Surf II LIVE! w/ Jessica St. Clair
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Hello, people of Seattle! We are live on our doppelganger tour to talk about a surf classic.

This movie came out in 1984, rated R, and the IMDb tagline or logline is, a disgruntled nerd who has been bullied in high school creates buzz cola, a soft drink that turns surfers into zombies. Way to fucking go, IMDb. That's not a description. That's a straight-up spoiler. And it actually simplifies how complex this movie is.

It's not just about that. It's about so many things. So many things. And, you know, surf two. There is no surf one. There is no surf three. But they did have a sense of humor about it because the tagline for this film was the end of a trilogy. So I do like that. Yes, this movie was really...

Like, in development hell, after it was shot, like, multiple recuts had to be done. They had to add a lot of boobs to, like, make it releasable, which is a crazy thing to say, but also explains why the boobs are so segmented in the film. Yeah.

It's like, hmm, odd. So we will break all of this down. But before I can do that, I must introduce to you my co-host. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzoukas. What's up, jerks? Go! Let's go, Seattle! Wow! Wow! Woo! Here we go. Give it up for the balcony! Holy shit. Let the bodies hit the floor.

Let's go. Well, well, well, Jason, surf to... I loved it. I... I loved it. It had two of my favorite things. Eric Stoltz and a guy getting slapped in the face by titties. Let's go, Seattle! Let's... Let's go! Best afternoon in the hotel room. How did it take me five hours to watch this?

It always, always happens to me when I watch a movie like this, the nudity comes on at the most inappropriate time. I was caught with the nudity, full, full nudity going on while getting like a drink from the stewardess and flight attendant and also the guy who was sleeping next to me woke up. So that... They knew! They knew!

They were like, I bet that iPad's playing titties. Let's go. And it was the first time where I was like...

Fuck it. I'm not turning this down. I'm just going to... I'm embracing that whatever I am, I am. I'm like, this is it. This is what I watch. Judge me. You should make a card, like Steve Martin has that card he hands out that says this card signifies that you've officially met Steve Martin or whatever. One that you give to flight attendants or for people on transportation where you're watching a movie with nudity that's just a hyperlink to this episode.

Catch me in three months and you'll all understand why I needed to see this nudity. But sometimes when I know nudity is going on, I'll just put my finger to block it. Just your finger, not your hand. Because you still got to see what's going on. I got to see what's going on. So sometimes I have been known to go like this. Just like...

Just a little finger bra? Yeah, yeah. Put her in a bra, guys! Put her in a bra! These are catchphrases that are over a decade old. Let's wrap our minds around that. Tonight we'll say put her in a bikini. Or put him in a bikini. Or put them out of bikinis. All of them. All right, so to break down this film...

as a person who is a How Did This Get Made all-star. She is filling in on this tour for our great June Diane Raphael, but she is a world-class comedian, actress, the co-host of The Deep Dive. Please welcome Jessica St. Clair. Hello. Welcome, Jessica. Woo! I...

I am so excited that you are here, and if you've been listening, if you know a little bit about this tour, we have subjected you to a lot of male...

a lot of sexuality. We called this tour the Doppelganger Tour, but I really think it's more of the Beefcake Tour. It sure is. Yeah. Because it has been hairless male bodies for days. And it's like, it's like, you know, Jason requests that there are twicks backstage.

Hey, I'm not going to apologize for it. King size twigs. And so every night I'm like, I'll treat myself to a twig. Well, here's the thing. Too many twigs is a bad thing. Just like seeing so many abs, hairless abs starts to make you feel sick.

This movie made you feel a little sick. This made me actually, and I'm not joking, gag on the plane. I almost threw up. Oh, wait, oh, wait. I never saw an ass crack that way. So hairy. So hairy. So hairy. So hairy. So hairy. No judgment, but just don't put it on film. Okay, no judgment. That's so much hair. So much. But my guess is it was during the eat-off. That's right.

So it was 7 a.m. I flew from LAX to Seattle, 7 a.m. I'm watching it. I'm crammed between two very large men.

In wetsuits. All the boobs, yeah. All the boobs are coming. All the boobs are coming. All the boobs are out. So that's weird. And then, and so the guys were clocking it like, what the fuck is going on at 7 a.m. Can you imagine St. Clair sits down in your plane and starts just like, fires up hard nudity. Yeah.

Truly. That's what it was like. 7 a.m. 7 a.m. Gotta watch it. There are boobs every 15 minutes in this movie. Like clockwork. And honestly, it should be a lot. Yes. So I'm watching it. I'm in a little matching sweatsuit. You know, I'm watching all these boobs. And then it got to that scene and I was like, huh, huh.

I would have loved it if you barfed on the plane from this. He literally almost did anyway. Well, you know where I was already upset? This movie, look, every 15 minutes there's boobs and there's also every 15 minutes there's a very long surfing scene. Loved it.

I loved that. I loved that. I would believe it if it was all B-roll that they'd purchased from a surf house. I think it was. Definitely. But also they've got like real songs. Yes. The Beach Boys. How did they afford that? They've got real versions of these songs. Except for the Chariots of Fire Frog Race, which is very much a sound alike. But beautifully done.

Beautifully shot. Gorgeous. This movie, let me be clear, is top to bottom, T to B, fucking great. I was very nervous by the poster. I was like, oh, okay, is this going to be a gross out movie? And I was like, no, this is a movie about teens falling in love, falling out of love, finding purpose, and fighting against the law, community. You know, it was about activism, this movie. I don't know.

I don't know about that. It was about the horrors of soda and what soda can do to our insides. And how parents just don't understand. Yep. Where I got nauseous and I had to rewind it was... Because you wanted to get nauseous again? Did anybody else... Can I just ask, show of hands, who actually felt physically ill watching this film? Yes. So many. Yes. Okay, so we... You're welcome. No. You're welcome. The...

What was going on, and I found out later, I believe, but when they showed that close-up of a person's foot, and it had those giant knots, and then later we heard about knee knots, and I was like, ooh. No, I think it was glue. Don't you mean when they were glued to the surfboard? No, no, this is in the opening sequence. I'm sorry. They just show a foot with, like, it looks like just...

big cysts. Yeah. Like, giant cysts. And it was like, oh, they clearly ran out of the usable surf footage and they're like, here's some B-roll of surfers with terrible injuries. Because they also show another guy, like, getting out of the water, like, fixing his crotch, like, pulling the suit down. I'm like, this is not funny. It just looks like he's uncomfortable.

But then we get to the school and what I love about this movie is it immediately makes no sense because the kids are trying to leave school and they're told, well, it's the weekend. That's right. Like, they can't leave school on the weekend. But...

When the first guy, I don't even know what his name is, maybe it's, I don't know. When he tries to eat through the fence. Mr. Big Head? Okay. Yes. This guy is a goddamn legend. Yes, he is. They clearly got him riled up as to like, you're Belushi in Animal House. 100%. You're our movie's Belushi, right? So every single...

scene you're in you just demolish everything and he did and he straight up does now but what's interesting is in this opening scene he bites through a chain link fence that's right

What we later see is that one of the things that happens when the kids are, spoiler alert, turned into vampires. No, no, zombies. Zombies. Zombies, but they are zombies that ingest acid and metal. So they already, so he has the skill. That's interesting. He already has the skill set that the zombie kids have, but he's never had a buzz cola. No. This kid has a 53 IQ? No.

They say at one point. Because he cheated. And he said he cheated because he cheated. I wish the movie had been about him full stop. Me too. I love this character. He was electric. He was electric too. He is, you can't get enough of him. Every time he's in there, he's hilarious. Like, go get your brother. He picks him up, throws him out the door. Rolled him.

What about when he made that convertible out of the car? He's so ingenious. Here's the thing. When that happened, and I can't guarantee this is true because my memory is porous. Yes.

When that happened, I had a vivid memory of seeing this movie when I was a kid. I'm sure you did. I'm sure we all saw it. Older kids were playing it at like a thing that was like families got together and kids had rented a movie in the back, but the older kids had rented a movie. And so I was sitting there...

And there was boobs in the movie. I remember that. But I vividly remember chainsawing the roof off the car. And then my parents coming in when there was like nudity and being like, wait, what's going on back here? That's the 80s. Come on, we're going. Let's get out of here. And I feel like this movie was powerfully important to me as a child. It might be. It's almost as if it's informed certain things that have become very important to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Your parents got upset that you were watching annuity? I suspect so. Although, I think they were more upset because they were fine with it if I'd been like, can we watch this? And they'd be like, oh, yeah, okay, that's fine. Well, my parents caught me watching Risky Business on Thanksgiving at my grandma's house. Now that's the saddest. Again, there is only so much room in his books.

For sad stories. Oh, there will be sequels. There has to be a sequel because we're about to hear one. Okay, what happened? You're all alone. I was sitting there. For the sequel, Joyful Recollections of Joy's Past. These are the good stories. These are the fun ones. I was sitting there and I was watching Risky Business and my mom came in and she's like, you shouldn't be watching this. Yeah. And then left. Yeah.

There we go. But it was never like, it wasn't told like, change the channel. Charles Dickens story. Jesus. I watched it and I learned a lot about women and men. It occurs to me that people who didn't see the movie might not understand what's going on. Oh, you think? People who saw the movie don't know what's going on. Nobody knows what's going on. Here's the thing. This movie is a repressed

Here's the thing. I think we would gain a lot if I just read the crawl that happens at the beginning of the movie. Okay, thank you. I forgot there was a crawl. Go ahead. I think it would really help us understand what's going on. Get your glasses on, Grandpa. I don't even think I saw a crawl at this point. Long ago in the good old days, surfers ruled. It was bitchin'. Right? Yeah, yeah. That was before the threat of chemical pollution, nuclear waste, and the horror of Buzz Cola.

Menlo Schweizer was a high school genius who hated surfers. He invented a weird soft drink, involved local businessmen, and set out to rule the coast. He nearly succeeded. Did you not see this? Honestly, I have no memory of seeing this. Wait a second. Did only I have this? Wait. Hang on. Raise your hand if you saw this. Oh, that's not many people. Hang on. There's multiple versions of this movie. This would have helped me. I saw it on YouTube. Maybe they cut it out. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

The director's cut. Director's cut is what I saw or what they saw? What are the differences, Jafar? First of all, she's in costume. It's Jafar. Yes, Jafar. Jafar's back? Yeah! Oh, shit, that's a great costume. Great work, great work, great work. That's terrifying. What are the notable differences? Okay. Okay. Thank you, great work. So now my question, raise your hand or cheer if you saw the version with the crawl, the director's cut. Great.

So now, if you didn't see that, cheer and raise your hand. Oh, wow. Wow. Well, by the way, I signed up for some service I've never heard of. Me too. What the fuck? We're going to be paying for that for the rest of our lives.

Cancel yours. If you're listening now, cancel that subscription. I don't even know how, Paul. This is also a reminder, if you joined MGM Plus, you should unsubscribe from that. Yeah, I know that this movie was re-released on Vinegar Syndrome, which has done a lot of the movies that we have done. Great company. But yeah, I didn't get that crawl. Oh, wow. I wonder what else is different. I'm so curious. So yes, the crawl. I didn't even finish it. I'm so sorry.

Oh, wow. There's so much more. By the way, it kind of wrecks it. I like figuring it out. The Galactic Senate meets to... Oh, wait, wrong crawl. He invented a weird soft drink, involved local businessmen, and set out to rule the coast. He nearly succeeded. This is the story of Buzz Cola and Menlo's revenge. What?

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. And as you said earlier, there is no surf one even, and the subtitle of this movie is the end of the trilogy? Yes. That's the greatest. I mean, this movie is in on the joke. Yeah, it is. 100%. But I also feel like it pushes in ways where it's like, are you? And that's what makes it so interesting. It's so weird. And they're like, Cleavon Little, who I love. Insane.

Insane. Clearly does not want to be there. Who is this? Which one is this? Daddy-O. Daddy-O, the head of the school. Genius. Who is everywhere. From Blazing Saddle. For no reason. Oh, yeah. Oh, him and Beaker. And do you think Beaker is named as such because he looks like the Muppet Beaker? Like real talk for sure, right?

Because he's a science teacher? Because he's a science teacher. Cleavon Little, at certain points, if you watch him, you will just see him sitting in scenes, motionless. And they become bits. It almost felt like, and I've seen Cleavon Little in other things. He is doing the Blazing Saddles performance in this. He is commenting. He is making choices. But he is just...

He might have needed health insurance. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I'll be on something with an older actor and they're like, between you and me, it was about to run out. And they'll always say like, you know what I think I'm doing in this scene? I'm off screen folding laundry. Like so they can get out of the scene. Because he really, I would forget he was in the movie, then he'd pop back in again. How can you forget about Mr. Daddio? Daddio is fabulous.

He's fabulous even though he's giving 1%. All of the adults in this movie are for real legends. Like, Ruth Buzzy's in this movie. Every time someone showed up, I was like, holy shit, Horshack's here? What the fuck are we doing?

Horschak, who plays... Like the horny deputy. Inspector Underwear. Underwear. Yes. And his boss... Chef Boyardee. Chief Boyardee. Chief Boyardee, who later says, later in the movie insists, I love SpaghettiOs. I was like, this movie is a fucking goldmine.

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Now, let me ask you this. Naked Gun. Yeah. Was this around the same time as a Naked Gun? Was this pre-Naked Gun, post? I mean, that's probably more. This is more, this is closer to, Bill and Ted is 84? Yeah, maybe. Right? Am I right? 86? Where am I wrong? I'm just wondering what canon we're in. Let's agree, yes. But I feel like, or we're closer to police story than we are Naked Gun. Go ahead. Really what this movie is, in many respects, is...

but funnier. Yes. Right? Like, Porky's was the hit. Well, it does have Bill and Ted's energy. You know what I mean? Like, the winkiness of it. Porky's still isn't in on the joke the way I feel like this movie is. Absolutely not, but I feel like they're kind of chasing the success of sex, kids, crazy, and I feel like... Sex, kids, crazy. That's it. That's the t-shirt. Or is it?

Or is it? Now, hang on. I guess what I couldn't quite wrap my head around was this movie was released in a movie theater. Wow. Like, somebody opened up their newspaper and went, what should we see? Surf 2? And then people went. I don't know how many, but it definitely was an option on a marquee. Oh, and people must have been confounded.

The way that I was. It took me 10 minutes to be like, oh, wait a minute. I love this.

Well, this is a scene that I think... When he starts up the ambulance game in the arcade and it just drives away, I'm like, this is... We don't do this anymore and honestly, we should. This movie's got fucking jokes and tits. Here's the thing. Even in the world that this movie is like, oh, we're doing jokes and we're doing bits.

They stand by and they react like, oh my God, they're shooting at our guys. Oh my God. But they never say, wait, stop. No, in fact, they never stop. They allow it to heighten from handguns to machine guns to hand grenades. They lob a hand grenade into the lifeguard hut and everybody walks out like...

By the way, I had such a crush on that girl. The blonde. Corinne Borer? Yeah. Am I close? Yes.

Also, huge crush. Huge crush on that Eric. And she's great. Everybody, that's the other thing, too. Eric Stoltz is in this. Eric Stoltz. Delivering, like, nuanced work, I would argue. I really felt in many ways Eric was in a different movie, a different film. He brings a certain gravitas to that role. He's like, I could see him as a guy who's, you know, got a dad that's doing bad things and he just wants to surf, you know, and be there for his buds. Yeah.

Yeah. But he's got an intelligence, you can tell, that's separating him from the rest of the group, especially from Mr. Big Head. Mr. Big Head. Can I show you the scene that blew my mind? I was already enjoying it. When this scene went on, my mind exploded.

Incredible. This is crazy. Incredible. The split kitchen. This is straight from Annie Hall. Yes, it's incredible. Why is your mouth in front of your father? Oh, crap. Watch your mouth in front of your mother. Sorry.

Pause. This is great directing.

Yeah. And reacting. This is when I was like, oh, this movie not only knows what it is, but is excellent at it. Because a dumb version of one of these movies, the version that we might do otherwise on this show, would never attempt this ever. Never mind calling it back multiple times and heightening it by moving the camera around and you realize there's no wall between them. They're looking at each other in

Genuinely incredible. When they literally open up the fridge and you can see them through the fridge, I was like... So funny. Do you understand other people watched Kraven the Hunter? Do you realize how good you had it? I enjoyed it. They watched two hours and 20 minutes of no sexual chemistry whatsoever.

I just thought zombies have more sexual chemistry than exists in Craven the Hunter. But it also feels like this movie is like they're having fun, but then there are these moments where you're like, but then they let people have too much fun. Well, here's where I'm just going to throw a little fly in the ointment here. Please. In the suntan lotion? Yeah, in the lotion. It puts the lotion in the basket. No, no. No, don't.

I will get off this stage and I will stop this. I'm not joking and it's not funny. What is happening? It's not funny and he knows it. Wait, that's a thing? I'm not laughing. Nobody's laughing on this stage. That's a thing for you? Don't do it. If you put it... I didn't do it. Honestly? I'm not... Don't. Don't think about it. Put your microphone down. It's not funny and don't. What is going on? No, no, no, no, no! No! He's not doing it.

He's about to. It rubs the lotion off its skin. It's not funny. Can I say one thing? It's going to be a line. I'm not a line for the movie. I'll call June right now. No, not a line for the. Don't make me blow this marriage up. I will call June right now. She is sleeping. Unless it gets the hose again. She's a big shoot day tomorrow. I'll call her right now. All right.

Can I tell you something crazy? I'm angry at both of you now. Yes. What? Me? I didn't do anything. I'm mad at both of you. Paul told me to do it. Paul showed me the quote. I didn't do anything. I didn't even know. I wanted to tell you something funny, which is this. Did you know? I'm so worried. Okay. I have to. Hold on. My fight or flight response is on. I need to breathe and get myself regulated. Okay. Paul, you are safe to me. All right.

Did you know that they rent out the house from the movie on Airbnb? Shut up! Shut up! Wait. It exists. I don't want to know this film exists. But who would want to spend a weekend at Buffalo Bob's house? Yeah. And then they try to make it fun. They have one room that just has arcade games. Well, that's not right. Is there still a pit? Is there a pit in the house? There is a basement. I don't want to remember anymore of the house. Moving on. What I was going to say.

So you won't stay there? You would never stay there? You know what? I'm seriously like, I am going to text her right now. How much money, for real, how much money would you, how much money for you to stay overnight in Buffalo Bill's house and watch the movie in the house? No fucking way. Billions of dollars? How much money? No, nothing. For charity? I've been trying to forget this movie since eighth grade. Every day of my life, it's me trying to forget. I did not know this. What about exposure therapy? No!

I won't bring it up. This piece of shit offered me like $5,000 to watch funny games. Like, what's wrong with him? Like, back when we had no money, he's like, I'll get the money somehow. That's good money. Anyway. That's good money. All right, you know what? Let's not talk about it. So the garbage eating scene. What item made you retch? Was it the raw fish? Yeah. Or was it the metal? What was it? Ah.

Because I got a... I will agree. Did you also feel like you were going to drop... That scene became too much at a certain point. As did the scene where he's chugging the viscous motor oil. Me too. Because I was like, this is too thick and it's stressing me out. Me too. It's like he's taking a barium swallow so that they can figure out what's wrong with his stomach. I was already upset when I saw that in his bedroom he just had a loose thing, a stalk of celery and motor oil. And I was like...

What's going on here on the reg? I felt bad for Jocko. Sometimes I didn't, a lot of times. I recognized it as a joke, but I didn't know what was funny about it, and it started to make me question my job as a comedian. What am I missing? They were sometimes crowding the movie with joke or joke-adjacent words. They were adjacent. I believe the radio station mentioned the Mighty Dildos.

That was a thing that I was like, wait, that went by quick. I couldn't figure that out. Somebody said, one more thing, schlong. Yes. I wrote that down, too. I wrote that as well. And I also was like, wait, what? And I felt like at one point Beaker was very specifically dressed as the mayor from Jaws.

Yes. And then they pull out the orca, which is the boat from Jaws. There's so much referential stuff going on, and it's coming so quick that the movie is pretty much going to reward re-watching. Yeah, for sure. But then you get a line like, excuse me, are you available for dating? That's a great line. Yeah, great line. Then I'm back.

And then she said, well, what are you thinking? And at one point I wrote it down. I think he said, are you open to holding hands? I was like, what is happening in this movie? Or when those guys were in the lifeguard stand, hey, you guys are nude.

Like, these are funny lines. But what they then do is they jump right back into, these dudes only want to talk about surfing. They don't care about boobs. Who are these guys? What are you talking about? Seriously. I mean, that's what I love about this movie so much, that it's a surf movie where they go and watch a surf movie. Yes. Yes.

And we watch the movie they're watching. Yes. And we're better for it. We are.

And Cleavon Little is at the movie theater. He is just the high school principal. He is the head of the town council. He is at the movie theater. He is at the surf competition that he is telling people actively not to participate in in the first scene when he is the principal. And someone says something, and I think he says, your mama. Like, I think that's the first line that he says. Yes!

Do you think he improvised? Do we think there was a lot of improvising in the movie? Yeah. Yeah. Jess, I do. I don't know. In the surf movie, we also, and this is where I think the movie does these jumps that I love. The surf movie, the nerd character comes in. Oh, Eddie Deason? Eddie Deason. Now, is this a nerd we've seen in other movies as a nerd? This is an iconic 80s nerd. What else have we seen him in? Grease. Grease.

Grease. He's the one at the big, yeah, that gets knocked down at the stairs. Okay. He, when he comes in, they throw a flaming bag of shit on the floor in the movie that he steps in out and he steps in shit. Great classic prank. But then I was like, think about that. Well, that's what I was saying. My thought was, so someone brought a bag of shit to the surf movie just in case? That was someone's intention. They just got lucky that Eddie Deason stepped in it.

Because it looked like they were having a good time. And by the way, Eddie Gieson, who has a framed picture of Jerry Lewis up in his... What was that about? Well, because he is essentially Jerry Lewis. Yeah.

So he is like... But yet he's a scientist. But why would he have that? Because I actually didn't see that. I just saw the cracked picture frame. At the end. And I was like, who is this? Yeah. Well, look, let me tell you one thing about Eddie. There's so many Easter eggs in this film. That's what I'm saying. In fact, it's almost all Easter eggs. We're all going to watch it right now. Let's go.

There's no plot. The movie was... There's no plot, just Easter eggs. It's all just nuts character beats. It's all sketches. That movie theater scene where... Is her name Sparkle? Yeah. Keeps saying, I have to warn you. I have to warn you. And that is such good... This is like...

dumb Abbott and Costello. There are so many dumb cartoon jokes all throughout this that I was having the time of my life. And I never felt this way before.

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So the writer-director wrote this role, Menlo Schwarzer, specifically for Eddie Deason, who just said, I have one note. Please change the character's name from Stinky Schwarzer. But...

D.D. is a great name. Menlo made no sense. But it's also like a stinky dick, right? Stinky Schwarzer. So he also, this is the fact I love, Deason provided his own hat with elongated brim. What was that? Incredible. Incredible. He should be in jail, but instead... There it is. But instead he's at the beach.

He's at the... How did he get out of jail? They don't even explain it. Who cares? He's a hero. When he hits her in the face with the hat, I was like, we're all winning. This guy is amazing. He gets his own hat and he also provided oversized novelty scissors.

Bless him. I mean, think about that. He provided oversized novelty scissors. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, he is doing, I mean, he is doing a good Jerry Lewis. Like, hey, ma'am. Like, that kind of. Yeah. That's his whole thing, I feel like. In this era, that's his, like, I feel like that's what he is. Right. He is like, he is the. It's almost too bad, you know, because we've gone away from nerds being destroyed physically and emotionally in movies. Well, nerds, nerds rule now. Nerds rule. But I.

But I feel bad for the upcoming nerds that would play these type of roles. They really don't have a voice anymore. Yeah, we need to get back. You want to give a voice to the... Bring it back. Bring back kicking nerds around. I think that's just incels now. For fun.

And by the way, this movie does have a lot of people that are trying to remind you of other people. I believe that the Sparkle, she is supposed to be like Olivia Newton-John. And when she said he had everything, he was short, ugly, carried a slide rule. Isn't she also doing an Australian accent? Is she Australian? I didn't know if she was doing one or was an Australian. No, she's not Australian. She's Australian. So she's doing an Australian accent.

Like, this movie does have a little bit of a plot for a bit, and then it just becomes like just vignettes of insanity. And you're like, okay, fine, I don't know. Intercut with surf scenes and dance scenes. Yeah. And like extreme close-ups of just torsos. Just boobs and butts dancing. What? Can we explain? This is where I think I'm a little confused. Not that I need to break it down in every little detail, but so...

His plan was to... Who's he? He is... Dinky. Dinky Schwartzen? Yep. Was to create this... Well, okay. Huh. I want to walk it back because I know that there's two plans at play, right? One is the soda and the two soda guys. They have a plan, right, to do something. I'm going to say something. Right, but they're not working with Menlo Schwartzman. No. They are. They are.

They are. Oh, they are. They're working with him until the end when he turns on them and turns them into ladies. Okay, right. But what are they working with him to do? They are making... Okay, let me go back to the crawl, if you don't mind. If you don't mind, I just will refer to the crawl. No!

That was before. Okay, no, I won't read that part. Okay, Menlo Schwartzer was a high school genius who hated surfers. I know that. He invented a weird soft drink, involved local businessmen. Oh, Menlo invented the cola. He invented the cola, involved them. They are, I believe, like the money behind it, and set out to rule the coast, period. He nearly succeeded. It's a real spoiler alert. Yeah. Right at the top. I will say it gives away the endings.

Well, okay, so... Emperor Palpatine has cast... Now, this is... All right, so he was working in cahoots with them, and that's why those servers showed up in the beginning to take the soda from the petroleum factory. Yes. But then why were those...

But then the surfers are also like living lives. Wait, which surfers? The heroes? Eric Stoltz and his buddy? No, like the first zombie ones. Oh, Jocko? No, before. The first ones. Pre-Jocko, the guys we see get sucked down in the first scene. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

No. No. These are the guys who go to the arcade and drink the soda. Those guys. Got it, yeah. We don't really know their backstory. We just know they were maybe killed. Yeah. They turn into zombies. Right. And so they're just like living their lives as kids. As zombies. As zombie kids. As zombie kids, yes. Okay. So the dad. It seems like you think this movie's confusing and it's not. But.

Well, let me ask you this. Do the dads know that kids are being turned into zombies? Not only do they know, they know that one of their sons, in fact, is a zombie who is now rampaging in... Oh, no, no. Jocko is Bernie's kid. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Those two dads make sure their sons know not to drink soda. Right. Because they were like, we'll never drink soda. Oh, yeah. Jocko is Corinne Borer's brother?

Yes. Yes. Okay, thank you. Sorry. Okay, so Stinky's whole situation is she wants to turn every surfer into a zombie. I believe so. Right, because the surfer has turned him into a person with female anatomy and male anatomy.

The surfers? That's revealed at the very end. Yes, because the surfers gave him a drink. They poisoned his drink. It almost feels as though that's what happened in the first movie. Yes. If that movie were to have existed. Oh, wait. Menlo has both female and male parts? Well, I assume so because he lifts up his shirt to reveal that he is also in a bikini.

Different than underwear, but a bikini. So he definitely has breasts, and the breasts were given to him. I don't know if they took away his penis. At some point, yes, the surfers put chemicals in something he drank. And it disintegrated his penis? I don't know what. Or I think it just added breasts. And that is the inciting incident that is causing him to seek revenge. If this was a better movie, we would have seen his breasts.

Oh, by the way, we would have seen it at the end of Act 1 and they would have been glorious. So then he took his high school girlfriend who's a real nerd and put her in a face-shifting machine. Florinda. Florinda Buckworthy or something? Yes. Florinda Butnik. So Florinda Buckman becomes Sparkle.

But they also seem like they are still in high school. She has re-enrolled in high school, but he is, I think, out of high school. Well, she didn't re-enroll. She came back in as another person because she had to keep a secret identity going. But he doesn't look that much older than Eric Stoltz. I think he's recently out, and he's living underwater. Is that right? Yeah. Hmm.

So let me ask you this. Do you think she is like, what if Sandra Dee arrived at high school after the end of Grease has just happened? Yes. Right? Yes. Oh, yes. I'm sorry, Sparkle. I should have been more specific. No, I like what you're saying. Sparkle is a Bobo Olivia Newton-John. Let me be, is this movie a better sequel to Grease than Grease 2? No.

It's giving me Grease 2 vibes. Grease 2 makes me feel sick, too. I mean, June is going to be furious. Yeah, I know. June loves Grease 2. I know she does. She's obsessed with Grease 2, but this is very... You're right. It gives me the same... This feels very much like what if all the kids from the Grease High School went to the coast? Wait, are they on the... Where is Grease High School? Well, it's Venice. Oh, it is. Oh, then disregard it. Oh, this makes sense. Yeah. Should that be the shirt? Surf 2 better than Grease 2? No.

And then asterisk at the bottom, don't tell June. I'm not going to be a... So fun to hurt women. Yeah. You have it a lot, don't you? It rubs the lotion on its skin. I would never have Beth put a picture of Buffalo Bob on that screen. So fun. I want you to know that every time you guys send me a movie, I'm so worried it's going to be actually scary. This one, I was really worried about because I thought it was going to be about zombies.

And it was okay, but I felt very worried. This was very easy, I think. You know what? And I will say also, I don't know why I'm going down this road, but I will say that I was impressed by some of the restraint this movie had. Like when Officer Underwear or Inspector Underwear wanted to feel up those naked girls, the chief was like, no, don't be a fucking creep. No. He was

on roadside. No, he puts a cigar in his mouth and it's like... Like he's sucking his own dick? It's fucking next level. But I did appreciate it. I was like, oh, this movie is like...

On the right side of creepy. Right. He's like, ooh, ooh. I agree. I agree. Every so often, a girl was, for no reason, dragged away on their towel. So was an old woman, too. I'm so sorry. That was an old woman. That was an old lady. That was an old woman. That was an old lady, and she deserved it for getting old. When that old woman got dragged into the ocean, I was like, wow. That was insanely funny.

But what I did enjoy is that if people were going to take their tops off, they did it willingly. They did it to celebrate, you know, to celebrate the sun and the surf. Nobody was pulling their tops off, which I appreciate it.

My favorite thing about the gross-out eating contest, which is it goes on for a very long time. That's what made me sick. And it keeps tightening. It keeps tightening. So it's our John Belushi guy who is not a zombie versus our, is it Jock?

or is it one of the other zombie guys? It is Jocko. And it is a gross, it starts with, I believe, seaweed, and then it just keeps escalating. They're eating glass. Anyway, what's crazy is it's so gross that in an effort to kind of, I feel like, make it more palatable, the only thing they cut away to are the boobs dancing. Yeah. So all the reaction shots are people watching and then just boobs dancing. What is this?

But not their faces, just their boobs. No, it's just... It's just there. That's like not even a three-quarter show.

That's a cowboy. That's a cowboy. That is, I mean. That's called a cowboy. I mean, and then Dick Dale is playing music at that point, too. Dick Dale is in this movie. Annette Funicello and Frankie. Oh, they're playing Miserlew here. This is crazy. Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon, the stars of these big beach movies, they refused to be in this film. Huge mistake. They were like, no, no, no. Huge mistake. Yes. All right, let me go out to the crowd. Let me see what we have here. Questions from the audience. All right.

If you're in costume, I definitely want to talk to you. All right, what do we got? Oh, we got it. All right, here we go. Let me go. Oh, my gosh. You have a folder, a full, how did this get made folder? There's a binder? A dossier. This is a surf tube binder? What's it say? This is pretty intense. And you're in a full Jason Manzuka sweatshirt. Oh, gosh. And by the way, I want to make sure, you know, as I'm talking to people in the audience, no one do a Buffalo Bill impression. That's not funny, Paul.

I'm trying to protect you, Jess. I've already texted her. She's asleep. Don't tell on us. I'm going to. Hi, what's your name? What's your question? My name is Becky. My question is, if you were tasked today with casting Surf 3, the revenge of the trilogy, who would you cast? And you can include yourselves.

Wow. Wow. I mean, my first instinct, honestly, is to cast all the kids from this movie as the adults of the next movie. Well, Eric Stoltz, of course, should reprise his role. Stoltz, Corinne Borer, like any of them. I think we're throwing a Johnny Knoxville in there. Sure. I'd love Knoxville to be in there. As the principal, maybe? You know who I put in there right there? Jeremy Allen White as the Eric Stoltz character. Yeah, great. Great. Great.

I think he would be great. I feel like I could throw like a Flava Flav in there. Get him out of retirement. You want Flava Flav? You know what I mean? Him and his giant clock. That's the guy with the giant clock. Giant cock? I feel like it's one of those things you could just throw anybody on the wall. You know what I mean? I feel like this podcast, I genuinely believe, could get Surf 3 made. Yes. I don't think it'd cost that much.

I don't think it'd cost that much either. Oh, no. And I definitely, I would want to be in it. I would want to be like the mayor or some other, or I would want to be like one of the dads or some sort of baddie or something. How about Martin Starr as the Eddie Deason character? Great, great. That's a good, yeah. And let's all agree that it's got to have, I don't know, more booze? Sure. Sure.

Yeah, sure. All right. Yeah, but they got to be naturals, you know? Yeah. Yeah, large American naturals. I agree with Sinclair, big naturals. Now, that's interesting you say that. So I'm agreeing with, it's interesting, I'm agreeing with Sinclair's point, they should be big naturals. Surf three big naturals? Is that what it is? Surf three colon big. Surf three colon big naturals dot, dot, dot of Seattle? Yeah. Make boobs great again on the back.

All right, I got these people all wearing Buzz Cola hats. Wait, what are they wearing? Stand up. Stand up here. What are you wearing? Buzz Cola hats. Buzz Cola. Buzz Cola. Cute. Thank you. That's cute. I couldn't hear it. That looks great. All right, so Buzz Cola people. Do you have a question? No? Do you have a? No. All right. Oh, you got a present for me. I'll take this. Bye. Be careful. Now I got to say thanks. I'm guessing it's going to be Buzz Cola. All right.

What is that? This is the official Big Nick costume worn by Gerard Butler in Den of Thieves 2 Pantera. What? Smell it, Paul. Smell it. Paul, smell it. Quick, Paul, smell it. Whoa. Quick, Paul, put it on. By the way...

It smells delicious. Wow. Fuck, that's hot. Put it on. Put it on. Put it on. Put it on. Put it on. Put it on. Yes. Yes. Fuck yes. Oh, like a glove fits like a glove. Yes, Paul. Yes. Fuck. Yes, Paul. I feel powerful in this shirt. Wow. Wow.

Fucking big neck, man. I fucking love this. You look great. You do look great, Paul. You feel great. It hangs right on you. It does. It's hugging you in all the right places. And lest anybody think somehow this is promotional, paid promotion for this movie, it is not. These movies are fantastic. I have a Den of Thieves hat that I wear around. I was going to bring it on tour and I was too nervous I was going to lose it.

That's sad. It's precious. It's precious. I just couldn't. I left it at home. I was like, this will be fun. I'll wear this out. No, too scared. It's the kind of thing that it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. I'm going to literally punch you in the dick. I'm serious. Don't try me. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, right? All right.

All right. What's your name? What's your question? Hi, my name is Don. This question is for Jessica. Yes. No, if it's, hold on. No, no, no, no. Not going to do it. Paul and I can just get fucked. Okay. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, I was wondering if random beach bonfires are better than trash can fires. Yeah, were you triggered by the beach bonfire?

Or no, because that's a less dystopian thing. I was triggered first by the makeup of those zombies on the cover because I thought we were definitely heading into the future. I was so happy to be on terra firma that I will take a beach bonfire over a trash can fire any day. I found myself thinking, this town seems like fun. Great. You know what? Do you know what I mean? This town seems like fun. Honest to God, I would vacation there tomorrow. Me too. Me too.

Anyway, thank you for thinking of me and my nervous system. And I think it's Big Naturals California? Yeah, Big Naturals California. You said it takes us into the future, which is ironic because Eric Stoltz was originally cast in Back to the Future and then fired because he wouldn't go into the future or the past. Wow. He was a present day kid. I didn't know that. Imagine if this was part of the Back to the Future universe.

Might be. I'm with another guy with a Buzz Cola shirt on. Oh, wow, yeah. Wow, there's a lot of Buzz Cola. Is there just a lot of Buzz Cola merch? Oh, I'm so impressed. Are these real or did you make them? We made them. Amazing. My name's Emerson. I'm the makeup effects artist from Wolf Cop, the movie.

Which you guys totally need to do someday. Which made me think and check the credits. Who did the makeup effects? And you'll be surprised that Greg Canham did, who won four Oscars for makeup effects. And, you know, clearly this is where he got his shot. That's amazing. What movies has he won Oscars for? For Vice, for Mrs. Doubtfire, for Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Whoa! Wow!

Wow. Great fact. And only nominated for this one. Not a winner, but nominated. Wow. It's amazing. And this is a year after he did the makeup on Thriller for Michael Jackson. Whoa. He was tired from that. It shows. You see it. That's awesome. It's on the screen.

If anyone wants to, and I'm not saying touch me, but wants to touch the shirt, you can. What? Paul! No! Paul, no! You're in the shirt! You're in the shirt! Oh, yeah. Just look at it. If they can touch the shirt, that's you. I don't feel like it's me. I feel like I'm fucking Nick. You're not Big Nick!

Fucking get in there. Oh, shit. Is that why you just texted me? Let's go to Benihana, bitch. All right. What do you got? Okay. So, ostensibly, the buzz cola is supposed to make surfers stop want to surfing, right? Yeah. But then we get a pretty extensive scene of two zombies surfing. Oh, you know what I think it is? I think that they're supposed to be better surfers to then beat the regular surfers.

So then those surfers are disheartened. Is Eddie Deason's plan that the zombie surfers are going to win the surf contest? I believe so. That's got to be it, right? So that that's his revenge is the surfers lose? That's my guess. It's a real long walk for that. But I mean, like, really? I mean, just to win the surf contest when at this point, like, this is an indestructible army. When they are in the classroom and one of the kids is just guzzling from a beaker and someone says...

That's acid. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. These kids could do, drink, eat anything and be unfazed. But then at the end of the movie, Corinne Boer is basically like, yeah, as long as I didn't have buzz cola after the effects wore off. Which is what? Indestructible body?

So do all of those zombies turn back to regular kids? Of course, they're fine. They're fine, all right. They're fine. At the end, they are fine. And now I'm in the balcony. Oh, whoa. Seattle balcony. But the lower balcony.

The lower balcony. The LB. Hi, what's your name? My name is Ryan. What do you got? So the surf contest is the Buzz International Surf Contest, which means ostensibly the prize for this is just five minutes to talk about whatever you want, and if the zombie surfers win, they get to sell more Buzz Cola, and that's just perpetuating the cycle of almost taking over the West Coast. By the way, yeah.

Great work. Great point, yeah. Because, I mean, everyone's watching. So this is a cash grab, you think? Visibility. Visibility. I think the dads, who I also think were held back in school and were the ones who put that stuff in his drink, because they seem to be the subjects of their revenge. The dads are these OG bullies? Whoa. You think the dads are the... Absolutely. I think they were held back in school long enough...

People are turning against you. People don't like it. People don't like it. You had us and then you lost us. You've gone too far from here. Too close to the sun, sir.

I want to come to this hat in one second. Just come out to the middle of the aisle because I have no way to get to you. Oh, the balcony. The balcony, as opposed to down here where people were respectfully raising their hands, the balcony gesticulating wildly. What do you got? Okay, so I was looking, doing a lot of research on the internet. There's a connection between this movie and Washington.

So 30 miles west of here is a town called Everett, and they have a 14-foot tall brass sculpture called Surf 2. And that's with two, like it's a numeral, the Roman numeral digits 2. There's no Surf 1. The guy who made it makes brass automobiles. It has nothing to do with surfing or anything like that. It was made in 1976. Wow.

which is before the movie was released. But maybe inspired the movie. Yeah, I even tried to look, yeah. But the other fun fact about it is the town hated it so much that a disgruntled group hung the mayor in effigy off of the statue.

And it had to be moved because of that. People were so angry about it. Wow. Wow. Great research. In an absolute insane, bizarro universe show, the balconies got vexed? Yeah. They're doing like first-person research. It's like NPR up there. And the Richie Riches down here are a bunch of zeros? Yeah. What the fuck is going on? Hey, hey.

Technically, this is just kind of meh. Oh, this is meh? I mean, this is lower balcony. I'm going to say it's meh. That looks, I'll be honest, these fuckers look like balcony monsters. Yeah. Just wait. I'm looking at a fucking balcony. Just wait until I cross the barrier. I feel like just piss just streaming down these aisles. All right. Every seat's a toilet. Now I just want you to know I'm officially in jail.

the lower part of the top of the balcony. We can't see you, Paul. Good luck. There's no lights in that area. June loves you, Paul. Be careful. That's fucking terrifying. It's so scary. It's still so much higher. Don't be a hero, Paul. You don't have to go up there. You're a father, Paul. I can do anything in my new shirt. No, Paul, no. Oh, wow, the balcony is so deep. Woo!

Oh my God! Look at them! Holy shit! Those are scary people. Yeah! I thought this was the balcony, and those are terrifying people. I know. This is what I'm going into. All right, hi, what's your name? What's your question? My name is Lauren. My question is about the budget, because as you've already mentioned, there's been multiple... I'm going to pause you there, Lauren. On what planet do people in the balcony have budget questions?

I don't know what's up, Seattle. We're in a topsy-turvy world. I don't like to think about them being smart. I don't know about you guys. Go ahead, Lauren. You're killing it. Just really quick, this has been a dream control. Oh, my gosh. Come true to be yelled at by Jason. Wow. Dream bigger. And you were yelled at in a nice way. Dream bigger.

The balcony is more emotionally available than the orchestra? What are we talking about, Seattle? You guys are a fucking mess. She wants to know what the answer is. The answer is $2 million. But that's not what the show is. We don't go like, yeah, $2 million, $2 million. How much was it for the Beach Boys? I don't know. Do you want it broken down line by line? The balcony's doing forensic accounting on the movie.

That's what I'm talking about. Lauren's making you guys look like shit. It's Lauren and the girl with the binder. Everybody else can leave. I do believe the Beach Boys are probably cheaper to get because I feel like

They're in many movies, the Beach Boys. I feel like they must have gotten screwed by somebody very early on and got songs out there. It's not like Prince. Like, Prince is a needle drop that's expensive. Beach Boys get out there. But on closed caption, they kind of fuck up a lot of what they're saying. But I didn't realize the Beach Boys sang about thongs.

There is a thong in the beach. They were the original thong song. All right. Now I'm in the balcony.

How are you? I'm well. I'm Matt. Matt, what do you got? Well, number one, you are so far back in the balcony, I saw both commentaries to this movie. Let's go. All right. Our buddy, Chief Boyardee, went on to create the Star Wagon Company that makes the porta-potties in Hollywood. What?

Wow. Number two, Eric Stoltz, that scene when they were drunk in the lifeguard hut, he had never been drunk before. The director insisted on getting Eric Stoltz legitimately drunk. What? And he was sick for the whole day. Wow. And on a 29-day shoot, that's rough. All right, two more quick ones. What? They invested...

Paul? Paul, are you okay? This is the most cogent balcony we've ever had. Usually the balcony is blackout drunk, but somehow Seattle, the balcony showed up and these folks are just like, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, who cares? Seattle doesn't fucking play.

All right, all right. They invested heavily in the soundtrack, as you can tell. There are new original songs from Oingo Boingo, who at the time was a regional, undiscovered California band. The soundtrack was never released.

Wow. I had heard that that Oingo Boingo song is unavailable anywhere. Now, do you have anything else? I love the ska band that's playing in the one scene. What were they called? They were called Meet Something. I looked it up.

Last one, and this is probably the best. Everybody's favorite scene, the breakfast scene. That is not split screen. That's a real set. Director said they did that in two, possibly one take. Whoa! Whoa! Wow. And that is truly an incredible... There's two of them. There's two in unison scenes that are just fantastic. But it's a testament to the talent in this movie that they were able to do that in one or two takes. These are phenomenal.

actors. Again, Ruth Buzzy's in this fucking movie. I know. These are amazing. You have one more thing. Speaking of Buzz. One more thing. Here we go. Put the lotion in the fucking basket. I will climb up there and punch you in the dick, sir. I will do it. She can't get to the balcony. Do not make me do it. She can't get to the balcony or else she gets the hose again. Look.

Seattle has brought it, and now we see how they close it out. Because, yes, we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. Hey, my name's Celia, a.k.a. Balcony No. 4! Yes!

Wouldn't it be nice if we went surfing? That's what kids in California do. And wouldn't it be nice to drink Buzz Soda? It will make a zombie out of you. Dress up like punks in all their leather finery. Do you know they make it in an oil refinery?

Where's Mr. Menlo Schwarzer? He's so awful. But he turned Florinda Budnick into Sparkle. Yeah, let's talk about it. I give this one five stars. Oh! Amazing! That's the balcony! That's the balcony! Voice of an angel. A great song with that? Wow. That's unheard

from the balcony. All right, so here's the deal, everybody. The reviews on Amazon kind of suck. All right? They're just not good. So we kind of pulled these from everywhere. And this first one is from Letterboxd. And this is from Justin Laliberte. And Justin writes...

This was released five months before Gremlins and features a movie theater scene where mutant punks eat the film out of the projector and causes the film to burn the screen. Surf 2 was ahead of Joe Dante. Four stars! Four stars? Well, that's all I got on that one. No, no, I like it. I like it. This is just from an IMDb user named BeAnger.

Maybe this was in a different beach comedy? I think I remember this movie. Was there a scene in this movie where the big guy is eating a sub sandwich and Seagulls crapped it out and then he ate it again? 10 out of 10 stars!

See, it's in everybody's repressed memories. Oh, yeah. Surf 2. Surf 2, and I never would have found it. I know. What a happy accident. Yeah, whatever. This triggered a real memory for me, a happy one. Yeah. I don't know where this one is from, but it's worth the read. From Kerouac Fan. Written from, I see, on the road? Yeah.

An acquaintance of mine recommended this film when we were trying to define beat as in a beatnik type, i.e. not authentic as Kerouac, but like still fun. He said...

Wait, is that review in Freeverse?

Like, what? Did E.E. Cummings write that review? It's all lowercase and punctuationless? I mean, don't get fooled. These are references. And that's really all that I got. Wow. Because they're so weird. I mean, this one's really fun. I'm surprised. I feel like there would be a lot of people who were like, yes, you know, like in that way that I feel like all these 80s movies have. A lot of them are like this from Thomas Brandon. Spoiler alert, I haven't seen this movie since the early 80s when I rented it.

And I remember dudes drinking motor oil and eating garbage and fish carcasses. My favorite scene is when these two server buddies are too enthralled with their own serving stories to notice that both their girlfriends have unclothed.

Then they finally notice in a Spicoli manner and go, you guys are nude. And then they go right back to the surf discussion. It's got nerds, it's got surfers, it's got zombies, it's got hotties, it's got weirdos, it's got garbage eating, motor oil drinking, and a beauty named Crystal or something like that. Did I write this? And it goes, my guess is that it never went to DVD because it's too obscure. If anyone's reading this and you can get a copy, do it!

Ten stars. I agree. I mean, that's, yeah, these are wild reviews. I think that we hit all the major, like, yeah. Real question. What would you rather do? If we could make Surf 3, or do we make Surf 1?

I feel like making Surf 1 would be wild. And especially if Surf 1 took place today. Well, that's what I think you'd have to do. There has to be a time travel. Yes, it establishes time travel that makes sense with this movie, but this movie, of course, would not know. I like this a lot, because then we could actually use Eric Stoltz from today. Yes. Yes, and he plays like Papa Stoltz. Surf 1 colon 2026. Great idea.

2025. Surf one colon 2026 dash. It rubs the lotion on its skin. But it's suntan lotion. Surf one silence of the waves. Good. I bet we can beat this. I feel like we can beat this. Silence of the seals? Silence of the seals? I'm trying to think of a beach animal.

Clams. Silence of the Clams. Fuck. That's solid. God damn it. Holy, that's a shirt. Surf one. Silence of the Clams. It's got to be the t-shirt, right? Yeah, surf one, 2025, Silence of the Clams. Silence of the Clams. All right. I like it. I like it. It rubs the suntan lotion on its skin. It's, no. Yes, it rubs the suntan. It puts the lotion on the shell. It puts the lotion on its shell. Fine. Now I'm having fun again.

Would you recommend this movie, Jason, Jessica? All the way, yes. Absolutely.

I mean, this, with the possible exception of Kraven the Hunter, this tour's movies have all been bangers. A plus. But this is head and shoulders above them all. A plus. This right here, this right here is a how did this get made, thank God this got made. Yes. Because this, for me, this goes in the, this is a top five movie. Paul has taken off the T-shirt. Yes, yes, oh, it's even better. Paul has taken off the T-shirt. It's even better.

Paul! God! God, you look good. This looks so good! I gotta say, the shirt smells great. I think you gotta unbutton one more. One more. Give the ladies what they want! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Okay, we got... I feel like St. Clair and I need to leave. One picture needs to be just you in this. Yes!

For sure. It's just a quick watch. Den of Thieves 2, now on Netflix. All right. This movie is What a Fine. Look at you. You're manspreading in that shirt. You're a whole different person. The shirt is affecting Paul's personality. This is outrageous. He's got a squint to him. I just got a text from Paul that says, please call me Big Nick for the rest of our lives. Big Paul. Big Paul. June and Jess.

Wait, Big Paul, June, and Jess, I'm out? Just like that, I'm out? Yeah, baby, we're back! Big Paul, June, and Jess. Yes! I'm right here. Wait a second, did I die? Am I a ghost? And if I am, why am I still on tour?

Oh, my God. All right, so we would recommend this movie. Absolutely. Oh, hell yeah. I would recommend the hell out of this movie. I loved it. It was great. I did get nauseous. I will say, it's worth chasing down. No, you don't have to because it's re-released now. Oh, it is? To get on Vinegar Syndrome, if you want to buy it, they have the DVD special features, a bunch of great stuff. They restored it. It's great. If you want to do what I did and...

Sign up for FanCon. We're going to be paying for that for the rest of our lives. But you know what? I didn't know there were streaming services like $1.99 a month.

You give it to us? Give us the money? This is the kind of thing, because every once in a while we'll run across a movie that's hard to find, and I will say a lot of times you can, probably not this one, find it at the library. Yes, the library. That's right. Any librarians in the house? That's right. Stand up if you're a librarian. Give me house lights. Thank you, librarians. Give it up. Give it up for these heroes. Give it up for these heroes of books.

up for these heroes. We've got librarians in the balcony. What the hell? Incredible stuff. Great work librarians. Jason, want to promote anything? I'll plug a few things. Sure. Invincible season three just aired. Incredible season. Taskmaster season 19. Let's go America. Let's show these British fucks what's up.

May 1st, United States YouTube. And then we'll throw it out to the end of an era, Big Mouth season eight, the end of May. Wow, wow, wow. And also, Surf 2. Jess, what do you got? Yes, please come and listen to the Deep Dive podcast with Miss June.

Diane Raphael, and if you'd like to join our Academy of Significance, the Deep Dive Academy, I know I have some students in the audience. Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you.

And if you would like to learn how to small talk, the audio book, The Art of Small Talk, I wrote with Casey Wilson is available. Anywhere you would get your audio book. It's a great audio book. I love it so, so much. Well, first of all, there's a little server, a little streamer called Netflix, and they're showing a film called Den of Thieves 2 Pantera. Check it out. If you like exciting, slick, thievery,

You'll fucking love this movie. No doubt. And I'm not just saying that because I'm wearing Gerard Butler's shirt from Den of Thieves 2. I wish you could just start slowly, slowly making yourself like into a Scottish brogue. I was trying and it was going to be embarrassing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the only movie that when June said, what do you want to do for your birthday? I said, Den of Thieves 2. Um,

Also, the dark web. Every Monday on YouTube, Rob Hubel and I, we search the dark web. We find lawyers who make Instagram videos after they get their clients acquitted. We revisit shows like Passions and dissect all the weirder shit. I order stuff from him. I order stuff off of Timu, and we look at it. It's all weird stuff. It's free on YouTube, the dark web. Um...

And that's it. Can I shout out one more? Please. I have a local shout out for Easy Street Records. That's right. Holy shit. What a great record store. I spent the afternoon there and I spent money. Now I have like 10 pounds of vinyl on tour. Huge mistake. But thank you, Easy Street Records. Wow. Wow.

Home run. Thank you, Seattle. You have been absolutely incredible. I'll be out there signing books in just a couple minutes. Thank you so much for coming. Good night. Eat shit, Seattle. Seattle, I love you. And that's why we are coming back to Seattle on July 9th.

Jason, myself, Rob Hubel, Mary Holland, Carl Tartt. We're doing dinosaur improv on July 9th at the Neptune Theater. You can get your tickets at hdtgm.com. We'll also be in Portland where we're adding a second show on July 10th. That's right. You bought so many tickets. We added a second show and then the real big show. We are going to Vancouver for, how did this get made? Jason, June, and...

and myself doing the Stallone classic Driven. That's right, a movie that forced Jay Leno to appear on Siskel and Ebert just to say how bad it was. That is not a bit. That is real. So a bunch of shows in the Pacific Northwest,

Seattle on the 9th, Portland on the 10th, and Vancouver on the 12th. Get tickets at hdtgm.com. And a big shout out to our producers, Cody Fisher, Scott Sani, Molly Reynolds, and our amazing movie picking producer, Averill Halley, and our engineer,

Casey Holford. All right, everybody, that is all for now. We will see you next week as we tackle last looks and we want you to bring up your corrections and omissions. What did you see that we might've missed from surf two? And probably there was a lot because we're

there wasn't enough time to break this movie down. All right, people, join us next week on Last Looks. And if you haven't been listening to Last Looks, you're missing out. We've had Larry Charles, one of the prominent voices in comedy on the show, last episode. So listen to these. We have great, great guests. Last Looks is where it's at. See you next time. Bye for now. I'm just gonna be here now

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