169: A Horse in a Dog's Body & So Much Utah (with Chloe Fineman)
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And we are back.

I was just doing some ASMR for Gareth and he was going nuts. Well, first of all, wrong. But second of all... Gareth was loving it. Yeah, see, your ASMR is not enticing. It's hostage-y. I'm going to do things to you and you're going to be afraid of me. Do you understand? I'm going to eat Cheetos on your bed. Yeah, see, you're conflating... Cheeto sauce. Cheeto sauce, it's a powder. But

Not if you're in jail, because you also put liquids in there. And you're trying to make it like weird burritos. I just saw your chat message. You want to read what we were doing? So basically, your messages were in this order. I can hear myself, and I hear you. And then I started saying, we need our parents here. That would be Nat Attack, Rob, Sherlock. Come on.

I mean it seriously. I know, but you mean it seriously because you said when it's just us two. You said we don't need parents and then you said we're nearly 50. Now you can get into your outrage. Because I'm outraged, Garrett. Why? What is your thing with needing parents? We're so old. First of all, you're a parent. So are you. I made a very, what are you talking about? The cat. I'm a cat dad, but that's different. That's like...

That's different. That's like a, that's a, that's a cutie move. You're like a hardcore parent. You're raising, you're raising two actual human beings. And I mean, I mean, technical parents, we need technical parents. Oh, that's a, that's a different thing. But why call you the guy who muted your mic? And for 20 minutes, we couldn't figure out what it was. No, let me finish. Cause you got hot right away. You got hotter than you on the mic. I,

We spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what the problem was, and you had just, on the mic, hit the mute button. Yeah, so we don't need parents. We need producers. You need parents. I need producers. You need parents. But why do you go, of all things to go to, why parents? Because I feel childish when we're sitting here in a world of tech going like, eh.

Who do you think is better, your parents? Could you imagine Pam trying to figure this out? Oh, I'm... Pam exists. Could you imagine Pam? Pam exists so that I feel like Steve Jobs. It is a constant... By the way, don't you say one bad thing about the woman of my dreams. It's not the same thing. Can I tell you something I'm doing that I wasn't going to tell you? No, no, no. Don't tell me anything you're doing. Yeah, I don't want to know. Okay. Yeah, take it to the grave, dude. Because I know exactly where it was going. I'll take it somewhere. This is...

It ain't going to be the grave. Do you think, do you understand? I could very easily do this about your mom. Oh, Jake. I'm going to give it to your mom. Oh, yeah. I would be happy for both of you. You guys would make a lovely couple. Well, she smokes a cool. She doesn't smoke cools. She did. She didn't. What did she smoke? Weird pull. Cools?

Did she smoke? Yeah. Of all the cigarettes. Did you steal her cigarettes growing up? No, I stole my dad's. Did you steal Pam's? I stole. Eventually I stole Pam's. And then honestly, this is how weird my life got. Pam stole mine. She stole yours? Yeah. When I was like. Was Pam kind of the party mom?

Well, it's a long story, but I sort of, because of what happened with my parents, and that sent her into a bit of her own little spiral. Mom and dad split. You were 12. I was 14, and I just, I was on the rampage. Late in the game for a split, by the way. I was on the rampage early. Before 14. Yeah. So you know when they say it's not your fault, it was a bit of your fault. It was totally my fault. I take full responsibility. Do you honestly, what percentage do you really think it was your fault? None. None.

See, you've gone to too much therapy and you've been loved too much. No. Alma, shout out Alma. Hold on. Shout out Alma. Shout out Zach Doc. By the way, when parents say it's not the kid's fault at all, they're sugarcoating. It's a little bit their fault. Well, you complicate it. You especially. My parents' divorce, guess how old I was?

Eight. Two and a half. It only took two and a half years. That's the best. That's how you do it. No. For my dad. That's the way to do it. Can't do it with this one. That's the way to do it. I can do it with the first two, not with him. That's the way to do it. So you blame yourself too much. Yeah, you're the opposite. You self-coddle. Slice of the pies. Let's say there's 100 slices.

What percentage do you think it's your fault? What pie has 100 slices to an event? Stop. It's a quiche, if anything. Go ahead. Slice of the quiche, baby. Okay, all right. Fine, we'll say 10 slices of pizza. Okay, well done. Okay? How many slices...

Are you, I want a serious answer. You really think it was only one? Yeah. You just said you were partying so hard. That was post. That was post. What were you before? Well, there was a, my parents had a real weird separation from seven to 14. So they sat me down. They sat me down at seven. By the way, keep in mind, this is who is out there dishing advice to people who are asking. You admit? Yeah, me. At seven, I was,

My... Gareth, people don't trust us. They should not. At seven...

They sat me down and they were like, we're getting separated. And I was like, divorced? And they were like, no, no, no. Like, they had definitely worked out a sort of severance for my... But did they know it was going to be a divorce at that time or were they still figuring it out? They must have. You know how it is when you're like in the weeds with that sort of shit and you're like trying to find... Yeah, it's like you're... So, so I... And then it was seven years of extreme confusion and complication where I had no fucking clue what was going on. Oh, that's tough for you, by the way. Yeah, it was horrible. And so that...

and turn with... Seven years of little Gareth wanting mommy and daddy to get back together is a sad Disney movie. And he was like, he had an apartment, he was staying at our house. I was like, and nobody ever sat me down for the recalibrate. Nobody was ever like, hey. By the way, you make more sense to me now. I mean it seriously. That's not even a dig. I bet. That's not even a dig. I bet. Because guess what you gotta be when dad's home? The best version of Gareth.

Oh, it was. And the joy I would feel when they were together. Yeah, and when they were happy. And then when they were bad, I was like, ah. My dad had an apartment where he, a duplex where he shared it with a set of twins, Ellen and Eileen. To your dad Connor? Huh? No, no, he was above. But I remember I went there, he was like, I want you to start spending some more time. Oh, okay.

at my place and I would go and it was literally like he was like the 80s cop who was like I work on my gut instincts we had similar stuff my dad when he moved out I chose my dad over my mom and I said like I'll be going with him you did yeah uh and I went to my dad's place and there was three Budweiser's some mustard and a stack of Playboys and that was it in the house and there was a photo of a woman behind playing the saxophone behind like 80s blinds

You could like make the curvature of her body. And I went like, I think I'm going to go back to moms. I was three. No me gusto esto. You got to think how amazing it is. Cause he was probably like in his head, he was like finally a bachelor pad. And then it just kind of results into like,

three porn mags. By the way, that's all he wanted. That's all you needed back then. But that you do make a little bit more sense to me. But now we got to go back, Gareth, because you're lying about one thing. We both know it. What?

And I just want the truth. And so does the audience. And they demand it and they deserve it. They don't even know what you're about to say. Yeah, but also, man, how many of these have we done? Like 1,000? 1,800. And we have the same amount of listeners with growth, but our base is with us. So they've listened to 170-ish episodes of us blabbing and you're going to lie to them right now? That feels lame to me. Why don't you get specific in your accusation? Why don't you get specific in your accusation? Is your dad...

And they're currently in the house. This is already so weird. Don't say something that's going to make him go. I didn't make him go. What? How many slices makes it your... One piece, and if we had a slicer, I'd cut that piece in half. You don't think that's true? I do. What are you going to say I was lying to the audience about? We were going to make this whole intro about Chloe. I don't know.

This whole point of this intro is about Chloe. And then you start out all-nighting me. Chloe Feynman from SNL, from her new movie, Summer of 69, coming out on Hulu. She also did the movie with me, Dink. I am a massive fan. Oh, I didn't know she was in Dink. Yeah, she plays my ex. She's so funny. Ah, great. She is so funny on SNL. She does...

And I know, you know, when somebody does such good impersonations, they get bored of just being known as that. But she's so good at that. She is so good. And I got to talking to her when we got to know each other. She didn't even know that was her skill set. Really? Yes. In her 20s, dude.

She's an actor who all of a sudden started doing voices and people are like, you're very good at this. Wow. That's awesome. So funny. Her movie is directed and we're going to do a re-release of Jillian Bells. Yep. Because we are huge fans and she directed the movie. I read the script of it. It's so funny. It just went to South by Southwest and it crushed. It's coming out on Hulu.

everybody should check it out both those women are a real uh a real self-reliance path dare we say yes exactly right yeah all right that's awesome well we will have jillian back on but yeah we will be uh getting the best of where she crushes but exactly right and so chloe's coming on today we're recording with her later so we cannot talk about the specifics of that because we can pretend

You're right. I guarantee she's going to be funny. She was great, the way she advised that woman who was 38. How many slices do you really think is your fault? I am talking about, here's what I am. You know the Domino's thin crust back in the day? Yes. They sliced it in squares? Yeah. Yeah, the cubes. Remember the corner triangle piece? Yeah. Bam, one of those. Your new nickname is corner slice. Ha!

I loved them, so I'm fine with that. I loved those. Loved them. I didn't like it. I loved it. Loved it. By the way, when I got to college, you know what I loved, by the way? Because I loved Domino's. Yeah, same. I was Domino's. Papa John's.

I was... With the weird dipping sauces? See, that's where we separate again. To me, I'm like, pizza's good. I don't need to just soak it. I'll soak anything. All right, we got to go. In Pam. All right, we got to go for real. We had to go 10 seconds ago for sure. So anyway, without further ado. You're more than just a corner slice. Stop it. I'm not. I'm a corner slice. Love you, but it's just truth. Love you, corner slice.

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This podcast is sponsored by the crisp, the refreshing, angry orchard. Now, Jake, you don't sound angry when you talk about it, because why would you be? Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about. But let's be honest. Sometimes it's hard not to be. I get angry at stuff, Gareth. Such as, Mr. Johnson?

Your perm? Stop. I'm soaking wet. Stop. Not today, by the way. By the way, your anger at the perm. I told you you're going to see my movie and you know it's going to be the perm. It was a ridiculous face. It's not even a perm. I don't know what's happening. I get angry at your love of the Packers.

I get angry at your delusion over the bears. I get angry at the draft in green Bay, where you just looked around and my mother who lived in Manitowoc, I'm like, Oh, look at this city. And people are like, and it's like, go back. And I was like, I'm feeling it.

They had a great draft. Listen, don't get angry about all the things that we talked about, except for Jake's kind of obsessive relationship with the Bears that they've never fulfilled him for. 1985, I was alive for it. It's one time. Instead, get an Angry Orchard and feel good. Feel chill and refreshed, not getting pissed off, but have a tasty Angry Orchard. Okay, Angry Orchard is the number one hard cider in the country, has a bright, crisp apple flavor. I just had one the other day, Jake. Delicious, yeah.

Uh, it's just like biting into a fresh apple, something we all want to do. So grab an angry orchard cider today. Don't get angry, get orchard and please drink responsibly. This episode of we're here to help is brought to you by the one and only square space. Oh, square space, Jake. We love square space. You guys want to see how square space works. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com. Gareth is at a square space website. Uh,

Jake, let me answer that question with one word, absolutely. And what do you like about it? When you built your website where people can come see you on the road, what works about Squarespace's website, garethreynolds.com? Squarespace not only makes the site look professional, the design is great. It's not that hard. You just are able to scale your business. That's right. It gives you everything you need. It's the best. It helps you. And now they just keep getting better and better. Well, they got cutting edge design.

They got SEO tools. That's big too. Do you know what that means? Of course I do. What does it mean? Don't push me. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and an auto-generated sitemap is what it means. And more, Gareth. The domains, they make it easy to find the best domain. There are videos. It makes it easy to showcase your expertise.

Check out squarespace.com/heretohelp for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code... - Heretohelp. - To save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Gilly, take us out. - Well, Jake, it's been a while. It's been a long while. - Thank you so much, Gil. Hello. - Hey, how's it going? - Good, how's it going with you? - Pretty good.

Man, your voice sounds very familiar. Is this a first call? Yeah, first call. Man, you sound a lot like we did a call with Max Greenfield about a twin brother who had a, he wanted to know if he and his brother's dicks were different with circumcision. Circumcision issues. It could be the other brother. Does he sound circumcised or uncircumcised by his voice? This guy? Circumcised. Can we get your first name, please?

Yeah. Zach. Zach. And where are you calling from, Zach? Beautiful, sunny Indianapolis. I love it, man. Never heard it described like that. Do you get excited when the combine comes to town? Yeah. I think it's cool. You sound pumped up. So you got Gareth and I, but then you got a special guest.

You know her from Saturday Night Live. I know her from The Dink, and we're all going to know her from Summer of 69, where she stars in a movie coming out on Hulu May 7th. 9th. Call it May 9th. Chloe Hunt is the show. You got to wear her in this one. We worked together this summer. She is the greatest. So, Zach, from Indianapolis, how old are you?

25. 25. Chloe, any question you want to ask Zach just about who he is, what he's about, just to get a start, to get a sense of him before we get into his problem? Are you single? Good question. No, I have a girlfriend. Ooh. How long have you guys been together? Ooh. Uh...

Two, almost three years. Such a man. You should totally. Such a man. Two, almost three years. My boyfriend and my wife is like, and our anniversary is November 15th. We've been together seven years. And he's like, shut up. It's been two. You add here. That's great. Yeah. So Zach, what's the problemo, sir?

So my girlfriend and I actually just closed on our first house. Pretty excited. Congrats. And thank you. Yeah, 25. Hold on, Chloe, go ahead. At 25 years old?

That's crazy. Yeah. What do you do? One of the pros to living in Indiana. I was going to say. I know I was going to say. It's great. It's the trade-off. Yeah. So, all right. So you guys just, you just closed on a place. And you're raw dogging it in the sense that you're not married.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Continue. That's correct. Small dog in it. Immediate yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. By the way, that's a bold choice, though. Are you buying it? I know. So 50-50? Not in terms of what you're spending, but what the paperwork says.

In the paperwork, it's fully in my name. Attaboy. Okay. We've been together for a while. We're confident. Hold on, Zach. So you're buying a house and letting your girlfriend crash there? Yeah, you didn't buy a house together. You didn't buy a house together. And you should tell her that, by the way. You bought a house. She's cosplaying as a homeowner. Yes. Got it.

Yeah, I haven't phrased it like that. She's either way. But yeah, I'll try the cosplay stance. Okay, so you're buying a house. You've got a girlfriend of two to three years. Keep going. Chloe's drinking three drinks. Yeah. Yeah. We, uh...

Got a fenced-in backyard with our house because we just got a puppy recently. You're really doing it. Yeah. We're not moving into the house for a few weeks because our lease with our apartment isn't up. There's some work we got to get done on the house first.

We put in some doorbells with cameras on them and that's when we noticed somebody, a girl, is coming over to our house every day and just kind of letting her dog off leash, run around like it's a private dog park, which I don't have much of an issue with. We're not living there yet. The issue is that the dog, a lot bigger than our dog, taking these massive dumps in the yard and she

She doesn't pick up after it. What? That's crazy.

But I understand. It is a disgusting thing to have to do. Yeah. No, hold on. Chloe, no. Yeah. No, she's right from that woman. Until very recently, if my dog pooed, I'd kind of go like this and then pretend until I got caught. The phantom. Don't say that. Don't be the fake picker. Phantom grabber. We see him. We know you're out there. Do you have the prop bag?

Me? Yeah. I just got bags regularly, I'd say in the last three months. Ew. Well, you could always go in Ivy, so it was like, come on, not walking into that. Ivy shitting for a dog is bold. Yeah. Yeah. But I got really good at like, whoop, and then kind of like...

Because it's so gross. You went to clown school and you told me this for real in Paris, correct? Yeah, true.

You have used the expertise to fake pick up shit and walk into the garbage can. Mine. Mine trade. So, Zach, this is a legit problem, my friend. So you are moving into a house. You've got a lady. You've seen her on camera. Can you describe her age vibe? It just matters in terms of what we're dealing with. Yeah.

So she's a bit far away from the camera in the videos I've seen. Initially, I thought her age was maybe, you know, young 20s. After some recent videos, a little closer, I'm starting to think maybe either like high, high school age or low college age. Oh, she's a kid. Could be, yeah, a little younger. Okay, I understand. My first thought, unless there's something more, Zach, that we need to know about this.

No. Well, I guess the detail that would be important to include is it's kind of a tight

tight-knit community. So I don't want, and I don't know where, which neighbors live yet. I assume this girl lives somewhere around, but I don't know exactly where. And I don't want to anger the neighborhood before knowing anybody. Yeah. Because you want to move in there. You're looking to most likely have kids with your girlfriend soon to be wife. You already got the puppy. You already bought a house. You're moving fast, Zach.

You're moving too fast. I feel like that's a bigger problem here. Take it easy. That's not what this call's about. That's not the premise of the show, Chloe. Just passing up.

How old is she? She's also 25. We're not talking about this stuff. That's not what we're talking about. They haven't even entered their Saturn return. That's not what we're talking about. You just have a lot of dog shits in the backyard. That's all we're talking about. When do you guys enter Saturn return, Zach? It's 27 to 30. I'm not familiar with Saturn return. Neither am I, Zach, because that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about a lady who takes her big dog and shits in your yard. Question for you about the dogs.

What kind of puppy do you have and what kind of dog is sitting in your yard? Yeah. So we have a... Did you just say yeah after that, Chloe? Yeah, I did. No. You're not allowed to say yeah because your question was a statement. You go like this. First of all, you shouldn't get married because you're too young. How old is she? I go, we're not talking about that. How old is your dog? You go, yeah, time to life. No way, dude. No way. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Also, you guys shouldn't be married.

No, I'm saying it's like, just give it a second. Jesus. It's a new set of problems. I think I'm just jealous because I'm, yeah, I'm just jealous. And I'm not going to make this about myself. It's really beautiful that you guys have each other and a dog. There you go. Yeah. Hey, big dog, I think you're tired. I think the flame's going to pop you, but remember...

Before you start talking about how happy you are for him and her and how beautiful she is, let's just remember the premise of this one. We got a dog in the backyard. And what kind of dog is in the backyard? There we go. So the dog in the backyard, I don't know exactly what breed it is, looks like some kind of large doodle, like a black and white large doodle. Gross to the dog brand. Chloe, your thoughts on that?

I know what those poos are, and they're huge, like a horse. A doodle is like a horse in a dog's body. God, that's horrible. Okay, and what kind of puppy do you have? We have a Shiba Inu, so much smaller. I have a Shiba Inu. Whoa. Here's the first piece of advice. Don't grow Ivy.

No, but you should. They're very, oh, this is really interesting now. Because you connect to it because you have the same dog. That's awesome. Oh my God, you have a Sheba puppy? That's so cute. Wait. He's adorable. We love him. Did you get him in Indianapolis? No.

Because there's a breeder there. Up north Indiana, near Michigan. Yeah, they have a lot of breeders there. Not that you should breed dogs. You're revealing yourself. They have a breeder there that you can get at a rescue after you buy from the breeder. After you rescue from... Go to Indianapolis, get it from the breeder, and then donate to a shelter there. 100%.

I'm trying to think of how to do this. What is happening, Chloe? How to do what? Chloe, you need to breathe. I got really involved with the Shiba. Oh, my God. It's a puppy? Oh, they're so cute. Okay. This is unfair that this doodle is ruining the poor Shiba puppy's yard. There we go. So, Chloe, what's your first pitch?

I'm trying to think of a way to like torment the doodle. That's like semi-humane. No, don't worry about humane. We're just pitching right now. So you're looking to make the backyard unpleasant for the dog? Yeah. So the idea is how do we, so the first pitch, which I'm liking where you're going is ruin the experience. Of pooping.

of pooing for the doodle. But how do you do that that doesn't ruin it for like one? Go ahead, Chloe. Like a horn. Like if you could like a fart machine or something or like a machine that emits a loud, alarming sound.

How would that work? I don't hate the idea. Yeah, but like, I feel like, okay, there's sensors. Like you could get like a sensor machine. I feel like you could just get this on Amazon. Like almost like a Halloween decoration. Because like my dog, Peach, like I don't, you have dogs, Jake, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I remember. Yeah.

Yeah, and I remember you told me your dog bites. He does. Get ready for that, by the way, Shiba owner. Just to like give you so much hope for your future. Anyway. But like, you know, the circling that a dog has to do to decide. I mean, that could be wrong. Yeah, the Roomba. And if anything startles a dog in the Roomba, game over. Yeah. Oh, that's a great idea. Zach?

Is there a schedule to when, because we all walk our animals on a schedule. Is there a schedule to when, can you see on your camera when the dog is there? And do you have a live feed? We do have a live feed now. We just got Wi-Fi connected to the house recently. This is interesting. And it seems to be sometimes like post work into early evening around dinner time in that range. What kind of window are you talking about?

Like 5 p.m. to 8 at the latest. 3, okay. Oh, here's another idea. Because I definitely like where Chloe's going with the sensor. We're just going to call it the fart machine. But that's also an air horn. It's just whenever that dog is getting into that squat, you just go, and the dog just jumps in as you start over, and she goes, go ahead, Chloe, what were you going to say? The butthole is like...

Yeah. I don't think we need it to say that, yeah. But I've lost my filter this morning, so yeah. Please. So the idea that Chloe wants to do is when the butthole's opening to just scare it back closed. Yeah. Now, I'm going to pitch something a little bit different, Zach, and it's going to take a little creativity on yours, but I think the one is a good fix. The only problem with the fart machine is you got to figure out, you got to be there. I know.

But it's not a bad idea, but you got to be there. Let's go to how farmers have dealt with issues like this from the beginning of time, and I'm going to call it the scarecrow. Crap crow. Oh, crap crow. Create something in the yard that scares the doodle. Yeah. I'm with you. Right? So this is just a seed, Zach, but it's the dog goes back there. It's a little dusky. It's not quite dark. But what can we do? Is it...

you put some sort of a statue of an animal back there and spray it with coyote piss. You see what I'm saying? I'm just hinting at something. Yeah, you're getting in the coyote piss realm, which we all like. I'm getting into the idea of the dog goes back there and doesn't like it because one, is making it unpleasant for her. Two, is just start spooking it. Three, another pitch.

start leaving signage for her that just puts a sign in there that goes like, you going to pick it up, lady? Yeah. Or I like your red shirt, but you look better in green. Yeah. I think it should say, caught you, bitch. And then give like an illustration of what she looks like or details. Or even a picture of her. Yeah. Take a picture and be like, yeah. But I...

Screenshot from the video record. I worry per Zach's earlier point that we're trying to keep our reputation in the neighborhood before we get in there on the up and up. So I signage wise, is she taking the dog? Is she taking the dog to the same spot pretty much?

Every time, Zach? The backyard that's fenced in. Is it pretty much? Okay, this is what I would say. Walks in the gate and then lets it go. Okay, so this is what I would say. Let's put some signs up near the gate that say we're spraying pesticides. Not spaying. That's a different pitch. We're spraying pesticides. Yeah.

Yes, there's toxic chemicals now being sprayed there to kill weeds or something. And we get some sort of sign that shows it's deadly to animals. Yeah, I like that. But here's what I want to amend to that, because that's a very smart pitch and that'll work. But I'm a little bit annoyed by her behavior. I don't disagree. But I don't think this is making you look bad, Zach. I don't think you should do the caught you, bitch. No disrespect, Chloe. I like it. Okay.

It's fine. I don't think we have to call her a bitch. I forgot we're in Indianapolis. In New York, you can say. I think you can. Yeah. I agree. I think you can. But we might be talking about a high school kid. But what I like is, I like putting a little fear of God into people, Zach. Yeah. And I like a sign that says, I like a little sign that says, I liked your green shirt yesterday.

But you might look better in purple like you did last Thursday. Also, don't leave shit in my yard again. That's scary. So you go, the fuck? You know what it kind of is like? Did you ever see the show The Watcher?

No. You didn't? Are you familiar? What is the watcher? It was like these people move into a new house, couple, they have kids. You don't have kids yet, but kind of similar. And then there's this person who's watching them and he kept giving notes. And it was like, I see you in the living room. And I think being watched is really scary. And it doesn't, yeah, it's fear of God. But you can be the watcher. But how about this as a watcher? Let's make it really creepy.

Let's put a sign by the door that says like one thing and then another side. So she thinks she's on a scavenger hunt. And the last sign like, stay out of my fucking yard, bitch. Maybe not the last sign. Yeah, you just went coastal again. Because Chloe was doing the finger thing. Don't blame Chloe's fingers. You can say fucking, but you can't say bitch? No, you shouldn't say either. But Zach, what do you think about

calling this pitch the watcher and you're the watcher when you hear that what's your instinct i like it i like it okay anything tell that to your voice sec wait also i think okay sorry go on go on

I think it's a good pitch. I feel like this opportunity was bestowed upon me by some higher power to have a little shenanigans, have a little fun with it. Yes, I agree. So I like an approach like that. My only concern is with a small community like this, if the girl knows others in the neighborhood and starts telling them about the signs, does it go from her being the weird one to letting her dog poop in my yard? It does, Zach. Or me being the weird one? It does. It does. It does.

What were you going to say? What about like as if you're getting walked in on, but it's poop. So bear with me. This is going to make sense. So is the girl always bringing the dog at the same time on the camera? Roughly, yeah. So why don't just show up at that time and be like, oh, that's crazy. This is literally my house. It is like a three-hour window, but that is – It's a three-hour window? Yeah.

Well, if you can afford... He said after work until dark. Five to eight, basically. So if you can afford the time, I think that's great. I would stake it out, and I would wait. But we're missing something fun, because this is all going to go away. Dress up like Austin Powers. That makes it fun. It's like a poop intervention. Yes, because here's what's going to happen. It's a poop out. Zach, as soon as you move into this house, it's over. Agreed.

So this is a problem that will solve itself. You're calling in because you're like, is there fun to be had in the meantime that one solves the problem? Two doesn't make me look like a weirdo, but three, just let this girl know. I see what you're doing and it's weird, which takes me back to the fart machine. Or you could do something. You could do something.

And I don't know, you might want to do this with that little dog of yours, because if you're going to let the dog go in the backyard on her own or on his own anyhow, you might want some sort of a movement sensor that turns on lights.

Oh, yeah, light. If it just lights up, that's scary. You could literally plug in. You can get online. You could get a sensor light. I got one in my backyard because when I first moved in, there was a huge owl in my backyard. I walked back there and what looked like something that was about three and a half feet tall, I walked in my backyard. It was just staring at me.

It was an out-of-body experience. Why did you want that to end? Bigger than that. Three and a half is exaggerating. Yeah, whatever that is. That's huge. Huge. And it was dark, and it looked like it was wearing, like, a cloak. And my brain couldn't put together what I was looking at. Damn. And I just walked back there, and I was like, whoa!

And this thing and I just stared at each other and then it did the little like owl movement and I was in a horror movement, in a horror moment. And so then I got a light out there so if there's any movement, a bright flashlight turns on like a floodlight. See, I would want the owl to stay. They're good luck. What did you think the owl would do?

Man, at that point in the evening, Chloe and Gareth, I wasn't sure. But whatever it was, I wasn't looking to mess with them. You didn't like it. I wasn't positive in the darkness. Oh, my gosh. What I was looking at was a human. I understand that. They're great. At the moment, I didn't say this is an owl for sure. Yeah. So what are you pitching?

I swear on my life, I had no idea what I was looking at. Okay, all right. But everything was happening fast. I went, whatever. This is either a little hobbit. This is a little human. This is an alien. Stop. Gareth, everything was happening fast. Stop. It did not look like an owl. It looked like a creature in the darkness. A hobbit.

What did you tell your wife when you decided you were going to get extra security? You think I talk about this? You just did it secretly? All of a sudden, two days later, there's a box. Plug it in. So what I would consider is a floodlight that's

Shockingly bright. Like the floodlight. Yep. I like that. You also mentioned that she's coming in through a gate, right, Zach? Lock the gate. Yes, a side gate. Why don't we maybe step up? Yeah, butter the gate. Why don't we... Hold on. Hold on, Jake. Whoa, buddy. Sorry about that. That's where you were going. You go. You go. Why don't you just...

Either put some signage on the gate or why don't you put a lot of like bells on the gate that makes it look like you're setting a trap that you maybe don't have the part B to for right now. So she notices a difference. Like something's going on. You're now, you are now escalating the chess match.

Just buy like five or six bells, attach them there, make sure it gives a good ring when you go there. And I think she might be like, what the fuck? Some homeowner is doing something and I don't know why. And maybe it moves them into a different yard. I think that's, you're doing very logical pitches, Gareth. I'm like the owl in your yard. Yeah. Huh?

I'm like a wise owl in Jake's ear. What do you think her motive is? Like, she's kind of like, does she like to kind of sneak and like poop and not pick it up and just not be responsible? Because she's kind of doing a sneaky thing. Yeah, I think it's just what's easy, you know? You don't got to walk them around the block and pick up after them. Right, you just go in this yard. You can just walk over to a yard and let them run. Hey, Zach, I got an idea. Get an owl. This isn't nice, but I think it would be effective.

I want you to go pick up one of the doodles big shits, rub it all over the handle of the fence. And next time she does it, she opens it, she gets dog shit on her hand. It's very passive aggressive. But every time you go, and then when you move in, you just spray it down. But the first time she'll go like, ew, there's poo on this. The third time she'll go, who could she tell? What is she going to do, go home and go, so I break into this guy's backyard, so my dog shit's in the yard, but she's the crazy person.

So you're just out crazy in the crazy. You like that? You just got to rub a little shit on the handle. Who could she tell? They'll go, what do you mean? So the yard I break into, there's dog shit on the handle. They'll go, why are you going into somebody else's yard? Whose shit is it? My dog. She's not going to know it's her dog's shit, but I do agree, shit on a handle. I think it's perfect karma because every time I wouldn't pick up my dog's poo, I would step in it. Like not his, but it was like...

Like inevitably like, yeah, people who step in shit are people like me who wouldn't pick up their dog. So Zach, here's kind of where we're at. Yeah.

We got a fart machine. We got a scarecrow. We've got a picture of her, which I still really like actually. You just take a photo of that and you put it on the fence. Intimidating. Strange. That's the watcher. That's scary. Yeah. You got a sign that says, caught ya bitch. You got a pesticide, just a warning of what's gonna happen. Yeah. You plant the seed of mystery. So you got like a little Easter egg hunt of signs.

You've got bells on the gate or you've got shit on the handle. Zach, we've thrown you a lot of pitches. We got to get a sense of where you're at. What are you thinking of doing? Floor is yours.

I'm thinking I like Garrett's approaches of doing something to the gate, thinking some bells. The poo gate would be effective, but I don't really want to rub her dog's poop on the handle, so maybe something that resembles poop or take

Taking it a step further from the bells and just kind of rigging up something that looks like an elaborate contraption with a lot of bells on it, just stuff going on on the gate and leaving that to make her question when she walks up to the gate, should I really open this door? I think that's smart. Would you think about putting a sign in there too afterwards if she goes on through? Because if all the lights are off in the house and there's bells, I'm telling you what, if I use this as a dog part, I'm going in. I don't hate it, but I'm going in.

Well, what plan B assign, go ahead, assign or the fart machine, something on the other side of the gate. Should she actually open it? That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Go ahead, Gareth. Why don't we just take, per Jake's pitch, why don't you go pick up a ton of her dog's shit and where she first would walk in at the gate, put it all over there so that she, when she steps in, steps in the lining of her dog's shit. The karma path. Or if they're all in little bags, you know, and it's like...

Look what you did. Because sometimes, like, you're not aware of all the crimes that you commit until you see them in front of you. Like, if there's, like, a little pile of... Can you explain that logic, though, Chloe? Like... You're not aware of the crimes you commit unless you see them in front of you. Like, my boyfriend...

takes a Benadryl every night to go to bed and he's down to half a Benadryl and I'm trying to get him off of this Benadryl. So I was trying to think of like, what if I took all these bowls and filled them with Benadryl so we can visualize the amount of Benadryl that's going into his body. Because it's crazy. He'd be like, that's so much better. Oh, this is going to be great. Yeah, of course. That is really funny.

Yeah, you see the poop. So, Zach, what do you think about the karma thing? You either create a path where she steps in it or you pick it up and put them all by the gate so she's got to see the crime. And hopefully step in it. Chloe's so loud. Those are big steps. Oh, man.

That was? Yeah. I just heard. What do you really heard? How? I don't know. I've never heard somebody sip before. It was good. Am I wrong or wrong? It was literally, I heard. And it's right in my ear. It was like harder than talking. I'm getting my electro. I got to do my, I'm on my, I finished, I cleaned this one out. Oh boy. Zach,

Take us out, man. What are you going to do? We've given you a few more options. Yeah, I think Chloe's on to something. I like her idea. I'm thinking, you know, maybe bag them all up, all the poop, put it at the gate, make her really reflect on what she's doing. If she steps in it at that point, it's in bright colored bags. So that's not really my fault, but it's not like I just put all the poop there maliciously. I agree, Zach. Yeah. And you're going to do the bells too?

I mean, yeah, why not? Do us a favor. Send a photo after you've belled up the door and you've got all the shit there so we can see what you're doing. And then we might need to follow up. I think what's going to happen, if she doesn't ever come back again, we don't need to follow up. But if she pushes past and does it again, we're going to have to follow up. Oh, definitely.

Right? Oh, yeah. Good. All right, Zach, thank you. And make sure you send us that photo so we can see your game plan. But I think this is going to work. I think she's going to see it and just go like, I'm out. But I don't think this makes you weird in the neighborhood. Yeah, I agree. And you've been wronged, by the by. You've been wronged. But you're just saying like, stop shitting in my yard and I'm trying to prevent you without getting weird. But if she keeps going, then we've got to go to plan B and we might have to go a little mystery. We find where she lives and you crap in her yard. We're not going to do that. Maybe. Everything's on the table right now.

You feel good, Zach? Yeah, I appreciate the advice. All right, buddy. Follow up with us. All right. Thank you. Bye, bud. Bye.

You know what's funny? This morning, I do like a sneak also because I think I'm just not quite growing up enough. But like my landlord, like outside of ours, we have all this trash and she's like really into recycling and all this shit. And if I'm too tired, I'll get all my stuff and then I walk across the street to a restaurant and I put it in their dumpster. Ah.

And I did do that this morning. So I relate to this teenager. You're the girl. You're the girl. I was like, it's good insight. I'm too tired. Anyway, coming off really great in this call. You are. What is this room you're in? Thank you. Me? Yeah. Talk about it.

Walk her through it, Jake. You could say dragon? Where are we? Are you waiting? Where are we? This is my little office. Cool. That's Habata, a fake martial art. Keep going.

Jake, why don't you tell her some more stuff and then walk her through the yard super quickly too. I don't want to. I want to ask questions about her. Wait, why is it fake martial art? So I did a pilot years ago with Josh Greenbaum, the director of The Dink. Yes, yes. What a poll I just did. Got us to the movie we made together, Chloe. Awesome, incredible. Jake. Just answer the question, Jake. We had a lot of fun together making Signory. Jake.

Jake, why are you in a goodwill? And so we made it and it was about a, it was a fake documentary because Josh is a documentarian. Yep, famously. What are you doing though, Chloe? What are you doing? Trying to see what the... You had me on the ropes, but what are you doing now? I'm seeing what the black and white, it looks like from far, I'm sure it's appropriate, but like from my angle, I can't tell what I'm, look, the sketch is.

This? Next to it, yeah. That's a gorilla. Oh, okay. Okay. It's a gorilla's face. Why? And then you have a sailor next to you. Facing you as a sailor. Yeah, right next to you. Because they're cool. What is that? What is that? No, don't turn it. Who is that?

Just some guy. Just some guy. He's just a guy I've had since I was 17. I genuinely think Natalie's about to bail you out, Jake. I used to put it right next to my bed and everybody I'd ever bring home would go, please get rid of that thing. What? It used to have a light that came off the top. Okay. But I got it when I was 17. It's traveled with me forever.

It's huge. It's shocking that it was near your bed. Always. It was my light for years. Super strange. In the middle of the night, you'd go like, can I get some water? I'd go, yeah, yeah. He comes on, shines right on his face. All right, let's do it. Oh, Jake. Jake.

I've never seen him head on. Yeah, real. It's worse. It is worse. It is worse. It's the best. Hello. Say it again, Chloe. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I was going to hear my gulp. Anyway, moving on. Now is somebody on. Yeah, I'm here. How are you doing? Good. What's your name, bud? My name is Rusty.

Rusty, how you doing? Cool. It is cool. Doing good. Good. Where are you calling from, Rust? Calling from Utah. Utah. Rusty, does the name Rust work for you? It felt like it definitely did. Absolutely not. It felt like you weren't into being called Wet Metal. I'll take it. Rusty, what are your nicknames? Russ? Rusty. I like going by Rusty or my last name is Scram.

Rusty Scram? Rusty Scram? That sounds like a product for ladders. Rusty Scram. Rusty Scram's a great name. That's incredible. That's one of the best names I've ever heard. Rusty Scram. Sounds like a breakfast special. Yeah. So what is Rusty short for, Russell? No, it's Rusty. Born and given. And what's a middle name that mom and dad gave you? It's a cool boy name.

Rusty is? Yeah. No, I don't have a middle name. You're just straight up on the person's name? You don't need one. Rusty Scram? When you're Rusty? Rusty Scram? What are you going to throw in there that's better? Michael. Rusty Michael Scram? No. So, Rusty, you got any siblings? I do. I have five siblings. I'm the oldest. What are their names? Utah. Utah.

Uh, well, I'm actually calling about, don't say Utah. Utah. Uh, yeah, I'm actually calling about one of my siblings, so I don't know. Okay, great. So we'll just get into it. You got a special guest. You got Chloe Fineman from SNL, Summer of 69 and the Dink. You're in good hands, Rusty. Whoa. Whoa. That's right. Cool boy, Rusty.

Mr. Scram, what do you got? So my issue is I have a sister who just got married maybe six, seven months ago, and she is...

They're just like over the top with PDA. So like, for instance... Really fast, Rusty, really fast. Is anybody watching Love on the Spectrum? I was literally about to say the exact same thing. I immediately thought about Mackenzie. No, is that her name? Mackenzie and her southern gentleman. The sweet gentleman.

It's too much. No. It's too much. He's a little bit pervy. He's a bit much. You know, they've been together for nine months. Yeah, well, he's a sweet guy. He'll do a lot of, yeah, I like that. He's her cowboy sweetheart. I know. And everything she says, he goes, of course I like that. But when he moves in for a kiss, as a dad, I'm a little bit like, my guy. And then her eyes are looking around where she's like, it's still happening. No, no, no.

I'm like, hey, homeboy, I get the fruit tastes nice. Take a step back. If you were there, would you break it up? How would you do it? I would go. You'd get hands in there? I would walk right in between me and I'd go, all right, my sweet cowboy, I think we've had enough sampling. Sick. Rust, back to you. So, Rust, you have not seen it?

And yeah, I'm calling him Rust. No, I haven't, but I get the gist. I get the gist. Yeah, you'll know what it is right away. So what's your sister's name? So I need an alias for her. Mackenzie. Mackenzie, love it. Mackenzie Scram? Mackenzie Scram. Mack Scram. So we can call her Mackenzie? Mackenzie?

Wait, can I ask a dumb question? Yeah, sounds great. Is anyone in your film medium, hey, because then it's like, hey, scram.

Uh, no, no, I weren't that creative. Russ, so you got McKenzie and we'll just call him the sweet cowboy. Yeah. And what kind of PDA are they like tugging mouth or what's the stitch? It's a good question. Yeah. It's like that. Like full tongue. So, so let me give you like, for instance, like a couple of weeks ago,

We're sitting on the couch or like we're, we're all just hanging out as a family playing games, whatever at my house. And sounds nice. She gets, she gets pissed about something. And so she like hangs her hair over his face. And then they like, you can hear little tiny whispers of like, Oh, and then like, like noises and like, Oh, like,

What do you mean? Wait, wait, wait. They're doing like flirty whispers and kind of like bedroom talk. Are you saying that she's making little noises or they're making out? Cousin It. That's kind of a weird...

That's weird. At least it's on the up and up. Wait, are they making out under the hair? You don't have to defend Utah so much. Yeah, relax, dude. Dude, it's fine. Easy rest. We like it. Yes, they are like making out and like you can hear like, I don't know, I try to look away. Like moaning? Does he moan?

Uh, no, not that far. Gosh, no. I might lose my mind. No, but, but like. Rusty, hold on. What age are they? Let me get it. I think I'm getting a sense of this. So your sister and them are getting a little bit much. It's getting a little bit gross. They're in their twenties. They're in their twenties? Yeah. Mid twenties. And how old are you? I am like a little bit older, like upper mid twenties. Okay. So it's a younger sister. I'm 25.

And what does the rest of the family think? We all make jokes behind their back and tease them ruthlessly. Okay. So this is a pretty clean setup, Rusty. I'm going to show you what you need. Hold on. Just keep talking. I'm here.

Okay, so what is this specific? She's gone, Gary. She's gone. She's left frame completely. It'd be amazing if she never came back. What an exit. I'm still here, but I'm gone. All right, hold on. It's one of these. A spray bot. We have a spray bot.

Oh. All right, Chloe, take it away. What are you thinking? You got a spray bottle. You can get these anywhere. You can get them at the dollar store. You can get them at a plant store to water your plant if you're into that. I do it to my dog, and I would just do it if they kiss. I'd squirt them.

By the way, it's not a bad idea. I like it. Case open and shut right there. Oh my God. Agreed. Really? But honestly, Rusty, if you just, if she, they start kissing, you have a spray bottle and you hose them down. Now. Now. Now. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off.

Yeah, it was like for humping. Yes. By the way, if you treated him like dogs humping, that would be... And also, if you're the guy and you get sprayed, it's so humiliating. Like your hair gets damp in one weird zone. You're like a horny dog. It's humiliating.

It's shameful. Like literally at Christmas, they like went under a blanket in the middle of the living room and you can just see like motion. That is absolutely fucking crazy. Yeah, that's disgusting. I mean, I don't think they were doing it, but like. No, I get it. No, not doing it, but still, it's so weird. It's like a dog. This is so validating, guys. This is so validating. My sister and I, growing up. Oh, sorry.

You go, Chloe. It's another story where I come off really bad. Let's hear it. Go ahead. Let's see. Too late. You started. Let's see. My sister and I shared a bathroom growing up, and if we were both home and she was with her boyfriend, I'd hear in the middle of the night, like, whatever. And one night, I was so pissed. I kicked the door open, and I was like, you need to shut the... And then they were just asleep, so I don't know what I had been hearing. Ha ha ha ha ha.

When you say that your parents are fucking and they both go like, ooh. Yeah. You went in the wrong room. No, it wasn't my parents. Oh, no. No. Well, who did you hear? What cheeks did you hear slapping? You know, we're in Northern California. I think it was like trees, maybe. Oh, I understand. I understand. The trees. Yeah. It sounded like human sex. Yeah, it was something. Or maybe they were. They lied, but I kicked the door down. Yeah.

Either way. So, Rusty, what do you think about the spray bottle? The spray bottle's pretty good. But I don't know if it's, like, because we brought it up to them as a problem. How did you, what did you say? Not like, we didn't, like, talk to them about it, but, like, I'll make fun of them to their faces. Yeah. Or, like,

Like, for instance, I'll be like, hey, hey, Mackenzie. I'll be like, hey, remember that one time when you guys were being disgusting PDA in the living room? Oh, wait, that was right now.

mic drop it's not enough yeah or like they asked us the other like just a couple days ago they were like oh do you think RPA is as bad as somebody else's and we're like uh it's I don't think anybody could beat you I think you are you take the case what happens after that

Oh, no. What? No. Yeah, so it's not stopping. After teasing, they just ha ha ha and then they go back. Teasing is not enough. This is a problem. Teasing is not going to get you out of it. Chloe, what is going on with you? Sorry. I'm sorry. I just got to nothing to ignore me.

Chloe, why do you get so close to the screen when you read stuff? You are not that old. You're better at technology than that. I don't think I am. You're doing what my dad did before he passed away with technology. You also earlier called quick time you go. When we were first setting up, she goes, okay, looking for...

Looking for a quick time. Time. Time. You have a roasted, oh my gosh. Well, it's not roasted. It's a mystery to me of what's happening. Well, I understand the phone is like, yep, and then there's something about a computer where I'm like, like the texts are coming. I don't know how to like get that thing off. I got you. You're not as used to the computer. Yeah, not at all. And then, yeah, reading, I have to get close. Exactly.

It's a cry for glasses. Yeah, but it's reminded me when computers were new.

Right. Like, you remember at the beginning of the pandemic and the early Zooms, you'd literally, we used to do a card game. My buddy Baina hosted a game and certain people would come on and it would be so close to their face. I'd have to go like, hey, I don't know who you are, Greg, but you've got to move it back. It's like, I'm in my bed. It is called Zoom. I'm seeing so much of your face. It's such a, and they'd be like, huh, Greg, take the thing.

And just arm's length away. But in Greg and I's defense, like, the screen is this far away. Like, if that was a book, I couldn't read it. Yeah, you're right about that. Well...

There is something to the idea that Rusty just called that roasting, though, because that's not roast. Agreed. Rusty, I think you're going too soft in the paint with this one, and you're the threshold. Utah, again. He's like, I was horrible. I said, darn it. Yeah, so I think you're too soft. I think you guys have created the conditions where what they're doing is like they feel incorrigible in a good way.

we need to go shame. This is full on, like, this has to stop. It's ruining events. Yeah. You could also do, yeah, go ahead, Rusty. The subtle doesn't work. Like, you

You know, even just like, like they've been like on the couch, like noodling or whatever. And it's, and it's like, even like looking at what I'm like, or like dry heat, like fake dry heaving. No, like no, that's not working. Oh, I got an idea. They're proud about it. You got to get the water. How about water? Yeah. What about, what about porn sounds or porn music?

Oh, that's... Right? Yeah, then you just have it on your phone. What is porn music? I'm not a baby, but like, are you like old school? I mean, you go back to, you gotta go old school. There's no music anymore. Right. Right, when they were cinema.

Yeah, they would do star wipes. It was a whole thing. It was way better. Nowadays, of course, there's nothing because it's on those phones. Oh, the kids got to get to it right away, Jake. It's disgusting. But if... I agree, Garrett. I just like a soundtrack. Tease me a little, guys. Come on. I actually just want the soundtrack. Yeah, it's a better thing. I like the music. You and your little weird sailor just listening to porn together. But what do you think about on your phone getting...

Overly exaggerated 70s porn music. Yeah. And at a full volume that's so loud that others can't talk.

So it fully ruins the vibe. If you're all hanging out, they start kissing, it goes like... That's Sanford and Son. But something... Yeah, play the full house theme. Get him. Or the least sexy music imaginable. You do like Chumbawamba. Like what is the least...

The Mrs. Gingerbread song? Oh, my gosh. Wow. What's the Mrs. Gingerbread song? From a caller on this show, a woman wrote a song about her cat. And that's an interesting idea. But what do you think, Rusty, about a song whenever it's on? And by on, I mean they're getting together. Yeah.

Don't say on. Oh, gosh. Utah. Yeah, I don't like that. I dig that. So much Utah. Don't say get it on. That's horrible. Rusty, we could do, we got two options for it, and I think both would work. We've got the spray bottle, or we've got sounds. Or ice. Go ahead. I was thinking you could ice bucket them.

That's interesting. The only problem with that is I don't think he's going to like it in the house. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Could you ever just put it in your mouth and then be like, and just shoot one? Ooh, wait a minute, though. Are you trying to make it more freaky? Yeah, exactly. No, just like, you know, when you like, don't you spit things at yourself? Yes, for sure. People do that. You're acting like I'm crazy. Yeah, easy, Rusty.

Chloe's gesture just now made me think of a whistle. If your whole family could have whistles and you can have the stop it whistles because this is a foul. So you could have whistles. I also think what you could start doing. Keep going, Gary. Sorry. I also think what you could do is

start taking some pictures of this happening and send it to the show and we can start to blur their faces and post it. And this might be a way to subtly that it's shame. Shame. Okay. I got one based off the whistle. Yes. I got, I got one off of the whistle that I know will work. Uh, fart machine.

It will though. But if you're making out, there's nothing that takes you out of the mood more than the sounds of a random fart machine going off. So they're kissing on the couch. Instantly, you just have one of those. Leslie Nielsen used to carry one around with him when he did press. Thank God he did. It's worth a YouTube search. Thank God he did. Yeah.

Yeah. The funniest, but you can get one online very easily. Make it loud. They kind of sound like that. They do that. Remember? It's like, there's that one and another. Yeah. Agreed. Rusty, that'll work. That's a good variance. That'll work for sure. That'll end it very quickly. They're being cute going like, how you little doing bunny, bunny? Yeah.

right over all their talking at a very loud clip

Whenever they do that, the house is filled with farts. So you're going to try the sound recipe? Start there. Yeah. I like sounds. I like spray bottle. Yeah, it's easy. I think you can't go wrong with a spray bottle. You also should just have one in general because you can do your hair. Yeah. Just to like... Yeah, we have a daughter that likes to spray. It's multipurpose. Yeah. Sprayer. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, Rusty, we're getting out. Do the spray bottle, do the sounds, and let us know what happens, bud. Rusty, do you and the family ever call yourselves the Scramily? We got to go. Thanks, buddy. Take care. Chloe, thank you for doing the show. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Chloe. Thanks so much.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelppod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix, and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostyke. Animations by Andrew Strzelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

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