61: Are You Going To Do This Madness?
34:06 Share

Temp check. What kind of summer are we having this year? A family road trip summer, a beach bum summer, or a wake-me-up-when-the-sun-sets summer? With Instacart, choose your own adventure and skip the shopping side quests. Where available, you can get ice cream delivered to your hotel, sunscreen to the pool, or cold brew to your bed.

Well, door, in as fast as 30 minutes. Wherever you find yourself this summer, you can get the goods. Download Instacart for free delivery on your first three orders. Offer valid for a limited time. Minimum $10 per order. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms and fees apply. Summer is supposed to be an opportunity to slow down. But when you look at your kids, you can't help but notice that your kids are growing up fast.

Help them build independence as they grow with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app for families where parents can keep an eye on kids' money habits while kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely. It's the easy, convenient way to raise financially smart kids. Get your first month free when you sign up at greenlight.com slash wondery. That's greenlight.com slash wondery. ♪ Here, here, two, out ♪ ♪ Here, here, two, out ♪

And we are back, Jake. It's our Thursday. Just the Garf and the Jake episode. Just the boys. Just the guys. Because I'll tell you what we've done, Garfman, is we asked people to comment on the YouTube and they did. And we read them.

And what we've kind of got is Mondays are with guests. Thursdays, we just stay home. We have a family day. That's right. We eat in. We eat in. We eat in on Thursdays. And yes, I mean, I think that's very important. Like, we certainly don't feel like...

You know, we want to listen to people. We want to make our own show. And we like the choose your own adventure. Absolutely. And we like doing it like this as well. It's enjoyable. We should also mention before we get into this episode fully that we do have a Patreon. It's here to help pod where we're just starting to kind of load it up with our content. But...

But we're going to do a lot of stuff there. So we're excited. And we also tell us, honestly, as we're going, what you guys want from that, too. Yeah. One of the things that I'm really liking about this podcast and having a lot of fun with, and I talk to Gareth about it a lot, is a lot of times in the Hollywood game, you're dealing with studios and networks and you can't move the needle on a project without having 10 to 15 meetings with 10 to 15 different people. Yeah.

If you guys are on the Patreon and those who've already signed up, we appreciate it. I put some posts on it, but I did it wrong because I was trying to create something where people could write back. Let us know what you would like on it. I think they'd like to be able to write back on your post. I know I did it wrong. I sent it to Kevin and Caitlin. I was like, I think I did this wrong. So I'm not going to be running any of the technical stuff, but-

uh continue to post on the youtube we are reading them we're checking them out we have a group text we're sending to each other uh we're having a lot of fun this episode we're doing something different where we are having a follow-up as our third call but it's a follow-up for one of the calls of this episode yeah we're not gonna say which one we're not gonna say which one no but it's nice to pay off the cliffhanger this one and uh yes it's a cliffhanger because this is uh it's a really fun one this is enjoyable

Um, but yeah, we really, uh, like always appreciate y'all listening or watching us on YouTube. And, um, and if you guys want to see me on the road, do stand up. It's Gareth Reynolds.com. You got to see him. I will be in the Midwest. I standing ovations. Uh,

And a lot of people are yelling and I appreciate it. More Gil on stage. They're not, they're people. I've told you the two things that happen is after the show, people will cut. Where's Gil? Well, I really miss Gil. Things like that. And they will also be like, I emailed with a problem and they'll start pitching me the problem. I'll go, there's a whole Kevin element of this that I'm not just to say to the audience very quickly as Gareth. I really appreciate that. Keep bringing, you're really getting good.

Yeah, thank you. You really are. I've always been good. I'm a very talented and lovely guy. I know, but you're finding yourself. You really are. I appreciate that. And I love how you don't mind shitting where you eat. I've always respected that about you. Oh, you mean in the hotel rooms? Anyway, we really appreciate everything. So everyone, enjoy the show. Without further ado, and enjoy the... I think I messed it up.

Hello. Hello. Whoa. Don't think we're crazy. We detect an accent. We'll get into it. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from? Yes. My name is Zach. I'm 21, and I'm from New Zealand. Crikey. God, you got a great country over there. Zach, you're on with Jake Johnson. Gareth Reynolds, you're on what some people are calling America's number one podcast. Don't look it up. What is going on, you Kiwi? What's happening?

Right. Okay. Yes. I have a bit of an issue. It's a couple of years ago, so it is a while. Sure. Basically, me and my friends were playing some football or soccer, as you call it. Thank you for respecting the best nation. Okay. Well, and they didn't have any public toilets. So I'm guessing you can guess where this is going. Basically, I had to delve into the native bush to...

relieved myself and it wasn't a number one. And now every time we go past any native bush, I'm known as the Shat in the Woods guy. And so basically, I'm just trying to rebrand. Laughter

Wait, okay. So you're in a place, you're playing soccer, there's nowhere to go, you gotta take a shit, and you shit in the shrubs, and now everyone makes fun of you because you're the guy who just shit in the middle. He shit in the woods. And you need a new branded. Yeah, every time. And of course New Zealand is about 90% native bush, so it comes up a lot. So it's just a big part of your life is you're around something that you're getting teased from.

And you need a rebrand. Yeah. I was just wondering, I need a rebrand. Do I have to do something more extreme? Right. So Zach, give us an example of the last time it came up and how it went down. We need to get a lay of the land of your group of friends and what you're living through. Yeah. Right. Okay. So I've had the same group of friends since I was about six. Yeah.

Okay. So this was, you know, so before that, everyone usually has their thing. It just so happens that this has now become my thing. And now, of course, we're adults, so we don't see each other very often. But when we do,

It's, oh, you know, we're on a road trip and they're like, oh, you need us to pull over in the bush here. And you can't get out of this bit. No, it's. I can't. I'm really. And it is funny. Yes. It's a funny bit, but. It is a funny bit. But how do you get it? So this might be a good Gareth call. I got a pitch.

What do you got? It's going to be an uphill battle to lose. Like you said, the only thing you can really do is out-crazy it, but then you're going to be living with that ghost, right? I mean, if you're trying to out-do shitting in the middle of nowhere, what are you going to do, eat your puke? There's no roads left to travel. That's true. I think what you got to do, Zach, and this is wild, is I think you got to try. I can't wait. Jake's going to be like, what's wrong with you?

That you both might be. I think what you gotta do is you gotta set up a rendezvous with your buddies, okay?

and you got to tee it up so one of them is going to have to shit in the bush. So what you're going to have to do is plan some sort of outdoor adventure, and you're going to have to kind of organize it, and you're going to have to come up with some food. So for like your birthday, you say, I want to go camping with the guys. Yes. And then can't walk. You want to go for a long hike. You give everybody X-Lax. You want to go for a long hike. You feed everybody a homemade fruit bar, but you've put some shit and powder in it.

And then one of your buddies, it is wild. And one of your buddies is going to have to shit in the bush. And that levels the playing field because you've now canceled each other out. And if anything, this guy is now the more recent bush shitter. So that's going to get brought up more. Zach, what do you think of this road? And that is.

You see the guys, your next big thing, everyone's in town. You say like, let's have us a hike. Let's go out, do this. And you maybe give one of the guys. Yes. I like that. So that he go to it. So that in the middle of it, they go like, oh fuck, I need to find a bathroom. And you go,

There's bushes over here. And then when they do it, you go, oh, shit in the wood. What do you think of this play? We'll get mentioned if you don't, but what do you think of it? I quite like that play. You do? It's really wild. I like it because there's a couple of members of the group that don't have anything, you know,

that might need to step down to our level a little. And so what you could do then if that happens, when they go like, hey, Zach, why don't you shit in the woods? You'll go like, only if Kirby comes with me. Misery loves company. It really is the play, is that you're just counting on you're going to drown out your sound with another horn. Yeah, that's right. So if you get one or two of these guys to also have to shit on this hike,

you're old news. And then, you know, you could say while they're like, honestly, I feel like I'm going to pop. You go like, hold it in. We're adults now. Or you go, maybe I did it when I was 10 years old, but at my age, I could wait for a toilet and they go like, I honestly, I can't wait. I honestly would even go the other direction. Your goal is to get one of them shitting in the bush. So be sweet about it. That's no big deal. Go take a shit. I did it. Yeah. Ha ha ha. I,

did it and once then when he's done later you're at the pub you're having a few and you let him know hey that was not okay so i gotta say zach i think the garf man might have nailed it

because i also like the really sneaky move of saying like hey man honestly if you have to take a fucking dump who cares and then once once you hear the sounds you know in your head got him so zach are you gonna do this madness i i mean we often go back to the same place yeah okay i'm

I'm perfectly teed up already. So then here's what I, I'm going to double down on this pitch. Cause I know we were about to get out, but I'm going to double down on it. I don't think we need to pitch other stuff. I got an ad to this one. Go ahead. I don't think you give it to one or two. I think you give it to everybody. I like that too. I think you're in a world where everybody's got to take a shit but you. I like it too. Here's why you make it an occasion like your birthday, because the night before you got to go out and you got big,

Big dinner and drinks. Yeah. We want everyone kind of hung over for this. There's a lot going on downstairs. And then I think, yeah, you got to pull the, hey, boys, let's have a healthy fruit bar or whatever it is. Remember in Stand By Me when they all used to make fun of Lardass? Yes. And then Lardass was sick of it. Yes. So during the blueberry, the pie eating competition, he makes everybody barf and everybody's barfing on everybody. Yes. And there's Lardass sitting in the middle just laughing. Happy.

You need to create that situation where all your buddies are. Buddy, let me tell you. And you just sit there as the king. You get one of them shitting, you're home free. But you get five of them shitting. Buddy, you've got a secret everyone takes to their grave and that's what you want. If everybody in the group does it, how could anybody tease you? No, you can't. It's over. It is strength in numbers and that number is two. So, Zach.

Are you going to do this? Because if so, we need a follow-up. And we need further involvement. I'm going to do this. You've given me such a good idea. I haven't thought of it. I'll absolutely be able to convince at least some of us. All we need is one. Yes, we only need one. At least a couple of them. Yeah, we get greedy. We want three, four, but we just need one guy. So, Zach, we're not going to air this until after the follow-up. Yep.

And we wish you the best. Oh, God, do we? Okay. Keep us posted. This is going to be a two-parter, my friend. All right. Good luck. I'll get it done. Godspeed, Zach. Go get them. This is rebranded. Thank you. It's been a pleasure. All right. See you, bud. All right, bud. Good luck. Okay. Bye. See you. Bye.

And we are brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace. Squarespace has so many things to help you build your business. I use Squarespace for my personal website. We built Squarespace for the Suits and Wigs party. Look, they've got

blueprint AI and SEO tools, flexible payments. You could sell your content. There's video collection, client invoicing. You know, I've been with Squarespace long enough to be like, I remember when it was pretty simple, but now you can really, really build up your business online.

It helps you build merch, all these things. So go to www.squarespace.com slash gil sent me to save 10% off of your purchase of a website or domain using the code gil sent me.

And we're also brought to you by Babbel. Jake, we've talked about this before. Babbel is the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Saves you money. You don't need to hire a tutor. It's 10-minute lessons, handcrafted by 200 language experts. Helps you speak another language. So,

I spoke French when I was in high school and all that stuff. And then I had completely forgotten it. So I use Babel and French is coming back. As a matter of fact, the other day I was in Toronto doing a show and talked to a French person from the stage.

Gareth, give us a taste of what Babel has helped you with with your French. Je m'appelle Gareth. J'ai étudié dans l'école française pour deux ans.

Babbel helps. It really is so easy. It does not take very long. You can do it anytime. So here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get 60 percent off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel dot com slash HTH. Get up to 50. No, get up to 60 percent off at Babbel dot com slash HTH. Spell B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash HTH rule and restrictions.

Hello. Hi, can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from, please? Yeah, my name is Luke. I'm 35 and originally from Jackson, Michigan, and I've been in Los Angeles for several years now. Come on down to the studio. Jackson, Michigan. Where in LA are you? What part?

It's kind of the cusp of Sherman Oaks and Encino. Oh, nice. Gorgeous. Luke from, let's call it, Encino. What can we do for you? Yeah, so I need a little help with an event that I've been planning with a few buddies. And we've got the theme. The theme is kind of the main point. And we've got the location. But right now, there's only three or four of us really...

attending and I'm trying to get some more people on board and I'm wondering if there isn't anything else that I'm not thinking of that could make this event a little bit more fun because I want it to be the first of I want to be the first annual respect. So you're starting you're trying to create a buddy tradition.

Yes. Do you have the event idea? Yeah, so it's called Suits and Wigs Night. Interesting. It's going to be where, you know, just a group of gentlemen put on their finest suits and then a silly ass wig and go bar hopping. Luke, how did...

How did this idea, I feel like I'm talking to Steve Jobs about a home computer, but how did this idea pop into your head? Yeah, well, it was in the garage. You and Waz. Yeah, I think I started, I had the idea because a couple of years ago, I went out for Halloween as Tommy Wiseau from The Room. You know, yeah.

And so I was already looking ridiculous. And I remember being at the bar and this girl was kind of into it. And the wig was strangely enough, you know, with that kind of armor of silliness.

uh, you know, gave a, I think another little layer of confidence. And I have another friend that organizes an annual, um, uh, bar crawl, uh, but it's, it's 10 bars and it's, it's a lot. He already has his own thing. I thought that's fun, but I, you know, I thought maybe suits and waves night could be a new event and, you know, hopefully it only grows in popularity in the, in the years to follow. But I want to make this first one really legendary.

OK, I like and so basically you want to know how we can help you build a groundswell and get more people involved in this. Yeah, I mean, and I've got, you know, some people are like, oh, you know, I would do it, but I don't have a suit or a wig. And I've got like four or five silly wigs in my in my trunk, you know, in your trunk. OK.

What do you do for work, Luke? No, in my, you know, in like a little trunk. You know, I mean... Oh, you've got a wig trunk. I thought it was weird for a minute, like you had him in your car, but you just have a wig trunk in your garage. Oh, he lives in L.A. Not going to lie, I definitely have five to six wigs at my place right now. I mean, you can pretend to tease. I'm having fun.

I've got a weird attic. The truth is I want to meet up and do a wig train. I definitely have a little drawer in my attic of very embarrassing- We're all sad weirdos in LA. We're all clowns.

So, Luke, I got to say, I think this is pretty clean. I think suits and wigs is a phenomenal idea. I think you have to if this is your thing, I think you might need more than four wigs. I think you should say wigs are provided. People need to get their own suits. I think you invite men and women.

So what gathers a suit is a sports jacket and a tie. That's it. I like that. So you could wear, if it's a hot summer night and they're like, hey, I don't want to hop around bars and wear a suit all night. But what I will do is I'll wear shorts, a t-shirt, a bow tie and a jacket and a goofy wig. So the dress code could be more chill.

I think you open it to any gender who gives a fuck as long as you're there to party. I agree. And the first one, you don't worry about building numbers. So if you're opening up a restaurant, don't worry about filling every table that first night. Worry about making sure everybody at every table loves it and tells all their friends. I agree. I think here to Jake's point.

It is the first one. I mean, if you talk about any of these things that become events out of the small out of the gate, they're not really events. So that's right. As far as how you promote it. I mean, you're kind of just going to have to go word of mouth. I would say you could probably get more people on board. I mean, shit, I don't know. Maybe you put up a couple of flyers. I don't know. Maybe blast your email or something like that. Why don't we let's I mean, let's be real for a second. We're making a podcast.

Yes. So why don't you start an Instagram, Luke? Tell us what it is. We will promote it. Why don't you set a date for the first annual? Yep. And set a bar in your area where you're going to start it. And when. And when we will run this beforehand. Give you a promo. And the only requirement is you reach out to the social media.

You go to the first annual Suits and Wigs happening at, you know, what neighborhood do you want this to be at? Well, so right now we do already have the date and locations. It's actually next Wednesday the 21st. So we can't quite help on that. It's a little fast. Wednesday the 21st? We're open to delaying it. It's already been pushed back several months because we didn't want anyone to think it was like a Halloween thing or a holiday party thing. You know what I think you do, Luke? Yeah.

You find an annual date that makes sense with wigs and suits. I think push it. Yeah. Push it. Give us a minute. We'll promote it. Yeah. You'll get I mean, who gives a shit, right? Yeah. Yeah, we can do that. I would pick a new day. Memorial Day weekend. Great. Yes. What do you think of that?

Uh, we can do that, yeah. Why don't you just- you come up with that date, but get- this way, I mean, we can help you out. I do have an alt pitch. I love suits and wigs. Okay. But I think a way to maybe make this a little bit more of an event

Is year three for suits and wigs? You know what I mean? We've done it. What if every year you're pitching something that is two things that don't go together as an outfit and you kind of unveil it a few weeks before the next annual party day, such as such as nuns with swords, such as doctors with capes, such as gymnasts with fangs. Yeah.

But every year you reveal your kind of oxymoronic costume idea. And the first one is wigs and suits. Yes. But next year, drum roll, everybody. This year, nuns with swords. And, you know, what do you think of that? I got to say, I put the paper down because Garfman just hit a grand slam and it's the bottom of the ninth and everyone's cheering. I might be holding the bat warming up. Now I'm thinking about going to the bar.

I don't have to work with a wig. I mean, what do you think about this year? It's a suit. It's a wigs and suits, but every year on that same time, it's a different one. And part of the fun is if you miss it, you're not in the photos. Cause you create an Instagram. You got to take a ton of photos, but the idea of, you know, nuns with swords, uh,

You guys walk into a bar, it's going to make the entire bar get excited. I love that idea, especially keeping it fresh every year, coming up with different suggestions from the group maybe. Okay. Are you into pushing it a little bit and finding a date so that we could push this out first and you create an Instagram and we'll tag it and just to see if you can get some other LA people. Yeah, a few more people.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, what do you think? Actually, hold on. What do you think about creating a website that we do through Squarespace that we create for you and we create your first website that you post along with it? We will get a user friendly. We'll get Squarespace connected. We'll build one really fast and we'll send it to you. What do you think of that?

Oh, I love that. I love that, guys. All right. Well, Luke, it sounds like we've got the idea for you. Yeah. And it sounds like we're closing in on the idea. Last part of it, you're invading a bar. You guys are party cicadas. Unfortunately, that's just what it's going to be. Every year, you also have a suitcase that's

that has three extra outfits of everything that everyone else is wearing, that if you're at the bar, someone seems like they like what they're seeing, but they're a little overwhelmed, guess what? You can join the party because we got an extra sword and an extra nun outfit for you, Ralph the Regular. Okay. All right, Luke. And Luke, that is your job. You are the host? Yes. So you have extras for people. Heavy is the head.

Yeah, I was already planning on bringing extra wigs just in case. I love it. Well, there you go. Just in case indeed. And, you know, in specific bars to kind of create

you know, a variety of vibes, you know, where we move from maybe a sports bar to a little bit more upscale. That's all going to be in your blueprint. Let me tell you one of my favorite industry terms. Don't talk past the clothes. Hey, Luke, thanks for calling. We appreciate you. We will help you promote this party. We're excited for suits and wigs. Thank you for calling, buddy.

Thank you, guys. Love it. Love you. And Jake, we are brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscription, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. We've talked about this before. We've both had multiple things we did not know we were still paying for. That's why we're here.

that's part of the business model of some companies where they're just like, Hey, sign up for a week. You'll be good. And then like two years later, like without in mind, sign up to our Patreon. We're never let rocket money call you out for it. So rocket money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of five

million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. And you could just use that on our Patreon when using all of the app's features. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash help. That's rocketmoney.com slash help. rocketmoney.com slash help.

This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

With every qualifying purchase, Dell will donate to ComputerAid, who equips solar community hubs with tech and AI literacy skills to empower remote, displaced, or disconnected communities around the world. This is your chance to empower people globally through AI access and digital opportunity while upgrading your tech now powered by Snapdragon X series processors for game-changing performance and to power efficiency.

Help Dell make a difference. Shop AI-ready PCs and get free shipping on everything at dell.com slash deals. Purchase any PC monitor between $715.24 and $911.24, and Dell will donate $1.75 for each eligible product within your purchase to ComputerAid, capped at $1.2 million total. For details and restrictions, go to dell.com slash deals.

Hello. Hi. This is a follow-up, and Gareth and I do not know, we don't remember which one it is, so can you say your name, and can you remind everybody of the call?

Right. Yeah. My name is Zach. And I was the one who I was the one who shed in the woods. Yes. Yes. Yes. Take over. So, Zach, you and your friends, when you were younger, you were at like a soccer field or something like that. Are you New Zealand?

Yeah, New Zealand. New Zealand. And you had to take a shit, so you went off near—there was nowhere to go to the bathroom, so you just took a shit in the wild, basically. And it has followed you in your friend group forever. It's kind of become this stigma with you. You're the guy who took a shit over there. You kind of can't get away from it. Was there a nickname or anything like that, or am I just pining for that? Mm.

No, no, no. No nickname. Zach, what was our advice to you? I remember. I know you do. Your advice...

Your advice was I had to make them shit themselves as well. You have to make them take a shit in the wild to get it off of you. And so, Zach, the floor is yours. Walk us through what has happened since our call. What did you do and where are we at? And take your time. Gareth is very excited. I need a little bit of background. I have a friend who is...

a police officer and I found that it is extremely illegal to give people laxatives without them knowing. Okay. Well, that's, yeah. And so we, um, we had to scrap that. Damn it. I am. Okay. We had to get, we had to get more creative. Um, what'd you do? So what did I do? Um, allegedly, um,

By the way, everything in our podcast is allegedly. All title. Yeah. Allegedly with Garrison Jake. Yeah. Okay. So allegedly this is maybe what somebody named Zach did, but who knows? Yeah.

That might not even be my name. Who knows? Zach, you're edging us. Take us to the promised land. By the way, Zach, that might not even be your accent. You might be from the Bronx. He's from Kentucky. Tell us, Kentucky, what'd you do? By the way, Zach, let's really fast. Let's hear your Southern American accent. Go ahead. Three, two, one. Go ahead. Okay. It's not good. Three, two, one. Go ahead.

Really good. Wow. Wait, hold on. Let's hear it. Let's hear a partner. I allegedly gave you some laxatives with your southern accent. Three, two, one. Let's go. Partner, I allegedly gave you some laxatives. Not bad, actually. All right, Zach, floor is yours. What happened allegedly? Now we don't know what country you're from, what your name is. You could be anybody.

So we have our trips often and we went back to the promised land actually. Okay. So the place where it happened. Right. And I offered to cook one night. Good. Because I'm so kind. Wait, you took Coke?

Cook. Cook. No, I... Oh, you... I thought you said I took Coke one night because I'm kind and I'm like... By the way... I've never had a guy who does Coke call themselves kind for blowing lines. By the way, you want to get someone... He's like a degenerate. You want to get someone taking a poop, give him some Coke. Allegedly. Yeah. Okay, so you decided to cook one night. Okay? Yeah. Yeah. And I almost didn't even have to do anything to it because I'm just not a very good cook. So... But...

Maybe I just did it a little worse than usual. And we were just about to go back to the field to play football again. So it was, it worked out so much better than I could have imagined, actually. I got three of them. Wait, wait, wait. What did you cook?

I cooked. This is the weirdest horror movie I've ever been part of. I feel like I'm talking to Buffalo Bill. Okay. I got three of them. So what did you cook? I just cooked some sausages and some meat patties.

Okay, so you cooked a bun, you filled your friends with meat, and this was the same day that you were going to go play some soccer, basically? Allegedly, did you put any laxatives in? I'm not saying you did or you didn't, but could there have been a laxative in the mix? Not in the meat, but I cooked the meat good, but then they weren't expecting the dessert. What was the dessert? And I made...

I made some brownies. Oh, okay. So you brought up the whole thing with the cop because maybe the brownies were just bad brownies. Maybe the eggs were weird. They were. I'm not a baker. I'm just not a baker. Okay, so you made some meats and brownies. You then everybody. And then his friends made some meats and brownies. And then you're going to go play football. And what happened, Zach?

So we get to the location. Still no public toilets, thankfully. And about 20 minutes in, a couple of them start feeling a little bad. Start feeling a little up to it. Weird. And obviously they start making jokes about it because this is the place where it happened to me. And what kind of jokes were they making, Zach? Do you remember? Oh, maybe it's just the place. Maybe it's cursed.

Oh, and what are you thinking? What are you thinking while this is happening? I'm thinking, you have no idea. You have no idea. Okay. And within the next five minutes, there were, you know, we were half a group. Really? So you really had three go off and have to take wild shits in the place that gave you your problem from the beginning?

Absolutely. It's one of my greatest success stories. Hold on. Can I say something, Garth? Yeah. Sometimes our show is more Jake heavy. Sometimes it's more Gareth heavy. Sometimes it's more the guest heavy. This is a Gareth call. Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.

This is why I got so excited. But sometimes when one of us will do a pitch and it'll work, we'll laugh after and go like, I wonder if that's going to happen. This is a Gareth Reynolds special. You got three guys taking dumps in a wood right where you did. It's gratifying. This is a big win for our show. It's disgusting, but a big win. Listen, again, we are, like I said, the one up.

We're the Ghostbusters. The room might be demolished, but we're going to try to trap whatever we can. So, Zach, at any point, are they like, what is going on? I mean, three of them taking a shit on the same event. It's quite a coincidence. Agreed. Are any of them... When the dust is sealed, they do ask, okay, well, you know, what's going on? And what do you say?

I said, I don't know, maybe I'm just not... I'm not a baker. Maybe I...

They're pretty sure I did something to the brownies, but it's all allegedly. Of course it's allegedly. You've told us. No, no. All he's told us is that he's not good at baking. He's sure not. I'm not. No, you tried your hardest. He sure did. I tried my hardest. I had followed a recipe. Yep. You know, might not have been a good recipe. And so Zach, sorry about that. And so Zach. We're all sorry.

Is your nickname gone? Have we solved the initial problem? I am pleased to say that nobody likes to talk about it anymore. Well, here's what's great. Here's what's great. Even if there is a little controversy over this in your group, doesn't matter. We are where we are. There are now four people who shit in that field.

And you're just one of them. You're in a community now. Yes. I'm just one of them. I'm the trade center, really. You are. You are the OG. They're just copycats. So I got to say...

You know, again, we've made this very clear. The advice might not be right. Yes. It might not be good. Right. Right. But we are going to try to help solve the problem. And it feels like on this one, Zach, your problem has been solved. We're ringing the bell.

It has been solved. It's crazy. I mean, we have framed it as drunk uncles at the bar, and I don't know if there is a more apropos version of that. He cooked his buddies sausages and meats and brownies. Three guys in the middle of a game went like, I got to take a dump. And he's sitting there going like, victory is mine because he's no longer the guy in the group of friends who took his shit in the woods. You are now in a group of friends where a big...

A big chunk of you guys have taken a shit in the same woods. Jake, can you imagine going out with a friend group and someone there is cooking you sausages and feeding you brownies before you go play a sport?

There's so much I can't relate to on this one. And this is why I say this is a Garf Reynolds special day. Let's just say this, Zach. We're obviously very happy that this worked out. We did get rid of the problem. We're here to help, and we actually did. And...

We're just very happy that you have, you've come out of this and more proud we could not be. In closing, Zach, legally, is there anything you want to say about the brownies in case your friends hear it? I'm really sorry, guys. I thought I was better at cooking brownies. Fair enough. That is the official statement. He's just don't eat his brownies. He's bad at cooking them. Zach, we appreciate the call to your group of friends.

Zach's no longer the guy who shits in the woods. I think you all are. Yeah. You've got a gang. You've got a gang. All the best, Zach. Thank you for the call. All right, bud. See ya.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKean. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.