74: He Just Lost His Wife and Dog with David Cross
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Sign up today. We're here to help. He's liking the headphones. The poster is behind you if you need a script. Oh yeah, Gareth Reynolds and Jake Johnson at the microphone. Caller, you're on the air. We're here to help.

We are back, Jake. We have a great guest. We really do. You and I kind of let him know immediately how important this guest was in our comedy careers. I am not underselling the fact that

our guest David Cross made me kind of see the world of comedy I wanted to start doing when I first got to college. And that's Mr. Show, right? Yeah, Mr. Show was like transformative. I feel exactly the same way. Back in the day when you would get a VHS tape that someone got off of HBO of Mr. Show and you would be like, man. It felt like I think the way people talk about SNL in the late 70s, early 80s, where they were like, oh, this is cool.

Yes. Like when I was growing up with SNL, I always loved it. I loved the Phil Hartmans, the Dana Carvey's. I thought they were so funny, but it didn't feel like punk rock and cool. It just felt like so funny. It was like a videotape viral. I mean, it sounds so old. You're totally right. People would give you a videotape and you and your friends would be like,

we are going and now we're in on it yes totally it was very and i know all the sketches like we could have gone on and on um so he's great and uh and and helpful and voice of an angel yes and well he's also got a his own podcast called senses working over time also at head gum a head gum uh production

I was on that. Check it out. He's got some great guests. He has a lot of fun. David is unthinkably funny, and he's worth a listen. And Jake, I have, I mean, look, the show's evolving. We're trying. We admit that the show is, it's a growing piece. We're never finished. It's alive, Garth. Which is what I love. It's alive. It's alive. Attaboy. Which is why I think we call our guests, are you ready?

Yeah. This came to me on a plane nap. Oh, today? Yeah. Oh, this is hot off the presses. This is hot off the plane presses. So you have a name for what our guests will be or what the callers? Our guests. Okay. So our Monday guests. So when we intro them, we go, like David's on, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. David's here. I go, hey, all right, you got Jake as always. You got Gareth. We're here to help you. But today we also got, and the name of this person is our guest helper.

Wow. Good setup. Yeah, no, I think that it's good. I mean, I don't know. That was the realization on the nap time? No, hold on. I think they are a guest helper. Do me a favor. Can you reset? Yes. Because I kind of feel the energy. Okay, yes. I don't know when I feel it. No, you're talking about Kevin's energy. No, I'm talking about the energy overall in both of your areas. Okay.

Now question before we do it. So I don't really think I have one question before. I don't think I'm opening. It's not kind of one of those things. It's more of a statement. Please let us have a question. All right. One each. How would you like the reaction to that to be? All right, Kevin. Did you hit turbulence during this idea? Like wake up from a dream? Yeah. And how much drink? I have a question. I have a question to your questions. Yeah. Do you like to hurt friends? No. Okay. No.

Today, we're welcoming our guest helper, David Cross. Yeah! Yes! Here we go! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a great guest helper, David Cross, from Senses Work and Overtime. Enjoy the show! How's this? Mic check! Check! Check! Mic! Check! That's pretty good. Thank you. Hello. How are you doing? Oh, hey. Hey, you're on with David Cross. David Cross.

David, I'm sure you don't know the intro necessarily of the show, but if you want to take a stab at it, or I could do it, it's up to you. What's the name of the show? It's called We're Here to Help. The poster's behind you if you need a script. We're here to help. He's liking the headphones. The poster is behind you if you need a script.

Oh yeah, Gareth Reynolds and Jake Johnson at the microphone. Caller, you're on the air. We're here to help. Holy shit. Is that right? Is that what it is? That is exactly it. Do we use that as an alt at the beginning? That was gorgeous. We might have to. We might have to.

If we have the rights. Well, the cat's out of the bag. You have Jake, you have Gareth, and we have an awesome guest, someone who Jake and I are huge fans of, the host of Senses Working Overtime and many other projects, obviously. David Cross is joining us. And a cat. I'm a cat. Yeah, and a cat. Yep. David is a cat, and there'll be no questions about that.

Can we get your name, your age, and where you're calling from, please? Yeah, I'm from Minnesota. That's obvious. Sam. Okay. Sam is my name, and I'm 42, about. Wow. Sam, you sound, I gotta say, you sound around 44 or 45. Is that, are you fudging the numbers on us, or is that...

I stopped counting about seven years ago, so I'm not really sure, honestly. Well, I disagree because you know that it's seven years ago. Yeah.

So it sounds like you did. You can't fight that early, but David is right. Sam, if we have to pick up, I mean, David is right, technically. Okay, Sam, 42, Minnesota. There's a slight accent I detected. What are you calling about? What can we help you with today? Well, I've been working at the same company now for around 20 years. And for much of that, I've been having lunch every day, noon to one, with the same couple co-workers. And we get along great. You know, great chemistry. They laugh at

my jokes. Sometimes I laugh at their jokes. It's a really good dynamic. Sure. Recently, a couple months ago, this new guy, I'm just going to call him Eeyore to protect his privacy. You're calling him Eeyore? He started sitting with us. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't want to say his real name. Sure. It's a crazy fake name, but keep going. He's

He's a real negative person. He brings the conversation down about two octaves. We just don't know what to do about it. He complains about his boss. He complains about work. He complains about the 401k. He complains about the lack of bonuses that we get or the poor raises every year. And it's just, we don't want to talk about work at lunch. We just want to have fun, share memes, tell jokes, have a good time. But this guy, he's just like...

constantly saying stuff that just brings us down. It's just a real, he's a real Debbie downer. Oh, man, I would be right next to him like we need a union. Yeah. So Sam, you eat lunch with the same group. You're having fun. You guys have been doing this for 20 years. This new kid, Eeyore comes to the group. He's really changing the vibe. Is that where we're at? Yeah.

Yeah, he's just like completely bringing us all down. Has anybody addressed it at all, even in a kind of a passive aggressive way or just kind of brought up the constant negativity? With him, yeah. I mean, some members have kind of got heated when he starts complaining. They say, you know, you got to stop talking about work. We're at lunch here. But he just...

he still shows up every day and we didn't invite him. He just kind of started having lunch with us. He must've heard us laughing and thought, Oh, this is a good group to hang out with and bring down. So where did Eeyore used to sit?

I think he used to eat at his desk, but then he thought, yeah, I'm going to go make some friends. So this is going to be hard because what we're going to do is we're going to pitch on how to alienate the guy who's a weirdo looking for friends. I kind of wish Eeyore was calling, you know? Yeah. Because we are now, we're the bullies. Sam, I hate to say it. You don't seem like it, but you guys are the cool table. Dave, go ahead. All right. I got an idea that is not bullying, but perhaps he'll take a hint or something. But-

If you guys predetermine each day at lunch, or, you know, what...

the day prior, you guys should have some sort of kind of game or something that isn't just people sitting around talking about their day or talking about this and that. So something that will preoccupy all of you, like this is a bad example, but dominoes or something that three, four, five people can play so that you're focused on this thing, even if it's cards, poker, whatever the thing is, apples to apples, I don't know, but something that

It won't allow for his negativity to get in there. And if it if he's trying to shoehorn it in, he'll realize this isn't working and maybe he'll be dissatisfied and go fuck up somebody else's day. Yeah, which is really your best case scenario probably is for him to go go to pollinate at another table.

Hey, Sam, so is the question how do we get Eeyore out of the table? Or what's your exact question we could help you with? Because we got the setup. Eeyore's annoying, but what's the official question? Yeah, we just don't want to come right out and say don't sit with us because, you know, we're fairly nice people. But we don't want him to sit with us. We want him to go somewhere else or just, you know. Right.

And we thought about switching up our lunch times. Let's start meeting at 11. And then when we get up to leave, he'll come and see us leaving and kind of get the hint. But we just don't want to come right out and say, you know, you're not welcome here. Sorry, it just isn't working out. I got a pitch. Okay, go. Negative times a negative is a positive, correct? Sure, I think. It is. Okay. So here's what I say you do. Next time he comes to the table, you out negative him.

Before he sits down, you each have three complaints. When he sits at the table, Sammy, you're bitching. The other guy's bitching. The other guy's bitching. So you try to out bitch him so he does not have a social role. If he's kind of a weirdo who just wants to sit at his desk, he comes. His role at the table is to go like, can you believe the 401k's?

And then whatever he says, you go, yeah, we just talked about that. Exactly right. And you go, we're there. And then you could go like, well, what else? And then when he goes like, well, how about the vacation? You go, hold on. And somebody goes like the vacation. Do all his bitches so that he goes, I just didn't have much to say at the table. You take his role away from him so that he then has to be the positive guy.

Yeah, we could give that a try. He might out negative us. Well, let's keep going. Then you start bitching about permafrost. Yeah, I hate permafrost. But what do you think of that as an idea of going negative on top of his negative? And if he starts going negative, you just steamroll and talk over him. So he has to go like, fuck, these guys are these guys bummed me out.

I like that. I got another one. How about this? The next time he bitches, right? One of you just takes the napkin, wipes your mouth clean, throws it down and goes, I just can't handle this anymore and walks away emotional. And then the rest of you go, look, Tom's going through a really tough time. So we're trying to we're trying to keep it light around lunch right now. Then the next day, see if he comes over. He realized he can't do that anymore because of one of you, not all of you.

Or one of you take plan two sick days, right? And then you say, oh, you know what? Gary quit. He was inspired by what you had to say and he quit and he's he and his family, they're looking for work. Times are tough, but great job. Yeah, you've really. So we've got some options before we get to you on this one, Sam. I

I got one more. Go ahead. All right. He starts doing it. One of you makes the shush mouth lips. Wait, who starts doing it? ER starts going, man, the 401k. One of you does the shush mouth and points to the ceiling. Like they're listening. Yeah, but actually go plant something. Go to Radio Shack. Minnesota's the last state that has Radio Shack. Go to Radio Shack.

It's one of the largest economic drivers in Minnesota. Go to Radio Shack and get a mic-looking thing. Put it up there. A place that nobody would have really noticed. And then do Garrett's. That's a fun pitch. That's a good one. Because then he's going to go like, huh? And then you go like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Derek.

- They're everywhere. - And either he's gonna go like, "Oh fuck, I need to be at my best behavior." Or he's gonna go, "These guys are nutty." - Yes, yes. - Either way, he's not gonna like it. He's gonna go, "This group is nutty." Or, "I gotta change my vibe. "I'm gonna pretend to be positive, "because I don't want the cameras to see me." - It's either big brother or he's like, "You're out of your mind." - Either way, your lunch just got better. - Yeah. - Sam, where are you kind of at? Me too. So Sam, where are you kind of at with these ideas?

He's the kind of guy in company meetings will raise his hand to complain to upper management. So I don't think the mic idea, he would probably actually start talking more into the mic. Well, that's going to be funny for you guys then. Yeah. Then it's a bit entertaining. He's talking to us. The ceiling.

It does get funnier if he thinks he's talking to the boss through the ceiling. But what else? So keep going, Sam. I do like the idea where we just, you know, say, we can't be negative at this table. You know, Joe is going through a really tough time. He just lost his wife and dog. Well, let's...

Boy, that's gilding the lily, I think. Why don't we start with the dog? Dog or wife. I don't know if you need both. Dog and wife. What happened? Were they in a car crash? It was a crosswalk. We know how much he loved his dog. Yeah. You can't be negative. He lost his wife, his dog, every relative on both sides of the family. Switch it up. Just go, he lost his dog.

also his wife but the dog is really his house exploded last night he came into work after his wife died yeah the guy loves the company his dog ate his wife and then uh had digested a million times so sam do you think you're gonna would you then pull him aside before lunch and say like hey man we just got to tell you we got to keep pot lunch is really positive yeah yeah i would do the dramatic walk away i would find the best actor of the group which it

Sam, I love you. I don't know if it's you. But find the best actor of the group and say the second he starts harping for a minute...

The napkin wipe, the throw down, and I can't do this today, and the walk away. What do you think, Sam? Are you going to do it? And the rest of you clean it up. Yeah, I think that would be a good plan B if the first one doesn't work out. And I think I can even- Hold on, pal. What is the first one? What is plan A? Plan A was just to tell him about the dog and the wife. Oh, okay. Let's let him win here. So you're going to start there. If that doesn't happen, then a guy's going to dramatically throw his towel down and say his wife and dog died. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, Sam, we're going to get out of here. We hope you do that move. And what we've learned on this call is that David has the voice of an angel. An angel. So is there anything? I might have just done our intro. Can you sing us out with any last advice, David? Sam, we were here to help. We hope it worked. If not, goodbye.

Thank you, Sam. Take care. All right. I'll give your advice a try. Thanks, guys. And we are brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace. Squarespace has so many things to help you build your business. I use Squarespace for my personal website. We built Squarespace for the Suits and Wigs party. Look, they've got

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You got the voice of a goddamn angel. I just go back to how has nobody just gone, hey, dude. Yeah, I know. That would be, I mean, completely what. That's the first thing you would do. In Minnesota, though, they're like, just tolerate it. Die slowly inside. They're on. Oh, hello, caller, are you there? We're not talking about the last call. We're focused on you. Hi.

Hi, how are you? Hi. Well, welcome to the podcast. You have Jake as usual. You have me as usual. And you have the amazing David Cross, host of Senses Working Overtime. Yeah, you like that? You're tickled already. So are we. I'm so tickled. Yes. Well, listen, we're pretty much guaranteed success. We've already knocked one problem right out of the park. Have you seen the documentary Tickled?

I'm in that. Are you? Very quickly. Oh, wow. It's amazing. I think it's crazy. What's the premise of it?

It's one of those great documentaries. And man, we'll get to you in one second. Just a pin. It's one of those great documentaries where it starts out as one thing and ends up like what? There's so many moments in the absurdity. It's crazy. Truly. Yeah, it's great. The tone is hard to even explain. And you're really in it? Just quickly, because we the dollop did an episode on it.

And that prompted David Ferrier, the director, to end the interest that was generated from that episode made him be like, oh, I'm going to keep following this. So he just plays a snippet at the beginning of us talking about... I love a documentary that changes premise. Yeah, it's like in that kind of capturing the free pins way. It's a documentary about...

Party clowns. And then you go like, no, no, no. Second half turns. It is a threat. But also using that as an example with the title tickled, I do feel like this will be less fun in the second half. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's bonkers. Yeah. You know how tickling sometimes hurts too? Yes. That's the back. All right, let's get to our guest. Can we get your name, please? Yes. My name is Larissa. Larissa. Where are you calling from, Larissa?

I'm calling from Missouri. Missouri. About how old are you? 39. 39. And when's the big birthday to get to 4-0? It's August 25th. You going to do anything fun? I'm going to be moving to New York. Yeah. Right before it. So, yeah. I think so. That's a big move. That's a good move. So, 40, you said, fuck Missouri. I'm going to New York. And you're going to Buffalo. Yeah. All right. Detroit, New York. False. False.

Utica. I'm going to represent. I'm going to represent. I'm going to Albany, right? Big city. Larissa, what are you going to do in New York? I am a writer, so I'm going to write and probably work a bunch of other jobs. Do you know where you're, what area you're moving to?

Not Albany. I'm going to, I'm going to move to New York city. Do you know what borough? What part of New York? Well, I'm subletting from an old friend from college. So I get to live in the East village. Oh, nice. And then probably Brooklyn after that. The village is nice. You'll be able to walk everywhere. It's a really nice start. All right, Larissa. I'm thrilled. You should be. It's a big move. Well done at 40. What is the, what's the question today? Well,

Well, my question is actually, I'm from Chicago land and I'm writing a story about a phenomenon called the Chicago rat hole. I don't know if you know about this. The Chicago rat hole. There's a neighborhood called Roscoe village on the North side of Chicago. Okay. You know, and it's a little bit sleepy and cute and always has been. And they have had for like 20 years,

a rat hole or squirrel hole indentation in the ground. Like a rat died in the cement. It looks literally, we're looking at it right now. Wait, it's just one. It looks like one big rat. It's a rat hole in the cement ground.

But it looks like a cartoon. Yes. Like a cartoon ran through a wall. Yes. Like a Looney Tunes rat. It ran through the ground, but it just looks like a kind of a fat-bottomed rat with a big tail. Yeah. Okay. Which is what you were called when you were in Chicago, wasn't it? Still am. Fat-bottomed rat. With a big tail. With a big tail. I wish.

I might get told with a big nose. I've never been told that. I mean your story. Okay, good, good. Okay, so keep going. We're intrigued. So my problem is I posted on my social media looking for sources to comment on it. And I have a source that was like, not everyone looks it, like cryptically. I guess he lives very near it.

And basically he said the raffle belongs to them and everyone that's coming to it is an asshole. And like he hates it for the same reason the rest of the world loves it. He's because he lives there. He's upset that it's going to bring more people. Yeah, it's going to turn it into a living above cheers. The question is, how do I respond to this guy? Ah.

OK, so then he then emailed you this. OK, the email is. Yeah, yeah. Please don't publish this article. We don't want to give it any more air. It's not dying down. It gets worse and worse with every news story, article, et cetera. I understand you're just doing your job, but we don't want to tell our side of the story. We've.

told our side and nobody listens. Lots of people think the rat hole is great because it brings quote people together, but it was already bringing people together. It was a cute little feature of our community for decades. Now that it was discovered, it's being used to sell t-shirts and Etsy goods and trashing the community. It was already a part of, of all the events, ads posted, et cetera, that have taken place over the last few weeks. Only two groups asked us if they could film or post something. That's it.

Everybody else just poured alcohol and garbage all over a family neighborhood because they thought it was funny. Oh, they're giving alcohol to the rat and garbage to the rat. It's like, to my homies. They're giving to garbage. Putting trash on the sidewalk for the rat. Pieces of shit. We've been cut by broken bottles while cleaning up our yard. Come on now. Our families are woken by people chanting at night. To the rat. Screamed at by people drinking in front of our house, forced to pick up soggy food so it won't attract more rats and physically throw up.

Oh, no.

There are about a dozen pieces of trash and ads. Respect him for admitting some of it's cute. Yes, he admits some of it's cute. And we finally heard rat shrine, which is something I didn't think I'd hear for a while. So what we ask is to take pictures and move on. Go drink at a bar down the street. Support the community even. Parenthetical. I don't even really mind the coins because they don't rot, smell, block the sidewalk or make noise. He likes when you leave money. Yeah, like a rat.

That's what people used to do for years and we loved it. We could sit in our house and hear people giggle and we all knew they discovered the rat. But now everyone has discovered the rat. So the only thing left to it is to exploit it for social financial gain. So please don't publish this article. Don't glorify the trashing of a community. Just move on. End of official statement. Yeah. OK, now we got it a little bit. All right. David, first thoughts.

Well, I would suggest is, hey, buddy, whatever his name is, you know, hey, I am going to publish this. It is not going to be a glorification. I plan to talk about the negativity that some people in the neighborhood feel. Also, I'm moving to New York in August. So suck it. Suck it. Suck rat ass. Yeah.

I think that, honestly, this guy is great fodder for an article. Yes, I agree. If I were you, I would title the article something like, people are making a trip to rat mecca, dot, dot, dot, but a community weeps inside. Yes. And you could set up all the exposition of the rat that you're talking about, because that is interesting. But then really make this guy and the community a feature of,

The downside to it. Let's bring this conversation all the way back around to Tickle, the documentary that starts one way and you're like, oh, it's about this and then it takes a dark turn. No, it's about this. Because yes, it is on the surface a seeming kind of cute little funny thing. But I think we're getting to something really fun here, and that is it starts with the rat thing and then it turns and that is there are rules when you visit the fucking rat zone. Social construct. Hour.

And guess what? Your hours matter too. Don't leave food because it brings real rats. Do leave coins because the people in the neighborhood like to get the money. A community suffers under the rat. Don't drink all night, but if you want to go and have a glass of wine, do it early.

A Chardonnay or a Riesling. And don't leave a bottle for the rat, you goober. Because what happens is it breaks bottles. So I would say I think our tickled advice is right. And maybe the end of the article is you do a favor to this community and to this man. And about a block and a half away, you put a weird little ferret in the concrete and try to create a little ferret area. But live.

A live ferret. It's just head. The head's just sticking out. A living ferret in concrete. But, Larissa, I think we're kind of on to something fun here, and that is... So your basic article is about the backstory of the rat hole? The rat story. Yes. It's like the stud-turkeling of the rat hole story. It's all of these different voices. There's the...

People got married there. The person that tweeted it, like it's all interest, all, all great first. However, you want people to go below the fold and go, wait, let's go tickled on this. And I haven't even seen it, but now I think I know what tickled is going to happen. And that is, I don't think you're right. Well, I know that it turns. And so I think your article has to turn. Yeah. And the turn is,

People are becoming fucking rats and they're ruining this little neighborhood because what rats do to a neighborhood is they first come in and it's fine. And you go, oh, we had a rat. And then they get bigger and they're disgusting and they eat through the wires. And social media is feeding the rat. It's fun when a rat comes into your neighborhood. I'm just trying to get out of the call. It's fun. It's fun. You know, we all celebrate the...

first few wraps. You know, if you see a little mouse... It's validating. If you see a little mouse... A vast difference between a mouse and a wrap. Yes. Yes. Without question. I had a lot of mice in my house over the last summer and...

It wasn't that big a deal. Got rid of them. If we had... Oh, the rats. If we had rats, that's a whole different story. I lived in Bushwick and we had rats in the kitchen. Yeah. And there was two rats fighting under my sink. And it was one of the more depressing life moments I had. I was in my 20s.

Sitting at my computer writing in my little dorky Jake's writing folder thinking I was Bukowski. The fight between these rats was so intense and they were so big that I didn't even get up. I was like, I'm not even going to go in there and try to get him out. I just sat there and put my head down until the battle of these gladiators finished. Just one die. Yeah. He took one rat.

Punched the other rat uppercut so hard that he went flying up into space and then came down in Chicago. Little did he know the legacy. So Larissa, what do you think about having your article not only address this, but pay respect to this point of view? And that is, this is a cute thing in this neighborhood.

But people are going too far and it's ruining the neighborhood. And the title of the piece is, please don't publish this article! And then people go, what? And they'll read enough. And it's about how this is a cute thing that's getting popular and by getting it popular, it's actually ruining it and people are destroying the neighborhood. And I think if you want to talk to your acquaintance about it, just let him know that like, or let her know, whoever, that

You want to give voice to the community that is suffering under the wreck. And also, and I'm being serious here, I would write a response that does not require a further response. I would write kind of a statement saying, this is what I'm going to do. I appreciate all this. You've given me a lot to think about. I am completely...

sympathetic to your point of view and thank you very much. Yeah. And then write your article. What do you think, Larissa? I think we've given you some solid takes on this. Yeah, you have a good take. But where are you at?

I really like this. And if this hits the air, it almost does like a double public service for anyone who goes there will be more respectful. I think that's what they're frustrated with. They just, I think that's right. There needs to be rattle rules. And I think it's the same thing. Like I am glad I didn't respond in anger and waited. But I think this is a fun article. Yeah, this is great. And so I think we're kind of out of here unless we've got a song, man.

He did it. He was saying, we got a song man, not a song man. We've hired a man to sing. We've got a man with the voice of a goddamn R&B angel, which is a new discovery. You didn't know David had the voice? Oh, David has an amazing voice. Honestly, when it started, I thought he was going to be doing a bit of like a silly voice. And when it started, there were no jokes. Ronnie Dobbs had one of the best voices of all time.

So we're going to go out on this one and say you're in good shape if there's anything from our song, man. And if not... No pressure. Yeah. I'm going to save it up. Yeah. Respect. So then Gareth...

You're our new song man. It's really great. Thank you for passing, David. I love Hollywood scraps. And we know that Gareth honestly doesn't have a bit funny voice. He has a beautiful one. Thank you. And we know that he can go high when he really hits it and doesn't do it as a bit. How about this? Don't tell me anymore. Let me just figure it out. So Larissa, hear this little tale about rats and cities. David L. brought it to. Let's hear it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Shh.

An author looks for the right place to write

A community is suffering while they fight. Someone has to step in and help. Not Jake and I, but someone else. Come on, Larissa, fulfill your fate. And let the people know about the rat hate. Come on, Capit, do what you will. And we hope the article will fit the community's bill. Hmm.

Can you do one thing where you're beautiful? I'm not really open to no. David didn't have a no. You're right. I'm going to actually say no to whatever you're going to be quite frank. David, thank you for coming. Yes. My pleasure. Thank you. Yes. Thank you, David. Good luck out there. Let us know. Send us the article. I will. All right. Appreciate it. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. This next part is a chat that Jake and Gareth have with David Cross when he enters the studio. Please enjoy. Sketch Fest. Yes. Yeah. I actually did with Bob, which was fun. And I know you know Bob well. I mean, we've yet to meet officially. You'll love him. But Bob is... I've heard great things. Yeah. Mr. Show to me and like... That's another one I've heard. I've got to check out that I've heard. It's so good. Heard good things.

But I finally did. I was with Bob and Sam Fran and we did like this like great meal at a restaurant. I'm sure you've been to that Chinese restaurant. He said that he always goes to at Sketchfest. Yes. Yeah. But then Bob did the wild thing where we were about two miles from the hotel and we were all there. You know, everyone's kind of whatever Bob wants to do. We finished eating and he goes, shall we walk back to the hotel?

And everyone was like, well, we could also Uber. And he was like, oh, come on, let's walk. Good for him. We were walking up these masses. Dude, I'm the same way, and I appreciate it. Yeah, everybody was sweating. We had like Edelstein in the group. We got a guy who was like, you know, a big fella. I have photos of him on the hill where Bob's looking forward, and he's just going like this to me.

Good for him. Unable to talk when you're walking with the guy who can't talk anymore. And also the group had like levels. Like there were like people in the deep back where you're like, should we wait for him? And Bob's like, we know where we're going. I'm like, the group is so divided. Can you Uber me to Bob? But also seriously, thanks for coming in the day after Toby Keith passed. I know that's probably. Yeah, that was. Well, I mean.

You know, I appreciate you bringing that up because I had him down for several weeks later. Yeah. And then when the news came, it was, you know, it's mixed emotions. Obviously. You know, because, I mean, I'm out. My square was...

I think it was March 2nd. Yeah, so you were close to hitting it. I'm out about $2,500. Yeah, it sucks. I know. And now I got to deal with that while I do this. Yeah, I know. Well, push it out, but if it takes you... No sadness about the man. Yeah. Oh. No, I mean... You also know you're a huge fan. Mm-hmm. I had a... Oh, no, I'm thinking of Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA, but I had a remix of...

There's a... This is for real. I used to do some bit that ended with God Bless the USA, like playing it. And they put out after 9-11, the 9-11 remix. And it's got like an extended opening of the same kind of tinkly piano. And it has audio of, you know, survivors or various people. Not survivors, because they're not in

in New York or the Pentagon. Um, so they're all like folks out on, you know, I just think it's the worst thing in the world and God bless America and God's looking out for us and we're going to show them what's what, you know, and this is all over the, the opening coda of the song and then it starts playing and then they bring it in again with people just, you know, loving God and after one of the worst disasters, um, that we faced and, uh,

We meaning white people. White Americans. Yeah, yeah. And it was so rough for white Americans. It was hard. Yeah. And I remember getting out in the street saying, white lives matter. Yeah, no. You're still doing that a lot. I still do that. I have a sign also that says... That was your special, the first special after that was called White Lives Matter. White Lives Matter, yeah. How'd that do? It didn't do great, right? It was really...

No, I mean, I found an audience. It did. I mean, I didn't I it's one of those things. It's a labor of love. And, you know, and I made it for just for the folks at the McMurdo station in Antarctica, which I think is like one hundred and two people or whatever. So it's just for them.

I only, I asked, obviously it's for a small group of people. I want to make my money back. So I charged them $12,412 each. A model's a model. Yeah, yeah. And so it didn't, yeah. I mean, yes and no. But when you mix business with art, it does get tricky.

That's the thing about it, you know? Hey, talk to Yoko Ono. Yeah, agreed. She's been on the show. Did you bring that up? Yeah, it did not. It went bad. Really? Yeah, everything. Every part of the show went pretty poorly. It wasn't a win. Did she take it personally? Who's to say? It was hard to tell. I think we were part of her art installation, to be honest. We weren't sure what it was. She was doing a different show the whole time. But real quick, I did think after Toby Keith died about...

uh, the Mr. Show bit with, uh, Hey, Mr. Monkey, don't be asking. So here, here's the premise of this. Uh, we take calls. We've never heard the call either. So the three of us are going to hear for the first time. We, it's our job to make the call have a beginning, middle, and end. You can do it every once.

So if you want to pitch real advice, joke advice, whatever you feel like doing, you want to go ahead. And people have called in and pre-remoted. No, they're going to be live. No, it's live. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, so we can dig in. Oh, right on. We get emails to the show. Kevin pre-calls them a little bit. Okay, great. But earlier on the show, I was a part of that, and I knew what the calls were. Okay. And then we realized it's more fun where we know nothing. Yeah, yeah, sure. So everything about that's going to happen, the three of us are now in it together. Yeah, great. And then the headphones, you're going to need those to hear them. Yeah.

And that's it. Great. And we'll do a better intro when the episode comes out. We'll intro your pod and anything you want. Is it... What if... Can I not wear the headphones and then you just repeat the question to me? Sure. Word for word? It's going to take... I mean, it... It's going to be... It'll add some time to the episode. It'll be a disaster. I mean, again, content's king. So, I mean...

You can trust them. Appreciate you putting those on. You ever had headphones before? David, this is the thing. I didn't expect to be embarrassed. Jake, help him. For God's sake. Jake, help him. For God's sake. David, you just open like this. David, you're knocking on the door again. Like this. Wait. Not too far. Don't snap them, right? Hands on these. Hands on these. Open. Fingers out. Yeah, either one. They're going to go to your ears. Open and then go like this. There you go. Close, close.

Now the sound's coming in here. This will probably freak out. Oh, wow. I know, yeah. All right. Oh, shit. That's what I ate. What the fuck? Hello. Oh, my God. Hello, hello. Is this what I sound like? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's odd that you haven't heard. Yeah. Hello. Yeah, man. Oh, my gosh. How do I turn this off?

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt, and the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeith. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio, and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.