‘American Pie’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey
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On August 16th, the scariest movie of the summer, Alien Romulus is coming to theaters everywhere, including IMAX. This movie looks terrifying, and I cannot wait to see it. Alien Romulus comes from Fede Alvarez, the director of intense horror movies like Evil Dead and Don't Breathe, and it is produced by the legendary Ridley Scott, the mastermind behind iconic films like Blade Runner and the original Alien.

Can't wait for this one. Alien Romulus, rated R, in theaters everywhere, August 16th. Get your tickets now. The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the Bill Simmons podcast. You can find the Big Picture with Sean Fennessey. You can find The Watch with Chris Ryan. And right now, you can find the fourth installment of, wait, how much money did that movie make? Month on The Rewatchables. Because I was supposed to

Recorded an episode last week, the fourth installment, but guess what? I got COVID. I know. Who gets COVID anymore? Apparently this guy, because I got it. So we had been planning on running this American Pie episode at some point anyway, and it's the perfect fourth one for this month. $130 million domestic, and then it made $356 million worldwide. American Pie, who knew? Only had a $50 million budget.

It's also, I listened to the podcast. I love 99% of what we did. We left out like two things.

One, I really do, looking back, feel like this was the apex mountain for high school movies. 1999. This is a sampling. American Pie, Cruel Intentions, Never Been Kissed, She's All That, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, The Faculty, Election, Drive Me Crazy, Outside Providence. I was set in the 70s, but it was still a boarding school. 10 Things I Hate About You and Varsity Blues. And you can even shoehorn American Beauty in there. I have no idea...

why high school movies went absolutely batshit in the late 90s. I mean, I guess I have two theories. One is that this was the generation removed from the high school movies that we'd all grown up with. And we talk about this in the podcast, but they basically just started doing this generation's version of those movies. And then the second thing was, this was still early in the internet era and there wasn't

you know, a ton to do. And people still went to the movies pretty religiously and pretty regularly, especially teenagers and people in college. And, you know, they just started catering those type of movies to those people. So you look back at a 98, 99, I still know he did last summer, all those movies, plus all these 99 movies. And it was just this high school boom. And now I think in this generation, it shifted to all the streaming stuff.

it shifted to, you know, they either the net made for Netflix type of movies or those weird, like summer, I turn pretty type Amazon shows. And, you know, this, this, whatever this was in the late nineties, it certainly felt like a generation. So that was one thing. And then,

The other thing that we didn't talk about in 99, which I think is more relevant now at the end of 2023, is Jennifer Coolidge, thanks to White Lotus, became even a bigger star. So we were debating who won this movie, and I think...

If you look 24 years later, it's her and it's Eugene Levy who had the Schitt's Creek took off. Even when we taped this pod in 99, it was starting to become a thing on Netflix and then it blew up even bigger than that. So it's funny that those two older actors from this movie became the belated breakout stars of the movie. So there you go. We had a lot of fun doing this podcast. Me, Sean Fantasy, Chris Ryan, American Pie is next.

Here's to the next step.

Universal Pictures presents American Pie. You know, I forgot you'd been there and done. I've learned about it since I didn't know. I really don't need you to sit here and talk to me. My name is Bill Simmons. I'm here with Chris Ryan, Sean, Fantasy. We are breaking down American Pie. It was the seventh highest grossing movie of this year. Became a significant pop culture movie in the year 1999. And has aged atrociously, which we're going to get into. Ha ha ha!

In an adorable way. Yeah. You know? Sure. It's just kind of the way things were, but that's one of the reasons we wanted to do this podcast. 1999, really strange year. Let's dive into 1999 first before we even get to this movie. So we have Y2K coming. Mm-hmm.

We're pretty early in the internet at this point. I mean, technology was pretty advanced for Jason Biggs' character in this movie. I think we'll explore that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe a little too advanced. But I was writing for my own website at the time, and it was on AOL. And in 1999, it became available to everybody in the internet. That's how primitive the internet was at this point. This same year, Blair Witch came out, which we're going to talk about in a later podcast.

And people didn't realize that it was a hoax. People went into that movie and thought the found footage was real. It was a documentary. It was a little dumber back then. I think there was a big teen movie movement that we have discussed on our Rewatchables podcast over the years. Late 90s, blockbuster, going to the movie theater. It was just kind of a way to hang out pre-internet.

And a movie like this just fit into a lot of the other movies that were coming out back then. You want to talk about that, Sean? No, just that that is how I experienced it. It was a social event. I remember being 16 and going to see this movie with like nine friends, all of whom were guys, and thinking that this was going to be the most important thing that I'd do that year. They made a movie for you. This is diner for you. In some ways, I was hoping it would be. And in some ways, it was.

In other ways, it was not. And it's definitely not now that I think about it when I see it again. Chris, what do you remember? You're a little older than Sean. You're between age-wise, between me, I'm a late 40s guy. Yeah. And Sean's generation. What do you remember when this came out? I remember this probably being a couple, I was like a couple years too old for this movie at this point. So like I still liked it, but you know, I obviously grew up with like Porky's and Bachelor Party. Yeah. The National Lampoon's movies. Even I remember you were talking with Hater about this.

Kentucky Friday movie was a huge one for that kind of... Somebody gets a copy of that and we all gather around and watch it. So that felt like this next generation's version of those kinds of movies. So my generation, which this movie basically was tapping into the legacy of, which was this, I'm going to say from 1982 to 85, kind of these teen movies where Risky Business, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, that was the high end. Hot Dog the Movie.

Probably the lower end. Yeah. Then you have Porky's, Losing It, The Last American Virgin, Class, Private School, My Tutor. There was more, but those were probably the top nine. What was My Tutor about? My Tutor is like the guy had a tutor and something started to happen. Guy in high school. Incredible synopsis. Over and over again, it's the same thing. Can you imagine pitching My Tutor today? So there's a tutor. It's about a tutor. And it gets a little amorous. Yeah.

Every one of these movies said the same thing. Kid in high school needed to get laid. And they were all an excuse just to get to see a girl take her top off. Like that was the point of these movies in a lot of ways. They were funny and they were risque, but they were ultimately like, will a girl take her top off once or twice in this movie? That was... And this movie...

in that respect, is totally in the lineage of those movies. Oh, 100%. Yeah, I mean, I think we've talked about this. I can't remember on what podcast, but there's like a very specific moment in Stripes even, where it was just like, there's just like a mud wrestling scene in Stripes, a naked mud wrestling scene. For no reason. For no reason at all in the movie. And it's just like, that was basically...

A huge thing that Hollywood movies used to just slip in there to be like, you know what you want to see? If it's R-rated, you've got to see a woman with her top off. I think Animal House started that. And it became like a recipe for, all right, so why did people like this? Let's have a meeting. All right, so what do you think Bob and Bob would be like? Well...

Some laughs, some star power, and some nudity. That's the big three for us. So if we can stick to that recipe going forward, we got something here, guys. And this became a strategy really through, I would say, the mid-80s, even Revenge of the Nerds, which was hugely popular in 84, which wasn't necessarily losing the Virginia movie, but just has nude scenes shoehorned into it. And that's what they would do. Eventually, we grew out of that.

And this movie really does feel like the guy who wrote it was just thinking to himself,

what's the late 90s version of those movies that I loved when I was a kid? Right. What does that look like? And he does something that I think the Apatow movies then go on to do candidly in a better way, which is like, how can I take some of the tropes of a high school movie and invert them or push them to the farthest possible reaches? Because this movie is flirting with NC-17 at certain points. I think it was. The unrated version, which you can get

on the different streaming services was the NC-17 version. Right, and the unrated version is just all hardcore scenes, right? That's right. It's penetration. It's just really, really long extended lacrosse montages. There's actually a website that has what the unrated version, you know they have those parent websites? And they have the time frame and it's like the R-rated version has this and the NC-17 version have this.

And of course, I'm reading this because I like to research everything. And one of them, a big one was Jason Biggs in the pie scene, which we'll get into later when he has sex with an apple pie. I'll just let that hang for a second. When he has sex with an apple pie. In the R-rated version, he's in the corner of the kitchen, humping the pie, standing up.

In the NC-17 version, he's lying face down on the counter, like really missionary position, slamming the pie. I see. Well, I can see why they made that choice. Yeah, they were like, hey, can you use that other take with just him hunched over the pie? So it's a lot of stuff like that. The NC-17 really isn't different. It's a lot more tasteful, the way they put it out. So Adam Hertz was the screenwriter, influenced by all those movies we just mentioned. And the script that he wrote was titled...

Untitled teenage sex comedy that can be made for under 10 million that most readers will probably hate, but I think you will love. That was the actual title that he put on the script.

that he sent to the studio. So he's already in on the joke even before anyone has tried to buy it. That's a screenwriter trick, by the way. The writing to the person who is reading it for the first time well before the movie will ever be in production. You know, that's an old Shane Black trick. Quentin Tarantino does that. In Lethal Weapon, Shane Black has like a description of a house and he's just like, this is the kind of house I'm going to buy when this movie makes a billion dollars. Yeah, yeah.

So they tried to find a director. It took 70 people. 70 people passed on it? Kubrick passed. It said 70 people were sought. Sought is the information I have on the internet. They started with Sidney Lumet. Yeah. Kubrick passed. Yeah. Yeah.

Spielberg was making Jurassic Park 2. Yep. And they landed. Scorsese bringing out the dead. He passed. And they landed on the Weitz brothers. The Weitz brothers, yeah. And Chris White said, quote, nobody else wanted to direct it. Literally nobody.

And those guys hadn't directed a movie yet. And they would obviously go on a big career. Had they done screenwriting before that? They'd written a couple of scripts. I think they wrote Ants, the animated movie that came out the year before that. And they'd done some shorts. But, you know, those guys have gone on to make many, many movies. And they're probably the biggest asset of this movie because the timing of the movie is pretty good. It's slower than I remember. You felt the same, right, Chris? Yes, I did. Yeah. It's like, whoa. A lot of the scenes go on for like 30 minutes.

40 seconds longer than they really need to. Like there will be like the point of the scene has been communicated and then they'll just like sit there and be like, okay, yeah, we got to do that. Let's get laid. I think I always try to, one of the reasons we want to do this rewatchables 1999 podcast is it's always fun to think of what was going on when the, when a movie like this came out. And I do think there was an appetite for a movie like this in 1999 because we're still talking about

This is pre-internet porn too. We're talking three years before Pamela Anderson, the sex tape comes out with her and Tommy Lee. And that becomes one of the biggest things that happened in 1996. And really everybody somehow saw that tape, but it was like porn was really not available. And early on in the scene, he's watching scrambled porn. And that was really, you know, so the movie having Shane and Elizabeth like tapas in this movie was actually like part of the marketing. Absolutely. This girl's,

really good looking and she's also going to get naked halfway through the movie in this scene that's about to become famous and 16 year old Sean Fennessey and his friends along out are like cool count me in 730 I'll be there yeah that's just the way it was in 1999 you're absolutely right we're not judging it was harder to get your hands on that sort of thing Sean was like I'm going to go see David Lynch's straight story tonight

You know, I think that there's like a real duality and it's okay to enjoy a movie like this, just like it's okay to be into the David Lynch movie. And I think that this movie is not actually good, but I remember being completely entertained by it at the time and thinking it was like a great night out with my friends. And I definitely have seen it 10 plus times in my life, even though, you know, you wouldn't consider it one of the all-time great movies. I think the movie was good and aged poorly, but...

It was good when it came out. I think also... It became a phenomenon. Despite itself, Stifler has become like a thing in the culture. You know what I mean? 100%. And... And Stifler's mom. Like the whole milf thing. Like this movie created a lot of stuff. And Bandcamp. Like there's a lot of like things that came out of this movie that despite the fact that I would not put it anywhere close to even like...

you know, even like a national lampoons movie, I don't even think it's in the same ballpark as like being that good. It really, it still has like a lot, a lot of staying power. It just really feels like a lot of people who are all doing it for the first time. And I don't mean that as a pun. Like it's, it's a lot of people who are acting for the first time, first time directors, first time screenwriter. You can see that it's like pretty ramshackle having sex for the first time. Definitely. That was where I was going. Uh, it,

It's just, it's a little bit amateurish and that's part of its charm, I think. Yeah. And when you're 16, you don't notice that. Like, I didn't notice that the movie is like, holds for 40 seconds too long on scenes that like, the way that stuff is framed is just kind of clunky. You know, the dialogue reading, like Chris Klein reading dialogue in this movie, I'm like,

Kill me now. This is brutal. Don't step on it. I have a whole section about this later. There's like four acapella singing scenes. Oh my God. I forgot that that was like a major part of this movie. Whether or not he shows up for an acapella singing concert. Also, this movie. So there's something about Marin comes out the year before as the legendary scene of the sperm on his head, which becomes the iconic kind of screen grab from that and the hairstyle and that stuff.

That kicks off... Earlobe to Cameron Diaz's hair. Yeah. That kicks off about a five-year run of kind of gross-out, R-rated, oh my God, I can't believe they did that comedy stuff. And I don't think that can be slept on when we talk about this movie because that was the atmosphere at the time was... You talk about road trip...

What was that crazy? Freddy Got Fingered, that Tom Green movie. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of movies that were pushing it. When are we doing the Freddy Got Fingered rewatchables? We're never, ever, ever doing that. No, but yeah, it's like Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, that whole era, like the Farrelly's, that was the comedy of the time. That led to these movies. Farts and Boners. Yeah. And then it's like, but once you're done with Farts and Boners, where do you go?

Now you got to go to Stifler drinking the pale ale and then you go further and further and you just keep going and going. That's what they call it in the movie. That was the first 20 minutes. The film concentrates. I thought Wikipedia's description of this movie really summed it up. The film concentrates on five best friends, parentheses, Jim, Kevin, Oz, Finch, and Stifler, end parentheses, who attend East Great Falls High.

With the exception of Stifler, parentheses, who has already lost his virginity, end parentheses, the guys make a pact to lose their virginity before graduation. First of all, anytime guys make a pact, it's going to go badly. Yeah. I'm trying to think, has there ever been a movie that you can remember in your life where-

Four or more people said, let's make a pact. It's like the reverse of one last job. It's one first job, but it still goes the same bad way. Yeah. Or like in a rom-com when the two make a pact, never get married. Or when I'm 30, we will get married. Make a pact is always a recipe for disaster. They make a pact. We'll lose it before the prom. Um,

We're packed. Can I? Yeah, because they're like, we'll help each other. And it's just, it's a pretty solitary act, you know? You know what I just realized? This is definitely giving away way too much about my life, but the way that you see this movie, I think, is divided between if you've lost your virginity or not. Because if you haven't lost your virginity, you probably are willing to have more fun with this movie. But if you've had sex and you watch these idiot characters talk about having sex, you're like, this is pretty stupid. Yeah.

But if you haven't had sex, you're like, I totally relate to this. Yeah, because it's basically a high school graduation movie for eighth graders and high school freshmen. Now it's really for like my son, my son's generation. Yeah. It's for 11 year olds. I was so scared to ask if you will show Ben this movie. So I was watching it and Ben came down and watched five minutes with me. I was like, dad, what's this? And I'm like, you have to go because the Nadia face cam scene was, it was a safe five minutes.

But he definitely... It was like Finch golfing. He's like, Dad, why are you watching this golf movie? Well, what was making him laugh was it was some scene with Stiffard and you just forget Stiffard's really good at this movie. He's funny. You can't take your eyes off him when he's in a scene. Yeah. And he's just got this crazy energy and this crazy look on his face. So for somebody like Ben, he's like, who's that? What's he up to? Um...

Fun business story for this movie. Universal sold the foreign rights because it was an attempt to recoup the film's budget at Cannes. Big mistake. Whoops.

The movie made, took in gross worldwide revenue of $235 million, over half of which was from international tickets. What the hell were people overseas thinking about this country when they were watching American Pie? They were like, no, no, Stifler. I mean, of course this movie was successful, though. It's exactly what you're saying about Stifler. It's all sight gags. It's big, over-the-top comedy. 20th highest grossing film in 1999.

In North America. Mixed reviews from critics. Hard to believe. What did Ebert say? 61% for Brown Tomatoes. What do you think Ebert said? I know Ebert liked this movie. Three out of four stars for Raj. Absolutely. Actually, I got to say, his take on this is kind of with my take and why I'm going to defend this movie when I know you guys are going to be a little more lukewarm on it. Cheerful and hardworking and sometimes funny.

And here's the important thing. It's not mean. Its characters are sort of sweet and lovable. And I think that's a really good point. The characters are mean to each other, but all as like the way buddies are, but all of them are self-deprecating and all of them get a comeuppance in some way, which is why this movie seems okay, even though some of the atrocities that happen within it are kind of indefensible in 2019. But it's these guys that are just, they're buddies. They know they're fucking weird.

They're self-deprecating about it. And they all stumble at some point in the movie. Yeah. So are you saying that Roger Ebert is a titan of film criticism? No. Just saying he made a good point here. Our last bravest critic. Right? Rog bets, I don't know, 52%? He bets 100%. Yeah. That gets you into Cooperstown. Anything else we want to say before we get into this? Can we talk a little bit about this is a DVD? Because this was definitely a movie that was just on every coffee table.

In college and... So the DVD run started about 97 and 98, 99, then it became a thing. And it's like, I like that movie. I'll...

You can't overestimate until like 96, you really couldn't watch a movie over and over again unless you taped it on your VCR. So it was really fun to have a DVD like, hey, let's get stoned to watch American Pie tonight. It's just like movies like Old School and the Kevin Smith movies where everybody just had a copy of those DVDs and they were just on in dorm rooms for years. You know, the Big Lebowski was like that. I would actually say that Mallrats is probably to me what

uh, American pie was to a lot of people watching it in high school or like early, like late eighth grade or whatever. That's where you learned about sexual coercion. No, but it was like, yeah, like it was also that that was the one that I was like, I can't believe people talk like this. This is amazing. And I watched it like three times in the theater. And that's like 96, 97. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I thought it was an important point, which maybe Craig, the producer said this, how much better Superbad is this movie. And it's, it's eight, they're eight years apart and it feels like it's like 28. Yeah. For whatever reason, once we hit the mid two thousands and maybe it started with old school doing this type of movie, the bar just raised.

It's like, we're going to do this type of movie, but let's actually be much more self-aware and do all these different tricks. That's it. Better actors, better directors, better writers, and it's very self-aware. And way more improv. Yeah. I think you can feel how loose those movies are. And so not improv in a bad way where you're like, oh, this was the 16th take and you just cut it together. It's improv in a way that makes the characters feel way more realistic and there's no like, I'm going to stand up on a chair and give a speech about how we all need to help each other lose our virginity. It's like...

It's way more when you watch Jonah Hill and Michael Cera do that. It just feels like, oh, these are kids. I get it. The paradox of this movie is it was a really successful movie and all these people in this movie became stars. Didn't last long. But there's this two, three year window where like seven people in this movie become a thing. But when I watched the movie again, I was startled by how bad the acting was. Especially somebody like Chris Klein who...

Really became a star there for three, four years. Like he, they built Rollerball, the Rollerbar remake around Chris Klein. Yeah. And he couldn't act. They built, Mina Savari was in not just American Beauty, but then she was also in Loser with Jason Biggs. And that was Amy Heckerman's, her clueless follow-up. Yep.

It was built around those two. Amina Savare is like actively terrible in this movie. Not a good actress, yeah. So you're going down the line. It's kind of like Tara Reid, this was the peak of her career, but it seemed like she was going to become a thing in 1999. She started dating Carson Daly. Jennifer Coolidge probably made out the best. I think the two biggest, the people who have lasted the longest outside of Eugene Levy and Jennifer Coolidge, who have obviously like worked consistently, are Casey Affleck and Natasha Lyonne. Right. Those are the two biggest stars in this movie. And Casey Affleck's my one seed.

Well, Sean William Scott really did seem like he was going to be a giant star. I mean, he had big starring roles in big comedies. Yeah. He had a very big career. He had a big five-year run. So he did the best. He's in the rundown with The Rock. That movie's pretty good. It's great. Yeah. I remember Chris Moore, the producer, he told me this story once. I forget, he produced like two or three. Oh, The American Pie. Yeah. And in this first one, Sean William Scott made $8,000. Wow.

The second one, he probably made more. One of the, whatever one Chris Moore produced, Sean William Scott didn't want to do this. Do it again. And they paid him $15 million. You guys got to see Fancy's face right now. Is that true? Yeah. And the studio was like, that's insane. It's Sean William Scott. And he's like, yeah, but you know what else is insane? Doing American Pie 3 if he's not in it. We just have to pay it.

And it made money and it was the right move. But it was also insane. But it's like somebody's value to a weird movie franchise like this, he was really the go-to guy. Yeah. It's true. The movie doesn't work without him. No. Because even though he's definitely the biggest dick in the movie and a lot of his humor has not aged very well, he was totally the... He was the draw for teenage boys. Him and Shannon Elizabeth, that was the draw. Anything else before we get to the categories? One thing that I just wanted to note when we were talking about those 90s movies, or

Excuse me, we're talking about those 80s movies. It's weird how there just weren't any movies like that in the 90s. You know, the teen movies were clueless and can't hardly wait. And even in 99, it was like 10 Things I Hate About You and She's All That. And everything was very sweet. Yeah, I think that was a reflection. I think it was a reflection of the tone of that time in high school, I think too. Which is when I went to high school. But it was a much more...

I think it was somewhat considerate. It was like right around Alternative Rock and Grunge happening and people were like a little bit more, I don't want to say like reflective necessarily, but it was definitely like a little bit more nuanced emotionally rather than just like, let's screw. I mean, there was plenty of that, but it was mostly like, if you have people like Lloyd Dobler as like generational icons, it's not going to be like,

Tom Hanks or somebody from Bachelor Party is. Like, I can't wait till that's my life. Yeah, these movies always feel like a reflection of the thing that came before. So the 70s are like this very sophisticated, politically charged, you know, it's like a sexual revolution, but the movies that you're seeing are these like

really deep artistic statements. And then the eighties, you get all this stuff that's just like horny and action centric. Bruckheimer Simpson. Exactly. Yeah. And then same thing, early nineties, things turn back. You've got the Clinton administration, you've got grunge music, and then you start getting towards 2000 and then everything starts to get a little bit more explosiony. The matrix happens, all these horny teen movies start happening again. It's funny how that stuff kind of tips back and forth. This feels almost like an extension or a part of a piece with like some of the rap rock stuff. Like it's,

It's a little bit more knowing and sweet, but it still is like, it goes along with that kind of that vibe a little bit. See, I disagree with both of you. Okay. I think they made so many of these movies in the 80s that the whole concept got fucked up. It was like they did every single conceivable version of a high school movie, of somebody losing their virginity, of any sort of scenario. And by 88, it was kind of dead.

And then over the next five, six years, like the whole quote unquote high school movie actually became like an advanced type of movie. So you mentioned Say Anything. Yeah.

That's a high school movie, but it's just like an awesome version of a high school movie. But I also think that that's like post, like I, we had safe sex beaten into our heads from like pretty much fourth or fifth grade on where it was just like, you should be terrified of this. So I think that like, there was a little bit of like, not fear, but like you weren't, you weren't as like openly horny. Like people were definitely horny, but it was just, I felt like it was a little bit more of a restrained time.

Yeah, you might be right. Like, Zebra Head was a high school movie. Yep. Pump Up the Volume was a high school movie. Yeah, these are complicated movies, though. They're just really... They were advanced movies. Heather's was like a pretty dark movie. Heather's was a high school movie. I just think the high school movie, they took every variation of it, and they were like, how do we go up a level? And then once you got to the late 90s, people were like, you know what's fun? Like, just stupid high school movies. And this movie is a bigger hit than all those other movies. Oh, yeah. American Pie was massive. So...

When we do the Rewatchables podcast, we go through categories. It enables us to shape our feelings on the movie. I added a special category for the Rewatchables 1999, which you guys don't know. I'm ready. That's not what we're starting with, though. Most rewatchable scene of American Pie. And by the way, I'm not going to judge you for any of your choices. Final choice. You have some candidates for us? I do. Okay.

The whole Stiffler drinks the pale ale beer scene. It's just funny. That whole party is good. Here's the thing. I'm not going to apologize if a movie makes me laugh that was made 20 years ago. I don't want to be judged. That whole scene is really funny. I had forgotten when I watched it. That's like the least problematic scene in this whole movie. Yeah. It's Stiffler drinking that guy's load. Don't drink the beer. Oh no. Just that whole thing. It's just the way it's set up. It's just really good. You

Eugene Levy's Birds and the Bees speech? Uh-huh. Oh, I almost forgot. I bought some magazines. Do you want to just flip to the center section? Well, this is the female form, and they have focused on the breasts, which are used primarily to feed...

young infants and also in foreplay. Right. He's just really good in this movie. I think he's really funny. And it's a great run where he's also doing the Christopher Guest movies. This is like a revival for him, this period of time. He's really good, that whole thing about just flogging the one-eyed dolphin, all the 17 ways he puts things. It's really great. Nadia in Jim's room.

It's problematic for a bunch of reasons. It's also really funny. What's rewatchable about it, Bill?

The he blew it part, that whole section is just really funny. The whole premature ejaculation. The two-time premature ejaculation. It's just hilarious. We can get into some of the other problems of that scene later. Did you think he was going to be like, just that moment of pre-broadband internet? So fascinating. We're on the precipice of such an amazing time technologically. As an early adopter of webcam technology. Yeah.

And then I have for most rewatchable, the end choir scene with Chris Klein is honestly one of the worst movie scenes of all time. And it's rewatchable in its own right for how bad it is and how the movie got to the point where they said,

You know, more choir. Put one more choir scene in. Maybe that could be the payoff. Because there's no real story otherwise. So they put in this weird, we have to help each other get laid. So they do a montage of them being like, this is how you put together a flower bouquet and all that. But otherwise, it would just be a series of waiting for prom to start. So they have to have some...

like, rocky kind of sports story going on in the background of like, will this guy choose lacrosse or acapella? It's the stupidest thing in the whole world. It's like, guys, I've got a choir to go to. Good luck in your game. So this is Chris Klein and Mina Savari actually singing, right? They're not dubbed. Yeah. So almost every movie where an actor or an actress sings, they dub it with someone who knows how to sing.

And the point of this movie is that the people who are singing are literally in a competition to win something with the power of their singing. Their singing sucks. Like, they are horrible singers. Really bad. And we watched them sing four different times in the movie. Yeah. What was the thinking here? Was it, were we meant to think that they're bad? I don't, see, this is my question with this movie. And that's like going back to the Nadia scene, which is really funny. If they're doing this movie and it's almost a parody of 80s movies.

And the parody of that movie is like Kim leaving his house and sprinting to his buddy's house to watch the webcam and them saying...

you should go back there and ask if you can lend her a hand. And he's like, should I? And it's like, it's so absurd. It's almost hard to get mad at it. I think that would never happen. That whole idea is genius. I think that's really funny. I love the idea of him being like, now I got to run to my friend's house. Now I got to run back. He's got to sprint back, but it felt very like eighties Ferris Bueller. Yeah. Eighties movies. Yeah. So I'll defend it. Okay. I think if you did that now, everybody's in jail and it, and it's,

A frontline story and there's a documentary on HBO about it and Nadia suing the school system and 19 horrible outcomes.

I, oh man, I'm trying to think of other rewatchable scenes. One scene jumped out to me. I don't know if I would describe it as like purely rewatchable, but I was really confused by it, which is when Tara Reid's character tells Thomas Ian Nicholas's character that she's ready to have sex after the prom, but she does it in class. So she like gets his attention and she's like, whatever his name is, it's Thomas. Bad actor. Yeah, I'm ready.

In front of everybody. And I can't, that was another moment where I was like, is this purposefully stupid? Like, what, are they making a comment on it? Because like these people presumably spend a lot of time together and they've been talking about this all the time. So why did she decide to tell him in class? Well, that's my question. So we know the Weitz brothers, we know that they're talented. Yeah, they're really smart. And they've done a lot of like really creative stuff. Yeah. Which makes me think like this whole movie was subversive. It's like a commentary on these kinds of movies.

Yeah. I don't agree with that. And then it became super popular. I think it's in play. I can't figure it out. It's like a parody of high school movies. I think for them, I think they're fucking with the whole kind of way that these go. I guess so. But then it ended up becoming super popular. Yeah. It's almost like if you took Airplane and mashed it together with an actually scary movie about something that happens at an airport. Sure.

But you never really decided which one you were going to do. There are times where it's like the stakes are really high dramatically in this movie. And then there are other times where I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? Because there's also moments where it seems like the four guys kind of hate each other. But then they're like, we are brothers and we must do this together. Meanwhile, it doesn't seem like they'd ever hang out. Well, did you ever see the movie that Airplane is based on? Is it Airport? Airport 75. 75. With Karen Black. And if you watch that movie...

That movie doesn't know if it's serious or not. That's true. It's completely over the top, but it's also seems like it's parodying those movies. The Poseidon adventure is kind of similar where it's just like Gene Hackman being like, I can't believe I'm doing this. But at the same time, this is diehard. That is a move in movies, I guess. When you're making a movie that's been made like 20 times before, you kind of have to be a little bit knowing about the thing that you're making.

So what's the most rewatchable scene for us? I like the opening party at Stifler's culminating with the IPA. Against my better judgment, it's definitely got to be Nadia and Jim, even though that is like a sexually predatory act and is definitely illegal. I watched it with my wife and...

The second premature ejaculation, it's just fucking funny. Everybody's watching going, no, not again. And they're just confused. How about Blink-182 showing up there to watch? Blink-182 is in it. That's great. All right. New category for Rewatchables 99.

Most 1999 moment possible. I mean, it's got to be him logging on to that dating service with all the- I'll give you the nominees. Okay. Jim using E-Date. Yeah. Scrambled porn. Like Craig's generation doesn't even know what scrambled porn is. The Harvey Danger song montage. Incredible stuff. So 1999. You can just feel the 1999 music from it. And then Blink-182 making a cameo, uncredited.

In the key scene of the thing, which was like, if you're going to pick a 1999 band. It's got to be that. It would have had to have been that, right? Yeah. Who else would you have picked? I mean. It's a perfect choice. Yeah. Limp Bizkit would be too much. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would also just nominate all of the clothes.

They'll close it. I wanted to talk a little bit about this, but I'm going to save it for what you're wearing. One of those outfits. Yeah. The open button down with a t-shirt underneath. That's a classic style. And all the stuff that girls are wearing in that movie or everybody's wearing now. That is true. But like Jim's clothes in particular, where he's got these big collars and he's got like a, a, a t-shirt with like a ribbed neck underneath it. They're trying to roast him at the fast food place. But in reality, it's,

Kevin actually has the worst outfit. Like when they go to the fast food place for the first time and like they drink like mouthwash and stuff like that. Kevin's outfit when he's walking into the restaurant is like pretty short shorts, Tevas, a t-shirt and like an open short sleeve button up. It's like, I don't know. That kid would get thrown in a dumpster. Do you guys know if the high school lax bro is still a thing? We have to call it Bakes. I assume so. Because the...

You know, the Chris Klein character is a very recognizable figure to me. Yeah. Like on Long Island, a dude who is like, all I care about is lacrosse. Yeah. I dress like a guy who plays lacrosse every day. Does anybody like, so in this movie, I figured it was just a matter of not being able to pay for extras. There's like nine people at this game, but the lacrosse guys are supposed to be like the football guys. Is that right? Yeah, I think so. Okay. Yeah. They might've run out of money for the extras at that point. So what do you think is the most 1999?

I think it's definitely the E-Date thing. The E-Date is incredible. His whole web setup is pretty amazing. I love the webcam. It's just generally like the technology. I think you could make it even bigger than that. I vote for Harvey Danger.

I just feel like he belongs to a specific point of time at the end of the 90s in Y2K. And his song is in like four different movies. Can I give you a tip? Yeah. Harvey Danger's not a man. He's a band. There's no living person named Harvey Danger. Is that true? Yeah. I thought Harvey Danger was a guy. That's a Portland band, right? Yeah. That's it? One song for them, right? They put out like five albums, but you only know one song. That sounds really good. I used to like that song.

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Stifler. He's aged well. Not everything he says is aged well. I'm not saying the character. I'm saying the Sean William Scott as Stifler. I prefer him as the animal trainer in old school. The animal wrangler. He's great in that. Got a fucking dart in your neck. When I rewatched this movie, I was like, Sean William Scott, maybe should have had a bigger career. I think he's on Lethal Weapon now, right? Yeah, he's had a pretty big career. Could he have...

He really, he put a lot of eggs in the playing that in Goon, right? Do you feel like Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson? Oh my God. It's hot in here. Do you think Owen Wilson, Mark had corrected him? If there's no Owen Wilson, does he get like five of those movies? No, because Sean William Scott's got more edge. Owen Wilson's very sweet in his movies. You don't think he could have been in like,

Meet the parents? Maybe. Maybe. I mean, Sean William Scott has been doing a voice in the Ice Age movies for the last 10 years, and I feel like he's getting nice checks on that. I feel like he's doing well. $15 million to be an American Pie 3? I bet he's made like $120 million in his career. Another what's aged the best. I enjoyed Finch.

Like Finch. Not sure why he didn't have a bigger career. Eddie K. Thomas. Coming out of the movie, I remember thinking as a teenager, like that guy's going to be like a John Cusack kind of thing. Yeah. And he didn't really pop off. He did a lot of sitcom work. Did you have a friend in high school who had like a really high end, high concept bit like that? It was kind of me. I'm kind of the person who was like that. I was like, I'm mature.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. You guys are, you guys are animals. Yeah. But I was hanging out with animals. Like all of my friends were fucking monsters. They were great guys, but they were monsters. And, uh, I was like, I'm above this, but I'm not above this. Okay. That was my bed. Right. I don't, I wasn't drinking mochaccino in school though.

I don't think I knew anybody like that. I enjoyed Finch. Here's my theory on why Finch stands out in this movie, because so many of the other actors are horrible. Yeah. He actually seems like Robert De Niro in some of these scenes. He's currently on CBS's Scorpio, I believe. Oh, there you go. Do you know that he's also the titular Freddy in Freddy Got Fingered? It's a true story. Is it? It's the unifying figure of... Another What's Aged to Best, Shannon Elizabeth.

Really, really, really good looking late 90s in this whole world of Maxim Magazine and stuff. And she was like a goddess for two years. And I kind of forgot this until I watched this movie. There was a moment in time...

When she was kind of like the goat of, if you were 16, that was the person you liked the most because she was in this scene. And she could never parlay it in anything. Maxim and stuff were kind of like the last edge of this. You talked about like, this was before like internet pornography and everything getting like kind of like distributed like that. Maxim is kind of like the last like, wow, an actress, but really looking sexy. She was probably the most successful actress

Or the celebrity that took the best advantage of Maxim. And they would also get away a lot with, like, you've never seen her like this before. Dame Judi Dench. You've never seen her like this before. Helen Mirren. So I've had a couple of different interesting stages with Shannon Elizabeth because she also went on to a pretty impressive poker career. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's right. In the early to mid 2000s. And she cashed in like many tournaments over the years. And I think she played in the World Series a few times. I remember watching her and she had like an actually pretty good reputation, even though she was a famous, you know, really beautiful actress. And I also was working at Stuff Magazine in 2005, like kind of when her star was starting to fall a little bit in that world. And she was like...

She was well known for being a person who could sell a lot of magazines for a time when those publishing companies were thriving. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt was another one from that era. Very similar. That era had a couple like... I feel like Jessica Simpson was on it. Transcendent Babes. She wasn't... She was like early 2000s, I think. They all had very similar looks too. Nev Campbell. Paul Brunette. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

The whole fact that this movie basically popularized the MILF concept. Impressive. You would know. I mean, were there no MILFs before this? I have some in the, we'll get to it. Have you added a MILF category to the rewatchable? MILF 99. That's exciting. No, that's my other podcast on Luminary. Yeah.

I think we could sell that. The Coolidge thing is really funny, though. Her being in that room, that whole scene. I should have put that in the rewatchable scene. That part is funny. She's really good. That scene's really funny. Can I make you a drink? Aged 18 years. It's very subtle. I have to say something about the milf thing. Yeah. That is a weird generational thing where in my high school...

it would be pretty much grounds for fighting if you started talking about somebody's mother like that. And yet in this and in Superbad, it's like this hilarious bit that everybody is allowing to happen. But if you were like, your mom is hot at a basketball practice, you'd probably get a basketball thrown in your face as hard as possible. Let me ask you this. Were there any hot moms in your atmosphere? Well...

It's a complicated story, but yeah, there were, there were. Okay. I was going to tell a story about being a lifeguard and there was a really hot mom who worked at, who was at the pool I was a lifeguard at and her husband killed a guy at a Coke deal. What? Yeah. And went to jail. And then like everybody was like, she's available at like, that was like that. She was like, there were jokes about that. Yeah. Yeah. But not, it wasn't like one of our friends. Yeah.

It's a tough topic for me.

Is it because you know many mothers at this stage of things? No. You had a hot mom experience? Bill's like adjusting the microphone and getting serious in a way that's never happened before. I don't know. Actually, I really want this podcast to ever go up. Go ahead. I had the hot mom. Oh, no, Bill. It was a running joke with my friends. Oh, wow. But we joked about it. Okay. My friends would always be like, is your mom coming out and hanging out in the pool with us? And it was just...

When you're friends, you make fun of each other about absolutely everything. And it became a topic.

Yeah, I don't want to hurt any of my friend's mom's feelings, but I don't know if we had like a hot mom. My mom's 70 now. Craig, is that a joke? Is that a joke? Yeah. All right. I guess I just went to a really like buttoned down school. Pennsylvania, it's such a weird place. Can't trust it. Yeah. So much repressed anger. You guys aren't even allowed to drink on Sundays where you're from. So much repressed anger. But you had the Coke Lord widow. Yeah, that's true. That's an amazing. I had the white widow.

I feel like there was like five or six people who died in Coke deals gone bad in the 80s in my life. This is another podcast altogether. I do think that the mill thing is really funny, though, because I have no idea if this is where it started. You literally would know better than me. It definitely popularized it. But that is like a whole strand of porn and sexuality. That is like a defining aspect of all this stuff in the 21st century. No, I understand that part. It's the legacy of this movie, basically. When people are like... When John Cho is like, I want to hump this guy's mom at...

his house, that would be considered a social faux pas. Yeah, I feel like it actually flips something. I always think of Shampoo in the Warren Beatty movie Shampoo where he goes- And Mrs. Robinson. And Mrs. Robinson too, but then he goes over to Carrie Fisher's house and he sleeps with Carrie Fisher when she's the young daughter. And so it used to be this complicated jailbait thing. And this movie kind of turns it on its head a lot. Yeah. The John Cho scene's funny. Great podcast. John Cho scene is funny though.

Moof! Moof! Another one. Very subtle, but hilarious. And I've seen this movie more than once. But Jim's family portrait. And you can see they do it and they're all looking ahead and they all look like just complete maniacs. It looks like it was shot the day before. Yeah. You know, like it's literally them in that exact moment. Makes me laugh. This one time at band camp.

It's still funny. Yeah. It's annoying, but it's funny. And it became, you talk about tropes that came from this or not tropes, but like running jokes that came from this movie that became the go-to thing to make fun of anybody who was a super nerd for, I don't know, eight years. I have a take about this. Yeah.

If you ever just listen to Alison Hannigan's character talk, she sounds just like Greta Gerwig. And one time at band camp, we weren't supposed to have pillow fights. I learned to do that at band camp. This one time at band camp? I thought so, because this one time at band camp... What's your name? So you think that Gerwig is actually like... I don't know. She's Alison Hannigan 2.0? I don't know. It's weird. Just like watch it, like listen to it without watching it. It's almost unnerving.

And then the last one, my wife said this during the scene. Sean's going to be catatonic after this. Because I watched this with my wife and she's, this is just a quote. Tara Reid pretending to lose her virginity was the best acting in this movie. My wife said it. I didn't say it. I'm not in trouble for that one. It's tough. Yeah. It was a good line. What's aged the best, Chris Ryan? Uh...

My wife's funny. The Jennifer Coolidge stuff is age the best, I think. I agree. I agree. That's the answer. What's age the worst? Jim decides to commit a felony by secretly recording Nadia changing clothes in his bedroom and broadcasting to his friends via webcam. Unfortunately, the stream goes out to people far beyond Jim's social circle. Yes, including her. That's from Wikipedia. The sponsors of her visa. Yeah.

It's a tough one. Yeah. It's tough. She gets essentially deported. Was the nation of Czechoslovakia in existence in 1999? I don't believe it was. It was not. They keep referring to her as Czechoslovakian. I thought she was Russian. Was she Yugoslavian? Unclear. No. It was quite a tumultuous time over that part of the world. Yeah.

Just a notable fact. Doubling up the sort of tragedy of her getting deported back. Yeah, I can't, I also can't say that her accent has like aged that well. She's kind of slipping in and out there. I don't know what country she thought she was from in the movie. She's from the former Czechoslovakia. Do you think she studied a lot of like Drazen Petrovic, Vlade Divac kind of accents? Yeah, definitely. Try to be like. Yeah, definitely looked at a lot of Divac tape.

So just icy cold passes from the high post. I'm trying to imagine what would happen in 2019 in social media if this movie became a successful comedy that was released, how the Twitter police would react. They would literally make it a horror movie. It wouldn't be a comedy. It would be the same setup. This would be like unfriended. Not to mention he goes to school the next day.

Which they gloss over. None of his friends even give him a heads up. My wife pointed out the fact that there were no ramifications. The only person who was punished was her because she had to go back to her home country. Yeah. Nothing else happened. A fallen Soviet state. It's a plot hole. What also has aged the worst, and this is just from, it's 20 years later, but at the time...

The casting impact of the kid from Rookie of the Year being in this movie about everybody losing their virginity was kind of a hook of the movie. It's like, oh, that kid? Henry Rowan Gardner. You wouldn't even know the connection to that. I'll just read what I wrote here. Mina Savari, hash, never understood it. Chris Klein, hash, just bad at acting.

And then Mina Savare Capitals and Chris Klein. All of that's aged the worst. Dynamite. And they're also carrying the dramatic and emotional weight of the movie on their shoulders. Yes.

They're horrible. I just staggeringly, stunningly horrible. I have to say, I came out of this movie not, I didn't feel one way or another about Mina Savari, so I'm kind of surprised to hear you guys be like, to think that this is on her. She's just bad. But part of me thinks she's bad because Chris Klein is bad. At one point she wears platform flip-flops, which I noticed, but that was the only thing I noticed. She has a line reading that's like, you're such a joke. Actually, you're a jerk. And it's

It's so bad. It's just the material. The scene when... You can sell stuff. Like, talented people sell stuff. She overhears the lacrosse team talking about Chris Klein and her, and she decides to uninvite him to the prom. And they're walking in the street, and it's like a one-minute scene. It feels like it's 100 minutes. And it's like a first take that they just kept. It is just so bad. Great physical performance from Stifler in that scene, though. He's doing the, like, ride the Bronco motion. It's great stuff. Yeah.

I really enjoy Stifler. They're just, I just can't believe how bad those scenes were. And then it's like, wow, well, at least it's over. And then it's like, nope, here's another one. Nope, back at the choir. It's not good. Another What's Aged the Worst

Tara Reid and her boyfriend breaking up before they went to college. This has never actually happened in real life. You thought that was bad? No, it's just too unrealistic. So he gets into Michigan. Some realistic thing in the movie. And she's going, is she going to Cornell or is she going to Ithaca? Unclear. Ithaca, she says. I mean, she says, I'm going to Ithaca. Here's the thing. I went to Ithaca. I went to Ithaca College.

She got the big package that she was nervous about opening that was going to say whether or not she got into Ithaca. That makes me think that it was not Ithaca and that it was Cornell. No disrespect to Ithaca. No, because I was wondering, she seems so nervous about it. Yeah, exactly. That's why it seems like Cornell. Yeah.

What's a better school, Cornell or Ithaca? Cornell. Cornell's an Ivy. I think she got in at Ithaca then because she was so stupid. She got this giant packet and didn't know if she got in. Who's ever applied to college ever that didn't know the difference between envelope versus giant packet? It's a great point. There are brilliant people at Ithaca College. And it's a very good school, but it's not Cornell. We employ several of them. We do employ several IC alums. She wasn't a rocket scientist. Um...

In real life. Sean gets an alumni letter. It's a beat for Sean. What stage is it? Where is it? Ithaca College. Well, this is an amazing time for Ithaca College because Road Trip is also set around Ithaca College. Why was Ithaca the center of all this? Is that why you went to Ithaca? Great foliage. That's true. What's that? Is that why you went to Ithaca? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was in love with Tara Reid. I thought she was going to be there.

In real life, they would have stayed together, done the cross-country thing, and then broke it up at home. They would have done it right up until the first time either of them met anybody and didn't pick up the phone. This is how this happened. I did it. Yeah. I literally did it. But it would be like, I called your dorm room and a guy picked up or some weird, like no one picked up at two in the morning on a Saturday. What's up? Where were you? And it's like, I was just meeting people. And then that's how it, yeah. Or when they're back at home for Thanksgiving break. Yeah.

Or just the huge fight on Wednesday night at the party when all the friends are back together. For all the listeners out there, I would not recommend long distance relationships during college. But if you can make it work, if you can make it work, it's amazing. I made it work. It's really hard. What's aged the worst? Another one.

Stifler's mom just probably goes to jail unless he's 18. He's 18. Oh, he is 18. That's the joke they make because she's talking about the scotch and she's like, it's aged 18 years just like I like it. So you think that of all the crimes committed in this movie, Stifler's mom is the one who's like going to jail. It's not in the top three. Yeah. But it's a crime if he was 17. Yeah.

I would say broadcasting Nadia masturbating is pretty high up there. To the entire school? Yeah, pretty high up there, yeah. No, the principal never, there was no investigation the next day? No, no. I would say the police would be at Jim's house more than likely. Another what's aged the worst.

This is the whitest movie I think ever made. Absolutely. Yeah. Michigan, you know. There's one minority in it, John Cho. Yep. There are no black people in it at all. There's not a single black person in this whole movie because I actually watched the movie this time looking for the one black person. And it's like almost intentionally white, even to the point that they did La Crosse. Well, the choir teacher. That's right. Is black. She's black.

Oh, that's fair. Okay. Also not a terribly good actress. No. I don't know if you noticed. It's like, great guys. We'll see you on Sunday. I think you're overrating what, like if we put Dustin Hoffman and like, you just like Al Pacino in this movie, do you, how much better do you think this? Well, I guess it would be pretty weird. A lot better. It would be pretty weird if Dustin Hoffman and Al Pacino played Finch and Kevin. Do you think they ever staged on Broadway like an American Pie? Like a table read? Dramatically. Kind of like a Jason Reitman thing? That would be good. Yeah. Yeah.

Hoffman, Diane Keaton. Another one that's aged the worst. The actual soundtrack for the movie really should have been better. Yeah. I looked through it. It left me hanging a little bit. There were a lot of very popular 90s jams in the movie that are not on the soundtrack. Like Everything to Everyone, Slytherin. I have a list. Oh, yeah. Semi-Charged Life. Everclear.

Seven Charm Life was like dying to be in the soundtrack. This is because they couldn't afford it. They probably could pay for it to be in the movie, but not to be on the soundtrack. The Barenaked Lady song is in the movie, but not on the soundtrack. Fatboy Slim's on here, not used soundtrack. James Laid, not used. Yes. Verve Pipe, the freshman, not used. James Laid, though, I feel like the movie was sold on that. Didn't that appear in the trailer? That's in the trailer. I feel like that was a big... Oh, yeah, you're right. The trailer. It really revived that song. Trailer was good. Very good trailer.

What's aged the worst? I don't think we need to debate that one. Casting what ifs. Here's a good one. Bill Murray turned the world down of Jim's dad. Different movie. Weirdly. I feel like Bill Murray walks off that set like 20 minutes into it. He's like, can I see some tapes of Chris Klein? They're like, ah.

Allison Hannigan was initially offered the role of Heather, which I think was Tara Reade's role. That's Vicky. Or Mina Savari's role. Okay. Turned it down because she read the script and asked to play the band camp girl instead. Good call. Allison Hannigan also had a very successful career after this movie. She did. She's funny. She's a good actress. Her and Natasha Lyonne are actually good actresses, and they're kind of surrounded by a lot of people who don't know what they're doing. The Dion Waiters Award. Yeah, I got this.

Our nominees are Casey Affleck, who's in one scene. There's only one nominee.

There's only Casey Affleck sitting at a sushi bar talking into a 1999 cell phone. There's one, they only did one shot of him. I don't know what had to happen for him to be in this movie, but it is incredible. It is like, I forgot completely that this happened. Do you think he was friends with the Weitz brothers and they're like, we need you. And he's like, I have an hour. Yes, I do. That is what I think happened. Okay, let's like just briefly go over what was Casey Affleck doing in 99? It sounded like he was a big star. He wasn't. He had already been in Good Will Hunting at that point.

So I have some other Dion Waiters awards while Chris looks this up for nominees. Jennifer Coolidge is only in one scene. I actually think she's the favorite for this. What a 99 for Casey Affleck, by the way. Yeah. Also in 200 Cigarettes. Yeah. And then he wasn't really what we would call busy, but he was coming off of Good Will Hunting. He's also in American Pie 2, which I did not know. Don't remember American Pie 2. Nadia's in that again, though. I think she got out of the Czechoslovakian gulag. Somehow, yeah.

Yeah, he was just hanging out. He played a guy named Bobby Calzone in a movie called Drowning Mona. Oh, I've seen Drowning. Is Danny DeVito, did he direct that? Yeah, I've seen Drowning Mona. Great stuff. I have one more. Bobby Calzone is your new date. One more candidate for Dan Waiters.

Stifler's brother. The little brother. Oh, yeah. Who's in like Three Saints. Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. Very Ben Simmons-esque. My wife said that to me last night. She was like, does Bill know that that is his son? Bill's aware. He's got a very similar energy. Yeah. Did Bill see that scene? Or did Ben see that scene? No, he did not. Okay. No, he did not. So you vote for Affleck. Absolutely. I vote for Coolidge. You're right, it's Coolidge. Okay. Affleck's really funny. We should almost have like

some sort of cameo category because a heat check is a little different from from a cameo like affleck isn't it like that yeah coolidge is important to the movie but affleck is also very crucial to the story you know he presents him with that sort of raiders of the lost ark tome do you have one of those growing up no but i would say that i guess i will say that pornography was passed down from generation to generation i see which made for some pretty odd introductions to pornography i will say

Wow. You know what I mean? Like, like if you're in 1993 and then you get a Swedish porn tape from like the early eighties, it's like, that's a pretty weird way to get introduced to some of those apps. All right. Half-assed internet research. This is where I look stuff up on the internet and try to figure out what the hell happened with how much of it is true. It took four tries for this film to get an R rating instead of an NC 17.

Do you think it was like all three times they were like, what about this way of him fucking the pie? Yeah, they were like, can you not do the pie doggy style? Can you just, yeah. Can the pie be done doggy style? I don't know. Is that in play? Maybe. Okay.

Four American Pie movies, four directed DVD spinoff films. Can you name any of them? So there's eight of them? American Pie Presents blank. I remember American Reunion. I don't remember any of the spinoffs. American Pie Presents Bandcamp. Oh, yeah. The Naked Mile. Oh, yeah. The Naked Mile. Beta House and The Book of Love. Those all came out from 05 to 09. What's The Naked Mile? I don't know. Very similar to the, it's like the Will Ferrell scene in old school where he goes streaking, but with like 100 people.

Like a lot of people from the college go running. I've not seen any of those movies. The film was actually shot in Southern California, most notably in Long Beach. It was in the Long Beach high schools. Long Beach and the motherfucking house. To replicate an erection in one scene for the opening scene with Jason Biggs, the crew cooked a sausage, stuck it on a pencil, and wrapped it in aluminum foil. And it was still warm when it was placed between Jason Biggs' legs.

So there you go on that. Cool. If you're wondering how to fake a giant boner. It's a great story. We'll definitely bring that down to the ringer offices. The thing is, is that when I read about stuff like that, I really think about what we're not doing at the ringer. We're not getting stories like that. It's true. We need to make more memories with fake erections. The apple pie was from Costco. Yeah. I saw that tidbit. The pale ale stiff for drinks is actually beer with egg whites in it. Movie magic.

We know Chris Klein didn't know how to sing in this movie. Do you think he knew how to play lacrosse? No. I say yes. Neither him or Sean William Scott had any idea. No, they sell it pretty well. They practiced the sport for three weeks before letting their body doubles handle the sports. What is it that Sean William Scott says after he scores in the game? He's like, I am a lord. He says something ridiculous. Yeah.

In the sequence where you see all the boys working on the skills to get their woman in somebody's... To get a woman in somebody's bedroom. When you see all the boys working on their skills? I'm just reading from what I copy-pasted.

Chris Klein is watching the Women's Network and has a YM magazine on his lap with Katie Holmes on the cover. And he would date Katie Holmes? For five years. They're engaged for two of them. It was also the same year that I wrote a couple pieces for YM magazine. Did you really? Yeah. Can you remember any of the subjects? It was like 25 things your boyfriend doesn't realize or you don't realize about your boyfriend, stuff like that. Would you share just one of those things right now? Do you stand by them? I bet you have that in your archive somewhere. You don't have that? All copies have been burned as far as you know.

25 things your boyfriend doesn't want you to know. Is that what you said? Stuff like that. Was one of them every boyfriend in America has accidentally drank a load in a beer at one time or another? The line, say my name, bitch, ad libbed by Allison Hannigan. Okay, let's go. What's my name? Say my name, bitch! Michelle, Michelle. Nice job. Good job by her. They found it so amusing, kept it in the final cut. Let's go to Apex Mountain. Apex Mountain, where...

We decided this was the apex of somebody's career. Okay. And unfortunately for this movie, it was for a lot of the people. Yeah. I would say. I would say. Yeah. Go ahead. This is one of the unique movies we've done as one of these podcasts where I would say. Yeah. Sometimes we'll have nobody on Apex Mountain. All the people who came out better from this movie, this was not their Apex Mountain. Except for maybe Casey Affleck. I would say Coolidge, no. Eugene Levy, no. Would you say best in show for them?

Or Schitt's Creek? For movies, yeah. I would say Best in Show. Eugene Levy, I would say SCTV. SCTV, yeah. Sean William Scott, I feel like he peaked a little bit later probably.

When he got a $15 million check to do the third movie or whatever. I would say that was his apex button. Yeah, that makes sense. Did the rundown with The Rock. I think everybody else is in play as this might have been their apex. Certainly was for Tara Reid. Jason Biggs, I guess maybe Loser was... We haven't talked Biggs at all. I'm ready. You guys ready? Yeah. I like Biggs.

Biggs did a Woody Allen movie? He did. He's really online. He likes to tweet a lot, or he did. I thought he was actually good in this movie. I thought he was... Yeah, we're kind of shitting on everybody's performances, but he does the right kind of performance to be the center of a teen comedy. Really, the ones that were bad were Chris Klein, Meena Savari in this movie, Meena Savari in Thomas E. and Nicholas. I would say Tara Rae is a bit of a struggle. But she's...

It was never good at any point. But the thing is, these movies are all about how you position people, I think. Because Chris Klein is literally the same actor in election in the same year.

But that movie knew how to make his character. They leaned into his weaknesses to make him seem like an effective character. His teamness is played up. Yeah. Exactly. Was election after this? It's in the fall. So that was his apex moment. Probably. Probably. Because he's like, he's red hot. He's Chris Klein. I guess. He's in a bunch of hits. But when you watch election, you're like, oh, Chris Klein, he's good.

You never think that he's bad, even though he's basically playing literally the same character. A dumb jock in high school who's very earnest and is trying to do something but gets it wrong all the time. I asked my wife, Chris Klein, what's going on? And she's super handsome. Yeah. What's up with that one little piece of hair, though, that hangs down from his slick back look? Did you notice that? Producer Craig or Chris Klein? That was kind of like a post-90210 thing that was happening, though, right? Where guys would have a lock. Did you ever do that? No. No.

Not your look? Nope. The Joe Pantolioni award named after the best that guy in the movie. His name is Pantoliano. Pantoliano. He's not like a piece of pasta. Every single episode you do. I like to mispronounce it. Joe Scungilli. Joe Pantolioni. Joe Pantolioni. Yeah. The Joey Pants award. That's why we call it the Joey Pants award for the best that guy in the movie.

I hate to say it, but I feel like Eugene Levy is that guy for just about, not for us. At this time or forever? I think Schitt's Creek. I don't know if you watch Schitt's Creek. Chris, you just mentioned it. I think that has changed it for a lot of people because he stars in that show with Catherine O'Hara. Chris or Craig nodding. Nodding, yeah. Well, because it's on Netflix too, so people have been really getting into it. So he has become more of a figure in people's lives in the last five years. So who would your Joey Pants winner be? It's Shermanator.

Oh, Shermanator. Shermanator. Yeah, you're right. I don't even know that guy's real name. Good one. I think even in some ways, Natasha Lyonne was kind of a that guy. But now we know who that is. Before Russian Doll. Well, before all her drug issues. Yeah, that's true. That's true. This is a tough one. Chris Owen was in Major Pain, Can't Hardly Wait, She's All That. Can't Hardly Wait? Yeah. Another guy trying to get a late movie. Late 90s. He was in October Sky.

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The Saul Rubinick They Knew Award for overacting. Unfortunately, there wasn't any overacting, was there? Yeah. Okay. I think the lacrosse coach. Oh, yeah. So serious. Oz Striker, get back here! Where are you going? That guy's trying really hard. I think you were getting somewhere out there with Mina Savari. She has a couple of real overacting moments. She's just deeply offended. Yeah, she's not great.

Picking nits. Do we think Finch was overacting? No, Finch was perfect in this movie. You guys are super in the Finch hive. I love Finch. Picking nits. Going to pick some nits. We picked a lot of them already. I'm just going to get into it. Sean's not going to be happy. Oh, boy. There's a premature ejaculation scene. There's really no evidence after. And then there's a second one, and again, no evidence after.

How much semen do you think could have been in this movie while it still gets released? This is a plea for more semen.

He's lying next to her after. I just think there's a result. I'll put it that way. The movie decides not to show the results. And I think there are results. It puts all, all actions have results. I think they blew the semen budget on the IPA. Literally blew it. Yeah. Maybe that was the NC-17. Let's just go back. You're picking the nit that we don't see enough semen on the character's boxers. I think it's a much messier scene in real life. I see. Yeah. Well, you know, everybody's different.

Another nitpick. Uh-huh.

I'm positive video streaming wasn't that good in 1999. It wasn't good in 2009. Yeah. Ten years later, this scene isn't realistic. I can attest. That's a great point, SG. Thanks. That's really all I got other than the other stuff we mentioned. Those are the only nits you're going to pick in this movie? Do you have some? I have some issues with Stifler's house for the prom party where just you figure that high school is pretty big. The cottage? There's probably 200 people there and-

Just the guys get the rule of the roost with the three bedrooms. Nobody's barging in. They're all sleeping. And it's like nobody else was at the party. Yeah, that didn't bother me. I'm picking this. What do you think about Finch's plan?

To get all of the women in the high school interested in him. Oh, by going fake news with everybody? Yeah, exactly. Just selling fake news? But you didn't, they're not problematic at all? Well, they don't ever show really how it happens. Like, how does he get that stuff off the ground? Because like one second, he's like- Well, Jessica tells the whole student body, right? Oh, does she? That's the story, is that he paid her $200- I see. To spread the word that he was- Well endowed. Well endowed, good in bed, beat up Stifler, all this other stuff. Okay, I missed that. I'm sorry.

Must have been looking at my phone when that happened. It's a crucial plot point. Is it? Not really. I think I got the movie. I was more curious about his, like, he's got, he's like, because at that point, he's like laying out a putting green, right? Isn't that right around when he's like putting on the, on the, on the campus and then he leaves to go poop somewhere else? Yeah. I don't know. I just was, his whole bit is just so bizarre to me. I relate deeply. Best quote.

Fellas, say goodbye to Chuck Sherman the boy, say hello to Chuck Sherman the man. Enjoyed that? That was good. I get it. Oh, and this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. Excuse me? What? Comes out of nowhere.

It's a really good line. And then I also enjoyed... We've achieved so much in our careers. We're just going down in flames right now. Dude, I've been watching this about American Pie. What are we going to do, the G-rated version? And then I love when Tara Reade's talking to Natasha Lyonne about sex, or maybe it was somebody else. And it leads to the friend saying to her, wait, you've never double-clicked your mouse?

No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? I've never tried it. You've never double-clicked your mouse? That was good. It's kind of amazing how she's exactly who she is in Russian Dolls. She has the same vibe in this movie. That actually could have been a best of most 1999 moment in this movie. Double-clicking the mouse? Yeah, because I feel like by 2001, nobody's saying that. Yeah, it's all trackpads now. There's a really funny...

There's a really funny line. You got to get the essence of Stifler right at the beginning of the movie when he's like, I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap and fucking use them?

Wasn't it also a moment where Stifler walks up to Natasha Lyonne and Tara Reid and they're talking and he's like, what's up ladies? And he turns and he goes, bitches. It's like no reason. He's also got a full scene built around being insanely homophobic. Where he's just like, you guys are so gay. It's just like, there's like four Stifler scenes. That felt very 1990. Yeah, and we get shot into space now. As they should. Could this be remade as a 10 episode Netflix show? I actually would be intrigued by that.

I think that the closest you get to that in a way is American Vandal. American Vandal has elements of... It does. I think if you did it, you would have to set it in a certain year. You have to set it in 1986 or 1990. No, you wouldn't do it 2019 with social media the way it is and those kinds of things fueling everything. Well, I forgot to put this in what stage is the worst, but I just don't think...

You probably couldn't find five friends who still had their virginity in 2019, would be my guess. I think that is not really... Because you think kids are having sex much younger? I do. Okay. Let's do that on a different podcast. I do. I do, unfortunately, think that... I see. I do think, though, that this could work. This has been one of the most vulnerable, transparent rewatchables ever. Probably unanswerable questions.

Oh, I did this already. Has there ever been a Packter movie that didn't backfire? So here's the story. The question is, did this movie invent the MILF, the concept of the MILF? Apparently it did not. A 1995 Usenet post initially used the acronym predating the movie by four years, but the film is largely credited as being the one that popularized it.

I can't say I got my eyes on the Usenet post. How did you find that Usenet post? Or is this just like... I did. This is research. You wrote it. You composed it. Well, there's actually stories, if you research this, about did American Pie create the MILF? It popularized it. I think the vast majority, including the three of us, had never heard that term until this movie. True. I don't think so. And then it became a thing. How often in your daily life are you using the word MILF? Back then? In 99? No, now.

I'm afraid to use any words. That's why I enjoy the Rewatchables podcast. We get to talk about stuff. Yeah, free speech rings here. Free speech, which is... Yeah, which is... And then publicly broadcast. Can't judge. Like Nadia's show. Talking about stuff 20 years ago. We can't judge. Who won the movie? Affleck. MILFs around the world? Casey Affleck. Um...

You really love Affleck. You love that he's at a sushi restaurant and it took 40 minutes. It's like he's doing an entourage walk-on. It's great when he's like, you got to try this spicy tuna roll. This guy's eating a spicy tuna roll. It's like, what, he just ad-libbed that? That was amazing. And was that guy his friend or was he just giving that guy unsolicited sushi advice? And he wasn't really that famous then. It wasn't like having Ben Affleck. I know. It was like, here's the sixth guy in Good Will Hunting is in this movie for one shot.

And he's like, check out the tome about sexual technique and the tongue tornado.

It's like getting the third Hemsworth brother right now at a sushi restaurant for 40 seconds. That would be pretty creepy if you remade American Pie and one of the Hemsworths played the Casey Affleck part. So who won the movie? It's got to be the Weitz brothers, right? I mean, these guys, they go on to do About a Boy, and they're doing Golden Compass movies, and American Dreams, and they made a lot of different kinds of things. They made a lot of TV shows. They kind of...

succeeded largely out of this. I mean, like we said before, I thought in some ways like Hannigan and Leon wound up having like the best and most interesting careers in some ways. Leon definitely did not win this movie. I actually liked her performance a lot less than you guys did. It seemed like she was like 15 years older than everybody else in the movie. She seemed like she was like 32. Hot take from Bill. Yeah, sorry. It's just because Bill hates New Yorkers. That's the problem. I actually think

So in the moment, short term, Sean William Scott wins the movie. Yeah, that's fair. I think long term, Eugene Levy, Levy, Levy or Levy? Levy. Eugene Levy. Levy and the Weitz brothers. He comes out of this the best. I think so.

I think Biggs became like an actual known human being. Like we knew his name coming out of the movie and he got to be the star of other movies. But what's funny is like six of the people in this movie you could have said that about. Do you think Biggs? Like Tara Reid was a big star for two years. How long do you think before it like the, it wore off for Biggs where he was like, now every time I go into a bar, someone's like, pie fucker.

Does that get annoying after a while? Are you like, yeah, it's me. Yeah, I fucked the pie. He seems to have a great sense of humor about himself and about that stuff, so I'm not sure. I left out accidentally when we did the thing about what's the most 1999 thing about this movie. After it came out, Tara Reade started dating Carson Daly when he was on TRL. Yeah. That's very 1999. Yeah.

That's about as nice. That crossover is about as nice. The first family of American culture. It really was. So I would say Sean William Scott, short term. Eugene Levy, long term. I like that. I'm sticking with the Weitz brothers. I like yours. You like mine? Yeah. All right. Anything else? We're deleting this podcast right now, right? Do you guys want to go out and get an IPA? We're doing 14 more movies. This is definitely... I would say this is probably...

has aged the worst. This is the worst movie that we'll talk about. But it's also the most popular of the 15 we're going to talk about. It's really interesting. It's just not as good as the other ones we're going to talk about soon. Yeah. We have Eyes Wide Shut coming later this year, which I don't even...

I don't know how long that's going to be. I don't know how many people should be on it. Maybe we should just have a series of nude bodies around us while we record. People in masks? Yeah. Should we make producer Craig wear a mask? That's a good idea. So we have a whole bunch of stuff coming up over the course of 2019, celebrating 1999. If you want to check out more on the year in films, check out theringer.com because we did a whole week recently about how great this year was. So, yeah.

That's exciting stuff as well. The Rewatchables 1999 is presented by Luminary. Thanks so much. Thanks, Producer Craig. We will see you next week. All right, that's it for the podcast. Craig Horlbeck produced, as always. Thanks to Chris and Sean. And we will see you next week on The Rewatchables. We might keep this theme going. There's still a couple movies I want to do. We also have a couple holiday movies we're going to do in December as well. Stay tuned for that. See you next week.