‘Risky Business’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan
01:48:29 Share

Hey, can I talk to you? Over 25 years ago, on September 29th, 1998, we watched a brainy girl with curly hair drop everything to follow a guy she only kind of knew all the way to college. And so began Felicity. My name is Juliette Littman, and I'm a Felicity superfan.

Join me, Amanda Foreman, who you may know better as Megan, the roommate, and Greg Grunberg, who you may also know as Sean Blundberg, as the three of us revisit our favorite moments from the show and talk to the people who helped shape it. The rewatch begins on March 13th. Listen to Dear Felicity on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no better feeling than a personal win, and the State Farm Personal Price Plan can help you do just that. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. On August 16th, the scariest movie of the summer, Alien Romulus is coming to theaters everywhere, including IMAX.

This movie looks terrifying, and I cannot wait to see it. Alien Romulus comes from Fede Alvarez, the director of intense horror movies like Evil Dead and Don't Breathe, and it is produced by the legendary Ridley Scott, the mastermind behind iconic films like Blade Runner and the original Alien. Can't wait for this one. Alien Romulus, rated R, in theaters everywhere, August 16th. Get your tickets now. The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer.

Podcast Network, where you can find Chris Ryan on the watch. It's on the big picture sometimes. He's here. And Chris, the dream is always the same.

Risky Business is next. I don't remember giving permission for a party, Joe. A party? You ever get high, Joe? I'll never do anything stupid. Please stop! There's a time for playing it safe and a time for Risky Business. Starring Tom Cruise. Rated R.

All right, CR, a formative movie for me, a formative movie for you. Really a formative movie for me because I saw it in the theater when it came out and I was like, this is kind of changing my life. And then Craig Horlbeck producing, usually for us, but not today, when we made him watch it. And he was like, if I saw this when I was 15, this movie would have changed my life. And I was like, yeah, welcome to Risky Business. So many places to start. This movie launched so many different things.

Where do you want to start? You want to start with Cruise? Or do you want to start with 80s teen sex comedies? Well, I'll just give you the list of things this movie launched and why this was always on the short list of rewatchables. It launched Tom Cruise, who is now, this is his 14th rewatchable movie that we've done. Leads the league. He's the Babe Ruth of the rewatchables. It launched Rebecca De Mornay. It launched Joey Pants. It did. In my opinion, I think it did.

It launched Bronson Pinchot. It launched Curtis Armstrong, aka Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. It launched Steve Tisch and Jon Abnett, who did a lot of good producing stuff. You could make a case it launched Ray-Bans. I'll hear it. I'll hear it out. I know they existed, but I think this was the most famous movie version of Ray-Bans ever. It launched David Geffen's film company.

And it was the apex of teen 80s comedies, which was a whole air in itself. So you go. Okay, so I think there's a bunch of different ways to go here. But I, I think that this movie is also like way deeper than just being a teen sex comedy. And that's what makes it a rewatchable is that there's lots of like horny movies from this time period that you can go to if you just want the jokes.

But this movie is so perceptive and smart about capitalism, about what it was like in 1983, about Reagan being president, about the kind of values that were being given to high school kids at that time. And I was a little, obviously, younger. This movie comes out when I'm going into school, when I'm going into kindergarten. But...

I still feel like the residual vibes by the time I hit my teens in the 90s of like getting out from under this movie and a lot of the stuff it espouses and going back to it. It's just as fresh as like the first day I saw it where you're like, not only is this thing just made within an inch of its life, it's so well done. Yeah, it's so deep.

It is. And it's so different than every other movie that came out that was trying to do a lot of the same things. And that's why this movie immediately became beloved. It was like, oh, you think it's this, but this is actually a real movie. Like, I mean...

Could you say this could have been if Michael Mann ever made a 1980s teen sex comedy? I was joking with you about this. This is like basically thief, but horny. You know, it's like thief in high school. Horny 18 year old thief. A lot of the like trappings that would, you know, Mann starts out messing around with, with the tangerine dream music, with the kind of cinematography that he's using. And it's also the Chicago setting, which is interesting.

There is a definite through line from this to this guy, Paul Brickman, who's kind of only done one or two things over the course of his career. But this movie was basically this noir, super stylized vision of teen male sexuality and frustration. And it's so much more interesting than it has any right to be. If it was just high school kid nervous about getting into college,

opens a brothel in his house while his parents are away on vacation, I'm sure it would have been fine. I'm sure it would have been like, that's a funny movie. That's like Porky's. That's like whatever. But instead, it's like this incredibly deep film about like basically the hollowing out of the American dream. Yeah, I'm with you. Did you think that or did you were you just like this is this is this is like a sex fantasy. Like when you first saw it, were you like there's something else up with this movie?

All right, so I'm almost 15 when I see this. And this movie came out and then All the Right Moves came out a couple months later and that was, this movie became a hit. So then All the Right Moves became, we talk about this sometimes on the pod, the next one. Yeah. Where it's like somebody becomes a star, whatever the next movie they put out, people are gonna go. The best example ever was Julia Roberts in Dying Young.

where it's like, or Flatliners, that whole run, anything she did, people are like, oh, Julia Robertson, and I'm going. When I saw it,

Had really no background with Cruise other than... Taps, right? Yeah, he was like the crazy guy in Taps. Yeah. But I barely remembered he was in it. I didn't know who it was. And then he was in Losing It with Shelley Long, which I think during the early days of HBO was on a bunch, but certainly never thought anything major. But it was so clear he was a star. And part of the marketing of this movie was like, this guy's a star.

Rebecca Dormer, you've never seen her in a movie before. She's also a star. This is the smart version of all the crappy teen sex movies that everybody's been making for the last couple of years. It's competing against...

People always mention Porky's, but it's also like, you know, Class with Andrew McCarthy and Rob Lowe and Losing It, which Cruise was in. And so there's this whole genre. They're making those kind of movies. Private School with Matthew Modine. But then there are also... Fast Times. The John Hughes Fast Times era is also happening concurrently. And this is the only movie that kind of merged both worlds, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, Fast Times obviously has...

it's fair share of like horniness and sex comedy, but it's also like really deep. It has like these really heartbreaking moments in it. But you wouldn't say Fast Times was like exceptionally well-crafted, you know? It's a really good movie, but this movie is like stylish. Risky Business is like,

A couple of the scenes, even like when she has sex with him for the first time, Rebecca DuVernay. And the doors blow open, yeah. Yeah, and the doors blow open. We go, they're fucking on the staircase and the camera's painting through all his childhood photos. And then it cuts to her riding him on the chair. But it's like, this is like Miami Vice shit. And the American flag is blowing in the background on the television. You know what this is? I would say, honestly...

I am sure if people are listening to this, they've seen it already, but there's almost like, you remember how like in eighth grade, they teach you Lord of the Flies to start seeing like, you know, symbolism and subtext and metaphor and stuff like that. There's a lot of that in this movie where you can be like, Joel's last name is good son, you know, like right at the end of the movie, the egg has cracked and he has like lost his innocence. Like he's smoking cigarettes. Yeah. He's smoking cigs. He's wearing Ray-Bans.

And I think that there's just like a lot of really good bones to this piece of writing and this filmmaking. I mean, the guy who shot this is one of Clint Eastwood's go-to cinematographers throughout the 70s and 80s, Bruce Ortiz. It just looks incredible. And then there's like the music that kind of basically locks you into a time and place, which is the Tangerine Dream stuff.

I would say it's one of the best in the moment soundtracks of any movie because it's got all the, this is peak Tangerine Dream and they were in Thief that we talked about them in that one. And they're floating around for five, six years here. The old time rock and roll Seeger scene in some ways was the best and worst thing that ever happened to Seeger because Seeger was kind of like the

The Working Man's less famous Bruce Springsteen and the Detroit guy. And then Like a Rock were the two things that commercialized. I'm a Seeger guy. Sure. This commercialized Seeger. This scene, him dancing around became so famous and it was ripped off, I would say, for years and years in different ways and in commercials. So you have that song.

In the Air Tonight, I think that's by Phil Collins, the first time this was used in a movie. Yeah, because Miami Vice is the next year. Next year, that's the Caroline.

Was it real? Hungry Heart by Springsteen. Springsteen was not in movies. I don't know why he greenlit being in this one, but he's in there. DMSR by Prince, which was always like one of the best, like early 80s Prince songs. And then Swamp by Talking Heads. Yeah. But it's all like the best versions of those songs. And then there's other stuff in there too, but it just feels very 1983 to me. The movies that came out in 83 were,

that were pop culture-y. Flashdance, Trading Places, we did that one. War Games, we're going to do that at some point. Vacation, we've done it. Terms of Endearment, which was a phenomenon. Big Chill, we've done it. Scarface, we'll eventually do it. But it feels MTV is happening at the same time. Letterman's happening. Eddie Murphy's cresting on SNL. And it just feels like pop culture is shaping everything.

In all these different ways, right? But, you know, there's also like that element of like, think about those movies that you just list off. Flashdance. Do it again. Flashdance, like... Flashdance, Training Places, War Games, Vacation, Terms of Endearment, Big Show, and Scarface. How many of those movies are kind of about

you know, a bunch of people or a character to thinking, you know what? I don't really feel like life is fair in this country. Yeah. It's too fucking hard to make a living. I see people, they're flashing their wealth in these more and more exorbitant ways where they

80s are fully underway at this point. And you got Trading Places with these guys doing this swap. Flashdance is about a woman trying to get out from under this steel town. National Lampoon is about how hard it is to take your kids on vacation. And then you got Risky Business where this kid is basically like applying the theories of being a future enterpriser to being a pimp. Right. Well, and there's other ones too. Like he does all the right moves later in the year.

Similar theme, right? This kid's in Pennsylvania. He's just trying to get to college. I'm just looking through box office mojo, making sure I didn't miss anything. Porky's 2 the next day. I guess that doesn't qualify. That's also about how hard it is to be an American. Easy money. Oh, Class came out this year. There's three Stephen King movies, Cujo, Christine, and The Dead Zone all came out. Valley Girl.

One of the things I think with the movies back then, and I don't know if they're the same anymore, and I don't know what era is better than the other, but these movies really captured a slice of life in these different parts of the country.

in these really, really deep, cool ways. Yeah. And I don't know, maybe TV has taken that over. Maybe we just feel like with the internet, we kind of have a feel for all this stuff. But like, I didn't know anything about Chicago at all, except for what I saw in a movie. So much of my life, Chicago has been a setting for, for film or for films. You know what I mean? Like my whole idea of Chicago for most of the, my childhood was like,

suburban Chicago. It was John Hughes movies. It was risky business and stuff like that. So it's, you're right. I think a lot of stuff gets shot in one of four places because the tax breaks are good. And we just don't really have a lot of like feeling like so much stuff looks like Vancouver and Atlanta because that's where they shoot it. Right. Yeah. Like all the right moves. I didn't know anything about Pennsylvania. It's like, oh, coal mining town. Okay. What's this like flash dance little bit somewhere, but you would go into these

And you'd really dive into them. We talked about this when we did the officer and a gentleman podcast. Same thing. It's like, Oh, what's going on here?

We're in like East Bumfuck, Washington. And every 13 weeks, there's a new crew. And every 13 weeks, these two women have a chance to maybe marry one of the guys. And if they don't, on to the next crew. And it's like, this is amazing. What's going on here? Crews. I think this rarely happens where you just kind of know somebody is going to become a star.

I will say the one thing I didn't really fully understand watching this, because he was a little dorky and stripped down. I didn't see the sex symbol side of it with him. You know, I wasn't looking for it either. But what was one of the things that was surprising to me was watching him become like a, a

a favorite target of the ladies. And it was like, Oh, that's happening from this movie. Cause to me it was like, he was so good at being like this nerd who could kind of see the chessboard, um, but couldn't see the chessboard at the same time. And he was calling people buster. Hey,

hey, hey, Buster, F you, and doing that stuff. I did not see Top Gun coming. I got to be honest. We have, over the course of 14 Rewatchables pods on Tom Cruise, probably dissected his on-screen sexual chemistry quite a bit. His kissing style, his everything. It's kind of weird to see, like, this is like the Tom Brady combine photo version of him where you're like, huh, what?

I can kind of see it. It's got a four, eight. Yeah. He has the frame, right? Like, but it is kind of interesting to think about like,

there's pictures of him from the time, like paparazzi pictures. There's this incredible black and white picture of him and Rebecca Dean Mornay, like at a party. And the Hollywood reporter. Yeah. And he looks like James Dean. Yeah. It's like, he was really like, he was a little bit of a bad boy at that time, or it was kind of coded as like, he may look like a clean cut guy, but he's also like, well, fuck the babysitter. And that changed obviously over the course of the,

Well, really more like once he gets to the Mission Impossible movies and he's just like kind of a robot. But like, you know, back back in the day, it was like him and Sean Penn were not dissimilar in terms of their like onscreen personas, at least for a brief moment in time.

Yeah. You read all this stuff from that era and so many of those actors are all coming up at the same time and a lot of them knew each other. But Timothy Hutton, when we did Ordinary People, Timothy Hutton won the Oscar for that and was maybe two years older than, two to three years older than almost all of them. Yeah. He got the Mark Sanchez, the car keys. Yeah. They were Timothy Hutton, the car keys.

So then they're on taps and Sean Penn and Cruz are like Timothy Hutton. Someday I want to be like that guy. So he was kind of the older brother for it. But then Sean Penn and Cruz became friends on that set. And Sean Penn is filming bad boys, a movie that we've done the rewatchables in Chicago. Yeah.

As Cruz is filming this, so they're hanging out. Curtis Armstrong wrote a book about all this stuff and was talking about how Sean Penn and Cruz are hanging out and going out all the time. Then you got Rob Lowe and you got Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez. And Swayze's a little bit older, I think, but he's coming up too. See Thomas Howell.

So it's just a slew of them. And there are all these white guys competing for the same roles basically around the same age. Yeah. And honestly, from the Curtis Armstrong stuff and even from Bronson Pinchot's stuff, like it doesn't sound like Tom Cruise sounded like a little bit of a dickhead back then. Like he wasn't the it wasn't the buttoned up like everything is like run through a machine in my public persona yet.

Right. He was more like, Hey, I thought Tom has shown up. Yeah. I don't know where he is. And then Curtis Armstrong was saying how, um, the movie ended and he like basically never talked to him again, even though they hung out all the time. The other thing I'll step on half-assed internet research now. So Rebecca Dorme, DeMornay shows up and has never been in a movie.

but she's Harry Dean Stanton's girlfriend. This is the only piece of half-assed internet research that you ever need to know for the rest of the run of this podcast. Listen, rarely do we pull something out of casting what ifs and half-assed internet research and move it to the main segment. This has happened three times maybe in the history of the pod.

I'm surprised Joe Biden should have led with this at the State of the Union. He should have been like, my fellow Americans. Harry Dean Stanton used to date Rebecca DeMorday. Harry Dean Stanton, who's 25 years older than her at that point? 20? Yeah. He had just played Brain and escaped from New York.

And he gets this script because they're trying to get him to be Guido the Killer Pimp. And he's like, you should read for this. And she wants to break in. So needless to say, she crushes the audition. Does, by all accounts, not awesome with Cruise, but they were like, fuck it, let's roll the dice. So she gets it. And now Harry Dean Stanton is coming to the set every day. And this is all recounted in Curtis Armstrong's book. But Cruise and De Mornay...

are starting to, there's a fire being lit. And basically, the movie's getting filmed and it's a love triangle with Harry Dean Stanton, Rebecca DeMornay, and Tom Cruise. This is an actual thing that happened. Yeah, and I think it's in Curtis Armstrong's thing where Harry Dean was like offset but like staying in Chicago while they were shooting it and would spend all day swimming laps in the pool for hours. Yeah. I love this detail. Yeah.

like just fucking swimming like niad to nowhere because his girlfriend is hanging out as his girlfriend's riding cruise in the living room for two straight days filming the american flag yeah yeah well i mean you would have bought cruise stock after this movie and i did i also bought a ton of rebecca demore stock

And I think afterwards it was like the slugger's wife and it just never really happened for her. And I don't know, I don't know, bad choices, whatever it was, but when she kind of circles back, what, nine years later with Hand That Rocks the Cradle and she's amazing in that. And it's like,

why didn't we do better here? What happened with everybody? Every guy I know is in love with her. And she was a good actress or pretty good actress. I never got it. I mean, I think in the same way that you're talking about Tom Cruise and the generation that he came up with for me, De Mornay is probably, I don't know, maybe a hair younger. I'm not exactly sure, but like you have to imagine she's doing stuff. Debra Winger, Sissy Spacek, uh, Meryl Streep, uh,

How about Roadhouse? She couldn't have been in that. Like there's like seven. Her and Sharon Stone. With all due respect, I think Rebecca De Mornay was probably dreaming bigger than Roadhouse. Her and Sharon Stone and Kelly Preston. I just don't understand why they weren't in more stuff. Yeah, but I think what you're saying is that you thought De Mornay was probably in that Winger Spacek street group of. I don't know. No, I don't know. I wouldn't say that as much as. Jessica Lange, you know.

I didn't see seven Oscars in her future, but I thought she was going to be an A-list star. I didn't know what was next, but I felt like more big movies were next. And maybe it was some of the choices, people she dated, I don't know. But she's one of the, in this movie especially,

she's riveting in every scene. I feel like nobody is blowing her off the screen in any moment. And every time she is in anything, you're noticing her and you're watching her. Well, she's perfect because she is the flame and you are the moth. Like, you know, you know that you're in trouble. You know, this isn't going to end well. You know that this is, this can't possibly be happening.

And, and, and it's, but she's not like a femme fatale. Like she's not evil. She's got the same values as Joel. Like they just want to make money. They're just doing it in different ways or the same way. So for the people, I'm told that sometimes people listen to this podcast without ever having seen the movie. The premise of this movie is Joel's parents go away, which was the premise of, I would say 50% of the eighties movies that involved high school kids.

And his friend Miles is like, oh, I'm going to call this girl. And he calls one of those ads in the back of the thing. Jackie comes in. Let's just say not exactly what Joel was looking for. But she gives Joel a number for Lana, Rebecca DeMornay. Because it's what all white boys off the lake want. Oh, yeah. Comes in, rocks his world. He goes to get money to pay her.

comes back, his mom's prized egg is gone. And now this movie becomes a chase of getting, finding out where Lana is, how can he get the egg back? But the big question in this movie, is she conning him from the get-go? Is she conning him as we get into the movie?

Was she never conning him? And this has become one of those, I've had real arguments about this where people are like, oh no, she knew from the get go. Jackie was in on it. They were like, oh, I found this guy off the lake. I bet you can run a game on him.

There's a flip side where she doesn't know any of this. And just at the end, what happens when Guido gets his stuff back and she wasn't involved at all? Where do you stand, Chris Ryan? It kind of depends on how cynical of a person you are. I think it's when I was a kid and I watched this, it never occurred to me.

Right. When I'm an older person now, I watch it and I see a lot of ambiguity to her behavior, but I don't see it necessarily being like this master plan because if it's a master plan, did it really culminate with...

having a reverse yard sale? Like, is that is that that was like, I mean, what if they could they gotten the deed to the house? Could they have like, you know, why destroy the Porsche? Why not steal it? Like there's tons of things that could have been a little bit more lucrative than just winning back the money that Joel and also he destroys the Porsche. Yeah, but but she is so this is the perfect example.

They have a very purposeful shot of Lana going into the car to get her purse and taking the parking brake off. It's an accident, but it also seems like she did it a little bit on purpose. Right. And the entire movie is her creating a dependency for Joel on her. Like, you need me to come back to get the money so that you can pay off the car. You know, I have the egg. I will bring it to you. But first, you have to do this. It's always like this transactional thing.

I just don't think that it was all part of like a master plan that goes back to Jackie. Is there any part of you that thinks there was no master plan at all? Yeah. I mean, the part of me that's still like a teenager who's just like, what if there is a hooker with a heart of gold? Maybe she loves him. Yeah. This is a famous rags to riches movie where it starts at Warner Brothers. Brickman has a deal to write and direct.

Warners puts it in turnaround. Now it happens. Abnet and Tisch decide, oh, we really like this. They take meetings everywhere.

And at that point, the prostitute thing becomes an issue because Night Shift has just come out. I don't think people realize how beloved Night Shift was going to be. I can't believe I haven't done that in the rewatchables yet, but it didn't do well in the theater. It's too bad we're not doing sex work month. Is it too late? Wait, what day is it? It's March. What'd we do? Can Roadhouse, can we squeeze Roadhouse in?

Sex work, bud. Who just started a week late? I'm not against it. Best little whorehouse in Texas. It's only because of Leap Day. That's why we got screwed up. Leap Day. Yeah, fuck that. But they were worried about the prostitute thing, so they couldn't sell it. And then they showed it to Geffen, who's launching Geffen Films. And he says, I love it. What if we raise the age of Lana so she's 21? And they're like, okay.

and now Geffen makes it and we're off. That's one piece of the romantic story of this movie, how hard it was to make. The other was the director, Paul Brickman, who was so upset that they changed his ending that it really seems like it transformed his desire to ever direct movies. He only makes a couple more. This guy might have been Alexander Payne.

I completely agree with you. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like if Alexander Payne made election and was just like, yeah, I'm good. I'm not going to make any more movies. Yeah. I mean, the idea that this dude is just like, uh, working with like Michael Mann and, and, and Ethan and Joel Cohen chops and also applying it to like these pretty interesting ideas about like,

money and sex and the union of the two and then he and had a sense of humor and has a sense of humor and has an eye for casting and has like a sensibility for music and and and style and everything and he doesn't make another movie I mean does he make men don't leave right

Yeah, like seven, eight years later. Now, this is like a tragedy along the lines of like, what would have happened if Len Bias hadn't died and had played for the Celtics and shit like that? I'm like, what would have happened if they had just given Paul Brickman his ending? Would he have made 20 movies? I don't know, man. I mean, this is like, it's a pretty common Hollywood occurrence for people, the executives to come in and mess with the ending and make it a little softer. We've done this a hundred times. I mean, maybe Paul needed a little bit more

Of a bulletproof sensibility when he's like, all right. Yeah, maybe he wasn't in his skin wasn't thick enough to handle Hollywood. To your point, I think the reason why there's such a debate about Lana's behavior is the end of the movie that he shot. And we'll get into this, his original ending. You're like, yeah, like she's she's essentially tacitly admitting that this was at least partly a game for her or a con. It's way darker. On the other hand.

We'd always heard about the alternate ending and it had always been discussed. And anybody who ever, once Wikipedia and all these places were in motion and the oral histories and anniversaries started getting, like, we'd always heard, oh, there's this other ending. I always expected it to be drastically different.

Then the end of the movie and it's really not. No, it's just in the restaurant. It's shaded a different way and it looks cool because she goes. The lake in the background? Yeah, he's like, are you all right? And she's like, it feels like she wants to tell him more. And he's like, come here. And she sits next to him and he's like, no, come here. And she sits on his lap and they wide shot it. And it's a fucking great shot Gordo. Because they're on like the 95th floor of that John Hancock tower. You see the lake behind them.

And it's just a great shot. And for some reason, it broke Brickman's heart that he had to get rid of it. Yeah, I mean, they're basically two orphans. Like, Paul's, Joel's parents are, like, way more concerned with their goods and their stuff than they are with him. And they only want him to get into Princeton. And then she is, like, basically out on her own. And they find each other, but they can't hang on to each other. It's really sad. Yeah.

I think it's devastating as a movie fan that this guy didn't make more movies. He had all the goods, man. He could have been one of the most talented people of that decade who was making pop culture movies. Yeah, it's weird. The idea that he is making this and it's right around when Cameron Crowe writes Fast Times and then a couple years later is doing Say Anything and stuff.

Right, imagine Cameron Crowe just stops after Fast Times. Right. It's not enough like my novel, yeah. Yeah, I'm out. I'm never writing another movie. It's fucking crazy. The script change, Geffen pushed for a happier one and they went back and forth and they decided to test both endings and the happy ending tested better and Brickman said, I felt the whole film was compromised by this cheesy happy ending. I came very close to walking off the film and then Abnett said it was extremely painful.

No possible way to see eye to eye. I was in the middle of it. I disagree with David about it to this day. Geffen recalls it was wildly higher, the testing for my ending of the movie. David Geffen's like, I do not give a shit. Geffen's like, I win. Higher, higher score. And the bad blood was so bad that there was no premiere for the movie.

Not even for like the cast. Wow. The movie just came out because Brickman was so mad and that was it. It came out and it made 60 million bucks because Bill Simmons went and saw it like 15 times, right? Oh my God. Every single person in, I was in eighth or ninth grade, I think we all saw it. And if we didn't see it, we saw it when it was available to rent or it was on cable. One thing with Brickman is,

So he wrote a bunch of stuff before. This is the first one he directed. One of the movies he wrote really early was Bad News Bears are Breaking Training, which is one of the great sports movies. I fucking love that movie. That's another one we're going to do at some point. But it's a really like clever, funny movie. And, and I don't know, I just, there's the sliding doors with that dude where I really feel like he could have been one of the guys from that decade.

Yeah, it's a shame because you hear about this happen sometimes with people who the changes that are made to their work, they're basically like unable to ever get over it. But like, the thing is, is that we have this like auteur romanticism about Hollywood that they're going to let everybody make their final cut movie. And like, it's just like, there's just not that many people who have that kind of control over their work. So it's a shame that he wasn't like, well, I'll get them on the next one. Or maybe the next one, I'll write into a place where

I don't have to worry about the ending because it has a, you know, a feel good ending or something like that. It's like, he doesn't, he doesn't like go on. If you listen, if you watch the YouTube on YouTube, they have the director's commentary over the final original ending and you can still hear it in his voice. He's just, yeah, this is, this is the vision that I had that you're about to see. You're about to see my ending to the film. And you're like, fuck, this guy still feels it, man. I don't know if this is true, but,

there was some stuff that he hadn't seen the movie in like 20 years or 25. Like he couldn't watch it. It was too painful for him. Uh, $6.2 million budget made 63.5 million. Our guy, Roger Ebert. Oh my God. Four stars.

He said, "One of the smartest, funniest, "most perceptive satires in a long time. "It not only invites comparison with The Graduate, "it earns it. "Here's a great comedy about teenage sex, "a movie of new faces and inspired insights "and genuine laughs. "It's hard to make a good movie "and harder to make a good comedy "and almost impossible to make a satire "of such popular but mysterious obsessions "as guilt, greed, lust, and secrecy. "This movie knows what goes on "behind the closed bathroom doors "of the American dream.

Raj fucking slinging it. Great stuff. But I mean, like Brickman not working again is like that story Larry David told on my podcast about when they asked him to make all these changes to the Seinfeld. And he's like, no, I'm not going to do that. I quit. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, no, no, come back. Like, what if they say,

All right, fuck you. We'll do it with somebody else. Then do we get Seinfeld? I don't know. I mean, how many times does this happen in TV and movies over the last 50 years where there's the sliding door? This seems like what happened with Brickman. Yeah, I would really love to have seen like five more movies from this guy. Yeah. Today,

Today's most rewatchable scene is brought to you by Nissan SUV. If you ever wonder what's around the next corner, what happens when you push further, what's over the horizon, then you need a Nissan SUV. The 2024 range includes the Nissan Rogue with class exclusive built-in Google, the Pathfinder, and the Armada. Go find your next adventure with a Nissan SUV. Learn more at nissanusa.com. Most rewatchable scene.

Would you do the dream is always the same? I would do the first 10 minutes as like the dream and the reality like that. Yeah. The dream, the story. Well, first of all, the credit sequence. Awesome. Great. So credits with like the slow version of the trains going by.

and the dream slash these dipshits playing poker. So I have the poker game, and if we want to just make first 10 minutes that great. Miles, did you have your bike there? So you rode home and whacked off. So you rode home, I bet you pedaled home, then you whacked off. I think you got the hell out of there, ran home and whacked off. Right. I disagree. Do you have your bike there?

I think you jumped on your bike, pedaled home, and whacked home. And just the interaction of those five guys. And apparently they filmed a lot of improv. And it feels very early Apatow-ish. Sure. One of those, like, get the cameras going, just make fun of each other, make some jokes, and do that. And then Miles and Joel outside. Sometimes you got to say, what the fuck? Make your move. I remember giving you this speech when we were at Grantland. CR.

What the fuck brings freedom? Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

So your parents are going out of town. How many movies from 1977 to 1985 involved somebody's parents going out of town? Would you say like 22%? Is it almost impossible to explain to anybody born after a certain era, like what kind of absentee parents we grew up with? Well, and also like they had no, it's not like they had simply safe security cameras, you know, like showing who was coming in the front door. No mobile phones, no ring cameras, nothing. Yeah.

They don't have air tags on their stupor eggs. Anytime my wife and I are going out, my son's like, so when are you guys going to be back? I'm like, why are you asking? But don't you kind of, what do you think the experiment, what kind of experiment would it be if you were just like, leave Ben on his own for two weeks? It would be an absolute catastrophe. There's no way I would do it. There's just no way. It would be risky business, the 2024 edition.

I would have like a TikTok house going and also be a call girl. I'm also fighting Jake Paul on Netflix. Dad, I made $28,000 doing a prostitution ring and I'm fighting Jake Paul. I lost it all on Bitcoin. Did dad watch this with you? No.

No, I wish he had. I actually think he would have paid attention for this one. I mean, it was one of those when we told Craig we were doing it and he said we hadn't seen it. Rarely does this happen. We're like, oh man, shit. This is, you just, I almost wish I could enter your body for two hours. Next rewatchable scene. Oh wait, before on the what the fuck scene.

Do you believe in the what the fuck as a life kind of guiding force? I think sometimes you have to say what the fuck. I think the thing that's so interesting about Miles' speech there isn't so much what the fuck as much as he ties it to business ideas and the ideas of opportunity and success. And what the fuck should be like throwing caution to the wind and letting your hair down. But he's almost like using...

the language of like punk rock or hippiedom and these countercultural ideas to like be like but we can use this to like get well to make money right yeah rewatchable scene the frozen dinner right into the seagull dancing it was so good to see frozen dinners again

I know they kind of still exist, but you don't. They're too good now. You guys don't understand. Yeah, you guys don't understand how important chunky soup and frozen dinners and Stouffer's mac and cheese and those French bread pizzas. We only had like nine of those things. Yeah. And we also had microwaves that might have been nuclear. Like, I'm not entirely sure. Like, you would turn a dial and they would be like, don't get near this at all. Right. Right.

You didn't have Postmates or any of that stuff, obviously, back then. There was some delivery, but there were nights where you're just like, I'm hungry. What's in the freezer? It's a Stouffer's French bed pizza that's covered in an icicle. I have to thaw the icicle off or the Hungryman. The Seeger dance scene, completely improvised. Cruise was just instructed to dance to rock music. I'm not sure they knew what song was even going in there yet.

I'll quote Craig one more time just to say he was like, this movie is so much more than that dance scene.

And I do think that the dance scene has become bigger than the movie. No question. That's how my kids knew it. My son, when he was like five or six, my daughter was filming videos of him wearing a pink shirt and just dancing around our thing and imitating this because somehow they knew about it. I don't even know how. It's like we let them watch the movie. I also think this Seeger scene is funny because it's a window to where we're going with Cruise.

The try hard stuff. Yeah. It's like, just file this one away. We're going to be going on a ride with this guy when he goes for it. He's going to be really going for it. So five years later, did he go to Brickman and say like, what we need here is this guy having like the night of it, the night of his life. Cause like any other teenager would have like watched wrestling and

eaten chocolate, gotten drunk, jerked off and gone to bed. And this guy does. Yeah, gone under dad's bed to see if there are any porn mags. And this guy does like a full Broadway musical scene. Yeah. I think it was in the script and then I think Cruise is like, what if we, what if we did this and just tilt it a little bit. But yeah, within five years he's,

you know, juggling cocktail, juggling vodka bottles in the, where are we sitting? The Bahamas or? Yes. Where'd they go? Is it Jamaica or the Bahamas? Jamaica. He's juggling vodka bottles in Jamaica and he's doing the werewolves of London scene and the pool movie, all that stuff. Call her money. I'm just putting get off the babysitter as a quickie rewatchable. Cause that seems so fucking funny. Joel.

Get off the babysitter. Joel, the house is surrounded. Do exactly as we say and no one gets hurt. Shit. Get off the babysitter. Put on your pants. Come out with your hands up. Please, Joel, do what they say.

Just get off the babysitter. Don't throw your life away like this. Listen, you goddamn cunt. You'll never have a future. Not if I can help it. You got that? No future. It's just so good. It's not long, but it's... And also we get our guy Ron Dean, who was in The Fugitive. We talked about him when we were in Chicago. Every Chicago movie needs Ron Dean. Yeah. And guess what? He's playing a police sergeant.

All right, the car chase. So we end up at the Drake Hotel. They're trying to find out what's going on with Lana. And all of a sudden, they got dad's car, the Porsche. I got a lot of thoughts about that whenever you want it. And all of a sudden, she's like, hey, can you give me a ride? And now they're in a car chase with Joey Pants. Yes, with Guido. A.K.A. Guido. Leading to Miles ripping off like five classic lines.

including, I don't believe this. I've got to trig midterm tomorrow. I'm being chased by Guido, the killer pimp. All I can tell you is I remember in the theater when he said that, and if you watch after, like it's just a wide shot of the car for a little bit.

People laughed and applauded at that line. Really? It fucking brought the house down. It's such a good line. It's delivered so perfectly. I don't believe this. I've got a trig midterm tomorrow and I'm being chased by Guido, the killer pimp. Everything Miles does in the car was, I think I'm going to throw up.

I think I'm going to throw up on you, Joel. He's just crushing it. The car chase is really fun. I think people in my mind, when I think back of 80s comedies, I think of like it being bigger and broader and maybe more like John Candy and stuff like that. But these are my favorites where it's just like these like one liners that are kind of like Fletch and kind of like

And this and to some extent, like even even stripes and stuff like that, where it's just like these little like sides that are just crack you the fuck up the more you watch them. I don't know what's really happened to that. Well, I don't know. I mean, like for a while there was so much comedy stuff was like basically like being improv. So I don't know if it was.

you know it's like those are those i'm pretty sure that that was like a lot of it was as written you know i'm i would guess culminating in porsche there is no substitute and miles goes fuck you really important porsche moment though uh we also had one a little bit later when the porsche goes in the lake so this movie has a couple wow moments right it's got the uh

Or I should say wow moments. Just like memorable. Oh. Like the dancing. Him having sex with childhood photos. We're like, whoa, all right. We're doing this. Him ordering Jackie and not realizing who Jackie was. But then it goes to another level with the Porsche. And then later when his stuff gets stolen. This movie does a good job of...

Oh, Jesus. I didn't realize that was going to happen. Yeah. The shock value is good. It's it's you don't really know where the movie's going. It could be like, yeah, it could just be like, oh, Joel wants to lose his his cherry to Lana. But like it goes in all these different weird directions of like being a caper to being like a con man movie to being like a kind of sexual thriller. It's really kind of awesome in that way. Yeah. When Guido when the in the car chase scene, when he's knocking on the window.

Open the door, open the door. And then he brings out the car. Yeah. I'm sorry, brings out the gun. He taps it and he's like, open the door. And Miles is like, start the car, Joel. Start the car. All of a sudden, now we're in like this Michael Mann movie. Yeah. Open the door. Lana, when do I get it back? Start driving. Open the door. You gotta open the door. Hey, buster. Oh, fuck. Get out the car. Just start driving. Start driving now. Why don't you start the car, Joel? Hey, I'm not driving.

Get out of here! Start the goddamn car, Joel! The Porsche going in the lake, we get stoned Tom Cruise, who, if he wasn't stoned, did a phenomenal job of making me think he might have been stoned. Very good stone Tom Cruise. I would not have expected that. And then the car rolling down the hill, it's just an unbelievable 40 seconds. And then it stops and it's just dead quiet on the bridge. Oh, thank you.

And then boom. Yes. What is it? I really don't want to step on this too much because there's, I want to talk about this more when it comes to double feature, but I have to bring up the similarities between Risky Business and Ferris Bueller.

So there's a lot. There are a lot of things in it. Including that the houses were right next to each other. Yeah. And it's suburban Chicago. And it's like this kid who's trying to like decide what to do with his future and figure it out. Like how he feels about women and stuff like that. But what the fuck was up with these dads with these cars that couldn't even be looked at? Right. Yeah.

And the dad's got something under a tarp and it's like, no, you could drive the station wagon. And it's like Cameron and Joel both have these absolute monsters sitting in the garage. Yeah. I was like, what a moment. He says that in the airport, he's like, should I start the Porsche to make sure the battery's still running? No, you are not to touch the car, Joel.

Leave it in there. Don't go near it. The Porsche going into the lake is just a wow moment and leads to, I think, another really well-crafted scene when he finds out he gets mad at the nurse. He gets suspended. He's losing it. Yeah, he's really unraveling. Glenn gives him his bike and Cruz does the, he goes to find Lana.

and goes up the stairs. And the way it's shot, it just feels like he's losing his mind and they're shooting and he's running up the stairs. He's running and it's like frantic. And then he sees her. And they do this a couple times in this movie because they do it when they drop the parents off too at the airport. The camera from his perspective going toward the characters, it's really cool. It's like a little Jonathan Demme-ish but reverse. Yeah, and if your team, this is all a con, this is good evidence for it because you would say she pushed the car into the lake

She asks him if they can do the brothel and he says no. Then she pushes the car into the lake and he's in dire straits financially and he's got to get this car fixed. I love when the mechanic is like, who's the U-boat commander? And she pushes the car into the lake, let's just say. And then he comes running back to her because he needs her again. So you create this like, I mean, it does in that moment feel like it's a con. I'll do a picking it now.

I'm not positive the Porsche could get knocked out like that and just start rolling down the hill because she pushed something. She gives it a little nudge. I think when that car's shut, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but those cars are pretty...

carefully constructed. So you think if it's in park, did she take the parking brake off or did she put it in drive? It seemed like she hit the parking brake or she knocked it in neutral. But even if she knocked it into neutral, so unless he forgot to do the parking brake, I don't know. She introduced me to her friends.

I introduced her to my friends. This whole scene. This is my rewatchable. It's breaking bad. All of a sudden, he's got the Ray-Bans. He's got cigarettes, although we never really see Tom Cruise smoking. He always has the cigarette, but we never see it. Stan and the burger joint, and they're going through the, what does it cost to go on three dates? Do it. Go through it. What does he say? He says, all right, so it's like, what, 30 bucks for movie and dinner? Yeah.

You leaving a tip? Hold on, pull it up. There's gas, that's $6. He's just laying out. It's $36. All right, so you took her to dinner twice. What'd that cost you? About $30. With tip? Okay, maybe $35. Movies, any movies? Three movies. $20. Roughly. Parking. I'm parking on the street. Gas. Maybe $6. All right, Stan, you're in for roughly $60-odd.

And what happened? She slept with Jacobson. Oh, my God. Yeah, it basically winds up being 60 bucks. And he's like, you can just be with I can I can get you laid for less than that. Right. I love all of this. And what was great in the 80s watching it heading toward high school is it felt realistic. Like this could actually happen in my town.

There could be some sort of brothel situation. And by the way, I'm bringing 50 bucks. I'm in. What time? Eight o'clock. I'll get to have sex with somebody. This sounds great. Then we get the party.

Which is also awesome. And really, really well shot where you always know where you are in the party and there's a lot of stuff moving around. It's cool too because you spend so much time in that house that you kind of know the layout of it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, oh, they're actually really having a party with prostitutes and horny teenage boys and they're going for this. And then Talking Head Swamp's playing, but then all of a sudden Rutherford shows up.

And that's another one of those moments in this movie where you're like, oh my God, they're doing this? Who does college admission interviews at like 9 p.m.? Right, 9 p.m. on a Friday? Kind of a weird time. Like, you're not my parole officer, man. Like, we should schedule this. Leading to not quite Princeton material, are we? And then Cruz with the sunglasses. Looks like the University of Illinois! Which for me and my dad was a running joke during the entire college process. Every time. Yeah.

It was like, oh, I got rejected from another one. It looks like the University of Illinois. Did your dad find that funny? Probably progressively less funny after a couple of rejections. So you're in on the Rutherford 9 p.m. Friday interview? Oh, no, I have no idea what he's doing there. I feel like there would at least be a follow-up kind of scheduling, unless he's like, I'm dropping in to get the real you. Yeah.

Well, he stayed after a little while to talk to the girls. Yeah. Uh, Joel buys his stuff back. Yeah. I don't know if you can go $40 on the artsy fartsy thing was funny. Joey pants is great in that scene. And then, uh, the ending on the 95th floor, John Hancock tower. And I gotta be honest, may I, sorry, Paul Brickman.

I kind of like the new ending. You do? Well, I like the, my name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. Yeah. I grossed over $8,000 in one night. Time of your life, huh, kid? It's a good ending. I know. I also like the other ending with the wide shot and the lake, and you could have given me that one too. But I don't think this is a bad ending, I guess. Yeah, I just think it's a little bit sweeter. It's like, hey, that happened, but like...

But like, who knows? Maybe down the line, like we'll get together. It's got like a little bit more hope. So what do you have for most rewatchable scene? I definitely have like Joel turning into the pimp and the blues playing while he's walking up and down the street and goes to the gas station, working the guy at the burger joint. Like it's just so, it's so funny. I love the car chase.

I like Lana in the front passenger seat, some of her reactions where she's just laughing at one point. I like Guido as a fucking maniac. I like the chase where they're just doing a circle for like two minutes and then he gains enough steam to veer the other way. I enjoy that. Today's most rewatchable scene was brought to you by Nissan SUV. Go find your next adventure with the 2024 Nissan Rogue with class exclusive Google built in. You've always got an up-to-date assistant you can call on forever.

almost anything. No need to connect your phone. You've got Google Assistant Maps and Play Store built right into the 12.3-inch touchscreen infotainment system. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. All right, Woodstage the best.

We talked about this, but my folks are out of town. Yes. Just as a premise of a movie. What's the longest your folks left you alone during high school? They left for like nine days in 1986 during the Red Sox Angels game.

ALCS. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. Don't think I didn't have a party either because I absolutely 100% did. Did you try to clean it up and pretend like you didn't have a party or did you say, I'm going to have some friends over? No. Because one of my favorite tropes of these is the manic dash to clean up after the party. But it's a bunch of 16-year-olds cleaning. Yeah, that's terrible. Casting.

Somebody named Nancy Copper did the casting for this. She had just done her first movie ever, Eddie and the Cruisers. And she's like, I got this guy, Joey Pants. We're going to, what about him for Guido? But Nancy, talk about two for two. Wow. Yeah. What a great job by her. I don't know what happened the rest of her career, but what a start. We mentioned the De Mornay love triangle. CR. So if I ever talked to Ben about just life, I

I think one of my rules with him is if somebody says to him, what if I said I'd be your girlfriend next couple of days? No charge. You've probably made some bad choices. Oh my God. No charge. It's like, yeah, maybe go back to the drawing board. They got incredible apps now, man. You don't have to do that. I have cruises, different faces.

Really, nobody's unearthed a better Hall of Fame collection of faces than Cruz. The, oh my God, the hooker is here and Jackie was not what I was expecting face. The, I'm about to have an orgasm on a train with Lana the hooker face. The, my Porsche just went into the lake and I'm completely fucked and I've been suspended for five days face. Like he's just ripping them off left and right. It's pretty great. It's awesome. Yeah.

What do you have for what's aged the best? A couple of things. I got, it's the, the stupid egg, the crystal egg that the mom has. Every month, everybody's mom had like this thing that was irrationally valuable. Yeah. That you didn't understand like why they cared so much about this one thing.

Right. That was always the thing that you were most likely to damage. Right. It almost made you want to damage it just to damage them. It was always just like, just so you know, don't ever walk into this room. I was like, I'm only going into that. Yeah. You know, that sounds great. The other thing that was like, my dad was a big audiophile. So the dad being really into his stereo equalizer. Yeah. And be like, these are the settings. I remember what they are. Don't fuck with it is really funny.

I bought this from Buck's Stereo Superworld. What was Buck's place called? Boogie Nights? Buck's? And it's more and more bass. And then the last thing was just like, it's really awesome to watch this movie and watch Lana and Joel like switch in and out of characters over the course of the movie because, you know, his parents are gone. And so they'll have sex the night before.

And then the next day they will basically like dress up as mom and dad. Yeah. And like, she's making eggs and he's like, you know, mom sends her love and stuff like that. Like he's like acting like his dad or he's acting like he's in this adult relationship and everybody does that. Like she'll wear a Princeton sweatshirt one day. Like, you know, it's kind of this, this switching that they go, they do is so cool to watch over the course. And it's, it's really, it's really, it's the best. A couple of lines that I thought age really well, I guess I could have just put this in great quotes.

It was great the way her mind worked. No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialties. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate gratification. What a capitalist. What a capitalist. That's so good. This is another movie that has good narration. I might have to dump my narration thing. I think I just noticed one bad. Yeah, we've done too many movies where I'm like, you know what? Narration, pretty good at that one. Yeah, if it's Tom Cruise or Ray Liotta, I think it gets a pass for sure.

My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place? That was one of the ads Miles wrote. Also, when he comes back and his friend Glenn had had sex with one of the prostitutes and she's like, 50 goes to the house and he goes, I am not the house. He's so upset. Just leave, please. We're not exactly whipping you off or anything. Here. Here.

What is this for? 50 goes to the house. You're the house. I am not the house. Okay. Just leave. I mean it. Uh, please Joel do just what they say. Just get out the babysitter. And then I love the, when, when he's like, what's going on with us? He asked the questions and he's like, yes, no, maybe. And she does the yes, no, maybe, maybe the way she delivers that. She's just awesome in this movie.

More what's aged the best, the sunglasses were the Ray-Ban Wayfarer model and apparently they weren't selling well and then they skyrocketed by 2,000% and

the Ray-Bans basically credit this movie and Blues Brothers as being the best marketing of all time for them. How much value did Tom Cruise create for Ray-Ban in the course of four years? Could he have gotten 5% of the company? Between this and Top Gun. Like the Aviators and the Wayfarers. Like that's the...

Those are basically the two most famous pairs of sunglasses in history. And he's tied to both of them. It's incredible. And then there's a whole weird thing about when Joel first takes the Porsche for a spin and backs out of the driveway, Sean Penn is driving the Porsche for some reason because they wanted to throw him in the movie. When he's backing up and the music stops and goes off because he stalled the car and then he turns it on again. And I don't know why they did it that way, but it was Sean Penn.

I have one more. Can I just do one more? What's the best? I literally think you could put this Tangerine Dream score on any movie, any movie since this movie has come out and it would be 5% better. Like you could literally use this score on Oppenheimer and I would be like, man, Oppenheimer had another gear. But what's weird is they had this run and it ended. I would have thought they would have been like John Williams where they're like 92 and still doing Tangerine Dream songs.

Pretty great. All right, we'll take a break, hit the rest of the categories.

But just remember, really, the only words you need to remember are like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. They've got options to fit your unique insurance needs. Meaning you can talk to your agent to choose the coverage you need. Have coverage options to protect the things you value most. File a claim right on the State Farm mobile app and even reach a real person when you need to talk to somebody. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Finding out Mint Mobile has unlimited talk, text, and data plans for only 15 bucks when you buy a three-month plan is kind of exhilarating. It's hard to believe something that good can be true. It's like the first time you watch one of the great old shows. Maybe you're a little younger than me and you're like, you know what, I'll give The Sopranos a shot. And then you're four episodes in, you're like, oh my God, I can't believe that's this good.

That's this deal with Mint Mobile. It's this good. To get this new customer offer, just go to mintmobile.com slash rewatch. That is mintmobile.com slash rewatch. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month for a first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 GB on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

All right, some quickie categories. The Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award for Best Needle Drop. You could do Tangerine Dream with Upset Joel racing to find Lana after he finds out he's been suspended. Or you just go right to In the Air Tonight. Yeah, so I think Old Time Rock and Roll, I think, is the best needle drop because it's the one that's the most iconic from this movie. Oh, I guess that did. Yeah, that does qualify. You're right. But for me, Love on a Real Train is like just absolute jam. Yeah, I'm with you.

The Den of Thieves Benihana Award for Scene Stealing Location. I kind of like being in the Drake. Famous Chicago hotel. Me too, I had that. I had the Drake. This is a great idea, Joel. Where else can you get a hot chocolate for $4? Miles had like 11 great lines in this movie. I wasn't sure if Lake Michigan would qualify for Benihana as it is a body of water. You know, it's like... Oh, that's a good point. I love Lake Michigan as the backdrop to stuff. What do you have for Great Shot Gordo? I had...

the shot all from Joel's perspective when he's about to drop his parents off from the airport and she's showing him around. He's like, do you hear something wrong here with the, that's too much bass. And then he drives them and they go. And I just like how they did that. I have, uh, Joel calling Lana for the first time. I'm putting the catcher mask on. With the catcher's mask on and checks cashed flashing in the background. And it's like, oh man, this guy fucking cashed a check right here. Yeah. Could you have done this movie blind?

Like, could I have done it without notes? Like, if I called you 20 minutes ago and said, we're doing Risky Business. Well, I mean, it's like, there's too many lines in it that you want to write down. And I think also, like, watching it this time, I'm like, oh my God, like, there's little details. Like, there's little things like, did you notice that, like, basically throughout the movie, Lana's always picking up and looking at Joel's mom's stuff? Right. Like, I didn't notice that, like, the first 10 times I saw it. You know, I just, yeah. Dreaming of a simpler time when maybe she could have been Joel's mom. Yeah.

The Vincent Chase Award. Are we sure this character was actually good at his job? Guido the Killer Pimp. What's going on here exactly? So is he in this to scam Joel or is he in this to be a successful pimp?

That's the question. Why does he have such bad control over his girls? Why aren't they that afraid of him? How do you get them to come back in the end? As pimps go, he's got a pretty good sense of humor. You know what I mean? Like he has a temper problem, but like, you know, so far,

It seems like in this movie. Is he big enough to be a pimp? I just, I don't know. I just love him with a lot of questions. Some of his, his like measurables don't quite add up to you. Yeah, I just think he, I think he gets murdered about six months later. I had a different Vincent Chase though. What do you got? The Princeton admissions guy. Oh, well, come on. He's pretty easily swayed, you know? Come on. If I'm Lori Loughlin, I'm looking at him like, what the fuck did I do? The Butch's Girlfriend Award for weak link of the film. I didn't have one.

I had one. I think it's too hard to move all the furniture back in the house within like 45 minutes. Oh, that's a nitpick for sure. Yeah. It's an actual weak link. I think they should have built in a little more time where they're moving the stuff back and then the plane lands or...

You know, they're bringing a grandfather clock. Like it's just a piano. I mean, the mom should notice like this is not the way I love things. Plus the house doesn't smell of cigarettes like or other things. Yeah. Or other things. There's like how many how many orgasms have happened in that house? My God, there's not some condom stuck against the ceiling. It probably looks like the bed in Basic Instinct. Yeah, that you just kind of have to overlook that one. What's aged the worst?

Going into the airport to drop your parents off. Yeah. Actually walking in and seeing them off. When was the last time that happened? 2001 spring? The Chivas Regal and Coke with the frozen dinner, which also is the winner of the Big Kahuna Burger Award for best use of food and drink.

That's age the worst. That's so disgusting. It's so funny though because it's exactly what you do the first night the parents are gone is you just pick the thing that you think is the most elegant liquor. You pour it wrong. Yeah. And you're eating, you basically are drinking brandy with your dinner. Yeah. I'm going to guess there was no liquor left in the house. Not a drop. By the end of that. What's age the worst?

teenage kids named Joel do you think we've had one in the 21st century uh that's a fucking awesome question it's like my son's like hey Joel's coming over today but you have a friend named Joel that that name died 30 years ago is his dad Paul Brickman uh

Well, I have a couple, but what do you have for what's it worth? Just a bunch of teenagers who have savings bonds. Yeah. When's the last savings bond? I think I remember getting a bank book when I was a kid, and I think my grandfather bought me a savings bond. But the idea that I could get into my safe deposit box to access this and then use it

on prostitution is pretty far, far flung. I think in the last 15 years, it's Amazon gift cards, Apple gift cards, like whatever, like that's where you're, you're not getting a savings bond from your 78 year old aunt anymore. You're just getting like an Amazon gift card.

And then I don't really know how to play cards, but I don't think the guys in this movie do either. It's rough. I almost decided to do like a 10 minute breakdown of that poker scene because it's brutal if you freeze frame it, but it's not even pointless. Yeah. The only other thing I had is like, I don't know if you read the Bronson Pinchot stuff about working with Cruz, but it does not sound like it was pleasant. No, it didn't sound like they liked him that much. And in his defense, he was in a love triangle with Harry Dean Stanton. He didn't have a lot of focus. They're stressed out.

I thought future enterprisers has aged the worst from the standpoint of what our society values 40 years later. I didn't even have a future enterprisers. That's like your goal is to get rich. I think, isn't that basically what Instagram is? Yeah, true. Yeah. Now it's just social media. Uh, the Paul Brickman stuff, not to dive into it again, but, um,

So the movie he made in 1990 was called Men Don't Leave. It had Jessica Lange and Chris O'Donnell. It's pretty good. He explains it all these years later saying, the success of Risky Business was strange because I had Hollywood coming at me full throttle. I found it very uncomfortable. I moved out of LA immediately. People threw material at me left and right. Some people like the visibility. I don't. I'm more from the J.D. Salinger school. He was offered Rain Man. He was offered Forrest Gump. And even now he's like,

He admits he squandered a really good career, quote,

And he said maybe he didn't take advantage of Risky's success the way he should have. Yeah, with all due respect to Risky Business, it's not Catra and the Rye. So I think maybe the J.D. Salinger track was the wrong one to choose. Yeah, we compared it to Alexander Payne earlier. We're not ready to go J.D. Salinger. You also compared him not making a movie to Len Bias. Well, I was talking about like a tragedy. Yes. I still have Len Bias, sir.

Was there a better title for this movie? The original one. It's pretty good. I mean, I think Risky Business is you can't top that. But White Boys Off the Lake is the original script title.

I don't think it would have done it as well, but 40 years later, it's a better title. Yeah. It's like, oh my God, how many times have you seen White Boys Off the Lake? I hope someone in music history has named an album that, because that's a great album title. How many black people are in this movie? That was another thing that jumped out to me. I don't want to say it's a what's age the worst because of where they were in Chicago. Sure. You know, Breakfast Club is the same way. Well, you know. Well, Bruce A. Young, who this is, this is one of my, that guys, but

Bruce Young plays Jackie is also Moselle in Color of Money. Right. Which is incredible. We talked about that when we did Color of Money. Tom Cruise is like, oh, we got to cast Moselle. Can I make a suggestion? Right. Nuts. Best quote, got to be what the fuck. If you can't say it, you can't do it. What do you have for the Stephen A. Smith hottest take award? Are you ready? Yeah. Risky Business is the prequel to Eyes Wide Shut.

So it's basically lines up right. If if this character had gone to college and then med school. Right. And then gotten married and then was living in New York in 1999, but still has that little kinkiness to him. Oh, yeah. Curious about the Fidelio out there. Two weeks with Lana. Like he's still thinking about it. And how amazing would it be if like Lana was one of the girls at the.

At the party. She's murdered in the first hour. Oh my God. But like, I basically think like,

It wouldn't shock me if Stanley Kubrick saw Risky Business and was like, I think Tom Cruise actually can pull this off. Yeah, there's a dark side of him. I don't know if he's had better chemistry with a female in a movie than he does with De Mornay in this. I don't know. I mean, it would be this Emily Blunt. Sexual chemistry, probably not. No, it's like Emily Blunt in Edge of Tomorrow, maybe, or something.

The cop in Days of Thunder who turns out to be a stripper. That's right. That was pretty good. My hottest take. I think this is the second best Tom Cruise role ever. Oh, wait. So when you mean you mean character character slash role. OK. I think Jerry Maguire is number one.

And I think I'd put Joel Goodson above any other character or role he's ever played. So above Pete Mitchell, above Ethan Hunt, above Vince from Color. Ethan Hunt was a TV character. So that's like, you can't even count that. Top Gun, I like Pete Mitchell, but Pete Mitchell, he plays that same character seven times in different movies. He only plays Joel Goodson once, never goes near it again.

I was thinking Eyes Wide Shut potentially. But once you get into like 2004, he's just playing, you know, Tom Cruise action person over and over again. I like it. I really like the Joel Goodson character. It's cool. It's complex. I think Ron from Born on the Fourth of July. I think Charlie from Rain Man, both interesting. So I had Charlie third and I had Born on the Fourth of July fourth. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Casting what ifs. Timothy Hutton, first choice for the role of Joel. Turned it down to work on a movie called Daniel with Sidney Lumet. Rob Lowe in his autobiography claimed that he turned Joel down.

A positive, I believe it. Sean Pangaris, Denise Kevin Bacon, John Cusack, and Tom Hanks all auditioned for the role of Joel. Tom Hanks was like 28 and had been on Busy Buddies already. I think this is true. Michelle Pfeiffer was offered the role of Lana and turned it down. The ones for Lana are Sharon Stone, Kim Basinger, and Brooke Shields. I want to talk about that. But there was one other Joel rumor, which is Michael J. Fox. Yeah.

Oh, man. That movie is, it's DOA if that happens. He basically, like Alex Keaton is Joel. Right. But they, you can't, it's too weird. Yeah. Nobody wants to see Rebecca De Mornay riding Michael J. Fox on a recliner. It's just, there's no way. It's not happening. Michelle Pfeiffer, though.

It's a different movie. I don't know if she throws herself into the sex scenes the same way. She's not sultry like De Mornay was, but she was also beautiful. I almost think she would have seemed too famous to be Lana the prostitute. Yeah. I don't know if I would have bought it. Whereas De Mornay is like, who is this person? It's just buyable enough, you know, where you're like, ah, I could see this. Yeah. So they're one of the things that Kim Basinger turned down the role of Lana because she didn't like the script. I don't know if that's true.

We talked about this when we did Creed, like 20 years from now, it'll be like, you know, oh, 17 people were almost Adonis Creed. And it's like, no, we were close to the movie and we know all the people. But I think as the years passed, they just started adding whoever was good looking. Tom Holland was going to play Ricky in Creed. Right. We should start doing that 25 years later. Who's who says that they were going to be in the movie? Yeah. Fake, fake, fake news. Disinformation. Yeah.

Sinatra allegedly considered for the Royal Guido. I think that your fucking brain would have fallen out of your head if Frank Sinatra had played Guido in Risky Business. They thought he was too serious, too old. They worried about some of the athletic stuff. It would be kind of gross.

I got to say, I don't believe this one. It's on the internet. A lot of this stuff is half-assed internet. I just don't believe it. Like Tom Cruise was going to be with Frank Sinatra and risky business. I don't, I'm not buying it. It is, it is funny how like you just, you just will never let go of how cool Frank Sinatra is. He's the fucking coolest man, the chairman. He wouldn't do that. Not my guy. The chairman, chairman wouldn't have done that. There's no way.

The Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting word. I'm going to give this. Oh, who do you have? Well, it's a pretty reserved movie. I mean, like, it's pretty. Oh, no, there's a winner. Is it Pants? No.

His friend Glenn. Oh, yeah. When he paid the hooker to have sex and they're leaving. He's like, no, I didn't have sex with Lana. Don't ask me about Vicky. And then he does a... Does like this crazy Austin Powers laugh. It's like, what movie are you in? You're a maniac. I didn't think that guy was very good. Well, I mean, this is really special. The Joey Pants Best That Guy Award. It's got a movie that made Joey Pants a that guy.

It's hard not to give it to him. But I want to mention Joel's parents. The mom, I still don't know what the mom's name is, but I've seen her in 20 other things. And I was like, Joel's mom. And then Joel's dad is...

eventually had a long run on 90210. I think his name's Nicholas Pryor. He's been in a couple of rewatchables movies, but then eventually became Chancellor Arnold during the college years of 90210. His daughter Claire dated a bunch of the guys and he kind of just became Chancellor Arnold. It's weird. Yeah. So I think Janet Carroll plays the mom and then...

Yeah, like Glenn also, the guy who plays Glenn, Raphael Sparge, has been in a bunch of stuff. He's been in a bunch of stuff. I think you got to give it to... Our guy Ron Dean. And then don't forget about Richard Mazur. Oh, yeah, that's right. Chris Rutherford. Who I think is, I think he's Richard Mazur and not a that guy. Bruce Young to me is the that guy it is. Richard Mazur was the bad guy in a child pornography TV movie called

that won an Emmy. That was one of those, like, this is all of your family should watch this tonight. One of those movies. A very special, yeah. It's the most special TV movie. And he was really good at it. Every time I saw him after that, I thought of him as the pedophile from that thing. But yeah, I mean, this has to go to Joey Pants. Sure. As does, I think, so is Dion Joey or Curtis Armstrong? So Miles is eligible, Curtis Armstrong's character.

Don't sleep on Nurse Foley. Only has one scene. She's great. Jackie the hooker. Yeah. Richard Mazur. And then I think Vicky, who's not in it enough, but Vicky has some fun moments too. I love Vicky in this. She's great. Vicky's great. Is it true Megan Mullally is in this? I didn't see her. I couldn't find her. Yeah, I couldn't. She's in it, but I couldn't see her. I'm going to say Miles because I don't think he's in it enough. I think he qualifies and he has unbelievable ends.

Recasting couch. I didn't think Raphael Sabarge was very good. Who would you cast instead of his horny friend Glenn? Could it be like a Judd Nelson type situation? Would you go Emilio Estevez? C. Thomas Howell? Maybe spend a little more money on C. Tom? Does Sean Penn, if they can get Sean Penn to do two days, do you think he would be a good Glenn? Or do you think it would just be too edgy? Oh my God, it would be amazing.

So Sean Penn is Glenn. Sean Penn just banging people in Joel's house. Yeah. Would this movie be better with Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth for the director's commentary? Oh, Mike, she just wants to make love on a real train. You gotta love it when the girls... She loves trains, Mike. The girls love to feel the motion of the ocean, Mike.

They're going to do it on the train, Jim. Jim, the American flag's blowing in the background, Jim. It's symbolism, Jim. Jimmy got the homeless guy off the train. They're going to do it, Jim. It's a big scene right here for Joel. The egg is his innocence, Jim. It's like Lord of the Flies. He's got to get his stuff back. Mom's at the airport. He's got 45 minutes to get that grandfather clock in there, Jim.

Jackie's not what he was expecting, Jim. He's got a hot read. I don't know how many more movies, episodes we have with Romo or Collinsworth. It might be less than three, but I enjoy it every time. It's going to get old fast. Oh my God. It's going to get old fast, Jim. Half-assed internet research. Cruz was 20 when they filmed this and they wanted to make him look a little more teenage. So they did a weird thing of training where he worked out seven days a week, lost 10 pounds, lost

stopped working out, and then ate fatty foods to make his face a little more fatty. Yeah. And that's how he looked like a teenager. Yeah. Joel's house located at 1258 Linden Avenue in Highland Park. Ferris Bueller located 370 Beach Street, Highland Park. And if you Google Earth, it's very close to each other. Oh, okay. So Ferris and Joel were neighbors. Yes. So Joel would have been...

a senior when Ferris was kind of like a freshman basically. Right. Cause Ferris is a junior in his year. That's very interesting to consider those two roaming in same circles. Yeah. Like Ferris definitely tried to get into the hooker party, but he was too young. They kicked him out. He was, maybe he was the guy jumping in the window. Cameron's just home watching wings games, like watching Blackhawks games. Yeah. The crystal egg was made by, uh,

A century old manufacturer named Steuben Glassworks, AKA Steuben, located in Corning, New York. Curtis Armstrong's book said that Cruz was laying a lot of pipe during the shoot. He makes it sound like he's, he's doing a lot of scouting in Chicago. Like quite a swordsman. Yeah.

Do you think Cruz was like, I'm making the check payable to Curtis Armstrong? It's like, Curtis, I heard you're writing a book. What if I told you I could fund that book?

Brickman said the marketing campaign for this movie was like they're trying to sell Porky's. They had a cartoon character of Tom winking in bed with girls in bikinis all around him and money raining down. That's the poster they wanted to use. This is my big fight. I just want to say I would buy that poster right now that's available. Yeah, I'd love to bid on that poster wherever it is. But the actual poster is iconic. Actual poster's great. I also like the raunchy Porky's version of the poster. Sounds amazing.

So four 1978 Porsche 928 models used in the movie, a collector tried to track all of them down, found the only one which sold for 49,000 in 2012. And then nine years later, 1.980 million, $2 million for the Porsche. That's a weird one for me because-

Yeah, cool to have. But in 50 years when nobody knows what risky business was, what are you going to do with this $2 million Porsche? Who's going to be impressed by this? It's like Tom Cruise. People are like, who's Tom Cruise? And also there's like one living German mechanic who can fix it. Right. I'm going to say waste of money. Apex Mountain, Cruise, obviously not. Brickman, definitely. High quality 80s teen movies. I'm going to say it's either this or Fast Times in the finals. And I'm going to go with this.

I don't know. I mean, is Say Anything 80s or is that 90s? It's 80s, right? No, it counts. I think Say Anything is probably a Bex Mountain for me. Okay. I'm going to go with this. Chicago movies. How about Chicago suburbs? And I think the Rushmore. Chicago suburb movies. Is Home Alone, Ferris, this, and then what would you put forth? Home Alone, Ferris, this, and Thief.

Thief uses the suburbs really well. That's true. Why not? Porsche. So Porsche was obviously doing really well at this point. I can vouch firsthand. This movie directly influenced an entire generation of young kids who were like, someday I'm going to make enough money that I can drive a Porsche.

I think this was one of the best marketing campaigns of all time. Did your dad have a car you weren't allowed to touch? Yeah, my stepdad did, not my dad. Your stepdad? Yeah. What was it? I'm not going to say. Oh, yeah. Yes, I had a motorcycle. Was it a DeLorean? Like, why can't you say?

Apex Mountain for pimps? I think Dolomite. I think that there's some bigger pimps. Huggy Bear on Starsky and Hutch? Yeah. I think pimping had bigger cultural footprint. This is tough. In the Air Tonight? No, it's got to be Miami Vice, right? It's got to be Miami Vice. In the Air Tonight isn't the first song I think of when I think of Risky Business. It is the first song I think of when I think of Miami Vice.

finishing last all the times in the last 12 years when some aging sports producer on a major game decided he was in the air tonight and thought he was being cutting edge. Yeah. It's like, the song is now 41 years old. Settle down, guys. Joey Pants, no. Rebecca De Mornay. I mean, technically, I guess, Rocks the Cradle is a bigger movie. And then she does Backdraft right around there, too, as well. Right? Yeah. She's kind of in big blockbusters at that point.

I just feel like her career should have been better. Bronson Pinchot, no. The Drake? Pretty prominently featured. The Drake's not in Fugitive. Yeah, it is pretty prominently featured for sure. I feel like the Drake has another appearance in something. Like somebody's staying at the Drake in some other movie, but I can't think of it. Let me just look really quick.

I'll move categories as you're looking. Racehorse or fantasy team name? Risky Business as a racehorse is just a great name. Oh, the Drake's My Best Friend's Wedding. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I was trying to remember. Risky Business as a racehorse? I like that. Guido the Killer Pimp as a racehorse? What about White Boys Off the Lake as a racehorse? White Boys Off the Lake or as a fantasy team name? I think those are all good.

This episode is brought to you by Coffee Mate. Coffee Mate is the world's biggest coffee lover. Whether you're brewing over an open fire at the top of a mountain or blasting it in the microwave for a quick reheat, Coffee Mate has unconditional love for all coffee lifestyles. We keep Coffee Mate in the fridge here at the office. Let's give it a try.

That one that you just heard me take down, that's Italian sweet cream. It makes me feel like I'm sitting in an outdoor cafe watching life go by in Florence or Rome or somewhere. Coffee Mate can make any cup of coffee into anything you want. If you want an Italian kind of pastry feel, if you want a hazelnut, if you want the French vanilla, it doesn't matter how you do it. You do you.

Coffee mate, for the love of coffee. This episode is brought to you by the all-new Toyota Camry. Just like those films that get better with every watch, the 2025 Camry has outdone itself. It's a total vibe with impressive fuel efficiency, agile handling, and a comfortable, intuitive interior. It elevates the ordinary to the extraordinary. Plus, it's a hybrid, so you can spend less on fuel without sacrificing power or performance. Whatever your vibe.

It's a Camry vibe. Learn more at toyota.com slash Camry. Pick your nits. I have a bunch. Well, how about this? You go and whatever you say that... All right, let's just have this conversation. Not to put too fine a point on it, but is Joel a virgin in the beginning of this movie? Oh, I had that as unanswerable questions. I'm going to say yes. He's Wemby-esque in his first outing, if he is a virgin. Yeah, he might have... No nerves? No nerves.

No kind of awkward like, oh, like, is this how this works? Like, it's just like we're just going at it. Like he might have rubbed out a stunt load early before she got there for stamina reasons. He might have thrown in the bullpen. Holy shit. He might have done 75 pitches in the bullpen before she came over.

They got Mariano. I just, I just, it always comes out. Because she says later, she says like, you always this quick, Joel, or is this something new? And it feels like, like some sort of, uh,

I don't know. I thought it was weird. The only other thing I would say as a big nitpick is as somebody who has had a car in the shop for going on four and a half weeks now because I scratched the door or someone scratched my door. Yeah. The idea that a mechanic could get your car out of Lake Michigan, drain it, and replace everything within the time period of your parents being gone is highly unlikely. In Chicago? Yeah. Yeah.

What time of year are we in Chicago, you think? Spring? College admission interviews? I was thinking like it's like October. Well, he's already taken the SATs once or twice, right? Yeah. Because I feel like it's got to be like lined up with college stuff. And that's maybe why they've gone on their little beach trip, Joel's parents. I have some good picking nits.

First of all, no way Guido the Killer Pimp catches Joel in the car chase. Yeah. It's not happening. Not with that Porsche. He has to go back in the hotel, get his car. That's taking four minutes. Joel's in a Porsche. Joel's gone. I don't know. Even if you watch how they edit it, there's just no fucking way. It's a huge flaw. Miles at the party, he's like, I don't have to pay for it. And Joel's like, okay, man, whatever's good. And he's like, do we understand each other?

I still don't understand what happened in that scene. He's saying, I don't have to pay for sex because I get sex anyway. Yeah, I think he's trying to make Joel feel a little bit bad for everything that's happening and is sort of judging him like this is beneath me. But I don't, I don't know. I just don't understand that scene at all.

Wouldn't the neighbors say something to Joel's parents? Yes. So like a 100% chance or a 100% chance? First of all, massive party with cars everywhere and like the quietest suburb in Highland Park. And then talking heads is thumping.

And then a fucking yard sale of all of his stuff, which is on the front lawn for hours on end. Not one neighbor is like, Hey Peggy, all your shit was on the lawn. What happened to your grandfather clock? It was next to the piano on your front lawn for three hours. I just feel like that's coming back. I mentioned earlier, I don't know how you move your furniture back in the house that fast. All right. Here are my two biggies. Joel's trying to get into Princeton.

560 verbal, 530 math, and he's got a GPA of 3.1. I was going to high school and college around the same time when at least the SATs were around there. Like Princeton, I'm gonna say mid 1300s or higher for SATs minimum. So Joel's at 1090, so that's a cross off. Grades three, nine and up, probably 4.0, and you would have had to probably play sports

do some sort of major thing. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm in future enterprisers. Joel had no chance at Princeton. Like, no chance. No chance. I mean, I think that that's sort of the point, right? Is Rutherford comes and he's just like not a very impressive resume. But beef the SATs up a little bit. Make it so that... It's like a split decision. Give him a puncher's chance. Make it like I've got a 3-5...

And I got 690 verbal and 590 math. I'm at 1280. So I'm a little short there. I'm a little short with the GPA. I don't really have that extra thing, but it's not like inconceivable that I could go to Princeton. These scores are inconceivable. Yeah. What is Joel doing though? Like no sports, right? Like it doesn't seem like he's interested in sports at all. He's basically- Yeah, he's like the studious guy who's got a 3-1. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe, I mean, take a little less time jerking off thinking about babysitters. To be fair, if Ben said, I'm going to end up with a 3-1, I'd be like, that sounds amazing. But Ben's actually doing shit in high school, you know, and he's at a really hard school. Like, Joel's not doing anything.

And why didn't they have an SAT tutor to boost the scores up? It's fucking amazing that you were comparing your son to Joel Goodson in 1983. Listen, would I take these scores for Ben? You could talk me into it, but Ben's doing nine things. Joel's like, yeah, I'm in Future Enterprisers. Yeah, I'm building this box. We made this memo machine. Trying to sell it. All right, here's the other big one. Just the math of the party. I wrote everything down. I watched it over and over again. I'm really trying to figure this out.

So when his friend Glenn comes over and has sex with Vicky, and she says $50 goes to the house. Yes. What does the houses take then? 33% are we saying? No, it's a hundred bucks. Because Lana is like, how does a guy like that have a hundred bucks? And Joel's like laughing. Okay, so that hundred bucks. So the house got 50. And she's like, it's from savings bonds. All your friends have savings bonds. All right. So then when we get to the party, is it 50-50, the house and...

And the workers? But what's Lana's take? I think that the idea is like maybe Lana is participating in Joel's wealth a little bit or maybe Lana is taking a piece. Like one way or the other, Lana takes like a bite. So Lana is probably, you know, no disrespect to her, but she might be skimming a little bit the receipts. Well, Joel says they grossed $8,000 in one night.

Right, he says that a couple times. So we know the total amount of money grossed was $8,000. Do we ever hear what the car bill is? I forget. Less than that. Okay, yeah.

Because he's got to have enough money to pay the car and pay off Guido. He had like 4,000 bucks. So maybe the car bill is like 4,000. So $50 goes to the house. We're going to say $100 per transaction. So 50, yeah. And they gross $8,000 in one night. This is great. You're money balling this. So that's 80 transactions. Uh-huh.

I counted all the workers in the house. You're the Paul D. Podesta of prostitution. Let's go. It's either 11 or 12. So let's say 12. Let's go ambitious and say 12. 80 transactions. That's basically six and two thirds each. So each person at the house is six transactions total.

I don't know if like, does that seem high to you? I guess. Yeah. I don't know if like an old West saloon brothel would do those kinds of numbers on payday at a mine. Like that's like farmer's market. It's like I'm going down to the farmer's market and picking up some corn and some fruit and you're just, and people are milling around. I, it just seems a little high.

Or not high enough. 8,000. Maybe they should have made like 15,000. The second Joel's mom walks in, she's just like, what the fuck is that smell? So six per person. Because they say at the end the girls were exhausted. Yeah. I would imagine.

Also, you got a, they rented beds. They rented a bunch of stuff. I'm sure there was like security there. Refreshments. Yeah. Yeah. Refreshments. So that's like 2000. It doesn't say with the tips, like I'm guessing Rutherford tipped, right? Rutherford's like, Hey, how much is a hundred? Here's 120. Thank you, Vicky.

So the math just never added up to me. Okay. Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. I touched on this with it being like a prequel to Eyes Wide, but I would like to see Joel in college and just what the aftermath is. And like one day at Princeton, Lana shows up. What about Joel now? I was thinking it's a risky business sequel. Like we always want Cruz to take chances. Joel now in his 60s retiring from,

And a bunch of people are at the party and one of them is Lana. Or like, I mean, isn't the idea Joel has like maybe, I guess he would be a little old to have a son, but you know, let's just say Joel got started. Oh, Lana had a kid. Well, or Joel has a kid now who's like, he's thinking about going away and his son is basically living out the 21st century version of risky business.

The Ben Simmons story. I'm in, I'm in, in whatever version of the sequel you want to give me. Ben Simmons remaking Risky Business would probably be the winner. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Catherine Hahn, Steve Buscemi, Sam Jackson, Michael K. Williams, JT Walsh, Byron Mayo, Harling Mays,

Or Philip Baker Hall? I thought Philip Baker Hall would be great as the Princeton admissions interviewer. Oh, as Rutherford? I thought that would be really good. If Wayne Jenkins was in this movie, I think it would be, God damn, Joel, I didn't know I was dealing with Super Pimp. You're a future enterpriser, but you're working in the world's oldest profession. That's pretty ironic.

You better get this house in order, though, and that motherfucking stupid egg better be back on the mantle or you're going to community college a long fucking time, big boy. I may have blown out my mic, so if that doesn't work, we can just go with Philip Laker.

Oh my God. I would have loved Wayne. I think Byron Mayo would have also been great. Joel. I love having all these ladies around. It would be great if Byron popped out when Jackie had come over. Be like, Joel, don't say no before you know. You don't know where you're going to lack it until you try it, Joel.

Harley Mays also would have been amazing. Yeah, I need a credit card. This party's winding down. It's running out of energy. I need a credit card and a $100 bill. Just one Oscar. Who gets it? I have Brickman for the screenplay. I get a curveball and I go Tangerine Dream. Oh, for soundtrack. I like it.

I have two unanswerable questions. Do you have any? Not going to do the whole, like, are we sure this happened? But like a lot of this movie is about fantasy and dreaming. So like, especially the first sexual experience that he has with Lana, like that's just ridiculous. Like the door blows open. The leaves are blowing in. The American flag is blowing. Like,

Like how much of this movie could you say is like his fantasy life coming to life to some extent? So that's always been interesting because like he spends so much time in his head dreaming. And then I like we talked about this before, but Lana and whether she intentionally sends the car into the lake. Yeah. Was Lana scamming job from the beginning?

I have, was Miles a sociopath? He is a dick. When we did the Rounders podcast and Dan had that theory that Worm was actually Max Cady in Cape Fear, every single action Miles has in this movie is to either undermine or destroy Joel. Yes. He doesn't offer him help in any way. He's a bad friend. To the bitter end at the party where he's like, I don't have to pay for it.

Just almost seems like he wants to destroy Joel's life. So he sets Joel up with Jackie and abandons him. Eats the number so he can't even call back. Right. He essentially, it sounds like, is tacitly approving of Glenn going over to have sex with Vicky the first time.

He's kind of like leaving Joel in the dust where he's like, I'm into Harvard already, so take this advice or leave it. But yeah, you're right. I mean, Miles is like... Terrible friend. I wonder if there's a different version of the casting. Curtis Armstrong is amazing in this, but is Miles supposed to be looking down his nose at Joel? Is that a character who's supposed to be preppier and more kind of sadistic than Curtis Armstrong comes off? Because that's the way it almost feels like it was written.

I think Miles is hilarious in this movie, but it also seems like he's like 35 years old. Yeah, he was 28 when he made it. He seems so much older than everybody else. He's got like stubble. Right. Like at that point, just have Judd Nelson as Miles or do one of those movies. Harry Dean was right there. He was hanging out. Harry Dean's swimming laps. They couldn't get him out of the pool.

Best double feature choice with this movie. So I like The Eyes Wide Shut is a fun one. I got to say the All the Right Moves as following up with this. Just like here's Cruise in 1983, the early version of this guy who had become one of the biggest movie stars of all time. I have Bueller and I just think it's so cool to watch this in connection with Bueller and just see like

Everything Joel is doing is he's just like, oh, I just have to make money. I have to be successful no matter what. And Bueller is like rejecting all of that and is like, I'm basically going to cheat the system. I just want to have fun. I don't give a shit. I want to stay a kid. It's just like just a couple of years removed. And even like the music choices and things like that that are different. It's so it's so such an interesting pairing. Do you think younger people would watch this movie and be like, why is Joel so obsessed with being rich? I think that they would just find it slow, honestly.

Oh man, it's so not slow. Yeah, I think that like Joel's, Joel's like life is like oriented around like that whole conversation that Joel and Barry and Glenn and the girl have in the restaurant in the beginning where it's just like, you know, like, don't you guys want to accomplish anything? And they're like, no, I want to make money. Right. You know, I mean, it's pretty candid. It's pretty. They're basically like Bud Fox from Wall Street could have been sitting at the table. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to chase down Gordon Gekko.

The Indian Red's want an air word. What happened the next day? What do you have for this? I have a good one. Oh, let me hear yours. Lana eventually makes enough money to move to Hollywood. Dates Don Simpson starts out as a, as kind of a hooker client relationship, but eventually turns into a really starts dating and starts doing cocaine and does a cocaine overdose in 1986.

I would like to imagine a better future for Lana, but I think... Okay, good. Yeah, like, I think... I gave you the dark version of Lana. That is definitely the darkest. She takes her proceeds from the yard sale and goes on a bus to LA. She runs into the wrong guy, Don Simpson. And it's just basically the Welcome to the Jungle video. Right. What do you have? I just think it's like Joel just becomes Michael Milken, basically.

Does Joel actually go to Princeton? Yeah. Yes. And crashes the stock market several years later. What piece of memorabilia would you want from this movie? You can't say the Porsche. I'll do the egg. Yeah, the egg is the other obvious one. The Coach Finstock Award Best Life Lesson. Probably the easiest one we've ever had. Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck. Yeah. Cruise wins the movie, but Rebecca De Mornay is like

Is a really good silver medalist and so is Brickman. Brickman's up there too. Like two awesome silver medalists. Yeah. I think you have to give it to Cruz because of what comes after, but in the moment, it's Brickman. All right. Well, maybe on Monday, Craig can tape his little two-minute reaction. Yeah. He is away for a wedding. All right, guys. I'm jumping in here because I know you wanted my reaction and I honestly couldn't sit this one out because-

This movie blew me away. It honestly did. It's one of the all-time concepts and it's executed perfectly. I really think that this movie would have changed my life if I was 16 in 1983.

And it would have probably led to me directly doing something really stupid with my friends on a Saturday night because I wanted to take a risk or whatever, because this movie is supposed to be about, you know, how do you really gain life experience and where do you learn it? And what should you be doing as a young person? I can't believe. So I hadn't seen this movie, obviously. I just can't believe all I knew about it was that was the dance number scene. I don't know if this is a hot take, but.

because again i haven't listened to you guys yet but that dance scene ruined this movie because it completely overshadowed it it's it's not even a top 10 scene in the film for me really there are so many other great parts of this movie even even the scene itself i mean it's it's it's good it's fun i get it even his outfit choice is weird he's like he's like alone in the house and he's wearing a dress shirt tight so his parents leave and he puts on a dress shirt tighty whities and tube socks

and dances around the house. I don't know. It's kind of weird to me that, that, that would not be what I would have done at 16 in the house alone. I'm not doing the dress shirt, tube socks, white tighties thing. That's just not what I'm doing. There are so many 10 minutes later in this movie, Tom Cruise is having standing up sex with Rebecca Des Mornay, who would have also changed my life. If I watched this when I was 16, I really hope you guys liked her because I

I thought her and Cruz were genuinely electric and had the most dynamic Cruz female connection and any movie I've ever seen with Cruz. She was incredible. She was like a cat toying with a mouse the entire movie. I thought the high school dynamics were incredible. Um, I'm just trying to imagine, I mean, the, the,

you know, the believability of all this, it starts to strain in the middle when the hooker stuff gets more prominent. I'm trying to imagine a world in which I would have attended a party in high school on a Saturday night if somebody texted the group chat being like, hey guys, Joel's having an exclusively hooker filled party tonight. You guys want to go? It's just Joel and 30 hookers

Um, what do you want to do? I don't know how that goes. Maybe things were different in the early eighties. I just don't know how that goes now. Um, an incredible amount of, I guess, classy hookers in his suburban Chicago tri-state area. So, um, good for him. The neighbors didn't notice the hooker party going on. I'm sure you guys hit that as well. Um, also a classic, you know, Saturday night, Princeton interview. Those, those pop up all the time. That happened to me many times.

But anyway, the filmmaking in this movie is so, so perfect. It's like this has this like glossy air to it. It almost feels like a soft core porno at times. You never know if you're watching a Tom Cruise wet dream scene that you're about to wake up from or if what you're seeing is really happening. There's all these like little surrealist elements like the clock moving backwards in class.

Um, the music is so good. It sounds like the who I know it's not, but it sounds like that song eminence front from the who I couldn't stop thinking about that the entire movie it's, it's perfect. And then all of it, it just does a fantastic job of, of kind of making you feel like you're watching this movie through the POV of a, of a teenage boy. I also think it's, I'm going to say this too. I think it's the best cruise. I think it is the best cruise. His comedic timing is, is legitimately impressive.

his, the naivety with Rebecca de Mornay, the back and forth they have. He's like a real life human man. He's a human boy in this movie. We get Cruz running first running. I think probably in Cruz's career, he's, he's still, he had it at a young age. And then lastly, I have the movies an hour and 38 minutes. Like it, it, and it doesn't need a minute more. I would of course loved more, but that's why this, this is great. And that's why all these movies are great. It's an hour and 38 minutes. And there is, there's no B plot.

It is just this one story. This is exactly my kind of movie. The older comedies just felt different. There was a darkness in all of them. They were funny, but they, but they touch on topics that everybody can relate to. They, they felt grounded. There was a seriousness within all of them. It wasn't slapstick. Um, so anyway, those are my thoughts. Immediate top 10 all time comedy for me, front runner for favorite new rewatchables movie of the year for me. Um,

Cruz, Des Mornes. I didn't even know she existed, but I'm well aware now. Anyway, back to you guys. Jesse Lopez helped us producing. I didn't even know Jesse was producing podcasts anymore. I just thought he was just ready for the Dodgers 162-0 season. Jesse, are they going to lose a game this year? What are your expectations? They'll lose about five to 10 games, I'd say. Five, 10 games. So you're looking at 150 wins? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Give or take. What happens, though, if they come out of the gate slow and it's like, what if this was a huge mistake? Does Roberts get fired before, like... Right. No. You know what? Even before this season, before we got Otani, I didn't want Roberts back. I thought they'd run their course and needed something new. But then we got Shohei and I was like, all right. But apparently, I have to see if this is true or not because I vaguely remember reading this after Shohei signed. There's a clause in his contract that...

that says if Robert leaves Shohei can leave as well oh a key man clause interesting yes there's there's I remember vaguely reading something about this because I was very upset because if the Dodgers don't win the World Series or at the very least get to the World Series this year yeah Roberts has to leave like something has to be done drastically at that point and

That's about the drastic thing you can do without churning the team completely around. I have that same clause, but it's for Solak. All right. Well, Jesse Lopez produced this. Thanks for listening. And we will see you next week on The Rewatch. We'll see you next week.