Getting It Right This Time
I Choose Me with Jennie Garth
Deep Dive
Why is it important to conceptualize divorce as a trauma?
Divorce, whether amicable or high-conflict, represents a significant shift in life that can destabilize emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Viewing it as trauma allows individuals to approach healing intentionally, recognizing the profound impact it has on their identity and daily life.
How can divorced individuals take accountability for their role in the marriage’s failure?
While it’s important to acknowledge pain points and betrayals, individuals must also examine their contributions to the relationship dynamics. This self-reflection helps prevent repeating patterns in future relationships and fosters robust, long-lasting healing.
How do you know when it’s the right time to start dating again after a divorce?
There’s no universal timeline for readiness. Instead, individuals should rely on their intuition, experiment with dating, and adjust based on how it feels. If dating feels uncomfortable or destabilizing, it’s okay to pause and reassess.
What should you do if the idea of dating feels repulsive after a divorce?
Honor the feeling and get curious about why it feels repulsive. Explore the underlying emotions without judgment, recognizing it as a temporary season rather than a permanent state. This approach helps build a deeper understanding of personal boundaries and needs.
How can divorced individuals avoid repeating past mistakes in new relationships?
Instead of focusing on avoiding mistakes, individuals should stay attuned to their feelings and behaviors in new relationships. Self-awareness, curiosity, and gentle accountability help create healthier dynamics over time.
When should you discuss your ex or children with a new partner?
Treat personal history as private health information—share it thoughtfully and gradually. Early on, it’s enough to mention having children without going into detail. Deeper discussions about exes or co-parenting should wait until trust and connection are established.
How much should children influence a parent’s decision to date after divorce?
Young children don’t need to know about dating unless a serious relationship develops. For older children, open conversations about their feelings are important, but the parent’s decision to date should ultimately align with their own needs and readiness.
- Divorce is conceptualized as trauma.
- It's crucial to take accountability for one's role in the marriage's issues.
- Processing anger and hurt is essential, but so is understanding personal contributions to the relationship's problems.
Shownotes Transcript