I Choose...How To Be The Best Mother with Alyson Hannigan
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Hey there, Joel here with my buddy Matt from How to Money. Matt, summer's right around the corner. I know you got that travel bug. What adventures do you have planned? Oh man, you are going to love this. We're planning this epic road trip up the East Coast with the entire family. Just think lighthouses in Maine, monuments in DC, plus everything in between. That's amazing.

I'm jealous, but I'm thinking about stowing away in your luggage. But wait a second. How are all six of you going to take this road trip? Okay, so initially we were thinking about taking an RV, but I found some really awesome Airbnbs along our route, places with something for everyone. And what I really love is that with Airbnbs, we can always start our days with like a

A good breakfast at home? Like, it's our home away from home, and I love that routine. I don't know if you've ever tried getting a family of six out the door, let alone trying to find some breakfast in the middle of a city that you're not super familiar with. It's a challenge, plus it's a budget killer. Yeah, that's true. Sounds like chaos, to be honest. And you know, that's actually what makes hosting on Airbnb so special, right? You're giving travelers a chance to really live like a local. They even have the co-host feature, which gives you access to a network of high-quality local co-hosts

who can help take care of your home and your guests when you're not there. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Mother's Day is almost here, you guys. This one really snuck up on me. Luckily, there's still time to shop, and Macy's Mother's Day Sale has it all, in-store and online. With 25% off Mother's Day gifts, you can afford to buy your mom the little luxuries she wouldn't normally buy for herself.

Like a fancy Valentino perfume set or skincare from Kiehl's. Shop the Mother's Day gift guide now at Macy's.com slash gift guide. The Macy's Mother's Day sale is going on from May 6th through the 11th. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. My guest today is known for her roles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, American Pie, and of course, How I Met Your Mother.

Mother's Day is this week, and as a mom, the conversation we're about to have is an important one. Please welcome Allison Hannigan to the podcast. Hello. Oh my gosh, Allison. I'm so happy to talk to you. This is fun. Thank you for talking to me. I've been a fan, of course, and you and I both played games.

these well-known high school characters and you in yes at the same high school by the way what high school you filmed which one uh buffy buffy which filmed at torrance high oh that poor high school they must have gotten so sick of all us actors i think they loved it you too but i think we like we would walk around and we'd be like dylan dylan where are you oh yeah

Do you find that your fans are similar to mine and they are often shocked that you're actually an adult and you're in the 50 club now?

I mean, they're pretty polite, but what I find sort of disconcerting is that like when it's somebody that I'm like, well, maybe we're the same age. And they're like, I was a little kid and I watched you. I grew up on you. And I'm like, oh, all right. Yeah. Yeah. Have you gotten that? Oh, my mom loves you. The other day I got my grandmother loves you. And I'm like, okay, you can stop right there. Thank you. That's so cute though. That's,

That's endearing. My grandmother grew up with you. That, I'm going to walk away. Okay, well, don't anybody say that. It's going to happen. It's going to happen soon. I feel like you, yeah, will be forever with me.

Frozen in my mind as a teenager. And it's even, it's weird to me to say that because the same thing happens to me, but I'm saying it to you because. So true. So true. But I'm just so grateful to have been part of like several things that, that people still remember, you know, it's hard to believe, but it's awesome. I love it. Have you ever been like out and about in the real world or even at home and caught yourself on a rerun or

Or maybe even like at the doctor's office, that'd be even better. Yeah. So you're just flipping the channel. So I'm like, oh my goodness, flashback. I love it. And then I'm like, do I even remember this? So true. It's so true. I also think that many of the fans...

well, they see themselves in the characters that you've portrayed. Has there ever, I'm curious, has there ever been a character or a role that helped you better understand yourself? Oh, that's a good question. Um,

I mean, I think I've played characters that I would aspire to be more like. I mean, who wouldn't want to be more like Willow, you know? But she's way smarter than I am. And boy, could I use her computer skills, especially nowadays. Right. That would have been great. But, you know, I feel like I put a piece of me into every character and then maybe a piece of the character comes into me too, I'd like to hope.

The good parts. But yeah, it's obviously it's that there's some of me in there. Not that good of an actress. Yeah. Like the lines blur. Yeah. I love, I kind of love that because that means you're playing a really genuine portrayal of something and like it's, it feels authentic because you are like putting yourself in that character's shoes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Um,

especially with like emotional scenes. Yeah. You know, I could always tell if I would resonate with something because like if I didn't have to sort of dive deep into emotional trauma to get the emotions, then I knew that I was in the right space for the character. I'm loving this scene.

chapter of my life, this next chapter, I don't know, middle chapter, I don't know. What's your favorite thing about being in your 50s? Because you're newly in the club. I am. I know. I know. I really, I love the like, just caring less about what everybody thinks. And, you know, my new motto is like,

What other people think of me is none of my business. And, you know, I just... It's lovely if you like me and stuff, but if you don't, okay. I'm not going to... Hopefully, it's not going to destroy me the way it would have in my 20s. You know? Like, I just... So it's not like a... I mean, I'm still sensitive, but I just...

I have my people that I love and I care about and like their opinions are the ones that matter. My family and my friends, like I'm good and I'm really happy. And like, you know, yes, there are things, sure, I would have done differently, but in a way, at least I learned from them and grow. And I just always want to grow and, and, um,

and just be grateful for my journey. You have a very good perspective. That's perfect. But you said you were a little more affected by other people's opinions in your 20s. And I know having gone through that phase, being in this industry, seeing all the things that we saw in our early years and hearing all the things we heard, how did you get through it all? Like, I don't know how I got through it all. I'm just happy I did. Yeah.

Yes. Well, and I think for you, I mean, you blew, like you guys were everything everywhere. I feel like for me, it was always like this slow,

burn I was like the little engine that could but it wasn't like Buffy wasn't an immediate hit out of the gate and we certainly like we were on this strange network where we were the only sort of critically acclaimed show and like and you know and people just didn't understand like what do you mean Buffy the Vampire Slayer it's like no it's much better than the like it's really just check it out well are you a comedy or are you a drama like yeah both

But I also just think because it was before social media, like you didn't know people were watching it. We filmed the entire first season without it being aired. So it really was a little bubble. And then, and even with How I Met Your Mother, it was similar because, um,

that, you know, we were always like on the bubble show for like the first three seasons. Like every year we didn't know if we were going to get picked up and there were much shinier shows that were getting all the attention. And then we were just kind of like this slow build. I think, you know, we got onto some airplanes like before you had all the choices on the airplane and we were on Netflix and that helped and we just kept slowly going. And then like by the end of the series, we're like, oh, people

really watch us. I remember we got picked up for like two seasons one year and we're like, we've made it. We're not a bubble show anymore. But so, so with you though, you were just like, I, you guys were like on Rolling Stone and stuff like that. Like it was just massive out of the gate. And I feel like we were under the radar. So it might not have been as hard for me as it was maybe for you, but I'm projecting. Yeah.

But I, yeah, I don't know. I just, I feel like I also grew up as sort of like a struggling kid actor. So I knew how like fleeting everything was. So, so that never left my perspective. So I was always grateful to be working and, um,

And you worked hard. Yes, yes. And I was very lucky in the projects that I got to work on too. So I don't know. I feel like gratitude's always been my friend. I mean, it's the best thing to go back to every time you're struggling, I feel like. Yeah. I always tell my daughters, gratitude, not attitude. I'm sick of hearing that. I'm sure. Sure.

It'll sink in. You have teenage daughters. I do. I have a 16-year-old and an almost 13-year-old. What do they think? Have they seen one time at band camp? No. And I hope they never do. But they better not tell me that they have. And I don't think they will want to. So...

That is one thing that, you know, I love having open dialogue and communication with them, but maybe not for that. Just maybe not that. I've just told them, don't ever watch it. Oh my God. Just trust me, you don't want to see it. They,

They will absolutely watch it. I'm just going to prep you for that. I'm sure. But maybe not. Maybe they'll wait. They don't actually want to watch my stuff because they saw their dad in a video where he was flirting with, he was like 17. It was a George Harrison video. And he was like flirting with a girl. And they almost before the video was done, they said, okay, I don't want to watch anything you've done, mom. I don't want to see you with somebody else. Yeah.

Because they don't like seeing him flirt with somebody. And he was like 17. He was a baby. Every time they see me doing like a makeout scene...

From that time, they're like, ew. They just hate watching it. Yeah. I mean, they don't even like when my husband and I are affectionate to each other. They're just like, ew. Can you imagine seeing me married to someone else? Oh, my gosh. This is Mother's Day week. Do you think that maybe your relationship with your mom has changed your perspective now on marriage?

How you treated her, what she had to endure. I mean, I was a great kid. You were. 15 wasn't great, but I was moody. But, you know, I've learned so much being a parent. And it's just they teach me every day. And it's so incredible. I was an only child. And to have two daughters to watch siblings together.

And in that dynamic, I'm like, I'm still grieving the loss of not having a sibling because I desperately wanted that when I was growing up. So it's nice to get to sort of see it through them, even the hard parts, but I'm learning so much as well. When you had your first daughter, were you like, I definitely want to have a sibling for her? And did you plan that?

Oh, yeah. I always was like, at least two. I have to because... They have to have somebody. Yeah. I did not like being an only child. So for me, I was like, nope, getting a sibling. That's good. I love the relationship that my daughters have with one another. I don't love it all the time because...

Sometimes it gets a little crazy up in here, all these girls and the hormones flowing. But I still love that they have each other forever. Absolutely. Absolutely.

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Hey, this is Joel and Matt from How to Money. And you know, Joel, I am looking forward to summer this year because I'm taking a road trip up to the Northeast. That's exciting. Where are you headed? Yeah, we're taking the kids on this like ultimate American history adventure. We're talking D.C. for the Smithsonian, then Boston for the Freedom Trail and Paul Revere story, as well as heading up to Acadia up in Maine for some serious hiking, maybe a little bit of craft beer as well. And actually planning this trip got me thinking it's so smart to have your place on Acadia

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I'm curious about your campaign that you're a part of, Ask to Be Sure. I want to know more about this. Yes. So Ask to Be Sure and AsktoBesure.com with the two and the B, the letter B. Yes, I partnered with GSK2 to raise awareness to Ask to Be Sure, which is a health awareness campaign for meningococcal disease. That's a tough one. Meningococcal. Also known as meningitis. Meningitis. What the heck is that and why?

Why do we have to be worried about it? Well, so it's an uncommon but very serious illness that can have just life-altering consequences, even death, and sometimes as fast as like within 24 hours. So this campaign really encourages parents, particularly with kids 16 to 23, because that's the

the most prevalent age group because of their behaviors of like, like some kids going off to college and living in close quarters or sharing lip gloss or drinks or kissing, you know, all of these behaviors that are perfectly normal. But that is sort of the most dangerous age range. So this encourages you to talk to your doctors to make sure it hasn't slipped through the cracks because some people are like, because there's meningitis vaccines for A, B, C,

C, W, and Y, but B often gets overlooked because it's a separate vaccine. And so you really just were encouraging people to go ask the questions to your kids' doctors. When I did, it was so informative and there was so much information.

I didn't know, obviously I'm not a doctor, but like she explained it in such a way, you know, what's really worrisome about this is that the fact that the first person that, that develops meningitis, it's, it's the symptoms are just every day. Like, Oh, you're just getting sick. Like, in fact, a friend of mine,

Had like the star quarterback on the high school football team, just athlete of the year and all the things. He went home with a headache and he died the next day.

Because I know, and it's just, and I had this, the opportunity to, to meet with survivors and families that have been affected. And it was so overwhelming and so emotional. I'm so grateful that they're sharing their stories as hard as, I mean, a burst into tears. How can you not?

But it's so wonderful that they're sharing their stories because it is something I wasn't really aware of. Right. Because I kind of think like I did the things I was supposed to do when they were little, even if I wasn't even sure about it. But I kind of did what the doctor told me.

And then you think when they're, you know, you think you're done with all of that and that there's no more to do. Is there something when you do go to the doctor and you talk about it and you ask the questions, is this something that they can test your child for before they get the vaccine? Look, I'm not a doctor. That's why I'm just saying, hey, go, please ask your doctor. But they will break it down, you know, because obviously you're hoping that the doctors are going to tell you everything you ever need to know. But like that's

They, if you don't ask about certain things, they might not bring it up. So that's why Ask to Be Sure is encouraging parents to empower them to go and ask their doctors about, you know, are you okay? All the things. All the things. All the doctor-y things. Yes. I haven't even played a doctor on television. You haven't? So just go ask your doctor. I haven't either. I'm not sure I could do it with all the words. Yeah.

You heard me try to say meningococcal, right? There you go. Take two. I have to practice it. Yeah. Wait. Okay. So I'm assuming that on the website, asktobesure.com, I am assuming that there are lists of questions you should go into the doctor with or things you could go in there and ask questions.

ask about? Yes. And we're just encouraging because the more knowledge you have, the more you can make the right decision for your families and just raise awareness of something that you're like, wait, did I, was I, am I, are we okay? Like, you know, it's just, it's always just good to have other people helping you

not miss anything super important, you know, that could be, you know, life impacting. I'm definitely going to check it out. And I hope that all of our listeners do too, because it's really, really important, especially that age-wise,

when they're just so excited about starting their life. I have a daughter who is chronically ill and she's just a constant thing with her throat and with her energy level. And we, you know, we've gotten so many tests, mono and strep and all the tests. I'm going to go in there and talk about what are there things I need to know. Yes. Absolutely. Communication, especially with your doctor is the most important thing, you know.

As a mom, do you believe that we need to allow our girls to learn life's sometimes really hard lessons? Or are you a little bit more like me and want to help them with every hardship they ever come upon? Look, I definitely, if I could take away any and all of their pain, I would. But I also, the hardest thing for me, I think when they were little was the

people, people always encouraged us not to react when they fell and, and because then they look at you and you're like, and then they just burst into tears. That was so hard for me because of course, every fiber of my being was like, did they get hurt? But like, once I like,

Like really practice, like just, and I didn't want to also like say you're okay. Like, I'm not going to tell you how it like you tell me, are you hurt? And then we'll react to after that. But, um, and when I saw that, when I actually could like did it in, in practice and it was the right thing to do because then she could like either, um,

get back up and go on with whatever she was doing or she was hurt and she needed like okay now it's the scrape boo-boo and we go fix you and like but it was it was her reaction rather than like me

overreacting, which I could definitely, that was my instinct. But so, so I think in a sense, there's always that, like, you know, if somebody was mean, girl, do you need me to call their parents? I'm not going to call their parents. I still want to do that all the time. Should I talk to them? I can call that kid or maybe his dad or whatever. Like, let me know. I do get very mama bear where I'm just like in the parking lot. I'll see them walk out. I'll be like, oh,

you can mean to my baby. Just give them a side eye with my sunglasses on. Total jerk. But, uh, by the way, the kids are like so over it and they're just like, I'm like, but yeah,

Hi, it's Jenny Garth. Feeling confident in my skin is non-negotiable, and that's why I choose Perricone MD. Perricone MD's triple retinol renewal face and eye serums are powerful but gentle, boosting cell turnover for visibly smoother, firmer skin. Since I've started using these serums exclusively, I've noticed that my skin is more radiant, it's glowing, and people are asking me more and more, why?

What do you use on your skin? Having confidence in the way your skin looks starts with Perricone MD. Visit perriconemd.com and use code JENNY for 40% off your order for a limited time. perriconemd.com code J-E-N-N-I-E. One thing about Chicago is it empowers you to want to live because it has so much love. If these walls could talk, they would say stability.

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Hey, this is Joel and Matt from How to Money. And you know, Joel, I am looking forward to summer this year because I'm taking a road trip up to the Northeast. That's exciting. Where are you headed? Yeah, we're taking the kids on this like ultimate American history adventure. We're talking D.C. for the Smithsonian, then Boston for the Freedom Trail and Paul Revere story, as well as heading up to Acadia up in Maine for some serious hiking, maybe a little bit of craft beer as well. And actually planning this trip got me thinking it's so smart to have your place on Acadia

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Shop the Mother's Day gift guide now at Macy's.com slash gift guide. The Macy's Mother's Day sale is going on from May 6th through the 11th. Have you had to handle like heartbreak yet and all the feelings of young teenage girls? Luckily, no. My older daughter has this lovely boyfriend. They were almost like at a year, which I'm like for high school. I'm like, that's like impressive. Yeah.

So, you know, and obviously navigate through like, oh, disappointments or whatever. But no, there hasn't been the super heartbreak yet. Yeah. I mean, there's been like friendship dramas and stuff. And that's been, you know, it's so hard not to, it's also hard not to like,

Go on and on and on about it. Like, you know, cause I would talk to the, the end of the world with them, like about anything they wanted to talk to. So, so I've got to navigate, like just saying enough, but not making it feel like a lecture. Yeah. They don't want to come to me. Cause they're like, I just don't have the time. I know it's really, there's so many like little balancing acts that we have to do as moms. I think especially, um,

of teenagers. I mean, just kids in general. It's really hard. I always say I would rather take care of my three little girls in diapers and just like all of that than what it takes to raise them as young women as they get older. It's like an emotional warfare you have to teach them. It's such a roller coaster. Yeah.

I kept her 15 was rough. And that was my worst teenage year too, as well. But there was a lot of eye rolling and a lot of where's that person that I used to know. And, but I just kept reminding myself, I even told her at one point, I was like, these are the years you're going to apologize for later. Yeah.

And you know what? She already did. She wrote the most beautiful email parents could ever read because she went away and she sort of saw somebody else exhibiting that typical teenage angsty behavior and how it kind of was...

a nuisance for everyone around them. And, and she wrote this lovely email of like, I'm sorry for every eye roll. And I really, I just, that's amazing. She only got one year back really was a profound experience for her. So I was like, well, this came like decades before I thought it would. Right. Yeah. I feel like that is the best feeling when you see that they have that emotional intelligence and they're able to like,

their mistakes sometimes. Yeah, 100%. They learn so much more because they've worked through it themselves. Exactly. Yeah, they see their behavior. And I do think kids in general nowadays have that way more than I certainly had when I was their age. Yeah, me too. Yeah, it's just, it's more in the ether. Yeah.

But it's, yeah, it's just really hard not to hurt for your kids when something bad happens to them. I know. But like even for like when they were young, it was, you know, like I said to my daughters, I'm like, you know, the sad days make the happier days happier. Like the happy days happier because, you know, you can't like, you can't grow a rose without fertilizer. Mm-hmm.

So it's just, you can't have a good life without a little shit. It's like, if you were always happy, you would never know you're happy. That's true. Yeah. I'm all, I'm, I'm, I'm a feelings person. I have talked about it before. I've been told I'm,

too emotional by certain people in my past or like dramatic or emotional. And I was like, yeah, I am dramatic because that's what I do for a living, but I'm not too emotional. I'm actually emotion full and I'm proud of it. Oh, I like that. Yes. Don't let anyone tell you're too emotional. Just don't accept that. Yeah. Oh, I got that all the time. And you know what? It's also what makes me

you know, be able to feel as much as I do and, and, and give as much as I give. And so it's, it's an asset. How are you celebrating Mother's Day this year? Well, I'm going to go home because I'm in New York right now. So I'll go home tomorrow and then, um, just be with my babies. And, uh, I don't know what they have planned, but, uh,

But it'll just be great. I love it that they are at an age now where they start to think, oh, it's Mother's Day. What are we going to do? And they start to plan it together. My younger daughter was like, mom, will you, do you have a flat iron? Will you just send me ones you would like? I mean, you know, just, but pretty soon. Hey, you're getting a flat iron for Mother's Day. Well, then she was like, I think it's better if you just buy it. I'm like, okay.

Oh, no. That's so good. Because we both borrow my 16-year-old's flat iron. Oh, yeah. Well, I had one until she took it. Yeah. And then, yeah. I think it was mine. Yeah, I need a new one. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And she's got beautiful curly hair. I'm like, stop straightening it. I paid money to get that curl. I sat in a makeup chair for hours getting those curls. Yeah. I guess, do you think either of them wants to be a little actress? Yes.

My younger one does. And I and it's it's we are like constantly talking her out of it or trying to look if she really wanted to do it. I would, of course, I'll support whatever they want to do. But the thing is, when we question her on why she wants it, she does not give the right answers.

What's her answer? She wants to be, she loves going to a red carpet and she wants to be famous. Yeah. She can meet other famous people. I'm like, oh yeah. Well, you can do it that way now. I guess you could. I guess you could. But, but I, you know. I'm curious though, like why would you not want her to become an actress?

I just don't want it now. I want her to just have the childhood. I feel like, you know, she's got so much going for her and she's, you know, she is good at most everything that she tries, which...

is a good and bad thing, but I just feel like, um, I just want her to be well-rounded. And then if she decides later on that that is a passion of hers, like for the right reason, then great. I am all for it. And I will support you. And we've got your room ready for you when, when

when you're on like your hundredth audition and haven't booked anything or, you know, what, or maybe it'll be better, but I just feel like she's,

She's a kid and she should be a kid and she doesn't need to like go into a room and like be told she's like too tall or not tall enough or this or that or not. Like, you know, all the things. And maybe they don't do that anymore. Like they don't just tell you all these horrible things about you. No, they wait until you leave the room.

Yeah. Like maybe the agents know not to tell you as a child anymore, but that was not my experience. And she's just, she's a great kid and I just don't want to ruin her. Yeah.

We know too much. Yeah. As moms who've done it. Yeah. And, and we're like, Hey, yeah, go be in the acting at school, go be in the school play and do all this. And she's not doing that. So it's not her passion. Yeah. Like, you know, she's too afraid. Yeah. She, well, it just, she's got so many things she wants to do.

So let's focus on volleyball and basketball and all the other things like while you can. All the things I didn't get to do. Right. Oh, my gosh. OK, well, I've loved having you here. But before I let you go, Allison Hannigan, what was your last I choose me moment?

Ooh, I think it was coming to New York two days early. Not just, I got to see some friends, do some shopping. I did shop for my daughter's birthday. So technically, but, but it was very like indulgent of me. Like, all right,

All right, honey. Bye. I'll see you. And we're like getting work done on the house. Like they're painting and they were removing tile. Perfect timing. The day I left, they started like jackhammering tile. It was awful, apparently. And we have puppies and they couldn't go out. And it was so I left just in the nick of time. You did. Maybe you extend your trip just a little bit.

little longer. Well, if it weren't Mother's Day. Well, thank you for bringing this information to all of us. Thank you for sharing that. To know. To be sure. To number B letter. Sure. Dot com. And everybody can use our show notes to find out how to access that. But thank you so much for spending time with us today. Oh, thank you. And happy Mother's Day. You too. You too. All right. Have a great day. Bye.

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