I Choose...To Be A Badass with Yvette Nicole Brown, Jenn Tran, and Jackie Tohn
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You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth.

Hey everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. Okay, being a badass isn't just about being cool. It's about blazing your own trail, standing up for others and using your beautiful voice. Today, we are going to jump into an incredible panel of women who are doing just that and

Actress and podcast host Yvette Nicole Brown. Actress from Netflix hit show Nobody Wants This. My girl, Jackie Tone.

and former bachelorette, and she recently was gorgeous on Dancing with the Stars, Jen Tran. Before we get into our I Choose to Be a Badass panel, I want to just thank some of our sponsors from the event. Third Love. With Third Love, it's not just about your boobs, it's about your bra.

Hello again. They are making cannabis powered vaginal suppositories. You guys, you need to check them out. And Capital Group, home of the American Funds. They have been prioritizing client services for 93 years. I trust them. You can too. Okay, let's get in to this panel.

All right, so these are some women who have blazed some trails. So please help me welcome our next panel, which is I Choose to Be a Badass. So first up, Emmy-nominated actor known for her roles in Community and A Black Lady Sketch Show, Nicole Brown. Hi! Woo!

Yeah, dance it up, dance it up. I love it. Thank you. All right. Next up, TV personality and former star of The Bachelorette, who actually recently competed on My Alma Mater, Dancing with the Stars. Please welcome Jen Tran. Hello, Jen. All right. Last but not least, actor, comic, and writer known from the hit Netflix show that is...

Awesome. If you haven't seen it, make sure you check it out. It is the show. Nobody wants this. It's Jackie To. Am I walking normal? How cute is she? I love it. Oh, my God. I leave it to you, Jenny. All right. Hi, gorgeous girl. All right. You guys go take it away. I've only known Sam 20 years. Oh, my gosh. You guys, I love this panel. I love this panel. We love you, too. You guys. Yay!

How about I thought Yvette said, what's everybody doing? And I was like, what? Just so hostile immediately. What's everybody doing? Immediately. You guys, what do you think it takes to be a badass?

I'll start. I think it takes persistence. Yes. For sure. Willingness to reinvent yourself as much as you want. Yes. What else? You know, not being afraid to be unliked. And this is coming from a people pleaser. I'm a people pleaser. But the idea of understanding that sometimes you have to make a move that people may not like. And it's okay. As long as it's the right thing to do, it's okay. I... Oh, were you about to go? No.

It's okay. Go ahead. I will step on everyone's toes today. Yes, you will save the best for last. It's you first. Okay, jokes. So I feel like something just happened to me yesterday and I think one of the things that makes me feel badass-y is it's really hard to do and it makes me uncomfortable and I'm still working on it but advocating for myself. Come on. And yesterday...

I was at a rehearsal for something and we had 10 minutes and I really needed to focus. And I knew that I would maybe look like a B if I asked the people four inches away from me to stop talking at full voice while I was in the middle of a full rehearsal, had to focus on something. I had someone in my ear and two people were just fully arguing right next to me. And I was like, years ago, I would have just been like, okay, truck through, truck through. And then I just like on the mic was like, can you guys fight 10 feet away? Yeah.

And then they moved 10 feet away, and then I kept rehearsing, and I was like, can you actually fight further away than even that? And afterward, I said to my publicist, like, did I look, I probably looked like such a B. And it was like, you have to, we have to get the job done. We're forward-facing. It's us who you see. And so, I don't know, that's a long-winded answer. Is anyone awake? No.

I loved that. I loved that answer. I agree with that. I'm going to go off of Yvette's answer a little bit here, but I'm going to say going against the grain, like don't be afraid to do something that's out of the box or totally different. I think growing up, I was so afraid to do something different than what my peers were doing. And I find that when you do something different, that's when something incredible truly happens. Right. And so I'd say that that's kind of really what's helped me become pretty badass, I'd say. I agree.

I agree with you on your badassness. And I'm so glad you feel badass-y. I would like to congratulate all the women up here on their badassery. Thank you, Jenny. I can't top that. TM. I own that now. You are the definition of badass. True. Thanks, Jenny. You speak your mind. You talk about...

things that aren't right. You talk about politics. You're not afraid. I'm not. You know, I believe in, and hear me out, everybody. I think that everyone is given a platform for a purpose, right? And so there's some people in the entertainment industry that don't speak up because, oh, I got the job and I want to keep getting the jobs. I have a college degree and McDonald's is always hiring. So if things go terribly wrong for me because I spoke up about something that matters, then that's fine.

It's fine. And you have to be at the place where you have to decide, am I going to care about this country? Am I going to care about other people? Or am I only going to care about myself and me and mine? We have to come together and be for all people or none of us are going to make it. So thank you. So I use my platform for good. And this is the thing. Everybody has a platform. You don't have to have millions of followers to have a platform. Your platform might be the pro

the produce section at your local grocery store. But if you see something, say something and encourage other people to do the same. So that's how I live my life. Yeah. Do you have a lot of badass friends? Every single one of them. Every single one, because I think you draw to you who you are, right? So either people need to level up and become someone that cares about others or they're not supposed to be around me because the way I move, you're going to start caring about everybody. So if it doesn't work with you, you're going to get out of there yourself. Yes, yes.

Speaking of badass, you recently got married. I did. Huh?

Did you guys see the pictures of people? Oh, my God, Yvette, that exclusive of people was gorgeous. Thank you. I think your handsome husband is here. He's not here today because we couldn't find someone to watch our dog, and we're those crazy people that don't leave the dog home alone. I love that. The dog is so, like, spoiled, so he had to stay home with Harley. But, yeah, he was going to come, and he sends his best. You waited for a while in your life to find the right fit. I'll say a while. Can you say 53? Mm-hmm.

53. I got married at 53. And the reason I share my age with people is because one, I think that women have been sold a bill of goods and we've been told that after 35, we're worth nothing. We've also been told that if you're 35 and haven't gotten your husband and your kids yet, you're really worth nothing. And I disagree with that. And so I refuse to just pick a guy because they said it was time. I waited until I found the one my heart loves. And then we got married at 53. So it's fine. That's you.

That's you choosing you right there. I chose me. I love that. So do you have bad... These women are all badasses. All of you are badasses. All of you. I think every single woman is a badass. That's right. That's why we named this panel Badass. It feels right. It feels right, yeah. I didn't suggest a change of name. I read it. I said, these are the ladies on it. This is correct. That's right. You've talked about having type 2 diabetes. Yes. And turning that around. Yes. Can you share with people how you did that? You know, when we...

In the black community, we call it sugar. You got a little bit of the sugar, right? A little sugar. And we all have seen people that came here with arms and legs and feet and they left here without some of those. They just start cutting off pieces of your body as diabetes takes over. And I decided that I need my feet.

So when the diagnosis came, I was like, let me, maybe I don't need to eat all the donuts when we take a break on Community. Maybe I can just have- That craft service. Oh, the craft service did me dirty. If you guys watch Community from the first season to the fifth, I gained like 60 pounds. Woo!

So, and that was me going to eat donuts and stuff. So I realized I have to change my life in some way. And so that's what I did. I stopped eating all the sugar. I started walking. I'm not, I don't love exercise, but you got to do it. You got to move your body. And I want to be here for a long time. Yeah, we're talking about longevity, people. Yeah, yeah. It's what we need to focus on, I think, at a certain point. Absolutely.

What about women? So I hear you say that women over 50, over 40, over 50, they're overlooked. How do you say that that is changing in today's environment? You know, I think it changes by things like this, what you're doing, your podcast. It changes by women showing up.

How many women in here have felt invisible at some point? You know, you're on the air, you're getting off an airplane and they're helping everybody else with their bags and nobody helps you with yours. No one holds the door for you. And each woman that raised their hand can remember when that wasn't the case. You know the line of demarcation from when you were a woman that was seen and when you became invisible. Maybe it's one day you had a lash on, you went out without the lash and the lipstick and all of a sudden you're invisible. Right.

It's the worst feeling to feel invisible. Exactly. And so you have to then decide yourself, no, I still exist. I'm still here. I will vocally say, oh, you're just going to go get Sally's bag. You're not going to get mine. I'll say it. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, I'm a woman too. I'm a lady. So, you know, so you just have to speak up. And then a woman looks at you and she's like, my name is Linda. Who's Sally? Go with me, Sally. Go with me. Okay, okay. Understood. Understood. Jen, you were a badass on The Bachelor. Everybody that saw that, you're the first...

Asian American to represent on The Bachelorette. And you did an amazing job. You are so inspirational. Thank you. Thank you. Because you turned lemons into lemonade. Oh, I love lemonade. It's so good. It's so good. Your life is lemonade now. You killed it on Dancing with the Stars. Thank you. Thank you so much. Amazing. I was blown away. I didn't expect to see that from you. Me too.

either, honestly. Never danced a day in my life. Yeah, never. It was, dancing's very, it's very different. It's very vulnerable. You got to move your body and your booty in ways that you never moved before. And I've never done that before, so it was very interesting. Yeah. You've pushed yourself out of your comfort zone a number of times in the last year. Yes. Tell us how important that is. Yeah, I mean...

I think it's so important to push yourself outside of the comfort zone. And I think the reason that is is because I think oftentimes we're so complacent in our lives and we sit around and we're like, oh, why is this happening to me? Why is my life like this? Why is X, Y, Z happening? And I think...

our life is in our own hands. Like we have the power to change our lives at any moment. And it starts slowly. It's one decision to the next decision to the next decision. And for me, I've always had to push outside my comfort zone to reach the goals that I've wanted to reach. And if you don't do that, then you won't end up at the place that you want to be and you're going to be unhappy. So I think the

the overall message is to remember that your life is in your own hands and you are the person with that power at the end of the day. Jackie, when's the last time you did that? Push yourself out of your comfort zone. This morning. Never come inevitable to any. Was it putting on your suit? Cause I told you backstage how cute you look. I felt like putting this on. She looks so good. Adorable. I look like, oh, you don't have to clap you angel babies. I felt like putting this on. I look like a paper doll going out of the office.

Like a toy office worker. Okay, I'm obsessed with it, but a paper doll office. What I was going to say about what Jen was saying, damn it, Jackie, with the ADHD, what was the very last thing you said? Because I was going to say something before I did the outfit bit. You don't remember either? You have the power? Yes, yes, you have the power. You have the power. So...

I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday and we were having a conversation of when you have these hard conversations when you feel like someone's your boss but really kind of they work for you but it's this awkward or whatever you work together and I

I remember when I was more focused on songwriting, I worked with a publisher and he said this sort of cheesy thing, but I think of it almost every single day. And he was just like, I was in my 20s. I had nothing going on. I had no money. And he would constantly tell me I was the CEO.

He would be like, well, what decisions are you making on this? You're the CEO. You're the CEO of Jackie Tone Incorporated. You're the CEO of this song. You're in this room. It was your idea. You pitched the title. You are the CEO. What is it? And then I have chills. And it's like, to speak to what Gemma was saying, it's that feeling of you... We feel like everyone else is pulling the strings, and I think in a lot of ways they are. But of the things we can control, it's like I said about that weird story yesterday. It's like...

Without being mean, I'm the CEO and I'm asking for a boundary in this situation so I can get done professionally the thing I need to get done. And it's pretty cut and dry. And one of my friends was backstage with me and she's like, where do you get the balls? And I was like, I don't know. But I'm learning as I get older. You have to fake the balls. You have to fake the balls so you grow the balls. You have big balls. I have enormous, I can barely cross my legs. You have to fake the balls. This took a turn.

Jenny, I apologize. You should never have asked me. No, you know how much I love you. What did you ask me, too? We were talking about that. She did not ask you how you grew those. I'm the worst panelist that's ever...

No, I love you. Love you too. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about Jewish representation on TV. Okay, because you are killing it. Your character is, I'm sorry, the breakout on that show. That's really true. Don't tell anybody else I said that. I would never tell anyone you said that tweeted, everybody. No, don't use Twitter. No, I'm just kidding. Don't use Twitter, obviously. Delete your account. Please delete your account. Oh my God. No.

out here. Don't get me started. Do you feel proud? Do you feel like you're... Oh, I love that. ...representing your culture in a new way that you haven't before? Yeah. You know, I am very me. And...

Also Jewish, obviously. And it feels nice to not have to, you know, not every character you play is going to be you. Years and years ago when I was going on auditions all the time, I did an episode. I played like this girl with a drinking problem from the South on an episode of Memphis Beat. And it was so fun and weird and I had a big fake accent and it was just a delight. And this is the polar opposite of that.

This is a community of people and a crew of people that I'm working with who are valuing my opinion and asking my opinion and making sure that the Jewish representation is authentic and making sure that...

the people saying these words make sense saying them. And I got to tell you, it feels real good. It feels fabulous. My mother is plautzing. It's a delight. Wait, what does plautzing mean? It's like, plautzing is like Sheppinachas, Jenny. No, I'm kidding. I knew I would just make it more confusing. Plautzing is like being so excited for someone. Just you can't.

Keep it in. Yeah. Like you're watching someone succeed and you're just like over brimming with excitement. Jackie, I'm flossing for you too. Thank you. I know how hard you've worked. Oh my God. I feel that you actually are, Jenny. And not as a joke, I'll get emotional.

But I don't know you yet, and I'm so excited to meet you, but I know both of you, and you are both so authentically. So proud of you. Yvette, I'll cry if I think about how kind you are. Just so supportive and so warm. And when you see a person, I'm in my 40s. Like, I'm first, you know, it's nice to get yours when, you know, you're close to dead. Isn't that true?

That's how they treat us. They're like, you're how old? But yeah, you two are both, I mean, just for those of you out here, not that you would ever think they aren't, but so authentically supportive. And it's, I think it used to be a lot more rare, but I think now we find as we get older, like, oh, there's room for all of us. And keeping your elbow on someone's head, that's not making there be less room. Like we're going to find a way around. I've heard a phrase that says, a candle loses nothing by lighting another. Right.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another. And I think, especially in this industry, we're told only one can get through. It's a lie. It's a lie. It's wide open. Celebrate and support each other. And not just in this industry, in life. Help people. See people. Show up for people. Support people. It's important. And then what ends up happening is we all want to be around each other. And then we're friends. And so you end up doing something. And you're like, oh, my friend.

These people should come and do it. And so by not keeping your elbows on other women's heads, you're like, oh, we all have room to blossom and be near each other and laugh and be silly. Yeah. Hi, it's Jenny Garth. Now that I'm in my 50s, I am all about skincare that delivers real results. And that's why I choose Perricone MD. Perricone MD's award-winning formulas combine the highest quality ingredients with decades of research and expensive diagnostics.

clinical testing to back up their promises. Using these products exclusively, I've really noticed a dramatic difference in my skin. It's smoother, I feel glowy, and it reduces my fine lines. I feel like my face just looks softer and everybody wants to know what I've been using. Well, it's Perricone MD.

Perricone MD works as hard as I do, and it shows. Go to perriconemd.com and use code Jenny for an exclusive 40% off for a limited time. That's perriconemd.com, code Jenny, J-E-N-N-I-E.

GLP-1 injections have helped many people lose weight, but they can be costly and out of reach for some. That's where Henry Meds makes a difference. Even if you don't have health insurance, you can save over $1,000 a month with no hidden fees. Henry Meds offers affordable compounded GLP-1 treatments from licensed U.S. pharmacies, and their team of providers is with you every step of the way. Take control of your weight management journey. Visit henrymeds.com.

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It was such an eye-opening experience for me. When I started doing the QVC with my Q50 sisters, there's a group of women called the Q50. And we represent women of a certain age. And once I stepped into that environment of women supporting women and building women up and helping them and inspiring them, my life changed. I feel the exact same way. I was...

like an up and coming, when I was an up and coming comic, it's such a boys game. I mean, everything we do is a songwriting. I just all a boys game. And I think with women on television, there's generally only, there's one. Like,

Like there's one funny girl on the show. Is it going to be you? Is it going to be you? Who is it? And so you're always having to fight for your spot. But I also think that the changes coming from the inside where now things are being written, like at that, like Glow, that show I was on, they were like, oh, all the crazy chickens can come and play. There was 15 of us just absolutely being bonkers. And so there's just, it's nice to be in a space where there's like,

at least a little more room, you know, we got a long way to go. I will say you have to find those people though, because I think if you're confined in a space where a lot of your friends or the people around you are competing against you, then you feel like the whole world is like that. And I think I've kind of had to learn the hard way and cut ties with a lot of people over the years and realize like, no, those aren't my real friends. People who are competitive with me, who are jealous of me, like,

And so cutting ties with them is like the best thing I've ever did. And that's hard. That's so hard. Yeah. It is really hard. I call those, this is not catchy at all, but I've been calling it this for years, the friendship scissors. Yeah.

Got to take them out. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, baby. You're not happy for me. What is this? But you also have to realize it becomes easier when you realize if someone's competing with you, they're not a friend. They're not your friend. So it's not hard to cut an enemy off or someone that's out to get you. You know what I mean? And not that people are out to get you, but you understand either we're both rowing in the same way in this boat to get somewhere or you're digging holes and letting it sprout water and waiting for us to sink. Which are you? And if you are not rowing with me, you got to get out the boat. I don't want you to drown if I'm not in the boat.

Remember when I said that much less eloquently and worse than Yvette? Like maybe a minute ago? You know what, I can still relate. When you were doing The Bachelor, The Bachelor, I get them confused. Bachelor and Bachelor. Yes. Did you have that feeling inside of you or what was that environment like for you?

It's tough. I mean, it's women are going to be competitive when it's 25 of you dating one man. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's hard not to be, I think. And I mean, even I was pretty competitive, but I also kept my relationship very private when I was on The Bachelor. Like I was like, these girls are my friends.

but I'm also, my heart was in it for that man at the time. So you had to do what you had to do. But at the end of the day, after all was said and done, we are, a lot of us are still really good friends. So I think that's also something to be said about womanhood. Right. I think, I mean, to be honest, growing up in the business world,

feeling those competitive energies and especially with the way this industry works and being pitted against one another to get the role or to have more lines or to be pretty, whatever the thing is. I

I struggled with that, if I'm being perfectly honest. Even now? No, not now. Back then. I mean, there's still those little voices inside my head that I have to hold back sometimes. But you came up when it was really rough. It was rough. Like the 90s? Girl. I'm glad you made it out because it was rough. Me too. In the entertainment industry and on your show. It was a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, yeah. It was rough and I think that it made me stronger. Absolutely. But it also was very, is this the word, thwarting?

thwarted you thwarted me thwarted yep honestly one of the worst words it is awful you're using it properly but it's a terrible word as you said it's a right it's correct but it's horrible thwarted yeah and it wasn't sorry you had to use it i know sorry well it wasn't until later that i really realized that we are all in this what clicked what clicked for you

I have to be honest, it was meeting the Q50 women. It was meeting and realizing I don't want to surround myself with people who are insecure and challenging or like fighting with me for attention. I want to be around women that are smarter than me, better than me, and they can teach me. And I like when I find new friends like many of you here today, it's because you inspire me. Oh, yeah.

Since you've brought it up, can I speak of how much I love you? May I? Certainly. I don't see why you wouldn't. I'm a smidge older, but I was a big fan of 90210. You were my favorite. And I feel like I grew up with you because I was watching. It was my first year of college when the show came on, and so I watched the show. And my first time meeting you, but I've always felt that you were good people. I could always feel in my spirit that you were good people. So when this opportunity came to be able to meet you and be on this panel, I was like, yes, please. Mm-hmm.

So I want you to know that who you are shines. Even back then when you were going through whatever you were going through, your general kindness and sweetness and care for others always showed. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. It's so easy to get derailed. It's so easy to get derailed and to listen to the wrong messaging and believe it. It is so true. And to what you were just saying, Jenny, I was the exact same way. I struggled with it. I was very much...

You know, you just wonder, like, the one other girl on the show, like, how many scenes is she in? How many does she have more to do than me? And, oh, God, I only have one line, one nothing. I'm practically not even in this. And it's hard when there's so little, there was so little given to women, especially in comedy.

It's hard to not feel competitive and you try not to, but it did change for me. I was lucky. My Q50, I guess, it was glow because season one, it was there a little. There was a little juju of like, we loved each other, but it was quietly competitive. It was like, not passive aggressive, but it was just like,

Like, oh, how many scenes? Like, do you have a lot to do in this next one? And these kind of things. And then those conversations just went by the wayside once we started, like, fully watch, like, me watching my friends' kids and being, like, sort of ingratiated into everyone's families and lives. You just start loving each other and it doesn't matter anymore. So that's when it sort of dissolved for me. But I started acting when I was nine. So my entire career, I was really, like...

probably a little pushy and elbow-y because it was so important to me to get mine. And I wasn't. And it really didn't until I was 36. This is what's crazy about that, though. I believe cream always rises to the top, right? And so I think, I'll use my example when I was on Community because my character was not really written, and this is no shade against Dan Harmon. There were other people to do other things.

So I didn't have a lot to do on the show. It looks like I did because I knew that I was in the corner of the screen. And somebody, even I didn't have lines, somebody was going to look in that corner. So I would give them something. It would be a facial reaction. It would be a grunt. It would be, that's nice when it wasn't scripted. And I said, whoever that person is watching Shirley, I want them to have a good time. And so I take that with me everywhere I go. And it's not about stealing the scene. It's just, I don't, I'm here. The camera's doing a two shot. This is what Shirley would do. Yeah, it's a two shot, Shirley.

something to say about that. Exactly. Show something. So be in it. Be there. And the thing is, you still show up. So whether you have a line or not, whether you're the focus or not, even if you're in deep background, you're still there. You're still a part of this tableau, of this mosaic that's being created. And you were undeniable. There's no way it wasn't going to be you. Are you kidding me?

Give me my mom, Yvette Nicole Moreno. I'm telling you. I even sound a little like a Jewish mother. No, I love it. I appreciate you. I mean, this is how she speaks. It really is very heartwarming. And it means a lot to me. It really does. It's the key. I think you're such a great example of this. Building other women up. Absolutely.

It's so important. Brick by brick. We have to. This is the other thing, Jenny. I remember when I came into the industry, I have a group of friends, my tribe, my group that I came up with, we share information. So we will hear about an audition and go, girl, they looking for us. Gong, this is the cast and director. These are the sides. This is how many people were in the room. Because the other thing is sometimes you find out about an opportunity because it is someone else's opportunity. You heard about it first, but it was always Jackie's. So who am I to stop Jackie from her opportunity? If it's mine, it's got a bow on it that says,

that says event. No one can take it. If it's Jackie, it's got Jackie's bow. It's got your bow. So why am I not going to give her her present? Why would I not give it to her? She needs her present. I need my present. We each deserve it. I love it. Share information. Wait, this is not, we're just not loving each other enough.

You are, she's such an amazing human being, you guys. Do you know that she turned down season six of Community just when it was coming strong to take full-time care of her ailing father?

Yeah. She was the best. Yeah. 12 years later, we're still going strong, me and daddy. I saw him on the wedding video when they brought him down the aisle. Girl, the ugly cry. I was like, I'm about to lose this lash. This lash is about to just fall. Yeah, and that was a wonderful surprise that my husband, my dad has dementia, and he had a fall recently, and he no longer walks. And so the idea of trying to get him to the wedding, I was like,

I could, I mentally couldn't figure out how it could happen. And so I just said, I'll go to, I'll go after tomorrow. We'll put the dress back on. We'll go to where he's his carrier place and I'll show him the wedding. And my husband knew that I would not be okay if my dad wasn't there. And so after I met him at the altar, he says, do you trust me? I said, yes. He said, I'll be right back. He comes back in wheeling my dad in. There was not a dry eye in the girl. I was a mess, Jackie. I was a mess.

A mess, honey. So yeah, my dad is everything to me. And I want to say this since you brought this up. Guys, be mindful that before we leave here, we will all either be a caregiver or a caregiving. So you need to wrap your mind around what that means for you and know that it's not scary. Caregiving is just loving someone else. We do it every day. And if the person has dementia, we're a caregiver, a caretaker of their memories.

What a great gift that is to be able to tell my dad about his life. Daddy, remember when you used to sing in your doo-wop group back in Alabama? He said, I did. Yes, you did. It's a beautiful gift that you can give. So please, when it's your turn, lean into it. When it's your turn, let somebody care for you. Let somebody care for you and be okay with caring for others. You can do it. I promise you can do it. Okay? Please. I see you, honey. I see you. So,

I want to know, why are you... What are the emotions? I want to hear. I want to support you. You get it. You get it. Wait, wait. I'm going to bring you a microphone. Sorry. You're so beautiful. Take the moment, baby. You need the spotlight. Thank you, Jenny. You're so beautiful. So are you. Thank you. No, my... I...

I knew a little bit of Samantha's story. If you want to know my breast cancer story, it's exactly hers. We went through it the same time, 2014, 40 years old, everything. While I was going through my breast cancer, I was taking care of my mom who was going through bladder cancer. And to keep ourselves sane through it all,

It was one hospital after another, and we would just go to gift shops to keep ourselves going. And I know, I know. And I took care of her full time. I left my job as a flight attendant to take care of her, and I lost her in 2015. Sorry, honey. She was my rock. She was my best friend. I miss her tremendously. And...

Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's yeah. And I, I mean, I sat there and we told the stories and, you know, prior to that, um, I had lost my sister and my dad and it's, it's, it's terrible. Do you know what's something I will share with you? And I lost my mom in 2021 and I get it. It's, it's horrible. The grief is equal to the love.

It is. So when it is tearing you up, you will get to the point where you laugh because it's like, dang, I had a great mother. Oh, my sister was awesome because I am tore up right now. And that's the way it should be. If you're loved good, when they go, it's supposed to hurt. So just know that that is a sign that you did it right and she did it right. And I'm so sorry for your loss. And it will last your life. Your whole life.

You never get over it. Never. I hate when people say that, you know, when you're going to get over it. You don't get over it because you love that person forever and your grief will be forever. I carry it with you. Yes. Thank you for sharing. Give me a hug. Oh, my God. Thank you for... Jenny, can I share one more thing just in the caregiving space? And this is not... No, you are. You know about this. Yeah, this is not self-serving. I really... I did a podcast called Squeezed. And it was...

And it's about those of us that, like what she just described, where she's going through her own thing and then she's getting squeezed because she has to care for her mother. Some people are caring for children and also their parents. Please find the podcast because it is literally like a friend in the journey. You can turn it on.

And here it's like a docu podcast where you're hearing these lives and you're hearing people talk about what they're going through and sharing what got them through. You can put it on in the background where you're caring for someone. You can put it on the background where you're going through a treatment yourself and it makes you feel like you're not alone. So it's called Squeezed. It's everywhere.

Can I ask you a question about this? Sorry. How do you find the time to choose yourself when you're a full-time caregiver? I don't know the answer to that. Self-care is so bad for me. I don't know how to do it. It's good for me. I just don't know how to do it. And that's why the idea of I choose me is like resonating with me in ways I can't even explain to you right now because it's a choice, everybody. You really do have to say, no, I'm going to go get a bagel today. I'm going to go get my coffee. I'm going to take myself.

gets me every time. A little butter, toast it. The bagel gets you every time. In the movie, you know, go visit friends and have a bite of lunch. You have to find a way to prioritize yourself and it's not selfish. It's not. Yvette and I were saying this backstage, but very common concept, but

You can't help anybody if you don't have your own oxygen mask on. And so it's that. It's my mom's generation was all very, she used to tell me anything she did for herself was like very, it's very selfish. You're very selfish. It's okay to be selfish though. You have to be selfish sometimes. It's the only way you're going to survive. Exactly. And we have to change the word. I was just going to say that. You can't call it selfish. It's not selfish. It's caring for yourself, you know? Yeah.

It's choosing. It's truly selfish. You can change selfish from choosing, change selfish to choosing me. I choose me. I choose me. And then it's not selfish anymore. It's not selfish. It's vital to your well-being. Yep, yep. Hi, it's Jenny Garth. Now that I'm in my 50s, I am all about skincare that delivers real results. And that's why I choose Perricone MD. Perricone MD's award-winning formulas combine the highest quality ingredients with decades of research and expensive,

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Jen, what was the most badass thing you've ever done both on television and in your real life? Oh, gosh. That's a big question. Let me go get my PJs out. Let's get the wine out. You don't really spill. Let's see. I would probably say the most badass thing I've ever done on television is probably the Bachelorette finale. What?

when I was sitting across from my ex-fiance at the time. Ex? Yeah, ex-fiance. Excuse me. And I had to basically like confront him in front of a live audience on live television. Oh my God, I remember it so well. For the entire world to see and basically had to like fight through tears to find the words to confront him and get my truth out and talk to him and kind of call him out. And I will say that that,

would have been very hard for me to do like even two years ago alone in a room with like an ex but like to be able to do that on a stage where'd you find the strength in that moment balls I grew balls that day laughs

I gave her a special elixir. Yeah, she gave me the ball elixir. We don't need balls. Honestly, we really don't. Thank you. Let's change that. I don't want a hunt. Neither do I. Ew. No, ew. I don't. Sorry. No, we don't even, we don't even theoretically need, like we as women, yeah, we do not need, we don't need them. Anyway. I will say, I think there was a certain, like the live element to it definitely scared the shit out of me, but I will also say it also pushed me because I was like, this is my one and only shot.

This is the only time I have to say what I need to say to this man and to get him to hear everything I need to say and to get the world to hear everything that happens. Because otherwise, no one's going to be able to know what really happened. And that was kind of what pushed me over the edge there. All my daughters and myself are standing up cheering for you in my living room. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

So I'm sorry. How about in your real life? In real life. Well, that was your real life. No, that was kind of real life. Yeah, that was, that was two for sure. Yeah. I love that. And you have the courage to continue forward and keep finding out what's next for you by going on Dancing with the Stars. It was the best time of my life.

And that's why I say, like, take every opportunity you can. Because when I started The Bachelor, The Bachelor, I didn't know I was going to end up on Dancing with the Stars. Who thinks they're going to end up there, by the way? Nobody does. Nobody does. That was, like, a dream for, like, five-year-old Jen. Like, I watched that show all the time growing up. I was like, I always want to be on the show. I thought I was going to be a pro dancer because I was like, maybe I'll take some dance lessons one day. Never got to that stage. Never thought I'd be, like, the star of the show. But I...

It was incredible. And it was like the best time of my life. I truly do not think anything will ever overcome it because I just had so much fun. It was like the most therapeutic thing. And it came at such a therapeutic time. Like I really needed that. Yeah. Do you have girls coming, women coming up to you now and...

thanking you for being so brave? Yeah, I do. And it is kind of a crazy thing to hear so many people come up to me and thank me for just being the first Asian American bachelorette or for just being so vulnerable. But I think that the vulnerable part is the part that makes me so proud to be able to do because growing up, I was never so vulnerable in my household. My family never really talked about our feelings.

And so all those kinds of things were kind of just closeted. And so for me to be able to go on TV and just like talk about what makes me me, what I'm afraid of, what I'm most insecure about, what scares the shit out of me. I think it really resonated with a lot of people.

And to be able to just have my heart fully out there and for everyone to see that, I think more people need to do that. Yeah. Wait, you said vulnerable. Let's talk about vulnerability. Let's do it. I was just going to say authenticity works every time. Absolutely.

Every time. It's like you can't really choose to do it or not do it. If you are, you are. And everybody just feels it. Whenever I'm inauthentic, I can feel I'm out of alignment with who I'm meant to be, who I want to be. 100%. Yeah. And vulnerability is a good thing. I struggle. Do you? You struggle? Oh, yeah. I just did just now. I literally just case-appointed my own self. Wait. Explain it. What happened? Well, I just make everything funny.

Like I try to make everything funny. You deflect with humor. Always. But I feel very deeply and I love to connect very deeply and I'm super attracted to vulnerability. Like I'm a magnet to a vet. I'm just, you just, you dive right in. It's mutual, baby. And it's just this feeling of like, oh, this is so, it just feels so connected. But I don't, I don't lead with that. I think you ladies lead with that. I,

I lead with like, I'm in a doll work outfit. You know what I'm saying? I always have some schtick. What's scary about it for you? What is it about vulnerability? I don't know. Sorry, Jean. Okay, well, I just don't even know if it's scary or if it's like, I think if we're getting real real, I think it's inherited trauma because my mom is the most amazing, funny, wonderful person, but she is so sarcastic. And my grandma, who is a Holocaust survivor-

And the strongest, most amazing woman you would have ever met. I came out in my prom outfit and she's like, this is what you're wearing. And like, this is who we are. This is what we do. We never led with vulnerability. Like my grandma would be on the couch, like in her very, very old age. And I'd be like, hey, what are you doing? And she's like, going dancing. Dancing.

What does it look like? And you're like, okay. So I am from a long line of just like absolute capital wise assery. And so I just don't lead with like...

almost ever. And so I realized like in a relationship even, it's like I have to. Oh, yes. I have to like really, I go to therapy and then I'm like, how should I word it? Like what words should I say truly? Tell me what to do. Yeah, what are the words? And then I like come home and I struggle. Like even my boyfriend is like, sometimes I'll just say things and he's like, I don't think, I'm saying this to raise your consciousness. I don't think you know how you just said that. I don't think you just heard yourself. Wow.

And then I'm like dead serious. Do a line reading because he's an actor too. I'm like, how was it? And then he would do it back to me and it's like, ooh, ooh. But I don't mean it. Like I'm trying to have a connected emotional conversation. But you know what? I'll say this. You do have the ability to be there. Mm-hmm.

You know what I'm saying? So I want you, you can keep doing your work as we all should, but just know that you show up for people authentically and we can feel that you're there. We can feel that you love us. We can feel that you see us. So don't think that the wise assery is blocking the beating, sweet, delicious heart. I see tears. I see vulnerability happening. She knows I see her. And I want you to know that it's there. It still comes through. You know what I mean?

So just know that, honey. It's also like a muscle that you flex, you know? You're not great at it the first time, but the more you do it, the easier it is to get it open. Yeah, that's really nice. You guys are my girlfriends. Ride or die, baby.

like we've had a break here today it's really great it's really great what would you ladies tell each of you just a quick how can we be better badasses

Trust yourself. Your gut knows what you're supposed to do, what you're supposed to say, where you're supposed to be. You know it. And you know how you know it? Because when you don't do it, you feel bad that you didn't do it. You know when it's your moment to stand up and be the badass. And when you don't do it, you feel that you've betrayed yourself. So when you feel it, you know what the aftermath is going to be. I'm going to be home going, why didn't I say that? I should have just say the thing. Just say the thing.

Because the thing is, the people that are supposed to be in your life, they realize you're one of their people because you say and do the thing. If you don't ever say and do the thing, you will never meet the people that are supposed to walk this road with you. And as this world changes negatively, we're going to need people on the road with us and you want fellow badasses with you. So do the thing. Say the thing. Say the thing. Say the thing. Jen, what's your advice? Oh, my God.

I'm going to go really cliche here and say to follow your heart. I think with every decision that I've made in my life so far, I've done it with full chutzpah. And I've done it. Nice. I know a little Yiddish. Impressive. Yeah.

I've just... Every decision I've made, I've known it to my core that it's been something... Every decision has been something that I want to do fully. And no matter how crazy that decision has been, like not going to PA school and putting it on hold and going to do the bachelor, I just knew that it was right for me. And I will say, like, if something...

is scary to you but feels right to you just do it because if your heart is in it then it's meant for you I heard you're going back to school which is incredibly inspirational Jackie give it to me I think mine is just full circle and it's just advocate for yourself and that you're the CEO and no one is gonna work as hard for you as you're gonna work for you and also piggybacking on Yvette's a little I think it's really easy like

If you want to start something, to be like, ah, so many people are, like, doing that. It's like, yeah, everyone's doing everything. Everyone's doing it. Everyone's doing everything. They're not you. So, right, exactly. And so I think that's sort of my separating the badassery is just...

Do, again, do the thing, advocate for yourself. And like you run your business. I run this, very much run this business. And I think, you know, I have a hand in every single thing I do. Like if I get styled for something, it's like, you know, I think that goes for all of us. There's, I'm not just sitting there while other people are making decisions for me. I'm very active in my own badassery. You really have a leg up because you're younger. Yeah.

but thank you. Look at her. What's it like to be young? Yeah. God, I am, well, I'm 19 and I just had my bar mitzvah and I feel good. I feel young. I don't need glasses when I look at my phone. Oh my God. Okay, stop now. I do. I do need glasses when I look at my fucking phone. Okay, good. Sorry, don't swear. It happens to all. It's genuine. No, I just got glasses, unfortunately. I've been driving blind for the past two years. I finally got glasses for the sake of you guys. I didn't mean to celebrate.

I have loved this discussion so much. You have no idea. This is a diverse group of women. We all come from different places, different lives, but you are each and every one of you an inspiration to being a badass, and I hope you all feel that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, let's give it up for our badass panel. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Jackie and Jen.

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