I Choose...Brooke Shields
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Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

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Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style. From September 15th to October 15th, join us for comida, musica y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the old pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender.

Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone. Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us.

My guest today is a Hollywood superstar. Her career started when she was a tiny baby, and she has conquered just so many obstacles in her life.

She's known for Blue Lagoon and Endless Love, her breakout performance as Joey's crazy girlfriend on Friends, which led her to starring in her own sitcom, one of my favorite sitcoms, Suddenly Susan, where she killed it at comedy, and her most recent Netflix movie, Mother of the Bride. She is the subject of the documentary Pretty Baby Brooke Shields, which was a testament to how strong and smart she is.

how much she has endured in her long career that has spanned multiple decades. She is a mama. She's an entrepreneur. She's badass, you guys. Please welcome Brooke Shields to the I Choose Me podcast.

Thank you for being with us. Thank you for having me. I'll just jump right in. You've had some incredible highs in this business, but I have to admit, even considering all of that- And lows. And lows, right? I love what you are doing and saying right now. You are out front helping to knock down these archaic stereotypes that we should just be put out to pasture after 50 and never seen again after 60. So-

You've partnered with GSK to help people thrive at 50 plus. Let's talk about what people 50 plus need to be aware of when it comes to our health, specifically our immune system. We have to become, people have to really take their health in, in their own control and ask their doctors, ask their pharmacists about their,

your risk for shingles and about vaccination. There is so much that we are not made aware of and we have to ask. And it's so important that we understand the statistics that 99% of those 50 years and older actually already have the virus that causes shingles inside their body. Okay, so not all of them are going to get it, but by the same token, that's

That's staggering. I didn't know that. I had no idea. So when I heard it, I was like, get it out, get it out. And so I partnered with JSK's Thrive at 50 Plus campaign because that was the messaging that they really said to me was the most important for them. And the idea of really being proactive in this era of your life and being your own advocate is,

A million, about a million estimated people develop shingles in the U.S. just per year.

And it's painful and it's terrifying and it's disruptive. And it is it. I have a friend who had to stop work for two weeks and she didn't afford to do that. That wasn't, you know, and it really wreaks havoc on her life. So to me, it's important in this era when you talked about changing stereotypes, part of how we do that, we don't sit and just wait for a narrative to change.

we start speaking about ourselves differently. We...

Stop using words like aging or anti-aging or dry or all these words that are so synonymous with just being female over 40 practically. I'm 59. So, you know, this is, I'm definitely in the realm. And according to, you know, the stereotype, I got one foot in the grave. And that messaging was, I don't want my daughters, and you have three daughters, right? I do.

I do. Baby girls are always going to be your baby girls. Yes, I have a baby 18-year-old and a baby 21-year-old. And I want them to know that this is not the big, scary era of age, but we are armed with

Many positive things, many progressive ways that we can own our health, own our lives, and take a power that we are the messages that we're not, we no longer have it. And I don't even think about taking it back. I just think about revealing it even more.

I heard you in an interview once say that you didn't feel fully in your body until you were in your 40s. And I know that feeling firsthand. And I also know all that it takes to get to that kind of self-discovery when you grow up in the business that we have grown up in, when you just want so much to be confident in just being you. Why did it take us so long to grow up and to

truly love and value ourselves? Okay. First of all, we're in a ridiculously denigrating and degrading, I can't even say the word, industry. So first of all, our whole industry is based on comparison. You have to look like that, or you're not enough of this, so you're not that. It's just all about that. It's negative and it gets drilled into us from a very young age. The thing that's amazing to me is this is

Every woman's flight, really. Ours is played out on this ridiculous stage. And that comes with its own challenges. But...

It took me until I was pregnant, actually, because being pregnant, my body finally had a purpose aside from looking a certain way or being a certain standard or fitting into something or living.

looking like so-and-so. And so that was a really important rite of passage for me. And then just, it started when I was 40. I just started to realize that I could do things on my own terms, that I didn't have to

go through the checklist of making sure I was being a good girl or that everybody was going to like me. I went, I started shifting the way I asked myself questions. And to me, that was a very, that was the first step towards being

You know, again, we say love our bodies. Well, there's stuff that's hanging a lot lower now that I wish wasn't. I wish I enjoyed it when it was higher, but I did not enjoy it when it was all in its perky place. And, you know, I feel bad about that because I wasted some time for my

for myself. Yes, yes. You wasted all that time loving yourself. Yeah. And then you start to really see yourself as a whole, not as your waist size or as a healthy person, as someone who is not afraid to take their health on their own terms and ask questions, ask their doctors, ask their pharmacist. You can ask your pharmacist about

everything from your risk for shingles about vaccination, about anything that this is the period of time where we need to really self-advocate. I love that. And that's so true. I've always had a real level of respect for you and I see you and I see how you are someone who has always appeared. I don't know if this is the case, but

But you always appeared to have had a sense of yourself, even during times in your early life when maybe you didn't have a lot of agency over what was happening. You didn't only survive, you excelled. And you had to protect yourself. You had to protect your mother. Then you had to protect yourself some more. And then you had to protect your girls. It takes someone who really understands who they are.

to be able to protect like that. And that is something when I see you and when I think of you, that's what I think of. Thank you. That is absolutely lovely and beautiful. I don't know how, but maybe it was because I started so young and my mother kept me away from so much of the industry. And I went to

all regular grade schools and schools and high schools and college and all of that with just kids who were not in the entertainment industry. I don't know. I think that did have a positive effect on me. I think I somehow learned at an early age that I didn't want them to win and weakness would allow them to win.

And so I sort of had to fake it till I made it because I would think, oh, no, I'm not going to I'm not going to let you whether whether I was terrified in between side or not. I didn't want to let them know and I didn't want to let them get the best of me. And I think that I was so stubborn like that, even just as a little girl. And I had to protect my mother, like you said, when you have to protect your mom, it's almost as all bets are off.

Even in a different way than your children. I mean, I kill for my children. But there's something about protecting your mother source that causes you to have to be really creative in how you stay strong and really creative in how you keep your feet planted. And I started ferreting out things that I knew about

people couldn't take away from me. Education, my really close friends from high school, those little things that were like my checkpoints to know that whenever I saw the craziness or the bad behavior, that was, I would say, that's all right. This is my home. And I think I was really lucky that I practiced that growing up and over time, the sense of self.

materialized. It didn't take, it wasn't easy. You know, it happened mentally through university or according to the way I would process information. You know, we're not taught to have opinions.

When we're, you know, nobody really asks us what we feel or think about something, whether it's a role or a part or something, you know, you know, this better than anybody. And so you get so used to not having a voice that it's kind of comfortable. It's familiar, you know, and so it's,

finding that I had my own intelligence was a revelation. Then finding out that I had this body that would do something extraordinary, like have babies was like, I couldn't believe my luck, you know? And I think just over time, you have to fight for it. And I,

I don't know. I think I never even wanted to take drugs because I didn't want to be unaware because I needed to be at the ready all the time. Something comes at you here, you're ready for it. You know, I mean, it's a hell of a way to have a childhood, but eventually, you know, it started coming naturally. Right.

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if

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Terms apply. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style. From September 15th to October 15th, join us for Comida.com.

Música y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the Old Pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender. Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva.

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Your work ethic and your drive also inspired me in my career and in my personal life. And I just kind of want to ask you, what motivates you to keep reinventing yourself time and time again? Because I know for me, that's what it is. Like I look back now and I say, oh, that's where I was at a certain point in my life. But somehow by the grace of whatever, I managed to turn that into something else and then something else and then something else until here we are.

Um, rejection, failure. And not wanting them, you said before, not wanting them to win. Yeah. And, and, you know, you get enough of that, which is all the time you, you start thinking, okay, well, I can just sit here and stay in that place or I can pivot enough to stay creative, but keep moving through. I, you know, I, you can argue whether it's forward or not. I don't, you know, who knows, but, um,

There's this pivot, you know, out of college, I couldn't get a couldn't get a film job or a TV job. And I was like 20 pounds heavier, bad haircut. And I was no longer the Brooke Shields that went into the university. And I all of a sudden I came out and thought they're going to like me because I was an educated actress. And we know how Hollywood likes smart actresses.

And I thought, oh, oh, OK, well, what can I do? And it became, you know, can I write? Can I get this theater open up for me? Does TV open up for me? Because I wasn't in TV at that point. And so it's this idea of just not losing, just continuing to move through.

not giving up. And also, you know, we worked hard when we were younger and still to this day, I had a work ethic instilled in me by my mom. I mean, my, my daughter just recently did her third internship at TMA. And the first thing I said to her was show up earlier.

Leave later. Make yourself necessary. I don't care if you have nothing to do, find something to do. Be proactive. I don't care if it's holding someone's head over the toilet if they're puking and bringing the, you know, anchor coffee or rewriting a script or, you know, handing out. I don't know. It doesn't matter what it is. Keep your eyes and ears open and work hard because that's the one thing that can't be taken away from you.

Oh, sure. Did you ever feel at any point in your life that you were like significantly stuck in that before the pivot? Definitely. First of all, I've got to say your voice is so soothing. And when I hear mine, I feel like it's grating. And then you start talking like, oh, thanks. I guess maybe it's a lovely thing. Thank you for being such a beautiful presence. And every time I, I,

I had to always go through that crying and angry and I'm worthless and I hate this and I'm never going to do it again. And I can't do it. And I'm all these things that I listened to all my bad tapes. And then I realized, Oh,

This doesn't feel really good. So I better change my way of thinking and distract myself by something else that I haven't been rejected by. So I think that that's the place that I felt the most stuck and did not see a way out was through postpartum depression. That was that none of my old habits or approaches or beliefs changed.

Had any place when I was experiencing that something like that, that flattened me that nothing else had ever done before. Nothing had ever undone me before. And this undid me. I mean, it just goes against everything.

As women, it's so shameful. It's like I had it on my third daughter. And I know exactly. Not the first or second? Yes. I don't even know if I had it on the first or second, to be quite honest, because I was so out of my body at all times, just like functioning and continuing forward that I didn't really ever just drop in and feel my feelings. I was just do, do, do, do, you know. I didn't know.

Yeah.

Like, it's not like that for, for, it wasn't like that for me either. Nope. And I think that, you know, it's hard to feel like a failure, but we're so prone to feeling like failures as women. We're all, we're told why it's our fault. And, and believe me, I never even knew that I had this rather feminist approach to things and it's nothing against men, but I never, I just, my value, I never realized how threatened it was all the time. Right.

And then you have this biochemical situation with the something that you're told is supposed to be so natural. And I was convinced I wasn't normal, you know, when I was a huge failure and made a huge mistake and shouldn't have played God and all of this. And all of that is unnecessary punishment for us. You posted a video a couple of weeks ago, I think now about being an empty nester.

I'm really close to that. And there's just such a mixed bag of emotions for me surrounding that big milestone. How is it? How are you adjusting?

So that I'm thankful to my children for even telling me how to do trending TikToks or maybe that wasn't, I'm not quite sure what it was, but whatever that was, they, they totally directed me in it. And that's, that's the only way I get to do those things is if they tell me I should do it. You know, it, the second one is different than the first one because, or the third, because it does leave a different type of emptiness and silence that, that,

It's just really unfamiliar. So I think that that was sort of the first shock, but then they're thriving so much and they have each other. You're so lucky. But then you go through the fear of not being needed anymore. Yeah.

And therefore my worth is like, well, what do you mean? They're not crying and missing their mother. Like that now it's threatening, you know? And then you sort of like, you know, it's just you and the dog and you're kind of like, oh, this isn't so bad. Like I have time in a different way to be ambitious, to do nothing, to be with friends, to say yes without checking for schedules and practice and basketball and whatever.

Parents and this, you know what I mean? Like there's, there's this whole world of scheduling that I don't have to consult anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Which is really, really freedom. Got time. It's your time to shine. Yeah.

Yeah, the 21 and the 18-year-old, they're still at home with me. But I mean, just watching them grow into these incredible, like self-aware, driven young women is just the gift of life for me. And my daughters have really held me up at certain times. Have you?

Have you felt that? And did you ever feel any like guilt or shame around that? Because you were supposed to be the one that has it all together, even though you're just going through everything for the first time yourself and learning as you go. Like, I remember feeling like, wait, I'm supposed to be the strong mom here. I mean, yes, absolutely. But it was interesting the way it happened for me. My younger daughter was in a tizzy about something and she was...

explaining to me what I, where I was wrong and where, but not really wronged her, but just where I was looking at the situation inappropriately and unnecessarily. And she just laid it into me with such clarity and no judgment, just, and love, like there was love in her judgment, which is interesting, but it was true. And I just loved,

First, I laughed. I burst out laughing and she got madder and madder. And she was like, why are you laughing? This is not funny. And I said, sweetheart, I hope and pray for you. If it's what you want, you always have to clarify everything now that if, and when you choose or hope or are blessed with having a child, it's

they will one day turn around and teach you and it will shock your system and you will realize what a gift it is. And I said, you know what? You're absolutely right. I was not acting in my best interest and my ego was driving me. And it was just, it didn't, it was about, it was about wearing clothes and believe it or not, it was about something absolutely frivolous.

But the lesson was she had such clarity. And I thought, I've done my job well enough so that they are their own people. So it's not threatening to me when the roles are reversed. I was relieved for my daughters that she was able to...

Teach me and educate me. Right. At first it's like a tough pill to swallow. Like you're like, wait, what? This is not okay. Rule reversal. But then I'm so grateful. Like, I feel like, Oh, I've done something. Well, I've done something right. Well, that's the thing. You're like, how dare you be so right? And you're like, Oh, it opens a conversation. So it really does. It's like, it's like with anything, you know, I, I,

you know, when your girls first go to a gynecologist and they're, and they're all, you know, you no longer, you're no longer going in there with them. Well, by the time we're at the gynecologist and usually not, but I mean, the conversation and you start teaching them to ask questions for themselves, ask questions. This is your body. You're able to do that. It's what, it's what the Thrive Up 50 Plus campaign is about. It's like, it's,

Every step of the way, we have to learn that our bodies are our own and whatever that entails to you and be proactive with it.

So it's all these messages that I never learned as a child and took me a long time to learn. And it took outside influences to help me learn that. I'm trying to save them a little time and at least pepper the information into their lives and hope they hear it. I love that one.

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember...

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style. From September 15th to October 15th, join us for comida, musica y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the old pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender.

Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva.

My brother-in-law died suddenly, and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10-year, $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called SelectQuote. SelectQuote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month.

A savings of $369 a year. Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a $5 million policy, SelectQuote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote.com. That's SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote. We shop, you save. Full details on example policies at SelectQuote.com slash commercials.

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I loved your documentary, Pretty Baby. If anybody that's listening didn't see that, you should definitely go watch it. It takes so much bravery to share yourself on that level. You opened up about some of your darker moments in your life, and I found that riveting. And now I just want to know, like with all that deeply personal information that you've shared out there in the open, how do you feel? Because I know after I've shared sometimes I feel like, oh, no, no.

how can I get that back? I think you always feel, what have I done? But going into it, I, I really, I talked to the director and I said, look, I'm going to hand over all of my archives to you. And all I ask is that as you were watching through, as you're combing through this, that the narrative that you'd come up with is something bigger than me. Yeah.

Otherwise, it's a true Hollywood story or worse. Where are they now? And, you know, and so you're like, oh, God. But what I believe this director did and I had to just trust so that that was and I will say I have been burned so many times by trusting that this was the ultimate trust, but.

I felt like it was time and it was appropriate. And she made this documentary about a larger conversation about the sexualization of young women, especially in our society. And it just broadened the view of one person's story. And I was the conduit to a bigger conversation. And that to me is the biggest gift of all. Did your daughter see that?

That, that they see the reason that you did it. One of them did. The other one did not. My younger one, Bob will forever be angry with me. I, she was ambushed with the information. I just, it was a bad, bad mom move on my part. I didn't set her up and she doesn't like being surprised. She doesn't like being, she felt sort of cold cocked and I,

I just didn't, I assumed it would be fine. I thought, well, she knows her mother, her mother's healthy and not damaged. And, you know, and I thought it would be, she would be able to look at us now and think like, wow, you've come a long way. And isn't that great? And no, no, no. She said she will never be okay with it. She will never be okay with anything happening to me. And my older daughter, um,

really thought about it and said, well, it was tough. I don't need to see that again. But

Women need to see this. So I think that period of maturity helped my older daughter to understand it differently. And I'm not sure where my, my 18 year old is going to get any better. I don't know if she's going to, maybe she'll get there. Maybe those years will help. It's not the hard way. Yeah. Don't we all before I let you go, Brooke shields, what was your last? I choose me moment. Oh,

So it's so menial and silly. That's okay. Over the weekend, I had so much to do. I had so many errands and packing and unpacking and moving and work stuff and Zooms. And I literally...

got a cup of tea, went out on the little swing on my small little front porch. And I sat there for an hour and a half and did things like strands, connections, needlepoint. I did this, like all these things that were, that I never really do. And they were just sort of mindless. And I,

I felt like I had had a vacation or a massage after about an hour and a half. And that was, I chose me for that hour and a half rather than waking up and going directly into chores and things that I had to do and errands. So just choosing me in a quiet way was healing for me. Yeah. Sometimes it's just those moments that we need.

Sometimes it's staying up till four in the morning, binging some show. You know what I mean? Like sometimes I feel like I'm getting away with so much. If I still have to get up at six or seven the next day, but it doesn't matter because that quiet time is mine. And, you know, I used to feel guilty for that and I don't anymore. I love that. I've loved our conversation and I love what you're doing. And I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much. Good luck with your latest, your last baby. Thank you. Thank you.

I want to thank Brooke for coming on. She is such an inspiration to so many women that you can be anything you want. You can change and evolve as many times as you like in this lifetime. And I love that. As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want you to try a little self-care. Okay? When was the last time

You had a bubble bath or got a massage or sat on your porch. My favorite form of self-care is usually sitting outside like Brooke, just enjoying nature and turning off my mind from all that is going on up there. I also love bubble baths. So maybe you'll find me in one later today.

This week, I want you to put yourself on your calendar and have a little I choose me time with no guilt, no shame, because it is vital that we put ourselves first here and there.

Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You can check out all our social links in our show notes and you can rate us and review us and tell me things that I really want to hear and even tell me things that maybe I don't want to hear. Use the hashtag I Choose Me. I'll be right here next week. I hope you will choose to be here too. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold.

Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember...

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style from September 15th to October 15th. Join us for Comida.com.

Música y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the Old Pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender. Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva.

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