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Jennie's Journal...Aging

2024/9/11
logo of podcast I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

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Jennie Garth: 本期节目中,Jennie Garth分享了她50岁生日之际的日记内容,展现了她对年龄增长、公众形象和自我认知的复杂感受。她坦诚地描述了长期以来对外貌的依赖,以及由此产生的不安全感和对他人评价的敏感。她回顾了自己在不同人生阶段的公众形象,从青少年时期的“金发美女”到为人母后的“辣妈”,这些标签在一定程度上塑造了她对自己的认知。她承认自己内心深处存在着渴望被认可和优越感,并将其归因于不安全感和自我膨胀的自我。她描述了这种矛盾心态给自己带来的痛苦和挣扎,以及她在照镜子时产生的极度自我否定和自我肯定的冲突。她反思了过去几年在自我提升方面所做的努力,并对未能完全接纳自己感到沮丧。她认为50岁这个里程碑式生日加剧了这种焦虑。然而,她也分享了积极的转变。她意识到自己对年龄的看法发生了改变,并开始欣赏自己身体和容貌的历久弥新。她加入了一个50岁以上女性的社群,从中获得支持和鼓励,这帮助她更好地接纳自己。她鼓励听众寻求支持,并强调自我接纳是一个持续的过程。

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Chapters
Jennie Garth reads a journal entry from her 50th birthday, reflecting on her career, self-image, and the pressures of aging in the spotlight. She shares her struggles with insecurity and the challenge of balancing public perception with her true, introverted self.
  • Jennie Garth shares a vulnerable journal entry from her 50th birthday.
  • She reflects on her career and the impact of being defined by her appearance.
  • Jennie discusses her struggles with insecurity and the pressure of aging in the public eye.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from? Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs? Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back.

And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history. Seeing that the most popular cocktail is the margarita, followed by the mojito from Cuba, and the piña colada from Puerto Rico. Listen to Hungry for History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hello. Welcome to the I Choose Me podcast. I was thinking, you know,

On I Choose Me, we're always talking about trying to level up and do the best we can. And for me, journaling has always been something that I've done when I needed to just pour out my thoughts and feelings on the paper. Sometimes it's like dramatic and sad. Sometimes, honestly, it's more like rage journaling.

Whatever it is, I write down the thoughts in my head and it helps me to get clear on things. So I thought I would share with you some of my journal entries. This is risky, very vulnerable. I'm gonna do it anyway. This is one from September 13th, 2022. Okay, 50. This may not be for me, this aging gracefully thing.

I don't know that I'm going to be okay with this. My entire life has been predicated and dedicated and relentlessly based on my outward appearance. Growing up, I was the baby of the family and I got a lot of attention.

Then in my early career as a teenager, I was the blonde one, the hot one, the rich Beverly Hills girl one. Then in my early 20s and on, I became a mom and I was referred to at times as the MILF. Sorry, I know that is gross and my daughters are not going to want to hear that. I mean, do not get me wrong, please. I've lived a charmed and privileged life. I had a safe and loving childhood and I've been really lucky in this life.

I acknowledge that and I am so grateful for all the incredible things I have experienced. But I never had to do much or say much, really. Didn't really matter. I always felt like most people weren't even listening to me anyway. I've always felt stereotyped, always felt compared and judged. Maybe that comes with being famous. I don't know.

But I usually got what I wanted or at least attracted attention, which looking back, I guess fueled me in some unhealthy way. I always say, oh no, I don't want attention, but I don't think anyone ever believed me. But the honest to God truth is I am shy. I am an introvert and I don't like being the center of attention at all. I guess that's only part of me.

The other part can't seem to live without needing to feel validated or somehow better than other people. Oof. At least in my distorted mind. Like way in the darkest, ugliest parts of my character. Better than someone? Really? That's like the opposite of what I'm feeling. That's my insecurities talking. That's my ego talking.

We all have ego, which is fueled by our thoughts and our feelings, which I've learned aren't even real. They're just made up in our minds. But right now I am so disgusted with myself. I don't want to feel like that anymore. I have to acknowledge it, I guess, and expose it in order to defame it. I think those nasty, ego-y, comparative thoughts have made me angry at myself.

Because now when I look at the mirror and see myself, it is so polarizing. It's either I think, okay, you're doing good. You're a beautiful woman and I love you. Or, good Lord, you look old. What happened to you? You should never let anyone see you. You should never go out in public. I know, dark, right? Why am I still so insecure?

Why hasn't all the work I've done on myself until this point in my life changed the way I think of myself? Will I ever truly love who I am? I mean, that was feeling sorry for myself journaling, I guess, saying things to my journal that I would never want to say to anyone else. And here I am saying it to all of you. It was a lot. That was a lot there. When I read this now,

I feel sad for her. I feel sad that she has wasted any of her precious moments here on this earth, not loving herself. This was only two years ago, you guys. After years and years of therapy and feeling like I'm on my path and I'm finally getting a handle on

you know, doing the right thing and loving myself more. But I guess I'll blame it on this milestone birthday because there's a lot of importance put on turning 50 out there. And I guess in here too.

Hi, this is Jenny Garth from the I Choose Me podcast. If you're managing a challenging mental condition, weekly therapy can sometimes feel like it's not enough. You may be looking for a way to spend more focus time on you. That's where Amend Mental Health Treatment Center comes in. I recently took a tour at Amend in beautiful Malibu, California, and the facility is so gorgeous and serene.

The dedicated team of doctors and therapists with deep clinical expertise were amazing. Designed to give you the time and space you need to have that breakthrough. They have two unique locations in Malibu that surround you in natural beauty and pure calm. Find out more at amendtreatment.com slash start. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Hey, friends. I'm Jessica Capshaw. And this is Kamala Luddington. And we have a new podcast, Call It What It Is. You may know us from Graceland Memorial, but...

Did you know that we are actually besties in real life? And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. And what does that look like? A thousand pep talks. A million I've got yous. Some very urgent I'm coming overs. Because, I don't know, let's face it, life can get even crazier than a season finale of Grey's Anatomy. And now here we are, opening up the friendship circle. To you. Someone's cheating? We've got you on that. In-laws are in-lying? Let's get into it.

Toxic friendship? Air it out. We're on your side to help you with your concerns. Talk about ours. And every once in a while, bring on an awesome guest to get their take on the things that you bring us. While we may be unlicensed to advise, we're going to do it anyway. Listen to Call It What It Is on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, fam. I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side, the daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that is guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we bring you conversations with the culture makers who inspire us. Like our recent episode with dancer, actor, host of Dancing with the Stars, and now novelist, Julianne Hough.

I feel really whole. I feel like the last few years I've really unraveled a lot, which is part of what this book is about. And I really feel so content, which is a word that used to scare the crap out of me. And I love that word now. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've had some time to settle into this whole 50 thing. And

I'll be honest with you, it was an adjustment. Yeah, and I did and I still do. Like maybe a few days ago, look in the mirror and an automatic oof will come out of my mouth because I don't look like that young version of me that everyone thinks, you know, when they think about me, that's how I should look. That's how I'm forever like crystallized in their brains. And I get hung up on letting people down.

I mean, I hear it all the time. You're standing with some people and somebody will look at somebody and they'll say, oh, wow, she looks so much older. I've done that. I've said that. And then I'm like, hello, I'm standing right here. I can probably assume that when I'm gone, you'll be saying the same thing about me. I internalize it as if they're probably going to be talking about me later. Women aren't really allowed to age. I mean,

What the fuck is that about? Sorry, excuse my language, but it's so messed up. It's a tale as old as time. Men get better looking, more rugged, and women just get old. That sucks. That's just so messed up. At least those are the messages that I've heard in my experience. I don't know about you. I don't feel old in my body. Well, that's not actually true.

My body feels older, like my physical form, my bones and my things, you know, my aches and pains and working out is harder on my body. It takes me longer to recover. And when I get out of bed in the morning, my body feels different. It doesn't feel young and springy and completely unaware of its pains. I mean, come on, 52 is not old. 52 is midlife now. And honestly, I

It has become like no joke, the best years of my life. Since I turned 50, so much has happened for me. So many things have changed in my life for the better, mostly. I've never told anybody I felt these feelings before because they're just like deep, deep inside my mind, my insecure mind. But I bet if I'm thinking these things and other people are probably thinking them too.

That's one of the things I've learned is most people aren't thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves and the conversations that are going on in their head about themselves. Just like I was focusing on the conversations in my head about myself for years and years and years. And I still do it. It still happens when I have to go show up somewhere or make an appearance or be in a photo shoot or be on TV or do anything like that. Go out in public. Honestly, you guys.

Just going out in public for me. I still think those things. And I feel like I'm so damaged because of it. Like I feel like something is wrong with me that I can't feel beautiful and love myself no matter what others think, no matter what sort of, what's the word? What's the word? Like pressures that I feel other people are putting on me. So I don't know. Maybe it's, like I said,

In the journal, maybe it's because of what I do for a living or just being seen since I was young and like a, what's they call that? A spring duck? No, spring fish? Spring chicken. I was a spring chicken. And yeah, I am shy. I'm an introvert. And I still feel that way today. If I didn't have to leave my house and my backyard, I wouldn't.

I love being home. I love feeling safe and protected. And with my close, close friends and family, I don't know. It just makes me feel safer. And I'm not sure what that is about. I have to get past that because I have to keep living my life. I'm only 52. Don't get me wrong. I have a really full and

and busy life, but most of it happens from my house right now, unless I go somewhere for a job or, you know, fly to the East Coast or whatever it is. But yeah, that feeling of needing to feel validated by others, I guess it's still in me. I don't know where it comes from. But I'm going to work on it because I don't like it.

And honestly, as I've gotten older, there are glimpses of moments when I do look in the mirror and I do love myself. I look at her and I say, wow, I love you. And I'm so grateful to you for all of these years that this body and this face has held up, you know, 52 years is a long time. That's half a century. And I don't, no one knows. I mean, we all know, no one knows.

If today is our last day here, we have to be able to live our lives to the fullest and not let our minds control our happiness or unhappiness. And I don't think it hurts that since I turned 50, I've joined this incredible group of women who are all over 50 and we have a Facebook community. Yeah.

That did really sound old what I just said right there. But we support each other and we teach each other how to love each other and we encourage one another and we root for each other. And that has really lifted me up in the last few years. So I don't know. I would recommend if you don't have a group of women your own age who you're talking to and sharing stories with and supporting one another, I

I would recommend you go get in a Facebook chat. Is that what it's called? Facebook chat room? I don't even know. But go find some support on the internet because it is there and it makes a huge difference. And you know what? I'm just still, I think until my last breath, I will be a work in progress. I will be a body in progress. If you know, you know. But yeah, it's interesting when we go back and look at our old journals and

And we see the struggles that we've been through. And sometimes the struggles, you read them over and over at just different points in your life. And sometimes the struggles are the exact same challenges. They're the exact same things, just different circumstances. So I guess that message is keep on working. Keep on trying. Don't give up. Don't let yourself take no for an answer on loving yourself.

Thank you guys for listening to I Choose Me. I hope you're loving the podcast as much as I'm loving doing it. And yeah, just follow us and rate us and review us and all that jazz. I love you. Have a great day. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold.

Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. This election season, the stakes are higher than ever. I think the choice is clear in this election. Join me, Charlemagne Tha God, for We The People, an audio town hall with Vice President Kamala Harris and you, live from Detroit, Michigan, exclusively on iHeartRadio. They'll tackle the tough questions, depressing issues, and the future of our nation. We may not see eye to eye on every issue, but America, we are not going back.

Don't miss this powerful conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris. Tomorrow at 5 p.m. Eastern, 2 p.m. Pacific on the free iHeartRadio app's Hip Hop Beat Station. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from? Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs? Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back.

And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history. Saying that the most popular cocktail is the margarita, followed by the mojito from Cuba and the piñocolada from Puerto Rico. Listen to Hungry for History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

How do you feel about biscuits? Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit, where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the biscuits. I was a lady rebel. Like, what does that even mean? It's right here in black and white in print. It's bigger than a flag or mascot. Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.