Picking Up The Pieces
I Choose Me with Jennie Garth
Deep Dive
What is the best way to introduce your kids to a new significant other after a divorce?
Introduce the new significant other in a low-pressure, neutral environment, such as a coffee shop or ice cream outing, for a short duration (about an hour). The focus should be on the kids meeting the new person, not witnessing the parent's connection with them. Gradually increase the time spent together in subsequent meetings, like bowling or a movie, to allow the relationship to develop naturally.
Why is it important to acknowledge a child's pain during a divorce?
Acknowledging a child's pain validates their feelings and helps them process the reality of the situation. Telling them 'I can't fix it' is crucial because it aligns with their experience that things are not okay. This honesty fosters trust and emotional healing, allowing them to navigate their feelings more effectively over time.
What are non-negotiables in a post-divorce relationship, and why are they important?
Non-negotiables are deal-breakers that individuals define after a divorce, such as lifestyle preferences, communication styles, or whether a partner has children. They are important because they help establish boundaries and ensure that future relationships align with personal values and needs. These should be fluid and adaptable as individuals grow and evolve post-divorce.
Should you share your non-negotiables with a new partner?
Yes, but not as a rigid list. Instead, embody your truth and communicate your non-negotiables naturally over time. For example, if having children is a priority, express this early in the relationship. This approach ensures alignment without overwhelming the other person or creating unnecessary pressure.
How can someone move on after a divorce when they still have feelings for their ex?
Moving on requires acknowledging the grief and pain of the loss, similar to mourning a death. Leaning into the emotions, seeking support, and reminding oneself that feelings are temporary can help. Reflecting on why the ex is no longer a safe or viable choice, even if they were once loved, is crucial for emotional healing and moving forward.
What is the role of self-advocacy in post-divorce dating?
Self-advocacy involves standing up for your needs and desires in a relationship, even when it feels vulnerable. It’s essential to embody your truth and communicate your non-negotiables clearly. While it can be scary, this practice ensures that you pursue relationships that align with your values and contribute to your emotional well-being.
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