When Your I Do Part 2, Was Your I Do Part 1
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Who do you know on Anxempic or semaglutide right now? Probably a ton of people. I know a ton of people too because it's everywhere. And for good reason. These groundbreaking GLP-1 medications are changing the weight loss game. At Future Health, they make accessing them simple, safe, and affordable.

Their program connects you with licensed doctors who specialize in GLP-1 treatments, including ozempic and semaglutide, so you can get the support you need to reach your weight loss goals. With Future Health, you'll have access to these trusted weight loss meds, plus ongoing care through their network of over 6,000 doctors and pharmacies nationwide. And it's easy to get started. Just go to tryfh.com. That's tryfh.com.

Find out if weight loss meds are for you in just three minutes at tryfh.com. Tryfh.com. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Results may vary. Sponsored by Future Health.

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history.

Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back.

Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti-racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last.

Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Scott.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dressing. Dressing. French dressing. Exactly.

Oh, that's good. I'm AJ Jacobs, and my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Something about Mary Poppins? Exactly. This is fun. You can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. Listen to The Puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ♪

Hi guys, welcome back to I Do Part Two, the podcast for people that maybe got love wrong the first time or the second time or the third or fourth time and now find themselves back out there looking for love. My name is Jennifer Fessler and you may or may not know me from the Housewives of New Jersey. I also have a podcast that I co-host and

with Jackie Goldschneider from the Housewives of New Jersey. It's called Two Jersey Jays. And I am honored to be hosting I Do Part Two today.

I'm a huge fan of all of the founders of this podcast, Amy Robach, TJ Holmes, Jenny Garth, Jana Kramer. I know you guys know them. And I also am a big fan of being open and honest and telling your story. And I don't know, I feel privileged to have been asked to tell mine. I hope that you guys who are listening can relate to some of it. It is, like every other story, it is a...

sad story sometimes difficult to tell but ultimately the good news is it has a very happy ending you know I spoke about my love story my marriage I spoke about it on housewives a little bit in season 13 maybe even into season 14 but not really the details of it so I'm just going to share

you know i've been married for 25 years and two of those years were really really difficult and actually my husband and i separated but i'm getting way ahead of myself so i will give you a little bit of information just about me um i grew up as the product of divorce for sure so my parents divorced when i was three years old

And so I don't remember that part of my life really, but I can tell you that they both got remarried and they both got divorced again.

and remarried and then uh my second stepfather passed away i have a third stepfather now and my second my my dad got divorced again and then married again and divorced again so i am certainly an expert when it comes to parents getting divorced um and you would think that my own experience uh well i'm sure it was affected by that but

You would think that that would have been really helpful, but when I was separated and considering divorce, but everything is, God, you do the best you can during difficult times. But so my childhood was not idyllic by any stretch of the imagination. My parents didn't speak to each other. There really wasn't like a co-parenting situation.

I lived, my mom, when she got remarried, we moved to Sugar Land, Texas of all places. And my dad was living in New York City. And I guess, you know, we went, I have sister, I have one sister through my dad and my mom. I have two brothers from my dad and a stepmother who's no longer my stepmother. And then I have a sister from my father and his third wife.

that sister is actually younger than my daughter. It's a whole dysfunctional, effed up mess. But anyway, so I come from a lot of chaos and my parents certainly did not get along. They didn't really speak and we were shuttled back and forth, a lot of craziness. So, you know, when I met my husband, I, well, first of all, I was dying to have babies and get married.

even after all of the chaos that, you know, I had been through as a kid. I really...

that biological clock was ticking. I met Jeff and I was the director of a dating service called It's Just Lunch. And the premise behind It's Just Lunch, I actually think it still exists, was that professionals are really, really busy and nobody has time for dinner necessarily on a first date. And how about we just meet up for lunch or a drink, see if there's a spark and move on. So

I was the director, which was really a crazy job, but that's for another episode. I was the director of this dating service and trying to get my numbers up and get people to join and reached out to Jeff Fessler because he had been a client before I got there and his membership was...

had expired. So I called him up one day and my name is Jen and I would love to meet you. I know you were a member and your membership has expired. And he's like, no, thank you. It wasn't great for me. I'm not interested. And being Jeff Vessler, I was able to persuade him and, you know, you haven't met me yet. I'm the new director. And I think that, you know, you can have a different experience anyway. So he came in like that afternoon and he, uh,

Joined, joined again, but the interesting part of that was that he said, you know, you have all these questions you have to ask. Like, what are you looking for? What are you looking for? You know, mentally, emotionally, physically. And he's like, what am I looking for? Look in the mirror.

And if you know Jeff, if any of you have ever watched The Housewives or seen him on it, that's not really his personality. He's very introverted, sort of shy. And so I didn't realize at the time what a big deal that was. But so I said, no, sorry, I have a boyfriend, which I didn't. I was not attracted to him. Not that he wasn't attractive. I just didn't have a spark.

And not to mention the fact that I was working for this company and really shouldn't be dating my clients, but that was probably second to the fact that I didn't think there was a connection. Anyway, he was very persistent and started calling me at work and, "Please, let's get together. We can just be friends." And it's funny because I met him for a drink and

He walked in to, we had a drink at the Four Seasons on 57th Street. Anyway, he walked in and I thought, not for me. Jeff is 5'5". He likes to say he's 5'6". And the only thing I cared about for sure at that time when people would fix me up on blind dates was that he had to be tall. Because I always had sort of like this complex about being a bigger girl and, you know, careful what you wish for. What is that saying? We...

Wait, we do something and God laughs? We plan and God laughs anyway. But we became friends. But he was always still interested. And I wasn't, but we played that little game and still hung out. And eventually, I told him I'd fix him up. I am the director of this dating service, so come in and we'll talk and I'll show you some pictures of some of the women and tell me who you like and whatever.

So he did that. And the second he started to pick out those women that he liked, I started to get really annoyed. And I was like, excuse me, you are in love with me. What is happening here? So I started to feel something for Jeff. And at the time I was dating someone else.

I'm trying to kind of wrap this up pretty quickly, this part of the story, you guys. But long story short, on one particular day, I kissed the guy I was dating and I kissed Jeff Fessler. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. It's Jeff Fessler. It is not this guy. And very quickly, I was like, wait, wait, wait. I love Jeff Fessler. And very quickly after that,

we were engaged very quickly after that we were married very quickly after that we were pregnant and so um once i realized that he was the one he kind of figured it out before i did i just i was like you know amen let's go let's start let's get this part of my life rolling um the family the house in the suburbs um

All of it. I was it was so exciting that time in my life and you know, we had been really really close friends for a while and Once that once I kind of crossed over into falling in love with Jeff it was Of course, it was more exciting and different but the basis of our relationship was always that we were best friends and

Today I would tell you that that is the most important part of me and Jeff Fessler. I mean we are family and he is everything to me, but I just I had that with him always. I still have it today and I tell my kids all the time how important that is to not just fall in love and have you know all of the pheromones and the hormones and the you know sparks

and that kind of a sexual connection, but also to really like the person you decide to spend your life with, right? And to respect that person. And I felt all of that for Jeff Vessler. So we get married and

We do the newlywed thing. We do the new parents thing. And four months after we got married, I was pregnant and gave birth to my son in 2000. In 2002, I gave birth to my daughter and was, you know, just...

i don't want to say playing that role that's not it's really not the way it felt i was living that life i was just everything was about you know the babies and jeff and our new family um and i guess like seven years into the marriage uh well things probably started to change before that maybe they started to change a little bit year five i don't know but i i

i started hanging out with friends who loved going out on thursday nights in my town and we would go out to whatever local restaurant or bar and we would drink and we would flirt with guys and i there wasn't anything specific happening i wasn't i didn't have an affair but i sort of like started to check out a little bit and i started to crave that attention that i did

for years from men. I have lots of daddy issues, but I always felt the need to draw a man's attention. And, you know, the beginning when you have little babies, I wasn't feeling that as much. And then all of a sudden I was like, I started to, um, started to need attention from men again. And so I

it was kind of like a thing. I mean, I don't know how I found this group of women that also wanted to go out on Thursday nights because my best friends who are still my best friends today, a lot of them have been divorced, but there are some of them that didn't really crave that. I don't know. That's just where I was at in my life. And Jeff and I were not connecting. He was working crazy long hours. He was an associate

who was trying to make partner and at a law firm as a lawyer. And so he was traveling all the time. And, you know, I used to with the kids and another friend of mine, I know his husband was traveling all the time. We always said we were like sister wives. And it was like, you know, four kids together and the two of us getting them through anyway. So I was out there as my point. And

my marriage was definitely not my priority at that time. And it wasn't for Jeff either. And so, you know, we were just not connecting. We were not connecting on an emotional level and we were not connecting on a physical level. And eventually I discovered about year seven, I guess, that Jeff had an affair. And yeah, that was a hard day.

Podcast is not long enough for me to get into all of the details of it all, but I will tell you that it was a very strange thing. This woman that Jeff was involved with and I had this conversation and I don't know, I knew almost immediately that something was up. But that's not the point of this whole big picture story. But I, as you would expect, completely lost my mind.

I'm saying all of this to you first about my going out on Thursday nights and the headspace I was in because I do believe that it was just a matter of time before it was me. And so everybody, you know, I got so much feedback and advice. And I remember just like my mom saying, how could you stay with him? And, and

But I guess I knew there was a part of me that knew that not only does it take two, but I almost felt lucky that it was him first because I could place all the blame on him. But I had been flirting with other guys and whatever. I know that I was headed in that direction. Who do you know on Unzempic or Semiglutide right now?

Probably a ton of people. I know a ton of people too, because it's everywhere. And for good reason. These groundbreaking GLP-1 medications are changing the weight loss game. At Future Health, they make accessing them simple, safe, and affordable.

Their program connects you with licensed doctors who specialize in GLP-1 treatments, including ozempic and semaglutide, so you can get the support you need to reach your weight loss goals. With Future Health, you'll have access to these trusted weight loss meds, plus ongoing care through their network of over 6,000 doctors and pharmacies nationwide. And it's easy to get started. Just go to tryfh.com. That's tryfh.com.

Find out if weight loss meds are for you in just three minutes at tryfh.com. Tryfh.com. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Results may vary. Sponsored by Future Health.

I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to talk about the wildest true escape stories in history.

to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow. Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Sarah Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast, where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast. Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. I'm a little nervous. I'm excited. I'm excited, nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open.

That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great-grandmother, Abuela, and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Come to me.

Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me. Thought you was the father but you're not? Come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can guarantee that I will help you. As a daughter, a sister, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I've learned a lot in life. So I'm using my own perspective and experiences to help you fix your mess. Send me your situation and let's fix it as a family. Listen to Carefully Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back.

Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti-racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last.

Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Once I discovered that Jeff had had an affair, we probably spent, I guess, about a year still together. And the summer after it happened, I said to him, I'm going to Florida because I'd had lots of friends in Florida. My sister was in Florida. I'm taking the kids for the summer and I just need some space.

this was not a separation this was just i just want to go to florida i want to you know be by my friends be by my sister found a little rental went to florida and not only found a little rental found myself a little boyfriend and so the end of that summer i'll never forget jeff came to visit and i told him that i wanted a separation and

it's interesting because i remember when he came to visit and we actually took the kids to disney and when he left i just will never forget my son just being so distraught i want to go home i want daddy you know i didn't factor in when i got separated i guess because i had been through so much divorce i didn't factor in how hard it was going to be not only on my kids but to watch my kids

in that kind of pain you know they weren't my parents were divorced when I was three and then they got divorced again and again and again and again and so you know my mind kids are resilient and but it was it's a whole other level of difficult and you know I think probably every mother and father feels that right when heard it said that like when you're getting divorced

you get to the point if you go through with your divorce where nothing matters except that you can't be with this person anymore because it's so hard it's so hard especially if you have kids well it's hard even if you don't obviously but it's so hard to watch your kids go through this with you and so i guess i think a lot of people get to the point where they're like okay listen the kids are resilient um i don't care about the money um i don't care about being alone i just can't be in this marriage anymore

but that was not the case with me or jeff so but i had this boyfriend and i was convinced that you know it was time and that i wanted a divorce so i went back to jersey and jeff moved out and he moved into new york city and um was distraught i have to say and the boyfriend my boyfriend at the time moved to jersey from florida

i did so many things wrong you guys that i wouldn't not do again and that i'm sorry for even though in the end there's a happy ending but um you know i was so caught up in this feeling of my heart racing from this guy and you know he's a nice guy he was a very nice guy and this passion that i was feeling and that just took over in a way and

I would have, I had to do it again. I would have slowed things way down and I would have, you know, potentially just hap, it all seemed to happen so fast and him moving to New Jersey and introducing him to my kids and, you know, them forming a relationship. So, you know, you live and learn. And the thing is though, you know, Jeff and I were separated for a year and a half going on, going on two, but the whole time we were separated,

we just didn't seem to move forward in the divorce proceeding. So we got a mediator, which was an easy choice to make because there wasn't a lot of animosity there. Anything there was just like, I just felt so sad and so badly because Jeff really did not want to get divorced. Although he did, he got a girlfriend also. But we would like,

i don't know there was no screaming at each other over money i remember at one point i said to him listen i'm not worried i don't we don't need a lawyer because i know you i know your heart you know what kind of father you are i'm not at all worried that you're gonna screw me i trust you and i'm sure that people everywhere friends i don't remember at the time they were probably like you're you were a freaking idiot but i just i knew him i know jeff fessler and um so we didn't like we weren't at each other's throats when the kids would call uh

to complain about, I don't know, daddy said this or daddy did that. I was sort of like, honey, you dialed the wrong number. Do not complain about your father to me. And, you know, he was the same. We were just very respectful of each other and sad and just very, very sad. And eventually there are a lot, there's a lot that went down, but eventually, you know,

We were both on vacation. Jeff took the kids to beaches in Jamaica, maybe. And I at that time went to St. Barts, very glamorous, with my boyfriend. And the whole time I was there, I was so sad. And it had nothing to do with this guy. Again, perfectly lovely guy, treated me very well.

But I just missed my family. And when I would talk to Jeff and the kids, you know, and they were in a whole different, they were all inclusive. And I don't know, I was at this glamorous hotel. It was like, you know, a fortune and hobnobbing with the rich and famous. And all I wanted to do was like be at the buffet at Beaches in Jamaica. And I just, I guess I just, I missed Jeff. I just missed him terribly.

So got back from vacation and would like lie to my boyfriend and tell him I was going to mediation. And meanwhile, I was like meeting Jeff at Chili's and just talking. And, you know, he was so certain that we were making a mistake the whole time. And I think I was, I also, I knew in my heart that it was a mistake. Because again, it's not easy to get divorced. I think that

most people maybe not everyone but most people that do they're they're pretty positive right and I just didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler and there were so many reasons for it um Jeff Fessler make made and makes me feel safe and makes me feel peaceful I heard who said this maybe Mel Robbins um said something once it resonated with me and it was that he's like she said

Don't wish to fall madly in love. Wish to fall peacefully in love. And I know like at the beginning of any relationship, there's the sparks fly and there's all of that energy and excitement and crazy sex and all of that, not always, but hopefully. But I would say, and I have said to my kids, all of that after a while, it's not that it goes away entirely, but life gets real.

And so that did definitely dissipate for us, that excitement and life got real. And I think that we both were looking for that excitement again, as opposed to looking to each other to find it and to put it back into our marriage. I say all of this to you, by the way, I'm not a marriage counselor. This is just, I'm just, this is just, you know, my experience, but yeah.

We, again, we went to Chili's and then it was Valentine's Day and he bought me these little earrings and it was like, okay, enough. This is clearly, we are not ready to get divorced, but we also knew that we couldn't get back together and then have it happen again, right? You can't do that to your kids again. So we had long conversations and I just knew that I didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler in it.

not only in it but you know as my husband and so we made that decision and try again i remember we went my kids always went to sleepaway camp and we went to visiting day and we sat down and we're like you know we have to tell you something um we are getting back together and i just remember them staring at us and like i was like you guys i promise

I promise you this is not going to happen again." I don't remember the exact words that I used, but they were confused, of course, and happy, of course. We sold our house because it was just time for a fresh start. Same town, moved into a new house. Actually, we're in our third house here in Upper Selva River where we live, and we started again.

let me just say first of all um i am not suggesting that anyone follow in the path that jeff vessel and i did and i'm not saying that separation for sure is the answer i can only speak from my own experience and say that things changed and they changed for better uh it's funny because in my town like a lot of small suburban towns everybody talks right so like when we got separated everybody talked um when

you know everybody knew about our infidelity and everybody knew when I had the new boyfriend and whatever but uh when we got back together I think that's probably when people started talking the most and I started getting phone calls from a lot of women um confidentially reaching out and saying listen I

you know, whatever, I really am not, I want to get separated, but I'm not sure I want to get divorced or women that were separated. And how'd you do it? What did you do? How'd you manage to get back together? And I don't even know. And I didn't know then. I really don't know now if there's a clear cut answer. I just, I couldn't divorce him.

i'm thank god um because i feel blessed every day that our marriage survived and that you know our family is intact but um i just didn't have that conviction i guess that i wanted to live without my husband and we were both humble enough to also we went to therapy of course and like admit our mistakes and talk about the infidelities and talk about

you know where things went wrong and how we took each other for granted um and so yeah so we got back together and life began again we've been married for 25 years and so i'll tell you that my marriage is not perfect and i am certainly not perfect i am the biggest pain in the ass

Jeff is close to perfect. I would say that. He's an amazing father and he is an amazing man, just a good man. If any of you out there are Jewish or know the word mensch, that's what Jeff is. Good man. And I'm very lucky and he puts up with a lot of shit. I am messy. I am at times lazy, cranky, nasty,

And my husband is very, very patient. He's not perfect either. So let me say that. And he can also drive me crazy. But I see in him, I feel, how's this? I feel lucky all the time. I feel like very, I feel just very blessed. So fast forward, I guess, all these years, I will tell you that Jeff and I are not,

We are not guided by this spark. I use that word. I hope you guys relate to it. In other words, we ain't hanging from the chandeliers, right? We're not like, and that's not to say that I'm not trying to put down our sex life or our connection. I'm just trying to be real and tell you that those things are

good, but they are not. We are, I am 56, Jeff is 62 years old. So that is not our priority. And people, you know, a lot of people would disagree with me and do disagree with me that that has to be a huge priority, right? Sex and date night and connection. And we're together all the time, obviously. But I don't know that our marriage is based on that stuff.

And that's not to say, I don't know if it's good, bad, or I don't know. I'm just, this is what is for us. And we are, to this day, we are best friends. We are parents of these, you know, two incredible people. And, you know, my sister has been through divorce and many, many of my friends have, but she always says to me that she's specifically because of the kids. She's, I don't know if jealous is the right word. She's my sister, but she wishes that she had

family unit and that it's so nice to, you know, be able to be together, the four of us, after all of these years. And so I feel very, very lucky about that, right? No one will ever love your kids as much as your, as much as their father or their mother, you know, your, whoever you made them with. And nobody's ever going to be as invested, right, as the two of you.

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the proof that GLP-1s can help them is just, it's a no-brainer for them. And I am so happy for them. Future Health gives millions of people affordable access to weight loss meds for less than $3 a day.

Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in three minutes at tryfh.com. That's tryfh.com. Again, tryfh.com. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Results may vary. Sponsored by Future Health.

Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast, where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast. Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. I'm a little nervous. I'm excited. I'm excited, nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open.

That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great-grandmother, Abuela, and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history.

Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow. Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Sarah Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Yo, what up? It's your girl Jess Hilarious and I think it's time to acknowledge that I'm not just a comedian. It's time to add uncertified therapists to my credentials because each and every Wednesday I'm fixing your mess on Catholic Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Got problems in your relationship? Come to me. Your best friend acting shady? Come to me. Thinking about cursing that one stank auntie out at the next family gathering? Do it. But come to me before you do because I cussed all mine out before. You want to fight your co-workers? Come to me.

Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me. Thought you was the father but you're not? Come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can guarantee that I will help you. As a daughter, a sister, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I've learned a lot in life. So I'm using my own perspective and experiences to help you fix your mess. Send me your situation and let's fix it as a family. Listen to Carefully Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back.

Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti-racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last.

Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. But things are different now. Oh, God, they are so different now. Certainly than before we were separated. But even, you know, over the years, things have changed. And we're getting older. And so, you know, when people ask about my

the state of my marriage, like I always talk about the stuff that I love about it. I mean, I can tell you things I don't love about it, but the things that I love about it. So I love going on vacation with Jeff Fessler. We've traveled a lot together. And what I love about it is that we've developed this rhythm and we kind of like he knows and I know exactly

When we go on vacation, we plan it all around the three meals. Every day, where are we eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner? And we are, like, when I say foodies, I don't mean we're fancy. We're not. But we are both, that's what we care about the most is where are we eating. Of course, the sightseeing. Of course, seeing different places, meeting different people. But there's a limit to that because we're

we know that I'm done after the morning sightseeing. Like the afternoon has to be chill and whatever that looks like. And that we're gonna go out to dinner early because I need to be in bed by 10. And Jeff has adopted that way of vacationing. And he's also like that now. I don't know, we have a rhythm and we understand each other. We laugh a lot. We also fight.

I don't know about a lot, but we definitely fight. We laugh a lot. There's this peace in my house that I did not have growing up and shout out to peace. So plenty of my friends who are single,

i've set them up i try to um and i say there's a lot of them who are my age a little younger a little older and sometimes they don't connect with whoever they're dating and you know on the first date or the second date and you know there's a lot of i don't know i don't see myself having sex with them or i don't see my heart's not racing i don't know i'm and i could be wrong about this but

if i was single now what i'd be looking for is not necessarily that spark i think that's great if you find it i'd be looking for peace i'd be looking for companionship i'd be looking for someone whose life views matched my own someone that i could have fun with and who is solid and who would

Jeff actually, interestingly enough, comes from the opposite childhood that I had. His parents were married for over 50 years, two of the most wonderful humans that have ever walked the face of this earth. Max and Phyllis Vessler were just everything. I get choked up even talking about them. They had the most beautiful marriage, and he just lived and died for her.

the same but she felt the same but she had a lot of health issues and he just always took care of her and he set this example i think for jeff um you know of what a good husband looks like and i you know people you know i'm honest about jeff's affair and about then i had my own affairs plural but uh jeff is the kind of husband that just shows up period and shows up for his kids i think i'm all over the place you guys excuse me if i am but like

I don't know why this story is popping into my head, but when my son was graduating middle school, Jeff had won this award, this huge award. He won Lawyer of the Year. He's a securities attorney, so like in his area. I want to say Citibank sponsored this. It was a huge event where he was being honored, and it fell on the same day as middle school graduation. And I was like, Jeff,

I'm sorry, but Zach's not going to make his middle school graduation either. We're going, you're going to this gala honoring you. And for me, there was no question. I was like, this is a once in a lifetime and he was not having it. And he had to have someone from his office be there to take his place. And I'm bragging about that because I'm so proud of,

that because I know that if it was me and someone was honoring me for being the best friend of a housewife ever, they could have been graduating from college. We were going to that party. And so I bring other things to the table, but I am a little on the selfish side. But that's

That's just who he is. And so today here we are, you know, we are in our golden years. I don't know. We're middle-aged, a little older than middle age now. And life is hard and it has dealt us blows like it does us all. And we do the best we can and we fight and we have unhappy moments and unhappy periods of time. But, um,

i don't know i i feel very very lucky to have made my marriage work and you know to know that i'm growing old with this person who is just he's just so nice to me i mean that sounds so silly right but he is he's so nice to me and i try to be so nice to him um

and just appreciate him and we're very different you know i'm i am outgoing i'm an extrovert jeff's an introvert i remember at the beginning of our marriage it used to really annoy me because we would go out with other couples and jeff was very quiet he is very quiet not at home at all and not in work but he socially he can be and so he wouldn't say much and i used to get pissed and get big fights on the way home and now it's like

I don't give a shit. And he talks when he has something to say and he bonds with the guys that he bonds with and he actually enjoys being social more than I do. It's up to Jeff. We would go out at least twice a week. Once a week is more than I'd like to be going out, but he's very into it and he loves being social. He loves all this reality TV stuff and the house. I love it too, but he really loves it.

But I used to get so mad at him. And now as we've gotten older, it just does not bother me at all. There are other things that bother me. There are other things that we disagree on. He gets mad at me for, I mean, many things, but it's just different. It's like we went through it and it really sucked and we learned from it, I guess. And we are both so grateful to be where we are today and

um you know we're not in couples therapy anymore uh but that definitely helped I would definitely recommend that you know we are I don't know our house is very peaceful that's what I want for my kids and for anyone who's listening I would tell you that yes fall madly in love I want passion for the people that I love I want them to experience romance and passion and everything that goes along with it

And I'm not saying it's not still part of my marriage. He walks the door and sometimes my heart does skip a little beat. I'm very proud of him, but that is not the basis of it. The basis of us is, you know, it might sound funny since I've talked about infidelity, but it's trust and it's respect, mutual respect. He is smart and I love that. I know he's very proud of me for everything

that all this silly world that I've become part of but he's he loves it he loves watching me do my thing um and he tells me appreciates me and you know even the podcast that I do with Jackie the fact that I'm doing I do part two today you know he's always like I know he's very very proud of me we're good to each other but you know I mean that's that's kind of our story and

It's, you know, we haven't had a perfect story, but I wouldn't change it. I say that. Yeah. No, I wouldn't. Like, I don't, again, I'm not recommending separation, but for some reason it was probably the best thing that ever happened to us. And so I'm grateful for it. So, uh, you know, I get asked sometimes if we would ever do like a vow renewal. Nah.

people say that i mean no i don't know we're not i jeff jeff is not one for for words i don't know i mean we write each other beautiful cards but i don't see that for us i think it would just be i think it's a beautiful it's beautiful when people do it but for us it would just probably be kind of cheesy and i think we're just there's no question now that we're committed and

our vows are in place. Listen, never say never. I feel as positive as I could that our marriage is now going to last till death do us part. But again, you never know. So listen, for anyone out there who maybe is thinking about reconciling with an ex, if there's a chance

And I'm not saying an ex necessarily a boyfriend, but like if you're married, if you have kids and you're thinking about it a little bit, you know, if you're asking me, I'm going to tell you, yeah, like pursue that. Maybe have some more conversation, you know, maybe go to mediation and therapy, maybe go to Chili's and have a margarita and try to speak nicely to each other. If there's still that conversation,

Part in you that's not sure you know Divorce is hard. It's hard on the the people that are getting divorced. It's hard on the man It's hard on the woman or the two men or the two women and it's hard on the kids so I For me it worked to try again, so if there's a chance I would encourage you to try to explore it because it is

It's really nice to have been married for 25 years. Actually though, excuse me, Jeff says 23. He won't give me the 25 because of the two years we were separated, but I'm telling him 25, especially when it is time for gifts. So, but I wish everybody out there love, whether it's your part two, your part three, your part four,

whatever that looks like whatever form that it takes and you know if it means divorce i'm also for that you know nobody i don't i wouldn't have wanted to set an example for my kids of being unhappy and living unhappy and fighting constantly and and i don't think that's healthy i know that's not healthy so and there are of course cases where divorce is the way to go we got we got lucky so i you know

I recommend if you're having doubts to at least respect those doubts maybe. And I hope though if you do or if you don't, that you are at peace and happy in your relationships or happy alone. Or if you're at the beginning of your relationship, if you're at the beginning of a marriage, if you're beginning of your second marriage, I recommend, I don't know, mutual respect and friendships.

and laughs lots and lots of laughter okay guys so thank you so much for allowing me to tell you my little story here um i really love what this podcast is about and i hope that maybe sharing my experience may help someone going through something similar you know if you're separated if you're going through divorce you can always if you have questions

please DM me, please reach out. You can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All the information is going to be in the show notes and you can rate the show. You can review it. If you feel like it, I would love it. But I do part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Thank you guys very much for listening. Who do you know on Unzempic or Semiglutide right now?

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Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history.

Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back.

Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti-racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last.

Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Scott.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.