"Celestial: The Legend of Time" (w/ Matt & Bowen)
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Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. In person and tactile. We need to touch. Let's get tactile. We're going to need each other for this one. You think? Bitch, there's a pink elephant in the room. There's a pink barb elephant in the room, and...

In putting together the doc for the year of our cultural excavation we're about to do, I thought to myself, this was a rough one. This was a rough year in many ways, not in the obvious ones, beyond. But we'll get into that. I'm getting ahead of myself. But you know what? I have to really shout out a piece of culture that does not have anything to do with anything we're going to talk about. Let's start on the positive note. Let's start on the positive note. I'm about to say some lyrics. Spit bars right now.

Bring the lights up, bust the doors down. Here we go. Dust yourself off, shake it up, shake it up. Does that mean anything to you, Selena Gomez? It does, and it's literally so funny that you say that. What? Because can I tell you, this is a song of yesteryear, but can I tell you, I'm still listening to one song and one song only. Single soon? It is single soon.

I play it non-stop, Bowen, Yang. What is the connection you feel to that song? The melody, the themes? When I am, I'm going to break out in tears. When I'm listening to Single Soon by Selena Gomez.

I feel like I am untouchable. I feel like I'm that girl. You can't tell me there's a more empowering series of sounds than the three minutes plus. I don't even know if it's three minutes. That's what I love about it too. It's a little snack of a tune. A little snack of a tune. Should I do it on the phone? Should I leave a little note in the pocket of his coat? Yeah. Single soon. It's a contender for me for record of the year.

No one just had to literally collapse. This is the first real conversation we're having about the culture. This is a huge contender for record of the year. Single soon. Are we going to get a live performance at the ceremony this year? Don't you dare dangle that in front of me. And this is the million dollar question. Are you going to let someone else perform that or do you need to sing through...

Do you need to be the vessel for that? Oh my god, is this the year where we do individual numbers? I don't know if I have it in me. Bowen. No, no, no, we're not, no. You have it in you, girl. Girl. I'm not talking about cock. Ah! Oh god, it's been a while. Girl.

It's been a while. Not that. Wow, that's a real cultural excavation. I mean, we'll get to it. I bet we will. Sometime. Okay. We said there's a pink elephant in the room. Gag City is in ruins. Gag City never was. Let's get that straight. Why don't you go first? Take the floor. We are living through the life cycle of maybe the most effective diss track ever.

Let's say that one line, no name mention, is sending these girls spinning out. Frenzied. Frenzied, and it takes someone like Megan Thee Stallion, who is the total package, who has been poked and prodded for years now by these people. And by these people, I just mean the general biomass of women

and entities that have, like, made such disgusting light of this really terrible thing that happened to her, for which she was vindicated in a court of law. Mm-hmm. This saga that she has openly said, like, I wish that bullet had killed me. Like, this is a fucking trauma that this woman has to replay in her mind. Like...

Let's just say daily. Like, I mean, the din, the noise around this incident has been in her head for years at this point. The biggest names in music have, like, mocked her for it. Are we not surprised that she would, like, unleash her fucking fury on these tracks, on Cobra, and now on Hiss, which is...

Let's just say an impactful song. I'm saying it's the most effective diss track of all time. Well, she barely had to lift a finger to get, I don't know, I guess you could call it a response from Nicki, but then I guess it would have to be of quality to even call it a response, but continue. Let's just start there. I mean, the response, if we're going to talk about it, is—and we are, obviously—

The response is literally like, put the phone in the corner under a desk while I fucking, I'm a Spongebob meme and I'm rocking back and forth saying like, these people are fucking angry. Basically, what we can conclude is that fame at a certain level is a disease. And it's brain rot and brain damage on the same level as like fucking CTE.

Okay? Like, this has carved out, cratered out a full lobe of this person's brain. And it's really sad to see. And just for our accountability, because a lot of Reader's Keys publicist finalists have rightfully wondered what our attitude on Nikki is, confused by it, a little surprised, disappointed. Totally fair. I think we have been, through the years, very...

very sentimentally attached to Nikki in this way that a lot of people might be, but a lot of people aren't, and that's completely fair as well. I think we have such an emotional connection to Nikki, you and I. Yeah.

that it needed something like this for us to finally, like, come out. I mean, we were, like, over here being like, oh my god, Pink Friday 2, last time I saw you, let's talk about it. I haven't listened to that song since. I really haven't given the album any spin since. I don't even care for the album that much. That's the ironic part of all this. Yeah. Is that, like, her quality has been nothing. It's in a ghost of who she was in her prime. And I don't even like saying that about women. But, like...

It's been years since she actually was worthy of the zeitgeist. And she needs things like this in order to attain visibility because the quality is not there. I understand that there's people that

are bopping to some of the songs. I get it. I see some of you gays with your FTCU on your Instagram story. Couldn't be me, but like, I do understand that some of you are still clinging to that. But can I just say, outside of the baseless, derogatory, offensive, desperate content of what

I guess she thinks she's achieved here lyrically in Bigfoot. It is so fucking sad that this is what Nicki Minaj has become. Because I will still hold, and I do think two things can be true, that she, in her biggest, most effective day,

was the most consequential, influential, important female MC maybe ever. And I believe that what she represented to so many people and the crossover that she was able to achieve and the level that she was able to get to is really important. Those days are over. There is something wrong with her.

And you will not hear me talk about her and any of her new work on this podcast again. It is a full denouncement from me because she is a bad, toxic person.

And the negativity that emanates from her day in and day out, minute in and minute out, second in and second out on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok, on whatever, on whatever the queen radio is. I don't even know if it still exists. I don't pay attention that much. I enjoyed her at a point as an artist, period.

And I just want to say what's really pathetic is a couple things. One, that she's out here on, like,

social media bragging and chuckling it up about how she had this huge debut of the song, I guess it's called Bigfoot. It is called Bigfoot. I know what it's called. I'm not going to pretend I don't know what it's called. But she's out here being like, wow, biggest day ever for a female rapper. Let me tell you something. If I'm responsible for a car wreck on the freeway that kills

dozens of people and it's the worst traffic accident in the world and I'm responsible for it. I'm not getting on the internet to be like, booyah, I just created the biggest fucking traffic accident of all time. I'm the best person on the road. You didn't do anything here. You didn't create a hit song. You didn't create a quality song. You flopped, you're a clown, you look terrible.

And the quality is not there in any regard. And the fact that you are flexing about at the end of the song with this threat about, and there's more where this came from if you don't apologize to me, which Megan has nothing to apologize to you for, because all she did was state a fact, which is that you are married to a sex offender.

The fact that you have five more diss tracks, like what, locked and loaded? If it's at this level, you can keep your diss tracks. This was the lead diss track. You can keep it. It can stay in the vault. She has something seriously wrong with her. I don't know if it's drugs. I don't know if it's the actual content and quality of her character, but I'm done.

You can stop getting in my DMs about it. You now know how I feel. And I also want to apologize to everyone who felt triggered, offended, or truly hurt by the fact that it felt like I was ignoring or Bowen was ignoring the fact that she has been an apologist and defender of people who have been convicted of sex crimes.

And I want to make very clear, I did not know about her brother. I did not know that she had written a letter of whatever it's called. Basically did what Ashton and Mila did with Masterson, like trying to appeal to a judge so that the sentence would be lightened. You know, that is her family. I didn't know this.

I did not know the ins and outs of what her husband had done. You can believe that or not. I don't really care. What I'm telling you is I apologize for my role in propping up someone harmful.

Because I think what you said is true. I allowed the fact that we have a connection to her. She is a central tenet of how we became friends, whether that is positive or negative. And I deeply, truly enjoy her

her music from back in the day. I think she created some incredible songs. I think she's amazingly talented. It no longer matters to me at all. It is inconsequential to me, just like I feel she is inconsequential in the macro sense at this point. Megan, you have all of our support. Everything I've ever heard about you is that you are a star in front of, behind the camera, in front of, behind the mic, everywhere.

I hear you show up on time, work your ass off, no matter where you are. I've heard the opposite about you, Nikki. And you know what? Not that you're even fucking listening to this, but our listeners are, and I want you to know it's really important to me and I know to you that you all know where we stand, and this is, to put it mildly, flop behavior. Mildly. The sort of manipulative irony here is that Nikki has been...

throughout her career, starting with the little Kim beef on this thing of like, I support other female rappers. And I think she can even, she probably even feels somewhat betrayed by Meg after they collaborated, after Nicki felt like she was

really elevated her in whatever way but it's like there is this pattern of antagonism from Nikki towards a large swath of these new girls like I feel like ice spice is the current sort of like

seat holder of that protege thing. And, like, it's just... To Nikki, this is a completely disposable position. And it's really sad. It only feeds into this narrative that Nikki has created since day one, that she has been misunderstood, mistrusted by other women. It's all very, like... She feels like she's an all-about Eve. I don't know. I'm sure she doesn't think that, but I... It's this really...

weird element to it where I'm like, okay, well, the only girls that are still caping for you are like, what, Bia? Like, I don't know. Like, and Ice. Like, I really, at this point, it's like, I don't know if Doja still really fucks with her. I don't know if, like, it's certainly not Meg. It's certainly not

Fuck it. Cardi. I mean, I didn't like it with Lil' Kim. I didn't like it with Mariah Carey. I didn't like it with Cardi. And I don't like it now. It is always ugly. And there's a common denominator.

And I'm sorry, but who wants this with Nicki Minaj? Megan Thee Stallion didn't need this with Nicki Minaj. It's not like she's, like, her door is being banged on, like, people asking for feuds with her. Megan Thee Stallion doesn't fucking need this. Her, you know, response to the response is perfect. Keep doing your thing. Yeah. I mean, you said it all. I apologize for my...

nostalgic goggles as well for the ways that I have also made it seem like we're ignoring all of these really dark contours of Nikki's other pattern of like not even like ignoring the proven out sex crimes by the men that she's associated with. We're talking about her brother, her husband, Takashi69. It feels like

That is a pretty cavalier sort of like, fuck you to the way that young women are assailed by men. And it's really fucking crazy. It's really fucking crazy that like, there was a literal weapon involved in one of these situations. And she's still out here being like,

You guys are insane. You guys are fools. Ha ha ha, I'm right. It's this, like, there's something extremely distorted and disordered about that. That's it. It's just, you know what it is? It's like very reminiscent of...

Kanye, where it just feels like completely out of control and baseless. And that makes me feel like there might be something really wrong here. And I'm not here to speculate, but it's starting to fall into place where she needs help.

she needs help. Yeah. Like, she needs to stop everything she's doing and understand that these streams do not equate to support and success. Like, I can't even tell you how many of those streams were probably people being like, "What the fuck is this? Let me engage in it so that I am aware of what's happening."

Mark my words, that song will fall off a cliff. It will fall off a cliff. I read the lyrics. The only, I didn't really want to contribute streams to it, but I mean, the funniest thing is Baby Love, famed queen in Brooklyn, who is, of course, a Factasia fame. We love, we support. Everyone check out Hobbit Fest, the next installment of Factasia. But Baby Love is having fun with this on. No, it's not.

Barbie and my feet so dainty. My toes are white and I'm ankley. This is the quality of Nikki's recent. It's embarrassing. Roman's revenge. Red foot, blue foot, two foot. If my name was Megan, I'd probably have one foot. We're going feet for feet. We're going foot for foot. Yeah, Roman is Megan. It's feet for feet and it's foot for foot. And we're feet for feet and it's foot only got shot on your one bad leg and now you only have one foot.

two feet. I want to laugh. I'm laughing because it is like, I mean, it's the distillation of like how Nikki

how Nikki operates in the current landscape of internet and music and this feud where it is so fucking vile that she keeps going after Meg this way. And the kicker is that the verses are like that. That's it. That's it. I'm really interested to see who turns up at the shows.

You know what I mean? Be honest. Honesty zone. Sure. I was never planning on buying tickets for that fucking tour. No. First of all, for what? Like, for what songs? Like, for what? Like, five old songs that maybe she would have done, maybe not? Like, I can listen to Anaconda, like, if I want to on Spotify. And also, it's not like she's some incredible live performer.

I'm sorry, but she's a joke. It's done. There is maybe a tone here of us being like, oh, we never liked her anyway. No, that's not what it is. That's not what it is. And I bring up the fact that we were never going to buy tickets to the tour anyway, just as a sort of signal internally between ourselves, between you and I, within ourselves that was just like,

I think the enthusiasm has been dead for a long time. I would be so embarrassed to go to that show. Like, I wouldn't post from it. You know what I'm saying? And the reason we bring it up is because it was floated amongst our friend group to go. And then we were like, oh, maybe. Yeah. And then, like, there was literally no impetus to move forward and actually go because ultimately, like...

we don't like her anymore. And I get it, like, I think we were excited about the Pink Friday 2 of it all, because it literally called back to Pink Friday, and to be honest with you, I have been rooting for her to turn a page. I have been rooting for her to leave this man. I have been rooting for her to, like, leave her old ways behind, to return to, like, what she was and what she meant. And, you know, the person that I thought was there...

who maybe wasn't ever. And sometimes people reveal that, and sometimes it takes people a little bit longer to say, you know what? I'm actually out. Take this for what it is. This is what it is for me. I really don't feel the need to talk about it anymore. Like, she's a toxic person, and it's a toxic situation. And what we can say is Megan Thee Stallion

You're obviously the future. You are the present and the future. Forget about anyone coming up. Like, there's room for everybody. But, like, Megan is Megan Thee Stallion. She is that girl. And you don't even need to look any further than what she produces and what she creates, which is what matters. And ultimately, one person is flying high and seems unbothered. And one person seems completely bothered, exclusively bothered. Yeah.

It is the frequency at which she operates always now. Like, I'm sorry, this might sound a little frivolous. I couldn't make it through her 73 questions. I didn't even watch it. Because there's just this vacancy, but also, oxymoronically, this, like, really strained darkness of,

that you can just see and feel. She's better than everything. It's not even that. It's that she is like, something broke. Something broke, and I think it happened since she was...

I think something happened to her. Something changed. Something rearranged. There's something wrong for sure. And yeah, we're obviously not medical professionals. But I'm watching the 73 questions being like, there is something really wrong.

weird here and I'm not going to finish. She was horrible on Watch What Happens Live too. Terrible. Like literally wouldn't swing the bat at any of the dumb fucking questions that got asked on that show. And also it's like the way that she just operates on her own schedule in terms of like this is a live television show. I just, I don't know. I'm totally out. I think her last moment of like, oh, Nikki, yay for me was

coming into the Potomac reunion. That was the last time I was like somewhat excited to see her. But even that, like when she was on Watch What Happens Live, and again, like we're almost done, but like when she was being asked questions by him about Potomac,

She wasn't even on the right side of that. She like made a face and like winced at Candace's name. I'm like, that's not it. That's not where that's not where that's not where the good right side of history is people. It's been long established that it's like, oh, you got to side with Candace on this one.

I mean, I don't think Candace is 100%. No, no, no. But I don't think her argument against Robin Dixon and Juan Dixon makes 100% sense. But I think she's also realizing that and calming down. And I think she genuinely is going to come to the reunion with like,

because I have kept up with it actually. I think she is going to come to the reunion wanting to make amends. Whether or not other people on that cast want to do that, I think will be their death certificate on that show. I think that there needs to be a change and I think everyone knows there needs to be a change and I think how people come to the reunion and how people come to play in terms of the show going forward will dictate a lot about who's there next year. But anyway...

Gag city in ruins. Population one. I think it's still unfortunately populated, but it's with people like... Some of the stans on TikTok are so disappointed. The barbs are like... The barbs are dejected. Oh, it's not a good vibe. And I feel for them. I really do. But it's been the surface, not even beneath the surface for years. Yeah.

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And if you follow me on social media at Matt Rogers, though, where you listen to the podcast, Las Culturistas, which comes out Wednesdays. And people forget this, but it won the iHeartRadio Podcast of the Year Award. This is the ninth season of the show. But this podcast broke all the news that Epic Universe has all these lands. Come with me here. I'm with me. Come with me on a journey, girl. Through Epic Universe, which has four lands. Well, five. Celestial Park.

which will include the dueling racing launched coaster Starfall Racers. Was that attached to a franchise? No, honey. I love it. This is original IP. Yes! And let me pitch something right now. Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang in Starfall Racers the movie. Hold my hand right now.

You play one Starfall racer and I play the other. Mind you, I don't know what this is, but I know there's two. And I know that I'm pointing to you and I, there's two.

We need a theme park IP. We need it. Oh, don't you worry. We will work so hard. Do you understand? Like, Bowen and I, we just want to be in a pre-show. Oh, and we would be so good. I would work for free. I would work for free, and I would work for infinite hours. And can I say something? We would be amazing. We are so talented. We are so talented. Like, we...

We are both so good. Come on, bitch. We would be so good. We're so gifted. We're gifted. We're so gifted. I'm sorry. I'm not. It's the year of ambition and verve. This is the year of ambition and verve. That's why you put, what's that song? Single Soon. That's why you're spinning Single Soon is because you feel invincible. I'm single now. Oh. And can I tell you something? It's a rule of culture. Number 49. Single Soon. I'm single now.

And I'm acting like it out in the streets. I'm at Barry's five times a week. And are you picking up trade at Barry's? I'm not picking up trade at Barry's because, can I tell you something? I'm very much deeply in the Katie population when I am at Barry's. What does that mean? I feel as though it's 80% Katie's, 20% gay guys. I'm in a sayer named Kyle. Kyle. And can I say, the Kyles, I see you. And I know you're out there part of the fandom.

There are Kyles that listen to this podcast. There are Kyles. I had a Kyle come up to me New Year's Day at Rekt. And this Kyle was the Kyle of all Kyles. And you know who Kyle is. He was like alpha Kyle. He was like the six foot six guy, like whatever, all muscle. I was like, okay. Kyle squared. He was Kyle squared and he was very sweet. And then all he wanted to do was talk to me about Anatomy of a Fall. I was like, you're a Kyle. Go off, Kyle. He was like

Have you seen any awards movies yet? I was like, yeah, like a few. Like he was very, that is a Kyle. Talking about Anatomy of a Fall at Rekt is you coded. Well, I'm saying that if you see a tall muscle gay, don't write them off immediately as a circuit queen. They might like Justine Triet. They might love the work of Justine Triet and Sandra Hueller. They might just be sweet guys who like film.

Some of these people are like wearing the sheep's clothing of, for some reason, the sheep are muscle circuit guys. Yeah. But they're wolves and the wolves are, I'm following the filmexperience.net prediction index. Yeah. Can I tell you something? Yes. I found this out. Me and Sandra Hewler have the same agent. What? Shout out Houston Costa. Houston Costa. Of UTA. Who, not for nothing, Kyle.

Oh, that's lovely. Thank you, Houston. Shout out. Shout out. I mean, handsome, effective agent also represents Greta Lee. That is quite the roster. Matt Rogers. Hi, I'm Houston. I represent Matt Rogers. And this is just a shout out to Houston. I'm ready to audition whenever. Girl.

Houston, get to work. No, he works constantly. I know, I'm kidding. He works constantly. He's one of the hardest workers. I'm proud of him. Got a good team. We almost have the same team. But we have some divergences. We have slight, I would not even say overlap. We have tangential points. The circles are touching but not fully...

occupying the same area. This is a peek behind the curtain. We have the same manager. We have several of the same agents. And it ends there. That's really it. And not, several is even generous. I would say a couple. Yeah. And that's sort of our team. That's a peek behind the curtain. Get to know the family.

Houston... Well, the legend is our manager, Olivia. Olivia Gerke. She's been part of our life for many years. She is an important force. You know what's funny? Yes? The year that we're going to culturally excavate, that was, I think, the year we both started working with Olivia. That's not my year, but... I was 27. That was your year. Were you 2018? I was 2018. I was the next year. Should we get into the years, or do you have more to talk about? Well, I just wanted to say about Epic Universe. Oh, yes, of course. Okay, so there's four...

I just wanted to say about Epic Universe. The story of my life. There's never been a sentence

Celestial Park. Celestial Park is basically, so you got to go online and really check out what this is going to look like because it's going to be stunning. Can we pause and talk about the word celestial? Go on. I'm just going to say, I don't mean to interrupt your feed. No, this is important that you do this. Celestial is one of the most beautiful evocative words in the English language. I think they knew that when they picked it for the gardens. Celestial, the first time I heard celestial was in Digimon.

Wow. André Womann has an attack called, I think, Celestial Arrows or something. And I thought... And something, I felt the frisson, even as a young child. The frisson. I said, what is that? Oh, my God. What was that? Okay, James, I said, Celestial...

The name Celeste is very important in my life. Oh. The legend? Celestium. Of time. Of time. Oh. The title of ep? Celestial. Celestial, colon, the legend of time. That's the title of ep. Talk about Celestial Park and the other parks. There is a carousel called Constellation Carousel, which is themed to the constellations. It will not move in a circle. It will move in a figure eight circle.

And what do you ride? You ride constellations, darling. I don't know what that even looks like, but go off. Stay tuned.

and it will be many restaurants and themed attractions within Celestial Gardens because Epic Universe is supposed to conjure up the universe. What more evocative thing than the stars? Than space. Can I say it all goes back to space? It truly does. You know that we also often set things that we do in space.

You'll remember the third act of Night Soap. Oh my God. I have an idea this week for something. You have to go to space. You have to bring Ayo to space. I want to bring Ayo to space. Oh, she belongs there. Can we say Ayo is hosting Saturday Night Live? That is the first friend of ours that is going to go host Saturday Night Live. I'm going to go. And when I heard the musical guest was J-Lo, I said Ayo and J-Lo. That's very powerful. I said Ayo and J-Lo. Yes, sir.

So, the Celestial Gardens will be, the center of it will be the Grand Helios Hotel. Ah, the sun. Correct. You know exactly where this is going. So, it's the elements. It is water. It is wind. It is the sun. And don't forget Earth, Mama. I didn't.

I didn't. Okay. It seems like you did. You have to walk on the earth to get through the park. Well, you said three things. Well, just don't. I feel like we've been on the same page, girl. Girl! Don't let me lose you, Violent. I'm getting you back in the book. Violent girl. Violent girl. This morning I said to Owen, Hey, Violent. Violent. Violent!

You have to see pictures of this hotel. It's going to line the back of the park. It's like the monument. Yeah. The four lands. For the children, we have How to Train Your Dragon, the Isle of Berk. They're shooting a live action How to Train Your Dragon. You're kidding me. Well, it can't come at a better time. My good sister Bronwyn James in Wicked is now currently in Scotland shooting the How to Train Your Dragon live action. You're fucking kidding me. She's having a blast. She's learning archery.

She's going to be in Wicked and How to Train Your Dragon. She is the universal IP. The universal IP empress. She's a northern, she's Leeds legend. Look out for Bronwyn James, y'all. Is that announced that she's going to be in live action How to Train? Yes, it has been. Okay, good, good, good. So that's one length, and it will have several attractions.

one including a roller coaster. That'll be okay for kids. Yes. There'll be a live show called Untrainable, which is from another overseas Universal park. It's escaping me right now, but it will be stunning. I love it. There'll be a great hall restaurant if you've seen the How to Train Your Dragon films, among other things. Bunch of flat rides. Let's move over and listen. Talk about problematic, but this is just is what it is.

Gag City. There will be Gag City. Can you fucking imagine? Can you imagine going, like, they spend millions and billions of dollars on Gag City Universal and then this happens? No. There's a Harry Potter...

It will... The Ministry of Magic. Ministry of Magic. So this... What I'm hearing is it's called Harry Potter and the Battle of the Ministry of Magic, and the main villain is Dolores Umbridge, which is kind of cunt. If Imelda... She booked. But Imelda getting a... Imelda doesn't give a shit about pre-ride experiences. We don't know that yet. I think she does. I think Imelda...

I'm whatever about Imelda. Can I tell you something? You never forget Glenn Close in the Guardians of the Galaxy Cosmic Rewind pre-show. I think Glenn Close understands the cultural value and importance of a pre-show. She plays Imani Rayal. Imani. What was better than that? You know that when she put the wig on, she said, I'm Imani. I'm dialed. She's been doing work to make sure she's serving Imani. And we love Glenn.

The eyeline was fucked. She was reading the prompter. She was reading the prompter left to right and to and fro, but that's okay. She's one of our great actors. She's one of our greats. She couldn't be off book because none of the words make any sense in the pre-show, so it would be hard for her to be off book. This is the thing. Matt and I will be off book. Don't even question whether or not we get... Okay, am I about to drag someone? There's a certain pre-show in Disney. I know who you're not going to drag. No. Okay.

There's a certain pre-show in Disney where every single time I'm there, I say, this should be Bowen. You know what I'm talking about. Are you talking about the guy in Avatar? Yes. Flight of Passage?

That's very nice of you. I think that should be you. That's so nice. That's the kindest thing. Like, I'm sorry, but why isn't that Bowen Yang? You can find it online, I'm sure. Like, every second of it should be Bowen Yang, and it's not. Every second of it is someone else. But, okay. Okay, so there is... I'm getting to the most exciting one last for me.

which will surprise some. Then there's Super Nintendo World, which if you've been to Universal Studios Hollywood, you know the Mario Kart ride, eh, for me, eh. But it's also going to have a Yoshi Omnimover and a Donkey Kong Country with a Donkey Kong coaster called Mine Cart Madness, where the car will jump the tracks. I think this is the fourth time you've mentioned it on this podcast. Great. Moving on. Then there's the Dark Universe.

Yes. Which is the Universal Monsters, and the main ride takes place in Frankenstein's Castle and stars Victoria Frankenstein. But is this of the Diablo Cody movie? No, that's Lisa Frankenstein. That's Lisa Frankenstein. Starring Catherine Newton. I can't keep up with this damn family. I said, who's going to play Victoria? Naomi Watts? No. I hope not. I think...

Not because, no, not because I don't love Ney. Because I want better things for Ney. I'm excited for feud Capote and the Swans. You need to make up your mind. Better things for Ney. We're saying this is the pinnacle of show business. You know what? You're right. Naomi, I hope that you booked. I hope that you booked. Just like I'm excited that you booked Coyote versus the Swans. Can I tell you, I love Truman Capote.

Truman Capote, In Cold Blood, one of my favorite books. Breakfast at Tiffany's. He was the original mess. He was the original mess. It's actually Riddle Culture number 100. Truman Capote was the original mess. And these swans, Diane Lane, Demi. Molly. Molly Reynolds. Calista. Calista. Calista playing Lee Radzeville. Carol Found Born. Carol.

That's my mother-in-law, she said. That's my mother-in-law. Carol, another woman whose brain has been rotted by fame. Anyway. Do we think that? Sure. Yeah, probably. All the housewives, on some level. There's at least a dime-sized, marble-sized hole in every housewife's brain. Can I say? There's certainly some in mine. I wouldn't change a thing about any of them. Speaking of housewives, you're not going to believe this.

I was personally invited, as were you. You can't make it. But I will be going to the Legends show on Friday, Countess Luann. I will be there at 54 below. I am so excited. I'm going to have my party cabaret shoes on. I am so excited for Lu. I'll be single soon. I hope she does a cover. Oh, my God. Can you imagine Countess Lu doing single soon? It would be so jazzy.

I can't even. I'm so excited. You will get a full, not a full review. You'll get a short review on the podcast next week because we actually have a guest. We will not reveal who the guest is. You're going to love it.

I can't wait for you to go to... What is this, Friday? This is Friday. So excited. And tonight, if you're listening to this album on Wednesday, I'm hosting Ariana Maddox's Book It show event at Town Hall tonight, Wednesday. Are you seeing her in Chicago while you're here? I would love to. I'm like jam-packed. I'm going to see if I can potentially get something for Saturday day. Yeah. But I really want to because if I don't go this week, then I'm not going to be able to go...

At all, I think, because I have to be in L.A. for good reasons. Yes, yes, yes. We're going to see. I'm going to try. I'm seeing Sarah Paulson in Appropriate with Ms. L. Love that. And I'm also seeing Cola's Cola Show. Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary. I actually have a fun night on Saturday. You have a great night. So I'm going to go see Cola's show, and then I'm going to go to your show. I love that. And I really want to see—oh, hold on, let's pause.

Let's pause. While we pause, I'm just gonna sing. I'm single soon. I'll be single soon. I know he'll be a mess. Um. Wait, no. Okay. No, no, no. Keep singing. I'll be single soon. I'll be single soon. Okay. I added that. I. Oh, my favorite part was coming up. State who I wanna. State if I wanna. Do what I wanna do. I'm picking out these. Tying on these shoes. Cause I.

single suit. It's such a Bob girl. You ate that. Selena, come on the pod. Selena, we would love to have you. We would tickle you with compliments. Now, not our fingers. I understand that that's controversial. Not everyone likes that. Some great shows that I want to see as well. Seven Year Disappear, Starling,

Taylor Trench, former guest, Cynthia Nixon. Oh, man. And written by Jordan Seavey. And also, I need to go and see The Connector, Scott Bakula, and Ben Levi Ross. Oh, my gosh. Wow, that's exciting. Very exciting. Scott Bakula, what a little hunk. Oh, totally. Remember Looking? Remember Looking? It was just, I guess, the 10th anniversary of Looking. Yes, and I'm actually...

I never watched past the third episode of the first season, and I'm giving it a full rewatch now. Oh, it's really good. It got really good. It got really good. I just like, I'm like, this is, at the time, and it still kind of is, like revolutionary. Yeah, I think that people were very hard on that show because, breaking news, like, the gays all hate each other. But not you, Kyle.

Kyle, we love you. Kyle, you did great. You were really good with looking. You're talking about Kyle in general. I'm talking about... The Kyle. It's not surprising that looking didn't have a groundswell of support because... I'm not going to get into it. But it didn't get the appreciation it deserved. It was actually great. And that end of the first season was really good. And then my dearest Michael Sue Rosen is in the movie. He gets fucked by Jonathan Groff.

And then they have a sweet scene. Anyway, happy birthday, Michael. Oh, I love him. He's a sweetheart. I love him so much. We love you, Michael Sue Rosen. Michael Sue.

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Should we do the cultural excavation? Let's do the cultural excavation and let's just put out there, you all were assuming experience 2017 with the rest of us. Yeah. This is my thesis going in, not to sour the whole thing, not to cast a pall from the start.

I'm looking at, like, Best Picture, Highest Grossing Film, like, the albums of the year. Like, with the exception of one really, I think, seminal album, like, most of the culture of this year, even, I'm going to say, the celebrity deaths. There were a lot this year. Remember that? I was going to say there weren't that many. Oh, there weren't? Why do I seem to remember 27? Oh, yeah. So who died? Yeah.

Oh, Hugh Hefner. Mary Tyler Moore. That was a big loss. Bill Paxton. I mean, Bill Paxton was an icon to me for his performance in Twister. Of course, in Twister. And talk about great pre-show acting. Amazing pre-show acting in the Twister pre-show. Oh, Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton in that Twister pre-show ate that up. And they could not film it together because they what?

- Didn't get along. - Yeah. Okay, but let's just go through. I'm gonna get ahead of myself and maybe you can be the person who decides. I just think as we go down this list, after that fucking banger of a year, 2009 that we just went through, this is... It's definitely... We're seesawing here. We're seesawing. So 2009 was a year of so much promise and potential. And 2009 was the year so many things broke open. And it felt like it was a lift.

2017, that was a downer. You know what I mean? Like this was obviously, let's just get it out. Trump inaugurated starting things off with dreadful vibes. Trump inaugurated Muslim travel ban, Women's March, which is its own little bummer and its own little meta-narrative. Well, it was an amazing moment, but the fact that it had to happen. The fact that it had to happen and then the fact that it sort of was deflated,

with all this internal drama in the years since. But, you know, what a moment. And then, also, we'll get into this later, but like,

the year that Me Too sort of broke open. Yeah, let's get into that a little bit. Okay, but let's start with film. Let's start with film. This is just the tone that we're setting because this was the year. Well, I'm literally looking at like the top grossing film. And the top grossing film was Star Wars Episode VII, The Last Jedi. Eight. Oh shit, really? Uh-huh. Oh, I didn't see that third one. Yes, Episode VIII. I'm sorry. I literally identify as a Star Wars fan and I knew that. I did know that, you guys. Okay.

Star Wars Episode VIII, The Last Jedi. Remember how negative people were about this? Such a controversial... I think it still holds a lot of mixed feeling within the Star Wars fandom. I like this movie a lot. It's like... Rian Johnson knows what he's doing. I just feel like the disrespect and the... It was weird because it was like... With the Star Wars reboot, right? It's like...

First of all, it exists to service the fans, yes. But also, within that, you do want it to be, like, its own engaging, bold, risky movie, right? And they did so much in that movie that was bold and risky and fun and entertaining and, like, you know, the reveal, spoiler alert, that Rey was no one. She didn't have, like, lineage that, like, tied her to anything. Yeah.

I thought was kind of a chic choice. I love that choice. And then, like, when episode 9 comes out a few years later, like, they reveal actually she was Palpatine's granddaughter or whatever the fuck, which I also appreciated for its own drag. Like, I remember Rise of Skywalker is essentially a drag film. They're all drag films. It's a space opera. The whole thing is a space opera. For kids. For children. And so people seem to forget that, and they act like they've been, like...

gunned down by like these movies when they're not exactly what they want them to be or they don't. It's weird. Like, did you want a retreat of Empire Strikes Back or did you want something that tried to have the impact and influence of Empire Strikes Back? For me, one of the greatest movies of all time in its own right. And I feel like that's what Rian Johnson went for and people were

not responding well because I think that they, if they were to be truly honest, wanted something that was more repetition than they're actually comfortable admitting. With a franchise like Star Wars, I think you can never win because Force Awakens was too paint by numbers. A new hope. A new hope.

Rise of Skywalker, which I don't hate, by the way. No, I think it's really fun. It's so fun. Like fucking Rey and Kylo Ren's moment in Nine is actually, I love it. When they kissed. It's so fun. I screamed out loud. It's amazing. I was so happy, by the way.

This didn't come out this year, but Rise of Skywalker, Matt Whitaker and I saw it in 4DX. Love. The same day we saw Cats. And the seats moved and shit. The seats were flying around and Matt, we God love him, doesn't do well with that. And when I tell you 4DX, something that gets lost is that they spray you with water.

So aggressively. By the way, this came out like weeks before the pandemic. So we're in chairs that are like flying around getting sprayed with water. And Rise of Skywalker came out and the pandemic like was being born like somewhere else in the world. And it made me laugh. I just said this was so funny because to think that we were just in an atmosphere where forget about being careful. Where the droplets were out. Like we were being sprayed by moldy water. Oh, God.

But anyway, that's enough for another day. Very, very honey. I shrunk the audience. Very that. Yeah. Very that Bowen. Well done. Thank you. Incredible. Theme park history. Theme park performances by Rick Moranis. Yeah. Rick Moranis.

Thank you. Amazing. That was my favorite ride for a second. I was like, we have to go to Epcot so we can do Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. I remember being too scared to go on it because I was... What? You're sitting down the whole time. I know, honey, but this is what happened. Listen, Violet.

What happened was I chose violence on myself by being that little kid that was so excited and obsessed with theme parks that I would research them to the point where I knew everything about them going in. And there was a snake. The snake is a gag. It's so reputation. I know. It's so reputation. I wish I had been who I was.

them today then because I would have been so excited for the snake but I was so scared about the snake jumping out that I didn't want to go and my dad got so pissed off I remember and my grandmother was like stop like go on the ride I'll stay with him and I remember we watched the jumping fountains

it was you and your grandma and my grandmother god rest and we sat and watched the jumping fountains and that's one of my greatest memories of her is that she sat with me when i was too scared to go on the honey is the shrunk the kids and we watched the jumping fountains and that's right i love my grandmother the figment statue was not far away not far well if taylor swift knows what's good for her when reputation tv comes out she should

release it along with Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. By the way, first of all, I've never agreed with anything you said ever more than this. And we'll get back to reputation in a bit. Oh, because guess what? Don't forget the year. The synergy. The synergy.

Okay, so Star Wars Episode VIII, anything else to say? I mean, Laura Dern in a purple wig. Oh, pew-pew. Pew-pew. Pew-pew, of course. She did pew-pew when she shot the gun. Kamikaze-ing into a Star Destroyer. Absolutely. That's iconic. I mean— Oh, it wasn't a Star Destroyer. No, she was in the Star Destroyer. Yeah. And then she Kamikaze-ed through it, like, the fucking— Yeah. The evil shit. I mean, she saved the day. Let's just be real. I thought that was so well done.

She was great in that. I think she was better in that than she was in Marriage and Joy. I'm kidding. Just the sound dropping out when that happened. Like fucking Leia fucking floating through space. Oh yeah, that was cunty. Eight is... I don't know where the fandom is at. I don't really engage too much in it. But I hope we've all caught up to the risks and the boldness that that movie was...

pulling off as a Disney franchise, as a Star Wars franchise. That takes a vision and a direction from... I just love Rian Johnson. Me too. So much. Yeah. Huge fan. Huge fan. I just think... I hope we... How do we all feel? Let us know. I think you can't trust...

I don't know. The fandom, like, it's almost hard to be, like, an intense fan of something and react in an honest way right away. Because you're either going to be overly enthusiastic or overly defensive or, like, overly dismissive. You know what I mean? Where it's just like, it's ruined or it's incredible or it's just like it's going to be something out of 10. Whereas, like,

It's art. Sometimes it takes a second. You might not have the right take right away. You know what I mean? And I think actually as we move into the Oscar section of this...

It's interesting because I think two of the movies that came out this year are going to stand the test of time. Yes, yes. Maybe several of these. And neither of them are the movie that won Best Picture. Right. I just also want to say, also, Gag, when Luke goes out into the field at the end and they all fucking shoot at him. Mm-hmm. I just really love this movie. It was a good movie. I mean, it's really fun and it gives you the grandeur and the space operaness that

And it also gives you tension and it also gives you something different, which I think is important and a good thing. I think it's a good thing, too. Especially coming out of, like, the campiness of, like, the prequel trilogy. It's like, this is a different kind of camp that is also very well paired with, like, the gravitas and the tragedy and the violence and all this stuff. Like, I think it's...

I don't know. I really loved Last Jedi. I see me. I see too. This is also the ninth highest grossing film of all time. Okay, let's get into the Oscar winners. So this was the Year of the Shape of Water. 13 nominations. Is she going to fuck that fish? Is she going to fuck that fish? Answer, yes. George Severus joke. Yeah. Is she going to fuck that fish? She's going to fuck that fish. You fucked that fish, didn't you? You fucked that fish. And Olivia, Olivia. Octavia. Octavia Spencer played that arc of, are you going to fuck that fish?

Are you going to fuck that fish? She's going to fuck that fish. You fucked that fish. So well, she received her second Oscar nomination. Or her third. Second, second. She's got three. The help, then there was...

Jesus Christ. We're flopping. Oh, Hidden Figures. Hidden Figures. I forget which came first, but that's not our job yet. I think it was The Help, Shape of Water, and then Hidden Figures. That, sure. I think that's the order. Let's say we think that. Okay. We can't verify. But I have to say what's important to say is that I don't care about this movie, Shape of Water. I

And I don't think it's one that's going to be looked back on as an important film. However, I do understand it winning the Best Picture Oscar because of the way that kind of goes sometimes where it feels like

Not the safe thing, because there's nothing safe about this movie. Like, it's essentially, like, a Creature of the Black Lagoon, like, update that I think is, like, you know, risky and bold. I just... When I look at the other movies that came out this year, like... Dunkirk. There's so much here that, like, I feel is important. Like, for me, Get Out and Lady Bird are, like... They're important. Yes. You know what I mean? And even, let's just say Call Me By Your Name. Absolutely Call Me By Your Name. Let's even say...

I fucking love I, Tonya. I mean, don't, you don't have to tell me twice and you, I don't have to tell you twice about how much I love I, Tonya. I think I, Tonya is an important film in terms of rocketing Margot,

Not that she wasn't a star before. Like, she had star-making performances that, like, put her in the A-list. But I think this was, like... A solidifier. This solidified it for a lot of people. Yeah, yeah. So... I loved her in this. So good. I loved her in this. And I just... I really... I liked the movie a lot. Also, I think it was my first real exposure... Real knowledgeable exposure... To Sebastian. To Sebastian Stan, who's my favorite. Yes. And was so...

The way he made Galooly hot. I was like, do I want to fuck Galooly right now? You want to fuck Galooly? I think I do. I think I want to fuck Galooly.

And that was something revolutionary. To want to fuck Jeff. To want to fuck Jeff Galooly? Jeff, right? Yeah, Jeff Galooly. Jeff Galooly. The Shape of Water winning, I think, was kind of a given, right? Because the other real competitor was Dunkirk, but that has 10 less nominations than Shape of Water. I couldn't give a fuck about Dunkirk. Like, for me, it's like... Yeah, Shape of Water is like a Best Picture winner, sure. For me, it's like... I remember...

there were two films that year. They were Get Out and Lady Bird that felt to me like... Important. Important, not only because they introduced Greta Gerwig and Jordan Peele in this way as really important singular filmmakers going forward, but also I felt Get Out was so inventive. I felt it was so...

smart and great and I loved like the blend of comedy and horror that he would become synonymous with and as everyone knows I don't do horror well but I can watch this again and again and again it actually is one of my favorite movies did you see Us? I could not handle Us because Us was brutal but I've seen Nope and I've seen Get Out but Us to me like pushed it to the next level but you know what is true about Us? I listened to the soundtrack

So funny. The I Got Five On It remix, I listen to it all the time. It's that and Single Soon. I kind of rotate between that, depending on the vibe. But Love Get Out, Daniel Kaluuya, Exploded Into The Mainstream, Alison Williams' Resurgence, Bradley Wifford and Catherine Keemer.

Keener. Why did I say Keemer? But yeah, just like a really, really important, incredible film. And then Lady Bird is...

You know, it's just, first of all, Saoirse and Laurie Metcalf, that dynamic's so amazing. And you'll never forget Laurie Metcalf's performance at the end when she drops her off at the airport and like can't be bothered to go in with her. And then she starts sobbing and circles the block and runs in and it's too late. Just like so great. Also, I love Lucas Hedges in this. Lucas, the knee beanie, all great. I'll never forget the moment when Lucas begs Saoirse not to tell anyone that he's gay.

And the way he just broke down, it was one of those moments that I just like literally involuntarily like started to emotionally jumped out of my skin. And I'm like, Greta's just she's just phenomenal. Yeah, she's just phenomenal. Other important movies I put down Wonder Woman, Mother, The Post, Coco. Coco. Coco. Love Coco. Let's move on to music.

I think I'm ready for it. Bow, bow, bow. We didn't know what we were being given. Well, actually, you know what? Should we be Honesty Zone? Let's be Honesty Zone. I'm ready to be Honesty Zone. And also, can I say, like, this relates to my I Don't Think So Honey a little bit later, because we already talked about this little lady, but...

When Look What You Made Me Do came out, I did not get it at all. I didn't understand. And also, this was a period that was tough for Swifties. And I remember we were not necessarily diehards at this point. I think we were a little oversaturated with her post-1989 imperial phase. The choices she were making in public, I were a little questionable. And we were just a little bit like, certainly not better than the big conversation, the network conversation about her. And we...

fell off a bit. Look What You Made Me Do came out and I was like, what is going on here? And then the album came out and I feel like once I heard the album, I was like, oh. Can we be honest, T-Zone? Yeah. Once Gorgeous came out, I was in the closet. I felt like I was in the closet again.

Because I thought, walk through this. No one can know that I love this song. Really? I loved Gorgeous. I still do. I'm a Gorgeous stan. But Gorgeous came out as a promotional single before the album came out. Ah. So it was, look what you made me do. I think it was Ready For It and then Gorgeous. Yeah. And Ready For It, I was kind of like. It was a banger from the jump. That was a closeted moment for me too because everyone's like, this fucking sucks. She's trying to do hip hop. Oh, please. And I went.

But wait, she pulled off this thing that, of course, on its face is going to be laughable because it's like Taylor Swift wrote a hip-hop song. But I remember at the time being like, this is kind of great. And then Gorgeous came out. So good. And I was like, okay, she's just having fun being like flirty little girl again, which we haven't seen since, which wasn't even on 1989. I was like, maybe we haven't seen since, I'm going to say...

speak now or like rad where she was just like coquettish and it was like I like this I like this Taylor

And so then when the album came out, I remember someone, a journalist, friend of ours was like, oh my God, the Taylor album just leaked. It's so bad. Want me to send it to you? And I was like, at that point, A, I already had it. And B was like, it's not bad. Well, first of all, I'm on record. I think it's her best album. It's my favorite album of hers. I also think it's her most romantic album because it's all about...

the beginnings of Joe and the- Clinging onto a person while the rest of the world- While the rest of the world says, "They're done with you." Yeah. The depression that she was in, we now know, was so real and she genuinely thought it was over, over. She found someone who made her feel like a version of herself again, and that all went into the music. Fight me, Delicate is the best Taylor Swift song of all time. Wow. Delicate, not only is it the best track five,

And I'm not even being hyperbolic. Like, Delicate in the concert is a moment for everyone to enjoy life. To enjoy life. Just enjoy life. And the entire Reputation segment of the Arrows Tour. You can tell she fucking loves it. Oh my God. When she stomps out there at the top, I said, let's go back in time to the year 2017. Let's go back and let's relive militant life.

but secretly wounded and romantic Taylor. This, Taylor on the offense, but also privately, like, vulnerable. Uh-huh. Come on! I'm gonna say that Reputation is the piece of mainstream culture that has maybe aged the best from this year. I would agree with you. We're gonna look at TV, we've looked at movies, there are other incredible albums we're gonna talk about that were also in 2017, but I think Reputation...

Thank God for it because otherwise it would have been full rot. Do you know what I just realized? What? Reputation is so Last Jedi coded.

Oh my god, the impact of that statement. I don't understand. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. But for you to connect those dots, my sister... This is a cultural excavation. You are a comp-lit slay. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I had been 17 in 2017 so I could write an AP comp essay on this. I would body it. Mrs. Marr would say, I know that's right.

Let me press play. Let me press play. Let me give this paper a hundred. I will say my weird Swifty wrinkle is that Endgame is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs. Endgame?

Okay, it's not up there for me, but I respect, love, worship, and enjoy the opinion. And I need to say this. Hugely underrated music video. Yeah, really good. Joseph Kahn, she's in Miami, Tokyo, London. She's all international. And she is, this is one of the rare Taylor Swift videos where she is what? Having fun.

having a good time. I think she's having fun a lot. But it's like, this is pure like her being like, okay, look what would you make me do? Not really necessarily having fun, right? Delicate, she's kind of like in the rain. I think she's having so much fun in Delicate. She's having fun in Delicate, but there's a melancholy to it. Endgame is pure like,

Good vibes. I'm on a yacht in Miami. I'm riding a fucking motorcycle with future I am getting drunk getting fucking What a drunk people get in the UK like knackered. No, that means tired what knackered means tired? Um Like smashed they're getting smashed in the but like she's like having a great house party me in London She is eating

ramen in a little noodle shop in Tokyo. She's playing Dance Dance Revolution with these Japanese girls she just met. I said, this is what I want out of a Taylor Swift song sometimes. I'm so happy to see you so happy. I love Endgame because it makes me feel like I'm having fun. Yeah. Can I also say, in the re-release of Reputation, a lot of people talk about what song needs to have a moment.

Getaway car. Getaway car. Getaway car. King of my heart and getaway car. Okay, so listen. I'm going to get personal here. No, no. Are you about to... King of my heart meant something to me at one point. Now I've put it away. Getaway car is the truth. Because listen to me right now. Nothing good starts in a getaway car. Think about the place where you first met me. When they tell you...

When the red flags are there from the beginning, you are not better than that. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Right away. Don't allow yourself to get in the getaway car. Is this her most Maya Angelou song? Nothing good starts in it. Getaway car is Taylor Swift's most Maya Angelou song. And what rule of culture is that? 12. It's rule of culture number 12. Getaway car is Taylor Swift's most Maya Angelou song.

I lived getaway car. You were Jet Set Bonnie and Clyde. There is no more apt song than Jet Set Bonnie and Clyde. Till you switch to the other side, to the other side. It's no surprise I turned you in. Us traders never win. Well, she's clearly never watched Traders because they sometimes win. Can we sidebar for a second? I am almost through Australian Traders. By far the best version. That is a huge claim. It's the claim I'm making.

are shooting daggers at me, bitch. Violent. Okay, violent. Her violent album reputation. The album was largely snubbed at the Grammys except for a Best Pop Vocal album nomination. So we saw that moment in Miss Americana. Can you even believe this wasn't an Alba of the Year nominee? It's so insane.

Retrospective reviews opine that the initial reception was clouded by the negative press and described the album as a work of experimentation and artistic evolution for Swift. 100%. Some of her best lyrics. The melodies are sick. Yeah. Even in Ready For It, which like, If you slow it down and play it on a piano, it's like really pretty. I love Ready For It. Okay. Yeah.

Record of the Year. So now let's get into the Grammys, because this is where you start to see the desiccated cultural landscape. And this is not a drag on the artists that we're about to mention, but

So what dominated the Grammys, Bruno Mars was nominated for six Grammys, won all six. Yeah. Record of the Year, 24 Karat Magic, Album of the Year, 24 Karat Magic, Song of the Year, That's What I Like. Yeah. Which, these are not bad works. I actually happen to love that album. I love Bruno Mars. Seen him live. Excellent live performer. Yeah. Like, fantastic live performer. I do think when you start to look at Best New Artist, a historically flop category that never gets it right, or that rarely gets it right. Mm-hmm.

We love this person. Yeah. But this was, she was nominated against, against SZA. Alessia Cara won. I mean, I think looking back, that should have been SZA's award. I have a feeling that'll be rectified at this year's Grammys. I actually think she's winning Album of the Year. I have a hunch. And that would be, SOS would be a very good win for that. But can I say about 24 Karat Magic, and That's What I Like by Bruno Mars?

I feel like, are we going to be thinking about this song in years to come? No, but we're not bat mitzvah party motivators. Right. And so I think if you're a bat mitzvah party motivator, this is a really important song, 24 Karat Magic. But has... Step, touch, clap, clap. This gets the moms up. It gets the little girls up. But do the little girls care for Bruno Mars now? I think they do.

Like these Gen Alpha girls that are at the bat mitzvahs? You have to remember the power of a wedding. Can I tell you what's not going anywhere in the monoculture? Weddings. But I'm saying the life cycle for a song that ends up being in the canon of wedding music, wedding songs on the dance floor, it's a long cycle. Like Shout was not that girl until like the 90s. I have a feeling we'll still hear 24 Karat Magic.

I'm sure we will, but I'm saying it's receding right now in the year 2024. It's going to make a roaring comeback at weddings, at funerals. If you play 24 Karat Magic at my funeral, which is next week, by the way. No. I will kill you from the grave. Girl. If you play 24 Karat Magic at my funeral, which is next week, I will kill you from the grave. Remember I said that. I remember. It's on record. Now, I think 2028, 2028.

29 is when this song is, we kind of crown it. Hundo. Okay, other awards, other top-selling albums. Melodrama by Lorde. I think Melodrama, Dan by Kendrick Lamar, Reputation are the three. Oh, I'm sorry, Control. Absolutely. These four albums that are in the vault of the year, but also...

The year overall for music was also a little, huh. Like, in a good year for music, we can say like 10 albums that are hugely impactful. But Melodrama, what an album. Yeah. Maybe the best sophomore album of a pop girl in the last... Teenage dream is found. Absolutely. Teen years. Drowned and left in the water. I think... Breakaway...

is hurting right now. - I said 15 years. - You did? - So I think Teenage Dream makes the cutoff, but I would say Melodrama and Teenage Dream are on similar echelons. - Think about how I have to listen better. - Think about how I have to listen a little better. - A little better. - Sometime. - Damn by Kendrick Lamar. This was three albums in a row.

of like wow of like good kid mad city to pimp a butterfly and dan like this is like we need kendrick back in a big way say it don't spray it i'm not spraying and control obviously i mean this was the album that i think really broke her through i think this is the album that made me say not cultures for me but i said she is our generation's joni mitchell

That's kind of... You've been saying that. This deeply confessional, like, outpouring from the fucking heart in a way that's different from Taylor, in a way that's like, this is raw. Yeah. And this is like, what is on the page. Why are you laughing? I'm laughing because of when you told her that and she goes to you, oh, so you like me. I was like, yeah. Oh, so you like me. Oh, so you like me. Yeah.

And then I said that, and she was like, that's so nice. And she was like, I really don't know how people feel about my music. I was like, really? She goes, I don't leave the house.

Oh, wow. But I think that was before the album came out. And now since then, since SOS, I mean, since SOS, I think she's out here celebrating. I mean, all she had to do was look out at that crowd we were in in Madison Square Garden and feel the love. And then she came back out. That was so cute. I love her. I love her, too. I love her. Okay, and then After Laughter, hugely underrated Paramore album. Rainbow by Kesha. Mm-hmm. Praying. Praying. And that note... That note will be remembered. Will be remembered. Maybe not reproduced.

I don't think ever reproduced. But we love Cash. But it was certainly produced. It was certainly produced. Lust for Life, Lana Del Rey. Oh. This was an interesting one. Okay, so these were number one hits. Despacito. 16 weeks at number one. That's insane. Shape of You. Can I tell you something? I fucks with Shape of You. I'm in love with the shape of you. Depends on the mood. I'm always in the mood. Okay. It's not single soon, but you know. Rockstar by Post Malone. Bodak Yellow by...

But let's talk about my car to be that was huge. I go to dinner and steak. Only the real can relate. I'm sorry, but I'm leaving the podcast. I go to dinner and steak. Only the real can relate. If you're eating a steak dinner, you're real. You ate your, if you go to dinner and steak, you're the real one. Only the real can relate. If you go to dinner and steak, you're eating dinner.

Do you know what I mean? This is, I mean, a star-making thing in a way that we will look back on even more fondness. Well, I do love Be Careful. Careful with me. I do love Be Careful, but Bodak Yellow...

is up there for me. I mean, this is a legendary, this is like a signature forever track. And she says to this day, she's like, she was asked, what's your favorite song to perform? And she's like, the way people act during Bodak Yellow makes me so happy. The way people act when it's played at a space, people are at a frenzy. Yeah. I mean, I lose control. Oh.

What else? Look What You Made Me Do. Three Weeks at Number One. Perfect by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce. Starboy by The Weeknd. Humble by Kendrick Lamar. And That's What I Like by Bruno Mars. An interesting year.

Moving into television. Emmy for Outstanding Drama, The Handmaid's Tale. First streaming show to win, Outstanding Drama. I watched a lot of the first season of Handmaid's Tale. It was one of the most devastating periods of, I think, my life, sitting for any minute of that show. But Elizabeth Moss, talented girl. Talented girl. Talented girl. Emmy for Outstanding Comedy, Veep, third consecutive year. Absolutely. Emmy for Outstanding Limited Series, Big Little Lies. We all remember where we were.

That finale of Big Little Lies, you came over to my apartment with Dave. Oh my god. We watched it. We were, to say we were entertained, satiated, moved, floored, renewed. Oh. When those women came together to push Alexander Skarsgård down the steps. When Zoe pushed. Absolutely. Give her the credit. Give her the credit. She really put her foot down and said, I'm putting my weight behind me. And my weight is in the pussy.

Honestly, Nicole, one of her best performances. Robin Weigert, one of her best performances. Robin Weigert, Laura Dee. To do Last Jedi and Big Little Lies, she destroyed this year. That was the Durnessance.

It was definitely the beginning of the Dernissance. The beginning of the Dernissance that culminated in the Oscar. I also think this was huge for Reese. Oh, yeah. Like, this made Reese like, Reese, Reese, Reese. Like, she always was, but like, I love this Reese Witherspoon performance because I think there's something so true about it. Yes. Like, I think there's something so, I love when she plays a little vicious. Yes. It's election. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

And this is why you need to shut up when you say that she shouldn't have been in Gone Girl. I'm not over you guys doing this to me. We need to stop talking about Gone Girl. Nothing good starts in a Gone Girl conversation. Period. That's a Taylor lyric. These girls are still mad that I fucking hate Rosamund. Big Little Lies, you know, I...

You don't hate Rosamund. I don't hate her. I'm just like, she doesn't, I don't care. And we all have the right to not care about someone, okay? Emmy for Outstanding TV Movie. Interesting that this was, I didn't realize it was positioned this way, but the San Junipero episode of Black Mirror won Best TV Movie. Yeah. They singled out an episode of a season of Black Mirror. Well, yeah, because I think that that's how they categorized that. As opposed to limited series? Yeah, because I think that the Black Mirror things are...

Oh, I see. I see. I think that's why it has the title San Junipero is because it's an isolated... It's like a Black Mirror production. I see. I see. I see. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Who the fuck knows? This was, I think, also the year that...

streamers finally took home trophies at the Emmys. Yeah. Like, it started with, like, your House of Cards, your Orange is the New Blacks, but this was the first year, 2017, where now it feels, like, so normal, but it's like, this was the first year where Hollywood was like,

Like, oh, okay, I guess the Hulus and the Netflixes and these other things are... And it was back then, it was just maybe... It was mainly those two, but it was like first year Hollywood was like, I guess we can like pump all this money and resources into the streaming shows. We care about awards, which of course they do. These can take home the gold. Oh, Girls aired a series finale. Yeah.

Okay, so I couldn't find too many big premieres. Big Mouth Glow, Feud Betty and Joan. That's, I guess, relevant because there's finally a new season of Feud coming. I'm so excited. And The Good Fight began. Girls aired its series finale. What a moment. What a moment. I mean, I think the penultimate episode of Girls is one of my favorite episodes of Girls. And then the series finale of Girls. I love the finale. I didn't like it.

I loved the final shot. Sure. Of the latch. Yeah. That's actually really funny when you think about it as a... The final shot in the first shot? Yeah. I'm a growing girl. I'm a growing girl where she's eating. Wow. And the final shot is the baby. I know. I guess like it was... You know what? I appreciate the swing. I was just like, I never want anyone moving to the suburbs. That's...

There is like... I know, there's something so real about it. There's something unsettling about seeing Hannah and Marnie together in a house like all the way up here.

all the way outside the city. There's something that should be disorienting. The fact that Marnie never changes. I love. I truly love. Marnie is one of our great TV characters. We've said it a million times. Marnie is such a true character from your 20s. Yes. That's all I'll say about that. Like, Marnie is so that girl and she'll always be that girl. And we all know a Marnie. Yeah. And also, the fact that they're like

not friends at the end of their twenties is sad, but also very true. You know what I mean? And it feels like the only the real can relate. Yeah. Lena, you ate steak. You went to dinner and steak. You went to dinner and steak. We talked about the deaths. Okay. Politics. Trump is inaugurated. He begins his first term with a travel ban. Horrible. This was the year of like, of course, like first term, you know, his staff turnovers really wide.

wild this was the year that like scaramucci happened i wrote down remember that whole thing honestly there's been so much turnover with the scandals of trump that i barely even remember like these words are like buzzwords to me like scaramucci is like a buzzword to me but i'm like

who is just so triggering and like yeah like I can't believe Russian investigation North Korea US pulling out of the Paris climate agreement define the rest of the year politically me too happens enters its full swing by the next year and the awards yeah this was when I remember being on Twitter at this time and

Well, it's interesting because I went through something in 2009 that I didn't realize actually happened to me until 2017. Because I remember, I think this was the case with a lot of people, like seeing those stories shared, like triggered something in me that like actually like awoke a memory.

And so it's interesting, again, that we picked this year out because it's like 2009 was when it happened and 2017, because I had literally blacked it out, and 2017 is when it came back. And what triggered the memory was someone was saying an account of being trapped in a location.

With someone that they trusted. And that was like, where have I heard that before? And then I realized that was my experience without getting into it too much. But I do also want to say, because I think because this is something from this year, I think this is really important to say.

Last night I landed back in New York and I was thinking about this episode because I was reading the document that you made and I saw this part of it. And I literally even thought about like... I thought for a second about like expanding on what I talked about for the 2009 year. And I realized how scared I was to even talk about it. At the time? Now. Now. Because I am so...

I'm unsure that the person who was responsible for that would not, like, come after me in some way. Because they have. Like... I remember. Yeah. I shared this on another podcast, and it got back to the person. I didn't name the person. I didn't, like, go on about it. But... Right. So why would they ever fucking feel like a victim in this situation? Well, they attacked me repeatedly over the phone, online. Yeah.

And also, I just want to say, like, if you have respect for me and, like, you're not going to, like, try to find it and unearth it, like this podcast or whatever, like, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? It's like, just, like, let's leave it. Leave it alone. But what I think is really important is the fact that, like, years later, 15 years later, I'm still...

unsure about and scared to even go there. Because you're thinking about that. Because I'm thinking about retribution from someone who literally doesn't really matter. And so I want people to really think about that in context of how difficult it is for some of these people, for anyone to come forward, to expand on something like this, especially when there are still power dynamics at play. Because I'm talking about something where there is no power dynamic at play. I'm talking about something where

I don't even wish this person ill. I don't think they're a bad person. I think we were in a situation where boundaries were violated. And I think you're still protecting them. But because I'm afraid. Yeah, because I don't want to deal with it. But what I want to say is that

I think it's really important to acknowledge my fear in even getting into it and say that that fear is so real for everyone. And it endures. And it doesn't go away.

And it takes a really long time to figure out how you feel about it, to even really confirm that it even happened. Because a big part of that realization and that trigger was me going back and forth with myself. That can't have happened. That can't have happened. I have to be making it up. I have to be exaggerating it. I have to be wrong. I'm not wrong. I'm not exaggerating. It did happen. And it affected me for a really long time. Mm-hmm.

And there is still an element of fear and discomfort and insecurity that comes with getting into it because I still fear, like, retaliation. And I also fear, honestly, hurting that person. And I just want to put that out there as a thing that is a byproduct of this whole very important movement is that that insecurity and that, like,

And hesitancy to put yourself out there and get behind something like this, even if you were really, really, really changed and really hurt, still remains the same. So that's, I guess, the way I want to, that's my pull when it comes to like this topic coming up on the podcast. Yeah. I mean, that was a very exposed moment in so many ways, but in terms of the nervous system of the collective nervous system was so raw. Yeah.

And Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got engaged that year. So that was amazing. Oh, God. I mean, Charlottesville, Colin Kaepernick.

who started kneeling in 2016, but then by 2017, it was more, quote-unquote, widely engaged with by other NFL players. It wasn't that many. And it was, I mean, remember all that? Like, this was a pretty hopeless year. This was not a... I remember the year ending, and it was one of those years where it was like, 2018, it's going to be better. Oh, God. Like, it has to be. Oh, God. This was a dark year. This was not a good year. But, you know, on the positives...

This was the year we did our first full year of Lost Cult. Yes. I know 2016 was the first year, but it feels like 2017 was kind of the first year because this is the, when the podcast really got in full swing. We did our first, I don't think so, Honey Live, which I think is when we realized we had something going. Uh-huh. March 21st, 2017. Mm-hmm. And that was like about the year anniversary of the podcast itself. Yeah. Yes. A nice little marker there. We closed out the year with Cult War. Ha ha ha!

Which was an I don't think so any competition where Bowen and I both had teams. Yes. I was the team of fire, you were the team of ice. Annie Donnelly came in and look. I will never...

I had left my body when Annie Donnelly was walked down the aisle in this high drag look. It was amazing. She and Michelle Collins had tension between them. The culture was won by Pat Regan. Pat Regan won the culture. Was this the birth of These Young Girls? Or no, that was on the podcast. These Young Girls was at I Don't Think So Honey live. I did the first one or the second one. I Don't Think So Honey, These Young Girls! Yes!

I was on a date with someone and he like pulled out his nose like, I booked. Oh my God, these young girls. These young girls. I forget what he did to win, but Pat Regan was the winner of Kulchwar. Pat Regan was the winner of Kulchwar. And he's the winner of our hearts. Was it? Oh no, Rachel Pegram won. Oh my, wait, no. Rachel Pegram won Gauntlet Dugag in San Francisco. I believe Pat Regan won Kulchwar. We're not rewriting history here. No, Pat Regan did win Kulchwar. Yes, he did. Rachel Pegram, fantastic comedian. She won Gauntlet Dugag in San Francisco Clusterfest. Exactly.

Yes. Oh my God. Wow. Remember the era of competitive live? I don't think so, honey. This has taught me a valuable lesson that I still haven't forgotten to this day. Like competition frameworks,

really upset people they're really emotional people get truly hurt for good reason if they lose something even though you think that the tone of it is frivolous and fun and like it's we're not taking it too seriously no if there's any element of competitiveness it is devastating if you are not i'll never forget some of the faces of the people that lost like yeah

It was not a great feeling. It did not feel good. It did not feel good. I don't want to recreate that. Never again. You're never again doing something competitive. Ever. Ever. Except for Dueling Star Shower. Starfall Racers. Starfall Racers. But that will be a scripted feature film. Yes. I'm going to pitch it. I have a movie idea. But not for Starfall Racers.

Well, don't say it on mic. They'll steal it. I know, I know. I have a new idea. Our producer Becca just nodded. Like, to herself, she was like, yeah, I shouldn't say it. Okay. Okay, so that is 2017. So, yeah. Excavated. Excavated. Am I? Did I? You did amazing. No, but I'm saying, did I fuck this from the get-go in terms of, like,

The attitude of the year. This was a rough year. No, this was a rancid year. This was not a good year. But there were cultural high points that we remember fondly. But I think the only high point I remember fondly, besides like... Even the art was dark. Last Jedi and reputation. Right. But I'm like, Lady Bird, love. Phantom Thread, love. Love, love, love. Reputation was the redeeming... Reputation was the thing that saved us. Me, at least. So there's that.

Don't blame me, your love will make me crazy If it doesn't, you ain't doing it right

It's time. Oh, by the way. Okay. So I did not travel with the goblet of cultural years because it's too heavy. It's a real goblet. There's a nasty rumor out there that it's an ice bucket. It's actually a centuries old thousand pound goblet that has been in my apartment for centuries. And it had the years written into it. It actually already had them. For centuries. And so before I left, I did pick a year out of the bowl and I haven't told my sister what it is. I am ready to reveal at this time.

That not next week, but the week after. Because we have a guest next week. The year we will cultural excavate is... Oh my God, oh my God. 1993! 1993! Jurassic Park? Yes. Ah! Isla Nublar! We're going to Isla Nublar. Wow. That is coming up. That is a good year.

It's a really good year. And not too much personal experience to draw from because we were but toddlers. Well, I have some things we could expand on. Some of my first memories. To be continued. Absolutely. 1993. 100%. Yeah. I remember where we were. Kind of.

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Okay, so it's time for I Don't Think So Honey. This is our segment where we take one minute to rail against something in culture. Do you have something, Matt? Oh, yeah. Okay, this is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey as time starts. I Don't Think So Honey, people who criticize Taylor Swift for the carbon emissions of her private jet. I want you to really think this through. So what? Do you want her to fly commercial? Do you want Taylor Swift to show up at the airport on the day where you're traveling?

Don't think so, honey, that you do, because that would be a safety issue for her and for all of you. We have not created a society that is responsible enough or safe enough for her to what? Fly commercial? You think that she can sit in Delta One, have everyone pass her and it be a safe atmosphere?

She has to fly private, y'all, so that she can help the economy in such a way. 15 seconds. And before you get into it about, ah, they're a second fan. She never did anything wrong. Shut the fuck up. Think about, think one step ahead of your argument. Yes, it's funny to point to the sky and see a plane and say, ooh, Taylor Swift. Make your jokes, but don't actually drag her for flying private because you don't want her flying commercial, honey. That's one minute. The thing about carbon emissions from private planes is that

Overall, the footprint, while not negligible, is also like not big enough for people to get too riled up about. Well, that's not what happens. What do you mean? Because they do get riled up about it. No, of course. I'm saying like there are climate scientists who have come out and been like,

It's not the thing to be mad about. It's bad. It's not great, but it's not the thing that like, it's not a thing to necessarily crucify. Not that we're doing that. Not that anyone's doing that, but it's like there are huger fish to fry. What would happen if she showed up to Delta? What would happen? If you were at Hudson News buying a pack of gum,

And thousands of people fucking descended on the magazine rack because Taylor wanted to pick up a copy of Us Weekly. Which she's want to do.

you would hate your fucking life. You would say, get on the PJ. Go to Turturbo. I don't want this. And even if she were to like buy out a plane, it would be a problem. You know what I mean? Like there is literally no winning in the situation. I get it. Like when a celebrity is in a certain place, like, and they're really high, high, high, high, it's the instinct to want to tear them down and find something. This can't really be the thing because she has to travel.

And she has to do it in a way that's going to be sustainable and safe for not just her, but everyone.

And you see the fervor and the fandom around her to the point where, like, she cannot live a normal life. So how is she supposed to travel in a normal fashion? It just doesn't make any sense. And the reason I say this is because there's all this hullabaloo about, is she going to travel back from Tokyo to go to the Super Bowl? Which, yeah, she is. She's not going to miss the Super Bowl. I really don't think. She's Travis's good luck charm. And someone was like, well, that jet's going to be jetting. And I'm like...

Yeah, it is because she can't get on a plane like you and I. There's no direct flight from Tokyo to Vegas. Okay? Can you imagine Taylor Swift in a commercial layover? I mean, yeah. Tokyo to LAX to Vegas? Taylor Swift on the LAX to Vegas? You are making me laugh.

You are making me laugh thinking about Taylor Swift on the LAX to Vegas. I mean, it's funny. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I just think it's so silly. It's just like, wow, we're so excited to get a tweet out there. We're so excited to post a story that we don't even really realize how dumb we sound. Like if she were to show up at the airport, it would be pandemoniosa. For me, it just comes down to like,

I'm going to defer to the experts, and the experts are saying it's not the thing. Yes, there's a footprint, but it's not the giant thing

fucking Bigfoot album cover started to bring it up again. It's not like that level. Yeah. You know? I just think it's just funny the way that people work themselves up and like get so excited to have something to say. And meanwhile, it's like, yeah, but if you use a critical thinking, if you use critical thinking for even two seconds, you can get to this next conclusion. What do you want? Not Matt invoking critical thinking.

I'm telling you, I should really be an HP comp again. Mrs. Marr would be like... I just think... He went to dinner and steak. He went to dinner and steak. I'm not calling my sister out, because you never do this. You rarely do this. But... Giant red flag when someone...

oh because anna marie does this calls them identify so strongly as a critical thinker in an argument oh yeah like don't say that you don't have to say that well she's literally not it's just embarrassing she's she's full flop i just actually talked to a medical professional the other day like an actual doctor and i was like are you up on the anna marie stuff on beverly hills and she was like oh yeah

it's so humiliating it's like because the thing with and like anesthesiologists and crna is like that there is real tension there sure she's so attached to this identity and she's weaponizing it against someone's like actual actual medical condition actual medical condition and she's like truly gaslighting crystal and in a lot of instances and being fucking menacing i'm just like

Girl, lay off. You're not coming back. Well, by the way, we have a very close friend who literally has what Sutton has. And it is a real thing. And it is not diet related. It is not lifestyle related. It is a thing that is, I mean, it's just ridiculous. And Nicole Martin summed it up in the best way where it's like, to stoop to that level as a medical professional is so fucking crazy. Well, by the way,

What I hated about Beverly Hills this last episode was Crystal's going for Anna Marie and going for Anna Marie and going for Anna Marie and then, like, nearly dies on a mountain and now she's at her mercy. And it's like, Crystal cannot catch a fucking break.

She cannot catch a fucking break because at the end of the day, like, even if she is right about this whole thing, she went and almost died on the mountain. And then now she's, like, at her mercy, like, holding her hand in the car. Like, and Anna Maria gets to look like the hero in this situation. There's a kind of... Poetry to it. Well, the valor is not stolen, but it is, like, misused.

Misbegotten. That's all. It's just funny. Okay. Are you ready? I do. So, I'm so thrilled because this...

Is Bowen Yang's? I don't think so, honey. And let me tell you something. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Let's leave Martin Short and Meryl Streep alone and let them enjoy their lives. Let's not probe too much about what it is, what the nature of it is. I think these are two people who, if they are romantically linked, deserve each other. They are two of our great American treasures, and I think we should just let them be. They have both suffered loss, and they have both gone through deep,

deep, romantic tumult, and I think they deserve each other. 30 seconds. And let's leave them alone. There's a lot of rumors flying. I think we should just let them, if they're fucking, let them fuck. If they're being friends, let them be friends. We're kind of trying to excavate something a little too aggressively, and I think that's okay. We can't blame ourselves for that, but we also have to leave them alone. These are really, really...

beautiful people. We love their work so much. We have an emotional, parasocial connection to them, but we have to leave it alone. We have to let them be them. And that's one minute. You really left them alone there. I know I'm being ironically... You slayed when you left them alone just there. This is the only thing I'll say. I know I'm not leaving them alone by bringing this up, but I'm saying let's let them be. They're so obviously together too. It's so funny because it's like, no, we just are very good friends. And it's like, yeah, that's what you say.

But that's fine. Let's leave it at that. I love it. I think that is confirmation enough. Love it. Love it for them, whatever it is. Very good friends. Fuck buddies. What if they had released a statement that were like, we are not together, but we are fuck buddies. I would say... On Tuesday nights, we watch Vanderpump and we fuck. I would be so happy. Here's the truth. And this is a joint statement. Meryl Streep and Martin Short have been friends for years.

During the production of Only Murders Season 3, they decided to become fuck buddies and Vanderpump Rules co-viewers. Co-viewers. Meryl has a huge television, as you can imagine. She's an empty nester. The kids are grown. Married. And on the Gilded Age. So, Marty...

comes over and they have sex in two to three positions for 15 to 20 minutes. They are FWBs and some of the Bs are Vanderpump. They do this before Vanderpump. So they fuck, order Goop Kitchen, and they watch Vanderpump Rules. Post-Nut Clarity, they're watching Vanderpump Rules and having the right takes because they are what?

Empty mind shit. They're on their empty mind shit. They both get the teriyaki bowl. Yum. And are excited about Lala Kent's journey this season. Every season. Team Ariana, of course. They're going to see her in Chicago. They're going to see her in Chicago. And guess what? They never liked Sandoval. They were always on the right side. They were always on the right side. They always called her Rachel. They always dead-named her. Was this one of the best episodes? This was one of the best episodes. Becca is...

Literally wave it. She just went like this. Becca just went like this. Yes! She did it, but she did something else. She's really excited about the quality of this episode. As am I. If you think we weren't being real on this episode, you must be fooling. You're a traitor. You're a traitor. You're a fucking traitor. No, you're a fucking traitor. You're the biggest fucking traitor here. No, you're a traitor, bitch. Sandra. Sandra.

Sandra versus Janelle at that table. Can we play this very important cameo that you dug up? Oh my God! From years ago. Okay, so I wanted to congratulate Bowen on getting cast on Saturday Night Live years ago. And at the time, Sandra Diaz-Twine was on Cameo Baby. And this is going to be played in lieu of the song this week. Yes. We end every episode with a song, but not this week. Okay.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And Bowen, thank you for having faith in me, cheering me on, rooting for me every single time that I've played, especially during winters at war. You know, it wasn't easy to go out there after Island of the Idols. You know, I had spent 36 days already in Fiji. And then my 24-foot totem was still out there for all the winners to see. They were not amused.

My target was already big. You know, like I had the biggest target on my back being that I was the only two-time winner. And then the totem did not help. It is what it is. But Bowen, Matt, thank you guys for being there for Survivor week after week, season after season, year after year.

Bo and I especially want to congratulate you on being a cast member of Saturday Night Live and of course for completing your first season. And I'm sure your legacy on Saturday Night Live will be like mine on Survivor. I never expected 17 years later to still be a part of the show. And that's what I wish for you, that you will be there season after season and year after year.

so that we can all watch you at work. And you guys take care of yourselves, okay? Queen's face queen. Adios. Bye. Bye.

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