"Elite Mara" (w/ Matt, Bowen & Friends)
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- Bo, listen, vacation, it's something you gotta get right. - I have never agreed with you more. And I've had so many wonderful trips with you in the past. I remember one of our fantastic Airbnb trips upstate. We got this four bedroom Airbnb, little cabin,

We had like a whole acre to waltz around in. It was so much fun and a gorgeous kitchen, remember? I do remember. That ended up being an iconic trip. But why is Airbnb better than a hotel? First of all, more space. Second, more bathrooms because sharing a bathroom, I know it's not our favorite thing to do. Also, more common area spaces to hang out together. Airbnbs can have things like a private movie room or game room. Doing an Airbnb may also get you access to a better location. Airbnb, it's just for you and me. Fee!

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Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. And I guess the very first thing we want to do is... Cheers, sister. Cheers, sister. Crack open a Heineken with us. We thought our Amsterdam era was over. And we want to say happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Jared Frieder. He's here. House is in the background as well. Our friend Charlton is upstairs doing God knows what. Doing God knows what. Let me take a sip of this. Jared, is there anything you want to say to inspire everyone? Maybe someone else that has a birthday today. To all you readers out there with a birthday today, happy birthday. And I hope you have a really good one. Oh,

Oh, I love that. It's a beautiful message to send. He's really become a fan favorite. He really has. I think his commentary on Camila Cabello and the rise of Brat was really, really scholarly. And it's third host vibes to me. I have to say, I always revered him for his commentary on Camila Cabello first and foremost. Anyway, I thought...

sweet fun great commentary and discourse on Camila Cabello I would say the same about you yes Jared and the last thing that I'll say is don't you readers think that they should have Charlie back on as a retrospective to talk about how the brat era actually turned out isn't that something we all want to hear busy I think well yeah she's busy

Okay, we have a whole peanut gallery today. And guess what? This actually is a very special episode of Lost Couch. Why? Because we're on vacation and it needs to be a little shorter. And also because we're doing the Olympics of I Don't Think So Honey. Yes! Yes! There will be five I Don't Think So Honeys. Everyone has one. They're going to happen a little bit later. But for now, just get ready. We're going to hear five different I Don't Think So Honeys. Only one will win. Oh!

Wow, isn't it funny? Like, Fantastic Five. What do they call them? The Elite Five? I don't know. I couldn't tell you. Right? Well, today was Women's Team. Which we watched, and we're going to get into. Which we watched, but I think it was primarily the three girls. Yeah. Even though there was, like... Fox Force Five. Fox Force Five. But what is that? That's Rinna. Kyle. Oh, my God. That's right. That's right. Fox Force Five. Oh, my God. Supergroups.

We were talking about super groups like Iconic Fives. Of course, there's the Spice Girls, Fox Force Five. I'm telling you, they do call it the Fabulous Five. What do they call the gymnasts that are the five? Let's look it up. This is a famous thing. Charlton, you would know. Women's gymnastics. That thing when you know but you don't. The Fabulous Five. Oh, I'm not connected to Wi-Fi. No, what the hell? Fierce Five? Fierce Five?

it's gym 20 females gymnastics that was 12 years ago sweetie five gymnastics five this is bad you guys why don't i yeah okay so there's there are only so many f words you know what i mean and the best one is already it's so true especially real culture number eight there are only so many words and the best one is already already

Well, let's say they're the fuck five. Let's say they're the fuck five. And the fuck five just absolutely tore it up, especially on the floor. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about... Who do you want to talk about? Sunni? You want to talk about... Sunni was incredible. Sunni was incredible. I think Sunni really... Because you know our girl Jordan? Yeah, Jordan Childs. Jordan Childs was fab. Did have a bit of a moment during the beam where she fell and there's a thing where, you know, if one person falls and that tends to...

Make it so that other people on the team fall as well. It creates what we call bad energy. Bad energy. Suni really turned it around and she had a perfect, such a graceful beam. Yeah, graceful beam. Beam portion. Graceful beam. By far the scariest event to watch. I can't believe we make- Or are you more scared and nervous watching the vault or the beam? I'm more, it's all pretty scary. But I think the scariest to me is uneven bars. Yeah.

You feel the most fear watching them do that. It's the lower one is so low. Yeah, you're right. And they got to really like fucking tuck in. You know who has a critical eye is that Lori Hernandez. Yes. Because she was, remember when Sunni did her bars and her feet grazed the floor and Lori was like, her feet touched the ground. This will be a deduction. Lori's eye. Her eye. Her eye. Wait, it's actually real culture number 12. Lori. Her eye.

She was giving kind of the really good, the most chemistry, right, girls? Lori? I think there might be an I don't think so, honey, Lori. Lori. Lori, you know what? Just to preempt this, like, Lori, don't come for Lori because Lori, what Lori was doing was she was so endearingly, like, squealing while these, like, men around her were like, what's going on? Yeah, they were all like, well, now we're going to see another gymnast. Meanwhile, Lori's like, ah!

Yeah, she was giving, by the way, you watched the opening ceremony? Oh my God. Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson commentary. The woman that you are. Just every now and then like, oh my God, that's so cool. Wow, I love that. I love there's so many different kinds of music. I love this. This is so cool. You see a person who's a cheerleader on your commentary. Yes. Yes. Well, I'm sorry, but sometimes all of the types and the personas converge into one or two people such as Matt Rogers and myself. And yet we weren't invited.

I know. Like we have the expertise and the spirit and the enthusiasm. There was no moment during that opening ceremony where I thought, yeah, the people doing this are way better than us at this. No way. If you listen to Two Guys, Five Rings, you know that no one knows sports better. No one enjoys talking about the events and the specificity of the athleticism more than us.

I am really getting into the Olympics this year. Well, that's probably good. And maybe I should heed that. Girl,

And this is not a spot. This is not sponsored. We were not paid to say this. Peacock is really fucking nailing it. Multi. They are multi-view on Peacock. You get to watch four screens and you get to like one's on a commercial break. You go to the other one. It's such great viewing experience. I got my life watching basketball, Greece versus Canada. Oh, slay. All I've done so far is the gymnastics and the opening ceremony. It's fun. It's fun.

women's beach volleyball. Oh yeah. So fucking cunty because they're, they're in a sand pit in front of the Eiffel tower. Yeah. It's like, it's pretty amazing. The visuals have been top stunning. Can we just get into the opening ceremony for a second? And listen, we will talk mostly about this on our other podcasts as well, but this is truly the culture of the moment. I don't think we can ignore what happened, which was that we on our podcast, two guys, five rings, literally predicted Lady Gaga's performance. Did I? Cause I didn't,

I didn't remember doing that. I think it was you. I think you were the one who brought up Gaga and said, I mean, like, because the rumor was about, the Celine rumor was persistent for a couple weeks. But I think the Gaga thing was, I think you introduced it. I think I thought of, like, the silliest thing I could think of and just said it out loud as I'm up and wanting to do. And I guess it wasn't so silly, huh? What was that song she sang? La bouton, fond, fond, fond? No, it wasn't. No, bitch. Shut up, bitch. That's why we,

I thought it would have been kind of thrilling to watch her do it. La Vie en Rose.

French culture is the tops. Chaos and the tops. His pronunciation. What about these? Oh, these Christians better leave us alone. Wait, what's happening with the Christians? The drag. But Nicky Doll looking cunty. Dionysus.

It's Dionysus. Grow up, read the Bacchanali, and let's get serious. And throw a Bacchanal while you're at it. Well, let me tell you. Come here. I'll tell you where we all are. By the way, we forgot to say this uptown, but we are in Provincetown. We're going to see who they are.

Wow, thank you for really, anytime you add a harmony, it actually elevates the piece. It's rule of culture number 30. Anytime you add a harmony, it actually elevates the piece. So thank you, sister, for doing that. That was, of course, a callback to my famous jingle for Provincetown. Of course. Patrick, Charles, any other thoughts on Gaga? Yeah, Gaga thoughts?

Well, it's just always great to see her. She looks fabulous. Yes. And I'm so excited for Follet de Deux. Follet de Deux! I think Follet de Deux has been getting some new trailers. Yes. I'm hearing that it's a supporting performance. She's changed the way she sings. Yes. Right. She's acting. So basically, everyone, the news is, the hot new news from Gaga, and we always love when Gaga hits the press when she's got an acting project coming out, is do not expect...

which is her character Harley Quinn. She's calling her Lee. Call me Lee. Do not expect Lee to have a good voice like Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga has come out and said, I'm known as Lady Gaga, right? And I love her use of the word, right? So everyone knows me as Lady Gaga, right? It's my stage name. It's her Christina Aguilera, ha ha. Yeah, it is, right? Ha ha.

By the way, you know what Kamala does, which I've noticed? Listen. Listen. She goes, listen, comma, la. La. And that is how you say it, Republicans. But anyway, yeah, so Lady Gaga says, don't expect to hear a trained singer because Lee is not that. So how would she know how to breathe correctly? Right. Which is a question I can't answer. I don't know. I don't know about Lee's singing training. Oh, yes. And I'm excited to learn. I want to find out, sir.

I want to find out. Traumaturgically fraught. Yeah. What do you mean in terms of the... Why would Lee know how to sing? It's like, just sing. It's kind of that thing of like, oh, well, Sally Bowles is supposed to be bad. It's like, no, that's how you justify casting someone who can't really sing because they're a star. By the way, I just saw Cabaret last night. Oh, how did it go? Oh my God, it was Marty, aka, as you might know, her Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Yes, yes, yes. He's going up Mondays. Yeah.

I am so excited. In fact, I was DMing with Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Oh my God. And they gave me the dates for that they're doing because I would rather, I mean, this is not straight. I just, I want to see them do it. No, we love Eddie, but Marsha, Marty as MC is wowie zowie. I can't wait to see it. I saw it in the West End with Jake Shears. It was good. Oh, Jake. I mean, these are some of our great queers. These are some of our great gays. Our great gays. Musically talented great gays. And Gail Rankin,

- Wowie zowie. - Is wowie zowie something that's coming, that's sort of rising and burning? - I don't care what y'all have to say. I'm Gail Rankin Stanning, okay? - Been about ya and I'm still about ya. No higher compliment. - Gail Rankin, is there a little Fran Gillespie coded? I was watching her going, there's something Fran Gillespie about this. Fran Gillespie, New York comedy legend. - This is a high praise. - High praise, one of my favorite people. - And if you don't know now, you know. - Now you know.

I'm so happy you saw it and enjoyed it. Did they do this sort of in the West End with the cabaret? What they did was it was like you, it was at the literal Kit Kat Club. And so it was like very, it was like immersive. It was immersive. There's three levels. You go downstairs and they put a sticker refund. It felt very Berg. I was like, it feels like we're in Berlin. Oh, wait. Yeah, that's right. Sort of the whole vibe. The whole vibe. And it was lovely. So great. Bebe Neuwirth. Oh my God. Oh, I forgot that Bebe was Bebe. Bebe was the, was the Schneider?

Yeah, Freulein Schneider. Freulein Schneider. Schneider. So good. Oh my God, being newer. Yeah. Cheers, legend. I think Freulein is actually one of the most interesting roles in the show. It's a great role. And has great songs. It's such a shame it's not in the film because to me that's like the emotional part. Yes, I agree. The film is so different. The film is so different. I remember I saw the film in college and I was like, oh, cool. And then I saw the musical years later. Like, Sudi and I went to see the Alan Cumming, Michelle Williams one. Uh-huh.

And the stage version is just so much more explicit about how dark it is and really about how it is, quite frankly, about the rise of the Nazis. And it has to be said. The Weimar. Oh. The Weimar. But yeah, no, the film isn't as like dark. Let's just say Alan Cumming. Yeah. That performance. Oh, my God. Alex, what's eight times one?

What's what? What's eight times one? Hold on. Eight. Good.

Now, we got off track. Okay, so Gaga, now fully adieu. You know what? There's going to be so much fully adieu to come. Let's give respect to the real moment of the opening ceremonies. You're talking about that Challengers coded moment where those three people kind of were at the library and then went to go fuck in the room? No, I know that's not what you're talking about. I mean, I imagine I was. Why are people more upset about that? Not that there's anything to be upset about, but it's like, okay, well, then you have to like...

Study the whole text and be like, well, there's two guys trying to fuck. Like, it's like, grow up. Oh, Bowen, the royal they. The royal they is going to be upset about something. I want them to scan. Can you just at least scan before you come? Scan before you come. In the words of Kamala, in a time when we didn't like her... Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Well, let's not bring that up. You're right. Oh, my God. Am I derailing everything? Sorry, Kamala. Now we got to talk about the border. By the way, Provincetown is so...

The voters here, it's a slam dunk for Kamala. Provincetown, Massachusetts is breaking hard for Kamala Harris. She was just here. No, trust me when I say this, this town's going blue. It's actually real culture number 98. Trust me when I say this, Provincetown is going blue. I mean. Literally. Oh.

Floor to ceiling watercolor portraits of Kamala in this one. Sure. The like lesbian store we went to. It was, Bowen, we are definitely strolling down the streets to that store and you have to see all this stuff. We bought Jared a Kamala shirt for his birthday. Well, the gays love her. She rushed to the courthouse to marry these folks in California. She's been there. Her campaign manager was happy

Yeah, I think one of her first campaign managers was Harvey Milks. And that man actually passed away of AIDS. Yeah. And she's from San Francisco. I mean, or worked in San Francisco. She's connected. She's gay. She's gay. Her laugh is gay. Can I say, stop teasing Kamala because of the laugh. I like when someone laughs. The laugh is iconic. The laugh is iconic. Oh my God, the laugh is so...

Fun. Anyway, I was going to bring up Celine Dion. Of course you were. Let's talk about Celine. How did you feel? What was going through your mind? Well, I was on a plane back from LA. So I was, my leg has never been more restless. I was like, I need to see. And this is, this is not getting live TV on the plane. Another. I don't think so. Honey Delta. First of all, still waiting on my three 60 membership. My invite. I shouldn't be so entitled.

Well, do you feel entitled because you have the miles to... No. Well, because the miles are 5 million, which is crazy. You automatically get an invitation if you hit 5 million miles. Oh, that's crazy. I wonder why I was invited. Because you slay. 360. When you're in the mirror, do you look at you see? Now...

Delta did not. This is one thing that I'll give JetBlue. They've got live TV. And for a moment like this, for Celine Dion's return to singing, I would have loved that. But alas, alack. But first thing I did when I got off the plane, when I de-planed, was pull up that video. And my God. Watching that. Watching that, I...

I've never been more emotional. The last time I was this emotional was her videos announcing that she had SPS. I mean, honestly, it was one of those things where I think in our group chat, Louis Fertel was like, it felt like the Lou Gehrig, I'm the luckiest man.

in the face of the earth moment. Like, but like with that element of performance that obviously that moment couldn't have just on the Eiffel tower, just truly stunning. Especially when you look at those photos that they're digging up now of her, like being photographed as a young girl in front of the Eiffel tower, her dream, having always been to sing there, you know, her saying recently in that documentary that her life's,

is singing. It is her purpose. And when she said, I will sing again. And just to see her, I was streaming it live. I woke up at like 10 in the morning. It was a long opening ceremony. She was long. I was going to say, I don't know about this. I'm not sure about the canal situation. I like a stadium. Sue me. Sue me. I like a stadium. They're probably getting cold. Yes! Yes!

Yeah, that was it was not ideal. Like also the French, the locals fucking hated it because they couldn't get to the other side. I have so many concerns about how they're going to logistic. I don't know how it is logistically feasible to have the Olympics in twenty twenty eight in Los Angeles, California.

Y'all better fucking scurry. Oh, there's no way I'm around because it's like a Tuesday at one and it's not tenable on the 101 sometimes. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? How the hell are we going to invite the world here? How? Don't know. It doesn't make any sense. But yeah, so apparently Francis pissed off. But again, back to Celine, just watching her.

Not even just get through it, which I was worried about her getting through it. Sure, sure. I was also nervous that they had announced it prior because I'm like, think about the stress that must be put on that. I mean, performing anywhere in public for her right now would be difficult, let alone the most public performance probably in the world. In her career, probably. Maybe. Maybe.

But not only that, she was amazing. Sounded like Celine. Sounded like Celine. Gestured like Celine. Oh, yeah. I just felt so familiar. Did you watch the documentary? Well, you told me. You were the first person to tell me. How rough it was. How rough and sad it was. And I was like, I can't handle it. One of the hardest experiences. I'm not getting anywhere near that. Because, you know, Celine, like in the culture, that's like.

mom, like sweet. Yeah. Yes. No one wants to watch her go. Yeah. International. Growing up in Quebec. It's like, she is God. Like I, that's why like her watching the video of her announcing SPS. I was just like, I, I'm not, I'm not a crier. I burst into tears. I was like, no, no, I can't handle this. Yeah. I can't run. I'll walk. I'll walk. I'll crawl. I need. Yeah.

And also, you know, just like how strong she's had to be, like with the, you know, loss of her husband, et cetera, just, you know, like,

the amount of pressure that it takes to be that kind of person for as long as she's been that kind of person. Like she's a full blown international icon and industry, maybe one of the last ones where it's like actually possible to be that famous and that respected and that beloved in that way. Like just, so that was fucking triumphant. Triumphant is putting it mildly in the words of Mandy Moore, Mandy Moore, a fake Mandy Moore.

Yeah, of, yeah. Of the Mandy Moore imposter. Of the perfect blue Mandy Moore. Just like when there was that break in the music and she was like swelling with pride and like hope and like, I don't know if it was joy or whatever she was experiencing was so... That's what the Olympics are all about. Say that. It is the human spirit coming to a groundswell. Yeah. A gathering in one place, the best of the world...

Everyone celebrating each other's ability. I'm sorry. I love the Olympics. I always have. You are amazing. You are amazing. You are so amazing. You are incredible. The way that you speak is so beautiful. You are amazing. Queen, I learned from the best and they're right here in front of me. I'm inspired by y'all every day.

I like a fresh wardrobe reset around this time of year. We're like middle of the season, but I've got my eye on what's ahead. And so I got to give my wardrobe a little refresh and it doesn't get better than going

to quince i would agree it's been a busy season of events and travel and my wardrobe has taken a beating a total overhaul isn't in my budget but i am replacing some of these worn out pieces with affordable high quality essentials from quince quince has all the seasonal must-haves like cashmere sweaters from 50 100 european linen shirts and versatile activewear the best part all

I love that. Me too. I have my Quince sweaters, my Quince t-shirts, and of course I also have my Quince t-shirts.

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Bo, listen, vacation, it's something you got to get right. You can't roll the dice. You have to make sure that it's all together. Everything is where it's supposed to be when you get where you're going on vacation. Can you agree? I have never agreed with you more. And I've had

so many wonderful trips with you in the past. Bowen, I remember one of our favorite trips to Toronto when we shared that Airbnb. Remember that? Airbnb came in the clutch. We were doing our I Don't Think So Honey live in Toronto. We stayed in that amazing Airbnb. We loved it. We had the time of our life. Thanks, Airbnb, still to this day. I remember that Airbnb like it was my own childhood home. Thank you, Airbnb.

If you're planning a trip on Airbnb, try a guest favorite. The most loved homes on Airbnb. The guest favorites are a collection of some of Airbnb's most loved homes based on reviews and reliability. But why is Airbnb better than a hotel? First of all, more space. Great for a trip with a lot of people and allows you to be closer to friends and family when traveling together. Second, more bathrooms because sharing a bathroom, I know it's not our favorite thing to do.

Also, more common area spaces to hang out together. No more feeling crammed in one person's hotel room for the pre-party. Airbnbs can have things like a private movie room or game room. Think pool table darts, board games. These are easily accessible and you don't have to share the amenities with others. Looking for an authentic and local experience? Stay in the coolest parts of the area instead of the touristy ones. Airbnb, it's just for you and me. Hey everyone, we here at Las Culturistas love

Philadelphia cream cheese. With over a dozen different flavors, it is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Philadelphia cream cheese makes everything creamier. It can be used in so much more than their classic bagel and cream cheese. You can dip veggies or crackers into it to snack on, enhance your guacamole with it, make creamy pasta alfredo, buffalo chicken dip, and more. I personally love to use it to make things like cheesecake cookies and sauces dips.

Oh, we love a good dip in this house. The Philadelphia website has so many amazing recipes. You can try if you need some more inspiration as well. One I've been eyeing lately is their Philly stuffed mushrooms. Yum. Sign me up. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home. Now what else is going on in the words of Cynthia Bailey? Oh. Our favorite Celine song.

What, Imperfections? Oh, Imperfections, yeah, of course. Oh my God. If you know anything, you know that Celine Dion's top song on streaming, I think, is of course Imperfections off the last album, Courage. It's one of the- I got my own imperfections. It's so funny. It's actually nominated for record of the year next year at the Culture Awards. No, it's too early to announce. This is just a rumor. It's actually- This is just a rumor. No, there's actually-

No, no, I actually know. Oh, but this is making up for the huge snub that it was never sung in Titanic. I'm just saying, like, it's been snubbed. I'm literally getting breaking news. Like, I'm being told by the voters that it's already nominated for Record of the Year next year at the Los Padres Cultural Awards. The voters? The voters are texting you? Oh, you know, it's too long a story to get into. Imperfection's going to open the show. That's not an opener, I would say. Maybe that's one with Josh and Aaron.

We'll talk. That's really good. I'm partial to, and this is in Titanic, thank God. Thank God. They got this right. But it's underrated, is Taking Chances. Oh, don't even talk to me about Taking Chances. Don't know much about your life. Don't know much about your world. But...

Yes, a really good Glee cover. Leah Michelle. Say that. Leah Michelle. Also, can we talk about another great Glee cover? Is Leah Michelle doing Rihanna episode, what is it? Oh, Take a Bow? Take a Bow. Oh my God. No, first of all, don't talk to me about Leah Michelle's talent. Leah Michelle, that's a talented young girl. It's actually really good. She's number 40. Leah Michelle, that's a talented young girl. I understand people have their thoughts and their feelings. If we're going to talk about Glee covers,

Remember the- And we are, I guess. And that first mashup episode where the girls did Walking on Sunshine into Halo for Beyonce. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. And what did they drink? Like a cold brew or something? What did they have? Yeah, yeah. Wait, the bit of the episode, what was it? They drank like a juice that made them crazy? They drank cold brew.

That is Ryan Murphy coded as fast. That's how they broke that episode of comedic television. The girls drink energy drinks and sing a halo. I miss comedic breaks. I miss it. Episodic TV. People are comparing Kamala to Leigh Michelle right now. Oh, really? It's like, oh my God, Biden was beanie? Biden was beanie.

Are you serious? Is this what gay Twitter's talking about right now? Beanie's approval rating was actually 26% nationally. Beanie was not going to win Michigan.

Oh my God. Yeah, she came in and she saved the country with that. You know, Bowen and I were there the second night. The second night. We went to go see Funny Girl. No, it was... For Leah's second night of Funny Girl. Actually, I bought a ticket to... My mother and my aunt obsessed with Funny Girl growing up and I bought a ticket to...

see Beanie and Beanie had called out, which I guess she, she was doing quite a bit at that time. Cause it was, I think it was hard. It was tough. But then I was like, I wish I had waited because when we saw Leah Michelle, she fucking tore it up. And I mean, I'm telling you, and I'm not just talking about that. I am talking about take a bow. I am talking about taking chances. Oh my God. Taking chances in the pilot of glee.

Yes. Okay. Yes. It's in the pilot? Yes. It's when Lea Michele walks up to the sign-in sheet. Yes, you're right! Yes. That's a great pilot. Oh, no. That one thing you must give, Ryan Murphy executes a pilot the only way you should, which is to perfection. And Jane Lynch, what a star. What a great turn. Also in front of the camera.

Also in Funny Girl. But Brett scurried as soon as Leah was coming. Well, now you hear what she says. She says she wishes she had stayed in the show. I said Tova Feldscher would like a word. Let Tova cook. It's actually Real Culture number 80. Tova Feldscher would like a word. And hey, let Tova cook. Season four of Walking Dead, Miss Tova stepped onto set. Oh! Everybody know who's mayor.

Oh, everybody know who's Rachel Bloom's mother and crazy ex-girlfriend. Tova really books. Tova books. She books. She should. You forget, Tova books. She has no problem working. No. Tova has no problem working. That's a rule of culture. That's rule of culture number 47. Tova has no problem working. I did not know that...

No, I don't watch Walking Dead. Can I say, it's the most disgusting, twisted show I've ever seen. Are you watching Fallout? Have you seen Fallout? Of course, every episode. I just, I'm on the second to last episode. I'm obsessed with Fallout. Oh, it's incredible. Multiple Emmy nominations by the way.

Well, yes, I was like... The girls clocked it early. It's... I just... I can see it in the future. Bowen's going up to Ella Purnell and they're having a moment at the Emmys. And those eyes, I know you'd love it. Oh, she's pretty. And Slade in Yellow Jacket. I mean, she's a stunning girl. She's a star. Talk about Belgravia. What is that? Talk about Belgravia. What's Belgravia? On MGM Plus. Amazon. Girl. Which was famously reviewed viciously in The Guardian. The review begins...

Like, clickety-clackety, give me a boo. No, it's Julian Fellowes has been typing again. Oh, no, this was the most savage line of any review in history is the first line of this. Clickety-clack. Well, Julian Fellowes has been typing again. It was so savage. I laughed for an hour. That's Jiminy Glick level. That is Jiminy Glick. Oh, someone's got a writer. Oh, someone's been, no, no, no. Oh, someone's been writing. Oh, someone's been writing.

This is a Jiminy house. Oh, period. We might have... Jiminy might have to go to some play later. We might need a Jiminy night. Yeah, we might need Jiminy night. Yeah, we love Jiminy. Martin Short, the heterosexual that you are. Oh, yeah. He's one of our best. It's true. He's incredible. If every man was like gay, straight, whatever, was like Martin Short...

There would be no war. Yeah. It would be funny-ass Canadians down. I have a feeling he's voting blue. I have a feeling he's in the cave. I think he's voting blue. I think he's K-Hive. I think he's just, he's almost as K-Hive as these Provincetown folks. And I'm telling you, these Provincetown folks are really in the can for Kamala. I know he has a t-shirt silkscreen. The way this merch...

Someone's trying to dig for some tea. Okay. Yes, the rumor is that... No, we can't. Well, we can't speculate and gossip on lost culture anymore? My, how the times have changed. Remember when they used to say whatever the fuck they wanted? Now the press will run with anything. Okay, let's say it.

Oh, speaking of which, there's someone at EW fucking who listens to- No, Bowen, don't do this. No, no, I don't care, who's listening to this podcast, mining every little thing I have to say about SNL. I really fucking hate what they do over there with me. Stop it. Stop it. Don't do this.

No, I pulled out of a round table because I was like, no, you're not getting me. Don't fucking take my words out of context when I talk about my job. You did take them out of context, you guys. They absolutely did. That was a mess. And then guess what? EW, like, there's pickup there. Like, people fucking, like, turn out all this. And then fucking... And the next thing you know, Ben Shapiro is sharing my quotes on his Facebook. And now all these fucking MAGA fucking assholes are, like, commenting on my shit. I hate MAGA. I'm like... And I'm sorry. I hate MAGA.

I hate MAGA. I really don't like this Cheeto. I don't like that Cheeto. That Cheeto in office. What rule of culture was that? Seven. Rule of culture number seven. I hate MAGA. And I don't like that Cheeto. I don't want him back in office at all. And you know what? Quote me, EW. Okay, I said it with my chest. I don't like that Cheeto at all. Like Taylor says, do not come for my job.

Speaking of conservative voices, did you notice that Megyn Kelly went back to her Fox News hair?

I feel, I have not been keeping up. Okay, so have you been tracking the hair? First of all, I'm now remembering. First of all, I'm the only one keeping up. I remember one of House and I's big arguments is whether the movie Bombshell is good. Because he's- I never saw it. But you love Nicole so much. Nicole went through hell for that film. She's wearing a 20 pound wig. Yeah. She's on a bike the entire film. They have her on a bike.

Nicole went through hell for that film. I mean, it was basically like the Madonna boot camp. It was Madonna boot camp. And the only thing I will say is, you know, like, whatever, whatever. But they ate. The girls ate. Okay. Don't take that

Margot was good. I'm neutral. Margot was great. You know what? I think Bombshell is, it's an interesting watch. I didn't think it was a bad movie. I thought it was like surprising that it got Oscar traction. It was an uphill battle to make a movie about that place. Is that Jay Roach? I don't remember. James Cameron. Who wrote Bombshell? I have no idea. It was James Cameron. And we needed his eye on this situation. I don't have the car of the Seabird.

It's Jay Roach. It is Jay Roach. It's Jay Roach. Yeah, it was all right. But anyway, no, I've been watching- Megyn Kelly. I haven't been watching almost any Megyn Kelly because I know- What was it that I saw? Oh, this is what I wanted to say. Because Mayor Pete, which I'll still call him, has been on Fox News a lot. He's been all over it. Crushing it. And can I say something to the people at Fox News? Yes.

and you're not listening, but I just want to throw this out there. The thing is, like, every time you invite him on there, you truly play yourself because you guys look so dumb. And also, you have to understand, whoever's in HMU at Fox News is beating his face to hell. That man's skin on Fox News is nuts. And his hair has never looked better. He's like, he looks like

He's looking like a stud. I think he brings his own HMU. You think that Mayor Pete has his own HMU? I think if you're in the cabinet, you got HMU. I mean, let me tell you, I think Chastin knows a few things around the makeup counter, and he's taking care of his husband. God.

I'm just saying like when you go on a thing like the Today Show or whatever, like you usually don't bring your own grooming. I bring my own. Okay. Did I bring, did Jessica come with me? Yes. Jessica came with you to Today Show. To beat me for Rockabella's son? I remember Jessica was there. She looks good. The skin is really skinny. You think he's had work done? Retinol. It's retinol.

You think he got some jawline filler? He's looking more ready for camera. And it's because those Fox News girls keep bringing him on because I guess they have a... They're edgelords. They literally have like a fetish of being humiliated because the girl is beating them down. Yeah, you could actually see in this one last interview he did, the woman was interviewing him, like drag and drop Fox News blonde host. And...

He was like running train on her. And you can see in her eyes a little bit that she was turned on by it. I think they do like it. That's what I'm saying. And I think it must be getting through to some people because he's constantly there. I wonder if people call in and they're like, oh, that Mayor Pete, he really annoys us. But like they love it. Drives a viewership or something. I don't know. I need to know if he brings his own grooming. I think he probably does.

Really? I think he was on Daily Show and I think he had the same beat. We cannot talk about Mayor Pete's makeup. I mean, I think we are. And I actually think this is the only podcast that will talk about Mayor Pete's grooming. Okay. And I mean, grooming as in HMU, not grooming like our favorite activity. I think we should have that conversation.

It's so funny. I think we should have that conversation. I think we should have that conversation. We're in P-Town right now. It's family week, which is a huge LOL. Groom, groom. Bitches say you can't catch me. Groom, groom. Grooming all these children. Now EW is coming for us on that one. Hey, EW, we have your number. Entertainment Weekly.

Oh my God. Bo Nyang admits grooming proclivities on Las Coturistas. The SNL star newly minted three-time Emmy nominee. Or actually, get it right. Stop. Bo, listen. Vacation, it's something you got to get right. You can't roll the dice. You have to make sure that it's all together. Everything is where it's supposed to be when you get where you're going on vacation. Can you agree? I have never agreed with you more. And I...

I had so many wonderful trips with you in the past. Bowen, I remember one of our favorite trips to Toronto when we shared that Airbnb. Remember that? Airbnb came in the clutch. We were doing our I Don't Think So Honey live in Toronto. We stayed in that amazing Airbnb. We loved it. We had the time of our life there.

Thanks, Airbnb, still to this day. I remember that Airbnb like it was my own childhood home. Thank you, Airbnb. If you're planning a trip on Airbnb, try a guest favorite. The most loved homes on Airbnb. The guest favorites are a collection of some of Airbnb's most loved homes based on reviews and reliability. But why is Airbnb better than a hotel? First of all, more space. Great for a trip with a lot of people and allows you to be closer to friends and family when traveling together. Second, more bathrooms.

Bathrooms, because sharing a bathroom, I know it's not our favorite thing to do. Also, more common area spaces to hang out together. No more feeling crammed in one person's hotel room for the pre-party. Airbnbs can have things like a private movie room or game room. Think pool table darts, board games. These are easily accessible and you don't have to share the amenities with others. Looking for an authentic and local experience? Stay in the coolest parts of the area instead of the touristy ones. Airbnb, it's just for you and me.

Hey everyone, we here at Las Culturistas love Philadelphia cream cheese. With over a dozen different flavors, it is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or a snack. Philadelphia cream cheese makes everything creamier. It can be used in so much more than their classic bagel and cream cheese. You can dip veggies or crackers into it to snack on, enhance your guacamole with it, make creamy pasta alfredo, buffalo chicken dip, and more. I personally love to use it to make things like cheesecake cookies and sauces dips.

Oh, we love a good dip in this house. The Philadelphia website has so many amazing recipes. You can try if you need some more inspiration as well. What I've been eyeing lately is their Philly stuffed mushrooms. Yum. Sign me up. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.

Hey, everyone. We're so excited to tell you about the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast, a new podcast we're obsessed with. That's right. It's a brand new podcast recapping episodes of everyone's favorite comfort show, The Golden Girls. And in each episode, the hosts also give you a fully researched deep dive into something from the Golden Girls universe. For example, remember Coco, the gay chef from the pilot episode? Where did he go? Whatever happened to that actor? The Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast will give you his whole story, including its unbelievable

ending. Hosted by comedic podcaster Patrick Hines and Broadway scene stealer Jennifer Simard, the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast is about to be one of your new favorite podcast obsessions. So grab your cheesecake and head to the Lanai as you follow the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast wherever you listen. Episodes one and two are available to binge right now. That's the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast.

Anyway. You know what I'm also loving? What are you loving? I'm like getting on Reservation Dogs finally. Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard it's good. Oh, my God. It's the show. It just did really well. In fact, the last season, but they just got nominated. Oh, Reservation Dogs. Sorry, I didn't get the last part. Oh, my God. Fabulous. I'm one of those people. I'm like, for some reason, I'm like waking up to FX on Hulu. Can they make a bad show?

I don't think so. I mean, first of all, I want to tell you something. There was no bigger fan of Hulu as a teacher than me, Matt Rogers. Thank you. Thank you, girl. A teacher, okay? A teacher, more like a show. That is the elite Mara. Yeah, elite Mara. Say it louder. The elite Mara. It might be a real culture. Oh my God, I'm afraid. Although you don't think that's true. No, I'm just like, I'm really, I'm clutching my pearls. I'm actually watching.

get back. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Why are we always like ganging up on Rooney all of a sudden? No one was ganging up. No one was ganging up. And here's the thing. It's not a gang up on Rooney just to give Kate Mara one single flower. And the people don't give her one single flower. But I'm sorry. It was a gang up because Charlton was saying she's that y'all were saying she was the elite Mara. And so that's a gang up on

No, it's not a gang up on... First of all, people might listen to this podcast and be like, Bowen Yang is the elite talent. They might... No one is saying that. It's not a gang up on me. No one is saying that, by the way. They're all saying that. For us to totally blow past Rooney, it's like, she gave you the social network and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and then she was in Carol. She can do it all. She was also in her, her erasure, and it happens once.

Way more than anyone knows. It's happening in small towns across America. They're erasing the movie Her. Rooney and Her? You see, you didn't even remember that she was in it. She plays Joaquin's ex. Oh, yeah. No, I remember. I saw the movie twice. I loved her. I loved her. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? And I think I saw that twice, too. Carol Flung Out of Space? Carol. What?

- Head, head, head. - That story, her eating that piece of pie. - I'm gonna say two words again. - A teacher. - A teacher. - That Jesus movie. - Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. - Kate Mara, baby, it's not Kate Mara. - No, Kate Mara can give you everything. First of all, two words, a teacher, but here's another two words, brokeback mountain, bitch.

And people forget about the supporting women in Brokeback Mountain. They don't forget about Michelle Williams. She gets spoken about in that movie. Anne Hathaway was just as good as Michelle Williams in that movie. Linda Cardellini, listen to me right now. Icon.

kills it in Rookback Mountain. And Kate Mara in that last scene with Heath Ledger after she leaves and she says she's getting married and he's like, I'm proud of you. And then she leaves and he goes to his closet and pulls out Jack Twist's old shirt and says, Jack Osweiler. Jack Nasty. Jack Nasty. I, no, we love both Maras equally in this house. I just have to, I don't think you heard what we said. I love TV and I love movies.

Period. I love cake. I love pie. They're ruling different kingdoms. Clearly. Charlton's like over there just loving cake. Three words. He's sort of a cake boy. Under the bridge. Oh, yeah. I got to get into that one. Four words. The girl from Plainville. I was worried there about Plainville. And is that the elite fanning? You're saying Elle is the elite fanning? Yes.

Right now. Well, that was the big breakout. I mean, Elle Fanning and the Beguiled. Yeah, period. Okay, interesting. First of all, they stuck Dakota on that goddamn spooky show. What was that show Miss Dakota was on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That and then like, I think she was on there's this scary show with Josh Hartnett.

Remember how slay Dakota was? Penny Dreadful. Penny Dreadful. Can we talk for a second about Dakota in War of the Worlds? We can. She was amazing. She was incredible. She was the child actor for our movie.

She's a Screen Actors Guild nominee as an individual for I Am Sam. No one talks about it. No one talks about it. I think Dakota is going to be a huge nominations leader next year at Culture Awards. Oh my God. You know what I haven't watched yet and I do feel badly about this, but I need to watch it is Ripley. Oh yeah. I have to just sit down and clean it and knock it out because I heard it's spectacular. Oh me too. And we love Andy.

We love Andy. I'm sure he, do you think he ever goes by Andy, Andrew Scott? All the time, every day. You guys think? I think I would have to call a band. Oh my God. It's like Provincetown is rubbing off on these gay guys all around us.

So... Ripley shot beautifully. Have you watched it yet? Yes. You think it's stunning? Totally different take because I have to say, like, for me, the talented Mr. Ripley is like a top ten. Yeah, yeah. And Gwyneth is so iconic. I knew!

- It's incredible. And I think it's Matt Damon's best role. - Yeah. Jude Law's perfect. - Pre is some human male as looked on ever. - Yeah. - But this is a totally different take. It's very dark and Ripley is not as innocent in this. He is Machiavellian, like dark, dark. And Andrew's of course,

Yeah, he's a total star. But the way it's shot, it's giving Francis Ha. It's giving... Yes, it's very Francis Ha. It's surprising to the darker people. Yes, because Francis Ha is a very light movie. Very light film. Greta is everywhere you look. I have to see Francis Ha, actually. I've never seen it. It's fun. It's great. Yeah. Adam Driver's really good in it. Mr. Samaritan. Mr. Samaritan! Oh! I think Mistress is the

I went to see Mistress America by myself one Thanksgiving at the mine in Colorado. I was like, I guess I'm seeing this fucking gay ass movie. I guess I'm... Lola Kirk. Is she the elite Kirk? Wait. No, Lola Kirk is not the elite Kirk. I'm not talking about this. Lola Kirk? She did what? Oh.

Yes. Is it hard to shut Manny Bragg down? No, but she did do that. That's something. Jared just walked back in from the gym, Bragg, and he has to break a tie. Who is the elite Mara? Come say it. Mara sister. Mara sister. Who is the elite Mara sister?

Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. He hasn't seen a teacher. Which, by the way, I'm not saying Rooney is the elite Mara. I'm saying you guys cannot fucking steamroll Rooney like that by saying Kate is... Just to go back to Lola Kirk real quick. She has a band and is a singer, and I saw her at the German Pavilion Gottschier Hall in Ridgewood, and she tore. Okay. Speaking of the word singer, did you see Sabrina Carpenter's fragrance ad?

Cherry. Cherry baby. Cherry baby. She walks over to a cherry, puts the stem in her mouth, takes it out, and it's a little heart shape, and she winks at the camera, and then it says cherry baby, the new fragrance from Sabrina Carpenter. And I said, if you don't smell like cherry baby this fall, I'm not talking to you. I'm not talking to you. We certainly aren't going on a second date. If you haven't spritzed cherry baby on your little cherry babies, I mean your ball sack. Yeah. They're not going in my mouth. Yeah, no. Listen, here's what I'll say. Take that, EW. This is what I'm going to pitch.

I know Sabrina is probably going to be the one doing the ads for Cherry Baby the Fragrance. Bone and I would love to help. We would love to be involved in Cherry Baby ads. If you guys want us to come just do a quick cameo in any Cherry Baby ads, like we would love to do that. And really, Sabrina, any way you want to collaborate with us. Not now, though. Recently, Matt and I have turned down some opportunities with some girlies. With perfume agencies. With perfume agencies. Exactly. Exactly.

Bo, listen, vacation, it's something you got to get right. You can't roll the dice. You have to make sure that it's all together. Everything is where it's supposed to be when you get where you're going on vacation. Can you agree? I have never agreed with you more. And I've

so many wonderful trips with you in the past. Bowen, I remember one of our favorite trips to Toronto when we shared that Airbnb. Remember that? Airbnb came in the clutch. We were doing our I Don't Think So Honey live in Toronto. We stayed in that amazing Airbnb. We loved it. We had the time of our life. Thanks, Airbnb, still to this day. I remember that Airbnb like it was my own childhood home. Thank you, Airbnb.

If you're planning a trip on Airbnb, try a guest favorite. The most loved homes on Airbnb. The guest favorites are a collection of some of Airbnb's most loved homes based on reviews and reliability. But why is Airbnb better than a hotel? First of all, more space. Great for a trip with a lot of people and allows you to be closer to friends and family when traveling together. Second, more bathrooms because sharing a bathroom, I know it's not our favorite thing to do.

Also, more common area spaces to hang out together. No more feeling crammed in one person's hotel room for the pre-party. Airbnbs can have things like a private movie room or game room. Think pool table darts, board games. These are easily accessible and you don't have to share the amenities with others. Looking for an authentic and local experience? Stay in the coolest parts of the area instead of the touristy ones. Airbnb, it's just for you and me. Hey everyone, we here at Las Culturistas love

Philadelphia cream cheese. With over a dozen different flavors, it is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Philadelphia cream cheese makes everything creamier. It can be used in so much more than their classic bagel and cream cheese. You can dip veggies or crackers into it to snack on, enhance your guacamole with it, make creamy pasta alfredo, buffalo chicken dip, and more. I personally love to use it to make things like cheesecake cookies and sauces dips.

Oh, we love a good dip in this house. The Philadelphia website has so many amazing recipes. You can try if you need some more inspiration as well. One I've been eyeing lately is their Philly stuffed mushrooms. Yum. Sign me up. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.

Hey, everyone. We're so excited to tell you about the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast, a new podcast we're obsessed with. That's right. It's a brand new podcast recapping episodes of everyone's favorite comfort show, The Golden Girls. And in each episode, the hosts also give you a fully researched deep dive into something from the Golden Girls universe. For example, remember Coco, the gay chef from the pilot episode? Where did he go? Whatever happened to that actor? The Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast will give you his whole story, including its unbelievable

ending. Hosted by comedic podcaster Patrick Hines and Broadway scene stealer Jennifer Simard, the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast is about to be one of your new favorite podcast obsessions. So grab your cheesecake and head to the Lanai as you follow the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast wherever you listen. Episodes one and two are available to binge right now. That's the Golden Girls Deep Dive podcast.

Well, listen, we've had a spirited conversation about so many things in culture, and now it's time for the I Don't Think So Honey Olympics. This is going to be just like the regular segment, except we have three incredible people here who are going to all give their thoughts in the form of an I Don't Think So Honey, which is our one-minute segment where we rant against something in culture that we just don't like so much. But first...

But first what? No, but first we'll do it. We'll go. Right? I love but first coffee. But first coffee. Bring it back. Bring it back. I think it's so funny. Do you think Provincetown's going blue in the election? You know what? Let me think about it. Yes. Yeah. Okay. We have to take you to that lesbian store too. You're going to be in heaven. I'm one of the lesbians.

All right. So this is I Don't Think So Honey, and I do have something. You want to time me? Okay, yeah. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, it is a huge issue in the gay community when they give you your prep and it's in the packet. The cotton ball? Oh, no, no, no. It's in this thing. What would you call it? It's like a pamphlet. It's like a booklet of prep and not a little pill bottle. Look, Jared, go get it. This is literally how they give out your prep now. It's like, how the hell am I supposed to travel with this? What is wrong? It's modeled after a girl.

It's model after birth control, which, by the way, that's inconvenient as hell too. That is not the right equivalent. This is ridiculous. First of all, I'm a gay on the go. I got to get places. This is impossible to pack. It's bigger than a dog kit. You look like you're clumsy at customs. This is crazy. First of all, why wouldn't you put pills in pill bottles? I know I'm talking to my sisters now when I say this. There is nothing...

- Five seconds. - Better about this than the way it was. We need to go back to before, and I'm talking about everything in this country. The discourse is toxic. We need to go back to the way we used to speak to each other. Old town values. We need prep and pill bottles. - And that's one minute. - Not old town values. - Old town values, prep and pill bottles. All right. - I miss the old days where I got my prep and pill bottles. - Well, okay. - What now? - I'm coming right up. So put the clock on me.

He's coming right up. This is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, the prep pill bottles, because I'm still on that stuff. And why do they got to put a cotton ball in there? Yeah, every time I'm opening my new prep bottle, I got to make my fingers a tweezer and pinch a little cotton ball out. What, so it doesn't clack, clack, clack in my job kit? I don't give a fuck. I want people to know that I'm fucking and sucking. Okay. And yeah, I'll take two if I...

If I forgot. If you got an extra breeding. If I got an extra breeding. If you breed someone who looks a little dangerous, you got to pop two. Part two of my I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. These over-eager tops up there who, yeah, I get it. My hole is amazing. If I say, maybe not tonight, don't try to keep jockeying in there. 15 seconds. I go, I was literally about to stop this guy this week and be like,

I was going to say the word. Are you ready for this? Dude, in the middle of sex. Can you imagine someone saying that? Are you saying that to anyone? The word? Yeah, I can imagine it. Five seconds. It's not going to happen tonight. No, I get out of there. And that is kind of your tone. The line. That's one minute. Here's what I'll say.

You're in the right town. There's a lot of top shit. Sure, but these tops better listen. They take no for an answer. They take no for an answer. They better because otherwise we might be getting in. You might have a fucking problem with me. Yeah. You don't want a problem with Bowen Yang and P-Town. You do not want to see that. You don't. You know. Also, we forgot to just mention the cotton. That can't be good for the airmen. No! Can I ask? What is the thing with the cotton in any bottle of medication? I ask you my pre-

I'm sorry. I forgot that cotton is from a flower and not an animal. I'm...

The lamily is coming for me. The lamily has officially ate your ass. Girl. Chewed your ass out, rather. Why is there those little cottons in pills? Why is that? I think to prevent the pills from breaking if they hit the wall. Jesus Christ. So I'm saying, yes, let's go back to the bottle, but let's take the cotton ball out. I'm just saying. Shake my pills. Shake my pills. Shake my pills. Next, new Lisa from Temecula just dropped. Shake my pills. Shake my pills. I'm just saying, listen to the sound this makes.

Like it's fucking thick. It's a brochure. No, you're right. It's a cheesecake factory menu. Can I tell you something? This is the first time I'm seeing this. Essentially it's a good reminder. I'm going to take my pill now. Who am I ready? I'm going to take my Pure For Men too. By the way, Pure For Men, you can't. I respect the hell out of y'all. Keep sending. Oh, I love Pure For Men. Baby, look at it. I have it on display. The bum bum. Hello, bitch. The bum bum goes so hard. The bum bum people, people go, ooh.

No, we can't. What are you saying? Who am I? Jared is doing an impression of someone we met on vacation. We did meet someone on vacation who we were talking to them and then they got their passport out and... She might listen. That's okay. Her passport was...

It was like Looney Tunes. Well, no, because the thing is, like, we were just standing there, like, completely still. There was no movement at all. And she, like, had her passport in her hands. And then out of nowhere, this, like... It was like... It was like a slapstick moment. It was slapstick. It was Charlie motherfucking Chaplin, which is not slapstick, I know, but you know what I mean. Is he not slapstick? I don't think he's technically considered slapstick. Well, damn. Uh...

Oh, no, he is slapstick. No, you're right. A teacher towards me. No, no, no, no. No, Charlie Chaplin is slapstick. A teacher towards me in the best way. Not in the evil groomer way that Kate Mara so expertly portrayed. She was so brilliant as a groomer in that show. Kate Mara's grooming was so convincing. Better than Julianne's? Oh, Julianne. Julianne had some good grooming. She did a great grooming in May, December. Let's be real. Yeah, let's be real. Tomorrow.

Julianne Moore. Thank you. I'm not dealing with this Kate Mara. I also have to say, Kate Mara has not turned in a performance that's nearly as good as either Carol or Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. You didn't watch a teacher and so you don't have a leg to stand on. You want to turn the episode of Pose? It's my birthday. I won't be spoken to like this. Excuse me?

Her episode of Pose. Her episode of Pose. Who could forget? What else is there about Kate Mara? No one's ever been better when being pushed in front of a train. Oh, please. Her claim to fame. Spoiler alert. Far different. Taylor was amazing in Amsterdam. Yeah. I was so proud of my girl. No, I'm sorry. Rachel McAdams is the best. Yeah, she really did that. At getting pushed in front of a train? Or just being hit by a large vehicle. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

and shove it up your hairy ass. That's what that moment is. - I'm gonna chase my prep pill with my Heineken while you announce Jared Freider. - This is Jared Freider's "I Don't Think So, Honey."

His time starts now. Okay, so this goes out to Logan. Logan, we love you. This is basically my cousin Rachel Stryker's I Don't Think So Honey, which is I Don't Think So Honey Pediatric Cancer. Out of all cancer research funding, only 4%, only 4% goes to pediatric cancer. So fucked up. We need to donate to pediatric cancer to stop it. And on that same limb, I Don't Think So Honey Brooks from season 10 of The Real Housewives of Orange County, who faked cancer. Oh.

One of the greatest reunions of all time. Watch it, watch it. Dig yourself a bigger grave, Iggy. Dig it, dig it. 30 seconds. I don't think so, honey. Shannon Bedore never coming on this podcast yet. We got to get her on. Oh, okay. We got to get Archie on the pod. It needs to happen. Shannon and Archie, her dog? Shannon and Archie together. I envision two more mics at this table. Everyone, ruff, ruff, huddling around, talking about when Brooks faked cancer. 15 seconds. I don't think so, honey. Cancer. And I think that that is something that we all should be discussing for the rest of P-Town. Okay. Okay.

Five seconds. Do you want to do one more? And thank you to all my homies out there. And to your birthday. Happy birthday. And to all his homies out there. Love you, Logan. Yeah. I mean, that's a very spirited. Very spirited. And it dovetailed perfectly into pop culture. I had to. I love that. Rachel inspired me to do that. Did you know? It's an important message.

Yes. Did you know that Jared watches the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion part three every night before he goes to bed? And do we mean every night? Every single night. Until I set up that app that you told me about. Endel, which we've loved. I love Endel. We love Endel so much. I love the soundscape of Vicky Gunnelson screaming.

Come on, house. Get over here. It's time to do I Don't Think So, Honey. This is Patrick Rodgers' I Don't Think So, Honey. You guys are going to be introduced to Charlton last because you haven't met him yet. Charlton has a big debut. And I asked if he had anything to say, and he said always. Always. All right. So here comes house. You want to count him down, Bonian? This is Patrick Rodgers' house. This is I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. Speaking of important messages, according to the director of retail business development at Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty is not a cat.

She's actually a little girl born and raised in the suburbs of London. I don't think so, honey. That's not a girl. That's a cat. Girl, quit this narrative. I'm so sick of hearing about how this is a little girl. This is not Abigail Breslin. This bitch has been dressed like a cat since I was born. Dressed like a cat? She's always been a cat. 30 seconds. Wait, now hold on.

Now hold on. Now hold on. I understand wrestling. No, no, no. Do you see they attack me? They attack my beliefs because they know how important message this is. This is a cat who's going about her business and she does not need to be disrespected into saying that she's a human. If you've ever met a cat, you know they do not want to be associated with human beings. No.

No. Trust me. Hello Kitty has always been a cat. She will always be a cat. And I don't want this narrative to continue for another second. And that's one minute. I want you to know, Wes. Wait, first of all, the first thing when you type in is hello into Google, the first thing is Hello Kitty a cat. Are you kidding me? No. But it's...

It's a thing. Yes. I'm sorry. This is just to correlate and be a supplemental material. Celeste and I wrote a whole fucking sketch about this. Yes. Like, this is still driving us crazy. It's an insane conversation that that company will not get up. Won't budge. No, it's satanic. Sorry, Celeste, me, and the Please Don't Destroy Boys, we wrote this Hello Kitty sketch. Kiki Palmer. I do remember this.

It's Charlton Lamb's time. Wait, did you have something to contribute to the Hello Kitty discourse? Oh, you want to add to that? I just want to say, just know that Hello Kitty's always been a cat. Thank you. Always been a cat. This is Charlton Lamb, everyone. It's your honor to meet him today. And I'm very excited to hear what you got for us. Charlton, this is, I'm very excited too. This is very anticipated for me. This is Charlton Lamb's I Don't Think So Any Time starts now.

Hi. Okay. I just want to start and say, I'm not really ever on the application grinder. Okay. When I am, and if you see me on there, please do as my headline says and take me on your boat. Yes. But I just want to say, I don't think so, honey. People who post screenshots of people telling them they were good at sex. Oh.

as part of their profile on Grindr. Like, this is one of the best quotes I've ever had. You are so good. It's so weird. It's like, why am I scrolling through your album and it's like nude, nude, and then like a review of you being good, like some sort of

creepy, nasty Jackie Weaver for your consideration campaign. It's so bizarre. And like, also like, one thing that is not part of whether I want to have sex with you is if someone else enjoyed having sex with you. Like, that's not part of it. It's like, am I attracted to you? Are you hot? It's meaningless data. It's like, hey, just even though you think I'm not cute, just so you know, I actually have a 4.8 in terms of blowing and I'm working on raising my ring. No, I don't think...

- I think so. - And that's one minute. - I mean, I think we have our winner. We have our winner right there. - I think Charlton has won the Adam thinks so Olympics. - Congratulations, bro. - Congratulations. - I have to say, I think we might've seen the same person because I had never, wait. - Are you talking to someone in P-town? - Is it here locally in P-town? - It's here in P-town. - You're busted. - It's here in P-town. And then the other thing is like, the reply is always the most like,

Thank you so much, man. I really love that. I really was working on it. Like, why is it this way? This reminds me of, I was at Chinese school one year and a little kid, it was kind of the cutest thing, but it was this little kid held up a blue eyes, white dragon card from Yu-Gi-Oh!

a powerful card in Yu-Gi-Oh! and just walked around and just kind of like showed it to everybody. Yeah, let it, let you know, status. Like, let it, you know, but it's like, well, everyone has that card, but also it's like, everyone's had sex. It's so like, I've fucked before. It's literally like,

It's like, it is. It's posting your own review. It's crazy. And also it's like, I don't know who, do you guys regularly follow up with trade? Not like that. Not like that. Not like, Hey, leave a review would really help me. It's not the actual podcast. No. Totally. See you again. Yes.

This all being said, by the way, if you do give us a five-star review on the podcast app, it actually does help. It actually does help. Actually, we've had some crazy people lately sort of drag us, so please give us a five-star review. You better not look. It's not that I... I see it every now and then, and I'm like, I wish some of the readers would come through. So give us a five-star review, and I'm so happy that's the way that this podcast is going to end. Can we just thank Charlton, Patrick, and Frida? Happy

Happy birthday, Freda. It's Jared's birthday, and he's one of our favorites. And we love you very much, Jared Frieder. Do you want to say one more thing to all the... Your homies, really. Your homies. Jared's fans are called homies. Are his fans called homies? Yeah, yeah. If you're a Jared fan, you're a homie. To all my homies out there. My Dade County dreamers. To all my Dade County dreamers, I just want to say, I hope you had a brat summer and vote for Kamala Harris for president.

Thanks, homies. Thanks, homies. We end every episode with a song. Provincetown, we're gonna see you there. I think it may have been better the first time, but your effort was spectacular. Bye. Bye.

And our music is by Henry Kaburski.

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The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard-pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh, gosh. The US Olympic Trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes. We're going out there smashing into each other full force.

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