And
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Bye.
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Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. With.
A big announcement. Oh my gosh, we can finally say the sleuths have been getting their magnifying glasses out, smoking from their little pipes. Mm-hmm. Sherlock Holmes. Are we going to have to create a new category? Rears, Katie's, Publicist, Finalist, Kyle's, and Sherlock Holmes? No, we're not going to do that. That's enough. Yeah. Kyle's, I also want to just fold into Katie's. Can we just officially fold Kyle's into Katie's? No, we can't do that. And what? I like four. Where did that come from? I like four. I don't.
No, you know what? I can't believe it's already this acrimonious. You can come in here. You fly in with your big ideas. You're supposed to run this by me. Why would Kyle's float into Casey's? You think I forced the Kyle's through? I wouldn't say that you ran it by my ass.
Honey. Well, anyway, we can have this discussion later. Big announcement. Here's the thing. Maybe Kyle should do something to make it so that they deserve to stay. Kyle's. Y'all better hit us up if you want to be in the acronym.
We're talking to you. Oh, by the way, later on in the episode, why don't we bring our guests in? I want to pitch my Kyle Richards spinoff. I don't think we need any more of her on my television. Well, I think you might disagree with me when you hear what I have to say. Is it Kyle Richards does tongue twisters and we can't even understand her voice?
I lost it. I lost it. - Big old bitch. - Well, I'm just like, I'm so tired of her. This is my college impression. - When she gets emotional, she does sort of a...
That's actually, you know what? No, we do need more Kyle Richards on TV. When you hear my idea for the spinoff, you're going to be like, yes, that girl and her twisted tongue. Green light. On the screens again. I have such a good idea for her. Okay. Speaking of Bravo. Yeah, I think it is public now. August 5th, the Las Culturistas Culture Awards will be on Bravo and streaming on Peacock the next day. Yes. Immediately streaming on Peacock.
this is going to be incredible we are filming it in la we can't say where we can't say when yet all this information is going to come out yes piecemeal over the next couple months but yes it's true i guess in a way publicist season has begun this means publicist season has begun that's why it's a little bit
Normally we have them in June, obviously. The timeline is a little bit sort of shifted down, but your work begins now. - Yeah, we can officially say we truly start award season now. - Yes. - Because it's gonna be us
August 5th. And then the next month, probably what, three weeks into the month in September is the Emmys, whatever that is. But we will be first. It's time for everyone to start talking about people, things, places, happenings that you think need to be called out and shout out. Categories will be announced soon. Yes. And nominees following after.
And then we're going to have a big old show again in LA. We'll say more about when later, but August 5th, 8-5, big day. We have a Culture Award winner here. Yes, Culture Award winner. I was trying to count how many times our guest has been on the show. I think this is like eight or nine. But then that wasn't including all of the sort of iconic guests.
I don't think so, honey appearances. Of course. Oh my God. Gauntlet do gag. How about that for a throwback? Wow, remember the gauntlet do gag where our guest famously said, I don't think so, honey, when you fart and a little cum comes out in front of my mother, father, and sister. That's bringing us all closer. And he still didn't even win. He should have though. No, well, Rachel Pegram won. Rachel Pegram iconically won. Yeah.
And she is, yes. Rachel Peekrum did win that fair and square. But it's like any awards show where there's the winners and then there's the people that you rigged. Well, I mean, you'd have to take that up with our judges for that show, which were Jinx Monsoon and Alaska. Icons. Wow. Wow. The gloss coach really has remained...
Over the years. It has remained. Lost Coach really has remained over the years. It's actually rule of culture number four. Lost Coach really has remained over the years. We'll get to work on that book soon at some point too. So our guest is the host of Bravo, speaking of, Love Hotel. Yes. Which airs on, go ahead and say it. April 27th, 8, 7 central after Atlanta. Which by the way, Atlanta has been great. I've heard. I know that we're going to talk a lot about the happenings in Housewives right now. Remember, we're recording this, what is it?
April 16th. So we're about, you know, some days behind where we are when this comes out, but we're going to give generalized thoughts. No, right. This is airing the 30th. Thank you. Airing the 30th. So listen, everybody, you know our guests, you love our guests from the film Fire Island, the television show Loot, stand up all across America and the world. Australia even. Australia even. God, it's just like cool it. You know what I mean? Cool it. Cool it. The Delta must be diamond. Yeah.
I bet it is.
Everyone, please welcome into your ears, Joel Kim Booster! Million miler, actually. Million miler? Yes, honey. Are you a million miler? She gets driven to her connecting flight on the tarmac. On the Porsches. Yes. In the Porsches. You know, that is a good perk. But one thing is, like, you better make sure that you don't have your AirPods in or else when they call your name for that, you're going to miss it one day. Yeah, no. I just got back from Boston in my little pod and, like…
left my wallet at the airport. And it has ruined my life because boy, do I not have proof of citizenship. Whoa. Which in this climate, you need it. Tough. Tough. Tough stuff. Tough stuff. So does that, where's your passport? I have a passport, but here's the thing. That is no longer enough. And I have a provisionary birth certificate that Illinois issued me because Korea can't find mine. Jesus, Korea. It's actually a little culture number eight. Jesus, Korea. Oh,
I was likely stolen, let's be honest. Honestly. The beginning of your life was a caper. laughter
The beginning of Joel Kim's life was a caper. Starring George Clooney. Yeah. And J-Lo. Imagine if that was out of sight. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. Wait, so what do you mean it's no longer enough? Well, they, I literally got my real ID with this provisionary birth certificate that Illinois issued. But that is no longer, they need like the real hard copy of it.
- Come on. What do you mean now? Like in the- - Yeah, it's because like back when I got the real ID a couple of years ago, it was all fine and dandy. And I did scan my way into getting a replacement real ID by holding my thumb over the provisionary part of the birth certificate when I got to the desk and they don't care.
You can't reveal this. The woman in line, oh, whatever. I don't think any of the Katie's readers- But he's really big for his purchase of the Million Miler. Yeah. But no, the thing is, is like the woman in line who checked my documents was like, they won't take this. And then I got to the desk and of course she did. Right. Because she didn't, she doesn't care about her job. She has no loyalty to the DMV. It makes me feel so sad when people so obviously-
don't care about what they do. Or they're so checked out and hate what they do so much. And I just walk away from people like that. And I'm like, God, they have to sit there and do that all day. How do we bring joy to the world? You would rather they be River Ramirez's character in... Yes! Yes! I think the funniest moment in any film. I think the funniest moment of 2024. Absolutely. Like, bar...
That was so fucking good. That is like, where was the nom? Viola Davis in doubt level. And you know, this is what I keep saying. And now that we're out of Oscar season, no one can really take offense because it's all over. I have to say the category fraud was worse than ever this year. It's so bad. We need rules to change the way this is because how can we honor the River Ramirez's of the world? And how can we keep on?
honoring the Viola Davises of the world who, mind you, I will remind you, the reason we have Viola Davis is because she got an Oscar nomination for a 14-second performance in Doubt. The race should have been Ariana Grande versus River Ramirez, period. Period. Until they change it.
Like, are they going to change it? Are the Oscars going to go gender free? Who has those so far? The Indie Spirits have. They have it. The Gothams have it. I believe like a lot of the critics things have it, but not all. The Golden Globes don't.
Critics choice does it. Yeah. Well, the wave has begun and we are restarting the wave here. We're rippling it here. Like, you know what I think would be fun if it's like everyone shows up to the Oscars and no one knows who's nominated and who's not. And it's just, it's a surprise. Five people get Oscars and it's a total surprise. It's totally random. You've said this before. I love it. It's like, okay, we're gonna announce one winner. How,
Have I told you about the production of Urinetown that my college did my senior year before we graduated? They put up the cast list. It was just a list of names and we were all confused. No cast, no characters. Okay. Everyone was very confused. And then we find, come to find out that they will all be wearing black. I'll be wearing masks and I'll be playing every part.
And every night will be different. Because they will pass the ball, quote unquote. Midsong or midline, midscene. Chaos. This is terrible. It was one of the worst things I have ever seen. I was on board as this is terrible. Until higher life. Because it's like, I just want to see the one bitch who can hit the note in Privileged to Pee. I just want to see that one bitch who actually can hit the note. Yes. He was set up to fail by being born with a male voice. Yeah. We all were. It's actually real culture number 30.
We were all set up to fail by being born with a male voice. AMAB voice is a curse. AMAB voice, who cares what we can sing about? Oh my God.
It's real. Yeah, so that sounds like your production of the Oscars, honestly. But I'm not even behind this. No, I am. I would love that. I'm like, I don't know how to fix it, but it needs to be fixed. I did have a whole rubric with how they could do the lead in supporting things, but then I'm just like, I don't know. Ultimately, who cares? Where are you finding the time to sit down and Google Sheet and break this down for yourself? Joel, you've known me, what, over 10 years? You know I just sit here and talk.
Where am I finding the time? He has the thoughts. Here and now. I don't know. No, I'm genuinely curious about the same thing of like, what is your...
in the day, like when do you find the time to watch videos about Universal Studios, to watch videos about, to read prognosticators? Like you do have a really wonderful palette in terms of your media. - But we all three of us sitting here know that acting is 90% sitting around. - 100%. - Drinking La Croix. - Yeah.
So like, I'm sure you're in that. Here's the thing. And to answer your question and probably actually start a conversation about what are specific things that we go online for. I have one. I only have like three or four little hot online hobbies.
And to be honest with you, ever since I was a very young gay kid, going online and looking what was getting like the Oscar buzz and finding out what was happening in the film industry was always one of them. So now that I'm like in the business, it directly aligns with what my online interests always were. And the same is true of like me being on Rollercoaster Tycoon when I was a little kid and like wanting to know what was going on in that industry. So that's still one of my niche interests. But it's like literally Real Housewives,
Like, yeah, what's going on in the theme park industry and what's going on in the entertainment industry and when awards season kicks up, that really is in high gear. But those are my things and I'm curious like what your guys' things are. I, especially after this Japan trip, I am like,
And you guys have known this about me, but it is specifically Final Fantasy games. And all I've been doing on this press tour, I just finished Press for Wedding Banquet. And what I've been doing in between is just playing this fucking game, being a botanist, going around the woods, collecting tree bark and collecting plants. Are we talking rebirth?
No, Seven Rebirth, absolutely. One of the best final boss sequences ever. But I'm talking about the MMO, Final Fantasy XIV. Oh, you're still in that MMO world. I'm 10 years into this fucking game.
I love this game. Some of the best storytelling period in any medium. I am Jonathan Bailey voicing a little cat boy. I've always, I've always hyped up Jonathan Bailey's performance as Grahatia. And I've even told him on the set of Wicked, I said, I just have to tell. After he complimented me. Grahatia is a lyric from Abracadabra. Grahatia! Oh, I just want coffee all over my good fucking shirt.
- First of all, you don't know the- - I think it will be okay. - The niche culture of people, of gamers who are going to die at the fact that you have made a lost culture moment out of singing the name "Graha Tia." - I just want to say, I sang "Graha Tia" to Avra Kedavra and Lady Gaga, and I think ruined this. - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - Dry clean it, baby. - We'll just dry clean it. - I love this too. - It's a really good name. - Yeah, no, no, no. - This is a knit I wore to Coachella. - And this is like,
Only L.A. Only L.A. Oh, I know. That weight of a tank top. Did you feel it? So this type of fabric. This is just water. This is just water. No, that'll do you. You guys, sorry. But this is all going in the episode. It's all going in the episode. No, because this is a very real human moment of sisters being by me and there for me and supporting me when I ruin my Todd Snyder tank that can only be worn in L.A. Oh, wow.
- That could only be one in LA, pre-Coachella. - Anyways. - We're going to, we're going to, no, no, I just want to say- - Speak more on "Grahatiya." - Well, I complimented, on the set of "Wicked," Jonathan Bailey's performance of "Grahatiya" after he was so kind and effusive about "Fire Island."
Yeah. So anyway, that felt like the proper exchange. Okay, Joel, what are your internet thoughts? I mean, mine right now is literally YouTube essays about movie projects that never happened. Be Kind Rewind. Be Kind Rewind. Be Kind Rewind is one of them. Boats and Blockbusters is the one that I'm really into. And quite frankly, hours and hours and hours of Marvel Rivalry.
- Oh, really? - I am so deep into Marvel rivals and watching YouTube videos. All I do in my trailer is watch YouTube videos about Marvel rivals. - Explain, 'cause I have not,
- It's Overwatch, but with Marvel characters. And I never played Overwatch. I never played any of these kinds of games before because it seems like I need a game that has an end point. Otherwise it will happen what has happened to me with Marvel Rivals, which is I've played over 200 hours of this game since December. The last four large arguments that I have gotten in with my fiance have been about this game.
- What are the arguments that are around? - Well, just me getting tilted. Like fully, like getting in a losing streak and wanting and like getting so angry. And he's like, you can't, this is a game. And then, yeah. - It's your version of having a sports team and yelling at the TV and your wife, JM being like, I can't live like this. - Who are you? - Exactly. And he, and it's so ironic because he loves, he's a video game producer. - Yes. He understands where you're coming from.
And he's wanted me to get into games, you know, we've played games together a lot, but like this kind of game for a minute. And then I did and it's turned into something quite. Yes. The slope was slipperier than you thought. Can I ask, not to reveal too much about JM, well, people know this about JM, would it be different if you played League of Legends? No. Okay. Because JM is associated in some way. Yes, he works it right. But like, I don't think, he definitely doesn't care.
- What it is. - Yeah, what it is. - Okay. - He probably thinks it's beautiful, the game you love. - Yeah, no, I mean, he plays himself too, but like, that's the problem is like, we're directly playing this game and he is so much better at video games than I am. And it's this first time where I'm like, we've never, we never compete, but like, there is like, you get ranked in this game. - Oh, that will do you in. - And the ranking, it's like, boy, do I,
It's like, I cannot stand that he is a higher rank than me. - How much higher? - A fair amount. It's gotten to the point where we can't play together
Because he's in a higher rank. Oh, he's in a different tier. He's in a different tier than I am. I don't understand why professional athletes are friends with each other because that is a thing, a system where you are, there is a value system, literally. For love of the game. At least it's an objective standard. I mean, the fact that we're all still friends, quite frankly, is ridiculous. If there was a numerical system that ranked us. Can you imagine if they ranked gay actors? We would kill each other. They do, though. They do.
I mean, they do. Them is publishing it currently as we speak. No, but that's not real. I always know where I stand when there's an announcement about the podcast and it's like, Chapel Roan was on Bowen Yang's podcast, Last Culture Reads This. I always remember that I'm like down here in 54 and we're sitting here with three.
And three is a chasm away from two. Okay. Let's talk about it then. Who's one and two right now? I think Jonathan's probably one. Jonathan's one. And I would say number two is Matt Bomer.
Andrew Scott. Andrew Scott. Oh, for sure. I'm three. The famous three. You're not three. The famous three. I'm not three. Let's be very clear. You don't have permanence on your number. You had the third most viral moment from the fucking Academy Awards. Yeah. Three and that. Yeah.
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And let's talk about your amazing performance in the wedding banquet. No, we're not talking about that. Wait, if you haven't yet seen the wedding banquet, I've seen it twice. It's out now. It's so good. It's fantastic. It's in theaters. It's in theaters. The entire cast crushes it. Yeah, it's so good. It's a great passing of the ball. I mean, it's, you know, we're talking here. My friends are being sweetheart angels and that's very nice. But no, Bowen, you're so incredible in it. Everybody, and like, you're literally next to fucking Lily Gladstone. Lil. And I'm,
Can I tell you I told her this at the premiere the other night I took her hands in mine and I said we know you can act mama Yes, but I did not know you could make me laugh. Oh, yeah, I know you could land the joke That's a riot games right there. Yeah. Yeah. She is a riot She's like a sweet soulful performance. I love Kelly Marie Tran Kelly Marie Tran will die for I hope I hope that this is like a
her Phoenix Rising rebirth. I love her. Because the way these fucking geeks and nerds and losers and incels treated that woman. Oh, yeah. No.
During Star Wars. It's crazy. And the infrastructure of Disney and Star Wars not protecting her more. 100%. And what I find to be the perfect sort of inversion of that is that she felt that she was given time and space to come out as queer. Like she did this Vanity Fair interview and she like kind of blurted out that she was like excited to make a movie as a queer person. A queer movie as a queer person. She's like, wait, oh, I've never told anyone that before publicly. Yeah.
The journalist David Canfield, Bless, and the producers of the movie were like, we're going to hold the story until you decide what you want to do with this. And then she came out, made that decision, and then has felt nothing but love and support ever since. And I'm like, that is the perfect panacea to that crazy, crazy experience of Star Wars, which I'm like, now it just seems like
It's not quaint in retrospect at all. That is, it still remains crazy to me in terms of that scale and that outreach. But I'm like, we've all kind of experienced that here in some degree too, where I'm like, God, what is...
And this is the thing that Matt has said. It's like, it's bad. The culture is bad because the political climate sucks and therefore people exercise any kind of control or will over the culture, over what they consume. And so I'm like, I'm so glad Kelly has this moment to come out of that and be like, oh, now I know what it's like to be held and loved for who I am. She's really fantastic in the movie. And it's also like, I did the Q&A. There was a special screening last night. I did a Q&A with Andrew and the cast and they...
One thing that I was noticing is she's got so many individual relationships to play. She's really like, it's a true ensemble, but she is the lead. Andrew is such a fucking wonderful collaborator. He allows every performer to put so much. And I can tell, I just know knowing him and having worked with all of you two, like I was watching the movie and I was like, well, that's Bowen.
That was Bowen. And there's a beautiful silent moment between Lily Gladstone and Kelly McShann that came from them. Andrew collaborated with them. This scene that has no dialogue that is one of the most beautiful scenes. And that came from them. And the fact that Andrew allows space for that in his films. I mean, you guys remember Fire Island was just sort of like... There was so much connective tissue there. And one thing I was noticing is the theme...
and like this of Polaroid pictures and family photos. Like my compliment to him that I'll say now on the podcast is I feel like I could walk into the house of the wedding banquet 'cause the house where they live is also a character.
And I say that in an annoying section. The city is the fifth woman way. Which it is. I just mean the house is this beautiful landmark, but it's more than that. I feel like I could walk into that house and know where everything is. And I feel like as a director, his sense of place and his sense of community within an environment is so strong. And he's so...
He's so gifted at creating atmosphere. Yeah. Can I say though, Matt, unfortunately, like intent doesn't always...
relate to impact. So you're saying it not to be annoying. - But unfortunately I was super annoying. - We decide if it was annoying. - Go ahead and say, was it annoying or not? - No. - Oh, great. I was nervous there for a second. - No way. - I was shaking my boots. - Personally, can I say too, I had a really emotional moment when I went to the premiere and the big poster was on the screen. And it was the first time I'd ever seen
From the director of Fire Island. And it made me feel so like… I was like, oh, that is kind of forever for a sec. Well, at least like… It's still alive in that way. And there's like a… I don't know. A legacy now. Like our movies are sisters. Like in a lot of ways. But it's that quote in the studio. In that part of the studio that Catherine O'Hara says. Where it's like…
If you make a great movie, it's great forever. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's the beauty of film. And let me, I'm going to say this and I don't care. We're masturbating. I don't care that we're masturbating. But like somebody posted a photo of a bootleg DVD that they had created of Fire Island and I reposted it and everyone thought I was mad about the movie. No. No, baby, please bootleg the film. Okay. Yeah.
We need physical media. Yeah, we actually do need physical media. Yeah, because I'm... Like, the way it's living on streaming and, like, at the whims of Disney and whatever tax breaks they might be looking for at any given moment is so scary to me that I'm like, I need you all to disseminate. Like, it would be currency in the new world. Absolutely. Do you know what I actually did? Like, not recently, but not a long time ago. Like, someone...
I hadn't even thought about I Love That For You in a while. But I was like, you know what? It's been like a couple years since I've watched it. Let me just like watch it. I was with a couple friends. Now you can't even watch it. You have to buy it on iTunes.
You can't stream it. They did write it off as a tax thing. That's crazy. And you can't watch it anywhere. They did such great work and then it gets written off like a fucking tax write-off. And that happens all the time now in the era of streaming, which I guess we thought we really had it good there for a while because we did. I mean, Netflix, thank you so much for completely changing the contours of our entire industry for the worse in many ways. And also, please buy my shit. Ha ha ha ha ha.
It's like I guess if it hadn't been them, it would have been somebody. You know what I mean? That's I guess the thing is it's like that's the way the industry was going to change. You know what I was thinking about the other day was the Quibi of it all. Like Quibi like failed so spectacularly. Like we both had shows like launch with it. But the idea wasn't wrong. No, because listen, my boyfriend works for a Chinese-owned company.
and has meetings with China over there all the time. And TikTok in China is much different than TikTok over here in some ways, because all they're doing is creating now narrative content that is broken down into five to 10 minute chunks over time. - AKA Quibi. - AKA Quibi. - AKA Quick Bytes. And it's taking off like wildfire in China and it will be modeled over here eventually. He was just too early. And I think the pandemic kind of fucked it up. - Well, the pandemic certainly fucked it up. - And the lack of ability to make stuff viral.
was really what killed it. The lack of being in conversation. You couldn't have a good screenshot. You're right. That was a huge, I remember we had to completely, Game Show had to completely rely on like what the social was. And I was like, sure, but like you don't know what's going to be. And if Ever Ross Katz isn't taking screenshots of it, honey, and posting about it, then we ain't talking about it. Ever Ross Katz wasn't even
born at the time. There was no Evan Ross Katz to screenshot this stuff. That's how K-dramas are too, apparently, because Gijan was saying, Han Gijan, Wedding Make-A-Wish, fantastic. He's so good. Huge fine. Huge fine. So good. What a rivalry. I know. Amazing. I was saying, like, one of my favorite moments of the whole movie is, well, this is a spoiler, but there's a moment of like,
pure joy and euphoria that he has towards the end of the movie. Future legend. So sweet. But he comes from this whole pedigree of K-dramas where they just... It's basically a movie...
It's like what Fire Island would have been on Quibi, but they break it down into these 10-minute episodes. It's really, that is the future in a scary way. They were without a... I genuinely believe that one of the reasons why we even talk about all of these things is because there was a piece of content to launch it. With Netflix, the reason why they became a prestige streamer was because of House of Cards. And then...
Orange is the new black solidified. The reason why we talk about. Kevin Spacey out the door. Yes. Oh my God. He's coming in. Coming in. It's our surprise guest, Kevin Spacey. And then like even HBO, like the Sopranos and Sex and the City, like made HBO. So it's, Hoobie was without a flagship, flagship,
piece of content. Because they went for, you know, and this is not even to drag what we were doing, but like stuff that felt like Quick Bytes. No. And the thing is, though, I will say is they took big swings. Like no one wanted to buy Fire Island. No one. Before it was a completed project at Quibi. Right. No one wanted that. No one would touch it. Yeah. It was originally a Quick Byte. Yeah. And then they were the only ones who really believed in it as a project. And like,
Yeah, so I owe Jeffrey Katzenberg my fucking life. I remember walking from our game to the office that Dave and I shared at Jack's over to your office and watching Joel put like the index cards up on the board and they had the Fire Island plot points when he was still creating it as like a 10 episode. I mean, it didn't change much from Quibi by the way to Searchlight. I basically just took out the act breaks and like
squeezed it together and made it one big long script. But yeah, no, it didn't really change. - But they would have made you cast like George Clooney as Conrad. - No, I mean, we basically had like a full cast of like, Bowen was always attached to it. Like, I think you probably were even, 'cause we were getting ready to film. - We were getting ready to film. - I remember who my Charlie was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So it was like, we were there and then I don't know,
it just, it all changed. Okay, wait, because did you, now did you see, I think it was like Gay Times or something and now it was like talking about the Fire Island sequel conversation again. I want this on record. Can we have to put it to bed? No, he was pushed in the interview about the sequel and I think he was forced to give an answer and then they of course ran with it. Yeah, no.
Yeah, no, I guess. Listen, no, we've all been fucked over by like pull quill headlines before. I think everyone has been asked about that. I'm not really that mad about it. But the thing is, it's like, it's just. It's not happening. Let's talk about Legally Blonde 2, honey. Let's talk about Legally Blonde 2. First of all, Legally Blonde 2, Red, White, and Blonde. We can skip it because now there's going to be another one. Legally Blonde 3 is the real sequel. Yeah, no, but it's just like, let's talk about successful comedy sequels, especially rom-com sequels.
I think people think they want to see it, but they don't actually want to see it. Like, I think what I want to do and what will scratch that- - "Neighbors 2," it's the rare sequel that approves of the original.
But like, I think like, I just want to cast the same fucking people in the same movie. Do Christopher Guest and just have like my own solo letter. Okay, so do it. And you'll be hearing from my own way. That's what I had heard. No, I mean, listen, I do still think Fire Island 2 Provincetown is a funny title. But I mean, there was that summer we were workshopping a lot of ideas about how to like,
how do they like reintroduce Dex, like Zayn. - Zayn's character, yeah. - And I also had an idea that me and Tomas' podcast exploded and we were rich. And so that Dex was kind of a grifter and dating me for my money. My huge podcast empire money. - I can't remember whose idea it was that we just cast him as a different character and we're like, "Doesn't he look like every guy?" - But Wickham remains in the story.
That Zayn Phillips looks like every gay guy is crazy. No, he certainly does not. He certainly doesn't. Sweetheart, sweetie. Going to be, well, no. But there's going to be a little reunion coming up. You know, we might be working together again. I love him. He's such good energy. Such good energy. So funny, so nice. And it's so annoying.
It's so annoying to look like that and to be smart and charming and nice. And truly a kind creature. A dork. Reader. Not capital R reader. Reader of literature. He was always reading on set.
He was always, I remember my image of Zayn. Eating chicken breast and reading. My image of Zayn will always be, I would come out of my trailer and we would have like this like bench area where we would always sit and he would be eating his chicken, drinking a hot coffee and doing the crossword. Yeah. And that was always his thing. And that's who he is on the inside. Ignore what you're seeing on the outside, honey, because that is not him. That's not him. That is not him. It gets easier when you're around him a long time. No, it does. I will say though, like,
It is genuinely like, I remember filming our meet cute moment in the movie and being humiliated. It's so scary. Like what? And what will happen now that he's in LA, this has happened three or four times. It is so infuriating. We'll be at one of these like stupid gay parties and some guy will like come up and like, we'll be standing in a club next to Zayn and he'll introduce himself and I'll be like, hi, I'm Joel. And like, he'll go around the line and get to Zayn and be like, oh my God, you are the guy from Fireworks.
by her island. And I'm like, standing there, paid fucking dust. And I am like, it is, I was like, I fucking made you and I will end you too. Brought you into this world. Wait, wait, let's just speak on this. Cause I experienced this recently of getting the nerves when you're acting with a hot person. Oh, not that it does it. It happens all the time, but certain people really fuck your shit up where I was like, when Jon Hamm was hosting SNL, I was just like,
Like, we were playing a couple, and I was just like, wait, I'm scared. Like, this is, like, this is, like, I'm, this is, and he's, there's no reason to, no reason to feel nervous around him. Just such a wonderful person. But I was just like, wait, but you're so, first of all, you're Don Draper. Second of all, you're so handsome. Third of all, you're so funny. Like, just so many wonderful things about that man. And sometimes it knocks me off my center. It knocks, it,
For me, I was just, and like, trust me, I've seen what people have said about it. Like, of course, this guy cast this guy to be like, to make out with. But like, no, you do think, you do take yourself out of it a little bit. And suddenly those little, your inner saboteur comes knocking. And you're like, what are people going to say when they see this? Right. You know. But it's not even that. It's just like, there's something in the space of acting with someone that,
Where you're just like, oh. I mean, I genuinely thought that way. The reason we cast Conrad is because Conrad made me forget my life in our chemistry. I was so flustered because he is such a vibe. Like, I mean, a hot man, like on paper, just physically pictures. Yes, it reads. He's very hot. But then you get with him and like that close to him. And it's just like,
the nerves are like, it's crazy because he is so charismatic and such a vibe and like gravitational field is distorted. He's great. Uh, want nothing for the best for all of you except for one person. Is it me? I won't say who? I won't say who. No, it wasn't you. Is this real? No.
- No, no, no. - I was like, but no, we all love you. - Everyone's family. - Everyone's family. - That chain stays living. - Yeah, the chain is alive for birthdays. The chain is alive for when someone- - Runs into someone. - Does something exciting. - Yes, that's true. - I will say, so we were briefly evacuated during the LA fires. John Michael was like, we should, the night before,
And I live in an area that is normally not affected by fires at all. And he was like, we should pack go bags. And I was like, okay, like thinking this is never going to affect me. I don't need to do this. So I just packed a go bag with my passport and my social security card, which apparently is not enough. Yeah, I was going to ask. No, and nothing else. And then the next day I drive to San Diego for a gig and I get the evacuation notice. And he said, don't worry, babe. I grabbed your go bag before we went. And I went, but did you look inside of it?
And he said, no, why would I need to? And of course, this is an impasse that you get to with your partner where you're like, I'm mad at you, but I know I have no, I have no standing legally in a court of law. I have no standing. You told me to pack the bag. I did not pack any underwear, toiletries or anything. So he just grabbed an empty bag. He just grabbed the empty bag. But what he did decide in a moment of panic to grab was,
the GLAAD Award and the Gotham Award. - Oh my God. - The cutest thing. - So sweet. - He was like, "I don't know. I just thought like maybe you might want these, like if something happened to the house."
This is so funny. But not any underwear or toothpaste. I'm sorry, but like we do sit at home alone and play the newlywed game just to practice because. Just to practice. I get it. Because the, and the, and the real strategy here is it's not about answering what you really feel. It's about answering how you think your partner will answer. It's a mentalism game. I was going to say it's a mentalism game. There was a mentalist at the screening last night and he blew my mind. Anyway, we'll keep talking about this.
No, I think we're done. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. But no, I was just going to say, because like he, he, he knows that if someone asked, what is Joel's favorite movie? Obviously, that's a ridiculous question to ask. Like crazy. Who has it? Like if you have a favorite movie, I don't think so, honey, like grow up. But,
he knows the answer is My Best Friend's Wedding. And I know the answer for him is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. And so now when you're put in the situation where you have to play the newlywed game, you know. Speaking of being a newlywed, do you have something to ask? Do you have something to ask us? Fuck the culture awards. Here's the real announcement for the pod. Here's the real thing. I was not brought on to promote Love Hotel. I was not brought on to promote anything else. I was brought on for this announcement and this announcement alone after years away.
These two, let's get tactile. Let's get tactile. Don't forget me in the circle. Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers are in my wedding. Yeah! That's me. That's me.
We're so excited. Can we say what we're planning on doing? Not when. Not when, but... NOLA. NOLA. We're doing joint bachelor parties, separate houses. So smart. Oh, is it separate houses? Separate houses. And then we've joined together for one night. Oh, got it, got it, got it. And then the rest of the time, we just get to be...
- For the last time with our friends before we never see each other. - Before you can never sleep with anyone again. - Yeah, right.
- Yeah, I know. I'm really excited. You know, we're not finding out what the other person is wearing to the wedding until the day of. - What? - That's beautiful. - It's really cute. And what's happening is my stylist is coordinating. - Oh, I was gonna say. - To make sure that we don't look insane. And then also coordinating with whatever you guys, 'cause it's sort of gonna be like a free for all. Like you were wearing- - But Chris is gonna tell us like things. - He will just like, I will send you like color palette probably and just like live within that world. But like,
Yeah, I'm not going to be precious about like everyone wears matching. Thank you. Because my biggest gripe with weddings is
There's such a single use fashion aspect to it. It's like award shit. It's like, oh, what do you mean I can only wear this once? You know? Yeah. That is true. So thank you for, so we can like go from our own closet. Yeah, you can pull from the closet. What colors are you thinking? I don't know yet. He wants me to do the mood board. Because it's a December wedding. I kind of want it to be like, well, obviously, like he's going to probably wear white and I'll probably wear black because I'm the boy and he's the girl. But,
But I do sort of, and this actually came to mind watching your film, is I would love to reference a traditional Korean wedding outfit. But like not the full geish. The full geish but like some embroidery. But something that is like a reference to that. Because I do want to have that in my wedding. Yeah. So that's sort of where I'm at right now. And we'll see. I have no idea what that boy is planning for his wedding.
I will be coming in a traditional handbox. Handbox. Did I say it wrong? No, no. You said it great. You said everything perfectly. Perfectly.
- I think I would slay the humbug. - Yes. - Slay the humbug. - Gosh, but you know, Kim Chi at the premiere, I got to tell her to her face, I was like, your ball challenge is still- - Absolutely. - Your book ball challenge is- - Legendary stuff. - Still one of the best drag race, fun race ever. - The premiere Slay-shun Diva of LA. - Slay-shun? - The premiere Slash, she's making a Joella joke. - I'm referencing Joella.
I have to say I didn't watch this last season. We can talk about it. It feels less urgent to watch it. I would agree. And yet also more in a weird way. The ratings keeps, you know, it's feeling more and more distant for me. I mean, I still watch it live when I can, when I have the chance. But it is like,
It does feel less like urgent. Like I used to be like, if I am not there seeing it, like in that moment, like I am offline. I am not, you know, like so scared of spoilers. And now it just doesn't feel, it doesn't feel honestly quite fresh.
as much for us. Do you want to know why? It's because here's what it was for for us and this is why we really loved it. Obviously, the queens were incredible and they were all like aspirational and older than us and smarter. Like, it felt like they were funnier and smarter than us. Not to say the girls aren't giving now, but we're literally older than everyone on the show now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also another thing is we were watching it at a time when it was very community building for us. Yes. Monday nights at a gay bar. We got older and the show is just, unfortunately, like I'm really excited for people to discover the show in the later seasons because unfortunately, I think what has happened is that you see these queens and they're all very talented and
And this is not to take away, but it has become sort of like, oh, that's your, that's Jinx. Yeah. That's just new Jinx. Yeah. And that's just new her. And that's like giving Simone. And that's like, that's why Simone actually is my favorite of the new recent winners. Of the newer batch of winners. I would agree. Simone feels like she created a new lane archetype for herself. And that, and that's,
I don't know that any of the other recent winners have quite done that in quite a distinct way. They're all wonderful. I love them. Huge Nymphia fan, huge Willow fan. - Yeah. - Sasha, Colby. - Sasha, Colby, amazing. And that's not to take away from that, but let's be honest, when we went to DragCon, Drag Race is for, and this is not a pejorative,
No. Drag race is for Katie's now. It's not a pejorative at all. I thought you were going to say kids. No, no, no. And I will say like, it did become like, it was interesting because now I'm like, now with everything changing again, I'm like, cause I remember we were at the drag con promoting Fire Island and there were so many children. Yeah. And now it's like, they're really trying to divorce them.
and queer identity at all from exposure to kids or whatever. And I'm like, how could you not say this is a positive thing? Even if me, as a true faggot who misses when there was lube commercials on Logo watching Drag Race, I do miss that rawness of it and the aspirational quality of what they were doing in terms of like,
I'm entering into the queer community and learning so much about this. I still was there. And I'm like, you know what? These kids are empowered to be anything they want to be. And there was nothing weird about it. There was nothing ugly about it. There was nothing sexual about it, which is what they're trying to like, make it all seem like,
It's like a grooming center. And it's like, it was nothing to do with that. It was only empowering. Even if I felt like, oh, it's for kids now and straight people now, it still felt like we won in the fact that like, this is mainstream culture. And to say like, it's not urgent watching for like the three of us is not to say that it's not an urgently, like no one is happier that Trump won than RuPaul, Charles. Okay. It has made the show so important. So, so important. Um,
In jest. In jest, you know, allegedly. But it is...
It is sort of like... I don't want to talk about the state of the world, really, on this. Let's keep it light. But it does make the show... You watch these shows, and we're so desensitized to it because we've... We've been lucky to have seen it. To see it and lived it. Exactly. But it's exciting that this continues to skyrocket and will continue to be an outlet for these kids. But the other thing that makes it hard to watch sometimes is that it's...
It drastically altered the landscape of what drag in the real world. Yeah. And it created an entire cottage industry that did not exist. Right. That did not exist for drag queens before. The model of what a working drag queen now looks like is so different from what it looked like back…
you know, even 10 to 15 years ago. But that's even changed back in the last couple of years as like spaces close, as like laws start getting put into place. The show is very important. And I have enjoyed the hell out of this season, actually. I just remember Alyssa and Tatiana lip syncing and watching that live in a gay bar and the people reacting. Like you could just... It was so utter joy. Yeah. You know? And like, I just...
I enjoy getting together with my friends and watching. It is a very nice communal Friday ritual, but it's just like, I feel 10,000 years old. Totally. I mean, it's the reason why like survivors development cycle and it's the way that has aged over time is...
Well, they're facing a very similar problem in that the contestants now are so aware of the meta. Totally. The world outside of, they're so concerned about what the narrative is going to be. And they know the game so well. And actually all credit to queens like Corey King, who said in an interview, she worded everything in those confessionals so that they would have to use her.
Oh. She was like, I know the real winner of this show now. This was in confessional. Is who wins the confessional queen of the season. And to be honest, Corey was like fourth or fifth out, but one of the most memorable queens from this season. And has had such a, like, I think was number one on cameo for a while, like afterwards and has like become like sort of like,
the winner of the season. - She's gained it so well. - Yeah, yeah. And she knew going in how to do that. And all credit to her, all love and power to her, but it is also like, it makes it less- - About the show. - About the show. I don't know. It's just like, it's like a different game than it was when, you know, Jinx won.
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What have been your personal journeys with therapists?
We need to be coached throughout our lives. My mom wanted us to be independent children. And she would always tell me, stop worrying about your sister. Having been the first lady of the entire country and representing the country in the world, I couldn't afford to have that kind of disdain. What would you say has been the most hardest recent test?
Those were some callers from my call-in podcast, Therapy Gecko. It's a show where I take real phone calls from anonymous strangers all over the world...
as a fake gecko therapist and try to dig into their brains and learn a little bit about their lives. I know that's a weird concept, but I promise it's pretty interesting if you give it a shot. Matter of fact, here's a few more examples of the kinds of calls we get on this show. I live with my boyfriend and I found his piss jar in our apartment.
I collect my roommate's toenails and fingernails. I have very overbearing parents. Even at the age of 29, they won't let me move out of their house. So if you want an excuse to get out of your own head and see what's going on in someone else's head, search for Therapy Gecko on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the one with the green guy on it.
What I was going to say about Survivor, though, is that, like, that can age in a way that, like, somewhat linear. Like, more people, like, discover the show and retroactively get into it. But it's like, no one was ever really going to bars to, like, meet up with their friends to watch Survivor necessarily. Which is weird because you know what?
Now they are. Tonight, actually, they are. We can even go to Tri Tops tonight to watch it. They have a great watch party that they do every week. But I'm saying, like, with Drag Race starting out like that and now with that dissipating as people get older, as people don't go out as much with COVID, whatever, like, all these reasons, it's like,
It has lost some of that binding agent and that's not the show's fault. No. But Survivor is funny because like Survivor is huge with nerds and gays. Yeah. Nerds and gays and that is who is reflected in the casting too. Yeah. And gay nerds. Like,
And sometimes I get lost watching it because these people know the game so well. It's so crazy. That they have to throw 8 million twists into every episode. And if you don't watch it with your full brain, you miss a lot of it. It can't be ambient. It can't be ambient. No, it cannot. Drag Race can be ambient, which I appreciate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, I mean, the way I will put on, I've watched certain seasons of "Drag Race" like dozens of times probably at this point, because it is just like- - Season eight, season nine, season 10. - It's just on. - Those go down. - Put it on. - You know, like the all-star season's also really exciting. I mean, really excited about it.
this insane Survivor-esque All-Star season that's about to come out. - Wait, what is that? - I'm not sure. - Of Drag Race? - Of Drag Race. I'm not sure how much has been announced, but it's 18 queens. And I will say that the format from what I have read, the scuttle online is that the format might mirror a certain other reality. - Did you see Bob the Drag Queen was like All-Stars is for losers?
Yeah, Bob the Drag Queen. But like Bob is one of the few winners or queens from that franchise who can get away with saying that. And like you're sort of like, yeah, okay. You know what though? All Stars is for losers. Like is something a drag queen should be saying. Yes. Totally, totally. And Bob is like one of the last winners who will say like… Yeah, whatever the fuck. Whatever the fuck on that podcast, you know. Because I just had a realization moment. Getting off Twitter and like part of it was… The reason I got off Twitter was…
I was hacked by the Russians and I was away from my account for four days. I had to pay a lot of money to a lawyer to get in contact with Twitter to get my account back. And then I deleted it immediately because I kept a little note of all the things I would tweet.
if I had access to my account. And then I read it back after four days and I said, none of this is used. None of this is edifying. None of this is worthwhile posting. That's incredible that you did this. I was like, I don't need to say this about Ashley Tisdale. Like, why would I say this? Why would I say this? She did nothing. She's done nothing. She's an innocent person. Yeah. And I now have…
Like, it's just like your perspective really does shift. Like, it's so crazy. Like I am not, I am not in the, I try not to be in the comments after years of doing this. You, we all struggle with this. I know. Yes. Yes. But because the thing is, is I know all six reasons why people hate me now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one says it. Me too. No one says anything new or different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all in the same six buckets of reasons why. You're actually right. Yeah, there is between… It's a short list. It's a short… And it's like… God bless it. No one says anything new. I'm like…
There's no new reasons to hate me yet. Except the new strain that I am seeing on some of my videos that come out, like on podcasts such as this, is people being like, his work looks crazy. Why is he getting all this plastic surgery? You have not gotten any more. I haven't even gotten Botox yet, bitch, okay? I'm pushing 40 with rosacea, all right? You will let people know. What about my face is giving filler? That one, I asked the seventh bucket now, is that I've been seeing that happen and I'm sort of like...
Huh. Why do you think that is? That's a function of time, I think. I don't know. I think it's, it's this weird, I think it's a weird, it feels like counterintuitive, like it doesn't feel like these both can be true, but I think it's because I've both, I both look older, but don't look as old as I look. And those two things combined have caused people to confuse people because I do look very much the same as I did 10 years ago. I'm just saying that it's like the hair probably at
throws, there's one thing about framing the face that throws people off and they're like, well, he's gotten work done. It's literally the hair growing out and getting permed. It looks amazing. I wanted to come in here and talk about like fucking White Lotus and I'm like, oh, that's a distant fucking memory. But you know what? Talk about White Lotus. You know, I do want to talk about White Lotus a little bit and say, I think that my take on season three is that
it is a lot of really captivating, wonderful moments that did not coalesce into a whole. - So you were not ultimately a fan of the season? - I enjoyed my experience on a Sunday to Sunday basis of watching each of those episodes. But did I come away thinking like that it all came together at the end?
like as like something meaningful. I don't know that I can say that. Like I enjoyed, I really thought it was high quality performances, really on an episode to episode basis, very good writing and great moments. But the only thing I'm going to take away from that finale is Carrie Coon's monologue. Yeah. The only thing.
I think so. I think so. See, I was so... I'm a huge fan of season three. Like, I loved pretty much every single thing about it. And I feel like the Walton Goggins and Amy Lou Wood storyline, like, to me, it was also so...
personally gratifying because I was like, I was watching it and I sat there and I was like, you can't save broken people. They have to save themselves. They have to work on themselves. It doesn't matter how much you love them. The reason I think I will remember Carrie Coon's monologue and you will remember that is because that is so what you have lived.
And like what you… A lesson you have learned in your own life. What do you mean? Like that… You can't fix broken people. Yes. You know? Like that is a lesson that you have learned the hard way in many ways. And you've connected with the Carrie Coon monologue. No. And the Carrie Coon monologue where she says like… And listen. I do not think that we are as toxic as those three women. We're…
- Thinking about us as them? - No, but I did have this moment. 'Cause like we talked about, let's get raw and real again as sisters. When I asked you to be in my wedding party, like we are dear besties down and we will. And I asked you to be in my wedding party 'cause I know you will be in my life for the rest of my goddamn life. But we're also fucking busy. You live in two different cities practically most of the time. You are the busiest man in Hollywood.
I'm very busy. Like we don't get to do these things. And like, it's so funny when people talk about like why I haven't been back on the podcast. Right, right, right. They assume that there's always beef. They assume there's beef, but it's honestly because like when we do get to hang out, we don't want to do this. We only get so much time to see each other. We don't want to come in and do this when we do it. And, but I, when I asked you to be my wedding party, I said, I know that like we aren't seeing each other like every week, like we used to, and we aren't like, you know, a,
able to go on like all the trips that we used to go on and all these things. But like, when I think about the people in my life that matter to me, it's not necessarily like maybe the people that come to my house every Friday. It's you guys. And like that monologue really resonated because it really does have meaning. And like,
I think that that is like for me it's like being in a relationship and like getting older like both of those things combined like I really you recognize that because you really do have to be intentional about maintaining friendships when you are in a relationship like and it's so hard to do because I am living and about to marry my best friend you know and so like
I think like a lot of the things I used to like need from friendships are being provided. But like,
It's a trick though because like we I don't like we've we've also like been like we need to hang out with our friends without each other mm-hmm like You know like we don't have to do everything. Does that happen more? And it has happened more. Yeah. Yeah, like I you know like We like I was just talking to Jared the other day who shout out I'll announce Jared's also in the wedding but like I was like
He was like, you and James should come over. And I was like, or I could just come over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That might like, that might be nice. It is interesting. It's like, cause it's all about like all of a sudden, because life goes, it does go by quick. Yeah. And then I feel like what was so great about that,
and the arc that the three of them were going through was they will leave that vacation and they'll probably remember two things. The traumatic shooting that they survived. And the fact that they were able to have a great last dinner. And they won't even remember Valentin. They won't remember the bitchy little comments. They won't remember that one of them was a little bit more drunk. They'll remember like this piece of it. And they'll remember how their relationship like
got better and now has this, like, memorable, like, trauma bond moment again. And that's when life goes by like that. And then she's saying, like, you look at your choices. It's because it's the people that have been there for a really long time that you can see in different stages of your life. And then you can say, wow, like, I...
have made choices to be this person who I'm sitting here right now. And now I'm sitting with two other people who are also have gone through the same amount of time and the same amount of development, but in a different way. Like here you are about to get married. You know what I mean? Like you have a certain type of career, which is like, you know, keeps you busy and is in the stratosphere all the time. And sometimes like you would think like maybe a third person in that would look at both those things and be like, I'm the Carrie Coon, but we all
at a certain point are feeling like the Carrie Coon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Leslie Bibb. And Michelle. No, you're Michelle, I'm Leslie, and you're Carrie. Well, I mean, you're Leslie. No, no, you're Leslie? No. Yeah, he's getting married. You're getting married. I've now switched. I'm Michelle. And you spend the most time in Austin. Yeah, that's true. And I smile.
And you would rock a country bar. And you're an independent. You probably are the closest to independent. He certainly hates the Democrats the most. That's the headline now. Joke and booster. Hates the Democrats.
No, but I mean, like, it's... I was... It was actually... I can't remember the last time I spontaneously burst out in tears. No, it's a beautiful moment. I actually can. It was when Kiwa Kwan was in Everything Ever All at Once when he was saying, you have to be kind. Like, please be kind. I, like, spontaneously burst out in tears. But I was watching Carrie Coon give that monologue. And I just... I burst into tears because I was just like, it's true. As you get older, like...
it's not about like, what haven't I done or what don't I have? It's like very hard to get to a point where you're like, you know, the things I've done are enough. Like I've tried, you know, to develop myself. Like it's gone this way in a positive way, this way in a negative way, whatever. It all comes out in the wash anyway, when you're still here. My mirror this season is thinking about
He is your father! What does Sreetala say at the end? He told me! I love Sreetala. When we got to see a little bite of her as a young performer. Yeah, which was real footage. Iconic. I mean, also, like, the thing is...
The thing about him being the dad, though, I was like, I said that the minute he said the story that his mom told him to Amy Liu, I was like, oh, well, that guy is going to be your dad. That's the dad. And they cast him very well. I will say that part, I was like, we did see coming from a mile away. And you know what I think would have even been a better reveal? A monkey with a gun. Because...
We all want a monkey with a gun. Here's what I was thinking the whole time. How did Walton Goggins' character afford that vacation? What if it was revealed like he's been a trust fund baby his entire life and actually he isn't this badass. He's just like this like sort of spoiled like straight guy who's like the kind of guy who's like, I'm going to wear like a funky scarf. I've been worried about a lot of the shit that I've said on this podcast so far, but this is like, I don't really care, but like this is why he needs a writer's room because this is one of my biggest problems with the Walter Goggins storyline is I don't know who that man is. I,
I do not know who that man is. And I think we could have gotten to a very funny thing, which is, where the fuck did you think you got all your money from? Like, your dad is the owner of this hotel. Put it up on the board. Put it up on the board. It needs to be an index card. Because literally, how did that couple afford that vacation? And that's the thing. It's not...
super important, but it would have been nice. But you know what? Justification always makes things better. I feel like that is true in writing. Like justifications always make jokes funnier if you can get there and justification always makes like if you can strengthen it, I think it's always better to include it. Well, and that's why I think like for me too, like it's the fact that like the first two seasons
were what they were. And even the third season was as strong as it was. It's a miracle that he did this by himself, that he has that in him to do by himself. But I think like the seams that we're now seeing and the disconnect that we're feeling with the third season is because like, I don't think that one man can continue to play with the same ideas over and over and over again and create something that is going to feel as meaningful as the first time. Yes, there are limits to auteurship that we need to come to grips with.
I don't disagree that that... Because he's not reinventing the show every season. Yeah, no. Well, I actually kind of like that about it, though. I kind of like the formula. Like, the formula for me, like, really works, and I do think that there's been drastically different, like, things that have been said by both... by all three of the seasons. I will say, though, just out of principle, there should be a writer's room on a show like that. That's what we're saying, yeah. Just out of principle, because it is one of the last ways you can, like, apprentice...
great writers and like, you know what I mean? Like get people started in the industry. And this, this has nothing to do with how talented and how brilliant I think he is because ultimately let's be real. All creators and showrunners rewrite all these episodes anyway. Honestly, that would be a huge win. Yeah. For the entire community. Let's give the monkey the gun. Let's, yes. Can I say, I hated it from the beginning. Monkey has the gun. I still hate it. I was a big advocate. I was a big advocate. Y'all are laughing. I'm not laughing. I don't,
I don't think it's funny. I don't think it's funny to think about the monkey with the gun at all. I just didn't think it was going to be as straightforward as it was. It was pretty straightforward. See, I, but for me, it's just like when I saw Amy Liu would unable to run away,
from the toxic man who was going to end badly for her. I was like, I've been her. Totally. And this is an important story. Those are y'all's mirrors for sure. Yes. And you are a famous actress who, Asian actress who married a wealthy white woman. That wasn't really your mirror though. What was your actual mirror? I was going to say my mirror was, I don't know. Is that bad? It's also fine to not have a mirror in the season. Well, let's see.
I am going to say I'm still thinking about Aubrey in season two. Yeah. And see that. But that's not an answer to the question. I probably don't have one for this season. But that just goes to show there's different things being reflected in each of the seasons. I think that, yeah, I don't know. Her character was fascinating. I've been pressuring my therapist into watching White Lotus because she's never watched it. I go in today and she's like, I'm halfway through season two. I fucking love it.
- Oh, good. - She was like, "Season one was amazing." I'm like, "It was." Like, put some respect on season one's name. - Yeah, one's great. - No, one is great. Well, and that, can I just say, I don't want to beat up Mike White too much, 'cause again, I love his work. "Enlightened" is one of my favorite shows of all time. - He's brilliant. We can talk about all this stuff because he's brilliant. - Yeah, because he's brilliant. But like, there was very little, like,
with the staff this season. Yeah. This was the least amount of story, impactful story that we got about the staff. Well, I mean, what was the storyline for the manager? The security guard, Lisa. Can I say the thing with Lisa? I think the reason why the Lisa thing feels weird is because they did not even expect anything
anywhere near a star at her level to want that part. And when she wanted that part, I think part of his hesitance was like, but the character is not consequential enough to justify her. But then she was so good and really wanted to do it. What are they going to do? Say no? I mean, her acting is so grounded. She's great. She's wonderful. And ultimately, I remember we were all like, and there's going to be something with Lisa because there has to be. Why would you cast Beyonce in a show and not have her be like a centerpiece of the finale?
And I think that probably was something that was on his mind during casting. It's like, well, should the role be more? I don't want to just make it more and change the whole thing because it's her. But if she wants to do it and she's good enough. Did you find any mirrors in the family? Are you a Lachlan at all? I might be. I might be a Piper. That's interesting. Someone who wants to individualize and then realizes that they are not going to go to such lengths.
to like, like they have found themselves in the act of trying to find themselves in a different way. And then they swing back the other direction. Like this is not who I am. You also would rather die than be poor.
- Exactly. - I loved her storyline as well. And when she was giving that monologue about like, she was great by the way, Sarah Catherine Hook. - Great vibes. She was my interview on Today Show when I co-hosted. - Oh really? - She's such a cute vibe. - Yeah, she's adorable and she's talented. - And a trained opera singer. - What? - Yeah, at SUNY Purchase.
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What have been your personal journeys with...
We need to be coached throughout our lives. My mom wanted us to be independent children. And she would always tell me, stop worrying about your sister. Having been the first lady of the entire country and representing the country in the world, I couldn't afford to have that kind of disdain. What would you say has been the most hardest recent test?
Those were some callers from my call-in podcast, Therapy Gecko. It's a show where I take real phone calls from anonymous strangers all over the world,
as a fake gecko therapist and try to dig into their brains and learn a little bit about their lives. I know that's a weird concept, but I promise it's pretty interesting if you give it a shot. Matter of fact, here's a few more examples of the kinds of calls we get on this show. - I live with my boyfriend and I found his piss jar in our apartment.
I collect my roommate's toenails and fingernails. I have very overbearing parents. Even at the age of 29, they won't let me move out of their house. So if you want an excuse to get out of your own head and see what's going on in someone else's head, search for Therapy Gecko on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the one with the green guy on it. ♪
Let's touch on Housewives. Oh, I want to pitch my Housewives spin-off. We'll start there. We'll start there in the granular. Here's the show. And this is literally... Consider this a pitch.
Bravo. We're now in business. And he's listening. Kyle goes to Aspen. Kyle starts her life over as a lesbian of the woods. Kyle of the woods. The poster for the show is Kyle in her huge Kimo Sabe hat looking at the camera in the back, the woods. Kyle starts over as a lover of same sex.
in Aspen where she wants to live. I'm sorry. She leaves Beverly Hills. We start the show over. It's her. It's maybe a couple of her friends that come in. It's more like people visit from Beverly Hills to come see her, come in and out. And we see Kyle's new life in Aspen as a queer woman. I will say my only note, my only adjustment, if I'm the executive sitting across the table, I would say we already have a winter landscape.
And that is doing quite well. You know what? I would maybe suggest if you want woods, maybe Pacific Northwest. I was going to say that. Maybe Seattle. Maybe Seattle. And also, I would say the fact that Salt Lake City works as a reason to do it. Interesting. How about this? Kyle of the mountains. Kyle of the woods. Like JT tried to be.
- I like Kyle of the Woods. - I like Kyle of the Woods. Is this- - Kyle of the Woods sounds like a dangerous plant you shouldn't eat. - Oh honey, that's Kyle of the Woods. - Oh, that's Kyle of the Woods. - Don't touch that. - Get that Kyle out of your mouth. - Is this modeled, 'cause I'm not watching the Denise show, is this kind of like the Denise show? - Oh, I like the Denise show, by the way. - I've dipped into the Denise show. I've dipped in. - The Denise show is,
the way that they live their life is so crazy. But yeah, I guess it is. I mean, maybe it doesn't have to be an ongoing thing. I just think maybe like eight episodes of Kyle living in Aspen, like exploring this new part of her personality because I don't think, this is my kind of hot take about Beverly Hills.
It's not there yet for a reboot, but I don't think we're far away. Right? I don't think we're far away at all. It's getting... The self-production on Beverly Hills, I think, is the worst of any of the franchises. Yeah, they're also afraid to say or do anything. Yeah. It's just... It's so... Like, I really... Like, talk about something that didn't coalesce into anything. I don't know.
I'm so sorry, Mike White. I meant to say that. Take that note away from White Lotus. Apply it to Beverly Hills. Because by the end of that reunion, I was exhausted and I wanted to walk out like Garcelle. So Sutton going to Garcelle's room and Garcelle not being there and just being like, she's gone. And that being the way that their friendship ended. Well, I don't know. How do you guys feel about the Garcelle of it all? I didn't watch the third part. I will say I'm only halfway through the third part.
and again didn't feel urgent to finish in the same way that some of these other shows are right now I think that and I just actually presented an award with Garcelle Mettern real life so warm so kind she's been on the show she's great star star
I don't think she has it in her to be a housewife. I don't think she ever liked it. I don't think, like, because she, when the guns were pointed in her direction. She couldn't handle it. I don't even think that she couldn't handle it. She didn't want to do it. Like, she doesn't want to do that. She went a really long time, I guess five seasons, without ever being the person in the hot seat. Yeah.
And like kind of far down on the couch always. And also not for nothing, but for something that I knew when she was saying in the beginning of the season that she was positing the theory that the Dorit robbery was staged. I'm like,
You're going to have to deal with saying that. Stand by that. You will have to stand by that. And then she did, but she hated that they had a problem with it. And it's like, well, of course they're going to have a problem with it. And then you can't walk your way out of the insinuation you're making. You're very baldly making the insinuation. And lots of people did. Sure. And so, like, stand 10 toes down. Like, you know, I... But, like, I just don't know that she, like...
she thinks in that way. She has, she, and clearly doesn't need it in the same way. And that's the difference. That's the difference is that I think like she was working really hard at the beginning, maybe because like it did kind of reignite a lot of things for her, but,
But all those other women, I mean, the reason Dorit is showing up right now and love or hate is because she needs the check. And Garcelle, one thing you can say about her right now is she's leaving not needing the check. She is making lifetime movies good for fucking her. You know, like she doesn't need it. And I think like you could feel that and I want them hungry and desperate and needing it. Right. I mean, Sutton, unwatchable. Kyle, as we know my feelings on Kyle. Erica…
her makeover. The fact that Erica came for Garcelle for not being interesting and Erica's one storyline this season was redoing her fucking living room. I'm sorry. I liked Bo's. I mean, I thought that Bo's like definitely livened things up. I think, yeah, no, she's, she's going to be a major player for a while. You know,
I don't know. It just felt icky. Felt icky. I don't believe that they're friends. And the Kathy sort of runway moment, I was like, that is the most insane thing. We've really let, we've unfortunately, I think we've fed the goose too much with Kathy. The future of the entire housewives empire lies in one woman and one woman alone. And that woman's name is Stacey Rush. Ha ha ha!
But still I rise. Can we go back for a second? I actually believe that the relationship was not real. But I do believe that what she said to him was, this will be really good for you and your business. And then he extrapolated from there that she was paying him to be on the show. You're going to trust him over her? He's clearly unhinged. We've seen him on the show. Like,
It is like, to take his word for anything is actually quite ridiculous. Exactly. I believe Stacey more than TJ. I believe that she's not telling the full story. But that's okay. I think that Bowen has some like,
- I love her. - He's got love blinders on. - I've got tit blinders on. She's got the most amazing- - Famously a boob guy. - Boob gay. - Her boobs are perfect. - When you were saying the future of the franchise, I really thought you were gonna say one word and one word alone, and that is Shamia. - Shamia is so great. - I need to start Atlanta. - You haven't started yet? - I haven't started the season. - Oh, Atlanta's really good. So Atlanta has been, 'cause so Kenya Moore just- - Exited. - Ended herself. - Yeah.
And it's been really, I think it's been a really, really compelling season overall. No, the soft reboot really works. And the thing is- Portia's great on the show again. Portia is great on the show. And I worry, I don't want to see a schism between her and Shamia. And I fear that that is the direction- It's like definitely happening.
But like, Shamia starts the season. Like, she is the center. She's in the center with Portia. No, Shamia is a revolution. And I didn't know she had it like that. No, and what I have since learned is that Bravo has known all along that she has got the juice in that peach. But her husband wouldn't let her be more than a friend of until now. Because I think he did not understand how powerful the show was.
Until now. I honestly, it really is surprising because the first episode, the first scenes of the first episode are all Shamia's amazing home. She starts the season. She's multi-talented. She's got like this very full family, this big full life. Like, and it's just, she's obviously great on camera. So charming. It's like the way that they- Started fights but ended them at the right time.
Yeah, she gives soundbites. She's beautiful. She got fashion. Real money. And she's very connected to everyone already. It's like so surprising that they tried this with Marlo before Shamia. But I guess, yeah, Shamia had like an extenuating circumstance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, yeah, it's just… Yeah, I love it. Portia's doing great. Love Angela. Love Kelly. Yeah, I like Kelly a lot. And again, like the thing is, is that like Kenya really… It's so frustrating because…
Brit is not for the show. You know? I don't know. I can't. I agree with you. The thing is, is like, the threatening her with a gun is crazy. And like, if we didn't know, if we didn't know what was, if we didn't know what was coming with Kenya, the entire audience would have been behind Kenya. But then Kenya takes it to such an extreme level that is unforgivable. Like, you just can't get past it. It's crazy. Also, it's like, it's like,
the look in her eyes when she was doing it, I was like, oh no, you got to deal with stuff. No. Like this is, this is so many other dark things. And can I say too, like the big difference between a lot of what Kenya did and say like, for instance, Portia physically assaulting Kenya at the reunion and still coming back and still being on the show is that with Portia, that was like a heat of the moment in the moment thing that she immediately. Immediate remorse. Immediate remorse. Yeah. It was not a premeditated thing. Kenya's thing was fully, she had to,
She had to go to fucking Kinko's and print revenge porn. She went out of her way. Okay, so we should also say it is not revenge porn because it was not private media. Not legally speaking. Yes. But we should be legally. But it was porn that was being used for shame and revenge. Yes, yes, yes. But I want to protect us legally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Sonny Hostin. Yeah. I have a legal note. Kenya would sue Las Colch. I don't put anything past anyone. Yeah, you're right. It's true.
Do you put things past people? No, never. You've never been one to suffer fools. I don't put anything past y'all. That's your housewives tagline. I don't put anything past anyone except... This is mine. This is mine. I don't suffer fools, but I do suffer joint pain.
Not suffer from, suffer joint pain. - Here's mine. I'm back on the East Coast and I'm doing the most. - Oh, that's actually pretty interesting. - Slant rhyme. - Okay. - East and the, kind of running those words. - Go ahead. - I don't know, 'cause I have my go-to one, but I don't wanna do that one. I do wanna do a new one. And it's like,
I'm from Chicago, so you know I know how to ride the brown line. Wow. Oh, my God. Riding the brown line as a euphemism for gay sex? Riding the brown line is title of that, unfortunately. I'm a powerful woman in this scenario, so you don't know what it means. Right. It means you're a powerful woman taking it in the butt. But what if... Never mind. Yeah, we'll leave it at brown.
Riding the brown light can mean topping. It is verse vocabulary for sure. Well, no one would know. You know, he's coming out as all sorts of things. Bisexual. No, I'm saying that. He's bisexual. I'm Kinsey five, maybe 4.5, but Matt is kind of twisting them into thinking that I'm a top, which I never have identified. I think it will be fabulous for you to try it. Have you ever topped? Yes, I've topped. I've topped. You have. I just don't, I don't wear that as an identity in the world.
in a way that I think is meaningful. - Yeah, I mean. - You know what I mean? - He doesn't watch gay porn and see a mirror of himself in the top. - No, it's always the bottom. - Honestly. - Although I'm back in my, I'm back, back in the gay. - Back on the case.
By the way, still getting subscribers to Matt and Joel's Search for the Next Elwoods. Really? I get notifications every now and then. It is still available on Patreon. Is it actually? It is still available on Patreon. Search for the next Elwoods.
I forgot until I just was listening to it the other day that Patti Harrison herself wrote the theme song. Thank God for COVID. There's the headline. Thank God for COVID that Patti had nothing to do and we had nothing to do better than to make this podcast and Patti was free enough and the only time she'll ever be free again to write the theme song for our podcast. Wait, so if we're still getting subscribers does that mean people are still paying? I made it free. Oh, you made it free. Yeah, now it's free. Okay, because I was going to
I was like, the big scandal would be that we've accrued like thousands of dollars that we said was going to charity.
It's now free. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good for everyone. Cousin of the Week is still one of the great podcast segments of all time. Cousin of the Week was good. Okay. Let's do Cousin of the Week. You still referenced it in general? Cousin of the Week was a segment on... Matt and Joel on the Search for the Next Elwes. Matt and Joel on the Search for the Next Elwes where we said which of the girls was Cousin of the Week who was giving the most cousin energy. I have one. Who's your Cousin of the Week? And again, this is all going to be dated, but my Cousin of the Week is congratulations on your opening sister, Hailey Steinle.
She's cousin of the week. She is cousin of the week because of that flame dress. Yeah. And we won't say why. Yeah. But that dress is cousin. This is the Haley Steinfeld Stan podcast. I believe she's the queen of pop. I do need her to release more music. Capital letters. I will jam. First of all, don't even get me started on. You want to go high.
Which is that song. But also, there's, what's the, hell knows and headphones. I love that. Where she's at the party slut shaming people. I love that. Oh, yeah. She did a song for the Bumblebee movie. The Transformers spin-off Bumblebee called Back to Life. Which is actually excellent. Really? I need to see that. Bumblebee is excellent? It's really close to number 18. Bumblebee is excellent? Watch it on a plane and you'll get your life back.
I love it. Okay. It's small. It's a small, it's a character piece. Yeah. And Haley carries. Always does. All right. Yeah. My cousin of the week is Megan Fahey in Drop. I can't wait. Because now my cousins have kids and they love their kids so much. And Megan Fahey in Drop was so determined to save her child. And if you haven't seen Drop, it's really, really good.
Wow. No, you would love it. Oh, I know. Do you want to know why? It's because it's just like Red Eye. Oh, that is... Someone else said that to me today. Yeah. It's really fun. Jeffrey Self is great in it. Megan's amazing. Like, she should be...
movie star down. Megan being spiritually linked to Rachel McAdams feels so correct. Yes, and at the time, Rachel McAdams was my cousin of the week. That's right. Here's a go. And so I would say cousin of the week, and also because I do feel we could play cousins, my cousin of the week is Megan Fahey and drop. Who's your cousin of the week? My cousin of the week is...
is I did not really see a moment of this but it just I felt the cousin energy was Addison Rae showing up at the Argus set at Coachella I was like I love that for her yeah she's always gonna be a cousin to me yeah she gives cousin in that like I'm always like
she's got stuff going on. I don't know about it. Exactly. You know, and I'm happy for her. Of course. You know, when I see the updates scroll on by, but like, I don't know what she's going on. I don't know what she's going on. My cousin Addison is doing things. Right. What they are, I couldn't tell you. Oh, she shot a music video in Paris. Oh,
But if you know exactly what your cousins are doing right now, grow up. Grow up. I don't know what they're doing. But I will say- People who are close to their cousins? No. That could be an I don't think so, honey, for me. Oh. Frankly. You know who else kind of was giving cousin when she came out Weekend One? By the way, the Charlie set at Weekend One of Coachella was Billy, Troy, and Lorde all came out, which was only bested by Megan Thee Stallion's set, which saw Victoria Monet, Queen Latifah-
And Ciara. Wow. They did goodies. Good luck booking that stage. She finally booked that stage. She booked that stage that she spoke of. That stage that she spoke of. But Lorde was kind of giving cousin energy.
good. Lorde kind of gives because and you're one of Lorde's biggest fans. Biggest fans. I will say that like especially She announced her new single. I saw that. I saw that. I'm so excited. It'll probably be out by the time. It's called What Was That? Yeah. Oh my god. You know I love that sentence. Wait, literally, I get texts from Lorde. Look, Lorde.
- Because I signed up for the mailing list. I love looking down on my phone and seeing that Lauren texted. - Seeing that Lauren texted you. - My new song, "What Was That?" out soon. - Wendy Williams, of course. - I hope she samples. I hope she samples. - I hope she samples. - Oh my God, look, and there's single art. - She gave Cousin Energy in that she was finally, for the first time in a while, she was the elder cousin in that lineup of people. - Yes, she was the elder cousin. - She was the elder cousin. And like,
You know, it's like that thing where it's like, yeah, I just like, cause she for so long was the youngest in the entire extended family. - Yeah, she really was. - And now that we're a little bit older, we're like, welcome. Welcome. Yeah. Welcome in. - Okay. Well, by the way, I just pre-saved "What Was That?" on Spotify. It's probably out by now when we put this out, but I'm really excited. - The first- - We need a powerful Lorde era. - Absolutely. And I was going to say, we have needed a huge song in pop that ends with the word "that."
I still think about the impact of why did you do that? I can't stop thinking about it. One of the titles of Joel's episodes. Why did you do that to me? How have our thoughts on Star is Born sort of developed since that episode? I think the movie is even better. It's even better. I'm sorry to say...
that after Gaga hosted, I was like, I need to fucking dig into this bitch once again. Yeah, so good. And I just, the first 20 minutes of that fucking movie, the whole movie is amazing. It took you to the Garden of Eden. It took me to the Garden of Eden. And I mean, she's so damn good. So good. Like, I forgot about the moment where they're at the bar at the beginning. She was like, I'm here with Jackson Maine. Like,
I don't know what's going on. Like the way she, her line where they're like, I don't even know what's going on right now. I'm like, that's so sweet. We love Gaga. Love Gaga. Love Gaga. Okay. What about you? Stars Born. Stars Born. You know, I haven't revisited. I just talked about it recently though. Cause I was talking about how,
she was so wasted in Joker too. Like why cast her in that role? And why do bad singing? Why cast Lady Gaga to be a bad singer? Like it doesn't, like it seems like such a waste. Like Gaga as a singular entity will forever be iconic as a musician, as a pop star, as a person of the culture and as an actress. But I do think after seeing the penguin, you could slot Christine. - Kristen. - Kristen Milioti.
into any role that Gaga has ever done. - Oh my God. - And it would be better. - Oh my God Joel, you are- - Except for "Stars Born". Except for "Stars Born". - Right. - Except for "Stars Born".
Wow. I know she was, I know you're close personal friends now. No, no, no. But you just want Kristen Milioti to work more. We all want that. I just think she is so brilliant. You guys did not watch the penguin. I watched the penguin. You did watch the penguin. I watched the penguin. She's amazing. I came on here and said, sang the praises. That is the way you, in this world where we cannot sell anything that is not connected to an existing IP,
Like, that's the way you do it. Oh, yeah. You sneak in. Like, women's. The Penguin is not a story about the Penguin. It is about women. And women's stories matter. Women's stories matter. They wrapped up women's stories in a fucking penguin piece of cheese. Superhero piece of cheese. And fed it to these boys that didn't know what was about to happen.
And Colin was amazing. And Colin, yes, no. And that's not to discount Colin's performance. It was incredible as well. But like, I was so impressed with that show because you could have never, you could not know what Batman is and enjoy the shit out of that show. Absolutely. And in fact, I had to convince many people who were like, I don't want to watch a Batman show. It's not a Batman show. And it's not a Batman show. Simply not. It's a show about women. Yeah. But can I say...
Gaga would have been great in Penguin. - Yes, she would have. - She would have. No, no, it's true. Maybe not better. Maybe that's not the verbiage I want to say, but like, I do think that like- - You're seated for either of them. - You wanted Kristen Milioti in House of Gucci. - Yes, that's I think what I'm okay. That's the note behind the note. - I want House of Gucci too with Lady Gaga. - Right.
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Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
What have been your personal journeys with...
We need to be coached throughout our lives. My mom wanted us to be independent children. And she would always tell me, stop worrying about your sister. Having been the first lady of the entire country and representing the country in the world, I couldn't afford to have that kind of disdain. What would you say has been the most hardest recent test?
On Fear. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating. I don't feel emotions correctly. I am talking to a felon right now, and I cannot decide if I like him or not. Those were some callers from my call-in podcast, Therapy Gecko. It's a show where I take real phone calls from anonymous strangers all over the world,
as a fake gecko therapist and try to dig into their brains and learn a little bit about their lives. I know that's a weird concept, but I promise it's pretty interesting if you give it a shot. Matter of fact, here's a few more examples of the kinds of calls we get on this show. - I live with my boyfriend and I found his piss jar in our apartment.
I collect my roommate's toenails and fingernails. I have very overbearing parents. Even at the age of 29, they won't let me move out of their house. So if you want an excuse to get out of your own head and see what's going on in someone else's head, search for Therapy Gecko on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the one with the green guy on it.
Like, I can't get enough of... I can't get enough of House of Gucci. You know, best supporting actress in House of Gucci. Salma Hayek. Salma Hayek will do the goofiest shit. She will... She is down to clown. I'm ready to do I Don't Think It's Money.
This is I Don't Think So Honey. This is where we take one minute to go off on something in culture. Matt has something he is ready and rearing to go. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, not enough utilization of the icon Salma Hayek in media across television,
I would love to hear the album. We need Salma Hayek's Pino's debut album. By the way, House of Gucci, we needed the lesbian scene with Lady Gaga and Salma Hayek. I'm saying it now in the year of the Lord, 2025. We needed that. I don't think so, honey, that we didn't get it and they shot it. Where's the deleted scenes? Bring back DVDs. That's another topic. I don't think so, honey. The Marvel movie they tried to do with all of them and they kill Salma Hayek. Oh!
off right away. Oh, Eternals. Eternals. No, I guess not. I guess very, very temporary. The opposite of eternal. And I don't think so, honey, that we talk about Salma Hayek in this casual way. You should be bowing down to Salma Hayek. Salma Hayek has impact that we're not even understanding or recognizing and we need to change that. I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. Just a little like
Asterisk to your I don't think so, honey, is that like, I don't think so, honey, Marvel changing the line reading. In the original trailer for The Eternals, you can clearly hear Thelma Hayek say, and we've talked, I think we've talked about this on the pod before, Thanos. When Thanos, you know, and she says it like that. And then we go and watch the film. We sit down for the film. Me and my life partner go down and sit for this film, excited to hear the line reading. Thanos. Thanos.
And they changed it. To Thanos? They changed it to Thanos. They made her go back and say Thanos? They made her go back into the ADR booth and say Thanos. I've got it. I don't think so, honey. Let's go. This is an exciting moment. I was going to do it on zippers, but I'm like, I got nothing. All right. This...
This is Bowen Yanks. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. ADR. And this coming from an ADR legend. I slay the ADR booth because guess what I'm doing? I'm matching tone. I'm matching acoustics. I'm matching lip flaps. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes we stumble on our words and sometimes the audience doesn't have to understand us. Sometimes you can just cut around. You lose the whole damn line. ADR sometimes, I don't mind it, but...
Sometimes they count you in and they sink it in wrong. Sometimes it's just... Sometimes it's humiliating, you see. I don't want to see my fuck-ups up close. 15 seconds. Maybe it's okay to sit with that. Maybe it's okay to not go back in the booth. Because you know what? I, like Sandra Bullock, crumple in... Five seconds. I'm not good at voiceover in general. And ADR is my one safe space, but now I'm ready to let that go because I don't think it's worth it. And that's one minute. I also...
I've never not noticed it. Exactly. I notice it every single time. And I, I'll, I'll go into do ADR and I'll be like, I'll, I'll see what the issue is. And I'll be like, so you think it's better to do obvious ADR over this? It's something about the post process that I don't,
And when ADR is obvious, it drives me nuts. Sometimes it's necessary. And listen, you get moments like Thanos. You get moments like Thanos. First of all, who's to say it's not actually pronounced Thanos? Yeah.
On different planets and different galaxies? I think it's very American that they did that. Well, it is like, I think that they saw, because there was like a little bit of, it was a little viral for that reason. And I think that they were like, this is a serious film. Okay, that is ridiculous. First of all, here's my question. Do we think, and this is my question to you, someone who's seen Eternals. What?
Was her performance in the moment where she said Thanos like so stunning that they felt like they had to use the Thanos take and maybe she said Thanos eight other times, but they just didn't like those takes? I don't know. I believe that Salma Hayek gives a brilliant take every time. I mean, comedic... I think if Salma is like...
independently wealthy in a way that like she, the reason we don't see Selma is because Selma does not want to be seen. Doesn't need to work. Yeah. She picks and chooses the weirdest things. Like that Black Mirror episode she did. Oh, I love that episode. It's so incredible. It's so incredible. But like, I'm sitting there watching it and I'm like,
How did they get her? How did they get her to do this? I think it's an opposite thing. I don't think people go to her enough. I think people just assume that she's comfortable. Yeah. I think people should roll the dice more on Salma. I think filmmakers need to shoot their shot with Salma more. She is like, she's so willing to do big things
Like, take big comedic swings, big character choices. Oscar-nominated actress. Yeah. Forget. Incredible. Incredible. 30 Rock, legendary. Oh, so good. Like, one of the best of all time guest stars, reoccurring guest stars on that show. And she was one of the best parts of House of Gucci. And almost...
I would say all of his girlfriends, stunt casted girlfriends on that show were incredible. - Yeah, Edie Falco. - Elizabeth Banks, Edie Falco. There was another one, there was another one. Oh, Julianne Moore. - Julianne Moore, of course. Elizabeth Banks. And then Lachlan's mom. - Oh, Emily Mortimer. - Emily Mortimer, right? - Yep, yep, yep. - Yes, Bones, Avian Bones. - Yes, yes. - Oh, Avian Bones.
I just want to say, I know this is cheating, but like I have been here in a while. The other two I don't think so honey's that we're going to do other than the one I'm about to do. Okay. Is A, I don't think so honey people who text their email address or phone number in this, not in a separate text to make it easily copy and paste. Oh my God. That is texting etiquette 101 as far as I'm concerned. Do not send me
your email address or phone number in the body of a large block of text so that I cannot get to it. And I have to delete. Instagram DMs, Instagram DMs especially are hard. Yes. You know? And it's just like, I cannot stand it. I was like, now I have to, I have to do this manually. I mean, you've changed my behavior. Thank you. Thank you. And the other one was people who say, wow, that really made me laugh at the group chat. Because you are upending the entire ecosystem of ha ha, LOL, ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, you've now downgraded. No, no. It's an impact. You've really pulled the curtain and I'm seeing like, oh, with that pithy thing that I said that got four haha reacts on the chain. So how do you feel about this? How do you feel about these two words? Actual lol. No, you've broken the illusion. I say actual lol. And the thing is, what does lol mean then?
- What does lol mean? - Should this ever be called actual lol? - What about,
This. I'm laughing. I love I'm laughing. I love I'm laughing. I'm laughing. It's like all of it though is just sort of like, oh, that took me out. Did it take you out? Right. Did it really take you out? If I said it, that took me out. I'm laughing is so general use, so many use cases for it. If you're actually lolling, say it applies. If you're just lolling, you know, for etiquette purposes, great. I'm laughing is the way.
I'm laughing. I promise you I really am. Like if I say I'm laughing, I promise you I really am. Haha emoji or haha whatever reaction thing, I can't promise that I'm haha. I can promise that I can back up that I did think it's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an intellectual exercise, the haha react. Yeah, that made me laugh I don't like. I'm laughing. I'm laughing, I laugh.
Wow, that really made me laugh. Fuck you. Yeah. And I, of course, love Actual Law. I have friends who do Real Grin, RG. No! I'm so sorry. They're fans of the podcast, though. You don't have those friends anymore. Oh, no! They're gone. What about Itch Ball?
Itch. Oh. I love it. It had a moment. It did really have a moment. But it's like going. The cycles are moving too fast. Like we had Chugi for just a brief moment. Yeah, but Chugi was never built to last. Hubs is apparently the new one. Hubs? Hubs. It's how you refer, how Gen Alpha is referring apparently to people that they have crushes on. Oh.
And correct me if I'm wrong. I believe it's, yeah, it is associated with that. Okay, I like hubs. That is the father word. But this is direct intel from Maya Rudolph about her 14-year-old daughter. I see. So, like, it could just be whatever is going on in LA. I haven't done the research or, you know, I haven't asked ChatGBT. Sure, sure, sure. To confirm or deny. Edgeball, I really am a fan of.
Are people ishballing still? He does. I'm doing it. Wow. I just burst out laughing. I just burst out laughing. Well, I mean, it's the same sort of over the top like nonsense as rolling on the floor. Right. I never like softball. Get off the floor. Get off the floor. Get off the floor. It's not like you're rolling around. It's filthy on the floor. It's filthy. Okay, now I'm ready to do my own. All right. So after two, I don't think so honeys, here's Joel's
I don't think so, honey. This is Joel Kimbush, I don't think so, honey. It's time starts now. - I don't think so, honey. Singing competition shows. I'm talking about you, American Idol. Guess what, American Idol? You did it on the first try. You found her, okay? Hang it up. We don't need you anymore. We do not need the voice. We do not need X Factor. We do not need America's Got Talent to find singers for us anymore because guess what? There is no monoculture.
There is no monoculture and your gig, your little playbook only works if everybody's watching and no one is watching anymore. Not all of America. Okay? There are too many musicians. These are professional karaoke competition shows with a cash prize at the end. And that's okay. That's okay. But sell them on that. Do not promise them a career. Do not promise them that they'll be stars because many of them will not be stars. They will end up
as the third replacement on Broadway of a B-tier musical. - That's a job. - A B-tier musical. G-Fox, and yes, I don't want to take away jobs from people, but I'm just saying, let's frame what you are appropriately. And that is a karaoke competition show with a prize, cash prize. - And that's one minute. Okay. - Edge, I just stood up clapping. Edge, Edge, I suck. Edge, suck.
I just ended up clapping. I would like to say, for the record, I told you this before the record. I am watching. I'm still watching. Yeah, you're the biggest fan of each show. I'm watching American Idol. I'm watching The Voice. Yeah. I'm watching it all happen. Amazing, talented people come through there. But the fact of the matter is, is that no one is famous anymore. It's like so crazy. It makes me laugh. It's dishonest. It makes me laugh when people, as an insult, are like, I don't even know who this person is. And it's like, no.
No one knows. I hate that. There is not one person. There are very few people, I should say, that everybody knows. Yeah. It just doesn't exist. And in a world where that doesn't exist and it's so fractured that you couldn't create another Kelly Clarkson. Right. And the reason why it was successful up until a certain point through, you know, we got Fantasia, we got Carrie, we got...
Jennifer Hudson, et cetera, Clay. But like that was still back when we were talking at the water cooler about television. And there's just no monoculture anymore. And that only, you can only create stars like that when there is a monoculture. You know what's funny is like,
Who technically is an American Idol find is Benson Boone. Yeah, I found that out recently. And the only reason he's as famous as he is is because he quit abruptly. I didn't know that. So he was on American Idol. He gave this insane audition. Like this amazing audition. And Katy Perry was literally like...
Do you want to win this show? You can, if that's what you want, you can win the show. And then he like made it to the, I guess like the live rounds or whatever. And then was abruptly gone. I think because someone got in his head and was like, yo,
if you want a real career, don't stay on this through the live shows. Do not. Yeah. That, that happened recently with another contestant, a young girl who is giving like a Taylor Swift, like she, the era parent. And like, by the time she made it to the live, she was out because of the contracts. Hmm.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's another thing that is a problem with this is that like you're locking these people into things that like maybe not necessarily help them. Yeah. Do you listen to this podcast? I watch it. I listen to it. Do you watch your list? I listen to it. There's a lot of holes in your story already. I listen to it when it, for me, it's a touchdown for me and my friends. Okay. I don't listen to it when it's stars. Hmm.
You don't listen to it when it starts? I don't listen to it when it starts. You didn't listen to the Gaga episode? I have listened to the Gaga episode, obviously. Okay, so there's lots of holes in the story. Okay, and I listened to the Kelly... I listened... I guess for me... I listened to the Kelly Clarkson episode, what, two years ago? The thing is... I don't like this at all. I listen when there's stars that I know matter to you two. So...
Did you listen to Chapel Roan? It came out today. That dropped today. I watched her. I don't think so, honey. Claps to her. As a scholar of the form, I think it was fantastic. She did great. And you did great. And you did great. And I did great today. Yeah, everybody did great today. This was a wonderful return to form. I was going to say people will herald this as a return to form.
We're back. Yeah. I mean, like, listen, I've listened to the Cole episode 19,000 times. No, no, no. The recent one. Yeah. The recent Cole. The recent Cole. Yeah. The recent Cole. Literally, we were trapped in a Burning Man exit line for about eight hours and we only had the podcasts that were already downloaded on our phones to listen to. We had to go back. We went back and listened to it again. I forget about that as a thing people can do. Like, people can have favorite episodes of a podcast.
- That is sweet. - Like we have that, like we listen to that. - Murder on the Stupid Bitch Express. - Oh, Murder on the Stupid Bitch Express. - On InfoWars. - Absolutely. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We revisit Meg's episode constantly. - "Saltzer"? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, that was when I got hit by a car. - Yeah. - Yeah, we visited. I feel like people see a new classic in the Gaby Windy episode. - Yeah, they do. They love the Gaby episode. - That one was great too, but like, I think like it makes me sad sometimes because
I want to be tactile with my sisters. I want to be. I want to be. You want to be in the room. You want to be in the room. I understand. You want to be with Liz Feldman. You want to be Liz Feldman. Just had her on my podcast. She was amazing. She's great. That was a really good episode. And again, I did listen to that one too. Okay. So lots of holes.
And maybe that's the title of it. Lots of holes. Lots of holes in one room. No, but we have actual law. We have lots of holes and we have riding on the brown line. I think riding on the brown line. Riding on the brown line. That feels the most Joel. You know what I mean? Well, what else would feel the most Joel is to plug his project. Oh, yeah. So you can listen to Bad Dates. It comes out every Monday, I think. I want to say every Monday or Tuesday. It comes out every week. It comes out on a weekly basis. Yeah.
Matt's been on. I haven't gotten Bone yet. I haven't landed my white whale yet. You can watch Love Hotel every Sunday at 8, 7 Central following Real Housewives of Atlanta on Bravo. Not on Peacock anymore. Wait, 8, 7 Central but following Atlanta? I might have gotten it wrong. Maybe it's not. Or maybe I got it wrong. Maybe it's not following Atlanta. Maybe it's lead into Atlanta. It's just on Sundays. But it's just on Sundays. It's got to be following Atlanta.
I don't know. If I'm programming Bravo, I'm putting it on after it. Yeah. So catch that. The show is fucking fantastic. It is... I want to see it going by and by. It's going to be really... It's very different from anything that they've ever tried to do. I think it's...
Obviously, I'm biased, but I think it's a compelling watch. And you'll see these ladies in a very different light from their respective. And wait, it's Shannon Giselle, Ashley, and Luann. Luann. Okay. So I like some of the people on it. I like one of them. The thing is, you'll get your life watched. It will take you out. Yeah. An itch ball. An itch ball. I'm laughing. And you'll be on the floor. I'm laughing. No matter who you're watching. Yeah.
- It's riding the brown line, period. - Period. - Unless, we'll discuss. - And then- - Let's discuss. I want to support my sister. - Riding on the brown line. - Riding on the brown line. - What else? - And then yeah, I guess like Loot will be out later this year and other things to be continued. - To be continued. We end every episode with a big old song. - I'm sorry, I forgot about this part. I'm so excited.
Oh, holy night. Lots of holes. The stars are brightly shining. It is the night. It is the day? It is the night. I got it wrong. You really changed that song. You made it your own. Carry on doing it, everyone. Bye. Bye.
And our music is by Henry Komerski.
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Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating. I don't feel emotions correctly. I collect my roommate's toenails and fingernails. Those were some callers from my call-in podcast, Therapy Gecko. It's a show where I take phone calls from anonymous strangers as a fake gecko.
gecko therapist and try to learn a little bit about their lives. I know that's a weird concept, but I promise it's very interesting. Check it out for yourself by searching for Therapy Gecko on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey kids, it's me, Kevin Smith. And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith. That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless, dickless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Dickless Me. I'm the old one. I'm the young one. And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only.
Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out. It's a work in progress. Listen to Beardless with me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.