This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX's Dying for Sex. All episodes now streaming on Hulu.
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Hey, readers. It is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO. You know, on Lost Culture Recess, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests. Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs.
from dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us. Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go. You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom.
For six decades, they've been each other's most trusted counsel, and now they want to be that counsel for you. So if you want to know about the culture that made Michelle and Craig say culture is for them, check out IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, wherever you get your podcasts.
Ding dong, Lost Culture East is calling. This is a brand new space and I really had to orient myself. It's very Sunset Boulevard, those people out there. Very Sunset Boulevard. I love that for you too when Vanessa's character is auditioning. For to be a QVC host. You know what I just realized about you? They'd be so lucky to have you go to QVC. No, don't.
Why are you offended? I said you could sell products on television live. It is a hard job and it is kind of too... It's like encased in amber, that kind of television. It's like time. Seeing Stacey Rush do it from The Real Housewives of Potomac, be a QVC legend. I go, this is so comforting. These women are selling...
some of the ugliest jeggings you've ever seen in your life. It's like a jewel tone jegging that comes with a bracelet. And it's like a Christ bracelet. It's like what I love about these jewel tone jeggings is I can feel confident and sexy while also staying a Christian woman. And I'm a Christian woman while I also, you know I'm fun.
And that's one thing at home that I think a lot of people are thinking, and I know there's a lot of good Christians out there, is could I still be fun? Wow. Now these are flying off the shelves. We've already sold 12. These are really selling. And we only have 15. And so that's why I'm saying this is, and that's how I know there's a lot of great Christians out there. These jeggings. These jeggings. But this is, and can I just say, we were just doing it.
You know, we were just doing it. You were doing it. No, you, I was, I'm sorry, am I blind? No, you both were doing it. You were both doing it. We were doing it. I like threw a penny in the fountain. Girl. You know what I mean? I didn't, I didn't fully commit. You threw a rhinestone.
Wow. A jewel tone. A jewel tone rhinestone. So speaking... This is a writer. I mean, writer, performer, stand-up legend. By the way, like we're sitting here, we're just thrilled because this has been a long time coming. It's been a long time coming. This is someone who has seen us...
bomb and grovel and just be among... Not bomb. We've bombed in front of you. I've never seen you bomb. I don't know if... I don't know if... When have we... I've never seen you guys bomb. That's not true. No, I truly... I would not say that. I would honestly say... I'm sure I had Union Hall sweats in front of you at some point while you were in the back.
Being like... Union Hall sweats? Is that something we'd call it? Oh, I felt many Union Hall sweats. Guess I crushed at Union Hall every time. You've never gotten sweats? Never had the Union Hall sweats. Only felt the Union Hall shoulder shake. Getting off stage killed them. One time at Union Hall. Oh, yeah, those people. I was bombing so hard. I turned around to the lady who's hanging on the wall, and I said she was Mary Todd Lincoln, but that's not who that lady is. Yeah, but you know what? Who is that lady? I don't know. It's just some lady. She might as well be Mary Todd. She's Ms. Hall. Ms. Hall. Um...
Mary Todd Hall. Mary Todd Hall. Mary Todd Hall. Of course. But listen, this voice that you're hearing, if you're listening to this at home, is one of our pals. It's been a long time coming. The motherlode is the special. Honestly, it is funny every single second, which, dare I say, you can't say even about stand-up specials, most of them. About any piece of comedy. Any piece of comedy. Like, come see us at Union Hall 10 years ago. Yeah.
You'll get a few chuckles in there. You'll get a few chuckles and that's it. She self-directed it, which we need to talk about. Loved. That's fucking. So fun. So cool of you. So fun. We need to ask you about this. She's on the Harmless Lady Tour. By the time this comes out, she will have Edmonton. I'm sorry, Baltimore, then Edmonton, then Sacramento. Shut up. I can't believe it. You know, you know my tour date. I know your date. I don't know the dates. Well, it's from April to May. I mean, you know the cities. I know the cities. I think Cleveland is in there. Cleveland's in there. Did you say that?
I think by the time this comes out, but Cleveland, from the future, go see Rosebud. Cleveland, you just missed me. Really feel shame about this because the fact is, this is one of the greats. Please welcome into your ears, Rosebud Baker! Hi!
I'm so excited. When I saw you at SNL the other night, the overwhelming joy I felt, and it wasn't just because Lady Gaga was in the building, it was because Rosebud was there. Shut the fuck up. No, it was. Every time I see you at SNL, I get excited. And it's not just because somebody from outside of the building is in the building. Yeah, the SNL sweats. You know? The SNL sweats. Where you're like, oh my God, somebody...
Humanity. Have we talked about this? It feels a little bit both violatory and exhilarating when people from the outside world permeate. Yes. And it's odd because, obviously, love my husband, hate bringing him to the parties. Really? I feel like I'm babysitting. He doesn't operate with, this is the problem, he doesn't operate with the same level of paranoia that I have to operate at. Nice.
So I walk around after him just being like, what'd you say to them? Right. It's like knowing where the landmines are in the battlefield. Yes. And he'll be like, they were fine. And I'm like, yeah, but what face did they make? Right. I now just pictured Andy just walking into a battlefield. It made me laugh. He's a funny guy. Funny guy. He is. He is a Redwood. Yep.
He is a Redwood. Yes. BTS for people that were not here for the conversation prior to us recording. I saw Redwood last night at the Idina Menzel tree musical. We're calling it Tree Dina. Tree Dina. Here's what I'll say. I loved watching her in the tree and I loved how much joy she was feeling doing the musical. Pfft.
And that is where I will end my comments. That's what people say to me every week after an SNL show. I like you. You're having so much fun up there. You have so much fun in this game. And that's,
that's what a comedy show should be. Yeah. And that's what's important. You bring us joy. Yeah. And you're happy. Yeah. You're so happy. You have no idea what I've been through. Yeah. But anyway, this special is so good. It's so good. Thank you. Thank you for watching it. I truly, whenever, when I started doing it,
when I was like, okay, I'm going to do a special about like becoming a mom and what that feels like. I was like, this feels a little bit like walking into an open grave. Oh yeah. Because everybody, no one cares. No one cares. I, whenever I bring up motherhood, I feel like I just was like, are you guys into rollerblading? Everybody just looks at me like, if you are, I guess, you know? So I tried to make it a special that felt like,
whether you had kids, didn't have kids, it was funny and you could enjoy it. And so I feel like I succeeded. It just feels like you the entire time. It doesn't feel like this is my special on motherhood or becoming a mother. It feels like this is Rosebud's special. And I love that about it. Thank you. It's great. You really are one of the best joke writers out there.
out there. It's true. No, I mean, it's for real. I mean, like, it's just great to see people, like, actually put jokes in a comedy piece, period. Yeah. Which feels less and less likely. And what's important is that you're happy and you had fun. Yes. Yes.
You were having fun up there. And you were having fun up there. What was the choice to shoot? I guess, what was it? You shot it twice. Yes. Once, eight months. So I shot two separate hours, right? It was like, I shot the first hour when I was eight months pregnant. I waited a year. I took the jokes from that hour and I kind of like built on them based on my experience after having had the baby. Right. And then shot a
a second half of it a year after having the baby and combined the two into one special. Right. I love that. It was really fun to do, honestly. I mean, it was terrifying and crazy when I look back at it. I'm like, that was insane of me. Only somebody who's like,
living with the fear of being kicked out of the industry would do something like this. No, truly. I like, that is what I look at it. And I'm like, that was what was motivating me. I was like, I have to keep working, you know, like, like this is going to feed her, you know? So I hear you. Yeah. So I was like, I was working my ass off, but it was really, when I look back at it, I'm like, it's so, I do feel like,
And I feel like a loser saying it. Say it now. I'm like, it does feel like it's so me. Yeah. And so when I look at it, I'm like, I'm proud of it. It doesn't feel like something where I was trying to like impress, you know, middle-aged men. Right. Which when I watched my first special, I'm like, okay, I see what you were doing there. You were trying to like get the respect of the comics. Right. And get that, you know, and now I watch this and I go, that was, that was like,
100% me and just trying to like make something that I was proud of. Yeah. And like you shouldn't even like rate yourself retroactively on the first special because we went through that phase. We're probably still going through that phase of like, I guess it should appeal to a general audience, which means inevitably like,
People that aren't like me. Exactly. Yes. Let me sort of traffic in this thing that I don't necessarily believe in and also am not so that I can get across this thing that may do better as a result. Right. But then you find out it's a complicated thing but it's like
no, just be yourself. That's what's going to connect you with people. And yes, that connects you with your fans, but it still doesn't really work in the industry. Yeah. They're still will ask you to do. It's like you can build your own fan base. And it's like the industry is still like, well, what about the men in Ohio? Right. And you're like, I forgot about them because I don't think about them. Because I don't care. Yes. I don't want them. I don't even care. Like,
It surprised me that men did like the special, like straight guys did like... It was a little disappointing, but I was like, okay, I'll take the win. I was like, okay. But it did feel like... I guess that's just what happens. Like when you are you, it doesn't... Then that's all you want. You just want to get on stage and not have to just get over that hump of like explaining who you are in the context of the rest of the world for the joke to land. Do you know what I mean? Well, because it's that...
and I'm rolling my eyes as I say this out loud. It's like you're being so specific that it feels universal. Right. Like the guy in Ohio can appreciate like
as a husband getting postpartum anxiety like Andy did or something. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I didn't even know could happen either. I didn't know it could happen. But then obviously it made sense. Like it is his child. And it's like if you if you're someone who can rummage it on the idea of like this is a thing that wasn't alive a little bit ago. Right. You know what I mean? Yes. And you're like and the whole time it's funny because I have like a traumatic reaction to like
I'll be like, she's not sick. She's not sick. And then Andy will be like, but she is, but she is. And it actually turns out to really be perfect because he'll call the doctor on stuff where I'm like, I don't think we need to be concerned about that because that could be a nightmare for me emotionally and terrifying and for her. And so,
sometimes I'm like, thank God you're paranoid. Yeah. Sure. You know, it's a checks and balances. Yeah. Do you think that that, cause also in the special, you talk about how you guys were raised very differently. Like you, like you'd make a joke about like your dad throwing you like a football into like a lake and being like, that's how you swim and then jumping in and saving you and being like, see, look, dad saved your life. What a guy.
Yeah. And whereas like, you know, being gaslit into loving your father. Yeah, right. And he's from Seattle from a more like, I guess, liberal progressive situation. Yeah. Do you think that that has informed you as parents, even if you're like growing up being like that? There's no way. There's no way. I'm not going to throw my kid in the water. Right. Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. Because I'll be like, I remember him coming home with Minnow and
And he was like, I think she has a dairy allergy. And I remember my reaction going, no, she doesn't. Those don't exist. Fully aware they do. Fully aware they exist. But your parent jumps out. I literally was like, no. Right. Not an option. And I didn't look into it. I didn't ask him why he thought that even. I just went, nah.
It's not. No. Brand new gut. Yeah. Brand new gut. Can't have a dairy allergy. Can't be Morgan this way. Yes. And we found out yes? We did not find out. I think I actually, on that one, he was like, you might be right about this. You won. Yeah. Complacency won. Yes. But we will, hopefully we should just get it checked out. Honestly. Looking at it now, I'm like, we probably should just take a look. The gunkles say...
The council said check it out. Then it reminds me of this other joke you have about your mom, like talking about like you getting a blood transfusion when you were an infant at a time when kids were getting AIDS from the transfusion. Yes.
And you being like, well, did I have it? And then she's like, well, we never got it checked because it would have ruined your social life. Right. In first grade. I'm like, literally first grade, I think. She was like, you could have, you could have, we just never found out. And the doctor said it would be bad for your social life. I was like, no, he didn't. The waspy doctor. Yeah, I was like, absolutely.
Absolutely not. And it's funny too, because my mom, like the Pokemon evolution of my mother is like going from like Republican wife to like liberal divorcee who like paints in Maine. Love you. She moved to Maine. Yes. And she is now very liberal in a way that you're kind of like, okay, you know what I mean?
You're overshooting. She's overshooting, yes. You know, she's painting a Ukrainian flag in her garage. And she's like, look at this. Look at what I did with a big sunflower in the middle of it. You're like, cool. You are having a rediscovery. That's good. Yeah. No, that's good for you, you know. But then do you feel her brain in your head in this moment of parenthood? I do. You know,
That's a really good question. I feel like my dad's parenting had more of an effect, even though I was with my mom more. So, I mean, I think the artistic side of me is all my mother. Like, she's a painter. Her whole side of the family is, like, all, like, writers, painters, you know, photographers. And your sister, too. And my sister is in the art gallery world. She works in art. And so...
I and my other sisters are musicians. So it's all like, we're all very much that. Yeah. Um,
But my dad, maybe it was like the absence of him. Right. That made his presence like more of a... Or maybe just genetically, that's where it comes from. Do you think maybe like the absence of him made you fixate on him more and therefore like his parenting like was... It's the searching for that or the wanting that that makes it... I don't know. I'm just like, I look at it and I go, he was...
He was like a fucked up guy. And when I think about it, I'm like, he's kind of the reason I'm funny. Uh-huh. You know? Like, when I think about my dad making fun of people jogging. Yeah.
I'm like, that's my sense of humor. He was your comedic influence. Yes. Yeah. They do tend to be that. Yeah. My dad, I don't know. My dad, I feel like we probably had similar dads. My dad plays a Long Island version of that. Long Island, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's kind of like... I was listening to the episode with Sarah when you were talking about how you drew him asking for a beer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Peanut, get me a beer from the press. I mean...
Yeah, literally. And all my mom could say was, I love you. It's not funny. Did he make him, did he make you walk on his back when his back hurt? You know what? Such a dad. Yes. You know what's crazy? I used to make people do that. I used to make Sudi do that. Yes, you did. Sudi was walking on my back all of college. And now I'm like, did I get that from my dad? I don't think so.
My dad would do the thing of like, here, get on my biceps. I can lift you to heaven. Oh yeah. And like, I did that. So it was a, it was a lot of other physical stuff. And he used to, we used to play a game called crocodile where he was a crocodile in the bed. And I was like, I was like a muskrat and he would take me and throw me off the bed. Oh, that's the best. That's what we do with Minnow. He loves that.
I bet. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I want to get thrown. Yeah, it's really fun. She really loves it. She does it to herself now where we'll like grab her and we'll throw her into the bed and then we'll say boom while she does it. So then she'll climb up on the bed and she'll just fall into the pillows and go boom. Boom. It's very lonely to see, to see her do it to herself. You know what though? Sense of humor for me. Sense of humor. Pratfall. Oh yeah. Pratfall queen. Big time. Oh yeah.
Big time. You've been asked this a million times, but with two comedian parents, what is, what do you expect? What's the likelihood? What do you expect her, how, what, how is she going to like spit that out when she grows up? You know, I have no idea. I genuinely hope for her sake that she's not a comic, but I also am like, I understand it's my job as a parent to nurture, whatever, to nurture whatever she wants to do. And that is like what I intend to do. And if she wants to do comedy, I,
I'm going to be like, great. That's awesome. Then also you guys are going to be there as comics one day watching her sets and being like... That's going to be really tough. Ooh, yeah. Because you're going to have to go through a developmental period. Yeah. You know what I think is just based off of her personality so far, I do think that when she... If she doesn't like it right away, she's going to be like, I don't know.
I want to be a doctor. So it's like, great. Let's do Gemini Moon. You know, try whatever. Try a lot of different things and then see what you like. By the way, I remember one of the times that we hung out at SNL in Bowen's dressing room. You came in and you were crowdsourcing names. Yes, I remember this. There was an era where you were like really looking to people. I remember you had like narrowed it down. Yes. Yeah. And Minnow Rocks. Minnow Rocks. I love Minnow. It's like my aunt's nickname. I love that. I feel like it's,
just like a cute little homage to her. And yeah, it's fun to say. When I heard we landed there, I was like,
I don't know if that was even in the ether at that time. I think I said it to you and Greta. You may have. And I think we did have a very positive response. Yeah, because we were going back and forth about the middle name. If you have Minnow, then what's the middle name? Because I was like, what about like Penelope? And then we were like, that's a little Wes Anderson. Yeah. You know, like Minnow Penelope. Minnow Penelope. It veers on too much. Yes. Wait, what is the middle name? It's Baker. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh my God. So I just made it Baker. Baker Haynes. Oh, that rocks. Yeah. Baker Haynes. Right? It feels, it kind of feels like a- That's an indie darling. It feels a little bit like it could be that or it's like a welterweight from like the 1950s. You know what I mean? It is.
Not heavy, not light. Minnow B. Haynes. Yeah, Minnow B. Haynes. Minnow B. Haynes is the welterweight. Incredible author, I feel. Right? Important feminist work. Yes. Or music producer. Music producer. One word, Minnow, like willow. Minnow. Welcome back, Quincy Jones. Yes. Yes. Minnow B. Haynes. Minnow B. Haynes. Yes.
I love it. It's fun. You have my favorite. I think my favorite, there's a lot of, it's hard to pick a favorite, but I think my favorite currently joke in the special is being a mother in New York is like being a gay man in the fifties. You have to hang out with people who are like you and it has to be in the park. It's like, I don't know how anyone does it here.
I really don't. Yeah. You can't go to fucking restaurants. You can't go to restaurants and people talk to you differently. Like people that you've known your whole life, they talk to you differently. I was dying at mama. Hey mama. What are you doing mama? And it's not even, and then you are like a gay guy too because we're all calling each other mama out. Right. Mama. Hey mama.
Mama! Mama! Yeah. And the whole time, and you're judging each other. Yeah. You're totally judging each other. Like, how do you do it? Yeah. Have you made, like, mom friends explicitly that you actually like? It's tough. Yeah. Like, what are the challenges? I haven't. I have not made a single mom friend. Wow. I mean, I have friends who are moms that do comedy. Sure. Yep. So, like, comic moms I do get along with really well because I'm like, they get it. They understand. Yeah. But it's weird to be...
who's a mom because you don't really fit in with the other moms. Right. And you don't fit in with the stand-ups and you're just kind of like, so stand-up comics who are moms or parents, you kind of understand. Yeah. Because you really are living like a severed life. It's a weird severed life. Like a double isolation. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah. And you've got a crazy job and it's like... Yeah, that's crazy. Andy went to a party last night for the first time. He like went to paintball with like a bunch of his friends. That's fun. And he came home and it felt like something like awoke in him. He was like... He goes...
I don't think I realized how isolating this is. And I was like, yeah. He goes, that was the most fun I've had in years. I was like, well, paintball. You know what I mean? Totally. Why not? Okay, whatever floats your boat, babe. Should we go bowling or something? I think we should go paintballing. Let's do a paint and sip. Now I'm going to get literally, now I'm going to actually fixate on paintballing. I went paintballing once.
And it was for a straight guy's bachelor party. And you had a blast. And I had the best time of my life. That was a straight guy's bachelorette.
Yeah, literally. And it was like a lot of gay guys too. It was one of those New York theater straight guys who like has a lot of gay friends. Yes. So it was like me, Dave, our friend Ryan, et cetera, like all getting shot. Was this Luke's? Yes, it was Luke's. Oh, I love that. And it was, we were all getting shot at by straight men, but it was like... I've dated so many of those like theater straight guys, it's actually embarrassing. No. They all have the personality of like a New York cop. Yeah. You're like, what? Wait, elaborate on that. Well, me and Andy were talking about it. Like...
Every like New York actor who's like a straight man. Okay, I think I know where you're going. Do you know what I mean? They all have like a bandana as a bracelet and they'll be like, yeah, I'm an actor. And they've got like a fucking leather jacket on and they have this energy like they throw a cigarette and they fucking spin on it. Yeah.
Yeah, they like, you know what it is. I completely know what it is. I can name like three people. Damn, you're right. They're all like that. And you just want to be like, you know, you're not actually a cop. Yeah. You didn't book Law and Order yet. Yes. I know you're living like a blue collar life as an actor, kind of, but like your hands are soft. Right. I also think like those guys go through phases too because in college, that's when they're the worst because they get so much action. Yeah.
Like these girls are so starved because it's mostly gay guys and like other, other girls. And also they're in these programs where they're competing with each other anyway. So there's already, they're in the mindset of like only so many of us can get a roles and be fucked. Yes. So it's, and those guys are absolutely spoiled for choice. Yes. And they, it's, it's a different kind of thing. They, they, they do grow up and all, everyone we've talked about has grown up. Yes. But they do in college have to send out those signals.
among their classmates to be like, I'm not gay, by the way. Yes. Like that. It's just a subtle signal. Yes, like that. Sort of walk down the street yelling, I'm not gay.
Yay! By the way! Did it work? Yeah, I can't. The number of guys that I've dated with like fedoras and, you know, it was really a rough time where I wanted to be in a relationship with another artist because I feel like they get it. Yeah. You know, they get the life that you're living. Yeah. But the actors, honey, I just. It's a little too. The only word is emo. Yeah.
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This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX's Dying for Sex. All episodes now streaming on Hulu. ♪
How did you and Andy meet? We met at Matchless, Bar Matchless, like years ago. And were you ever thinking like it'll be another comedian, like straight up stand-up comedian? Or were you kind of like...
did not know who it would be. I was just like, I had gotten out of a relationship with a comic. Yeah. And when I met Andy, I was like still with this other comic, by the way. And then like never really even saw Andy until like after that. And I remember like meeting Andy and seeing him and
him being like a very awkward human being. And he told me, like we had talked for the first time in the day to each other. And he was like, I just, I pretend, he goes, sometimes I like, I feel like I'm pretending to be a human being. Oh yeah, you've said this. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, he said the whole thing about how he like talks to himself. He'll be like good blinking Andy, you know, while he's talking to someone. Yeah.
And so I immediately liked him, but not in a way where I was like, oh, I got to get fucked. You know what I mean? I got to get dicked down. This guy who thinks about blinking is going to absolutely give it to me in every which way. Going to split me in half. Not no. Not no, but also, you know, not like... Not top of mind. Yes, mama. Yeah, yes, mama. So... Yes, mama might be titled as that. I apologize. Yes, mama.
It's still on the nose. It is on the nose. Yes, mama. Yes, mama. So I guess I just thought like, no, it's not going to be him. And I did. I called up Sidney Washington after I realized I had a crush on Andy. To vet him? No, to be like, do you think I'm okay? Do you think I'm doing all right? And because he was so outside of, he's so outside of like my type and my, what I was like looking for. Sure. That I was like, do you think I'm, everything okay? Yeah.
hey, up here right now. How have I sounded to you? You know, and she was like, oh, this is really out of left field. But she goes, but it makes sense in a weird way. And I was like, that's how I feel. And so we went on a few dates and then I knew I wanted to get married. So I said to him, you know, not necessarily to him. I just knew I wanted to get married. So I was like, hey, sad news for you. I want to get married. So
if you don't want to get married, we should just start fucking other people. Right, right. And he was like, well, I don't want to do that. I don't want to, I don't want to fuck other people. And so he was like, I'll get married, you know? And I was like, you know, not to me necessarily. It was a weird conversation to have because you're not telling someone like, you got to marry me. Yeah. You just have to be like, this is what I want. This is my cards on the table. Here's what I see. Right. And not even see for my future. This is what I'm like planning for. Yeah, yeah.
So, and at the time did not want kids, just really wanted to be like married and fun. I just love like a fun married couple. That travel. That travel. Unburdened, et cetera. And they're like, they make each other laugh. I really wanted that life. I was like, that looks so fun. Yeah. And so, um,
It was literally nine months later that he proposed. So, you know, we're both drug addicts. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. We remember when we met him in Montreal. Yes. He was so sweet. We had the same flight back. Did you? He knew who we were. Did he talk to you the entire time about geography? No, but yes, he's a map guy. Yeah, he's a real map guy. He's a real map guy. Wait, what? He loves to talk about... Tell him where you're from. He will bring up at least three landmarks in your hometown. Wow. He's like...
he really is autistic. I was going to say, is that an autism thing? We've never gotten him tested, but I'm pretty positive based on everything that I've read and know about autism that my husband for sure has it. He's on that spectrum. Yeah, totally. For sure. Because it's crazy. I mean, the way just watching Jeopardy next to him, I'm like, well, why aren't you on there? He should go on it. He should. He should.
I know. Let me tell you, like, I've been on the Celebrity Jeopardy and did well once I figured out how do you do it, like the clicking of the buzzer. That's the hardest part. Oh, really? Yes. As long as you get that down, he could win.
Okay. He could win. Well, what the fuck are we doing? I just think it's a cool thing. Even if we watch, even, I swear to God, even if you put him on Celebrity Jeopardy, he knows every, like, side character actor's name. Yeah. And, you know, where you're like, how do you even know this? And he's like, he's one of the most famous actors in Britain. And you're like, no, he's not. Ha ha ha.
No, he's not. I wonder who it is now. I wonder who it is. It could be... He says it about everyone. Yeah. How much of it do you absorb? Do you find that you learn things from him or are you like... I absorb none of it. Like, I wish I absorbed some of it. It would be amazing if I absorbed some of it. But it all just goes like... There are people that are just like that. I'm...
I can't. Yeah, I don't know about you. You work at SNL, so you can't remember anything, right? My brain is fucking mush. Yeah, and you're in entertainment, and also a Pisces, so I assume your memory is kind of shitty. My memory is, well... Pretty good, actually. No, no, no. Well, okay, my long-term memory is excellent. My short-term memory is getting worse all the time. And I actually started to freak myself out because I think it's about marijuana. I also, like all my grandparents have...
you know, dementia, struggled and met their demise to some sort of like that type of thing. So I'm now, I just turned 35. I'm now in that phase of like, okay, so at what point is something coming for me? Right, right. We were saying it's like algorithmically, Instagram really decides at like 34, 35 that you're seeing like,
panicky, like middle-aged stuff. Yes. It happens. I was thinking about you the other day. Oh, no. Because you're 34 still, but just wait. Things change on the day. It gets way worse in your late 30s, just FYI. What's coming up in the audience? I'm getting just pajamas. Yeah. Just pajamas. That's not so bad. No, it's like, well, you don't work, right? Ha ha ha!
They're like, you're retired. It's pajamas. So then that makes me feel great because the algorithm is still stupid and it doesn't know who you are. But that's also given the number of things I've filtered out because they were literally offensive. Yeah. You know? So it's like pajamas and drugs. Memory care facilities for you in all caps. Yeah. They're like a place for mom. You're like, what? A place for mom. You're like, I'm not even familiar.
You know it's going to get even worse even now as we sit here with our phones on the table because they're currently listening. This is the most fucked up thing that ever happened. Last night I'm at dinner after the show and I literally said, what do you guys think about deviled eggs? Like getting them for the table to share.
No. I flip open my phone. It's like deviled eggs. It's like the algorithm was like, just wanted to talk about deviled eggs. Yeah. And I'm like, this is too specific to not be you literally monitoring me at all times when my phone is like not in active use. It's yeah. Well, they can hear us saying we've been growled. Well, also just hearing you order deviled eggs is, I thought it was going to be for a senior home. I thought it was going to be that. Your interest changing? Yeah.
So my, your circumstances for the table, a place for dad, a place for gunkle. Do we like start this now? And, and,
plan out like an assisted living facility for like Brooklyn comedians or something. I mean, we should, there should be something, but I'm scared. Cause I'm like, what could be worse than a nursing home? A nursing home for comedians. Oh God. Yeah. Just desperately trying out your like new stuff. Yes. Just, or like doing bits. Like people are on when they're in their eighties.
Like doing a bit that you're choking, but you are. Or like doing a bit that you forget like something, but you have. Wait, that is my biggest fear when I'm on stage. I've had panic attacks about that. Of choking? I have panic attacks while I'm on stage about what if I had a seizure right now? They'd all think I was doing an act out. Yeah. She's amazing. She's amazing.
so physical. And I'm like, I've never been physical in my act in my whole life. I don't know why I think this, but for some reason in my mind, they're all going to think I'm like Pablo Francisco. Yeah. And I'm just doing a full like, whoa. Like, and I've had full panic attacks where I don't remember the entire set. Oh,
Because I'm just like by rote memorizing saying it out loud. Yeah. But in my mind going, if I had a seizure right now, they'd all laugh. They'd all be laughing. That's crossed my mind before. Everybody, if you see Rosebud Baker live and she seizes on stage, it's not an act out. It's not real. All the hospitals. She's suddenly a
physical comedian. Something's wrong. She's having a seizure. Something is wrong. Call the police. Andy will be there. He'll call the police. If it was up to you, you'd be like, I'm fine. Andy's calling the pediatrician first. You have to come down. He's like, this is actually about my wife, but I don't have the doctor's number. Yeah. It's a terrifying thing to imagine. Yeah. I mean, but the great thing though is like, I mean, as I was watching the special, I was thinking about it. I was like,
to have that family unit in place does kind of like... This is weird to say, but it does like... You have people that are going to look after you forever. And sometimes I think about that. It sounds weird to say, and we all have it in some regard because community has been so important in how we develop and stuff. But for queer people, that is really important to have your chosen family, et cetera, because I need to know who's going to check me into the facility. Yeah. Me, me, me. Or just like...
end it girl no no bring me out of mice and men I would say the same thing to myself literally yeah I'd be like please just unplug it I don't want to do it once we get bad news let's commit to that yeah I'm telling you of mice and men
That's interesting. Like you want to be hugged to death. Yeah. Kill me like he killed her. Not like, not the shooting. Not the shooting. Just the hug. No, just kill me like the little mouse. Yes. I was thinking of. Hold me till you crush me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I was thinking of his mama that he shakes. Not me remembering of mice and men. My long term, I'm telling you, it's crack. That is good. It's a crack memory. It's a crack memory. I think.
I think if you make it to the finish line, which is check me into an assisted living facility, I've made it to like 78 or whatever. God willing. Yeah. Like that's, that's the prize. Yeah. I hope not. That's, that's like, that's the last tile on, on the game of life. You know what I mean? Literally. Yeah. But that being the prize does, that has to bum you out. It's such a bummer. But I'm saying it's nice. Like I, I don't totally disagree with what you guys are saying, which is like, just end it there. Yeah. Yeah.
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You know what is like absolutely, you could go crazy watching it, is Gutfeld on Fox, which is like the Fox late night show. It is the absence of comedy. There is nothing funny happening on it.
And yet the ratings are so through the roof that you almost have to wonder, it's like, are people watching it because it's like they feel it's like their political homework or just because they don't trust anything on anyone else? Just the thinnest premises you have ever seen. Like, it's hard to... Here's the problem. To write a good joke, a premise has to be true. You have to write a true premise to write a true punchline. Not that the punchline is supposed to be like true and factual, but like...
what we would consider a punchline. Yeah. I...
You cannot, it's, that job is going to be harder and harder to do because you're trying to write jokes about premises that are not true. Exactly. So, I mean, as long as everyone in that world is considering it to be true, I guess it works. It must work because his ratings are so big. They're so much bigger than any of. Right. And I was, but I was telling you that the ratings is more of a function of like it being embedded in other people's
other news programming on Fox. I hear you. Where like Daily Show could never get those numbers because it's on Comedy Central and no one's like keeping Comedy Central on all day and leaving it on at night. And I completely get that. But my thing is like, I mean, it's on, they're hearing it. And if there's nothing to challenge the idea that it's A, not comedy and B, also not true, then it's just on and they start to believe it. I think I'm just like,
really realizing more and more that we're just in two completely different silos and there's really nothing to be done about it. Yeah. There's nothing you can do. If you do care about like what is true, there are still journalists. They do exist. Yeah. Right. You know, like I have found that
Even just at Update, right, we get a setup. I have to turn around so often and be like, hey, is this something I should be freaked out about? Or is this a headline that sounds a lot scarier than it actually is? And most often, the answer is like, you don't need to worry about this until this and this and this happen. Right.
And who's telling you that? Che. Imagine. I go, the beacon of truth. Che's in the office? Yeah. Check into work? Check into work. What? We love you, Che. No, just Josh Patton, who studied political science. So smart. Oh, I didn't know that about Josh. Yes, yeah. We love Josh. He's so smart. And oftentimes, whenever I'm about to freak out, and it's hard for me to write a joke when I'm emotionally... Of course. Like, this is crazy. Yeah. He'll be like, ah...
it's not crazy for another three months. You know what I mean? And I'm like, okay, all right. So I can budget the amount of like fear that I have. But more often than not, you can like look this stuff up. You can find out like if it's true and if it's not. Right. But I love that Patton's telling you, oh, worry about bird flu in June. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He'll be like, it's not a problem until this happens. Yeah. Once eight million birds are dead, text phone. Right.
Okay. Oh, we're here. You know when I said June? Yes. We're thinking more April 15th. Yeah, yeah.
Like, I was so freaked out about the flu meeting getting canceled. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. And he was like, if it gets canceled in six months, then we're really in trouble. How does he know this? Because... Because of the major? Because of the major, I guess. He reads a lot. I literally just realized that I just went because of his major. Yeah. No, but that's an answer. Yeah, I guess. He is a very smart, funny guy. Well, he's also like, I mean, it is like,
He's engaged in it constantly to do... I'm actually fascinated by how Weekend Update works. Do you guys work the same week? We work the same week. We go in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. We go in and we do three to five pages of jokes a day. So we just get all these setups. And that goes out to everyone. I don't know really why. I don't know if anybody's... I know. The setups...
there's a setups file in the server. And like, I'm like, we shouldn't, I'm like, cast doesn't need access to this necessarily. Not really, but everyone does. Sometimes people use it. So I, I, I guess I truly speculation. Um, but we just write three to five pages of jokes a day by ourselves. And,
and then turn them in. And then on Friday and Saturday, we go through all of them once like Jost and Che have made their picks. We go through all of them. We tag each other's jokes up. We listen to them. We listen to the jokes that were picked back. And based off of like the reaction or the way that they feel saying them, it's like they kind of narrow it down from that for Saturday. And then Pete has like such a hard job because Pete has to like
sure that the show has different topics. Yeah. That it's covering a widespread and that things haven't been just blasted out already. That they're not telling jokes that have already been told. Like Colbert or Fallon. So I, his job is so hard. Yeah. I always think about his job. Pete Schultz also one
one of the kings of update... Yes. ...has to, like, really keep his ear to the ground in a way that, like, is hard. Yeah. And keep both hosts happy, making sure that they're getting the jokes that they want off, you know? And then what's the interaction between... I feel like I'm, like, asking questions of... No, I love it. I'm learning, too. Because Bowen is such a star on update, like, what is the interaction between people writing their updates and, like, the Weekend Update writing team? Is there... So, well, like, when Bowen comes in, he'll pitch something that's like, hey...
I'm thinking about doing the hippo, but like kind of making it off of like mapping it off of Chapel Roan. And we're like, great. Sounds done. Like that's just such a finished piece. You check it on Tuesday or Monday or Tuesday with the premise. Yeah. With the update. And you come in and you're like, this is the thing. And then you go write it. Right. Right.
Other times someone will come in and they're like, I want to do something that's kind of about this. And then we'll pitch on it and we'll help them. And like, right. And this is something that I actually didn't understand as a sketch writer on the sketch writing side is if you go into update and you're like, I have this idea for, for a feature, um,
It's not completely done. You can sit down and pitch with them. They will give you a full, like, we'll give you like two to three pages of jokes. And I don't see it often get into the thing. Well, sometimes it does, but...
it's hard for people to understand that we're there for that. You know what I mean? Because you just, in your brain, it's two different things, staffs. So you feel like you're just kind of chucking it, like just going back and forth. I've never said chucking it before. No, you're chucking it. You're done chucking it. Chucking it really works. You know, you're chucking it. We've just been sitting here chucking it. We've been chucking it. And, um,
I feel like when I say things about SNL, I forget. I lose my grasp on human language. I have no idea what words are when people ask me about it. And I also don't know what's safe to say. Like, I'll say things and then I'll immediately be like, well, that's it. I'm going to walk into the ocean. I am cooked. Yeah, it's over. But, so we're chucking it. We're chucking it.
We're back to chucking it. And you just think, oh, that's not really, they're not really pitching. Right. But we're totally pitching. You are. Yeah. You are. So...
There's that. I honestly need to take advantage of that more. Whenever you want. Come chuck it. Just so everyone's clear, Bowen is wearing a jewel tone legging and a beautiful Christian bracelet. So I know he's a Christian woman when he says this. And when he talks about his Lent piece that he was going to do. You can wear rhinestones on your vagina. And still serve Jesus. So these are flying off shelves. There's only three. On angel's wings.
Wait a minute. That's a tattoo. I thought you were about to pitch an update. I thought you were going to go on update as like a QVC person. Oh, that's fun. Oh, yeah. Has anyone ever done that? Probably.
Probably. Yeah, probably. In the 50 years of SNL, me thinking no one's ever done it. Kim Stewart Ortiz will go and sell like his fake product. I do love that. Always a blast. Yes. No, basically the character was a Lent mascot named Lenny. He was in a friar's outfit and he was like there to like whisper, sweet nothings about giving up swearing and alcohol. And then he got up to sing a song and then when he stood up like titty mags and cocaine and then he would fall out. Titty mags.
And then he would just be like, I like, I'm a monk who loves boobs, okay? I love it. It was very much in my voice as a boob lover. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway. Did anyone pitch that you stand up and there is no robe? Yes, wait, someone did pitch me that. The robe is a halter top? Okay.
See, I got to chuck it with y'all. We got to come chuck it. We got to come in there and chuck it. Okay, I'm going to chuck it in a different way now. We're going to ask you the central question of our podcast. This is the question. What was the culture that made you say culture was for you, Rosebud Baker? This is that thing that culturally it hinged you. Okay, so I did think about this before I got here. Thank you for that. Yeah, I did. I thought about it. And because a lot of culture I don't remember because I have blocked out most of my life. However...
I believe that dance movies. Yep. Center stage being the main one. And congrats, Zoe Saldana, on the Oscar. Yes, because...
Zoe Saldana putting a cigarette out with her pointe shoe sent shivers down my spine in a way where I was like, I can be cool and a girl. And like, I don't know if she's the one that got on the motorcycle, but she was in my mind. She was the one that got on the motorcycle with the ballerina that drove the motorcycle. And they had sex in his apartment with like floor to ceiling windows. They had the same windows as the friend's apartment.
Yeah, they did. That like completely unattainable thing that some people in New York were living in film and television at that time. Water ceiling windows. Yeah. And I think that just made me, that sort of turned me on in a way that, in a theater kid kind of a way. Which I have been, I would say closeted about for most of my life that I was a theater kid.
This is why you and Greta get along. Because you can both meet each other. Theater kids from D.C.? Yeah. Damn. That's the common thread. Yes. Two of our greats. Two of our greats that Greta Rose. So it was like anything that was based in New York City, like Rent, obviously, musical, Zoe Saldana putting out the cigarette with her pointe shirt. That image is very, it's formative. It's so, but I'm like, that was it. Yeah, that's huge. That was the moment where I was like,
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go to New York and I'm going to be an artist in New York. Yes. Oh, that's fun. And I was like... And have edge, but also like be driven. Yes. I'm going to have edge, but I'm going to like eat...
cotton balls for lunch to starve myself or whatever. Broccoli soup would be too filling. Yes. Ugh, I can't. Yeah, no. Yeah. Do you think that the genre have really fallen off? I just like, well, we need more of them. Like the last big ones were like Step Up. Do you want to know what? I think they sequelized them all too much. I think Step Up 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 15, 28. Once you dilute, it just feels like diluted. This isn't Toy Story. Right. Exactly. I mean, like, unless you're actually going to like
really make them different and change them. I feel like, honestly, they got over-franchised. Also, I think that if you follow the arc of any dancer, their career's going to end way before five movies. You gotta... You can't... Nobody wants to see a dancer after retirement. Not only just because, I guess, your body changes and gives... Not gives up, but is not able to do that. Your body's washed. Your body's washed. Your body's washed. After two years in Vegas hoofing it for...
Jay to the low. Yeah, shucking it with J-Lo. But then also like the lifestyle shucking it with J-Lo. The lifestyle I guess also was like, we can't keep doing this. I can't keep wearing a flat rim hat and doing Get Right. No, you can't. Absolutely not.
You'll kill yourself. Yeah. But I mean, like, where is our generation, this generation's like flash dance, showgirls, dirty dancing, like dance, is that what you're talking about when you're talking dance music? Yes, I'm talking about those dance music where people were having like, they were in high school and they were dancing up against each other. They were like,
They were on teams. They were fighting each other with dance. It was like, it was our West Side Story. Yeah. They literally did West Side Story, but I don't know what it was that it just didn't hit the culture because it was good. But the thing is like, you know where those dance moments popped out, which they haven't really done in a few years?
are those live musicals that they did. Like the Grease live musical that they did on Fox. That was exactly what like Julianne Hough was like made to do. And I'm like, why isn't she the huge, like old Hollywood star of these types of movies? It's because they don't make them anymore. Yeah.
I think that people have gotten to, this is just a theory, but I think we've gotten too invested in the villain running the story. Like the anti-hero. The dark other side. We all love the anti-hero. Yeah. You know? And I think we all sort of leaned into the anti-hero with Tony Soprano and Breaking Bad and all these. And all of a sudden we were like,
a dancer who wants to make something of herself. Right. You know, it just didn't... I think we all have just leaned too far into that. So much so that we, oops, made one the president. Right, right, right, right, right. I'm like, let's just get back to, like...
Fun dance movies. Fun dance movies. I think that... It actually speaks to my I Don't Think So Honey from the other week, which was, I need to see animated movies, Disney, whatever, for kids, where the villains die really bad deaths. Yes. Because they used to do it all the time and they got afraid because it's not just...
anti-heroes that we're obsessed with, also protagonists who are complicated. And the actual, the villain is what's inside. Right. It's her insecurity. Right. It's the fact that she has a weird identity she hasn't come to grips with. That's the villain of the story. It's like, no, give me a fucking one-eyed,
- A total bitch coming in here who wants to kill. TK, TK, it was puppies for Cruella de Vil. They would never do that now. - They would never do that now. - There would never be a woman dressed in the animal she killed anymore. Not for kids. - No. - We've had too much. Like these are, if these are the three stories, man versus nature, man versus man, man versus himself. - Right. - We've had too much man versus himself. - I'm over it. - Enough with man versus himself. - No.
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This is the new dance movie that we're all going to write. It's the TikTok dance movie. It's people at a high school. They're all competing for TikTok dances or something, some bullshit like that. And then they find out the real villain is the algorithm or something. Oh, I love that. Or the guy running the TikTok cult that they're in. Yeah. Yeah.
But here's the thing. We need to reveal in the movie that the algorithm actually is a person with one eye dressed in all dogs. He's a killer. And we have to watch him be pushed into lava. Get pushed into lava, but it's not enough. He's like coming out of the lava and like crocodiles who can swim in lava rip him apart and we watch it.
But first, he comes out of the lava with the dog costume and he's wearing a crocodile. He's in the mouth and he's like, guess what? I'm wearing this too. It needs to be a four minute death scene. Like what we did to Mikey Madison in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. She didn't deserve that. Some of these villains deserve that. Well, actually, she was in the Manson family. She did deserve that. She did deserve that. And she was also a ghost face. She got stabbed in the eye.
Mikey Madison has burnt to death in two out of, I guess, her three films. Ghostface and Once Upon a Time. Yeah. Can I be honest? I did not watch all of Once Upon a Time. I do like certain scenes from it, but mainly I just remember Brad Pitt on a roof. Right. Because I did take a photo of the screen in the movie theater, which was insane. Yeah, I mean, he's a good man, looks good in a lot of positions. But I was alone in the movie theater. It's not okay. I was literally like...
That's even better to do. If I'm alone in the movie theater, my phone is out. I'm not watching. I shouldn't have come. Like, I'm telling you. Like, it's... For sure. Like, it's really bad. Sometimes I'll pick a movie that I know no one is going to be there for just so I can go to text in a dark room. That's amazing. I don't know what that is. You know, I used to do that when I was having a really bad day. I would get a karaoke room by myself. Oh, that's good. And sing by myself. That's amazing. What were you chucking it on? Just...
Just chucking it to like the hardest ones, you know, just like trying to belt out a Whitney Houston. Good. Just give it a shot. Totally. Vocally push yourself. It wasn't a place where you could like, you know, rap hard. It wasn't a place for like whatever. It was about pushing yourself vocally. Yes. It was like, I just want to, I don't feel my, my, uh, my sponsor, my therapist. I'm like, there's a lot of, there's a team. The care team. There's the care team. My, my therapist sponsor, uh,
Yeah. He was like, you need to like yell in a pillow every once in a while. That's good. Because I was telling him how much I related to Walton Goggins in this season of White Lotus. And he was like, yeah, you should probably like yell into a pillow about that. But like, I don't feel comfortable yelling into a pillow because that's insane. So if I go into a karaoke booth by myself, also insane, but fun. But fun. And also so much of why it exists. Yeah.
Yeah. Have you ever booked one of those rooms? I think they still have them in New York where it's just like old printers and TVs. And then you have, you take a job camera and you just like, it's like your office space. Yeah. I've seen a lot of people do that and I wanted to do it so badly, but I was pregnant at the time and I was like,
This is when I actually need this and it's not safe. And it's not safe. Now, if you would like, let's all go. Let's do it. I think all of SNL should go. Yes. That would be amazing. Yes. Oh my God. Yes. You know what I mean? Maybe like while they go to the host dinner or something. Yeah. Like you guys just go skip out on a Tuesday. Just take an hour and a half to go like. Yes.
like truly hammer down on these things. It helps. It really does. It would almost like, I'll watch that story about Larry David, like yelling at Dick Ebersole. I'll just watch that when I'm in. Just the story. Just the story. And I'll just, you know, of him just yelling and saying this and everybody watching and then him storming out. And then I just like, stop it. I don't even watch the, how he showed back up on Monday. I'll just be like, yeah.
Good for you. You know, when I'm in a mood. Totally. But it actually is a thing. I've never really thought about channeling my anger in that way. I know those rooms exist. It was like a couple weeks ago, I was working out and the guy who trains me, we were doing this thing where like he would throw a ball to me and I would twist and throw the ball back and I had to throw it as hard as I could. Yeah. And all of a sudden I was like, wow, this is like the best and most alive I've felt. So literally yesterday in the shower, do you know what I thought? I was like, what if I just went and tried like boxing? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Not with another person. Just literally just like hitting a bag. Like, I actually think I could get into that because I didn't understand. And one of the things I've actually realized in my own therapy over the past few years, and I think we share this, is like actually how much anger I have about some things. Oh, my God. And it's really very useful in like a...
The way your voice... What happened with your voice when you said, really? No. Really? No, no. I'm telling you. He even said something about it at the trainer. He was like, oh, wow. Like, you have some aggression. And I was like, yeah, I think it's really becoming apparent right now. But I thought to myself, like, what if I just go...
punch something in a productive way. But I do think it's a slippery slope. Boxing to MMA to Rogan. You don't see me going MMA Rogan though. No, but sometimes I wonder if the two literally are, if it's unavoidable. Yeah. Like no matter who you are starting out, I worry. Right.
Yeah. If one day we'll all end up at just different eras at MMA. It'd be so funny if you started boxing and within a year you were like straight. Living in Austin, twirling on a cigarette as a slur. Twirling on a cigarette. It went from hey mama in the park to you're a faggot in a real way living in Austin. Listen, anything's possible. Spinning on a cigarette. Yeah.
Why is that the way that I think that's the most masculine thing? Which it is. We're not disagreeing with you. I'm like, what is wrong with me? And I'm like, ooh, spin on it. Yeah. I'm really into like, I think it's Zoe Saldana that did it to me. So then when you moved to New York, did that feeling wash over you of like, I'm Zoe?
It definitely washed over me. Like it does for all of us at some point. Obviously, at some point, I was like, I am Zoe. But more so than, I was like an amalgamation of these characters where it's like, which is hilarious because I was just like,
20 with a drinking problem. But I did feel like I was like, I'm a little bit rent. I'm a little bit center stage. I'm a little bit sex in the city. I'm a little bit friends. I thought I was all of those things. And truth be told, I was none of those things. I lived in a railroad in Greenpoint, the worst part of Greenpoint with my
X and his metal band. Oh boy. So they were actually living there? They were living there. Rehearsing there? They were rehearsing there. Damn, that's tough. They were, yeah, it was, it was tough because I do hate, I hated their music, but I do hate metal in general. But I hated their music.
And... Were you honest about that? I wasn't because I, truth be told, it was that or rehab. So I was like, I have to... I'm like, he like promised my family he would take care of me because I was supposed to go to rehab and I sort of like did it. I bamboozled. Yeah. Wow. And...
Worth it. Yeah. No, I definitely took my parents' money and I told them I would buy a ticket to D.C. to go to rehab and instead I stopped off in New York and I got off the plane and I moved in with my ex and his...
I didn't know this about you. That is the Rosebud Baker story. So insane. Very Zoe. Very Zoe. Literally the energy of ballerina slipper. Yeah, very Zoe, but bloated and alcoholic. And had not moved a muscle in terms of dance. Oh my God. Yeah. Everybody who moves to New York, it doesn't matter who you are. There's some piece of media. I didn't, whatever. I'm not saying anything new, but that like you just...
are fantasizing about. And you think you're living. Yeah. For guys, it's like, I don't know.
taxi driver or something. Maybe. I don't know. I will say that is a theater guy. That is a theater straight guy's version of a New York City life. Right. And then for like women and gay guys, it's Sex and the City. Sex and the City. Yes. But then, so Girls hit when we were like at the end of college, like slash getting out of college and we were like, oh wow, this is like the literal version of what it is. Yes. The Greenpoint metal band is very girls. Very girls. I was actually Hannah. You were? Yeah. Wow.
Wow. I was, Hannah, having terrible sex in an apartment with a boyfriend that was building things. Yeah. For no reason. I'm like, there's nothing to be built. It's a rental. I can't get over that Adam Driver went from playing the weirdest fuckboy in Brooklyn to Kylo Ren.
And you know what's even weirder is that he was hotter to me as the weirdest. 100,000%. I think that that was the, that was honestly one of the top three things that made that show successful. Yeah. Was the debate. Yes. Just how reasonable it was that this was the hottest guy all around. All you wanted was for them to end up together. So weird. Do I have like lipstick?
- Like caking? - Nope. - Okay. - You look perfect. - But what is it lately about, I feel the same way my lips have been like, I'm so conscious of my lips lately. - I know, 'cause if a gross lip is really something that you live with like, it's like bad breath. - There's nothing worse. No, gross lip is worse than bad breath. It's rule of culture number 19. Gross lip is worse than bad breath.
Yeah, I guess so. Mine just chaps the same spot and I peel from the same spot constantly. Mine gets mealy in the corners. Mealy? Oh, God. I'm really sorry. That was so disgusting. I feel the need to like turn to everyone here and say I'm so sorry. No, I'm glad you said it because that's what I'm worried about right now. I wasn't thinking about it.
until you said it and now I'm self-conscious about it, but let's just live in this together. And if you have Mac, like Mac lipstick is like, it's great for stage or whatever, but it does, it just cakes. It clumps the cake. You're like, ugh. Damn. I don't want to have a cake on my lip. Anyway, we were talking about Adam Driver being hot. Well, I mean, and
And also, it's funny that you say they were having bad sex because I remember this must have just been my acceptable experience at the time. But I was like, is what they're doing really hot? Because remember when he, because he dated, started dating Shiri Appleby in the show and then he like made her crawl around on the floor and he like came on her tits and she was like, I don't like this. Yes. And I was like, oh, he has that weird sex that he loves with Hannah. Yeah. And I hadn't,
even, I guess, that was like why the show was so great too. You needed the character to point out that it was weird, label it as weird? No, it was just like, it was, I guess what I was latching onto was I was like, there's really different modes of this. There's no such thing as like good sex and bad sex. It's like your sex is your sex. And this guy, his weird stuff like works for her. Like I was never worried for her.
Right. It just seemed like she was in a position where they were figuring it out sexually, but I was never worried for Hannah. Right, no, ever. I felt like it was odd to me because I was like, oh, this is a guy who genuinely loves her, wants to care for her, just loves her. Yeah. And for some reason,
it's like sexually, he's like into this shit, you know? And she kind of always seemed a little bit like, I guess. Yeah, you're right. And that was the part of it that felt bad. Because I always felt like Hannah was going like, sure, you know, it was always, she literally would like shrug her shoulders as consent. And then they'd be like, yeah, cool. But it was that. I mean, that's why I got to say, like when I was watching Girls,
And then I think it was like Me Too a few years after that. Yeah. And I was like rewatching it. And I was like, well, this is half of my sexual experience. Right. As like, as just a person that grew up when I did. Yeah. So I'm like, so does everything. I literally called my therapist. I was like, I actually just don't have the bandwidth for this. Yeah. Your therapist said that or you said that? No, I said that. I was like, I don't have the bandwidth to break all this down. I'm just going to kind of push this down. Oh, fun. Yeah. I hear you. Okay. Wow.
Wow. It's like, what were we okay with? And what were we just like, oh, I guess this is what sex is. Like, I'll submit to whatever this is, despite the fact that like, because I guess what it was for me is it was like, well, this person that I'm having sex with can't have like a real relationship with sex in a way I don't, like a proclivity towards this thing he wants to do. I guess we're just both figuring out and it must be fine. Yeah. And then, yeah, wow. And sometimes you meet somebody and you're like, well, I was never into this before, but I guess I kind of am with you. Like, you don't, you never know. And then you're like,
It's just, it's sort of a mystery that I'm going to leave unsolved. Yeah. Yeah. You know. But like, that show kind of portrayed it in a way that I think we probably hadn't seen before. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. In a serialized way, like, oh, you can track like, the sex that Adam was having with this character is not the same as the sex he was having with Hannah, and therefore that is... Yes. This weird sort of... Questionable... Yeah. Whatever. They definitely didn't do that in Sex and the City. It was always like, fun! Yeah.
I know the sex scenes in Sex and City, when you rewatch them back, you're like, no. It's like, that's not even, it doesn't even look right. No. It wasn't even staged. All the Samantha stuff is just like, huh? Huh? I don't know. What I loved about Girls was like, it never made an attempt almost ever
ever to make sex look hot or good. Yes. It was always weird. It was always absurd, odd, and clanky. Yeah. And like that was the whole thing with Adam and Jessa too, right? Like the first time they fucked it was terrible and they were so positive it would be good. Right. And then it eventually does get good and they get on the same page. But like those two characters having bad sex was so...
It was such a moment in that show. Yeah. They were chucking it. Yeah, they were really chucking it back and forth. Chucking it is title of that. That's what it is. Chucking it. It's not, hey, mama. It's chucking it. It could be chucking it with mama. Chucking it with mama. Chucking it with mama might be... That's the winner.
People are going to be like, what's this going to be? They're chucking it. They're chucking it with mama. They're going to find out. We're chucking it. We're clanking it. I think I said clanking a second ago. Yeah. When I was talking about the sex in girls, I said clanking. Yeah. Which it does actually work. It's clanking. It's very Judy Garland, Meet Me in St. Louis. Yeah. Clang, clang, clang. Clang, clang, clang. Wait. It's Scarecrow meets Tin Man. Yeah. Imagine if they fucked the beat.
terrible. I would watch. I would watch. The Scarecrow and the Tin Man. I'd Google it. Yeah. I want to click the link. I'd chat to you. I'd click the link. Whenever he sees two hot guys in a picture together, he goes, I'd click the link. That's funny, actually. That's really funny. That is so... Oh, God. I'd click the link. I'd click the link. He said it's about a picture of me and someone else the other day. I was like, not you. Clicking my link.
Not me responding to a picture of the baby with that later today. Click the link. I clicked the link. Oh my God. They're like, no, that's not how you do it. I was watching, Denise Richards has a new reality show on Bravo. It's like, Denise Richards, like, yeah,
Not on Housewives, but, and she was talking about like her daughter joined OnlyFans. And she kind of couldn't really say anything because like she had Hollywood and was doing like wild things, et cetera. And they have a different- But then Erica brought it up. Right. And so, yes. And so, but now on the show, it's like, they're explaining it more. And the daughter, Sammy, was like, well, it would have been fine had you not joined right after.
because Denise was like, well, then I joined OnlyFans because I didn't want my daughter doing it alone. Like, I want her to feel, like, empowered about it. Okay, Denise. Okay, Denise. And then the daughter was like, do you know how embarrassing it is for me to have to explain to my friends, like, why you're on OnlyFans? And it's just so funny that culturally that's where we're at. Like, mom, I do porn. Yes.
Porn is my thing. Let me do porn by myself. Mom, why do you always have to do porn after me? I know. I was doing porn for years before you, but I understand why you're upset, honey. Okay, I do need to watch this show. I actually, I texted all of them. I was like, newsflash, I just want to say, I just want to knock on the door and say, Denise Richards is giving something on the reality show. You clicked the link. I clicked the link. On Peacock.
I'd like the link. Yeah. Rosamund, any housewives thoughts you want to get off your chest? Yeah. What's up? I have so many. I have so many. I feel like I'm really, I've never loved Sutton. I'll be honest. We're having a hard time. But you're loving her. I've no, no, no. Oh. I've never loved her. Yeah. But now I am like, you are an evil, evil person. She's the villain. Or at the very least, she's just broken.
You know what I mean? Okay, well, that's generous, but yes. I've said evil too in the past. Yes. I just, watching her sit across from Dorit and do this,
Oh, the wallet thing really bothered me. Like with the eyes, I was like, calm down. You look like Ramona. Yeah, it was giving Ramona a bit. Control your face. Also, if the insult was about like wealth in a way that was like attractable or actually funny, that would be one thing. But it's like, you need to fight with someone whose wallet fits. It's like, well, a wallet doesn't,
fit the premise has to be true yeah the premise has to be true and I'm just like and then like it was so easy to dunk on her because the rest of the women were just like Kyle said in the after show she was like well then we have to talk about where you actually got your money which is from a divorce right period thank you so that's just it and I was like do you feel this backed into a corner or are you just that mean
Because I think she is that mean. Yeah, I think she is that mean because she's never been backed into a corner once that I've seen. I'm like, except somebody maybe said something about her drinking, but it's like, hello, that's the job. Yeah, but also she there were things to say about her drinking. Yeah. I remember the show one time like they saw they showed her pouring like a huge cocktail in the middle of the day and on the bottom handle of the bottom thing it said 1145 a.m. Yeah, it was like the show was pointing it out. You're
You're like, okay, well, maybe don't do that on camera. Yeah, or if you're going to, yeah, exactly. If you're going to do it on camera, expect that one of your castmates whose job it is to say something like this may say something like this. And the whole show, the whole premise of the show, and this is why the logic of it gets so depressing if you really start to think about it, is like you are putting your life
out there. Yes. And you're going to get torn apart. Yes. And that's kind of what we do with Housewives. It's fun to do. We feel better about ourselves doing it. Yeah, yeah. And it's fucked up, but it's sort of the last, like, dark, disgusting habit, I think, of, like, this part of culture where it's like, it's,
Listen, let's enjoy it while it lasts. It's WWF for women and gays. Yes. Absolutely. 100%. And I will say when I did, because I have publicly spoken against Bronwyn on Salt Lake. And I met her finally at the SAG Awards.
And then we had this lovely moment and I explained myself and I apologized for all these terrible things that I had said. Yeah. I said, you are ultimately a fantastic mother. She like shows up to all these rallies where she's supporting her trans kids. Yeah. And then, and then she goes,
Bowen, I can take it. This is what I signed up for. I love you no matter what you say. And I'm like, oh, that's actually such a transcendent attitude about it. That's what I love about Bronwyn. That is what I love about her. I kind of, that was the vibe. At least I was like, I feel like it's the same vibe off camera. Yeah. You know, whereas Sutton, it's, I'm getting, it's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I was just going to say, yes. You know? It's Jekyll and Hyde for sure. And I feel like Dorit is,
I'm really loving Dorit this season. I'm loving her kind of like snapping back and getting mad and just, I'm just enjoying that. Yeah, because it's real. It's real. That's ultimately what it is. It's like the authenticity is kind of, it's like she does, she has no more fucks to give because it's kind of like, you know, this job now, the housewives, is now like,
you know, she doesn't have to like think about like what her husband's going to think or like pretend at all. She's like, oh, this is the place where I can be in my most authentic now. It's not, but I don't have to wait to fight with my husband behind closed doors. Right. Okay, great. Then I'll just say what I feel. Yeah. And she'll be like, hey,
Anyway, she's a cunt. I'm like, yes. Like, I love that she's like, she's like a good mom. She's sweet to her kids. I love the way she talks to her children. I was never talked to like that. I mean, my mom was like very sweet and loving and kind, but she didn't call us like little peanuts. And like the little nicknames that- Yes. Yes. Yes. Peanut.
He just has like the cutest little nicknames for them. And I just think that's really sweet. But I mean, who knows? They'll probably grow up to resent her for it. Well, I mean, if it's not that, it's definitely the show at large. Oh, I was a television star at what age and I didn't know? Uh-huh. Yeah. That. Did you guys watch Potomac? Yes. Stacey Rush is his everything. Stacey Rush is my everything. Stacey Rush is so funny. And I want to say,
I believe her. I believe her too. Really? Yes. Thank you for saying that. I believe her. Because TJ has clearly shown himself to be like a bad person. Yeah. Why would I believe this man? Why would you believe him? What about him even read as even a teensy bit believable? Right. And I believe that she's like heartbroken over the fact that like this guy who, whatever it means to her or to us, her best friend would then betray her and go on and like tell
tell the man like, oh, she was paying me to be her boyfriend the whole time. Like that would be a heartbreaking thing. And she would not know how to she she was probably in shock in that moment and did not know how to explain that because it's such a hurtful thing. No, I feel like the way that she handled it, I was like, you
you guys are just making her look more innocent. Yeah. And still I rise. And still I rise. It was a moment in culture history. Yes. But I will also say, I think it's somewhere in the middle. I think she did not offer to pay him, but it was fake and staged. Sure. I think the whole thing was fake and staged. Whether or not, like, they made an agreement that money would change hands, I can...
understand why you guys think that definitely didn't happen. But I do think that they either did not know each other. I don't even believe that they were best friends. I believe that he was flown in because he was like wanting to do it. He probably was, you know, two-faced to her as well. Like, I just don't believe it was real. I just think once the show was out, he could not handle the humiliation. Yeah.
of people being like, well, he's clearly forgot the other. He's for the streets and for the guys. Right. And so you probably needed to retaliate in some way, which is to embarrass her. Right. And he did it in a very...
may I say, homosexual way. Yes. By calling into the reunion? By calling into the reunion and being like, run me my money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, now you're just stirring the pot. It felt like a flavor I recognized. Yeah, he was dropping tea. He's dropping more tea. He was. He was chucking it. Yeah, he was chucking it. He actually chucked it into the reunion. And then when Eddie got first chair, I was like,
Thank God. Thank God. I love Eddie. Eddie's hot. Eddie's a hot guy. And Wendy had an amazing reunion. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, she did. What do you guys think of, I don't know why her name's... Thank you. Gotta go. Right? It's time. It's curtains. It's gotta go. We're done. I think she probably is because the thing is like,
You can't really just... I mean, she literally just left. And I know Andy hates that. Yeah. Right. Like, in a punitive, like, way? I think so. I also think if it wasn't so clear that that storyline is, like, circulatory now and has run its course, and also I do think we've seen all of her tricks in terms of, like, funny things she can say, do, etc. Yeah. I think we can lose Mia. And also I think...
I think she's just like a straight up villain. Yeah. Like I think it's, you see the good sides of every housewife and you love the good sides of them as well. With Mia, it's just getting harder and harder to understand like where's the, where's the side of you that's really, I mean, walking off for her kids, if I were to believe that that was, I think it was partly why she walked off. I believe that. But like,
walking off was like maybe the most redeemable thing she did where I'm like, okay, yeah, stand up for, get out of there if you're not. But the problem is I've seen so much of her behavior is like,
sort of mean-spirited or manipulative that now it's hard for me to believe that when she does something redeemable, it actually is for the right reasons. Sorry to use ABC language. No, no, no. Bachelor language. Bachelor language. She... Yeah, her walking off is a redeemable thing, but she still walks off. At the end of the day, she's still...
is pulling away from the whole thing in a way that you're like, well, then you don't, then you can't, then you shouldn't be here. Yeah. And you're in that position because you did this to your children. Right. Like, it's like, yeah, sure, you're walking off because not my kids, but it's like, we wouldn't have a not my kids situation had you not brought,
broken the news of the divorce to the kids on camera. Yeah, it just doesn't really math for that to be the thing that's like, as if Giselle had crossed the line. And trust me, like, I don't have love for Giselle Bryant. But my thing is like,
She's expressing her views on it, which were a lot of the viewers' positions, which was, we can't really believe you went about it that way. I'm going to say, I kind of do like Giselle. That's okay. And that's an opinion. And that's an opinion. And we're just chucking it. We're just chucking it around. I'll chuck it with Giselle. I would. Here's the thing. I think she is...
She's a Debbie Downer for sure. But I do relate. Giselle? Yes. As a Debbie Downer. I do relate. My problem with Giselle is when she stirs the pot for no reason. For no reason. That's the thing. I don't think she's not a compelling person. I actually think she soars when she's dealing with something personal or with her family, et cetera. I thought that... You're so psychotic to throw them out of that. Oh, so crazy. Get in the van. Yeah.
I mean, they got there. I feel like when she seemed genuinely concerned for Karen, I was like, this is the kind of thing that like, you know, not everyone can do on television. Like I do think like, and she wouldn't be on television for this long if there wasn't a lot there. It's the very transparent producing that I don't like. And I don't like it when anyone does it. Yeah, she does do that. She does do that a lot. And the Karen stuff. I do feel like Giselle probably produces a lot in her own life though.
That's interesting. I'm like, you're a producer in general. Yeah. Because her life is kind of like a reality show anyway. Yeah. With what's his face? Oh, Jamal Bryan. Jamal with Jamal Bryan. Yeah. The guy. The guy. Soapy, soapy, soapy. Yeah. I don't know. I've gotten really into Beverly Hills this year and I did enjoy Potomac. I kind of dipped off at the end, but I did tune in for the reunion. Yeah.
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Hey, readers. It is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO. You know, on Lost Culture Recess, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests. Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs.
From dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us. Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go. You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom.
For six decades, they've been each other's most trusted counsel, and now they want to be that counsel for you. So if you want to know about the culture that made Michelle and Craig say culture is for them, check out IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, wherever you get your podcasts.
You know what? I'll do it for I Don't Think So, Honey. Okay. Yeah. It's time for I Don't Think So, Honey. This is our one-minute segment where we rail against something in culture. Yes. Rosebud's a vet. Wait, mine is going to be controversial. Okay.
Wait, so is mine. Yeah, because mine is Housewives related and it's going to be controversial because I don't... I'm so excited. And it might get me a little bit in trouble, but I'm going to do it anyway. Okay. Yeah, okay. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Hating on Portia Williams for the stealing the man thing.
I feel like we don't know what happened. And I feel like the thing with Portia is I believe that she is a bleeding heart. And I believe that she is really susceptible to men and their manipulation. And that is not... Sure, it's a character flaw, but it's not an evil thing about her. I think when people are like, she's a homewrecker, fuck her. I hate...
I hate the homewrecker label because I think it sort of gets across like an evil person that wants to ruin lives. I do not think that's who Portia Williams is. I think that she was in a situation where, sure, she had met a woman's husband on television and then they got divorced. I think...
a lot can actually happen in 18 days. Maybe you're not a manic Pisces at home, but I can tell you a lot can happen in two or three days. I've been in situations I didn't want to be in, but my feelings and my heart were telling me one thing. And I think it can happen when you are Portia Williams or Matt Rogers. And if you are, give us our identities back.
But I don't think so, honey, condemning her for this thing, which obviously didn't work out. She's also paying for it now. I don't think so, honey, this attitude. And that's one minute. Lovely. That's how I feel. Like, I feel like, of course, when I heard that Portia had gotten with Simon Goubadia, who's Fallon Goubadia's ex-husband, like that soon after, I was like, wow, that sounds like a really weird situation. But I just don't like it when people are like,
fuck her, homewrecker, et cetera. There must have been cheating, et cetera. It's like, you don't know. A lot could have happened in that two and a half weeks afterwards. Oh my God. And matters of the heart are complicated. I got engaged in three days during the pandemic. There you go. That's what I'm saying. But some of us cannot sit home alone. Yes. Yes. Love that. It was really that short. It was three days. The engagement was three days? No, no, no. We got engaged within three days. Wow. Like pandemic lockdown started three days later. That's chic. See, this is what I'm saying. That's great. It's like,
You know how we'll know she's a villain? If she shows up on the show with one eye and she wears a cape made of dogs and someone pushes her into the lava. In this world where villains look like villains from now on. Please. One-eyed bitches. My thing is, there's real villains out there. One of them is president. Let's not waste energy on Portia Williams. Let her ruin her own life if she's going to do it. It's episode one, too. I
I am saying it had an amazing premiere and Shamia Morton is now like the center of the show. And I didn't know that she really could carry that center. But I said kudos to them for making that swing because it paid off. It's she's I didn't realize that she had
had all of that going on. Yeah. But she's going to be really fun to watch. I can't wait. I need to watch it too. You're doing a Housewives one too? Yes. No, no, no, no. I'm not doing Housewives. Okay, so you'll go next. I'll do one anyway because I have an idea now. Okay, good. This is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. Time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Ashley Darby because you know who might have also paid for her significant other? Ashley Darby. Who is that guy? Who is...
is that guy? And she can't even take a joke about how he does look like Jack Harlow. And even if he doesn't, Wendy still made a fun joke. The premise has to be true. The premise is he looks like Jack, Jack, what's, Jack Harlow. And I mean, Ashley Darby, the nonsense you pulled this season, you received
so far into the background this season that I forgot you were even on the damn show. You didn't deserve to sit that close to Andy at the reunion. And you should have owned up to the lies you did spread about Eddie because even though that did not come from you, you helped
bring it to a national platform on the show. And you need to take some accountability for that. I've never found you funny, never found you cute. You look good in drag, I guess, as a man. But otherwise, I don't care for your antics anymore. If you can even call it that. Congratulations on your divorce being finalized. But even that situation is very telling about the kind of person you are. And that's one minute. Also, the one thing you missed.
the kissing with Jacqueline. Kill me. Oh my God. It was so stupid. It was so dumb and fake and staged. It was so insane. Tell me you're the most desperate people in the world without telling me. Yes. The way she walks in, she's like, so. I've never seen you two talk. No, never. I've literally never seen you in the same room. The absence of attraction to each other. Yes. Truly. You know what that was giving was Ashley knowing she had no storyline and that the Jack Carlow thing is like not real. Yeah. And also Jacqueline being like,
something that's not Mia? Yes, I'll do it. What are you going to do? Kiss? We should fuck? And then Ashley being like, no, we don't need to fuck. Yeah, totally, totally, totally. Yeah, totally. Anyway, I'm busy getting ready. Just think about being a human and like walking into that thing with the camera on you and having that stupid interaction. I was like, they called the camera guys into that bathroom. I've done student films that were actually less sad.
And we're going to show them right after this. Tune in. Okay, this is Rosebud Baker's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. Okay, I Don't Think So Honey, Severance Season 2's pacing. You guys have the audacity to keep us waiting two years only to drop one episode. Like this is Network Television 1997. I Don't Think So Honey. We are not on the severed floor, okay? We remember what you did to us last time. I Don't Think So Honey.
We are five episodes in and what do we have to show for it? A little espionage, a little cryptic workplace dread. That is a Tuesday for us. Yes.
Okay. Where is the momentum? What happened? Where's the, what the hell just happened energy that we just signed up for? Because right now, honey, it feels like I'm sitting through a corporate training video and the pacing. I've had actual miscarriages move faster. Okay. The whole show is just walking, staring, whispering, cryptic nonsense. Like the baby goats, bitch. What about the go?
What about that? And I swear if one more character just stares at something for a full 15 seconds instead of saying something, I'm going to throw my Apple TV remote into the ocean. Okay, I don't know. There's so much more. I just, I don't think so. And that's one minute. But continue on with your thoughts. Can I? Yes, because literally, what else do you have? I have so much more. I literally am like, I have a lot of feelings about this because I've stuck with it until last episode where there was like four
bottle episodes in a row? Are you kidding me? It feels like people are starting to bail. I'm getting upset. And I, listen, if they can land the plane, God bless them. I will be blown away. I trust them to land the plane just because it feels like its moments of greatness are so great. But I would agree. I had a really hard time with the first season because sometimes... The pacing on that was also, yeah. Patricia Arquette literally went to an old...
friend turned enemy who did not want anything to do with her was like, please, I need to borrow your truck. He's like, no, why would I give you my truck? She gets in the truck. He's like, okay, yeah, I'll drive you somewhere. Then...
She gets out. She's like looking for something that she literally contacted a past friend turned enemy for. Walks into the house to go look for it and fucking takes a six hour nap. Yeah. Looks for it for two minutes, takes a six hour nap. I was like, what? So what is, what are you looking for? What should I be paying attention to? We'll have to hope it pays off. For me, the second season just needs a lot more Patricia Arquette. Yeah. Like that was one of the great things about the first season. I agree. They needed a lot more Patricia Arquette.
I mean, what they gave us of Patricia is, I'm not happy because she's amazing. Yeah. And she was so good when she was like, just female rage behind the wheel of a car. I love that. I love a woman on the verge. Yes. You know, and then this whole episode, this whole thing where she's, they're trying to explain what her whole deal is with Lumen. Yeah. And also why the, why does everybody talk so fucking stupid? Yeah.
What is this? They're severed. Just say one sentence like a human being. I mean, that's part of why I love that the character... Zach Cherry's character? Yes. Yeah. The normal guy. He's just like, what's up, guys? Yeah. Instead, they're like, we're going to tend the garden. What garden? What garden? What tending? Where even is that? Yeah. And what about the baby goats? And what about the...
fucking trap door or whatever I don't care is it feeling losty for some well I think I think well it's interesting like I've actually heard that a lot of people that are watching Severance and absolutely loving it are really not liking White Lotus and I think that you've heard a lot of the same things about them both being slow so and then my friend said Whitaker said this the other day he went to go watch um White Lotus with a bunch of our friends who love Severance and
And he said they were watching White Lotus like, that's a clue. That's a clue. That's a clue. And I'm like, oh, so I get it. It's like some people want to watch this like it's like a puzzle. And other people want to watch it like it's like a satirical comedy. Like it's gossip. Exactly. And so I am give me gossip. Give me my delicious little... That's so funny because I literally thought when Helena came in, I was like, good on her because...
The way that I would have been fired for sexual misconduct on day two at that office just for trying to make something happen in that crab ass indie world. I'm like, God bless. She's the only person that's made anything happen. But I just think it's like, it's funny that these two shows are on at the same time and like the water cooler shows of the moment. And they obviously come out week to week, which, you know, forbids people from binging them. And I think it has something to do with our attention spans that we're saying slow. But also the fact is like,
I guess when there's a lack of prestige elsewhere, we'll just sit and have to wait. I just think two of them are offering two different things. Severance is a puzzle and White Lotus is like a prestige soap. Well, Severance needs to release all three of the last episodes together because honestly, I need to be able to speed it up myself because if it's appointment television and I'm falling asleep in the middle of every episode. Right. That's a problem. I mean,
I will say I'll take 50% of the... That's my life. Yeah, right, right, right. But like, come on. Come on. Come on. Yeah. Whiz bang something. Yeah. It's a lot of stuff lately. We just watched a movie that was... It promised more action than it delivered. And I'm like, well, then...
I don't know. I think people would sign up for something that was like a slow burn thing. But it is nice to say it before I get it. I am a White Lotus girl, though. I love White Lotus. It's funny that you said that because I didn't realize I was like... I don't even think it's moving slow. It's just, it's funny the people that are saying it's moving too slow are the puzzle people. Who are watching it, who love a show that is moving, that is in fact moving too slow. Yes. I'm going to say something. And this is just the next...
of what I've been saying for years. Chuck it. Chuck it. Netflix has been doing this. I would encourage other streaming platforms to do this. 1.5 speed. 1.5. 1.5 speed. 1.75 speed. Even 1.25. Wait. No. No. You're anti this? No. Of course, I understand. I understand if you're anti. I used to be anti this.
Why is it a bridge too far for you to walk through it? That makes me so sad. I know, I know, but... Because we are watching television, we are not reading. Fine, fine. You're right. Actually, that's a great, great argument. You know what it reminds me of? Okay, it reminds me of like when I was drinking, right? I would... If a friend was like concerned with my drinking, I would adjust...
I would adjust my life to make way for my drinking. If we start that with TV, if we start adjusting our lives to make up for our short attention spans, that is a very slippery slope. Okay, you're right. I take it back. You know what, though? I will say... It's scary. What about for the mind... So yes, for something like Prestige, like these shows we're talking about, yes, that's art. It is paced. It's edited. It's specifically made for whatever. But the pace is relative, and that's why I think 1.5 is fine.
Anyway, initially, but now I take it back. But I used to really get upset when people said they listen to this podcast at like 1.5, 1. Sometimes 1.75. A, how are you doing that with us? How? That must sound crazy. Like I'm in my brain all the time and I don't want to be in your brain all the time. Like I am running that fast all the time. If you can listen to us at 1.75, crazy.
Clinical. I've been sitting here for an hour looking at you guys going, wow, they're so good at just getting it out. Nine years in the game. At like talking, just getting it out quickly and quick-witted. I have been asked by people I'm on dates with, like, so how much dead air do you have to cut out? And I'm like, we don't do that. And they're like, what?
And I'm like, yeah, we just... We pick it up. Yeah. We'll pick it up and we'll keep going. It's amazing. I was literally talking to Sarah about it this morning. I was like, I don't know. They're so quick. They're so good. I was like, I don't have... It takes me so long to form a thought. That has proven to not be true here today. Well, because I honestly... You've been chucking it hard and fast. I've been...
I've been chucking it, but that's because I drink stuff. I was chucking back coffees. You over-caffeinated for Las Colas. I over-caffeinated. Was that something that's the last thing Sarah told you to do? No, but I did do it. I did it when I talked to Sydney. She was like, remember, because I talked to Sydney last night and she had just come from an espresso and I was like, you're like a different person right now. I love what this is doing for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, I feel like I really had a good set or whatever. And I was like...
Okay, I'm doing that tomorrow. He's a Celsius king. I'm a Celsius king. I mean, the whole office is Celsius now. I love Celsius. It's so good. We love it. It's so good and it's so much better than coffee because I do just feel like I am on a steady stream of crack cocaine. Yes. Yeah. It's just XR, extended release crack. Yes, yeah. No real like
Like it just sort of slow up and then pew. And then you're not. And you're landing upside down, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter on Celsius. Yeah. And I find that even the upside down landing is not as bad as like a full on crash. No. It's just like you're upside down, but you're kind of floating to the ground. Yeah. Like a feather. Did you hear Dakota Johnson say she thought it was like a healthy fruit drink? So she had 10 of them. So she had like six or seven of them. And she was like actually like having a conniption on the set. And she was just like. Oh.
Oh my God. Because no one told her. It's like, no, that's like, it's a lot of caffeine. Even one is like, you're going to be zooming. Oh my God. That's my nightmare. The first time I had five hour energy, I had like a full on breakdown in the street. I was like, oh. Five hour was like, that was an overcorrection before we landed. Yes. It was crazy. It's too much. It was way too much. It should not have been legal. I think it still is. You definitely can still get it. I remember like...
It's a 7-Eleven purchase for a reason. It is, and they look like poppers, too. They do. They do. They put them right next to them. Can I get that little bottle and that little bottle? I want to get absolutely amped and dilated. Oh, God. You hold them both up and you're like, have a nice night. You're like, which one tonight? This has been so fun. This has been so fun. So fun. The Motherload, it's on Netflix now. Harmless Lady Tour, Baltimore, Edmonton, Sacramento. Cleveland, somewhere in there.
You do have a better memory than you think. No, he's great. That's crazy. Short term. I literally was like, is there a teleprompter? There's no prompter. Oh, and you're going on Heather McMahon's cruise. Yes. The Absolutely Not Cruise. Yes. Yes. It's going to be so many white women with like Adele vacation braids. It's going to be a problem. And you should get them too. You should. You should be like, hey, ladies. No.
Is everyone feeling like Adele tonight? Yeah. Imagine I go in there with like full extensions, like actual wefts of extensions trying to braid those. Absolutely. I want them to be really visible. Yes, really visible. Like chunky, visible extensions. My favorite thing is like- I'm like this. Someone who- Yes. Someone who either doesn't care or doesn't know that their extensions are wildly out. Yes. That was me on my wedding. Yes.
And it's a look. Oh, I bet you looked amazing. They show up in the pictures. Yes. I look like fucking Heather on the beach. I need to tell you something. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. That made it even better. Okay. Better. We love you so much. Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun. This is a joy. Um, well, we end every episode with a song. That's right. Fire. Stop.
my heart reaching out to you. Wait, hold on. It's Donnie's last day with us. Bye, Donnie. It's Donnie who operates our cameras. It's our last day for us. He's literally the cutest person in the world. So we just want to say he's moving on to another job. And actually, the song that we want to sing is, what's a goodbye song? I hope you dance. I hope you dance. Donnie, we hope you dance.
We hope you do well in finance. Do well in finance. Yay! Yay, Donny!
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Find more ways to love Los Angeles at discoverla.com.
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