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We should do a show together, but you're too busy. You'd never do a show with me. A sweetie pot kettle. Don't even. You'd never do a show with me. Don't even. I literally asked you to do a show before we rolled. You said no. Sorry to pull back the curtain.

You know what I just rewatched? What? The 1990s Disney live-action Three Musketeers. Wow. Did you ever watch that? Yes, but not since I was a little boy. I know. It's like Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Chris O'Donnell, Oliver Platt, who I love. I remember, though, as a kid, there's this, well, Tim Curry plays a villain. Yeah, and first of all, one of the hottest men we have.

Tim Curry. Sex. So devilish. Serves sex. There's like a moment where maybe it's Charlie Sheen is like, enjoy your time in hell and goes to stab him. And then Tim Curry pulls out a gun and shoots him and goes, you first. And I'm like, what? And I was like...

But I remember watching... Kiefer Hot, too. Kiefer Hot. You watched 24 growing up in the heartland, I'm sure. I did not watch 24. Oh, down south, we were obsessed with it. We were watching 24 down south. You know, the towers had just fallen. 24 was everything to us. Yeah, you were watching 24 in North Carolina. Absolutely, you had to. You were locked in. What else would you talk about around the locker room?

The cooler. The water cooler. That's the phrase. I'm the locker. You're surrounding the locker in a tight circle. But both were too bad. Okay, so Tim Curry, big bad guy. One of the biggest and baddest. And then there's like a running gag where D'Artagnan has slept with this guy's sister. And he's trying to kill... Well, that's not nice. Well, you can't sleep with someone's sister. That's his sister. That's not right. Don't sleep with someone's sister, you guys.

That's wrong. Ask first. Ask the brother and then the dad and then any other men that she might... Especially in that time, in that era. Yes. That was how you did things. That's how I still do things. Now you might ask their lesbian moms. Yes. It's not always asking the dad anymore. Oh, golly. And in not telling. Yeah. Now there's two moms instead of a protective brother.

You know, I don't sleep with women because I got tired of asking so much permission. I'm like, I don't want to take your dad's identity. It's exhausting. Oh my goodness. How many hands am I going to ask for? You know what I mean? Let me just fuck your son. Yeah, say that. Because no one's checking in on him. The dads don't want to know, quite frankly. No, and they don't want... Boys will be boys, these dads are saying about that stuff.

But the guy who wants to kill D'Artagnan for sleeping with his sister, his energy is also very... Like, Tim Curry's such queer energy. It's always a he-him who wants to kill. First of all, let's say that. First of all, he is... The guy who wants to kill, that's he-him behavior. Can we just say, most murder, he-him. He-him. Perpetrated by he-him. Get, I don't know, Ben Shapiro talking about that. Why are there so much murder in the he-him community? Why is there so much he-him murder? What is it about the he-him culture? You know what? My mom worked in a women's prison as a nurse. Really? Every woman in there, justified.

No one in there did something evil just for evil. Oh, are you kidding? Maybe two people. First, I'm the judge. Someone's up for murder. First question I asked, what are your pronouns? Yeah. And not out of politeness. Yeah. To know whether to let you free or not. Yeah, leniency. Tell me this. To know whether to grant clemency. Clemen-she. Clemen-she. Clemen-she. Clemen-she.

Women's She. Women's She. I'm granting Women's She. I'm granting Women's She to you. It just sucks that you got Clemens She first because that was the better one. Yeah, I know. I had no choice but to riff in the lower direction. In post, you could put that one first. Yeah. That could be what tees up mine. Everybody goes, well, Caleb really set him up for that. Yeah, it's just hard riffing with you because you'll get the best one first.

That's that UCB training. UCB, thank you. What was UCB's thing? Character or game? It was game. Game. Oh, golly. You're thinking Chicago. Again, the heartland. Can't help it. Y'all love character in 24. Well, that's where I came up. Honey, that's where I came up. Yep. We're thinking about character. Down south, we were doing game. Down south in Manhattan under a Gristini's.

God, I miss that era. Golly, can we bring it back? You were IO? I was IO. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. You know this. I used to every fall break... We're rolling, right? Oh, yeah.

Every fall break, my college troop would get in on Wednesday so we could see TJ and Dave leave on Sunday so we could catch Improvised Shakes. We'd go on fall break, and we'd always be like, we've got to get there Wednesday for TJ and Dave, and then we'll see Shakes on Saturday, and then we'll leave Sunday morning. And just for the uninitiated, Shakes is going to go ahead and be Improvised Shakespeare. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. Men in blouses. Why not? Why not? At last. As a judge. Me exhaling. Clothed at 19. Oh, men in blouses. Seeing Thomas Middleditch in a skirt.

Do you know what's something? I was telling this to a friend recently because I also identify as charming. Yeah. I love to be the friend's wingman. Like, I love to be the friend that when you're new plus one is sort of like coming out to be the one who's so fun that they're like, your friends are fun. And also, little do you know, UCB training, I'm teeing you up all night to look funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's one of the best things is to charm a friend's date. Yeah. Into being like, welcome to the coven. You picked the right one. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I would love to bring a date around you. Oh, honey, not only would I be so fun, I would make you look so good. And they'd walk away, the illusion that would never be, you know, they would not know how much work it took for us to like sort of make this happen. Josh, can I tell you something really funny? Anything, baby. That I haven't told you yet? Sugar, please. Sugar. I've been big on sugar lately. I know. We were talking about this. Sugar's good. I sort of forgot about it. I sugared a straight man recently. And how did they receive it? He wasn't into it.

Yeah. But it was just crazy because sugar is such a delightful thing. But you can't sugar the straights. Well, you know, everybody's against big sugar now. Yeah. Well, it all goes straight to the hips. Thank you. And what's the problem with that? Well, being fat. That's where you bear children, mama. Oh, my God.

We should bear children together. We would be such fun parents. Wait, but on that note, I have to tell you something. See, this is the issue. We're going to get lost a lot. I've already lost the plot on the D'Artagnan thread. There's four, there's six threads. I've got them all here. We'll circle it back at the end. By the way, I just did Z-Way's show and I said, what would be my nightmare podcast? And I said, me and some gay guys I'm really close with because we'll get so far from reality so quick. Guess what? We're talking about bearing children together. Here we are. Absolutely.

Okay, but then the other night, you came to a thing that I was going to at a bar. I don't want to say what it is because I go sometimes. I don't want people to come. Yes. But you came and you met my friend Carly, who's lovely. I was taken. Oh, everyone's taken by Carly. And everyone's taken by you. When the next day, she and I are talking on the phone, she goes, I loved Josh. Oh, well, we love to hear that. I go, well, yes, I love Josh too. And she goes, I think you guys are in love. Oh.

Well, how much do we want to get into it? We were saying off air that this has happened quick. When it's right, it's right. Yeah. You know? This is us. We sort of had a beautiful lunch and knew, well, we're friends now. That's what it is. That's not always how it happens. Exactly correct. And I thought that was a beautiful thing that she said. That's beautiful. I said, that is my boy. I don't refute the allegations. I don't refute the allegations. I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with you. I don't deny it. Hello. I'll say it right to the judge. Hello. Well, that's another thing I want to talk about. Your judge, Eric, you said that you would give leniency based on pronouns. Will you just go through the pronouns and tell me what sentences you're kind of thinking generally? Great point. Well, he, him is, you know, abolish prison, but only after we send all the he, hims there, of course. Yeah. He, hims are going right to the...

To some island. He-him island. I'm sending them all to he-him island. The carceral state is on one island and it's for he-hims. I think they have one of those off the coast of South Carolina, don't they? Probably. I'm basically inventing a men's prison right now. You're like, I've got an idea. It's called he-him island. It's like, yeah, I think that's called Sing Sing. They've got that. What do you think? Non-binary people. I'm sending non-binary people into the community.

Into the community. And it's not for them. It's for the community. Yeah. What are they doing out there? They're just engaging. Well, hey, if experience is any measure, they're firing for Greenpeace. That's what they're doing out there. We would all be better to have knock, knock at the door. Hello, who are you? I'm a non-binary person sent here to talk to you. Yeah. We should start a program like that. You know how Mormon teens open up those letters and they're like... Yeah.

Uruguay, you know, we should do that with non-binary people. Rum springa, rum thema. Yeah, thank you. Not as good as Clem and She, but we're working on it. Yeah, yeah, them springa, actually probably the stronger one. There we go. So this time I get the lead on the riff. Okay, so you're they, them, you're sending them into the community. Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do with she, her? She, her. Always a problem for guys like us. Yeah. I mean, earlier, we're already dabbling in Clem and She. Maybe they're all free. They shouldn't be there in the first place, honestly. Oh, you think women go free?

Yeah. Really? At last. Oh my God. That's beautiful. I'm going to cry. You are crying right now, baby. Do you see this? Yeah. I'm afraid some of the wires are going to short circuit. Chance, can we get something to mop all this up? Caleb is weeping. There's water everywhere. Oh my God. Just the idea of she, her freedom after everything. Baby, have a sip of Sprite Zero Sugar. Come on, make it right. Okay.

Zero sugar? See, you're against sugar too. Here you are saying, oh, nobody wants to use sugar anymore. I'm proudly saying zero sugar right there. Josh, you're sick. Don't bring this up. They're going to turn on me. Oh my God. Oh, she heard freedom. Audre Lorde. Audre Lorde, thank you a lot. Maryam Kaba, send the women home. Judith Butler. Yeah, there we go. She heard freedom. There we go. Are you doing a they?

No. You don't have a they on there at all? Mm-mm. Not the slightest touch of a he, they? No, no. But I feel very sort of like pronoun agnostic, where it's sort of fun to accept all, even though I know it's like, I'm a boy, but if you want to use any, I'm going to be like, sure. Do you feel like a man?

Like if someone says like, man, do you, cause I do, I feel like a, I feel like a guy. That's a great question. Cause then right now I went, I don't really, but right. But yet I do feel like I'm he, him. Maybe I'm somewhat going like, I just feel like y'all have all decided on me, him. So I'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's it. You feel like a guy. I do. I think I feel, but I don't really know what that means. It just, it's never felt dysphoric to me to be a, to be a boy. I guess that's true. I don't feel dysphoric being a boy. I just feel like a certain type of slinky Tim Curry boy. You know,

You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, you're like, you have like an ethereal queerness. Thank you. I really don't. My queerness is very just kind of like, well, my queerness is just kind of, you know? Yeah. I don't see that. Really? But I guess maybe it's the heartland of all. You lead with heartland. I lead with heartland. You think I lead with heartland and not queer? Yeah. Don't you think? I think so. Do you lead with queer or North Carolina? Because to me, I see the North Carolina in you so presently. I find it's all.

- They're all malleable. Do you find that? - Yeah, interesting. - Like I'm around certain people and I don't mean to, but the North Carolina like slides out. - Jumps. - Jumps out. - Jumps on out of you. - It is that thing where I guess we all naturally mirror each other, but there's certain times where I catch myself and I'm like, oh, well first of all I look at videos of me as a little boy and I'm like, you were such a little hick.

Where did that go? Because it wasn't really a choice. It just sort of went away. So clearly it's still there because there's times I'm talking to people and I end up being like this. I'm talking like this and I'm like, what happened to you? You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's all reflexive. In the same way we clean out with certain people. I guess we do sort of- You hick out. Hick out. I'm hicking out. Yeah, we're hicking out. You're a hick. Great line dance to that. Jason Aldean, you better believe it. There's a great line dance to that. Jason Aldean made some great country music in the 2000s. And then he did- Where'd he go?

Well, I think he put out... I bet the answer's bleak. I don't want to look it up. Isn't he the one that put out, uh... Spit in a cop's face, burn the flag, try that in a small town? He's that one? I think that's him. Oh my god, and here we are line dancing to his song right now. Is that reclamation or should we be not... I don't even know. His old songs were so good. Yeah. And then he got in the... It's the same with Toby Keith. Toby Keith was making... All these guys, they make such great country music, and then they get obsessed with, like...

their own iconography. Yeah. And the, like who they're for. Yeah. And then they start doing this weirdo, like fascistic, like fucking creepy shit. Yeah. Like fucking, uh, what was that? What was that Jason Aldean song that was like, why do you, what is it? It was like one of his really,

Got what I got. Burning it down. You make it easy. Try that in a small town. Sick. Yeah. I forgot. I didn't put those two together that he's the guy that was, because I remember that kerfuffle. Yeah. I never really listened to the song. I just remember it like being in the news. Oh my God. Tattoos on this town. You know that one? No. Well, okay. I grew up in a, what kind of country were you listening to growing up? Oh,

Not a lot because I was listening to Radio Country, but I didn't really like it. I'm reclaiming Radio Country now as I'm getting into queer line dancing. And there's a lot of good stuff happening right now. But I was big into folksy bluegrass stuff. There used to be the public radio station, 89.3, whatever. The Asheville Boonies public radio station on Sundays was called Come and Round the Mountain. And they'd just play old folk...

and I loved that shit. Yeah, that rocks. And my brother plays mandolin, so I like that stuff. Your brother's a very talented musician. You know what the first concert I ever saw was? What? Actually, let's take it back. First concert was a contemporary Christian act, The Newsboys. Thank you. Does that mean anything to you? Thank you. Does that mean, entertaining angels by the light of my TV screen? They were Australian, and they loved Christ. TV screen? Sort of more than anything. Yeah. Yeah.

But the first secular concert, Nickel Creek. Wow. On their first album at the Asheville Civic Center. Wow. Like, Lighthouse had just come out. Country boy. Yeah, but I feel like I was more into that sort of side of it. Because I was still like, I was an emerging music snob. Yeah. So like, even in that climate, I was a little like, country's bad. But like, have you heard folk? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't grow up on a lot of country, but you did have to sort of

Speak the language. How'd you get into queer line dancing? You're doing that all the time. I can't. Oh my God. I can't get you to go to dinner. It's true. Half the time. I'm afflicted. Cause you're doing queer line dancing 17 times a goddamn week. I own that. I'm afflicted. I've had it. I need to be, I've sent me to he, him Island. I need to be locked up for my crime. And there won't be any line dancing on he, him Island. No ma'am. No.

uh just some gay people i knew in la were like posting videos and i was like that looks fun and then i went in the spring with some friends and then i kept going and my friends don't go anymore and i made friends who do it do you know what i mean i was like y'all don't y'all y'all aren't as down bad as me yeah you were sick with it immediately i'll see some of my friends who went early and be like have you learned the dances and they're like yeah i think i know four or five and then in my head i'm like shit i think i know 90 you know what i mean so i'm like not a joke like the other day i checked the playlist of every one i know and it's

almost 100 and i was like you're down bad yeah you're sick you're gonna get into that because you've gone i have i went to i went to stud country in la a few times i dug it fabulous and there's a whole ecosystem now like that party and all these other things yeah clearly something's happening and yeah and it's like because you know like western is in in the culture broadly yeah you know i mean like everybody's making country albums like western wear is in in fashion

It's very Devil Wears Prada. Like, you think that's blue? That's Cerulean. Like, this was chosen for you. This was chosen for you by us a long time ago. Yeah, Western has been chosen for this moment, so it's like no surprise that the f***ers in Bushwick are like line dancing to Hicktown wearing wraparound sunglasses. Like, it's all a part of a broader thing, clearly. Yeah. But it is hitting spots for me. Like, it is making me go...

And clearly there's something in the air before this, like Beyonce put out 16 carriages. Did I tell you this? And when it came out, I was playing it in the shower, like weeping, like remembering little like Hicks, seven-year-old me. Like it was like making me like revisit parts of my little like closeted Southern past in a way. Not that I had like,

I actually don't have much shame for that part, but certainly it's things where you feel like I've moved on. I'm this hip New York person now. And I was like living in some of that old stuff in a way that I hadn't been in a while already. And so then when this thing came in my life, I was like, one, I like being in my body and I love just like turning my brain off and putting information in my body. And it's very queer to have this thing where it's like, I, because some of them you can find YouTubes online. Some of them you truly can't. And you have to be like, Hey, do you know Stetson? Will you meet me in the park and teach me? And then some,

It's like, I have this information in my body I will transmit to your body. Something about that is very beautiful and queer to me. But then also there's an aspect where I'm like, I don't know why, but reclaiming a little bit of that country-fried, southern, western thing is feeling right. That's beautiful. That was a diatribe. No, it was a beautiful diatribe. We'll be keeping it in. I think it is half the time beautiful, half the time devastating that no matter what you do, you can't escape who you were when you were seven.

Yeah. It's there. It's just like a huge, it's a huge, massive. And right now I'm living in the beautiful era. And I'm often in the beautiful era personally, but only in the recent years. Like I would say in my teens and early twenties, I was so annoyed by where I was from. And I was like, Oh God, this is such an unsheak like thing that I was just fucking born into. I wish I had been born somewhere cool. Like my friends who were born in Manhattan and went to museums as kids. But now I'm so grateful for it. Exactly correct. Now I'm, now it's my favorite thing about me, but it took some work.

But clearly I'm in some sort of like Saturn returns about all that stuff. Well, and also now that we have to get into it, but like, you know, I had this like weird accident beginning of the year where it was like a near death type of thing. So I think it was like coming off of that too, that I felt very like I need to be in my body. That was like the first move was I was like, I started taking dance classes because I was like, I want to be in my body more. Yeah. And then I think it became a sort of trickle down where then I, it led me to that. And then it was hitting all these like emotional spots that I was like, oh, I didn't expect this to be a part of it, but it's a part of it.

a part of it. On the body of it all, do you know what I've gotten really unhappy with? What? I don't like when I'm on Grindr and someone wants to send me 15 pictures of every angle of their naked body before we meet up.

I don't need that. I don't want to share. I want to, could they make a shared album for vibes? Yeah. I don't want, I don't need to see all that body. I don't need to. I need like one picture to get like a general idea. Yes. I need to know literally kind of what's going on, but I want to. just, just mostly so I'm not surprised, good or bad. I want to get to know your body as an experience. When someone's body is better than I expect, I'm also like, oh no, like I get scared. Yeah. I don't want the fucking album. But I don't need all that. I want an album that's vibes. How do we get vibes? How do we get vibes in the album? I want to know what it's going to be like to chit chat with you before and after.

I want to, like, figure out your body together, and I want you to figure out mine. Do you ever send voice memos on Grindr? Oh, absolutely. I send voice memos every time. I don't really do that, but maybe I should, because that's the best vibe check, really. Yeah, to get someone's voice. And just, like, because you get all the intonation, you get context, you know what I mean? You get tone, you get timing, you get jokes. Like, in 15 seconds of you talking, I'm going to learn more than...

an hour of us texting don't you feel absolutely there's so much subtext there i'm gonna figure out what's going on with you yeah what your vibe is i had a delightful i messaged with a guy on grinder uh last week we messaged like four messages and then he came over and i was we didn't exchange any nudes which i that's my favorite kind of hookup i don't want to know really beforehand personally and then he came over and i was so shocked by his vibe he i thought he was going to be like

I thought he was going to be very femme, which I'm down. I thought he was going to be very femme. And I was like, cool, cool. That's what's coming over. And then he got there. He was pretty masculine and pretty low key. I thought he was going to be pretty erratic based on some of the messages. Did you like that too, though? I love it. I love it all.

I love it all. I was down with it. I was like, that's hot. That's cool. Yeah. Because he was nice and fun. If they give too much boy, it doesn't work for me. That doesn't work for you? Yeah. With exception. I mean, everything has huge caveats, of course. I'm painting with a broad stroke. But man, there's something where I go, I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what to do with this. I'm down with whatever. But I love that for you.

I'm down with whatever, yeah. Are you finding... Well, this is so boring. No, it's not. What is it? I'm not asking is dating better in New York than LA, but it's going to sound like it. But I want to find, are you finding an energy shift as you're swimming in the New York pool? You asking me if dating is better in New York or LA is like... It would be equivalent to you asking me, is it better to go on a long, beautiful walk or be shot in the head? Yeah, exactly. That's what I figured. Which is why I was trying to think of like...

There's something more interesting than that part of the question. It's like, what energies are you noticing that are different? Here's what I will say. There is, in New York, I love LA as a city. I really don't. I do not subscribe to LA hate. I think LA is a wonderful city with some drawbacks, and every city has them. This one has profound drawbacks. This has profound drawbacks. They're both insane, and if you don't own that, you're delusional. People are, my friends are being so...

annoying to me now in New York that are like, all that shit you talked on in New York. And I'm like, everything I said about New York is still true. It is still prohibitively expensive and small and loud and gross. It's crowded and smells like piss. And it's also lovely. I mean, I'm existing in many realities, as we all do. LA versus New York dating, there are a lot of differences. Here are the two that stick out to me. Okay.

uh new york they love a big boy yeah new yorkers are getting down with different body types and truly genuinely in la people are not getting down with different body types people are actively the the vibe around body in la even in people i like friends of mine who i'm not trying to fuck friends of mine the way they talk about their own body i'm like do you even realize the implications that that has really for the people that doesn't surprise me but of course you're getting like a different

point of view on it than I am. Of course. And they're being, by the way, these are even people I like that are being careful because they know how I feel about body negativity. But they're being so gross and negative about their own body even in ways they don't understand.

I'm like, you don't even know how much you hate the idea. You hate your physical form and you actively hate fat people and you don't even realize it. And that's kind of sad. New York, less of that. Not to say there's not body hatred and weird shit in New York as well. And certain spaces, especially gay spaces. Of course. Yeah. God help me if I had to go to some of the houses on Fire Island with some of these people. Truly. But that's one. And the second is I think there's a higher premium in New York on intellect.

I think people want to, I think in, I think in New York, there's a little bit more of like, what are you listening to? What are you reading? And like a genuine, like, I want to know what you're, what are we going to talk about after we've got. Yeah. Yeah. Once we, once we wipe the come off with that little towel, I do a cursory come wipe. Yeah. I'm still a little sticky pre shower. What are we talking about for 15 minutes? Yeah. What book did you read recently? Now that we've come. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but then, uh, nobody's asking about books in LA.

Kind of, no. And it sounds like I'm... Even saying this, I'm like, it sounds like I'm working from some stereotype that was told to me of like, they don't like fat people and they don't read books. No, it's lived. But I'm like... It's lived. I'm just telling you what I've experienced. It's lived. It's real. It's true and genuine. So yeah, higher premium on intellect and they like fat people, which is good for me. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Better for me. The body obsession. I was about to say, it's like so funny because we're talking about being in the body. And in some ways, they're like incredibly in their body. But like to the...

to ill effect yeah you know what i mean yeah it's weird and i've gotten tired of the la face i've i've gotten tired of the work i've gotten tired i'm sorry i know everyone do your own thing it's supposed to be whatever makes you happy lizzo says love for yourself everybody everybody with the face work the actors everybody in movies looks ridiculous now they look insane i am begging people to just let yourself age my god or or i sort of like if you go like full madonna

go crazy sure but then maybe trying to read her for it as if she's trying to not look like that I was like she's not trying to like hide her age she's trying to look like Amanda Lepore she's and I sort of celebrate that you're like I've created myself as art object really I think go nuts do whatever you need to do for you personally I think we don't need to have every actor in every movie look like that it's the uncanny valley it's

It's insane. Do it or don't. Yeah. Go nuts. Don't do this. Like, I just happen to be this way. No, you don't. No, you don't. That's fake. No, you don't. That's fake. You fixed your face up. Jane Fonda. A lot of work. Looks great. Yeah. Go nuts. Yeah, go nuts. It looks like a fake face, but it's like she knows what she's doing. She likes it. Absolutely. Get her back on top of a tank with that new face. Yeah, why not? Well, be careful up there, though.

be careful at this age it's not the same that's true i don't like the work the work is bothering me i don't like seeing it on my screen every fucking movie trailer now i'm like that's not that's not a person yeah they're like this woman is like this woman is a downtrodden gas station employee in kentucky i'm like she's got veneers yeah exactly what's going on insurance ain't covering that i know honey so she's got money no it can't be it can't be veneers veneers are hard for me

I get it. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it. I'm just like, does everyone need to have the same teeth and cheeks? They do look like big chicklet horse teeth. Of course they do. I see them a mile away. I kind of like my fucked up teeth. Yeah, mine are like minorly fucked up and I'm down for it. This one's pushed back. These ones are a little crooked. My bottoms are crowded. I kind of like it. Dennis keeps telling me, you know, your bottoms are getting crowded. I go, sweetie. Yeah. Hello. Hey, every party in New York. Every party in New York.

Crowded with bottoms. Crowded bottoms. What is this? Horse meat disco? Come on now. Come on. But I'm cool with it. Crowded bottoms. Is this the eagle? Do you go to the eagle? Your dentist goes, oh, very fun.

Oh, Josh. I love that. Oh, you gay guys. Oh, I love to get in that mouth. You did. Sweetie. Pull back. Line up. Oh my gosh. Josh. Knock it off. Back in. Hi, Janice. Cancel my next three appointments. We're running long again. Me. He's got gay voice too for some reason. Yeah. He's got 1950s Hollywood center square gay voice. Oh, God. Oh,

Oh, God. It's a maroon canal. Josh wants to do a top five. He's Marco Martindale. I'm trying to clean your teeth. Sweetie, shut up and let me scrape. Honey, if I wanted to hear you talk, I'd shove my hand up your ass and work you like a puppet. Hush.

Okay. When people are like, you know that question of like, what role on Broadway want to do? I'm going to now say Little Shop and I'm the dentist, but he's a... Yeah. Dentist from Little Shop. Do you have any questions? If so, direct them to my publicist. I'm not talking to you about it until I'm cast. What is your dream role? I don't actually have an answer for that. Oh, stop it. No, I really don't. That's why I was thinking of it recently. I forget why it came up. I was like, I don't have a go-to role.

In the theater space. I like a lot of theater, but there's not one that I need to have that answer. Don't I? Do you have one? No. Yeah. No, I'm just the interviewer. One exists somewhere, but I haven't found it. Sound off in the comments. I guess. Sound off in the comments of what Josh should play on Broadway. Yeah, but I don't have one. I don't have one. Are you much of a theater queen?

No, I enjoy. I go when my friends are in something. But I'm not, it's never been, I didn't do it in high school. And then when I got to college, I started hanging out with a lot of theater kids, Chance included. Y'all know each other from that? From college, yeah. Chance was a BFA, musical theater. I went to all of his little shows. What's your dream role, Chance? You have it then. Well, I played it in college, at a bottom. Sure. Yeah. He was great in it.

bottom of midsummer i went i mean it was the dentist whatever you're funny not gay enough though yeah you're not very good at gay you're just okay come on give it one try chance come on but i don't know i want to do that gay voice we were doing earlier just one time yeah yeah yeah yeah you don't want to say like you do in private and here on the pod get him canceled

Get him canceled. Oh, God. The pod would fall apart. Oh, the pod would fall apart without chance. Think of the pod without chance. I don't even want to. I don't want to. Well, it makes me sick. It makes me sick. Makes me absolutely sick. Think of your dentist without your jokes. Oh, honey. I don't want to. Structural. Beam. I'd be caked in plaque in that instance. I wouldn't go. Goodness, I hate it. I hate it.

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Well, I would love to see you in any show. And you. And you. What should we do together, I guess? Oh, let's do Waiting for Godot, the two of us. Oh.

I mean, that could be fun. Waiting for Gato. Waiting for Gato. Waiting for Homo. Waiting for Gato. We should do a show together, but you're too busy. You'd never do a show with me. Sweetie Pot Kettle. Don't even. You'd never do a show with me. Don't even. I literally asked you to do a show before we rolled. You said no. Sorry to pull back the curtain. Actually, it's even worse. What I said was, I'll come. I'm free that night. I might come and watch, but I'm not performing.

My answer is even worse than no. It's I can come. I might actually be there and I'm not getting on stage. That's...

That is so funny. Life is long, though. We'll do a show. We'll definitely do a show. I'm a seer. I have sight. Yeah. And I've seen that, you know? I mentioned yesterday we recorded Jay Jordan, and we were talking about- Wonderful person. Oh, wonderful person. God, ugly guy. Ugly body. Oh, disgusting creature. Nasty, ugly guy. Disgusting creature from hell. With such a conventionally ugly body. Jay Jordan, you sick, sloppy, messy individual. Who can't write or tell a joke.

No. Jay, get out of here. He makes me mad. Oh, I hate him. He's one of those who he's like, how about three jokes when one could do? Yeah. Like in one breath, there's always like four laugh lines. I'm like, leave some for the rest of us. Yeah. He's like, what if every word of the setup was also a punchline? No, it's not right. I'm like, what if you fuck off? Yeah. And let the rest of us breathe a little bit. Oh, and also I have pecs. Oh, okay. Good God. Oh, and you're one of the most ripped individuals alive. You can't go on. And you're in a healthy marriage and you're open. Well, open people. No, I'm sorry. I know everyone's doing it. You know, it's...

It's good or bad, depending on the situation, just as monogamy is. How's it for you? Good. Yeah. Wait, what were you about Jay Jordan? I was going to say, on his episode, it was really rainy, and so he had an umbrella, and I was telling him about your umbrella bit that I love from your latest show. Oh. People in Manhattan should have to have that. Sometimes I feel like that's hack, but New York crowds like it. I love it. I feel like there's a version of it that's hack that I'm trying to make not hack by adding too many monogamy.

monosyllabic words. Right. A lot of my comedy is that. It's like, what's the dumb version and how do you say it with big words? Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I like that. You know what I mean? I love that show, Josh. Hey, thanks. I love your show. It's so good. I'm very excited for you to do it again. When are you doing it again? I have,

no plans yet because it seems in a I can't say things officially yet way that it will have a long run next summer. Yeah. I think that I can say. Yeah. So we're not really doing any more one-offs because we're waiting for that to solidify. But I bet come next summer you're going to have

eight chances a week to say it let's just to see it let's just say that you know what i mean that's where it feels like it's going spoiled with riches we would and if that doesn't end up happening that sucks for me yeah yeah just know if you hear this in months from now that doesn't come true no something went wrong yeah and that sucks for my life crumbled in that area but the thing that i was told was happened fell apart yeah that sucks for me yeah

Don't come for me. What happened to that show that you said was going to have a run? Yeah, well, I guess it didn't and not by my choosing. Yeah, I didn't decide not to do it. No, no. This is one of my favorite energies online, by the way, is when people in our world try to –

They think the general public is so stupid that they try to play off a clear loss as like a choice. It's someone like, it's someone like tickets aren't, tickets aren't selling to their show, you know? And they'll get on Instagram stories and be like, Hey you guys, last few tickets available. Like go get them right now while you can. And it's like, it's been on sale for months. It's like, we know.

You can tell that it's not the last few tickets. We know. I genuinely, I'm not being mean because we've all done it. I love that energy. I think it's so awesome. I think it's hilarious. You like that smoke screen. I think it's funny. I'm like, this is funny that we all do this. Yeah. Because by the way, partially when you do that, you're doing it not even for the general public. You're doing it for your peers. Yeah. To be like, my show's selling really well. Yeah, exactly. Don't, you know? Yeah. I think that's funny. You have to sort of...

I guess that's true of this business. It is funny, but it's also a shame that you have to sort of like at all times be projecting that things are going pretty well. Of course, it's an actual shame. Where are our spaces to go? Actually, my career is only okay. It's this podcast. That's where you can do that. And I'll tell you my other favorite thing that I love is when someone gets an objectively hurtful review of their project and then they go, you know what?

This bothers me so little, I'm posting it. Oh, well, we did that, but it was so funny to us. If it's funny... Me and Aaron got some really hysterical bad reviews of our film, which we knew would happen. Dicks the Musical, stream now. Stream now on Max. But it was so funny, because in the lead-up, everybody was like, oh my god, I bet you're so excited for Fox News to find this. And we were like, first of all, no, I'm not excited for that. Right, I'm scared. And we were like...

And second of all, I don't know that that's going to happen. I think we've made a rather niche film that's going to, and I think people in our bubble are going to dislike it. And people like no conservatives are going to rip it. Of course it was like, well, a ton of liberals hated it. And those, those were the funniest hate reviews. Of course. There is one we posted where this person just kept as a refrain because she was ripping it. And she kept like every fourth line going. And again, all caps. I am a lesbian. Yeah.

She keeps coming back to this. See, but to me, there's a subtle difference. That was so funny to us. There's a subtle difference between one that's actually funny and one that's pure vitriol. Like sometimes people like I'll share one that's like someone for sweethearts. I the the during the festival period on Max stream on Max during the festival. Great double feature, actually, by the way, stream on Max Dix, the musical and then stream on Max sweetheart. What order do you think?

Is there a first and a second? I would go Sweethearts first just in case they don't make it to a second one. Sure.

Just in case I get tired. Just queue up dicks when you go to sleep because I could use the fraction of a penny. You know what I mean? I don't care if you keep your eyes open, but at least press play. Do dicks. I don't think I get points on Sweethearts. Do dicks first and then get to me if you have a chance. But I read the reviews only during the festival period on Letterboxd. I read a couple of them and then didn't again. And someone during that period said something, which I posted, something to the effect of, please put Caleb Heron in more movies immediately. He doesn't have much time left. He's like 40.

And that to me was so actually funny. Yeah. That I was like, I have to post it. It's hilarious. But it wasn't- It's funny on multiple levels because one, you're not almost 40. No, I'm not. And two, if you were, you'd have tons of time left. Yeah, it's funny on so many levels. And also it's like- Did Letterboxd like Sweethearts? Letterboxd didn't really like Dicks. But again, that's a thing where we like knew it wasn't for them. Yeah.

I've heard... They didn't hate it, but it's just film people. I'm not reading it. I don't care. Like, A24's accounts did not like our film because it was like, well, yeah. Yeah. I'm not reading it, but I've heard that it's like...

It's not like a 4.5 on there. Like, it's not K-1-I-T. I should say also, I sort of don't read it. Like, I actually don't, but it's impossible for things not to get to you. Oh, they come. People, even when you're like, I'm not looking at it, it finds a way. It comes. You have to sort of make the choice to not look at it so that you can then look at it less. Right. Because there's no...

rebuking the Lord. Yeah. You know, like it's going to get into you. It's coming to you. People give it to you and you don't want it and it just like bleeds. It permeates. Yeah. So we were like, I would see some even though I was choosing to not see any. Yeah. And the choice to not see any meant I just saw a little.

Yeah, you just saw a little bit. But some of them were funny. Went a little bit through. No, some of them are funny. And I'm being genuine, by the way. I think it's hilarious when people do that. I do legitimately love the energy of posting straight up vitriol and being like, actually, this didn't bother me at all. And it's like, clearly it did, but that's funny. I like that.

I really like that. I'd like to make shirts of some of my hate comments. Do you have any, which one would you put on a shirt right now? Because we would do the full like, you know, Willie Norris? Willie Norris is fabulous fashion designer. And she's sort of known for Willie Norris work. She works for some big fashion house that like straight guys like that. I literally can't remember the name of. I'm probably getting all of this wrong. But what I know her for is Willie Norris workshop where she does a lot of like screen printed t-shirts. She used to have these socks that were like Nike socks that said,

Love me Tinder on one side and fuck me hard on the other. Stuff like that. She has the one that say, promote homosexuality. Those t-shirts, you've seen those? Yeah, yeah. But she has this one where she's just screen printed this awful review of

I think like a fucking Denny's or something. But when this I'm a lesbian review came out, she was like, I'm going to make a t-shirt of that. I'm realizing out loud. I need to make her follow through on it. But anyway, this is, that was so cut that good God. I'll preamble to say, what is the one you would put on a shirt first? I don't remember it word for word, but there was a DM we got on the podcast account a couple months ago. That was from like a very concerned Christian right wing person. That was like, you fucking,

enabling, like, devil-worshipping, like, you're going to hell. Clocked. Clocked. Clocked and owned, first of all. Enabling devil-worshipping. I'm like, just that alone. I feel incredibly enabled. Yeah. Let me just say that. And the devil would feel incredibly worshipped were she here. Oh, come on. Yeah. Leave a chair for Prophet Elijah? No, for the devil. For the devil, who we worship, and we...

frankly need in here i would put that on a shirt i think that's really funny um well now here's the thing though because i i hear you that part where people like share the vitriol and they're like this didn't affect me um

And you're like, well, clearly it did. But there also is a doubling back where sometimes like I'm not convinced the self exists. And so sometimes there's a thing where you have to sort of like subjugate yourself to that to be like, I'm not real. It's like, like all these people are thinking this thing about me, but it's not about me. Yeah. I don't even know if I'm real and whatever you're saying is not about me. Yeah. So it's like, it doesn't affect me, but it does affect me because it helps inform my worldview of like, I have to decentralize myself. Like I have to be like, say whatever you want. It doesn't.

It can't matter. First of all, it's about you, not me. Yeah. Second of all, even if it were the self you're talking about, perhaps doesn't exist. Oh, there's a person I need you to meet. I went to a, a dinner for a Jewish holiday and I forget which one. Um, I went to a dinner, put it in and post. I went to a dinner for Rosh Hashanah. It's like an 80 Harden, uh, at my friend's mom's house in Brooklyn. And there was a, a wonderful gay professor there, uh, who,

who was obsessed with the idea that the self doesn't exist. And he and I got, uh, we were sitting next to each other while everyone else was over in the living room, kind of chatting. He and I just at the table and he's going into me about, he's like, he's like, the self doesn't exist. And getting over yourself is actually the biggest thing you can do for happiness. Like getting over yourself in the literal, getting over the sense that you even exist. I think that's true. And I was like, that's beautiful. And he was trying to be on that journey. I got, you're right. I got to talk to this guy. Yeah. Um, did he have any theories on what forms consciousness? Uh,

I'm sure he did, and we didn't get there. I'm sort of into Hofstetter's strange loop theory. Okay, tell me about it. People should read. It's one of those things that is like...

You read it and you're like, this is so true. And then someone's like, summarize it. You're like, couldn't if I tried. And that's like why it feels true. It's because you're like, it's so layered and nuanced and complex. It essentially is sort of saying, I'm going to give the most dumb gay guy version of it. That like we as entities are sort of incredibly small, but also big. Like you're this mass of individual particles that are all like uniquely motivated. And yet somehow they come together to be this thing. Yeah.

You know, and it's, and it like where one ends and the other begins is very porous. It's like we shed all our cells every seven years. It's also like the atoms that make

me in and the chair begin like literally are trading so it's like that is already weird so he's like basically your brain is sort of oscillating between being individual small things and this massive big things and he believes that the quick oscillation of that as if you're like filming a tv and you know you see the tv and the tv and the tv and the tv and it creates this thing that's not real it's a full illusion but it feels very real he's like that's what consciousness is it's like you're oscillating between the small and the big at all times

And so it creates this sort of like infinite loop that becomes the self. Again, does that make any sense at all? No. And yet it's beautiful. It's poetic. I don't want to think about that stuff. I understand that. Do you know what I mean? And me, it's all I want to think about.

Yeah, that is that is a one key difference between us is you're thinking about stuff like that and my happiness is based on stupidity I avoid and deny well I like that kind of science that's so like I'll read stuff about like quantum mechanics and stuff because it's so highfalutin and theoretical and Nonsense that it is stupid to me. Yeah, like some of the hard sciences where it's like I measured this thing and it was true I'm like boring when it's like we have no way to explain this so I've designed the most insane theory of all time It might as well be Tolkien. Yeah, it's like full of

dumb. It feels like fantasy and I love that. It feels stupid to me how smart it is because it's like we've blown past the limits of what we can understand and we're just like sitting in fucking, you know, tenured rooms, offices, and just like doing thought experiments and coming up with this cockamamie nonsense. I love it. That's gay guy shit, really. That's gay guy shit. Cockamamie nonsense? Oh, yeah. Theoretical math

gay guy shit. - Gay guy shit. - When gay guys talk and Chance is like, what did one word of that mean? When we're like down the house boots honey mama. It's like that's what these quantum physicists sound like. You know what I mean? It's like it's all the same, it's just been mad-libbed differently. - It's two silly bitches telling each other exactly. - And it means something to them. It means something to them. And so I love that, I love that. - That's gorgeous. - Thank you. - We should come up with our own theory of the universe.

Yeah. A fan messaged me. How much time we got left on the pod? Oh, plenty. Oh, we could do it today. We'll find it. A fan messaged me yesterday and said, you should rewrite the Bible.

Oh, that's a good idea. And I'm thinking about doing it. Can I ask? And it's fine if you don't have it yet because sometimes you figure things out in the writing. What's your take? My take on the Bible? A lot of it's going to be the same. I think they nailed some pretty key concepts. Murdering everyone because you're mad at them type shit. Flooding the earth because people weren't being obedient. That's sick. He-him behavior. A he-him island. Creating a he-him island via the floods.

Literally. Literally. I think my version of the Bible, I would just go like. There's definitely some cuts. You know what? Here's the big thing about the Bible and Christianity. I would just cut the idea that like the mandatory part.

Like you have to believe in my version to go to heaven. I'm like, that can't be, that's what lost me from Christianity. I go, you're telling me there's no Jewish people or Muslim people in heaven. Here you can't shut up about grace. Yeah. And yet, and yet, I mean, I can't go to heaven. Exactly. I don't buy it. A hot Muslim guy doesn't get into heaven. And I've seen some hot Muslim guys and I've seen some hot guys of all faiths and they belong in heaven. Not getting to heaven. Come on. You ever seen a hot person who's bad at kissing?

Yeah. I've been big on this lately. It's a bummer. I kissed one of the hottest guys I've kissed. And he was such a bad kisser. I thought, how did you get here, brother? Have you ever? How did I get good at this and you didn't? I feel like we've talked about this. I feel like you don't go to da club as much as maybe I do. But there's moments where you're at da club.

And maybe someone wants to make out and you make out. And in that moment, I go, you're on a different drug journey than I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about that. I wouldn't know. Just mean, just mean, well, actually I find I don't use much drugs in the club really. Cause I like to light touch. You know what I mean? And I'm there for the music. Ultimately I'm in communion with the DJ. We're on our own frequency. Yeah. But sometimes you kiss someone, you go, you've been doing something. I know that much. This isn't the kiss of a person who's on planet earth. Yeah. Yeah. And I have to go, well,

Good luck and God bless. What are the characteristics of that kiss? Usually. Like, I'm trying to understand. Well, you can sort of tell the drug. Yeah. You know what I mean? Sometimes the kiss is outside of time in a way that you go, that's... You know what I mean? Like, you are not...

You are not on the same sort of natural rhythms of what a kiss should be. Parts are too slow. Parts are too fast. Yeah. You are not on time in the way that I am experiencing time. Yeah. You know? You're not moving the lips in the right way. Sometimes it's, and you're like, that's, you're like, you want in to something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to penetrate with the lip. You're trying to get in there. Crazy. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Hot person who's bad at kissing is just such a confounding phenomenon to me. It's not right. Do you think, is that a feedback loop? I'm hot, so I never learned to kiss. That's what people are theorizing. Whereas some of us who are less hot, you got to get scrappy out in these streets. I don't know. You got to earn your keep. Kissing to me is like, God, pay some attention. Focus up. Have some care. Kissing's the number one. Kissing's the number one thing.

If you're a bad kisser, I don't care what else you're good at. Non-negotiable. You could be a saint. And if you're a bad kisser, I want you dead. I don't want you to ever come around me again. Kissing is everything. It's number one. Kissing rules. If we spend four hours kissing and three minutes having sex, I'm happy as a clam. Honey, zero minutes having sex. Yeah, fuck sex. Literally. Fuck sex, marry kissing. Yeah, yeah. Marry kissing, fuck sex. I guess we need a third. Kill. Oh, wait, hold on. I want to think of what I really want to kill.

I kind of want to kill frantically looking for a cum towel because you weren't thinking of it. Do you know when you weren't planning? Like someone's maybe over or you're somewhere that you didn't have the cum towel. And then now, especially if you come at the same time or around the same time. And now it's like, so someone's going to have to like... This just happened to you. It's so vivid, this description. Yeah.

This happened to you. You're describing something from the last 72 hours. 72, from the last three hours. Yeah, okay. No, I'm kidding. But yeah, desperately looking for a cum towel. It's 11 in the morning. Let the viewer know. By the way. When you're playing back the last three hours. Tiptoeing and trying not to spill cum and being like, where's the towel? Oh, God, it's so. Although there's something funny about that.

I mean, is that not the Marx Brothers right there? Of course. Tiptoeing, trying not to spill cum. Is that not Buster Keaton? Tell me that's not Carol Burnett show original season. Clown is back. Clown is back. We all know this. I'm trying not to drip cum while I look for the cum towel. Sweetie, if that's not a Zach Zuckerbeck, I don't know what is. You know what I mean? Oh my goodness. You put Zach Zucker in there even.

Zach Sucker's getting put in the mix of references. He deserves it. Zach's a good guy. Sweethearts? Sweethearts in Zach Sucker. Zach Sucker's a good guy. Zach Sucker dancing a lot.

Dance? I know. I want to go to a class with him. Okay, you got to get in there. I sometimes go to classes too, and I don't even want to say where because I like that it's my little secret. But then, you know, the line dancing became more the thing. But lately I've been like, I want to go back to the classes. Yeah. There's one class I go to that's like a house music class. And it's so fun. Well, one, I just like that type of music and I like to dance to it.

And the style of dance is like so fun and it's a bunch of footwork. Also, I'm the worst one in the room. And I think it's so good for your character to be bad at something and keep going back. I'm always the worst one in the room. And I love that feeling. But he's very good about this guy where at the end when you're doing the thing that I guess is the norm in dance classes now where they're like, we're going to run the choreo you learn and everybody sets up their damn phones to film themselves. God bless rock and roll. They do it one time and then he's like, okay, we did that. Now we're getting in a circle and we're doing it at one another because this is...

Ultimately, house music is like a social dance. You're doing this to be in your body and be in communion with other people, so it doesn't matter if you get it right. Do it to have joy with other people. I transcend. I'm like, I'm in heaven. This is church. This is what we should be doing it for. You should start a religion. Yeah, we should, right? I like your ideas. Would you be an acolyte? You got an acolyte of your faith? Absolutely. Thank you. You'll be going knocking at the doors? Absolutely. Hi, I'm David. Hi, I'm non-binary. And I want to talk to you about Josh Sharpe.

Do you do dance classes? No. Have you ever? A dance class? No, I've been to like a stud country. Yeah, which is a class, but also sort of a party. Yeah, no, I've not done a class. It's sort of the hybrid space. I'd be open to it. I guess it's just never, I've never done it. Let's go. Let's go to one. I'll take you to this one if you want. I'll do anything with you. It's sort of hard, but I like that.

It's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be like open level beginner, but then I get there and I'm like, well, this is hard. This is sort of hard. Yeah, that would be me for sure. I like to think I have rhythm. Maybe I would be a duo. I feel like you have rhythm. I'd like to think. I actually have great rhythm, but do find I'm just such like

an oaf like like i look stupid dancing in a way that i know i say that with love i like appreciate it i watch myself and i'm like you have such like sort of like goofy dad energy like other people look cooler dancing and i'm like but i sort of love looking like a dweeb yeah like still doing it yeah oh that's beautiful i think it's fun but i'm good at picking up stuff i don't think i look good doing it i think i need a lot of training to like get that out of me and be an actual like dancer yeah which maybe that's my journey but um i have a question for you anything what's so true to you

Oh, God. I had something earlier and then I lost it. I feel like I should either remember it or just come up with something on this. Don't worry. We can cut anything. We can cut this whole moment here. You can really think on it if you want. Oh, you know what came up to me earlier? So true to me. You tell me if this is a good example for the prompt. Okay.

It should be the law that every martini comes with a sidecar. Do you know what I'm saying, Hal? Oh my goodness. I assume the listener knows what a sidecar is, where it's like they only pour in like a sip of a martini in the martini glass and the rest is in a little goblet on ice beside it. You know what I mean? Yeah. That should be the law. Here's a law. I'll add to that. I love that so true. And I'll go a step further and say, I don't really care about martinis, but if I was going to get one, I'd want 17 olives. I'm down for that. Bring me 17 olives. Here's the thing about a martini. It really goes to prove that, um...

The way we feel about drinking is contextual. If you were drinking straight gin, lukewarm out of a Mountain Dew bottle, I'd be like, you have a problem. Yeah. Make the gin very cold in a classy glass. And we're like, nothing, nothing is more refined. Nothing to think of. It's the same exact drink. Martini is just like booze, but cold. Yeah. But we've decided it is like the pinnacle of class. Yeah. When it's drunkard behavior. Yeah. So if the whole thing is like, I'm only permitting this because it's so fucking cold. Yeah. Then I'm like,

sit it on ice baby I want every sip to be as cold as it can be that's why we're here the only thing you're offering me is a certain glass check and that it's cold

So put it on ice, mama. Baby. Or else I'm an alcoholic. Put it on ice or else I have a problem. And I don't want to do that. When you were in college, did you ever do eggs and kegs? What's that? Kegs and eggs. Kegs and eggs? This is when I knew a lot of my friends have drinking problems. I remember kegs. Kegs and eggs is when you would do a breakfast keg and then you would do like eggs and then you would go to like a football game. No, we didn't do that. They would drink at six, seven in the morning to go to a football game and I'm like,

Legitimately, y'all are ill. I'm like, I can't. This is insane to me. Where'd you go to school again? Missouri State. Go Bears. Shout out Bears. Go Bears. Love Missouri State. And shout out Tar Heels, UNC Chapel Hill. Let's go state schools. Shout out Tar Heels, UNC Chapel Hill. Let's go state schools. Let's go public funded sports. Let's go for it. Shout out Missouri State. Shout out UNC sister schools.

Sister schools. Yeah. Sister schools we just decided. Founded by sisters, actually. Yes, two sisters. Yeah, two sisters. That's this episode is two sisters. Lesbians, two lesbian sisters. Two lesbian sisters is this episode of So True. They didn't date each other. Weirdo. That'd be freaky. Stop. That's not what they did. You think they stole glances and eventually kissed? Yeah. Stop. No. That's weird. That's gross. Are you in Bitcoin at all? No. Are you? I have. Well, no, but I have something.

You're giving me Bitcoin? No. Oh my God, Caleb's giving me Bitcoin. November 19th. Talk to a coin? November 19th, 2013. You posted on Facebook.

I can't answer the question, what is a Bitcoin? But I do know I bought 25 bucks worth of it in June and now it's worth $200. So that's something. That's because of my friend, Cece. Now what happened? I have one friend who I ended up selling it soon after. I think it would be so much money because at the time I was like, I don't buy this. Yeah. But I have a friend who's really into Bitcoin and twice he's had me buy stuff. That one turned into like $200 soon after I sold it. And then a little while ago he had to sell one that like tanked. Yeah.

Or buy one that tanked. But that's like what he does. And you were in it for a second.

But not. I bought it. Probably posted that because I forgot about it for years. And at one point was reminded I had it and had to figure out how to get in my wallet. I was like, I'm going to sell this because I'm never checking on this. So I have twice in my life bought a cryptocurrency. Chance loves to look through people's Facebook posts. Thanks to my friend. Shout out, Cece. Shout out, Cece. On March 15, 2010, you posted... This is so wild because I forgot I had a Facebook. You know what I mean? I'm so out of that space. I didn't know it was still live. March 15, 2010, Josh Sharp. Anyone want to get Pearl Jam tickets?

Damn, and no one did. I've never seen Pearl Jam. No one did. What year was that? 2010. To this day, I've been like, damn, I wish I saw Pearl Jam. Every time they go on tour, I'm like, who would want to see Pearl Jam with me? And the answer is always nobody. I would go to Pearl Jam with you. My goodness. Put it right there. I love Pearl Jam. Let's go to Pearl Jam. I would go to Pearl Jam with you. Yes.

this is why I posted this in 2010. Yeah. You needed this community. So that 15 years later, you would bring it up on a HeadGum podcast, a phrase I never would have known in 2010. Yes. And then we could go see Pearl Jam. Yes. I think Pearl Jam rules. Me and, do you know Jack Martin? No. Friend of mine, been on the show. Great guest. We're going to see Creed and who else is on that lineup? Creed was huge for me. We're going to see Creed and I think it's Daughtry.

And it's, I can't wait. Creed was huge for me. A person whose first concert was Newsboys. You know what I mean? Because that was secular music. You know, you'd go to youth group and you would do the like, let's find the Christian themes in a Dave Matthews band song. Like we were doing that down. Creed. Well, garbage in, garbage out. Easiest assignment you had because Creed was making the subtext text. He was literally like, yeah, this is secular music, but it's about Jesus, baby Jesus. Wow, you're seeing Creed. Come on now.

I love Creed. Oh my God. Creed set summer of 99, 2025 American tour, three doors down and Daughtry vivid memory of Creed three doors down at the County fair on that one where you're the spinning one where you were up it and it would like go sideways. And because of the, to trickle forward, you could like, you know, slide, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. That one where you sort of felt like you were outside of gravity, vivid memory of them playing three doors down and me doing that. That's great. Fucking awesome. Yeah. I can't wait to go to this concert.

I will be there. I don't know what night. Creed, Creed, Three Doors Down in Doctry. If any of you are listening, I'd love to be on the list. I'd love to come backstage. Pearl Jam as well. Pearl Jam. You could get two noted comedians on the list. You could get two gay comedians. I'll even throw in a post. I'll throw in a post. I'll throw in a social media post. Story and Grid. Story and Grid. And I'm guessing for all four of these bands, getting two noted gay guys is probably a bit of a struggle. It's fun to go to a concert like that.

and open your grinder and like sand comes out where you were like i'm the only gay guy within an eight mile radius as opposed to like when i went to sweat and it was like oh every profile was one foot away yeah like the sweat tour was grinders i can't imagine how many people got laid at sweat tour in the bathroom in the bathroom wow i can't believe no one went to pearl jam with me in 2010 i'm going i just moved to new york you had just moved to new york from north carolina oh my god what month of 2010

Did it say? That would have gone ahead mid-March. Yeah, okay. I was about six months in. That's crazy. Well, we got to see Pearl Jam. I love this. Were there any more good Facebook finds or that was it? Those are the only ones I had. Chance, really good. Really good stuff, Chance. I have a segment for you. Do you find, you probably find some really damning stuff on people that you don't bring to the pod, I assume, because you have conscious. Only fun stuff. But there's probably some gnarly stuff. There's some pretty bad comments. Go back. I invite everybody to.

That's a thing you can say. Just like, show me my comments. Like there's a filter or you have to like, how do you find them? Oh my God. Crazy. Crazy. I have a segment for you. Let's do it. It's time for the twisted true or false segment brought to you by Twisted Tea. Now, Josh, Twisted Tea, these folks reached out to me and said, can we sponsor the true false segment? And I said, yeah.

Yeah, you sure can. And they, specifically for me, they wanted to do it with you. They said, make it a gay guy. Make it a gay guy. And because they think you're going to win. And what's going to happen here is I'm going to read you 15 statements. Okay. Then you're going to tell me if you think they're true or false.

All right? Yeah. And then if you get 10 or more... Thank you for allowing me just to say that. By the way... I was worried it would be like, say, twisted true or T false or something. You don't need to do any of that. I just was worried. You don't need to do any of that. I was worried. I might be like, if it's true, say, that's twisted. Yeah. And if it's... No, if it's true, go, that's T. That's T. If it's false, go, sounds twisted. Yeah. What?

You do whatever you want to do. Thank you for not making me do that. Well, hey, if you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Okay, baby. So that's a game you can get behind. And I'm going to have to fill out a W-9 for twisted tea? Yes, you are. What's more twisted than that? No, I'm going to do it under the table. We don't believe in taxes around here. You heard it. You heard it here first. The lifespan of a taste bud is 10 years. I actually think it's less than that. So I'm going to go false. False. It's 10 days. Yeah. Wow. Not only was I right, I was right. You were big right.

The average human blinks. I want to unpack each one. There's so much to say. We're going to have to circle back. I know it goes quick. Josh, you got to circle back. I know. Hold your favorite ones in your head. The average human blinks over 4 million times a year. True. It's true. Lizards communicate by doing push-ups. True. It's true. Morganton, North Carolina has a population of 17,474 people. That sounds true. That's true. Diet Coke is older than regular Coke.

False. It's false. The pupil in a goat's eyes are rectangular. False. That's true. Oh, I was on a streak. You were on a big streak. There are more people than chickens in the world. False. It's false. North Carolina's state motto is to be rather than to seem. True. It's true. Patrick Mahomes attended Duke University. True. False. Texas Tech. Who is that? Patrick Mahomes? Yeah. He's a sports guy? Oh.

Oh, yeah, that'll hurt. He's the quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. Understood. Very important in my life. Understood. Thank you for the call-in. Thank you for the call-in, brother. I'm calling you in, brother. I'm calling you in, and we will talk off-mic about it. Sugar, I love this guy, Patrick. I love having him in my life, and I love knowing he did not go to Duke, my rival. He did not go to Duke. He went to Texas Tech. Eddie Vedder is the lead vocalist for Van Halen. True, we know this. False. It's Pearl Jam. Wait, oh, you said Van Halen! Oh! Ah!

I literally didn't let you get to the end. Oh, that's it. Got your ass. There it goes. Got your ass. There goes my sponsorship. Damn. Listen, Josh. Listen. Listen. Listen, Josh. One fourth of the bones in your body are in your feet. True. That feels true. That's true. Wicked opened on Broadway in 2003. Hmm. True. True. A pelican can hold more food in its beak than its belly. True. True. Fire was discovered in 1745.

False. False. It was 2 million years ago. Elaine Stritch was a medic in the U.S. Navy. Oh my god! I hope that's true. I bet it's false, but I hope it's true. True.

False. Yeah, I mean, wouldn't that be incredible? Amazing. Wouldn't that be incredible? How'd Josh do? 11! 11! You did it! I get 50 bucks for Twisted Tea! You get 50 bucks! Thanks to Elaine Stritch. Hey, and guess what? What? Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today, and Josh, keep it twisted. Oh, brother. That's on tea. That's on tea. That's twisted. Isn't that twisted? What's your favorite song in the whole world?

In the whole world? Number one ever. No. And don't you dare lie to me. I don't know what number one is. Do you know what I think more than having a number one? There's like a class of... There's like an echelon. Yeah. And there are songs that to me feel like... Do you know what I think more than an echelon? What? A number one. What is your number one song of all time? But there's more than one.

What there is, is there's a level of songwriting where I go, damn, if I wrote that song, that one song, every day I would wake up and go, life well lived. Yeah, I did the life. I don't need to do anything else. I did the life. Yesterday, Tears for Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World came on. I said, that's one of those songs. If I wrote that 40 years ago, I would go, we're good. We're tired. We did it.

But of course, my number one favorite song is the Star Spangled Banner because I love my country. Thank you. You've always been a countryman. I've been a countryman and a country boy. A country boy. Do you have a number one favorite song? I really don't. That's like so impossible. You know what? I will say, all things considered, I'll just say Godspeed by Frank Ocean. Sure. It's a song that came at such an important time in my life when I was massively depressed. And I...

I think it's so beautiful and it has continued to mean so much to me that I'm like, why not? Why not be my number one favorite song? And that's one of those you love when a song in the modern era, you go, this is in the songbook. This is in the great American songbook. Yeah. A hundred years from now, you know, James Blake's already covering it because we understand it is text. You look down on where you came from sometimes. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Wishing you Godspeed. Come on. I love it.

You know what I've been into lately, though? This artist called Billie Ann has a cover of Simply the Best. Do you know this? No. Simply the Best. Yeah, I know that song, but I don't know this cover. Oh, she murders it. She murders it. I think that Billie Ann uses she, but if they use something else, I'm so sorry to Billie Ann. But I love that cover. I've been listening to it on repeat. I'm going to be listening to that. And also on repeat, I've been listening to Jealous Guy by Donny Hathaway. Oh! Love. Yes. You've listened to that live record? Uh-huh.

Oh my God. Yes. That's one of the best produced live records because you put headphones on, mama, listen to Donny Hathaway live. I think it's called live, right? There's the one, I forget what club it's from. It's from some club downtown that doesn't exist anymore that was like, had one of those great names like the boiling point or something, you know? Right. But it, um,

You are in the room. I've never heard a live album that most... You hear the room. You feel like you are in the room. It's crazy good. It's timeless. I was playing it for someone the other night at my house, and I was like, can you believe... That live record, I think, is...

That could be like number one live album. Number one live album for you. That stopped making sense. There's a couple that it's like, again, upper echelon. But Donny Hathaway rules. Number one live recording for me. The girls don't put enough respect on Donny Hathaway. You listening to Lauryn Hill's MTV Unplugged? Absolutely, brother. That's probably my number one live recording. Lauryn, I'm sorry. I know you don't make music for white people. You put it on record. Yeah. I'm not listening. I'm listening. To your creed. I am listening to your music. I'm listening to your music. I'm defying your.

your intentions and I'm listening to it. I'm not going to get the tattoo. I'm not going to do anything crazy. The summer do-op that thing came on, I remember being at the pool. Yeah. Oh my God. You were at the pool. You were at the pool that summer. I remember that about you. And that was one of the, there are songs like, that I associate with like, you know, a classic song of the summer

But when I was like, if it came out like that era, middle school, they are... I remember being like going off the high dive here and like do off that thing, you know? That's beautiful. Like soak up the sun. Oh my God. Sheryl Crow, Missouri girl. Exactly. Oh yeah. Did you know that? Missouri girl she is. Apparently she's lovely. Sheryl Crow? Yeah.

I know people who've like worked with her and open for her and stuff. And they're like, she rules. And you love that. I have met her and she's lovely. That's a person that could, if someone was like, she's awful. I'd be like, eh, sure. I guess I hear that. But like, she's, she's wonderful. She's, she, her music, she wouldn't know. She wouldn't remember me from Adam. I'm certain of it, but I love her music and a lovely person. Adam of and Eve fame. Do you know that phrase? That saying? What does know me from Adam? But I, but is that the Adam we're referring to when we do that phrase? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Prototypical he him. Number one, he him. I used to think, well, he's the blueprint. He's the blueprint for he him. Adam from the Bible is the blueprint. That's true. I'm rewriting that, though. I'm wishing you Godspeed, Adam. I'm going to rewrite the Christian Bible. Are you keeping it that it starts with a he him in your version? Oh, he hims will be centered. Just because that's me. But is that the first still? Are we still pulling a rib out of a he him? Do we originate from a he him? Well, you look at how bad the world is and you think a he him had to originate, don't you? Well, here's a question. Because rib made she her.

In your Bible, what bone has given us non-binary people?

Everyone knows exactly what I'm saying. Rib makes she, her. What bone makes a non-binary from the he, him body? The big G has just pulled the rib out of Adam. He got this great idea for she, hers. He says, I know what, I need a rib. Then he goes, wait, there's got to be something else too. What's the most? Well, of course, because we all know how things go. I got to pull another bone out of this he, him to make this non-binary person my best idea yet. My greatest invention of all time. Right.

femur femur femur femur i'm going femur sure i'm going femur for sure i'm going one of the um 25 of our bones that are in the feet yeah just pick one at will

Just grab a foot bone and make a non-binary. Let me tell you this. There's a lot to choose from. We know that much. Yeah. One fourth of your bones are in those little feet. Grab a foot bone and... Makes sense. They're what keeps us up. Make a neurodivergent person. You think that comes easy to keep your ass up all the time? Yeah. It takes bones to do that. It takes bones, mama. Mama.

It takes bones, sugar. It takes bones, sugar. You think you're just standing up without bones? That's on T. Think again, sugar. If you didn't have those bones, you'd be getting all kinds of twisted. Oh, don't get twisted. You need your foot bones.

The foot bones. The foot bones connected to the more foot bones. There's a lot of them, girl. The drinking bones connected to the party bones. That's a country song right there. You know this one? Wait. Connected to the staying out all night long. Oh, I do know that one. There's got to be a line to that one. She won't think it's funny and I'll wind up all alone. The lonely bones connected to the drinking bones. Yep. There's got to be a line dance to that one. Great song. Is there not already? Not that I've learned, but you know, I'm still- You know almost a hundred. I know, but it must exist, but it hasn't been taught to me yet.

We need to go. You know what you and I should do? Anything. We should do a honky tonk road trip where we just go and hit like every big honky tonk we can find. Absolutely. One a night, every night. Only one? Don't.

Don't limit us. One a night? Oh, I want to experience them. Let's do multiple a night. You think? My nights are sounding longer than yours. Your nights are longer than mine. I can tell you that. No, one a night's good. We want to live in the space. And you want to see it journey beginning to end. Yeah. You know? I want to see the people who show up and the people who don't leave. Save that. Now that's a lyric. I want to see that all. I want to see the people who show up and the people who don't leave. That's what I want to see. That's beautiful. That's just what I like. That's just what I like. That's that shit I do like. That's that shit I...

To like. Mama. Yeah, let's go on a honky-tonk road trip. Wouldn't it be fun? Or a travel show? Are you kidding? You and I should have a travel show. Pearl Jam, if you're listening. Pearl Jam, or Creed, or Three Doors Down, or Daughtry. Give us a travel show. Give us a travel show. We'll talk about your music, and then we'll eat some stuff. Pearl Jam, I love everything you've done in Van Halen. And I think it would be great if you gave us a travel show. I'm talking to Pearl Jam of Van Halen fame. I love what you've done. Eddie Van Halen!

Eddie Vedder, might as well jump, baby. Let's go. Might as well jump into our travel show that we're hosting. Thank you. I went to two great restaurants this week. Say more. Gertrude's, you been? No. You want the public to know what neighborhood you live in? Bleep, bleep, bleep. Bleep that, bleep that. Great Latkes. Great Latkes. At Gertrude's and an incredible raw bar. What neighborhood?

I want to say it was closer to Park Slope, but I don't think it was Park Slope. There's Gertie's in Williamsburg that has great luck. Gertie's, this is their sister restaurant. There we go. I was about to say, because they have great luck because at Gertie's. Gertrude Amazing. And then Strange Delight.

strange delight new restaurant it seems full of whimsy in Brooklyn for a New Orleans food oh come on now I had hush puppies I had crab dip with house made saltines oh come on now I had a fried shrimp sandwich you're a guy who loves New Orleans right like I am I haven't even been to the city of New Orleans you're joking it's one of the only cities we have I know I'm not joking I know I think that's I know so true actually I take it back

My so true is New Orleans is one of the only cities we have in this country. Name the others. Name the others. I can't. It's one of the only. Oh, my goodness. You want me to finally give a number one and not an echelon? Number one city, New Orleans, I think. Really? Well, actually, what I think is true is that there's a lot of great cities in this country, but a lot of them are sort of different versions of the same thing. You know what I mean? Whereas...

New Orleans is only New Orleans. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Someone takes you to the cool neighborhood in insert fun city here. And you're like, yeah, I understand what natural wine tastes like. You know what I mean? It's like it's got its own energy, but it's sort of like this is versions of the cool parts of the city where we live. Yeah. It's beautiful and unique in their ways, but it's like they're drawing from a blueprint. Yeah. New Orleans, you're like, damn, ain't nobody doing New Orleans but New Orleans. It's French. French.

it's French, it's Southern, it's just Creole. It's like so only it in a way that no other city is to me. I've been dying to go. You have to go. I want to go. You would love it. I really want to go. They do love to drink there. I'm certain, I know, and that's part of the issue for me. New Orleans and Vegas. But they love to eat too. That's why I want to go. You can eat right there. I want to go to eat and I want to go, my friend does burlesque there, I want to go see her shows. Oh, and great queer scene there. Like every aspect when you're going to like the great restaurant, it's just like feels so New Orleans. You're like, this is like nothing else. And same with like

burlesque you're like this queer bar doesn't feel like any other one i've been into in united states of america yeah star spangled banner number one song i want to do a voicemail with you get those headphones on oh let's do a listener voicemail and see what they've got for us maybe something good i bet they got something nice wait these have a side right i can't tell do these have a site i found it i have to be on the right side well i like it i like to know but i guess it doesn't really matter it's mixed this is mixed um

It's mixed. Yeah. This voicemail is mixed. This is not mono. No. No mama. Hey, I have a quick question. I need to know why fast food breakfast is so delicious. Why is the cheese so good? Is it because it's plastic? Is it because it's too melty? Who knows? Thank you. Wow. Wow.

I can't remember the last time I had a fast food breakfast. Oh. So I'm about to be out of my league, and yet I have thoughts. Isn't the whole point of American cheese that it was sort of like engineered to melt right? Yeah. It was made in a lab to melt. I'm not joking. That is what it is. I feel like that's the answer, right? That's part of it, and also it's the grease and the carbs. And the grease and the carbs. It's grease and carbs is what it is. And I'll tell you, McDonald's breakfast, yes.

you the most the most stuck-up person in the world couldn't tell me shit about a hatch brown at mcdonald's it's just fucking good it's everything has its context a sausage mcgriddle there's a context with a slice of cheese it's just sometimes correct you don't always want it no sometimes you want a beautifully fresh pastry with the hand-cut fruit and a cup of orange juice that was immediately squeezed out of an orange sometimes you want that breakfast

But sometimes you want a McGriddle with cheese and a hash brown. Don't you feel like you're eating it in your car always? No. I'm just feeling like when I'm having, when I'm wanting that, I'm wanting a diner. I'm wanting to sit down. I'm wanting that ambiance in addition to that grease and carb. But you're having it in the McDonald's. I'm having it in the McDonald's. No, no, no. Never in the McDonald's. That's what I mean. Usually having it in my home. Yeah. In the city of New York, you're doing that.

I haven't had McDonald's in the city of New York. But when you're in the heartland. But if I'm in the heartland or LA, I've had McDonald's. Many, many times I've stayed out until 2, 3, 4 in the morning with my friends in LA. First of all, cool guy. Cool guy.

Well, that wasn't the point. That's cool. Josh, that wasn't the point. But we have to give that space. You know I don't want to look cool on here. Already two in the morning, that's a cool guy. But then when you follow it up with three, four. But this is what you need to know is because the later you stay out, the later you have to sleep in. And bars close in LA at two. So what is he doing at three and four? Friends house? You've gone to an afters, what we call an afters. You're sick. Only cool guys get invited to that. You're a sick individual. That's cool, Caleb. Josh, the point is.

You stay out late, you have to sleep in late, and then when you wake up, you need something horrible to put in your stomach. And that's McDonald's. That's when you call. I'm there in LA, same exact circumstance. Two, three, four in the morning. I've been at the afters. God, I've had the time of my life. New friends. Old, new, silver, gold. You understand? I'm waking up feeling this exact type of way. You know what I'm getting? Going all time.

Yeah, or I'm doing breakfast tacos from, what's it called? Homestay. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting Homestay. Homestay. You're going to Homestay? I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. And rah-rah McDonald's? You want a breakfast? They're the same. You're going to rah-rah McDonald's? Let me tell you something. You want a breakfast burrito in LA? Yeah.

Cafe Los Feliz. Oh, I've been there once. They're good. Cafe Los Feliz on Hillhurst. Is it Cafe Los Feliz or Los Feliz Cafe, that one? I always forget. My guy Arson, who works behind the counter. What a name. Arson sets fires. It's Cafe Los Feliz because there's two of them. Cafe Los Feliz. I hope he makes them spicy with a name like Arson. Sojuk. So they have a Sojuk one that's spicy. Wait, what's Sojuk? I don't know what they name it, but...

They have a spicy one. Is that a thing? Should I know what that is? I think that's just the name of their spicy green. I don't think it's a thing. Okay. But my trick there is you don't get the spicy one. You actually get the regular one and then you get a bunch of their spicy chipotle sauce and fucking. I love that. Are you a spice queen? I am a spice queen. Me too. I'm a spice queen indeed. Make it hurt. Okay. Do you like to go like Szechuan style, like the peppercorns that numb you? Numb. That's such its own ecosystem within the spice ecosystem. I love it. You ever been to Alhambra?

Wait, what is it called? Alhambra neighborhood in LA. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I thought this was a restaurant. Incredible Szechuan food. Honestly, pretty good spicy Asian food at Birds of a Feather in Williamsburg. Actually, yes. And, um, yes.

There's another one I like too, and I'm forgetting the name. So I'm just going to affirm Birds of a Feather. Birds of a Feather. Pretty good spice on that stuff. Pretty good spice. They have a spicy Szechuan okra at Birds of a Feather that numbed my mouth real nice. I love okra. I do too. In every form. Bring it to me in any way. I want it. Pickled okra? Come on. Fried, of course. Fried, of course. Fried, of course. Pickled okra is really good. Pickled okra is really good. Because there's so much texture, so much crunch, so much slime. It's fun. Yeah, I like the slime.

for some reason. Doesn't sound enjoyable, does it? But it is. It is. In that context, it is. But it is. Joshua, it's been an incredible treat to have you on the show. It's been an honor. We love you here. Well, it's, you know, thank you for welcoming me into your home. Yeah. I don't know when we're going to start rolling. This on-air has been off the whole time. I assume that lights up when we start. Oh, we're not putting this out.

No, this was just, I wanted to hang out with you. It's just sort of wild to have that there in front of me, not on. Yeah. We're not recording this. I can't stress this enough. We're not recording this. You'll never see this come out. Good. I was just like, I want to hang out with Josh. I wonder if he'd come to Midtown Manhattan. Good. Hey Chance, do me a favor. I'm trying to hang out with Josh. We got to put on this whole stunt like we're doing it. Book him on the show. You guys can play on your computers.

That's what producing podcasts is, right? Playing on your computer. Just playing on your computers. I'll pretend to do a podcast with him. We'll just spend some time together. No, it was a blessing. I feel blessed, Sugar. Thank you for having me. You are blessed, Sugar, and you come back anytime you want. I'm going to take you up on that. Okay, love you. I'm making a copy of the keys. Thank you. Bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

Hey, hey, I'm Lamorne Morris. And I'm Kyle Chevron. And we're here interrupting your workout to tell you about the Lamorne After Podcast, now on HeadGum. That's right. Every Wednesday, a new episode drops, and we... Wait, Lamorne, what are you doing over there? It's nothing, just polishing my Emmy. Why? Because we're now the only official HeadGum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner.

Is that true? Probably not. But Jake Johnson's on HeadGum. Does he have an Emmy? No, but he has been a guest on The LeMorning After. Which might be an even bigger...

I mean, and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more. Plus, we play games, we tell stories, we poll the fans for questions. We poll them for questions, man. Just polling them constantly. Up and down, sideways, backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds. You'll see. Subscribe to The Little Morning After on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.