Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
- No, I wanted to talk pretty much right away about your love of Trump. You go in really hard for-- - Yeah, yeah. My thing is, that will always be my president. And if you feel different, then you can fuck off. - Yeah. My thing is pretty simple and it's that he's my president. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My pronouns are fed and up.
Yeah, me and my other patriots have just about had it. You either get that or you don't, honey. I like the idea of being a conservative guy who's also a little sassy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, those are my favorite ones. Like, we're sealing up the border, sweetheart. Just crazy, crazy energy.
You and I have, we have personal beef. Yes. That you may or may not be aware of. Yeah, well, you go first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say yours after I say mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm such a huge fan of yours, and I kind of reached out vulnerably and begged you to be in a music video that I was directing. And you messaged back, and I will say, I thought this was, it obviously hurt my feelings. I thought it was brave. You messaged back and said, dream on, fat ass. I would never work with you. Yeah.
And I thought, that is a man who knows what he wants. And I wanted to work with you even more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, somehow I need to join the podcast. I'm like, okay, podcast? I don't know. Can we? No, you know what? And I wanted to do it so bad, like so bad.
But you weren't living in LA yet, right? Oh yeah, I've been living, well I'm back in, everyone is confused about this now. I know, it's annoying. No, people are like, you're annoying. Yeah, get me. You guys are the ones that are like, in your body, like LA, Mississippi. Mississippi! And I was like, LA, FL. Well the people, I think you get maybe three, but what's always driven me crazy is people who do like six of those.
They'll be like Chicago by way of New York. Yeah. Getting time to L.A. Kiss me. Kiss me in the summer. It's like stop L.A. transplant. Yeah. By way of by way of you just took a plane here and then now you live here. Shut up.
No, thank you so much for doing this. I'm such a huge fan of yours. No, no. Shut up. Stop. Stop it. No, because I was telling, I think maybe Robert or someone else. I don't know. But I was telling them, like, I was watching you on Twitter a long, long time ago. Yeah. And so when you hit me up, I was like, oh, my gosh. You know when you're like, oh, they know I exist? Stop. Not our meet queue. I was like, what, me? Yeah, so...
I'm glad that I somehow was discovered by you. Well, I think you're so fucking funny, dude. And I think also everybody who knows me knows I have largely disdain for the internet and content creation. That's my feeling on it. And obviously I'm part of it. But there are a select group of people doing stuff on the internet. And I think you're so, so much more than that. But I found your stuff and I went, this is a guy who can actually write, can actually act, can actually... You're like a full, well-rounded artist. Yeah.
Thank you. And I've just, I've been so impressed and such a fan of your stuff. No, thank you. And I haven't seen much of you, but I think for like you fell off. It seems like after a while I was like, you were on stage for a little bit and then I can't book those stages or something. Right, right. Yeah.
But luckily it made room for me. Yeah. Well, that's another thing we need to talk about is you're kind of stepping in on my territory a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're kind of creeping up on some of my comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They tried to talk me out of this. My people were like, we don't like the guy. Yeah, he's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's mean. No.
That's what I heard a lot about. Yeah, about me around town. About, yeah, and outside of town. Oh, fuck. Words traveling? Yeah. That's not good for me. I was in Chicago and they were like, fuck. That's a horrible place to hear that because I lived there for a couple years and I would think I would have some goodwill in the city, but you're telling me no. How old are you? I am 17 and so I'm so excited to be finishing high school soon. I just turned 29. Really? Yeah.
Oh my gosh. Why? How old are you? I'm 29. That's what I'm saying. We're literally the same place. Twins. Twins. Twins. Wait, when's your birthday? January 24th. Nice. I don't know. I'm like, nice. You're like, oh, really cool. Anyway, are you going to fucking interview me or what? Yeah, I'm like, ask me mine. What is your birthday? It's just October 13th. Do you do just, it's just that silly old birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once a year. Yeah.
Do you believe in astrology and stuff? Do you go in for that? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, what is your sign? What does it mean to you? Well, okay. Okay, so the truth comes out. I know, I'm like, well, no, I'm a Libra. I'm a Virgo rising. Thank you. And I believe my Aquarius. Okay. Yeah, I had like a little rundown. Someone sent me a book of like me. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, like a company.
They do that. They do a book on your birth chart. Yeah. And they sent me and it tells me everything about myself. Whoa, they make it like down to the trauma. They were like, I was like, what the fuck? They're like, third grade was tough for you. Oh, that. OK, that brings me to a good point, which is actually OK. Now, were you like a husky kid?
Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah. 12 husky in size. Come on now. When you went swimming, were you shirt off or shirt on? It was on. My boy. Absolutely. Yes. What about now? Do you go shirt off or on? No. Why would that change? I only got fatter. Nothing went improved. The shirt's still on, babe. It's on. It's actually crew neck on now. You swim like a balaclava. You just completely...
- That's so funny. I was a shirt on kid as well. And it was tough 'cause it only-- - It's tough because it draws more attention. - That's exactly right. I would put the shirt on and people would be like, honey, we know what's going on in the back. It's only like suctioning to your feminine curves. It's not really like, the shirt's just suctioning to your tits. - And then coming out of the water, everything's like tight and everything has a crease. - The neck's like drooping down so far that your tits about popping out of it. It's like you're just accentuating.
You're giving like a modest girl's touch on sexuality. Oh my gosh. It's tough out there. I did go shirtless one time at a water park in Fresno, and it was, what are you laughing at? I'm just, the specificity, I feel like something very specific is about to happen. You know what, Caleb? If I was wrong in thinking that this was a safe place. Oh, you were. This is a very dangerous space.
holly weird holly weird i knew when i got yeah just like hollywood okay i'll make my way i'll make my way what happened at the water park in fresno because i'm not over that you know what i just i took my shirt off and a lot of people were looking um or maybe they weren't i don't know i just don't i just that was the one time i did it and i i just feel like i felt very brave that day and i never did it again since then um
Yeah, that's it. That was the only time. That is the interesting thing, though, about taking a big risk like that. Is it so in your head when you're doing it? Whatever it is, creatively or anything, or even when you're a kid and you do the shirt-off thing, is that even if people aren't looking at you or thinking anything of it, you're kind of in your head like, I've built this up so much, it's like everyone's paying attention right now. Yeah, which I always feel anyways because I'm so full of myself. I'm like, who's not looking at me?
No, but I remember even when I went down the slide, I was like, oh, my gosh, they're going to watch me be so vulnerable when I crash land. You know when I get down there and it's like, fuck.
What a splash. Yeah. Oh, they're like measuring your splash. They've got like a tape measure. They're like, oh, damn. Jesus. Big one. Yeah. Have we had that before? Damn. Okay. How do we get the water back in? What are the kids going to swim in? Guess this is a skate park now. Oh, my gosh. I never went back. To Fresno? To the water park. No, I grew up in Fresno. Oh, so you hung out around there for a while. Yeah.
You were in Fresno. Have you been to Fresno? I've never had the joy. I've never had the privilege. I always bring up Fresno. Everything I do, I always find my way to bring in Fresno. You love where you're from. What's going on with you? What have you been up to? Not much. I've just been trying to work a little bit. I know you know what that's like. Oh my God, work. What are you working on? My mental health. Yeah.
No, no. That's actually in the backseat. No, I'm just trying to get more brand deals. Yeah. So that's it. I just want money. That literally, I do a mantra for every year. I don't really set resolutions. I just do a thing I'm focusing on for the year. And this year, I was like, have fun, make money. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just want fun. Have fun, make money. Yeah.
No, yeah, no, but I'm trying to act more. I just did my first little scene in a movie two weeks ago, and so I'm trying to act more. Did you like it? It was so crazy. Yeah. It was so crazy. For me, it was so new, and it was with, can't say, wait till it comes out. But it rhymes with Chardon Borsaisi. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I can't talk. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. Don't ask. Don't ask me because I can't tell. Just in D.A. City. No, but yeah, I felt so dumb because I never went to acting school. I never took theater or anything. Same. It was new. Yeah, I understand that feeling completely. When I first...
I kind of like fell into acting on accident because I was just doing comedy in Chicago. Yeah. And this, I like was doing like live shows and this agent was like, this like local agent in Chicago was like, would you want to try to be on TV? Like send some auditions in? And I was like, yeah. And I, these casting directors in Chicago like put me in
I had done one small thing on a friend's show, like a friend's TV show on Showtime, another comedian who had a show. Abby McEnany had a show called Work in Progress. But then I was, like, the next thing I got was a guest role on Fargo. And I didn't, all my friends, like, studied acting, and I didn't go to acting school or anything. So I was just, like, panicking because I was like, oh, you have to study this. You have to train at this. And you can, but you kind of don't have to. Like, you don't, I think now that I've done it more, I'm like, oh, really, the only thing you need to do is just do it.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. Thank you for voicing that. Because I feel, because sometimes I feel like I cut in line sometimes on certain things that I do. And it feels so like, oh, I guess he didn't have to do that for 12 years. You're like, ooh, not an MFA from Juilliard, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How long did it take you to get in? Yikes, so you struggled then. They just gave me the billboard. Oh, yeah, I just got up there. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. So it was your first acting thing. What did you... So I did a Hulu show last year. That was my first acting thing, but it was like... I don't know, this one was so much more pressure because the other one was like...
Was like a Hispanic show, so I was like, I got it. Was it This Fool? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that show. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you see mine or no? I don't know if I saw you in it. So you didn't. Because I was big in it. I was big in it. I was half the episode. I watched a couple episodes of that show because I love Chris Estrada, but I must not have gotten to yours. So funny. Yeah, I guess you didn't. Season two, episode seven, I want to say. Your episode. Oh, I haven't gotten to season two. That's probably why. Oh, okay. So I'm a fan-ish. Yeah.
Yeah, so you kind of like it, but you didn't tune in for season two. I'm not racist, so I watch Hispanic shows. I hear you. Me trying to save face? No, I literally love Hispanic people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've seen their work. Yeah, yeah. Tamale's a big fan. Yeah, oh my God, you guys, the whole sombreros, I'm into. But not like, I wouldn't wear one. Yeah, yeah.
Do you know Chris Estrada? I don't know him personally. I'm just a fan of his. He is good buddies with my friend Steve Hernandez, who's a very funny L.A. comic, like a total fixture in the L.A. comedy scene. He will love or hate that I'm saying that about him. But he turned me on to Chris' stuff, and I've been a fan ever since. Oh, yeah. No, Chris was such a safe... Because Chris is such a...
nice, chill guy with zero ego, like everything. So when I showed up, I felt so comfortable and he like, like he just like, nothing was taken seriously from him there. Yeah. And so it was like the perfect like,
first thing to do because I just showed up and like, and then it was cool. Cause like his family all works on the show too. Like from costumes to like product, like PA stuff. And I was like, Oh, this is great. You know? So that, I felt so comfortable. And then, so when I got this movie thing, I was like, Oh, this is so, I got it.
And then I get there and then it's like this, like, and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I grew up watching you. Like I, I can't do this. Yeah. You can't say who you grew up watching, but his name, I can't say it. Mad fit. Oh no, but so hopefully I can act more. Yeah. I want to take acting classes though. Oh sweet. Or do you, are you, have you like looked at, are you, is there like one you're going to sign up for you think in LA?
I don't know. I think I'm just saying that just to make myself feel better. When you got it, you got it. When you got it, you got it. I was just saying that to relate to people who have to do stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I actually feel like I have the whole skill set. I don't know, man. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's just like when you're good, you're good. I don't know. That's kind of my thing. You get qualified. Did the –
So obviously you'll do comedic roles because you're a genius comedian and so funny. Do you have any desire to do more serious stuff? That's what I want to do more. Yeah. Do you do that? Do you want to do serious? Oh, I want to do it all. Yeah. Yeah. I think also a lot of funny people really have a desire to be taken, not taken seriously, but to be like, I can do. No, I think taken seriously. Yeah. Like, did you watch the show on Apple, what was it, The Shrink Next Door?
I think I maybe saw one episode. No, it's the guy in the basement, right? No. And he works at a clown college. For a second, I was like, was there a guy in the basement? No, who was in that? No, that's Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell and Paul Rudd. And Will Ferrell does a crazy job
at making us feel for him. It was a drama, and it was so good. And Catherine Han. Love Catherine Han. My gosh. Catherine Han can fuck me up. Yeah, she was put on this earth to be on our screens. She's just such a talent, and when she's on your screens, Catherine Han is one of those rare people that you're just like, I'd watch her read a phone book for three hours. She's just that good. Yeah, no, she...
And that character in particular, oh and then she did that other one, what is it called? Beautiful Little Things or Tiny Beautiful Things or something? - Oh yeah, there were like six shows called things like that in a row. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that one, the best. - There was like a run of two years there where every show was like five women and it was called like Teeny Tiny Heartbreak. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was like The Little Lies We Must Abide. - Yeah. - Just bing, bing, bing in a row.
What's up, y'all? A few quick things from me. I'm going on tour. I'll be in New York, D.C., Philly, Chicago, Nashville, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston, and Fort Worth in the coming weeks. So please go get tickets and come see me live. If you're enjoying the podcast, there is so much more of it exclusively on Patreon, including monthly bonus episodes from me and additional segments with every guest. So go check that out if you want more So True. And finally, if you're enjoying the show, please tell your friends, subscribe everywhere, leave a five-star review and all that stuff. Okay.
Love you. Ciao. So what's the dream? What's like, do you, is it like you want to have your own sitcom? Is it features? Like what is like the Leo? I want to, you know, I look at different people. I think I look at someone like Amy Poehler and think like, I want to do that. Like I want to star in things. I want to produce things.
you know her and her production company uh still waiting on a call back game and uh amy pick up the phone yeah i'm talking you up big on the pod so just like pick up the phone is all please i'm hungry and uh and someone like will ferrell too obviously who has his production company and and has his name on you know other stuff like i want to do that but i want to star and stuff i want to do funny stuff but i want to do drama i just want to heal yeah i have trauma
Oh, yeah? Well, which kinds are you interested in?
Yeah. Fuck, yeah. So there's growing up fat. There's growing up Christian. There's growing up closeted. I think I could probably keep going. Tell me when to stop. Yeah. Say when. Oh, do I have trauma? Yeah, but I'm stronger than everybody. And so I have handled my trauma with a grace that most people can't fathom. Yeah. I've heard that about you. Thank you for saying that. You told me that.
Drew let me in on that actually about you. I'm going to get rid of it. No branding, okay? Let's get that out of here. Yeah, I have trauma. What is your trauma? And be specific. Very specific. I was just wondering. Oh, just about me? Yeah. Okay. I like opened up to you. Yeah.
Well, for mine, you're going to have to wait for it. That's another one you got to wait for. Yeah, you'll have to peel me back a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take me to dinner, honey. It'll come out on HBO Max, maybe Hulu. We'll see, whoever picks it up. Yeah, whoever wants to pay can hear about my drama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not for free.
- Well, we've got, maybe we can hear some other people's trauma. We've got some voicemails. Can we play one of those, John? - Hi, Caleb and co-hosts or guests. It's Liv from Brooklyn. I'm so happy you decided to drop a pod. Also, finally, I wanted to leave this voicemail and take it to a place of deal breakers. Like if you guys were ever dating someone and they did something and you were like, immediately, no. I was dating this guy over the fall
Until one day he woke up and played a whole Neon Trees album, like the one with Everybody Talks, and I couldn't do it anymore. And then this one time a guy was being tried pulling off his hat, and it just didn't work. So I would love to know the truth about your deal breakers. Love you. Bye. This is a great question. What are your deal breakers, Leah?
Do you have deal breakers? Oh, in dating? Oh, yeah. I'm 29 morbidly obese. Like, what do you mean? I'm not, like... You are a successful, funny, sexy man in his prime. It's not enough. Oh, it is for me. I've got deal breakers for sure. I kick these hoes to the corner, left and right. Do you have a roster? Yes. Shut up. Shut up.
No, I'm not trying to. It just, I have like guys I see casually in like the cities I go to most often. You know, like when I'm in New York, there are like guys I see. Yeah. There's guys in Chicago that I see. Less in LA. It's hard to date as a fat person in LA. You're telling me. It's a, I have, I have dated in so many major US cities and a couple abroad. Yeah.
And LA's the worst city in the world that I've ever tried to date in. Okay. Horrible. Where's the best? The best? For me, I have probably had the most fun and the most luck in New York. Yeah, had great times in New York. I haven't. No, you know what? One time I was in Reno. This was not even that long ago. Maybe like eight months ago. And, you know.
You know, you have a hotel to yourself. Come on now. You got a little spot. Ooh. And it was a suite, Caleb. Come on. I know it wasn't just a single room. No. It was a suite. It was a suite. There was a nice stove in there. Yeah. And no, but then I get on, and then first message I get is like, oh, you're from TikTok. I was like, okay, cool. Okay. Never mind. So I just don't try it. Now, see, I sleep with those people.
I sleep with people who message me things like that. Do you? Okay, I have a question. Do you actually sleep with people? Because, like, white people, you guys love to say, I sleep with people. Like, do you actually go to sleep with them? Or is that, like, are you just, like, smashing them? No, they don't stay over. We're fucking, yeah. So I fuck those people. If you message me, oh, my God, I love your whatever, your TikToks or your stand-up or whatever, and you're cute, you can probably hit it.
Okay, and you have deal breakers. Oh, but I have deal breakers. Because it sounds like you're a whore with no values. No, if you're cute and you message me that you're a fan of me, we can fuck for sure. My deal breakers are for relationships. When I'm dating. When I'm dating, if you're mean, if you're a mean-spirited person, if you're mean to... It's nothing new. I don't think I'm unique for this, but if you're mean to a server or something, you don't tip...
Um, if you don't ask me questions about myself, I, if I'm on a first date and I have asked you more than five questions in a row about yourself and you haven't asked me something, I'm telling you that I got a call and I need to leave. Like I, you can't, I cannot be, cause I've been when I was younger and insecure and didn't feel sexy and desirable and like worth somebody who's good to me. I did so much heavy lifting and so much working and trying to stretch myself and make
I would ask them a million questions and I would put up with so much bad stuff. But then once I really went through like a journey of self-love and feeling like confident and like, no, I'm sexy and funny and nice and like a catch. Now I don't put up with any of that kind of shit. That's just deal breakers for me.
My deal breaker is just music. Like bad taste in music? Okay, so what would be the number one thing? Also, sorry, I completely was like, right, let me answer that. Okay, actually. I'm like, and I learned to love myself, and you're like, music. Oh.
I feel that 100% for sure. You do it, girl. What is the biggest, what's the artist or song or genre that someone could love that would turn you off the most? What is sublime? Sorry. You have an in for white people today. You have an in for the Caucasian race today. As I said it, I was like, wait. Wait, who?
And you know what sucks? I get down to sublime. I do. You do? Yeah, when Santa Ria comes on, it's just being from where I'm from. Yeah, well. If you're white and you, if you're a white guy who grew up in Missouri and you would go out on the lake, if you did lake culture, you're listening to sublime. Okay, but is it this song? I won't play it. Get ready.
Get Ready by Sublime. Can you play it? Can I play it? Oh, we probably can't play it, right? Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Well, it's just that one time I was driving my car in the IE. Do you know the IE? Mm-mm. Oh, the Inland Empire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And after that, I was like, oh, no, I can't. Because he wanted to keep playing Sublime. And I was like, oh, no.
A guy you were interested in? Well, it was just like a quick little... Hey, now. But like with the windows down and like the thing is like he thought he was in a movie. The windows down and it's like sublime, playing super loud. And I was vibing and I was like, oh, I can't do this.
Because my thing is like, no, this is coming off super racist. I want to be with a Spanish speaker. No, that's not racist at all. But just like little, I like to talk Spanglish. Yeah. And I feel comfortable there. And yeah, so I kind of got over that one. But then the sublime came in and I was like, okay, that's where I fully draw the line. Because I just couldn't.
No, I'm with you. I couldn't do it. And after that, you know, but then like sometimes it gets hard because like I don't like, it's hard to like meet people sometimes. And so then it's just like, oh, you know what? I'll listen to Sublime again. So you can get back on Sublime if it's been a while. Yeah. You're like, you know what? What are your biggest green flags? Like what are the things that you go up for? Credit. Credit.
740 or above. I was thinking 600. Oh, damn. Yeah, I know. You're worth so much more than 600.
No, no, no. No, biggest green flags is just a nice person to everybody. I don't like people who are only nice to me. Yeah. I think if you're like, you know what? Oh, you know what's so hot? When someone is so nice to their parents, I'm like, oh my gosh, like you guys have healthy relationship.
That's so weird. Yeah. So weird, but I can't look away. Like, oh, my God. You hug your dad. Oh. You know, like. It was like, kiss him. Two different things, Ken. No, but yeah, I think that's it. And just nice. I think I, family-oriented. I mean, I didn't grow up with, here's the trauma. I didn't grow up with family. And so for me, like, when I see family, I'm like, ooh.
Because for a while, I was super against it. Not against it, but I was like, ooh, I don't want to be there. That's so weird. Yeah. But now I'm like, this is nice. I got to get out of my territory or whatever. So yeah, anything like that, anybody who likes the same music. Which is? Any sort of, I love any Spanish music. Do you like Bad Bunny? Yeah. Do you? Yeah.
I wouldn't say I'm a fan. I don't think I could list off. I couldn't be like, this song over this song and this record. But anytime I hear something by Bad Bunny, I'm like, fuck yeah, let's go. Yeah, yeah. I love. I'll tell you what my favorite piece of work by Bad Bunny is right now. What? The pictures that he dropped on Instagram of him in the bathtub. Sorry. That was like the hottest thing I've ever seen. You didn't see the pictures from last year. What were the pictures from last year? I'm not going to pull them up, but I got to show you. I got to show you this.
No, because he posted something during the pandemic that was very... He's so hot, he needs to stop. Every time he uploads a photograph to the internet, I'm in a way. I'm still wondering what this message is. I responded this to one of his stories in September, and I wish I knew what story it was. Get out!
By the way, what I'm looking at is a phone screen of 3,000 messages you have sent to Bad Bunny. It's just like November, September, October, November. It's going over and over. And can I say what you messaged him? You messaged him to no response at 1219 p.m. on September 4th. Can I smell it, please?
And that's legend shit. I don't know what story it was.
I love him. Oh my gosh. Leo Gonzalez, horny legend. Inventor of being horny. Dangerously. I made eye contact with him at the Grammys last year. Down terrible. How was it? It was crazy. It was me and, you know Brew? Brew. On the radio, Brew. He's killing it. I'm kind of jealous and threatened by him.
But CBS invited Brew and I to go to Bad Bunny's rehearsal for the show last year. And we were sitting there, and I was like, oh my gosh. And then at some point, Brew left because he's got a lot going on. Closing deals in the bathroom, et cetera. Yeah, he's killing it. It actually angers me. And I was sitting there, and it was just me and Bad Bunny, just me and Benito. He looked at me.
And, like, I didn't want to talk to him because I didn't want CBS to be like, get out, you fuck. You know, like, I didn't want them to, you know, tackle me. And so he looks at me, and I literally just went like this. I was just like. And he looked, and he sees me, and he's like, oh, my God. I need him so bad. That, like, pussy was purring. Purring. Like, I was like.
I'll fight Kendall. My whole body is like, I feel like I'm paralyzed right now. If he did that to me, here's what I'll say. If I ever came to political power and somebody did something like that and then didn't fuck me, enjoy prison, baby. Enjoy that cell that you'll be pacing around in. You're going to give me this guy? You're going to give me a beautiful lady in a cartoon hand and you're not going to come fuck me? Enjoy prison expeditiously.
Yeah. Three hots and a cot for you, bitch. It's abolished prisons with me, but not for that. That's crazy. You're hitting me with the, oh, hello. Yeah, yeah.
That day was so different. Yeah, that was my, that was everything. Congratulations. Thank you. That's huge. Thank you so much. I didn't ever know that you had had something like that happen, but I really feel so powerful. You know, because I've been to his tour a few times, and who else in that place can say that you had his direct attention? Yeah. Like, yeah.
It's just you. It's just you. I think in that moment he felt the same, too. I think that all the backup dancers, his peripheral vision just went away in that moment. I think that it felt the same. And you shared a similar moment with Joe Biden at the White House, correct? Joe Biden went to you and said... What did you chuckle at? Oh, it happened? Sorry, I was doing a good joke. That happened.
Fuck. This is so humiliating. I didn't know you and Joe. Joseph R. Biden? Yeah. Joseph Robinette Biden? Yeah, he needs me bad. Yeah, he needs me medically, bitch. He thinks about me when he goes to sleep at night. Honey. I love, I love. Have you been to the White House? Oh, God. When am I not at the White House? I've never been invited. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've never been invited.
I don't have it like you do, baby. I'm not like you. No. I don't have it like you. Hey. I'm an indie guy. You're different. I'm different. You're unique. I'm unique and special. They keep me hidden because they know I'm such a prize. They say, keep him in the reserves for when we really need him. Yeah. No, I have not been. What was that like for you?
No, it was good. We don't have to talk about it. I was just asking. Now I feel like I brought it up just to be like, yeah, I spoke there. Oh, honey, it's on my list of things to talk about. No, no, no, no, no. It was fun. It was great. It was fun and great. What is the thing that you would most like? If you could snap your fingers right now, all of Hollywood's into it, we got the money. What's the thing you would make? What's the Leo project? It would be the drama thing that I wrote, a series that I have that I'm working on right now. I think that would be the thing that I'm like, oh.
I want Sandra Bullock to watch. Like, I want it to just be, like, Jennifer Gartland. You know, like, that would be it. That's what I want more than anything else on my list right now. Yeah. What is the, is it like a half hour episode? It's an hour long? Yeah, they're an hour. It's like a, I guess right now it's designed as a mini series, like an eight episode, an hour each. Wow.
That's so cool. And if someone would make it, that'd be pretty sick. If there's any funding. If there's anybody with money watching and you want to kind of throw it over here. That's always the big, I mean, that's been my, I am consistently surprised having like worked in entertainment now for a little bit, like a couple of years. I'm consistently surprised that the things that there are money for, um,
and the things that there are not money for. I'm like, it is baffling to me the amount of money that shuffles around this business. And some of the things that there seems to be endless money for, I'm like, really? Like what? Name it. Name it. Yeah, if anyone thinks on this podcast I'm going to be naming things I don't like, you're fucking crazy. After what just happened to IO, I don't think so. But yeah, but then also the things, the beautiful, brilliant, incredible genius things that there is not money for, I'm like, huh?
huh, how? You know? In a business with this much money, it always surprises me. Yeah. So I'm looking for any sort of sugar daddies. Must speak Spanish, must have money, must be sublime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gathering the green flags. Yeah. Be nice to servers. Be nice to servers. That is, I always feel so dumb saying that because anybody who's half a decent person feels that way, but I'm like, it really is just like,
There's like three stress tests, I think, on a relationship. The first is a really early one, and it's how you treat servers. The second is going to an event together where one of you doesn't know a lot of people, like a party or a family event, how you react in those situations. And the third is travel specifically when it goes bad. Cancelled flight or hotel. Oh, yeah. Hotel doesn't have the reservation or just a nightmare when you're traveling. That's a stress test that will reveal everything you need to know. Yeah.
No, yeah. On the... Okay, so we'll touch on each of those. Yeah, let's just kind of... The server thing, like, I don't want you to only be nice to servers. I want you to submit to the server. Let them dom you. For real. For real. Every time that a server comes, I'm like, I feel so, like...
sorry that I'm thirsty. I hate that I need more Sprite. It's killing me to ask you for another Dr. Pepper. I hate it because I'm just like, I'm sorry. Hey, Kathy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just my fork came with dry gravy on it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Can I just get another one? If not, it's cool. You know what?
fuck it fuck it fuck it i'll buff it kathy and i know you've got yeah yeah both your kids are starting high school right now i just i hate to bring the fork situation up yeah yeah yeah i'm like i see it here i'm like this is mine it's mine it's mine long and bond that's one of my highlights idiot idiot no so i want them to submit for sure um
that's one what was the second one oh the yeah yeah yeah I think as I got older too I'm like trying to be more social with people and so I think like I'm just trying to be like involved more like I never used to be and so I'm trying to be a green flag too and then the travel thing there was one time I came back from New York or something from DC with someone and
I don't know. I think there may have been a threat or something at the airport. And so traffic was like, nobody was getting in or out of the airport. And so we walked for like two miles to get an Uber because the cars weren't moving.
And this person was so mad. Yeah. Whereas I was like, I'm just glad the plane landed. Yeah. I'm just glad we're here. We're home. Yeah. You know, we're going to walk a little bit. That's okay. Yeah. We're able-bodied and like, you know, I'm losing a little weight. It's not for nothing. Dropping a few pounds during the experience. Yeah. And after that, I was like, oh, I don't.
Yeah, I can't do that. Like, I'm not trying to be with someone. Because also, like, someone overly positive, it's like, all right. Yeah, I don't need you to, like, sing a song about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't need you to be like, the pain was bad, but we're going to walk it on out. I'm like, just walk. Just walk and be regular. Yeah. Will do. Yeah. Yeah, overly positive is a real fucking buzzkill. It is. I hate. But I'm learning to accept it.
like people who are so positive because I think before I was like fuck you like no you're not you're lying but now I'm kind of becoming less negative where I'm like I think you're actually nice yeah like I think like you actually like someone like you know what yeah my manager Brendan he is so nice and positive yeah that for like two years I was like
what is this? What is your deal? What is fucking up with Brendan? Like, why are you like, you clearly want me to fail. Yeah. Like you clearly are not for me, like all these things. And then like, I heard him have a, like a phone call with like his mom. Uh, and she was so nice. And I was like, Oh, you're just healthy. Yeah. Like what the, like, you just, you're just a nice guy. And like, you know, and, and, and I went to his house and,
He has a son and a baby. And they're all so nice. And I'm like, oh, maybe Leo is more traumatized than he thought. And these people are just living their life, and they're happy to be here. And so I'm trying to work on that. You get to the house. The baby's like, can I get you anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything. We're so happy to have you over. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. The baby's like wearing a little butler costume. He's like, we thought it would be fun. Is it too much? Is it too much? It's too much. I'm taking it off. You want me to keep it on? I'll keep it on. Like an infant.
Whatever you want. We do have the saunas ready if you want to hop in, but if it's just a chat drop by, we love that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. I just don't want to be anything else. You know? Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. Are you good? No water? I'm good. Get the sparkling. Get the sparkling. Can we get him a water? Like snaps at the parents. Leo needs a water. Hey, Bren! Get the fucking water. And it's like, oh my God. Oh, awesome. We brought Leo over and we don't have water? Yeah.
Fucking awesome. Leo, literally if I was in charge, you know, honey, this would have been. Oh my gosh. I love imagining that baby. Okay. Someone get out a final draft where we're sort of cooking up a script. Yeah. Leo, what is something that is so true to you? What's something that is like your favorite?
One of mine is that, I say this all the time, people are going to get sick of hearing it, the Beatles lucked into what the Rascal Flatts deserved. I feel that way. Beatles, not very good. Music's fine, decent.
Hot take. Not much going on. Yellow Submarine, you give or you take. You know what I mean? But when the Rascal Flats come on, life is a highway. No, life is a highway. Everybody shakes their ass. Yeah, put on Yellow Submarine at a party and see what people do. Yeah, see what happens. Put on Rascal Flats, me and my gang, and see if vibes are a little different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's so... Have you seen them in concert? Rascal Flats? Yeah, yeah. No. Okay. Haven't had the pleasure. Okay. Okay.
No worries. I just said you liked him. Yeah, like a fan. No, love, love. Do you like Luke Bryan? Luke Bryan. Don't know much of his stuff. Oh, okay. Is he the one who goes, country girl, shake it for me? No. No worries. So, no, I don't think so. No, he does, he's like, he sings like, Crash My Party. Oh, I love that song. I don't want this night to end. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's great. He is.
Oh, he is country girl shake it for me. Is it? Vindication. He's so good. He's great. He's so good. No. So what am I? Something that's true to me. Okay, Leo. We have a true or false segment. Now, this is actually a huge opportunity because if you get, what was the number chance?
How many do we have? 15. If you get 10 of these right, I'm going to give you 50 U.S. dollars. Okay, now you can use that anywhere you want. This is U.S. cash. Cash, like physical cash? Venmo.
But you just cash it out however you like. Yeah, well, we'll figure out the payment process. I'm assuming I'm going to win. You're like, you better have the cash now. Bitcoin or nothing. Or nothing. So this is, I have 15 true or false questions for you. I'm going to say a statement. You're going to tell me if you think it's true or false. The lights don't dim? They don't dim. And I'm just as quick as you can do them. Let's see what happens. The Goodyear blimp is the official city bird for Redondo Beach, California.
True. True. The boiling point of water is 110 degrees Fahrenheit. True. False. 212. Humans have the same number of neck vertebrae as giraffes. True. True. Tom Sawyer was a real person. True. False. Curious George does not have a tail. True. The first email was sent in 1992. True.
True. False. 1971. Whoa. The most expensive Pokemon card ever sold is worth $2.5 million. True. True. Vine videos were seven seconds long. False. That's right. You know it was six, baby. Identical twins have the same fingerprints. False. False. One in 18 people have a third nipple. That much? False. True. A lightning bolt is five times hotter than the surface of the sun. False. True. Sacramento is California's third state capital.
False. False. It's the sixth. You must have at least a thousand followers to go live on TikTok. True. True. McDonald's was originally a barbecue restaurant. False. True. Steve Perry from Journey was born in Stockton, California. False. Hanford, California. Bitch. Let's go. How many did he get? Nine. Oh, no. What? So that Zell thing got figured out pretty quickly. Okay.
Yeah, we wrapped that up with a bow, didn't we, honey? Oh my gosh. Some of those were unbelievable. I know. We get real, I will say, we get chance rights and we get real litigious with the numbers. We'll be like, it was 211. False. 212. We're really running kind of a fucked up show here. You should offer more money then. Oh yeah, okay. Leo's like, awesome, and when do I give my notes on how this was all ran?
Would you guys like it in writing or just kind of now on mic? We can do it now. Yeah, I'm happy to do it now. It's documented. Yeah. And put it out. Release it. Release the footage for real. A little web extra. Okay, guys, go over to Patreon where we will be talking with Leo about what he hated about this experience. Don't forget to check it out, you guys. It's $50 a month. I'm in a bad way with some worse people.
Oh, my God. Leo, I'm such a fan of yours. Thank you so much for doing this. Oh, yeah. Robert, what do you think Leo's so true is? Well, Murat is my favorite band. What is that? It's a band from Colombia, Colombia. And they're the best. I guess I can't say they're the Spanish Beatles. I guess I'll have to steer away from that. The Spanish Rascal Flats. No, I'm in. No, you know what? They're like a mix of like...
They feel like a little, like, they're Spanish, but they feel like a mix of, like, Mumford & Sons and, like, a little, maybe Coldplay, maybe One Republic. I'm in it. Both. And I just love them so much. And, um...
But that can't be it. That can't be the thing. I'm in deep on that. What is... They sing all in Spanish? Yeah. All the songs are... I'm here for it. I love... I'm going to see them actually in like 12 days. Where at? Here in LA at the YouTube theater. Hell yeah. I'm so excited. And you know who I'm seeing two days before that? Come on. Bad Bunny.
Okay. You have a huge couple weeks coming up. I mean, first you get booked on this podcast, which is like, I know it was just a big... No, my agents, after they told me to not do it, they were like, but it is a good opportunity. It's bad business to be aligned with him, but God, you got to get in there. Yeah, publicity, any publicity. Anything works. Bad Bunny and Murat? Murat, yeah. So February 23rd, Bad Bunny in Vegas. February 25th, Murat in...
These are your plugs. You're like, guys, please get out to see Bad Bunny in Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure you get the merch, man. He's just been really going through a lot after Kendall. What's going on with me? You guys can support me by going out and seeing Bad Bunny in Vegas. Catch Marat in LA. Every night, every Thursday, CBS runs a great sitcom. I'm not a part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No season of The Neighborhood, so make sure please tune into that. Dude.
Oh, my God. No, yeah. You do concerts. Love concerts. Did you do Taylor Swift? I did two nights of the heirs tour. Yeah. Okay. Didn't pay for the tickets, y'all. Don't have it like that. Let's just blow up some more. No, I went. My friends were opening for Taylor in Kansas City, where I'm from. And so I went to see both nights. Well, hold on. No, hold on. Hold on. Oh, here we go. All right. Here we go. It's illegal to have friends. Who are your friends? Moona.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. So I kill with lesbians. Yeah. Yeah. I can have pretty much any lesbian anytime. Yeah. That's crazy. Did you like meet Taylor? No, I have not met Taylor. The show was amazing though, dude. And it was really, I actually had a really kind of cathartic experience at the heiress tour because I've always liked Taylor Swift. I wouldn't say I'm a Swifty. Like I don't keep up the way, because her fans are, it's a job. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a full time. So I don't want to do Stolen Valor. I'm like, y'all are the older ones. I just love her music. I loved Tim McGraw when it came out. I've been around. Picture to burn. Tell mine that you're gay. I loved her when she was homophobic. I loved her sex. She's dating Travis Kelsey, one of my favorite football players. I'm in on Taylor.
But at the concert, I had a really cathartic experience because it was at Arrowhead Stadium where the Chiefs play football, and I grew up not far from there. And, you know, growing up gay in Missouri, there's like a lot of just like – I felt a lot of tension just being where I'm from. And football was – I played football growing up, and it was such a masculine, like hetero-feeling thing, but I knew I was gay. Yeah.
And to see Muna, such a queer band that I adore as artists and also as human beings, to see them play there and people holding up pride flags in Arrowhead Stadium, it was just like a conversion of things that were important to me in a way that never felt possible when I was a kid. I could have never imagined I'd be watching
a queer band perform at Arrowhead with pride flags in the fucking stadium. And I'm, I just was like, I really was looking around and going like, this is crazy. I never dreamed of it. Yeah. You know, it just felt so, everything felt so like copacetic and unified in a way that when I was a kid just felt like they could never, you know,
Oh my gosh. That's so, oh yeah, yeah. That's great. I just went there too, to Arrowhead. You went to Arrowhead? Yeah. Oh, you did a tailgate at Arrowhead. Did you have fun? It was fun. I loved it. Your place is so, so pretty. It's very special. Yeah. It's like the- For you to feel those things, it's like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Did you feel like healing?
I don't know. I talk about healing a lot. No, healing is a great word for it. It felt very healing. It felt like, whoa, all these things that felt incongruous about me as a kid, all these things that felt like they were bad or wouldn't work together or the puzzle pieces couldn't possibly fit. Now here I am as an adult with this life I've built for myself that I love, and everything's okay. And your friends being these people, these artists, and you're...
I don't know, what a crazy feeling, right? Yeah. For you to be there with your friends and your friends are... And I think that's what's special about this job that we get to have is like being friends with other people who are chasing their thing.
And that leads you back home. Yeah. Like, oh my gosh. And I will say, yeah, a bunch of friends had come in to see the show as well. And I had just a month or two before that bought my house in Kansas City. And so I had my housewarming party that weekend. And it was like a bunch of friends from LA that I adore. And then a bunch of friends from my growing up and new friends from Kansas City and my new neighbors. And like, it just was a weekend that I was like, yeah, there was a big feeling of like everything worked out fine. Yeah.
You know, you're doing good. Everything is good. And it was very nice. Take your shirt off at the pool. Take your shirt off at the pool. Take it off. You know what? Don't spend one more day swimming in that shirt. Don't spend one more day putting up with that guy who loves Sublime. Ask for what you need. No, wait, you want a house? Yeah. It's not nothing. LAUGHTER
They practically give them away in Kansas City. Yeah. You don't have to be doing very well to buy a house. No, no. It's a huge accomplishment and honor, and I'm very grateful. But, yeah, just really by being gay on the Internet, crazy what that'll get you. I just get on the Internet, and I go like,
Like POV, the barista was rude to you. Like kicking my feet up in my mansion. Yeah. But that was it. Congratulations. Thank you. You said you talk about healing a lot and you have brought it up a couple times. Yeah, a little too much. No, not too much at all. I adore it. Are you on a healing journey? What's going on with you in that realm? Yeah. What are you laughing at, Robert?
Was there a joke there? No, because I wasn't kidding around, so I guess... And that's your guy? Your circle. Right, and so he's inner circle and you brought him in here? Into the safe space. But he's mocking you? And he's inner sanctum. Huh. But what are you healing from? Can't imagine. Yeah.
No, yeah, yeah. I think this whole thing is healing. I think this whole job is healing. It's so special to be... I think I used to tell a lot of jokes in junior high, and then life got a little busy after that.
And then we picked up again like four years ago. And so I think that's healing when you get to remember like, oh, yeah, things used to be funny back then. And now we get to do what we were always doing, messing around, joking around, laughing at our human experience. And it brings you great people, some not so great people. Yeah.
And healing comes with it. And so, yeah, I feel like the little kid is getting checked off a bunch of things. Yeah. I don't have a house, though. Yeah. And don't ever forget it. No, but it's so obvious through the things that you make that you're such a...
and smart and funny and kind person that you've garnered this huge fan base of people who want to see you win and a couple people in your inner circle that you need to check out. But yeah, you deserve it all. You're the best, and I'm such a huge fan. I can't believe you came into the pod, dude. I can't believe you let me in. Yeah. Well, it was a conversation. Yeah. The security was like, do we let him in? He's outside screaming that he doesn't like you with his agents on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to convince him. I don't know.
No, thanks for being here. No, thank you so much. Anytime. Anytime. I'll be back. Oh, cool. Tomorrow or? You think I'm joking. I'll be back. I live nine minutes away. So it's not a big deal to me. Gas was good today. Leo Gonzalez, we did it. That was toxic, right?