Schulz Is A DAD, Taylor Swift Wins Super Bowl, & Putin Tucker Interview Reaction
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flaygur and I and a Kid. Yo! Gang, gang. How you feeling, dude? I feel great, man. Everybody, her name is Shiloh. Daughter, eight pounds, seven ounces. Full head of hair. Her mother's nose for everybody. I'm not going to lie. I was actually, I didn't tell you guys this. I went to do a 3D scan or whatever when it was in the belly. So they can give you these very realistic pictures of what the baby looks like.

And Emma gave it to me for my birthday, for my 40th birthday. So it was like a beautiful gift. But we went there and I got to get the image. I don't know if it was her face was like pushed up against. Her nose was...

It was to the point where we were like, all right, well, we can do something about it later. Like, for like weeks, I was like, and I asked the technician who did it. It was crazy. It was like half

the size of her face. It might have been .5. It might have been .5. Bro, it had to be something. And you're blaming yourself probably. Of course I'm blaming myself. Emma's nose is a tiny little button nose. The nose is taking half of the kid's head. And I asked the technician and I go, hey, this sounds horrible. I know I sound like a horrible father. But I asked the technician and I was like, yeah, but it's just in there and it will probably change. And the technician looks at me and Emma goes, you know what?

My daughter looks exactly the way that she looked when I got my 3G. What an asshole tech. Son. Lie to me. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. No, none of it looks exactly. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Bro. Oh, my God, dude. So, yeah, it was absolutely crazy. But, yeah, here we are, man. What's it like first time you put the baby on your chest? What are you thinking? All right, so labor was crazy. Emma, water breaks. Water break is not like the movie. I thought it was splash. It's not splash. She thought she peed herself a little. She was unsure. I had paddle booked the next day that I was mad excited about. Yeah, you didn't cancel that until way too late, by the way. Super late. Let the record show. Could be a false alarm.

I was like, it might be a P. We're on the way to the hospital. I'm like, yo, that shit might be a P still. They might tell us to go home, and I got paddle locked. I didn't cancel paddle until the last minute. You're crazy, bro. We go...

I mean, if it's a natural birth, it's going to take hours. I could go sneak an hour in for a paddle. I was thinking that, but then here's the thing. I was thinking that. No, here's the thing. So every week before that, the gynecologist fingers my wife in front of me, right? Because they got to see if she's dilated at all. The uterus is dilated? The cervix? The cervix. The cervix is dilated, right? So just fingers my wife right in front of me. No big fucking deal. Shout out to Dr. Gubala. Great job. Never moaned once.

Come holler at me if you want to learn something. So, great job? Really? Was it a great job? Exactly. You don't know how to finger. You know what I mean? If you want to talk to your boy. Being all mechanical about it. Right? With your gloves and shit on. You need lube? What about that? What about saliva? You ever try that, Doc? Anyway. So...

- She wasn't dilated. Literally, we have a doctor's appointment. Next day, that night, we're about to get in bed. Gets out of bed, oh, I think she peed herself a little bit. Goes to the bathroom, more pee's kinda come out. Pees, then stands up, a little bit more pee is coming out. And she's like, oh shit, is this it? Then you get hyped.

- Fuck. - Then you're excited. - I'm hyped hearing that. - Right, you're like, oh my God, it's about to happen. Like this is great. It's like the movies, they're water breaking, but it's little trickles, you're not exactly sure. We clean it up and there's like a little like pink in it. We were calling Alicia, Mark's wife is a midwife. So she knows like everything about it. She'd like work with my wife about like how she wants the birth to go. My wife had this whole birth plan. I got the birth plan memorized. I got it written down. I'm fucking ready to go, okay? My wife was like, I wanna do it natural. Women, it's a big thing for them to do it natural, which is dumb.

But they care about it. You know what I mean? I have no reason why. I think it probably makes them feel like more of a mom or a woman or whatever is nonsense. Epidural immediately is not even a question. So she wanted to do it natural. She didn't want to take this thing called Pitocin. Pitocin is used to get women to have contractions be more regulated and then start to really dilate the cervix so you can get it ready. It needs to be at 10 centimeters for the baby to come out.

So she didn't want to do that. She wants to do a natural, et cetera. So this is her birth plan. She's fucking ready to go. Water break. Second water breaks, you got to go to the hospital because there's a risk of infection. So you can't like what's called labor at home, like go through the beginning of the contractions and just sit at home. So we go to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, ready, hyped. How'd you get there? You drive? I'm wondering. Uber. Uber. Uber. Uber black? Uber black.

Come on. Come on. Come on, bro. Of all days. Come on. You're not going to spend an extra seven bucks on an Uber Black, bro. Most important day of your life, bro. It could be a false alarm. It could be a false alarm, son. It could be a false alarm. You know what's crazy? She didn't just bring some old fucking Hyundai alarm for this. 2001. You know what's crazy? That morning, I took an Uber Black to paddle. I knew that.

I need to stretch out because my knees are tight. If I don't stretch my legs out in an Uber on the way, I'm going to have a tough time in my paddle lesson. She's fucking my paddle lesson. She probably wants a smaller car. She wants a smaller car. No, no, no. We probably did Uber XL or some shit like that.

Anyway, so we get to the hospital, admitted to the hospital, go in this little triage room or whatever like that they call it. They just kind of figure all the things out. Contractions start a little bit. You hear about these contractions. You're hyped, you know. Yeah.

We did all these like lessons to learn about. We're like, okay, we're looking for 411. Okay. Every four minutes for one minute for an hour. That's how we know something's good. I don't know what it was, but I remember 411. So that's what I'm like. I'm timing out these fucking contractions. It's fucking great. It's exciting.

go into another room. She's not dilated yet, right? And they're like, oh, I think we should put you on Pitocin, that thing she didn't want to take, so we can get you to dilate. She's like, all right, it's the first thing I didn't want to do, but fine, we'll do the Pitocin. Problem with the Pitocin, starts those contractions. Contractions get really bad, okay? Up the Pitocin. They start at like 10. 20 hours later, we're at 30. Epidural. Oh no, she was in labor for 24 hours. 24 hours.

baby's heartbeat starts to drop. Oh, fuck. Now, keep in mind, I haven't told anybody. Anybody who's come out to the live show knows, but it was really difficult for him and I to get pregnant. You guys knew about it. I didn't talk about it publicly. I've said it at the stand-up shows. For some reason, I felt more comfortable doing that. It's really what The Hours is about, but it's really fucking hard for us to get pregnant. And the entire time, you're just like thinking that...

It's not going to work out. So basically for like almost two years, I'm just like, this is something that's going to happen because everything that did go wrong went wrong for us. And so even up to this date, I'm like, fuck, is this when it's going to go wrong? You're like waiting. Everything feels right. The water broke. It's like out of a movie. This is great. And then all of a sudden you're there and she's not contract. The contractions aren't lining up and then she's not dialing. You're like, fuck. They put her on the Pitocin. They keep on upping it. She's still not dialing.

Then baby's heartbeat drops. The nurses kind of run in. They're like, hey, can you move to your side? We just want to make sure something's okay. Or move to your back. Move to her back. Heartbeat comes back. Again, baby's heartbeat drops. We're like, what the fuck is going on? Doctor finally comes in and goes, okay, we're going to do a C-section.

And so Emma's like heartbroken, right? Because she's like, I worked so fucking hard. I wanted this birth to go this one specific way and it didn't. She's like, I'm working out every single day. I was like preparing my body for this journey. It was about to go on and then it didn't happen. And she's upset because she's like, I didn't want to take the Tocin. She's like, I didn't want to get an epidural. She didn't want to do all these things. Nothing at all, right? For the most important day of her life. Exactly. And in that moment, you're like, you want to...

But listen, we're here for a baby. However we get the baby, that's the success. We're not here for the birth plan. The birth plan is a nice way to go about it, but that's not the success here. It's happy, healthy baby, lock in because we still got time. And this is 24 hours, no sleep. You try to sleep, contraction kicks in every five or six minutes. She wakes up, you wake up with her screaming. You're like, is everything okay? You know what I mean? You're just fucking terrified. It's fast.

Take you into this room. Surgery room is set up. There's like this makeshift bib curtain. It's not really a curtain. It's like a bib that kind of blocks her off from here. Now, keep in mind, Emma hasn't eaten anything for 24 hours because you can't eat when you're on the drugs. And now they're pumping her full of drugs so she can be further numbed because they're about to do real surgery, right? Yeah. So she's on her back. She just starts yakking.

So they go for like a little throw up bowl. She's throwing up into this thing, trying to keep it all together. I'm kind of next to her. I'm talking to her. I'm terrified. And all of a sudden they start doing the cutting. What are you trying to say to her in this moment? Just like, I love you so fucking much. We're not a few bits or something. Yeah, I was working material. No, no, I tell you exactly. I was just-

I was... You don't need a payoff, baby. MSG, just wait. Sorry. So I was basically... I was going... I was just telling her about great... Just times we had on vacation. Yeah.

Like it was just imagining those moments where we were really kind of in love and it was just things that we really enjoyed. And, you know, remember when we were doing this and I'm just saying, keep in mind, she's numb. She can't feel anything. She can just feel her body being pulled in different directions. And I'm next to her and there's this bib right here. And literally I'm just talking to her as this has happened. Her body's going like this because they're just tearing away. Yeah. It's a mind fuck. And then trying to pull the baby out. Yeah. Now,

Keep in mind, we were watching this show, True Detective, and in one of the episodes of True Detective, it's taking place in Alaska. I won't take too much time, but there's these babies that are born stillborn. So the baby comes out, and you're waiting for the baby to cry, but you don't hear the baby cry. So Emma and I just saw this episode, and she's like, I can't watch the rest of this. It's too scary. Remember, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for us. So there's no reason for us to believe that anything's going to work out. Yeah. Okay? Fucking...

What I'm telling her this story and all of a sudden she goes and Emma's like hey, I don't hear crying Is everything okay? And I don't hear crying either and I'm just waiting for crying and you're just hearing the doctors go and then you're here The doctors go there's a lot of blood. There's a lot of blood and I'm like, oh my god is Emma gonna be like Yeah, it's not just the baby gonna be okay. Is that gonna be okay? She's been on this pitocin which induces hemorrhaging in a lot of women after the birth so

You're like, fuck, and I don't want to scare her about the blood. So I'm like, no, no, no. And then they go, yeah, we don't have the baby out yet. Everything's going to be fine. We go, okay. I keep telling her stories. Hey, remember that time when we were in Kyoto? We're walking around Kyoto and we saw that. I mean, the whole process in that whole room is an hour. This moment is maybe like 10 minutes, five minutes. I don't know. It's crazy.

"Hey, remember when we were in the pyramids? "We were walking on the pyramids?" She's like, "Yeah, I remember we were on the pyramids." And she keeps on, "Yeah, tell me another story. "Tell me something." And you're just like this, and all of a sudden, there's like a pretty violent pull on her, and then she stops, and then we just hear . - Wow. - And you're just like, "Oh my God." - And you're like, it's like, for the first time, this is gonna sound exaggerated, but I genuinely feel this way. It's like, for the first time in almost two years, I feel like I could breathe.

I don't know if the baby's good yet. Emma goes, hey, here's the plan. She told me this before. If we have to do C-section, I want you to be with the baby immediately and you do like chest on chest, like skin on skin contact, which apparently is good. Go be with the baby. Make sure everything's okay when they're measured. Do not leave the baby. I go, okay, here's the thing. I don't know that baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my connection is not, this is the wildest thing that you'll ever experience or have in all you guys. When the baby first comes out, they tell you the second you look at your kid, it's the most, no, that's an alien.

My wife has a hole in her stomach. Yeah. The size of a bowling ball. I'm looking back and I just see blood everywhere around his stomach because I walked around the curtain. So I'm with this baby and there's this beautiful moment. This like life has been brought in the world. But all I can think about is, is my wife going to bleed out? Is that life? Yes. Yeah, man. Fuck. Yeah. And I'm glad you didn't look around the curtain while they were taking it up because I saw that nurse at school. That shit is great. What does it look like? So it's like when they cut, they just...

Pull the skin. That's what I'm saying. Like you, you see her. I'm like, this is too aggressive. This is not right. It's like, no, this is the way it happens. It's like just.

Like that shit was nuts. Crazy. I'm glad you had to. Crazy. The Ben Carson C-section. Get two sword fucking slices. He talks about the magical hands. Magical motherfucking hands by hand. Life Tour, Charlotte. Thank you so much for selling out the show. We added a second show in Charlotte. Also Nashville. We are coming. Austin. We are coming. Phoenix. We had a second show. San Francisco.

You saw that all four shows. That's incredible. We'll see what we can do about that. But thank you guys so much. More cities are also available at theandrewschultz.com. Go there. If there are tickets left, go check them out. And Philadelphia, you're up next. I will see you there soon.

Yo, San Jose, thank you guys so much. That was crazy. They had just expanded the club. We still sold it out and we had more people coming after. We filled up every standby ticket we could possibly fill. Other people still didn't get in. That was amazing. One of the best weekends of my comedy life. Thank you so much. Also, February 23rd and 24th, Oklahoma City. We're not doing the 22nd anymore. I have to film a little something. You will see what it is soon. But Oklahoma City, February 23rd and 24th.

and March 1st and 2nd, Greensboro, North Carolina. I'm excited to be in a place that might not be so cold in March, so hurry up and buy your fucking tickets to that. And March 8th and 9th, Stanford, Connecticut, April 11th through 13th, Tempe, and April 18th through 20th, Denver, Colorado. We're doing another 420 show at Comedy Works, this time at the bigger location. Let's see what happens. Get those tickets and more at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. So I go over to the baby.

They asked me I'm like in a state of shock I'm worried about the you know, love of my life is over here just went through this intense surgery fucking vomiting There's blood everybody still hearing them saying there's a lot of blood so I'm still worried about that and then I'm seeing my daughter and it's this amazingly beautiful moment, but I'm still that's where my love is right now, right and and

I mean, the daughter's there and I'm like, can I say, the daughter holds my fucking hand. It's amazing. You get an emotion. You're crying. You cry at the fucking, the second you hear her cry, you start to cry. And they asked me if I want to cut the umbilical cord. And I go-

No, you, like, I don't know that it's ceremonial. You know what I mean? It's already been cut. But I'm like, the umbilical cord is where she gets the blood and the oxygen and the food and all that shit. I'm like, no, I never cut an umbilical cord before. And then the lady goes, no, no, it's already been cut. It's like a ceremonial, is that the term? Yeah, ceremonial. Ceremonial thing, whatever. Symbolic thing. Symbolic, whatever. Mister, I can do brain surgery. I cut that.

Cut that shit. I cut that little calamari, bro. It was – yeah. Anyway. And then – fuck, man. And then I get the baby. The baby is on my chest. It's amazing. I go back to check on Emma. No, no. I'm sorry. I go back and check on Emma. She's like kind of delusional. She's like, go back and check on the baby again. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Get the baby. And then immediately we bring the baby and we put it on Emma's chest. It was really important to her that she had this like skin on skin time. Yeah. Immediately. Apparently it's important for the baby too. So she hasn't eaten anything over a fucking day. She's been on pumped up for drugs with empty stomach, throwing up and everything. And she like, bro, this was awesome to see. Like it's awesome when you see somebody give everything they've got. Yeah. Like locks in.

Like primally. Primal, like where the gas tank's empty and then there's a new gas tank. Yeah. And a lot of us don't even realize that gas tank even exists. It only exists for this one purpose in the entire universe. Locks in, baby here, kissing, hugging, blah, blah, blah. Then I take her, knocks out. Wow. They move her to a different room to have skin on skin. Comes back, locks in, skin on skin, baby latches, gives the baby the first feed.

literally sucks the last bit of life out of Emma, knocks out. Emma goes, before she passes out, she's like, hey, don't fall asleep. I have to sleep. Don't fall asleep. Just keep an eye on the baby. I go, okay. I go, I could do that. Baby's in there.

This is the weird thing happens remember I said that you don't have the connection with the baby initially Yeah, that that things it starts to seep in to you. Okay. Okay. I thought you were gonna fall asleep Okay, no it like it's the we I said it I think I texted you mark and it was just like in the way that like if you pour water over a cobblestone, you know how it will fill every space and

That's what the love for the kid feels like. It just starts to seep in and then this weird protective instinct comes in. And I didn't go at it with this doctor, but a new doctor came in from another floor and was like, hey, I'm here to check on the baby. And I was like, can I see some ID or something? In my brain, I jumped to the conclusion that she was gonna steal the baby.

So I didn't let her in and I went and I asked the guy who managed the floor and I was like, do you know this bitch? That's valid. Do you know this fucking bitch? No, no, no. And I knew how irrational and insane I was being. Do it. But it's weird how it kind of...

Kev on stage said a thing that I think will apply within reference to this story. He asked his dad, when do you stop worrying about your kid? And he goes, never. The worry's just changed. So that's just a sign that, like, you're going to be a great father. And then this is just kind of the worry is. Oh, my God. But then, yeah. And then we.

She did work there. And yeah, she could have not. She could have not. Was it awkward when she came in? Were you like, yeah, you know, just not taking any chances? I was totally fine with it. I had nothing to explain. I felt zero. I was like, yeah, this is a good concern, father. You should like me. You should want people checking you. Yeah, a thousand percent. Random women shouldn't be able to walk up to your baby wearing a different color uniform.

I guess another floor got a different color. It's not a fucking MacBook I'm watching. It's a child. It's a big deal. That makes sense. If it's a different color uniform, I thought it's like the same white coat as everybody else. She has the name tag here and he's asking her, do you work here? She has dark blue. That's the other thing. You could get these costumes anywhere.

They're not like administered by the hospital. I'm looking at her. I'm looking at her shoes. Right. She didn't have the same. They all wear these like Calzeros or something like that. They're like they're a version of a croc, but it's a different type. It's a fancier croc. This bitch coming in with new balance. I'm like, hold on. Yeah. He's ready to run. Ready to run. Exactly. Ready to run with my motherfucking baby. Long distance. I'm like, not not my baby. So this other dude who's looking over the floor. I told you this shit. Other dude looking over the floor.

He's like, no, no, she works here. Everything's good. I'm like, all right, keep an eye on her. I got to go get a coffee. I come back. That dude who runs the floor is also a nurse. He has to pump out the blood from my wife's vagina, and he does that by pushing on her stomach. So my wife is vagina out. I told y'all this. Vagina out, and every 30 minutes, he got to push on her stomach and then shoot the blood out of her vagina. Fuck, dude. Right? Does that three times. Before we leave, looks at me, he goes, yo, bro, big fan of the pod. Fuck.

Yo, son, been staring at my wife's pussy. You know what I mean? Pumping blood out of it. And it hits me with a big fan in the pot. We could have just gone our separate ways, fam. Thank you for listening. But I don't need to know. Did he snap a pic, be honest? Nah, I mean, mental. You too? I think mental pic. He might have when I went to go get the coffee.

That's crazy, right? You gotta let bygones be bygones with that one staring straight down my wife's vagina. Yeah, as long as I'm in a vulnerable moment, I'm not a fan at that moment. I'm just gonna be like, yo, I'm gonna move on. Yeah, you don't know me, I don't know you, and you don't know what my wife's vagina looks like.

Anyway, he's like, yo, your wife was in a spin cycle. It was crazy. Every nurse during the C-section was a fan of the pot. Male nurse, every single one.

Wow. Every single one. Shout out to all of y'all. Yeah, they're listening right now. But fuck was she bleeding so much? You know what I mean? The fuck? Y'all got to stop listening to podcasts while you're doing surgeries, motherfuckers. Can't they use code words or something? Bleeding a lot is like... Yo, my man said, yeah, it was like, there's a lot of blood or there's hemorrhaging or something like that. That shit is terrifying. Yeah, you like restaurants have code language and they don't even need it. Yeah, 86. Yeah. 86 on the mom. Give me...

Can you just use restaurant language while we're in the surgery? I can hear you. Son. Oh, my God. So, yeah. And then the hard part starts where you just got to keep the baby alive and it's just whatever. But now it's like. I'm surprised it was cool with all these male nurses.

Son, at a certain point, like so many medical professionals done fingered my wife in front of me, bro. You just got to take the L. You know what I mean? You just got to take the L. Oh, the doctor came in and said this. Doctor comes in and she goes, hey, I just want to let you know, you were never going to have a natural vaginal birth. And we're like, why? She goes, you're way too thin.

Like you're way too thin on the inside. I guess it's the cervix or whatever it is. She's like, there's no way to tell. Cervical wall, I think it might be called maybe. Basically, it's like a martini glass. I guess it opens up in there. But you can only feel like the stem, like when you put your finger in to see how dilated it is. But like she's like, yeah, it would never, it would have never gone through. Would have never happened. And...

And, yeah, I always thought it was me, son. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Not to make it about me, but, you know what I'm saying? I always thought your boy was, you know what I mean? I thought your boy was thick. Turns out. You know what I mean? Turns out she's a skinny mini. Turns out. You know? Shit. With all due respect. Oh, my God. With all due respect. You know what I mean? I thought. Your guy is crazy. You are crazy. What? What?

Now, y'all want to know that your wife got the Venus fly track. Do you know what I mean? Got the Kung Fu. You want to know your wife got the Kung Fu. Doctor certified Kung Fu. All right. All right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I was talking about home. Move past this really quick, bro. Yes, and. This is improv. My wife hates me, bro. That's how time at home is. Thankfully so. I'm just trying to help. No.

I'm trying to help. My wife hates me, bro. You've done your job. And she should hate me. Yeah, this is helping. This is going to help. She's a hero. You see what she went through? You see what she went through? It was unbelievable what she went through with that little tight pussy. You know what I mean? No. No, it's crazy. That's crazy what she went through. Oh, man. The whole time I thought it was me. You know what I mean? At least I know them noises was real. You know what I mean? Y'all don't. Y'all don't.

Y'all don't know if your wife's noise is real. I do. I know. Doctor certified. A gyno came in and said my wife is tight. I'm just saying. That's a fact. Yeah, but it's not you. You can't date crap. Yo, hey, hey, hey. He's like bowling with bumpers.

Son. You know what I mean? Hey, a strike is a strike. I'm taking my strikes however I gotta, bro. Oh, my God. Another man coming in the room and telling you your wife's pussy. It was a woman doctor, son. It was a woman doctor, son. It was a woman doctor. That would kill our conversation. Nah, as long as you don't make her laugh, I'm fine. Don't make her laugh, yo.

Don't be funny while you're doing surgery. I'll beat your ass. I'll beat you up, bitch. You can make my wife laugh during surgery. I'll fuck you up. Son, that was crazy, bro. Nah, but my wife ate me now, so it is what it is. But she should.

I've heard that is a thing. What do you do? I mean, they do everything. There's nothing like, baby, I love, the baby wakes up. Listen, you've never done less and felt more productive in your life when you pick up a baby that's yours and you're just looking at them. Like everything else, you look at your phone and scroll and you just feel like a piece of shit. You're like, I'm wasted. I should be reading a book. I should be learning something. I should be spending time with my family. This right here is...

The greatest five minutes, three minutes, whatever it is that you'll ever have in your life. It's incredible. Oh, dude, that video you posted where she smiles at the end. I mean, I didn't talk at the first time. I saw it in a comment. And I was like, oh, wow. That's so fucking... Like, what a beautiful thing to have on camera. It's unbelievable. Yeah, it's just unbelievable. Yeah. And you don't know... Do they recognize you or not? It doesn't even matter. It's just the coolest... Everything about them is cool. Like...

about when they sleep it's the cutest thing you've ever seen when they cry it's adorable when they burp it's the funniest thing everything about them yeah is the most that you've ever experienced yeah when they throw up it you everyone dies laughing when they fart it's the funniest thing yeah I remember when Luther had a kid he took a shit and he was like you welcome see this is his

funny. It's the coolest shit. When they first shit, it's dark. It's a dark shit. It's an onyx. It's a dark onyx. It's the darkest shit you've ever seen in your life. And then it starts to lighten up. But that first one, they've been plotting on it for a while. Yeah, that's true, dude. That's a long month cooker right there. Yeah, when she pees, her nostrils flare.

So she was like, that's what she pays. I mean, when she farts just like me, constantly farting. Yeah, that's fire. Does she imitate it too? Oh, no, but I do. In about two months, you're going to just lift one cheek and fart. Yeah, it's fire. And then how was it when your parents came?

Oh, my mind. You get the thing about babies is like they literally bring out the best version of everybody. As long as they're not like crying on a plane or something like that. Like even then I find it cute. You're like a fucking good human. Fucking asshole. Take a bus, bro.

But yeah, like anybody that sees a baby, they're on their best behavior. They're their kindest. They're their sweetest. They treat you the best. Like all of a sudden, you're qualified as like not an asshole. You could be an asshole. You could be a horrible parent. But when you see somebody like pushing a baby, you're like, all right, they're probably not. Decent. Yeah, they're probably a decent human being. They're taking care of a thing. Yeah. You know? And like seeing my mom weep. Like my mom's like a tough, like Scottish woman. Yeah, I've never seen her. Immediately weep. Oh, yeah.

Like, adorable. Yeah. You know? Dad is clocked out. Dad is... Dad, like, multiple times just on the couch, like, who is that? Like, oh, that's your granddaughter. That's a reasonable... That's a granddaughter. That's sort of cool. You should tell her to come out to Fire Island. Yeah.

Multiple invites. Multiple invites. That's the reason why she just got here, though. You know what I mean? She just got here. 100%. I mean, yeah, it's just... No, but imagine getting that news multiple times. That's what I'm saying. Oh, the best day of your life? Every minute? That's fucking awesome. You're a granddad immediately over and over again. Also, anytime you share that you have a kid with people who have kids, they get to relive the best moments.

of their kids' early childhood. So their eyes light up and they tell you about when their kid was just born and how magical it was or when their grandkid, yeah, it was fucking awesome. Do you get the picture stereotype now? What? Every new parent's like, oh yeah, look. Yeah, picture. Oh, I find myself doing it and I know what I'm sharing with people. They don't give a fuck and I still do it. I don't give a fuck. Like,

Like I know when I shit with you guys, you guys care. Yeah. Maybe. But I know the average person doesn't, but I will still. Yeah. And you should. That's your most proud of creating that. Yeah. Over anything else in your life. Yeah. Like your mom seen this, the scan of you. She's like, it's the nose. She was worried. She was worried.

It's also weird when you look at them, you see, like, I saw my mom immediately. It was creepy. And I wonder if it's like a biological trick that you're supposed to see either yourself or your relatives in your kid so you don't assume that your wife's a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? And then, because I would be a bitch if she got it. That'd be a mean thing to do. It's a cruel joke. It's a prank. It's a mean prank. It is a fucking mean prank. Super rude. But, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling at this point. No, dude, it's great. Yeah, it's just crazy. It's amazing. First one to have a kid. Jason Cuss. Jason Cuss. I tell you guys this. He goes, yeah, you got to hide the diapers. I go, why? He goes, well, you hide the diapers, and then your wife's like, we ran out of diapers. And you go, well, I'll go get some more diapers.

- That's good, that's good. - Free game. - I hit up Uyeda, I hit up Uyeda, he's like, oh dude, he goes, well my baby mama, she liked this specific thing from Starbucks. He goes, those are the two best parts of my day. I go get her Starbucks in the morning, I get her Starbucks in the afternoon, and I love those are the moments. And you're basically finding these moments to be of service.

But get the fuck out the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As well. Because while the baby's sleeping, you can't play with it. They can stare at it for so long. It's impossible to stare at without giving it a kiss. It's impossible. I can't even imagine. It is impossible. I can't even imagine. It's crazy. It's crazy.

Also, you're not supposed to sleep with them on your body. Nothing makes you wanna go to sleep. When they're asleep. It's like a little weighted blanket. TV's on. The heat comes on in the apartment. Also, they don't bitch about anything. You can have full level conversations. Yeah. Babies don't care when you're scrolling. You know what I mean? They love it. Scrolling Instagram all day. I will say this though. And they're right. My wife is right. And women who just give birth and are doing all the things are right in this. But

They don't realize they need something until you sit down and exhale. At the moment of sit down and exhale is their brains go, oh, can I have the weight distributed in the apartment a little bit more with you over there? The second you sit down. It makes complete sense. Of course. Because it's like I'm doing everything. This motherfucker is exhaling. You ain't do shit, fucker.

First of all, what you exhaling before? You got me sour gummies. I got her sour gummies. You had a 24-hour labor. You stayed up, drank coffee. Talk to me. That's it. That's it. It was like day four. We were in the hospital for a while. Day four, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm going downstairs in the elevator to get a coffee. And I remember thinking to myself, I go, oh, shit.

Oh, this is the going out for some cigarettes. Like, I would never. I would never. But? But this is when it happens. It's this time. The intrusive thought gets in there. Yeah, like, I'm in there. I'm all by myself. I'm like, nobody would even know.

Like, I'm just going to get off on the second floor and then go get some Starbucks. Because that's what I would do because I love my kid more than anything in the world. It's amazing. I love my wife more than anything in the world. But someone who didn't would take this feeling and they would go get some cigarettes. And then you'd never see them unless you made the NBA. Yeah.

That would be the only time. Oh my God, man. So you just look at the car keys. You're like, bro, I'm telling you. Not even the car keys, the Uber app. He's getting himself an Uber black. I need some comfort. Yeah. Anyway, listen. So yeah. Anyway. Thank you guys. Everybody who came out to, there's a lot of people that came out to life tour, which is really about the whole process. Why it's called the life tour. Um,

but about trying to get pregnant. And a lot of people would DM me afterwards and they would like wish us best of luck. And they would like pray for us, which was, you know, I'm not very religious guy, but for whatever reason really means a lot when people who are religious offer to pray. And we really needed everything, all the help that we could have gotten. That meant a lot. So I just want to say thank you to everybody who came out and everybody who's been supportive through that process. And also people who kind of kept this a secret as,

I know it seems weird to talk about it on stage, but also not really want it to be out there. I think when we discussed it on the call, someone brought up a good point, which was like you were talking about something that you had gone through, but you hadn't had the baby yet. And you already said everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. And I would be like, I don't want to jinx anything. Bro, I was so terrified of jinxing it. But like even on stage, like we had an agreement, my wife and I, like we wouldn't talk about getting pregnant until the baby could survive the

a premature birth. So I think after like maybe six months or something like that, the baby can... Okay. So I didn't confirm on stage up until then that she actually got pregnant. It was like, okay, we've... Yeah. You know, we're trying and hopefully everything will go well throughout this process. And...

So we were just so fucking scared. You get superstitious. The miracle of childbirth. As you get older, you realize that it is a fucking miracle. Like so many things can happen. Bro, you know what happened? I became a feminist and an anti-vaxxer day one.

- That's an interesting combo. - Day one. - I became an anti-vaxxer day one. - Why? - They come into the room, they're like, "Hey, would you like, we'd like to give the baby the hepatitis B shot." And I go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa." - What'd she do that for? Who's she fucking? - So I didn't know that. Literally, I didn't know that, right? So I go, "Hepatitis B?" I'm like, "What's hepatitis B?" They're like, "Oh, it's just the--" I'm like, "Well, how do you get hepatitis B?" And then they're like, "Oh, well, it's a sexually transmitted disease." And I'm like-- - See what I mean? Suck my dick.

Don't give me hepatitis B. You got to get the full cocktail. You got to get everything. I'm not saying you don't. What I'm trying to say is we don't need that day. Like what's happening in the nursery that like you're worried about this baby getting hepatitis? We can leave that one off the list. I'm not even saying leave it off. Like we just made a baby. Day one, you're going to give her a vaccine for some shit that...

It would be hopefully really hard for her to get. Yeah, it's kind of a diss, dude. Because they give it if either of the parents have Hep B. And so they're basically being like, yo, just to be safe. It's like, what? What are you saying about me? What are you saying? Do I look like I have fucking Hep B? I understand the rationale at least. But it's like, could you ask if I have it? Yeah, let's just figure out if I have it. All I'm saying is no, thank you on that.

on that one. It should be like dim sum. I check all the ones I want. And then if we don't want it, we don't want it. Exactly. That's a great, yes. Dim sum with the vaccine. And I'll be honest, some shit is changing about vaccines now. What's changing? And this is the, it's like parents don't want to admit that they're skeptical. Because Emma started to research some shit. She was like, it's not the vaccine, but like, she's like, the chances of her getting hepatitis are like one in a million day one.

The chances of her having negative effects based on the aluminum that's in the vaccine are like 1 in 1,300.

So it's like you have a one in a million, I'll go with one in a million odds over one in 1300 odds. Yeah. In the beginning. And eventually when the baby's built up a little bit more, you can handle it. But I see why there is a skepticism around the vaccines when they're like coming around day one to shoot up your baby. And there's really no upside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or at least ask me if I got the help, like you said. Yeah, again, I think it's, dude, being completely anti-vax is crazy, but also every vaccine I need to give them, I don't believe that either. We went to this pediatrician because you've got to schedule your appointment and all that kind of shit. It was a really beautiful mom. And they were like, yeah, so we're wondering about the vaccines. And the pediatrician goes, she's like, we're wondering the time with that. She's like, yeah, do you want to space them out a little bit?

They suggested it. That means, you know how many parents gotta be in there asking it for it to be spaced out for even the doctor? Yeah. To go and- To preemptively. Exactly. And we're not talking about like some like goofy off the res Appalachian Mountain conspiracy kooks. We're talking about some fucking finance bro parents going, what exactly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I'm not saying we should be skeptical about all the vaccines.

You just see why it exists. Is that fair? Yeah. On the day you meet a perfect baby and you're looking at this thing and you're like, this is perfect. And all of a sudden they come in and they're like, hey, we're going to fix some things. We just got to make sure they don't get an STD in this. You know what I mean? It's like, no, bro. No, I'm not doing that one. Now you're saying.

Now you're seeing it, dude. Come on. This is how it happens. You move to Florida, and then you fucking become my family. Welcome to the show, baby. One part of that I really love. One part of that I really love. I love Florida. Exactly, dude. And Florida's not bad. You're going to like that, too. I'm telling you, bro. Pally you around, dude. Pally you around. He knows how to get us down there. Anyway, I'll let you out. So...

Whatever. Thank you guys for letting me fucking get all that out. That was pretty awesome. And thank you guys for being so supportive throughout this whole process. I know that there's been times that have been high stress that I've definitely come into the pod. No, not at all.

Son, I developed a breathing issue. It was crazy. When you said, that's what I thought of. When you remember when he goes, this is the first time I could breathe. Do you guys remember on Patreon, he was like, I just can't take like a deep breath. I haven't been able to do it in months. Yeah, he's like, I need a nose surgery. Son, you need to have a baby. Son, Joe, I was so, like I had thought about this the other day. Like imagine having my size nose and not getting enough air. I have none of the benefits. I should have excess air. Yeah.

At all points in time. I should be lighter than I am. You could be an air donor. Yes. If there was one of those, I should have that. The fact that like, but yeah, I looked it up and there's like this stress-induced, it's not asthma, it's like hyperventilation. And like-

Yeah, I was just like, I would. And then on Brilliant Idiots, it would happen. Sometimes it happened. I would be yawning a lot and people thought I was tired. But it was a symptom of not having enough oxygen. So your body takes over and just induces a yawn so you can get enough. Yawning is an anxiety thing. I do it all the time when I'm anxious. Yo, it was fucking crazy. Stress is crazy what it can do to your body. It's crazy. It was like, I think one of you guys was saying this. It was like your body...

Eventually, what is it? There's a book called Healing Back Pain. Basically, the idea is like a lot of times your body creates pain or physical, physiological issues to distract your mind from like the overwhelming stress and anxiety. It's like, look, you're not trying to deal with that right now, but I get it. So let's just have some other shit pop up. You can focus on that.

And that's kind of the idea. My wife had migraines, let's talk about this, like every day for like months. You guys knew that. And then we kind of dug and she was going through a lot and it was a lot of stress stuff. And then once she started to understand that, the migraines have mostly gone away. Every day for months she had migraines, debilitating migraines.

That's fucked. Similar thing. It's just stress can have an insane impact on the body. I never believed in that shit. I thought that shit was gay. Yeah. Like my whole life. I'm like, what do you mean you're stressed out or whatever like that? It still can be gay. It's probably. That's why you were yawning. Just trying to suck somebody's dick. Get a dick in his mouth. Help me. So, but yo, low key, like I just couldn't get full breaths of air. It's the weirdest thing.

It is the weirdest thing to explain, but basically what happens is I try to take a deep breath and it just never feels like it gets to that satisfaction point. Yeah, there's like a, yeah. Where you just feel like you got enough. It would always feel like at 80%. Dude, I remember doing shows at the, weirdly enough, when I'm on stage, it wouldn't affect me.

Like for whatever reason, I guess your brain snaps into like a different survival mode. Yeah, or like this hyper focus and you can't be stressed by these other things. But I remember I'd be doing shows at the cellar and then in between I would have to leave and I would go to this little park off 6th Avenue where they had these benches. And I would do these box breathing techniques that they give like Navy SEALs and shit where it's like a six second breath in. Hold. Hold.

Exhale. 12 second exhale or whatever. Yeah, six seconds. And then you just keep doing it. And I'm like, I just, anything I could do to find a way to be able to breathe. Yeah. And it was just crazy. And that was for over a year. It's just like. Yeah, you're in a little bit of denial about the stress. I think it's out of the rest of you. You're like, are you stressed? I'm like, no, I'm not stressed. And then you'd be like, hang on one second. My girl's calling me.

Babe, is everything okay? I think it was a little stress. Every phone call, you're like, this is it. Every call, if her name came up, everything okay? And then she'd be like, yeah, you're late. Where are you? Yeah, we have to be together. I forgot to bring it. Yeah, it's just so... I mean, it's just so...

Crazy. Anyway, it's awesome. And thank you guys, everybody who came out and saw. And thank you guys for being so supportive. You guys are fucking awesome about the whole thing. And yeah, we got a little baby in the Flavor fam. That's fire. Pretty cool. That's fire. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Do you feel like, was it fun being settled? I know whenever you have a week or two of doing nothing, you get fucking antsy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This, you had two weeks of obviously doing stuff, but kind of just being in the crib. No, not at all.

Mine was all fun. This hasn't changed your relationship with nothing to do? No, I felt like I was, yeah, no, I need things to do. I was like, can I breastfeed? Like, what? Do you want to pump? That's illegal. Put it in the bottle? That's illegal. Yo, the baby tried to latch on me. When the baby first came out, I had to be like, yo, I had to curb my own daughter. That's a diss. Real talk. I got some titties, yo. Damn, bro. But, uh...

Yeah, but no, no, like I still want to do things. I want to keep my brain. You know, the idea of like, yeah, whatever. Was it the opposite? Were you like, yo, I want to get after it more? Like, I got someone to fight for now? No, like everybody said that too. They're like, yo, the second this baby happens, you're going to want to go out there and work so hard. I'm like, I want to retire. Hang out with this baby all the fucking time. Play paddle and hang with my kid? That's the best day ever. Like, yeah, yeah, but yeah.

But in terms of like, yeah, I want to do things. I love that my wife has the ultimate purpose right now. It's incredible. Like she's literally giving life to something. And I think that the dad really...

comes into play a little bit later as I've talked to some of my friends they're like yeah once they start kind of waking up and recognizing then you're like teaching them things showing them things walking with them like you know playing with everything that you do with them they're just absorbing and taking in but right now you're in the stage of like keep this baby alive fed and growing and

I'm trying to do everything I can to make that happen. But paternity leave is ridiculous, is basically what I'm trying to say. Whatever fucking idiot invented that, paternity leave?

Like, for what? You know what I mean? Maternity leave is like, it should be criminal if you don't automatically... How long should it be? Because it's like six weeks in the US. For the rest of their lives. Once a woman gives birth, she should never have to go back to work. I do believe it's beneath them. I think I've said that before, but I think it's beneath a woman to go back. If it's her passion or whatever, do it. But like...

If it's just like a job working at like Target or something like that, it's beneath you once you- He's the husband, you just take two jobs. Or the government should supply it. Do we want a country or not? Socialists. I'm a feminist, a socialist, an anti-vaxxer. We need a larger managerial class. Sorry, Vivek, you don't know what's going on.

But it's beneath them like what they created a human being you're gonna go work the register now like yeah Yeah, they call it leave like oh you're gonna come back. Yeah, it should be it should be maternity start That's it. That's it. Six months in Europe for the woman. Yeah, I thought it was like a year, right? No, some go up even to you. That's great that but the paternity leave whatever man argued for that they then got it and they were like, oh

Bad idea. What about the podcast last week? What'd I say? You said, hey, I'm not going to do the podcast. That's my wife. Come on, bro. Are you kidding me? I would have gone out to get some diapers in a heartbeat. She saw you on an Instagram clip.

When did you record this? It was old. We banked it. It was scheduled. We banked it way long ago. No, no. I think paternity leave should be a week. You need a week so that they can mend up and everything is going to be okay. As long as the wife has help. If the wife has family, if you have a baby nurse, the wife needs help. You need something for the wife, 100%. But if I'm being home because I selfishly want to be around my kid. I just want to be near her every second of the fucking day. I want that. Selfish. Selfish.

If my wife was smart, she would say, hey, you're useless right now. Go make us as much money as you possibly can so that she's safe and we're safe during this time period. Let's have you say that sentence again so we can keep it, but just don't say if my wife was smart. Let me just save you a fucking fight. All right. If my wife wasn't a bona fide smartass.

No, no, no, no. How do I say this? The ideal setup. The ideal setup. If my wife was even more genius than she is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she's already obviously a genius. Of course. You know what I mean? No big deal.

NBA from NYU. She's a businesswoman. So if she wanted to treat this like a business, she would say, yo, during this time period where you're a servant, go out there and get after it so that when you really need to kick up the daddy duty, you can take some time off for that. And then I'd be like, nah, bro, that baby's too cute. I need to be around that baby. And she's like, that's selfish. And you go, I'm selfish. Right.

I asked her what I'm getting for Valentine's. I said, I said, Valentine's coming up. What am I getting for Valentine's slash your birthday? I said some shit I regretted the fuck out of that. She's on the C-section thing. I'm looking at this woman who's so fucking courageous and brave and it's amazing what she's doing.

I said, there's a thing called a push present where you get them a present for doing what they're supposed to. And... I guess we could... Do I get a go to work and provide present? I don't know. Do I get one of that? Here's a push present. Her name is Shiloh Jean Joe. Exactly. So...

- Push present. - Oh yeah, so push present. And so I'm on the, I'm like looking at this woman, I'm so like just enamored by this woman. And I looked at her and I go, let me tell you something. I go, that push present is about to be crazy.

That's about to be crazy. I go, whatever you want. That baby came out and I had to be like, yo, yo, yo. It was the Pitocin or something. I don't know what Fuzzy Boy was acting up. Like, we got to put that money in the college fund. We got to be a little bit more safe about this spending that we got going on. Did she bring it up? And you're like, no, no, you were on drugs. She brought it up to me yesterday. Yesterday she brought it up. Who said that? Me? She's doing group DMs with the fucking jewelry companies.

That shit was in the away box. You know what I mean? The box. The general. Yeah, I put that shit in general real fast. Oh, my God.

Anyway, okay. I'm sure we got other things to talk about, but thank you guys one more time. This is how I should have known he needed things to do is when he started texting about the Super Bowl, I was like, this motherfucker, he needs things to do. When he's watching the Super Bowl fixated on football, this guy's bored out of his mind. That game was incredible. The game was incredible. It was a good game. The best. One of the best games I've ever seen. It was funny to see you text me about it. I said, it's overtime. That baby need to wait. We got to risk it.

Oh, man. Incredible game. Everybody watched? Yeah. You see what I'm saying about Patrick Mahomes? I was happy for you. I'll be honest. I was a little happy for you. There was a little part of me that was joyous because you just became a Chiefs fan and you were going to lose in overtime. I was going to come here and I'd be like, that's what you fucking get. But!

But there was a part of me that was like... I don't even know. I don't even know if I'll ever actually leave the Cowboys as a fan because I'm so gay and I just keep reading news and stuff. But the Chiefs have beaten the Cowboys' biggest rivals in every Super Bowl. The Eagles and the Niners are the two biggest Cowboys. So I don't care. I would have loved Patrick Mahomes regardless to keep them from three Super Bowls. But he's the best...

He might not be the greatest ever because Brady played for 18 years or whatever and won so much. And I don't know. That's a long career. But nobody's ever been better at quarterback than Patrick Mahomes is right now in this moment in time. And I don't even know if it's debatable. It's insane. Wow. That fucking overtime when they got the field goal and San Francisco's defense had been just kind of dominating all game. And he's like, what do we need to win? We need a touchdown. All right, let's just go get it. Did you say better than Brady? Brady at his best was never this good. Wow.

Okay. Brady's longevity. Can you back that up? Brady was incredible, but I think the reason Brady is the greatest is the longevity. Like, Brady didn't win an MVP for his first, like, ten years in the league or some shit like that. The number's not right, but it took a long time to win his first MVP. Mahomes has already won three. Wow. In his first six years, I think. Yeah. He's been to the NFC Championship game every season he started. I'm sorry, AFC Championship game. Every season he started. You always spoke about this when it comes to tennis.

But like, it's crazy that we just finished the career of the greatest football player in history, which is Tom Brady. Yes. And immediately upon his retirement, there's already discussion about

about is Patrick Mahomes better than the greatest football player in history. I mean, the guy does... Poor Brady. There wasn't even a gap. With Jordan, there still isn't even... This generation might say LeBron, but they don't really know. And it's not really there. With Kobe, nobody even really... There was admiration for Kobe, but it was never a real debate. Brady's still the GOAT, again, because longevity's... But what you're saying is he's not better as a player. He's not better. Yeah.

And here's one thing I also give Brady credit for. It's crazy to say, but he's not crazy, but it's crazy to say. Here's another thing you got to give Brady credit for that we forget. He had an insane ACL tear or something in like 2009. He had to get like three or four surgeries. So to come back and then win more Super Bowls than you had before, insane. Insane. We just kind of forget about that.

So again, longevity, you got to say this is the greatest maybe athlete ever, but just being so good in a moment in time, Patrick Mahomes is flawless. He has zero flaws. So,

Brady was not athletic. Brady's at home eating the avocado ice cream right now. Mahomes got the dad body, whatever the fuck he wants to. Brady eating avocado ice cream, can't get a six-yard scramble. Pat Mahomes will get you 30 in overtime. I love that they put the ball in his hands. Fourth and one was so fucking incredible. They went out and got it. And the play was designed brilliantly in that Travis was there. If you really look at the play,

It's these are the guys we trust the most on this team. Yes. And Travis is there to block, but he's also there for a little dump, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I guess if... It's called a run-pass option. Right. So based on what the 49ers lineman Nick Bosa, who's fucking incredible... If Bosa goes for... If he comes down toward the running back, if he, like, hooks down like that, I think, then Mahomes runs. And if Kelsey's open, there's an option for a Kelsey pass for a first down. Or he just runs for it. Or he just runs for the first down. He decided to run. But it just...

All three options based on what this lineman does. Just a great... I mean, Andy Reid is amazing. But it's a cool play in that, like, the other team knows the ball is staying in his hands. Yes. Or it's going to Travis. Yeah. And they called the play and still executed it. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, you can plan, you can double-team or whatever, but, like, great players are just going to make great plays. Yeah. And...

Yeah, it was really awesome to see, man. And give it up for Purdy, too. Purdy played well, I thought. He played really well. He had some bad throws, I guess, but that Chiefs defense is fucking good, man. They made Lamar Jackson look like not himself. Josh Allen, I think, had a pretty good game, but not crazy. That kid is nice, bro.

I think he's underrated. Yeah, he's good enough at least. Why didn't they give to McCaffrey every play? That is a thing that everybody... Because the Chiefs' big flaw defensively is run defense. You can run on them. Buffalo was running all over them. They just kind of stopped running. San Francisco apparently had two drives in a row in the third quarter. They went three and out, which means they didn't get a single first down. All passes. Six straight passes. McCaffrey seems to get six yards every time he runs. Why don't you just feed him on these drives? And just...

Kyle Shanahan is the coach of the 49ers, like this offensive genius. But the big knock on him in every Super Bowl that he's lost is that he should have run in certain moments when he did not. I don't know if y'all remember, he was the offensive coordinator of Atlanta when they lost up 28-3. Like the second to last drive, they...

They're up eight, Atlanta is. Matt Ryan throws this crazy completion, an insane catch to Julio Jones. If they run three times, they should be able to kick a field goal with however much time is left. Oh, because they're going to keep the clock running. Keep the clock running. And you're at the 30-yard line, so this is a makeable field goal. Let's just run it three times, have a chip shot field goal. We go up 11. There's no way the Patriots win. They decide to pass. This is on the quarterback, too. The quarterback takes a sack. So now you're out of field goal range. You have to punt.

And instead of an 11-point game that's two possessions, it's an eight-point game. Tom Brady obviously gets the ball, scores a touchdown. He's got the same Mahomes thing where it's like he's going to get the touchdown and the two-point, and they lose the game. Against the Chiefs, they're up 10 in the fourth quarter.

There's a play where if they just run, the clock keeps going. You could probably get a first down. They try to pass Chris Jones, who's so underrated. The defensive tackle for the Chiefs. He knocks it down. They end up having a punt. Kansas City takes the lead on the next possession. Then this time, every time, just fucking run the clock out or pick up yards on the ground, and there's just always a little pass happy. You know what's crazy is to see someone who is so much better than everybody else that

At that point in a game, we're talking about overtime, potentially the last drive, still does whatever he wants. It's unbelievable. You can't be just a little better than everybody else to do whatever you want. Think about it like tennis, paddle, basketball, whatever. If you're a little better than the team that you're playing against, you don't do whatever you want. You might get some buckets, but you don't do whatever you want. Still scrapping a little. You have to be...

So much better. Jordan was so much better than the competition that on any given night, he puts up 40 if he wants it. Boys and men. And I think that's the Patrick Mahomes situation. Yeah, Doug. I was thinking about this. He was playing really poorly. Didn't even look nervous when he walked out there. Oh, not at all. Everybody, and I'm a pessimistic guy. Everybody else, so I didn't know if they would score a touchdown, but everybody else that I'm listening to, and I don't think this is hindsight. I think this is real. If you're not rooting for Patrick Mahomes, you're like, oh, he's going to beat us.

It's over. We fucked up. Not scoring that touchdown. It's over. And there was a fire thing like the overtime rules, I guess, were a little bit different where now even if you score a touchdown on the first drive, the other team can match. And San Francisco's head coach didn't tell any of the players. He was like, let's receive because if we score and then they match us, we get the ball back. Yeah.

And then the Chiefs players were like, we met twice a week, every week in the playoffs, talking about this exact scenario. And we said, we want the ball second. We were shocked they took it first because we figured if they score a touchdown, and this is having Patrick Mahomes, then we'll just go down and score a touchdown, and we'll go for two and win the game. Now, here's the thing. Now, I love that, but there is something –

I have to say about that. How much accountability do we have to give the players to learn the rules of the game? Like, bare minimum, if you're a player, you should know the rules of the game. I love the fact that KC is so organized that they're going to basically, like, work out every scenario and make sure the players know, but, like...

Bro, you're an NFL football player and you don't know the rules of overtime? Get a YouTube link in the group chat or something. What do you mean they don't know the rules? They have just changed the rules this playoffs. I didn't know. I had no idea. But you don't get paid to play football. It also only applies in the playoffs. Regular season is the same rules. Ah.

This is the first year that the playoffs were this way. Also, I like the rule change. I think it makes more sense. And it wouldn't have impacted this Super Bowl because the old rules, like the five-year-old rule is if you kick a field goal first, the other team has a chance to match. And if you score a touchdown, it's over. It technically isn't different

But it was different this year. I think what happened is that it takes away the time component. So let's say you're on a long drive on the way down and you eat up nine minutes o'clock. Yeah. The other team, yeah, they have a chance to score, but they would only have three minutes left for however long the overtime period was left in order for them to score. And also, if they score a touchdown, I don't get the ball at all.

at all. It's just over. It saves that golden goal scenario where it's just first one to get it actually scores. Yeah. Guys, while we're talking about the Super Bowl, you should know you can keep playing prize picks even though football season has ended and that's what we talk about the most. Basketball season, super fun. March Madness, super fun. And if you use the promo code SHULTS,

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I hope she would. You didn't think? I don't think so. Everything is so calculated that she would know? I'm assuming. Maybe in the back of your head, you're like, oh, is it going to be a double blind, whatever? The second Travis Kelsey grabbed that mic, and he's good on the mic. I ain't going front. He got me hyped. But the second he grabbed it, I was like, we're not getting a proposal tonight. He was singing fucking Beastie Boys.

I was like, Taylor is not getting a ring today, baby. This is about Travis. She was chilling on the side. As it should have been. It's his day. If he would have proposed, it would have been all about Taylor. And it was already about Taylor too much. Yo, you know, this poor girl can't win, bro. I think we've talked about this maybe before. But literally, she has four sold out shows in Tokyo.

Hops on a jet to be at her boyfriend's not even her husband. Yeah her boyfriend. Mm-hmm her boyfriend Yeah, her boyfriend's game or whatever Super Bowl obviously big game. She comes to every single one of the fucking games She has to organize how many people's lives have to move so she can go to this game all the security guards all of her traveling people maybe some of her like management be she probably still has to do work in between she's probably traveling

10, 15 people. Think how exhausted you are too. Four sold out shows. Everybody talks about how much she puts into her show. From fucking Japan. I gotta go to Vegas. And they hating on her because the NFL is using her. Not even she's using it. The NFL. Hate on the NFL. Say fuck the NFL. But she can ask the NFL. Don't cut to me that much.

Can she? Yes. And you think they would honor it? They would listen to her. I don't think so. I heard there's a rumor that she got Kanye kicked out of the Super Bowl. Did he get kicked out? I mean, there's a rumor. There's a rumor. I don't know. That he bought the seats right in front of Taylor. And Taylor was like, NFL, if he's there. I have a history of hating on Taylor. We all know this.

This is crazy the way she's getting hated on for this. Like, son, she's watching her boyfriend. And then early on, people were like, why is she- Nobody gets more hate, bro. Nobody gets more hate that's probably a good person. Like, there are people that get hate. I could agree with that. But yeah, like, nobody gets more hate that's probably a good human being. I don't even know about probably a good human. But she definitely likes the attention. Yo, she's a star. They're all into, they're like addicted to the attention. They need it. But-

In order to be that much of a superstar, you probably have to be into... Okay, so she gets it, but the reality is she's showing up for her man. All these people online complain, your girlfriend don't even go to your fucking rec league games. They never once supported you, so what the fuck are you crying about her for? The fact that she's at every single fucking game... Do you think she's flying to this game for NFL cameras to be on her as if she doesn't have enough attention? What do you think is her purpose? I'm not saying it's at you. I'm saying it's at these people. Sorry, yeah, that was at you, but you're defending them, so I'm just saying...

Do you guys think Taylor Swift is flying from Japan to the Super Bowl because she's like, I need more attention. She just sold four stadium shows in Japan. Tabloids talk about her all the time. She's not like, hey, let me fly 20 hours overnight after four sold out shows so I can get

That's a great point. The argument that she's doing it for attention. She's the most famous musician on the planet. One of the most famous human beings on planet Earth. She doesn't need more attention. She needs less attention. She sold out of Legion twice. No, no. She sold out of Legion. Oh, sorry, sorry. Legion is Vegas. In LA, it was four or five. Travis did it, and this is a Derek Poston line when it comes to this, but whenever we do an arena, Derek always goes, yo, you know what's crazy?

It took two basketball teams to sell this out. Yeah, that's fire. And so she sold out Allegiant. It took two football teams, right? And the fucking Super Bowl to sell that shit. And I don't even think the Chargers sell out Allegiant. And if they do it, it's eight times. She did it five on her own.

Do you think she's like, hey, let's fly cross-continent so I can get less than 60 seconds of airtime on the Super Bowl? If she wanted to do the halftime show, do you think they're going to be like, well, no, we got to line up for a few years set. Next year, she could say today, I want to do the halftime show. If she really wants attention...

I want to do the halftime show and the NFL would be fucking giddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she should wait a couple years because you don't want to follow Usher. Usher, put that shit down. Usher, put that shit down. I don't think anybody wants to follow Usher, bro. Yo, yesterday, I believed in racism yesterday. Finally. It took me watching Usher, going on Twitter. Feminist. What a liberal fuck you're about. Have a kid. Have a kid. It's going to change your life. It's amazing. I go on Twitter. I go Usher. I go Usher, period. Unbelievable, period. Yeah.

or something like that. Immediate reactions are like, you thought that was good? That shit sucked. That was one of the worst. I'm like, oh, there. I thought I was crazy. Racism exists. Yeah. Racism exists. The only way that you could not think that was great is if you're smart enough

No, no, no. I don't know if it's not racism, but the fact that there are people so ready to fucking hate. Yeah, dude. You decided to hate that before Usher went up there. They would have been like, yo, Morgan Whalen would have destroyed that shit. And again, I don't know if it's racism, but there is something else. There's another cultural phenomenon happening here that they decided they were going to hate on that performance before he even did it.

I don't know what it is, but I understand why I feel such a pressure to be a perfectionist because we watched it and I was sitting there watching it and Usher's just killing it with the fucking roller skates, having an amazing time. He ends, I'm standing up in the living room like, yo, this guy's the fucking best. Look at the family group chat. My uncle just goes, horrible.

So it is racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it is. People don't like black people. It turns out people don't like black people. I mean, it is crazy. I bet they liked them when they were playing really good for the fucking Chiefs. Reba McIntyre was amazing. That's the thing. I was like...

Son, racism is real, huh? You telling me racism is real? After all this time? Reverse racism is real, too. Talk to me. Talk to me. Hold on. Talk to me. Talk about it. Talk about it. These black girls hating on Taylor, bro. They hate on Taylor, bro. Actually, it's racism. It's racism. Did we just find out? Did Taylor just convince us racism exists? Yeah, bro. Did Hustard just convince us?

It's as racist as it makes sense. This is what MLK wanted, bro. Black history month. Let's go. The Super Bowl really brought us together. They divided us at the same time. What a great sporting event. None of y'all soccer shit could do that. What Usher did was fucking believable. Can I just say one thing about the other? The first thing I noticed. This is the first thing I picked up with Usher. He, some people, and you are rightfully so, are nervous to perform on that stage. That is probably the biggest stage you can perform on in the world. Yeah. Right?

When he was on that stage, the first time you saw him, and I'm wondering if you guys felt this too, I've never seen somebody that looks so confident, and not fake confident, so confident to the point where he's like, you guys are going to pour into me. I'm not going to pour you. He even got to be approached to Mike. He even kind of had a little smirk. Not a fake, cocky, arrogant singer smirk.

An actual, I've done this a million times. I am the greatest at doing this and you are all about to witness an absolutely amazing performance.

He did that knowing he had to sing and dance. No fucking track. And he sang. He sang and danced. Crazy. Am I making this up or did you guys also get that feeling too? I felt like he was like, you guys think this is big for me. It's not. Yeah, it felt like an open mic. It felt like the energy when you see a Chris Rock at the cellar or something like that where it's just like, hey, we're going to have some fun. This is going to be fun for us. Does he do the roller skates at the Vegas show? Yeah. Yeah.

He must, right? There's part of me that thinks that they knew he was going to get the Super Bowl early, and they were like, let's do the Vegas run so that your cardio is good. You know the songs. The most amazing probably year or two years. I love seeing the resurgence. We're his resurgence. This is crazy. I forget often how much Usher dominated our childhood. My Way was a bonkers album, hit after hit, then A701, then Confessions was even crazier. This guy dominated our entire childhood.

And to see him have this resurgence, I'm glad everybody's remembering and new people are finding out. My wife was confused. She was like, why did they get Usher? Do people like him? She literally said that. And I was like, oh, this is a generational thing. It was the drugs. What about that push present? I'm going to get you Usher tickets. You can see greatness. No, no, don't do that.

Like that level of confidence where he's just going up to everybody's woman and just like, I could take it. I could take it. You're like, that is a level of confidence where...

That shit is great. She saw, my wife saw the performance afterwards and she was like, that was the greatest halftime performance I've ever seen. It built. And she went in there going, who is this guy? Why is Usher doing, do people like his music like that? Like literally. Yeah. She starts singing some of the songs and at the end she goes, that was the greatest halftime show I've ever seen. Yeah. And I, I, I,

It built. It just got better and better and better, which is crazy. Like the one knock. And there are people that hate it on it. I wish she sang more of the songs. I wish she sang longer. That's the one knock. And I thought she did great, truly. But Rihanna's halftime performance, I was like, yo, this feels kind of long. Usher, I was like, did they give him the proper time? They didn't feel long enough. But he got extra time. He's got a lot of good songs. But it moves so fast, you're like, what the fuck, dude? People are going to hate, bro. That's the reality. It's incredible.

Singing live the whole time. No fucking tracks. Unbelievable, man. Incredible. You know how I knew he was singing live pretty quickly, actually? His first few, like, dance moves, right? Yeah. I thought usually when they start the Super Bowl show, like, especially if there's someone who can dance, the beginning dance number is like, I'm going to prove to you guys I got it. Mm-hmm.

I'm going to run out of energy. But in the beginning, it's going to go crazy. In the beginning, he was doing stuff, but it was kind of like. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. It was a little subtle. And I was like, oh, this motherfucker's singing. Oh, he can't get out of breath because he got to sing 10 more songs. Yeah. The balls to have that confidence in your voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

His confidence. This is a random story. Because he's the real, sorry to interrupt you, he's the real deal, bro. Like, he can sing. He can dance. It's not manufactured to make it look that way. When he's on the biggest stage in the world, he knows that he could do it because he is that dude. And he reminded us. I think he was like, I'm going to remind you. And some people ain't. They don't got like that. And their whole career is kind of manufactured. Then they go on the Super Bowl and we got to actually see them fill that spotlight and fill that space and...

They can't really do that shit. Every element. The way he introduced Lil Jon in the fucking, just like crowd surfing or whatever. Turn down for what? Crazy. And that's not even enough. He just thought through every element of who he brings out, what they do.

Unbelievable. No, it's fine. He did jack us a little bit, bro. Talk to me. You remember we did the fashion on the roller skates and I went through your legs? They be dick riding, bro. I swear these motherfuckers be dick riding, bro. You're welcome, Masha. You're welcome, all right? Son. We gave him that move. That made us sick. We really are the Tesseract, bro. We are the source. We are the source. You got to find his regimen, though. 45 years old, still with a six pack and the V-lines. That's Natty or like...

Is that what it is? That is natty. We gotta look into that. It's unbelievable. Yo, fuck black people. I get it, bro. How could you not? I get it. That must be 45 skin, flawless teeth, amazing body, great... His voice hasn't changed. Not at all. And we've known... He's had that voice since he's 15. What the fuck? He's been performing for, what, 30 years now.

of live performing. Just still hasn't lost an ounce. It's insane. Mahomes already got y'all taking away y'all white hype. He's like, we winning. We taking everything. Come on now. Mahomes white too though. Nah, he's white. He's more white than black. Until he won, y'all called him black. Somebody. I don't see it's a fact.

Look, we used to be racist, but he's still white. He's still white. Van had a tweet. All of a sudden, Drake Jewish, Obama's white. We did that with Italians. We're even white for years. Hundreds of years. Hispanic, Hispanic, white. Hey, one day, bro. One day, we got you, bro. You keep working, bro. You'll get there. Somebody said something about Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes, over my...

What did he say? Somebody said Patrick Mahomes wasn't black, he's half white or something like that. And then Van goes, actual question, is your dad blacker than Patrick Mahomes' dad? And I thought that was so funny. What a perfect way to put it. What a great response, dude. No, Patrick Mahomes' dad is black. Yeah.

Yeah, he's smoking the cigar and the fucking logo. Yeah, there's a story. It's random, but the story we laughed at for years with Usher back in the day. Do you remember Confessions again? He's having this crazy run. He's doing the VMAs. Diddy's doing something, presenting some award. Diddy. We all know how afraid of everyone Diddy is now. Diddy's got some voter die shirt on. It's like 2004 or whatever. Usher gets up to the podium and he goes, yeah, that's right, y'all. Vote or die. Vote or die. And then Diddy's kind of hanging around. And then Usher puts his hand on his shoulder, doesn't even look at him. He's like, he goes, that's it.

I swear he goes, that's it. Votadai, y'all. That's real talk. Votadai. That's it. This guy's swag has been on a trillion for decades. It's insane. To Diddy. They're afraid everyone is a Diddy. And he gives them, that's it. Also because he could possibly expose him. Oh,

There was a couple sleepovers early on in his career. That was a little weird. Yeah, maybe this is what he meant. That's it. Never again! Fighting over cornflakes and shit. No, what was it? It was Diddy. What's Diddy's thing with food? Go to Brooklyn and get me a cheesecake. It was Diddy, Usher, and I think Kevin Hart. Diddy's just talking about, oh, yeah, you know, I had Usher in my crib early. You know, there was times we would be in the bed wrestling, fighting over cornflakes.

Kevin Hart's like, what the fuck did you just say? And he wouldn't let it die. So Diddy comes over to him and puts him in a headlock. And you could tell he really put some pressure on it. Yo, shut the fuck up. What is this? This is old, old, old, old. This is like Kevin Hart. Diddy done, huh? Diddy out of here. It's over for Diddy. That shit is hilarious. You see him apply a little pressure. Shut the fuck up.

I mean, I believe it. Fresh off a goddamn plane. Fresh off the guard stage. That's my brother right here from day one. We used to wake up and, I mean, damn, pause, but like, just like...

I mean, back in the days when he was like 10 and I was a little bit older, his older brother, we used to fight over the frosted flakes, you know what I'm saying? Before pause was invented. You know what I'm saying? But it's my brother for real. We used to actually wrestle all for the frosted flakes because he used to always get up early with me. Now he's one of the richest guys in the world. Yo, what the fuck did that just say?

Damn, I wish he showed the end of it. You see how did he just like, yo, don't be making fun of me. Oh, man. Oh, God, what a legend Kevin is, dude. That's fire. Oh, that's great. That's fire. You see Biden lean into the Super Bowl conspiracy shit? Yeah, I saw that. What'd you think? He don't know what he's doing. That's just the Twitter account. But I like that they've done that. It seems like every candidate is genuinely concerned about Taylor's endorsement.

Yeah, I think she can swim. They are genuinely concerned. That's how much power she has as an individual. Oh, because Trump was begging for it. Trump's beefing with her now. No, no, they're beefing. I thought he came out begging. That's a bad move. He's begging, but like, he's taking a shot tank. Taking a shot tank.

No, he didn't even, that's not a Trump shot. That's a Trump compliment. So he goes, you got the quote? He basically was like, he said something about Taylor or whatever, and then he goes, and I really like her boyfriend, Travis, even though he probably hates me because he's a liberal. But he's saying, I really like you. He's begging for that vote. He's begging for that endorsement. There's no way she endorses either one.

Well, in the past, she has kind of leaned left. Yeah, she endorsed Biden in 2020, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Swifty. And like, I think they're genuinely concerned about it. I was reading some shit kind of like the it seems like conservative pundits are trying to like smear Taylor.

and basically be like, look, the NFL is rigged. This whole thing is a setup. That's what that is. That was a part of the conspiracy. Like, look, this is what a lot of people were saying. Again, I don't know if it's true or if this is like left disinformation. I don't know what the fuck's going on. But apparently it was like, yeah, we don't want them to win because Taylor's going to get on the mic or she's going to tweet after the Super Bowl with Travis. She's going to endorse Biden publicly. And that's what the whole NFL wants. That's what the liberal establishment wants.

So they're trying to make her radioactive? And try to like smear her and try to like intimidate her and get her to shut up because they don't want her to be endorsing Biden. Don't go against Taylor. Don't go against Taylor. But that does make sense because I'm seeing all these right wing Twitter accounts hate Taylor now. And I'm like, shouldn't that be Yas Queen? Like, can you imagine a bunch of like black whatever going at Beyonce? Yeah. Which has never happened.

And Taylor is, she's white Beyonce. So it's like seeing y'all go at her don't make no sense to me, but it makes sense. I think Beyonce is black Taylor, but yeah, we don't have to. We don't have to split hairs. Black history month. We don't have to split. Maybe next year. Split good hairs about this. Yeah, definitely.

But yeah, I think that makes sense why they would suddenly start hating on it because it made no sense. Yeah. They better chill out. I think they're all trying to get the endorsement, which is crazy. She's in a position where she is influencing global politics. I saw a thing that said like 10% of people said their vote would be swayed by Taylor. She got 35,000 people to register last fall to become a voter with one Instagram story, I think. Oh, shit.

Yeah. I mean, a real post might do 10 times. And if you're talking about an election as close to the last one, it's like... 35K. That's a lot of people. Yeah, dude. Yeah. All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick because some of you have a bad habit that we cannot name because of YouTube rules and restrictions. And I don't want to get this episode pulled, but you have a bad habit that you need to break. It can give you lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease, God knows what else. But...

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I tried. Let me tell you a 30-second history lesson eight minutes later. Are we still doing this? 45 minutes. Dave, did you guys watch the whole thing? I watched the whole thing. Listen, he's a...

obviously a shrewd operator and like a masterful at controlling an interview. Yeah. And there's really no way to kind of shake him. I thought that, I thought Tucker asked him some good questions. And I thought he did a good job trying to steer it. And he really did. How is this relevant? And he was like, you're going to see, you're going to see, give me 30 minutes. Exactly. Anyway, Genghis Khan. But also, but also he would like,

Putin would take shots, too. It wasn't like he was ignoring. He would kind of clip him a couple times. Yeah, he sent some brushback pitches. 100%. Yeah, who did the coup d'etat? Like the CIA. Isn't that the three-letter agency you tried to work for? He goes, it's a good thing they didn't accept you. I was like, dang it.

Wow. In a different language. He was prepped. A translator had to tell him, yo, you just got roasted. Yeah. He said it, stared at his face, and then it came in in zip-zappy language. That's bold. He was also telling jokes, too, which I thought was kind of funny. Son, there was a couple moments. Now, here's the thing, though. Underneath it all, there was some desperation.

I felt that's what I picked up. Yeah. Why would you do this? Yes. He's he's bragging about like, oh, we have hypersonic technology better than everybody else. And oh, we have the number one economy in Europe and all that. If everything's going so great in your country and geopolitically for you and the relationships that you've built are just flourishing, you don't.

Do an interview with a incredibly popular American journalist that you know is going to be put on over here. You're doing this, I presume, because you're trying to influence the American public to put Trump back in the election because you think Trump-

will stop the war. And I mean, Uyeda said something interesting. He goes, listen, the war between Russia and Ukraine is in triple overtime and Russia is supposed to be a superpower and Ukraine is basically just getting weapons from us. Yeah, this shouldn't, this should have been mercy ruled. Exactly. So it's like, why is this in triple overtime? Yeah. So I think Putin, if you notice, like he said, he hasn't spoken to Biden in a couple of years. It could be that the Americans are just not communicating. He's like, yes, our organizations talk to one another. Okay, maybe they do, maybe they don't.

But it seemed to me as more of a desperate move. You wanna influence the election,

You hope that Trump wins, but if he doesn't, you want to leave that conversation open to potentially ending this conflict. Because he kept saying, we had an agreement. We wanted to stop. We want peace. We're being reasonable people. We want peace. And then he brought up a couple things that I thought were kind of goofy that he undermined his whole argument with. Like what? Using the, I mean, Canada's just a bunch of fucking retards for bringing the Ukrainian Nazi in there. But he used it as if it was done on purpose because the guy was a Nazi. Right.

Right. Yeah. Like like as if he was brought there for his Nazi behavior. I think what is a miscalculation by a bunch of dumb idiots in office in Canada. Yeah. Where they should have looked at the most basic thing, which is like what side was fighting against Russia during World War Two. Yeah. Clearly Germany. Right. Right.

absolute retards. And the guy is getting up there. The fucking Ukrainian Nazi guy was up there going, thank you, finally, you see what we... I've been waiting for this moment. We got George Santos. We have our line. So it's like, I don't know, but to me, it just had this like...

There is a wise philosopher once said, if you're explaining, you're losing. Tom Brady. For real. And he did a lot of explaining. Number two of all time. So he goes, this is why Ukraine should actually be. These are Russian people and there's a Russian soul. All this explaining. He's going through the history and all that stuff. It's like, listen, the history of America is that we were part of England. Does that mean that? That's his argument. It's like, these are ethnically the same people. Yeah, who gives a fuck if you're ethnic?

We go out to the Balkans, outside of the Albanians, they're ethnically all the same people. Does that mean that they should all be the same country? No, they've been fighting to be separate countries for the last few hundred years. Can Mexico annex Southern Texas or some shit because Mexicans live there? Yeah, he's very educated and when people are speaking about things that we don't know, we have a tendency to believe them because we can't exactly refute them. I can't refute Russian history. I don't really know enough about it. Just frankly, I don't. But

it did seem that he really desired something. And if things are going so well, your desires from foreign nations are not as high as they are if you're doing a Tucker Carlson interview. No, he's stepping into an information war. He's attempting to control his narrative and the narrative of his country to try to sway public opinion, specifically in America. And he historically hasn't really done that in the West because he didn't really need to. I mean, obviously, if you don't include...

you know, like political interference through like ads and shit through like the elections and stuff. But like to have a public information war is like very out of character. So I agree with you. I think it is kind of... Yeah, it's Greek symptoms. Symptomatic of like, yeah, we kind of just need to...

We need to get some support a little bit. And he's like a strong enough leader that I think he knows, like, oh, we can kind of pull some people. And Americans are falling for it. Yeah. Like, I've seen a lot of people go like, oh, this is what a strong leader looks like. And they're trying to justify his positions. And he is strong.

elegance in his approach to things. There's a strength, but also an elegance. I'm not going to be one of these guys who goes, oh, look at this fucking idiot. He's not a baboon at all. This guy's managed to maintain control of a country of over 150 million people for decades. That's fucking hard. With staggering support amongst the population, people love him there. It's not like he's this hated leader.

There are detractors for sure, but I think the majority of the population is very happy with Putin from things that I've read. Yeah, legitimately happy or? Again, we don't know. Again, we don't know. But from what I understand. But yeah, it just feels like he's praying that Trump gets in there because he wants an end to this. Now, here's the thing that's interesting. When they say we're giving aid to Ukraine, I didn't realize what it really meant. We're not giving them any money.

Did you guys know that? We're giving them weapons, right? We're giving us money. What do you mean? So Congress agrees on the aid package.

Let's call it $5 billion or $10 billion. That $10 billion is not deployed to Ukraine. It's deployed to Raytheon. It's deployed to Boston Dynamics or whatever. It's deployed to Boeing. It's deployed to what we would commonly call the military industrial complex in America. So the money isn't going there. It's going to American companies that hire Americans, that are employing Americans, like

It continues to filter in our economy, not their economy. And one thing we always wrote is war is good for the American economy. So I wonder if there's an argument to be made, and maybe they would never, as Vivek would put it, the managerial class would never come out and say it, but I wonder if they would say like-

hey, the Manjaro class, I wonder if their conversations are basically going, well, these Americans shut the fuck up. This is why we're coming out of COVID better than anybody else. We basically manufactured a war to keep the economy pumping because when these weapons companies are building stuff, they still need steel from wherever the steel plants that we're buying from. We need things shipped. We need screws. We need paper. We need- - We need employees to build it all. - Yeah, we need secretaries to push the paper. We need everything.

These are massive companies. Now, I'm not saying that we should go to war for this reason, but I think that the way that it's being positioned by a lot of people is very central. It's a drain on our economy. Yeah, here's the money in America. Instead of helping out Americans, we just give it to the Ukrainians, and now they buy soup with it. It's like an organic stimulus check. And then, so the criticism would be like, well, it's just helping these wealthy companies out.

Those wealthy companies have people, they buy pools, right? They buy houses. They rent apartments. But then you're just arguing the economic policy of like trickle down or whatever. Which is fine. You can argue that if you want to. You might be right. But it isn't money that's hemorrhaging from the U.S. economy and going to the U.S. Are you sure we're not just giving them direct money as well? I thought it's both. I imagine that like there's a certain amount of it that needs to go there to utilize these weapons. Mm-hmm.

Maybe there's getting the weapons over there is another thing. But still, we're probably not hiring Ukrainian companies to bring the weapons over there. Right. Or even food support and rations and shit for troops, all that stuff. Okay, so maybe there's some food and that kind of stuff, but where is the food made? Exactly. No, to your point, it might not only be weapons. It's like a stimulus, like you were saying, I think for the American economy. I'm not saying we should do it, and I'm not saying we should be involved in these foreign wars. I would prefer that...

Listen, I would love there to be some sort of agreement that stopped it completely. That being said, the way that it's being positioned by people who are opposed to it is as if the money is just leaving America and going there. And it is being funneled through American companies. It still could look like, what is it called, like a money something scheme, right?

- A Ponzi scheme? - Pyramid scheme? - Yeah, I don't know if it's a Ponzi scheme or a pyramid scheme, but it's one of those situations where it's basically like they're laundering money. They're using Ukraine to launder money to themselves.

But that would be the case if real weapons weren't going there. But real weapons are going there. And it takes real humans to make those real weapons. And it takes real materials to make the real weapons, right? I guess I might be pro-war Ukraine. I don't know. Again, I don't know. This is one of those things where we should talk to like a Vivek. You talk to like a Robert Kennedy Jr. So what do we got here?

So you got 4% is going to be, I mean, out of 75 billion, 4% is like humanitarian, emergency food, refugee support, et cetera. Financial, this is, you know, economic support funds, loans, and then security. So that is a big, let's go, can we go up? That is a big percentage. 35% is economic support, but it's economic support funds, loans, and other financial support. If it's a loan, you're going to owe me that money with interest. Well, here's the thing about that, which is very interesting. I saw this clip. I think it was RFK talking about it, but he'd be really good to talk about this thing. So,

In order to support Ukraine in this war, what I think Ukraine had to do is relinquish their rights to their natural resources. One of those resources being all these grain fields. I think they call Ukraine like the breadbasket of Europe. I think they provide more grain to the world than any other country and are the greatest grain producer in all of Europe. So they provide food, and that's a really valuable fucking thing. If you have...

8 billion people on the planet, there's a lot of mouths to feed. You need places that can grow a lot of food and Ukraine is one of them. So they would have to relinquish, I think they've already relinquished 30% of the rights to that. And I think they would have to relinquish all of it because we're gonna have to go reap by we, I think BlackRock has to go rebuild. I think they were given the right to rebuild Ukraine once the war is over, right?

Now, I like giving the right. It wasn't a responsibility. It's the opportunity. Yeah, yeah. Right? And how are they going to pay for that? They're going to pay for that by giving up the rights to their grain, giving up the rights to their skin. If they can't pay for it, which we know they can't pay for it, because how would they fucking pay for it? So that's the other thing. It's like in the most evil way of looking at this, do we push them into a war? We know that they cannot win without our support.

hinder them with tons of debt and then the only way that they can get out of this debt is

is to relinquish the only natural resources that they have that would present them with any economic viability in the future. And now we own, by we, BlackRock or whatever it is, owns the breadbasket of Europe. And controls food supply. The alternative is you give up those lands to Russia before. Exactly. So basically Ukraine is like, okay, do we give it up to America or do we give it up to Russia? I mean... And do we maintain sovereignty and...

And then hope this gets forgiven at some point and we can get the rights back.

Yeah, no, I'm not saying that they necessarily made the worst decision, but it is, I think Americans are kind of uninformed. Myself, I know 2% of what's really going on over here. But even with what I learned recently, okay, so the money isn't really going over there. There are people potentially benefiting from here. Maybe too many wealthy companies are benefiting than average Americans. But those companies need to be serviced by average Americans. So maybe it's beneficial to us, who knows? That's the trickle down thing you're saying. And then also long term, like,

Is America getting all them resources? I mean, it seems like BlackRock is getting a lot of them, which is, you know, not the best, but it's not draining from America. There's a lot of politicians making money on it, too. I'm sure. BlackRock won the right somehow. Politicians that are, like, buying stock in, like, Lockheed or, you know, Raytheon or whatever. Yeah, I mean, this is— Like, days before then the contracts go through. Speak on this. This is actually great. I mean, there's just, like, a bunch of, like, known politicians, like, and congressmen that are basically just, like—

As like days before it's announced that these things are going through where like they're getting these billion dollar contracts through these military industrial companies, they're buying huge amounts of their stock portfolio into these things. So there's like, and this is basically, I'm working on a piece for this. We'll put it out one of these days, but like how politicians get rich and like one of the

one of the ways that they get rich is that they essentially do insider trading. You know, they're privy to, they're on these different committees. So they're privy to information about like government deals that are going to go through. And oftentimes those government deals are using private entities, right? So if you know that a massive deal is going to go through, if the government is going to commit to deploy a hundred million dollars towards Microsoft or something like that, well, you can buy Microsoft the day before.

And now you get all those gains. And that's how a Nancy Pelosi, thanks, can like, you know, or a husband can beat the stock market. So a lot of them know that we're going to be putting these big aid packages together and they're going to put some money in that defense sector for sure. And it doesn't just happen like that. It happens with if you're going to put fucking...

speeding cameras on every single light post in America, there might be one company that the federal government gives the right to do it. Well, guess who's heavily invested in that company? The senator that is the one pushing that bill through. And

The tricky thing about it is like, it's so blatantly obvious how these politicians make money and it's kind of fucked up because when we do it as like Samaritans, we go to jail for it. You know, Martha Stewart is in jail for less than Nancy Pelosi has done, 100% guaranteed. So it is fucked up in that regard. But here's the thing, like, and this is going to sound unethical as hell, don't get me wrong. And I think that we're in the worst case scenario, but like, if we don't let politicians make

leverage their power to make money, will we ever get the smartest people to be in those positions of power? Now, we're in the worst case scenario where we have idiots that are making the money. You want the brilliant people to be in those positions of power. And the way you incentivize most people is by money. It's like our smart people now are fucking working at hedge funds instead of making...

I don't know, rockets or they're definitely not making like policy. Yeah, but they have the ability now to make money and we still don't have the smartest people. So we might as well take away that advantage. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Or somehow compensate them more to where they're making decisions based off of what's in the best interest of the people and their constituency and not for themselves. If you have the ability to make money, you're going to do it. And so now it's like, oh, I'm going to, instead of doing what's best for the people, I'm going to try to push this thing that's going to help me the most. Yeah. And so.

Yeah, it's like, dude, it's so, all this stuff is like, I feel like especially when it's around election time,

The truth to all these issues is way more boring than the headlines will make it seem. I was even looking up this immigration thing because never in my life has immigration been an issue in New York, like illegal immigration. Have you seen a lot of this popping up in headlines? Yeah, the migrant workers beat up the cop or whatever. Yeah, but this was... In your life, do you remember this ever being... There was one time, I forgot what started, but I remember when MS...

13, yeah, in Long Island. Yeah, you're right. That was becoming an issue. And then there were motherfuckers just knocking down doors and what's the... Ice. Ice, sorry. And they're just going... Ice. Ice, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. I was hearing stories where they would just go to people's houses, knock, take everybody out, ship them back. And that was more of like a gang thing that was...

indicative of, I guess, immigrants coming from a place. But it was started as like a gang problem. And now it's like there's an immigration issue where they're like overwhelming our systems for people in New York. And I'm like, what is going on? Why are there so many...

The southern states that usually had to deal with the majority of that, they're like, fuck this. I'm going to put them on a plane. I'm going to put them on a bus. And I'm just sending them to- I looked that up. They did send some, but it's not to the point, which is an issue for sure, but it's not to the point where it would overwhelm our system in the way it has been overwhelmed. And I looked into it. And this is why America's really interesting country. I didn't realize this. We are like an asylum seeking country, meaning like if you're going through some sort of

issue in your country or any sort of issue that's putting your life on the line, you can seek asylum in America and we'll take you in. We have an open door policy. Sanctuary laws and stuff like that where it's like we have to provide you. You don't even sneak in. There are people sneaking into America. Idiots. Walk in and say, hey, I'm seeking asylum and then they'll look into your case and that could take up to a year or two years. And then in the meantime, you can't legally work. It takes about six months to get a visa. But they basically be like, all right, well, when we get up to your case, you'll be good. So you can kind of kick it. So

So then never go back and see your case. You either live illegally by sneaking in or live illegally by coming in. By asylum. Yeah. It's like, to me, it's just a no-brainer. Anyway. Yeah. Sorry. New York. But they have this, the reason why they have to sneak in is because it's hard to get on a flight if you don't have the correct paperwork. Oh, I'm saying walk across the border. This is happening a lot. But that's sneaking. No, no. You can go to border ports. In TJ. Yeah. You just walk straight across. There's plenty of them. And a lot of people do it in this way. And.

And again, I didn't know that either because everybody, every Mexican dude that I worked with had told me their story of crossing the border when I work in restaurants. It's like these amazing, amazing, like that should be the podcast, but they don't speak English. But their stories are unbelievable. I met a dude who crossed. Nobody was there to pick him up. Walked back.

Because he's like, I don't speak. I don't know anybody here. I don't have a cell phone. I can't. I was supposed to meet a family member. I don't know where I am. The only thing I do know is that Mexico is right there. Yeah. And that's the only place I feel safe. Like, think about it. I talked to a guy on my pod that was working with a cartel to, like, smuggle people through the border of checkpoints. But he was going to the checkpoint. So, like, so the actual place, like, he lived in TJ, but went to school in America. So every morning at six in the morning, he would cross the border, go to school and then go back. Wow.

That was his life. That's nuts. It's insane. And then he started getting in with a cartel and like sneaking people through the checkpoints with the border patrol. They would look at like fake documents and be like, all right, go. It's crazy. I mean, it's just these incredible stories. My boy did it, uh,

He did it just with a family. His family gave him to another family, and he's a Nicaraguan kid, Edmundo, and he has blue eyes or green eyes, so they just gave him to a white family, and the white family just brought him across, and they just had to hope he didn't cry. Like, this is fucking insane shit, right? Like, every one of these stories... I smuggled my mom over the border, bro. Exactly, you're not worried about it. We got border pressure. Anyway, New York, the only big city in the country...

that has a right to shelter policy. Yeah. This is very important. This policy was developed for our homeless. This is a liberal city. We wanna make sure that everybody's taken care of. It's got more money than any city in the world. We can't have homeless people on the streets that don't have a place to live. Also, homelessness is not a permanent thing in a lot of ways. I think we see homeless as like our local homeless guy. He's always homeless. People cycle in and out of homelessness. So-

Basically, what happens is that there is this system that we have that have shelters all around the city, and then people have that right. If they are from this, we deploy money, and we make sure that they have a right to shelter. If you are here and you are homeless, we will get you a place to stay. That is a New York policy. The only big city in the country has it.

There are people that are seeking asylum or there are people who are coming here illegally that are taking advantage of that right to shelter policy. It's not for illegal immigrants. It's for New Yorkers and people who live here that are going through tough times and they become homeless.

So basically, like what happens is when they have like a free fucking heroin district in San Francisco or Vancouver or one of these super liberal cities that like their way of making sure nobody spreads AIDS is by giving you the heroin or giving you the needles. If you're a junkie, you go, oh, they're giving free shit? Let's do it. Instead of struggling on the border here in Texas, yo, let's try to find a way to get up to New York. They're gonna put us up in the Roosevelt Hotel right across from Madison Square Garden for a few months. We're living good.

So we basically, they're basically taking advantage of a policy that wasn't for them. And now they're incentivized to come here. And then when you add the politicians into it,

They're all like Mayor Adams is a shrewd politicians. He's using it to get more funds from the federal government and from his state government. He's like, look what's happening. What's going on over here? I can't have a new recruiting class for the police. The library's got to close. All these things have got to close. He gets more money. He's like, yeah, I guess we don't need to close those things. But that's what politicians are supposed to do. And then on the border...

They're trying to pass a bill and there's issue with their ability to pass this bill. But one of the crazy things that's happened on the border is the Republicans, you could make the argument, do not want a bill to get passed because they want Trump to be able to use the border as an issue for the election.

Well, they did want it. They asked for it. They put up a fight against another bill. They got what they wanted. And then Trump said, go against what you wanted. But for that same reason. Right. Yeah. So now there's some gray area here as well, because both sides have different philosophies about how you stop this issue. I think the Democrats are a little bit more like-

Why don't we make it, one, easier to just shut down the border, like stop people from even seeking asylum? Like Biden wants that, apparently. I think Biden's also like kicked out way more people than Trump ever did, percentage-wise, but way more people are coming over. Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. So there's a lot of like weird stuff. Basically, there's a lot of gray, but the headlines seem...

Crazy, black and white. Crazy, exactly. But philosophically, there's different issues on the border. Like the Dems are a little bit more like, hey, why don't we get them their ability to work quicker? So at least if they're here, they're not working illegally, they're working legally. And of course, conservatives go-

Well, now you're having all these extra people here that could potentially be taking jobs. You're not looking out for Americans who are looking for jobs. Like, and both of them are right about that. Those are two fair sides. To your old joke, though, I don't think they're taking jobs that they're not like stealing jobs that we're like really wanting. That's the argument that a lot of people make up. And then there's part of me that like hesitates to, to like, to, to support it.

Because I don't know the situation of some dude that doesn't have an education and maybe that's the only thing he can do. Yeah, I guess I'm just basing it, and maybe it was stimulus related, but do you remember after COVID ended, restaurants were still staying closed? We don't have staff. A Mexican would be staffed. An illegal will be staffed. You will not be understaffed if there's enough illegal Mexicans in particular. I promise they'll work. Yeah. I don't think I've ever met an unemployed Mexican in my life. Got four jobs. Yeah.

Made a lot of unemployment and everything else. They want people to come steal their jobs. They're like, I have too many jobs. I'll donate you $2,000 if you want them. So wait, why do the Dems care now, though, about this issue? It seems like only in the past couple of months. Which one, the border? Yeah, the border specifically. Obviously, conservatives have been on the border thing forever. Well, the argument that an Elon Musk has put out, because he basically was like, oh, it's Biden, the Democrats, Trump.

goal is to keep the borders as open as possible so that those people can then become Democrats and they'll maintain a majority. And while there's some logic to support what he's saying, it's kind of

a manipulative take, I think, because like one, it takes a while to get citizenship to vote. Yeah. So it's not like they come over and it's like, oh, here, you can vote in the election. Yeah. So maybe their kids would vote or maybe they do, but that's not in this election. It's going to take a year to see all their cases. But once you get your asylum, it doesn't mean you get citizenship to vote. Like, so it's not exactly... It takes years to get citizenship. Yeah. So like...

I don't think it's a fair argument, but... His mom's been here for 30 years. But that was on her. But like, it's like, yeah, I feel like, I don't know, I feel like the Dems, so you're saying why the Dems upset at it? Yeah, like only now. Is it just because it's affecting liberal cities that they care? Oh, by care, you mean like Mayor Adams. Yeah, I've just seen it. Mayor Adams is not a Democrat. He's the chief of police. Right. He's what we call a New York Democrat.

I feel like I've just seen it more in the forefront of, like, Democrat politicians talking about it now, whereas before I felt like it was just ignored. Yeah. So I'm curious if it's just because it's affecting New York or, like, if there's something that's happening, is there, like, an inflection point where, like, border politics are changing, where things are getting more aggressive at the border? I don't know. I mean, this is a total, like, coastal elite thing, which is, like, you know, not in my backyard or whatever like that. Yeah, NIMBYism, yeah. The NIMBY shit was completely, like, now that illegal immigrants...

are potentially interrupting affairs here in New York. All of a sudden New Yorkers are like, we gotta do something about the border. Where before it was like, be kind to them. What are you, a racist? Why do you not want these people in? So I think there is some of that, for sure.

And then you see headlines where it's like, oh, Eric Adams is going to give every migrant a credit card for, what was it, like $10,000 or some shit like that? I think a total of $53 million total was going to be given to them. And then everybody poor here in the state is like, mm-hmm.

the fuck give us money like that's valid so it's like it's it's uh very there's another one of those stimulus things where it's like like remember to keep the economy going they gave the stimulus yeah like giving the illegal immigrants here money to spend here right like if they give them a car maybe this is why they do it they're fucking smart if they give them a card

They can't take the money and send it back to where they're from. They have to spend it here. If they work jobs that they make cash, they could essentially take the money out of the New York economy. And often do, and then send it back home. As they should. So maybe it's a way of maintaining the liquidity in the city where the asylum seekers are. Yeah.

Maybe, I don't know. We need like a guy who's way smarter about economics and like fiscal policy to figure that shit out. But it seems to me like a lot of these things are boiling down to the same issue. Hey, we need some money to be spent. All right, let's get, what is it? Let's create aid packages that aren't really going to the average person. It was quick to give us all money when the economy needed a little boost. That's very interesting.

So do you think this affects the election directly? Like, do you think it gets resolved by election time? No, I think it will be a talking point. Yeah, I think they always do the same. It's all immigration. Abortion will pop up like abortion is really the last thing Democrats have to stand on in terms of public perception, I think.

What do you mean? I think the reason they did much better than everyone thought in the midterms was the constitutional ruling about abortion. I think a lot of people were more motivated to vote because they were like, oh, we need to codify Roe versus Wade or whatever. This is fucked up. Why did we let this happen? We got to go vote. That's really the only PR thing the Democrats have to hang on to is they took away your right to have an abortion, your right to choose, blah, blah, blah. They damn near need another abortion ruling. I think if they want to do well in 2024.

But the economy is kind of heading back in a good path. Like inflation is still high, but at least the economy like job numbers are better. So it's like Trump is seeing this. He's like, yo, he can't have wins. Yeah. He can't have wins coming close to the election. That's the thing that conservatives probably don't want to admit. And everybody with a brain doesn't want to admit, which is like,

country's doing pretty good under Biden. It is doing pretty good under at least the economy. Shout out to the managerial class. I was talking to someone about this. No, we ate about this yesterday. It's like we have this criticism for the managerial class, right? And we have this criticism for the military industrial complex, etc. But the discussion was like,

Fuck, what was the metaphor that he used? It was like, are we... We're the best economy in the world. We're the strongest economy in the world. You see what's happening right now with China. Their stock market is really struggling. They might have to do a stimulus package to buy in. Apparently, it's like they really cracked down on the tech billionaires. They basically didn't let the Elon Musks and the Mark Zuckerbergs and the Jeff Bezos billionaires

just run free like America did, you know, like let the billionaires play. They took Jack Ma and they put him in a basement and they said, you're going to be making fucking dumplings if you don't get your act together. And then people got a little skittish about investing into tech sectors, I guess. So they lost a little bit of that. This is what Ben is telling me, right? And he's Japanese, so I believe him. And so, but like, and whereas America is like, we've come out of COVID and,

It's really well like way better than most countries. Yeah, like we've gotten that inflation that was running the fuck away to a point where I feel like it's not to say there aren't people suffering there's not to say that there but Comparative suffering like our eggs cheaper here than they are in Canada. Yes our groceries cheaper here than they were in England or Norway, right? Yes, so

You can't go, is it as good as it was before? Because there was a catastrophic event that happened. You have to compare what's going on to what other people or other countries are doing. And if we're doing better, do we fucking pat on the back the managerial class? Like, do we pat Janet Yellen or whoever that woman is who runs the money and be like, yo, keep running the money good. Like, are we bitching about, I think the metaphor he uses like playing time.

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Current is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Choice Financial Group, member FDIC, and Crossword Bank, member FDIC. For full terms and conditions, visit current.com or call 888-851-1172 for more information. Let's get back to the show. Yeah, it's tricky. I was thinking about this with even the Putin interview. I was like, if you're the managerial class...

Like, do you have an obligation to control the flow of information? Because obviously the free speech absolutist and like, you know, even myself included to an extent, I'm like, no, we should be able to hear what other national leaders are saying. But we're the only major superpower that basically is able to do that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think...

Like, Chinese media is going to be broadcasting, like, you know, any president, any U.S. president's idea of what American imperialism is. Or, like, any Russian, like, dictator and vice versa. So, like, I don't think... They do. They just dub it and then... Say whatever we want. They don't even need to dub Biden's problem. They're like, no, listen to this shit right here. But isn't that amazing? Keep going. This is a great point. What an amazing thing. So it's cool that we have that and we're able to get all the information and we're able to, like, hear what other countries...

you know, leaders are saying, but at the same time, it's like, there are Americans that are getting swayed by it. And is that against our interest if this guy is just lying? And if he's just talking out of his ass to like gain sentiment, like, is that bad for us? And should we be controlling what information can't get in? Because every other country does. I'm sure the managerial class would be like, yes, we should because these idiots, the people don't know what's good for them. And we have to make sure that they're not getting information they're being manipulated by, which

clearly was the goal of that interview. The goal of that interview was to manipulate based on truth or based on, you know, falsehoods. It doesn't matter. The goal was to manipulate, manipulate into a direction. Right. Fair enough. But,

Maybe it's on us to be intelligent enough to combat that information. Which is the argument against having a managerial class. It's on us to be intelligent enough to govern ourselves. Oh, I meant the managerial class. Like, instead of squashing that interview, you put out something saying why...

Tucker or not saying why Tucker should have done it but saying why Putin was lying or not being complete truthfulness weakness But that's why they're coming so hard at tech companies because it'd be like yo y'all are letting all this misinformation Making our kids stupid. You're swaying elections is like you guys have a bigger responsibility to not let this shit I do I do subscribe to that idea which is like

You bare minimum have a responsibility to tell us if information is true or false or there maybe is another term for like when it's completely opinion based. Subjective, I guess. It could be biased. Like if somebody's out there going the Miami Dolphins are the greatest football team in the world.

We all know that that's just someone's opinion, but maybe there's a version of that. But yeah, I do think that they should have the responsibility to at least inform which they're doing now, I think. The free speech absolutists are just like, nah.

Every every you should be able to say whatever I mean lying is just like yeah, I think lying is its own thing as information Yeah, especially when a smart person is lying and you can't discern what's true or not Yeah, and like other countries are getting information is a funny story a friend of mine works with like what's your factories in China? It's like doing like clothing and shit and he'll get a text like randomly like once a week from like this Chinese lady that he's in like, you know contact with that'll be like Are you okay all caps?

He'll be like, yeah, what's up? And then she'll be like, oh my goodness, I was so worried about you. And then we'll send a link to like a train that got derailed in Portland.

And he'll be like, what? And she's like, yeah, this is big news here. Things don't seem good over there. Hope you're okay. And he's like, what is going on? And basically, like, when some bad shit happens here, like, I was actually talking to Des Bishop. He says that, like, Chinese media will do this, where, like, the opening thing will be, like, here's why China's amazing. That's, like, segment one on the news. Segment two is here's why the West is falling apart. And then segment three will be some shit about, like, Xi Jinping or something. I can't remember. But there's always a segment about, like, all right, here's why America's getting fucked up. And they just control it.

To make the point I was arguing earlier, free speech absolutist would be like, that's why you need both sides. So you know what's coming from every angle. And then you should be smart enough to discern what's true and what's not. I just, I don't know. It seems like if there's a blatant lie, a little disclaimer, this has been proven to not be true, would be nice. The only tricky thing with that system is who gets to decide what is true or false. And we have to at least acknowledge that that's frustrating. And I get why the free speech absolutist is concerned because they're like, yo, I could be saying something that

we believe is true, we've researched it, it is true, and then someone out of nowhere who's part of the managerial class that doesn't like my opinion or thinks that my opinion could bias people in a certain direction could say it's false and then completely discredit what I say. That's too much power to give them. I get that argument too. - This is the problem with nation building. - Yo, this shit is tricky, bro. - I think people should be empathetic to the nation building and be like, yo, this shit is hard as fuck.

Maybe that. Yeah, go, go, go. If you listen to Putin, you're like, wait, did we blow up the Nord pipeline? We need SimCity, but for geopolitics. So people can really just get a sense of how hard that is. Yeah. Who blew up the pipeline? Like he's saying the CIA did it. And like there's probably like there's there's conclusive evidence or I guess what do you call it? Like circumstantial evidence to say like maybe who could do it and who would want to. I mean, there's probably a few countries on the planet that can do it.

That could. And then you just have to line up the interests. So it's like, yeah. And then do we want to know that about ourselves? It's like, okay, we're getting true shit and we're finding out about our fuck shit. And then it's like, okay, as a managerial class, do you just propagandize your own country? And then all the people are like, no. That's what I'm saying. Nature's building is fucking hard. Which pill you want to take, my boy? Yeah, type shit. Because that's really what it is. And I genuinely believe. And let's just have an honest conversation with ourselves right now. Who goes first?

Which one is the bluest? That's the... Yeah, the live in the false reality. Live in the false reality, right? And it's like... Red pill is when you hate bitches. When you take that one, then you beat the shit out of your wife. That's the one I would say. It really is. It's just misery. It really is. But the blue pill, you say you would take because you've seen the movie.

Yeah. So you don't have the curiosity about what the truth is and what it does to you, right? Because I've thought about that as well. It's like after seeing the movie, you're like, I don't want to live in no fucking spaceship underground. Food is fucking sludge. Yeah. Literally, it's just the food. Yeah. That's the only, like, if the food was fire, if they had P.F. Changs in that bitch, we'd be good. Do you know what I mean? Fucking giant hole in the back of your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Where's some of that food? That was kind of, you know.

We had at the wedding. You know what I mean? Like, it's not... Like, it's... No disrespect, but it is similar. It is more similar. Seasoning, at least. Seasoning. It might have been season. I don't know. That's y'all with the no season. That's fair. That is fair. And the fits of fire when they're in the matrix. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm doing it for the clothes, bro. But, yo, they look good every time. Is that Yeezy? You only look good when you in the...

the blue pill world. So you're telling me I'm in the red pill world, but the only fun I ever have is when I'm in the blue pill world and I could have just been in that world? Yeah. So here's the question. Let's say we're doing okay. Let's say you're doing okay, your family's okay, and things are going okay, right? Let's say we're blessed, things are going okay, right? Yep. Oh, sorry. Things are going okay, we're blessed. You have the curiosity of the red pill.

Right? Or in this circumstance, you have the curiosity of what would it be like if we didn't have a managerial class? Or what would it be like if we didn't have the military industrial complex, etc.? But is it possible the people that are making those complaints are not satisfied enough with life that they don't want to

Yeah, their reality is not the best. I imagine if your reality is good and you enjoy your reality, do you really want to look into- Why rock the boat? Yeah. I think that that's the masses, and I think maybe that's the- It's usually not happy people complaining at home online. It's usually not. Looking into conspiracies about whatever. There's something that you need to understand, and then-

Yeah, I don't know. I look at that a little bit and I wonder if that is the, they talk about this all the time, like they keep us fighting against each other and that's why we never do anything. It's like, I don't know if that's it. I think what they do is the opiate that they give us is that incredible Super Bowl experience where the whole day is you and your friends, you're watching this amazing game and even the commercials are really good. Like the opiate isn't,

racism and hatred. The opiate is like, you need both though. You add a little racism, it gets hot. Everybody likes drama. Don't get me wrong. The drama's fire. But we still need rec league basketball. That's awesome. That has a trophy at the end. We still need a great TV show to watch. Like the opiate to make our lives like fun. And it's not that much. Like, do you know what I mean? It's all blue pill stuff. Yeah. So I,

I wonder if that's it. It's like maybe life and there's tons of people who don't have this privilege, but for the people who are living good lives and their families are safe, how much do they really want the Fed taking down? Do you know what I mean? Like I watched one Fed thing. You know me, I'm prisoner of the moment. So the last thing I watched, that's how I feel. So I'm like, we got to take down the Fed. I don't think in that moment, like, shit, the Fed's been doing all right for me. It's only 3%. Inflation, it's only 3%.

You know what I mean? Like this, does that make, am I making sense or am I being like a complete? No, I do think people kind of look at their lives and they think like the little things that are bugging them, they don't think how it could be worse. They just think like, oh, it could be better. Because they haven't seen the matrix. They don't know what America looks like when we take that pill.

Also, if you haven't left America, you don't know how great America is economically. Like, there's people who are struggling here for sure. I've seen levels of poverty leaving America that I'm like, this ain't anywhere in America. This ain't anywhere in America. We're going to talk about the 1%. Most Americans are the 1%. Of the world, you're saying. Wall Street, take down Wall Street, take down the 1%. If you are American, for a large percentage of America, you are in the 1%, globally speaking. So what do we do, man?

You know what you want? You wanna be able to just peek in, you wanna know what happened with Epstein. Yeah. This is what probably most, I don't know about most people, but this is what I think a lot of people want. They wanna just know and then they want shit to stay the same. They don't wanna deal with the repercussions of the change. Yeah.

Because the repercussions of change could drastically affect your life, affect your kids. Well, it depends. If you're already feeling frustrated and life isn't going well, then you're like, fuck it. What do I got to lose? That's where you're on some drain the swamp time where you're like, flip the whole shit upside down because how much worse could it get? Exactly. My life sucks. Everything's horrible over here. Who gives a fuck if these people are pretty happy watching the Super Bowl and enjoying their friends? Fuck them. I'm miserable. So let's flip this whole shit. Yeah.

That's kind of selfish in a way. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, but also selfish. That's nation building. It's selfish of us to be like, well, let's keep things the same. Things are good for me. Yeah. Oh, of course. Everybody, I guess that's the point I'm trying to make is everybody's being selfish. The person who's like living good, got their mortgage, their family's fucking great, they're like,

And they see all this money going to fight a war that could seem absolutely pointless, but they're not saying stop it because they're just worried about their small nuclear family. Selfish. Yeah. The unselfish thing to do would be like, well, it's to take that sacrifice to stop those people from dying. And that's why you got to convince your nation that what's best for you is what's best for the country. And that's where you get a propaganda. And that's why. Into being like, yo, we need a monoculture where we're all the same shit and squash all the rest of it. No more religion. And then you're China. And you're like, fuck.

They done did it. Yeah. Yeah, it's tricky.

- I mean, what a ballsy thing to do as America to just let all these different people come here. Different beliefs, different languages. Crazy, crazy. - It's fucking nuts. - Right about reincarnation. Yo, Miles is telling me Mark's whole foundation is rocked by the fact that he believes in reincarnation now. He's like texting Miles like, so you missed this. Mark watched some Cat P and then we talked about this. - Fucking righty, he's a lefty. But then he got a little bit better.

But, yeah, it just... Like, what is this? Oh, no! Son, you had a growl. Son, we knew you was lying about your fucking... You know how you said you got a fear of bears or that? Real bears, not a fucking black guy in a jacket. You're in the camp. Get in the camp.

Yeah, I'm scared of actual bears, bro. No, you said a bear mask. Yeah, when I was 11 or something. Oh, he's talking about gays. I'm scared of gays. I'd be afraid right now. What are you talking about? Oh, my God, dude. I respect that you went for it. I did. I do. The crawl. Yeah. I mean, I'm more scared of black guys. If you just walked up to them, they'd be like, oh, my God. Jeez, you fucking asshole. Oh, my God. Turn.

Turn the music down. I was like, all right. That's funny. Wait, where did that come from? So it's not scary at all to you? I mean, not. You told me that there was a mask that was. Yes. I can show you a picture of this mask. I was like seven years old and my sister would come in with the mask. And I'd be like, oh, fuck. I'm scared. I'm sick, sleeping in bed. Yeah, that was scary. What? He's going to lose his shit. Yeah, we really thought. Bro, he wasn't even the slightest bit scared. This was 20 years ago. He walked.

That's annoying. Dude, you don't know. They've been plotting this for years. Deadass before you were even on the pod. And you talked about pranking you and showing up in a bear mask at the airport. Now I feel bad. Do it again. Do it again. Don't feel bad. You didn't let us down. Do it again. A friend sent me that. A friend works for them and sent me that. And then we saw it and we're like, oh, perfect. Now we have the bear mask.

I mean, did you think I would go into a museum and see a bear taxidermy and be like, oh my god. Yeah, dude. We thought it was a phobia. Phobia is a phobia is a fear. I was more afraid of someone yelling at me as a child. I thought you were like the fat guy with the balloons. Yeah, my bad. No, bro. Maybe I oversold it. My bad.

You've been talking about this on the pod. Yeah. When I was a kid. Anyway, what else we got, Mark? We got to talk about Rogan. Oh, yeah. Rogan. Unbelievable, bro. Now he's back on. He's on Apple Podcasts. He's everywhere. I think he's going to be on YouTube, too. So,

Yeah, just the GOAT. Yeah. Just the GOAT. I was saying this to you, and this is before the deal even got announced, but this is when I knew Spotify was smart to sign me to the first deal. My sister-in-law is talking to me about a podcast. She's recommending it. She's like, you should check it out. You would like it. You know where I go to look up the podcast, didn't even think about it? I went to Spotify. I never would have done that pre-Rogan. Another podcast an asshole Army member told me about called The Knowledge Project. Yeah, you got to listen to this. Listen to this episode.

Shouts to you. I forgot your name. I'm sorry. But I remember now I looked it up on Spotify. That's why you throw the crazy bag at Rogan. No. Because they made...

the place to go to. Yeah, you're paying for market share. You are paying for market share and he did it. Yeah, it would have been Apple Podcasts before that, right? It would absolutely have been Apple Podcasts. I don't even go to the podcast app where podcasts were created. I don't even go to that. I don't go to it. I used to go to Apple. I had one called Overcast that I would go to. I had like all these different apps. I would never go to Spotify. I don't even listen to music on Apple no more. Oh, yeah.

That's how crazy it is. Like, to me, I listen to music still on Apple, and then I would listen to pods on Spotify. Yes. And now it's shifted my music consumption. So they're making money off of not just podcasts. They're making money. Like you said, it's not just his podcast. It's everybody who listens to podcasts on Spotify. Yes, and that's not just... I'm sure the same thing... Oh, Alex Cooper's doing the same thing for girls. I'm sure. But not to that same level. Yeah. And they kept Rogan for a reason. I thought they signed her, too. Oh, I thought they...

they let that go. I think Rogan's number one, Alex Cooper's number two in terms of all the deals they signed panning out. Yeah. Rogan dissed it number one. They did it. And then I give Alex Cooper her credit. She's a beast. But like, Rogan is the reason any dude is listening to podcasts. I gotta ask Rogan how he got the bag...

I don't know if it's, I mean, it seems like it's bigger than the first bag. Plus he got the freedom to put it wherever. From what I've read, Spotify is like, we don't need, I think again, they're not dumb, dude. I think they threw the bag at Rogan to be exclusive because they knew changing behavior is the single hardest thing to do.

Changing behavior of someone instinctively going to Apple Podcasts, to Spotify, I need you to be exclusive. I'm going to throw crazy bag at you. And now they're like, we don't need exclusivity anymore because we won. The war is over. Now let's just do a revenue share on ads. And the best way to get revenue share on ads is let them have it everywhere. Oh. So you take the piece of YouTube. I don't know if that's how it's structured. So it's worth $250 million to get a percentage of Rogan's ads. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. That makes sense. Yeah, they're getting a percentage of the ads. I also figured there was another angle where it's like, you've gotten the market share, but you also know how he can move market share. So you have to pay him to not leave. Because he could easily just be like, I'm not putting it on Spotify anymore. I'll go exclusive to Apple. Or I won't put it on Spotify. He don't even have to go exclusive somewhere else. Everywhere else, BuzzFeed. I'm sure that factors in too. This guy moves this fucking landscape of entertainment.

So you just have to, it is what it is. But I also think they aren't going to do exclusive deals anymore. They're like, we'll still do it. Well, they got the market share. The whole idea with the deals was to get people to consume podcasts on the Spotify app or Spotify platform. It's like, you've achieved it. You don't have to spend any more money. And I think that's why they slashed so many people in that department. It's like, it's been done. We've got all the people.

I think people might even miss how hard that was because at least even for me, I feel like I was on like the edge of it. Had I not been like involved in podcasting at the time, I don't even know if I would have noticed, but like every, all audio was consumed on, you know, YouTube and like Apple, like going from all the way back to like iTunes days. And like, they just held that like lineage all the way up. And dude, you know what's crazy? Before the Rogan deal, they were handing out other deals. I think before other podcasts that I would listen to on my other apps, I just, when they went exclusive to Spotify, I stopped listening. Hmm.

Spotify became my primary app and I just fell out of it with that podcast. And I don't even want to make anybody feel bad or whatever, so no names, but like, don't even think about them anymore. Rogan got me to switch my entire behavioral habits. Keep listening to that. It's like a fucking crazy thing. Huge risk, but it paid off massively. Yeah, that's awesome. Shit.

It's really, really cool. I mean, shouts, dude. That's insane. And I also think they learned that the Spotify exclusive pods weren't working, especially if they don't come in with a built-in audience. Like, they launched so many Spotify originals.

And it just didn't. There's like big names thinking that it will come, and it's like, nah. They have to have the built-in audience. We have to trust you. You also had to overpay. I think they did this knowing we're going to overpay. We're going to lose on a lot of these guys. Like Russ was talking about with the advances you give. Like four of these won't pan out. One of them will. Four of these podcast deals won't pan out. One of them happened to be Rogan, and the guy moves fucking mountains. We got the right guy. Yeah, it's weird. It's like podcasting isn't like...

to see someone at a nightclub where like if the person's famous enough, even though they got nothing to do with dancing or DJing, you might just show up. You know, you're going to be like, oh shit, fucking Jay-Z is going to be hanging out at 11 in Vegas for the Super Bowl after party. I'll go watch Jay-Z 100%.

Podcasting is like you got to specifically want to enjoy listening to those people So that's why I knew Charlemagne with the brilliant days I knew it was gonna kill us because people were already in a listening pattern with Charlemagne but if random actor

Just starts a podcast it might work in my nuts smart lists ended up working those three guys were great And that was three of them right yeah, those three guys are great They end up killing how many famous people have started podcast that no one gives a flying fuck about it also takes time You got to be committed to it like even like Dax like Dax Shepard shows like one of my favorites, but he's been doing it for

Five years? Six years? Yeah, it feels like an overnight success because we all found out about it late. Yeah, years in and we found out about it. He's already independently wealthy, successful actor, producer, whatever. Married to literally Frozen. And just doubles down and works super hard on this one pod for a dumb long. And before he gets a bag from Spotify. Is he going to keep doing it with Spotify? I don't know. They're not exclusive anymore, I don't think. They're not. Got it.

But yeah, I think they cut a lot of their exclusivity deals because they're like, hey, I think we got market share. Let's go. Yeah. Let's go blow the show up. And now you see the guys who they made money, who the deal was like, this was the winner. It's him and maybe Alex Cooper. That's the other thing to think about when you take a deal like that. Like if you take a deal that could...

Significantly. With Rogan, he was great enough where it didn't reduce his market share. His show probably just grew. And he had to bust his ass to do that shit. He never let up. He could have gone three a week probably and been totally fine. But he kept doing banger after banger after banger. Four weeks, five a week. Yeah, I don't even think he gets enough credit for that. He went behind...

a paywall pretty much. Yeah. And the show grew. Can you imagine going exclusively to Patreon and then your numbers go up overall? Yeah. It kept the work ethic. Unreal. But fuck, what was I just saying? What brought us to that? Oh, that's why you got to be careful when you take a bag for an exclusivity thing. Like, you better hope that that bag...

Is all the money you're going to make for the rest of your time podcasting. Sustainable. Because what you're potentially doing is significantly decreasing your audience size for a two-year window. You don't know if that audience is going to be there when you come back to the open market. And you don't know if the podcast company is going to re-sign you because they might have gotten your market share. I remember Netflix.

had this strategy where they would add an extra season onto popular shows. So there was a popular show called The Killing on AMC, and Netflix was like, we're going to do an extra season on Netflix. And it was a great way to grab market share. There was all these fans of this show, and they weren't necessarily the biggest shows, but they were devout viewership. And they would do an extra season on Netflix. So this is early on. You're like, I'll buy Netflix to watch my favorite show. The rest of the development did the same thing. They did with the rest of the development as well. And-

They're never doing another season after that because they don't have to. They got you. They got you in the door. They gave you the little taste, whatever it was. Once you get the 1099 on your monthly bill, can you see all the other shit that's on Netflix? Good to go. So I think that there were some people that saw the bag and they were like, all that money, that's fucking crazy. I'm definitely going to do that. But they might not have realized that that was the last bag that they were going to get. And this is where we'll see if they're good enough to continue to bill, but like...

It's a harder thing. Yeah. When your audience size significantly shrinks, then to go back out there in the world and then just hope they all find it again. Also, if your pay isn't tied to performance, it kind of just goes down to like, oh,

almost like character, like personal philosophy of like what you do. If your pay is not tied to performance, then are you someone that's going to like still show up every day and work as hard as you were before? Or are you going to kind of coast? Especially if it's not some shit that you even like. Like a lot of these people that were doing podcasts, they just did it because their agent presented them with a bag and they're like, I just got to talk for an hour a week and I get this amount of money, I'll do it. Those people, once they get their guaranteed money, they're not giving a flying fuck about it. I think like Meghan Markle, I don't even think she finished this.

Yeah, she wasn't doing it regularly. It's not for some people, and they just kind of bounce. Yeah. But, yeah, no, it's really cool that he did that, just kept the work ethic and kept the character, and just be like, I'm going to go even harder and have bigger episodes, even though it's not necessarily directly going to performance bonuses or whatever. Yeah. Really cool. I don't know if that's part of his deal, but I think it's cool. Podcasting isn't hard, but it is something that you have to want to do.

You know what I mean? Like if it's not something that you enjoy doing, you will make really horrible podcasts. I was saying to Charlamagne when we were doing "Brilliant Eight," it's like the hardest thing about podcasting is chemistry. Like getting chemistry with the people you do it with, that's the impossible thing to get. Like the people that have great natural chemistry, they can do a podcast, it could be fun, it could be easy.

the people who don't, but they just have names that they bring it together, it's going to suck. People are going to hate it. They're not going to want it. I think consistency. Yeah. Are you willing to just do it every week for the next three years or whatever? Yeah.

In obscurity. Yeah. All right, what else we got, Mark? Did you see, just to add on to that, podcast has also added audio books to all premium memberships. Oh, yeah. What does that mean? Spotify? Yeah, Spotify. Sorry, Spotify. So like you can go on Spotify now if you just have the music one. You can also listen to like 150,000 books. You get 15 hours a month to listen to books. Oh, shit. Pretty fire. Fire, right? Yeah.

So that's what it seems like the next acquisition. They had a couple different audiobooks on there before. I think those were independent. Yeah, the acquisition they're doing is crazy. They're trying to be the audiobook player. Anything that you listen to. I'll be honest, Audible's a pain in the fucking ass. I quit.

I bought 23 credits. I didn't know how to access them. Buy credits. You can't get more. You can only buy so many books a month. Why can I not just buy a book when I want to buy a fucking book? It's because they don't want to lose money to Apple. So you buy the token and then you buy the book.

So it's their way around Apple because if you're buying things through the Apple store, Apple gets that piece. 30% cut. Let them get the piece because you lost me, you fucking idiots. I don't know. I think what they do is genius because they give you all those credits, but then if you try to cancel, you lose all the credits. So it's like it forces you to kind of, it's like, damn, I have like 10 credits sitting here. If I cancel, I lose them all. So I'm going to just hold on to this. It's good fast money. It's really. It's a one-time lick. I tried canceling a few times and I was like, damn, this is crazy. Damn.

I'm canceling. I ain't using these credits. Ease of act. Once Spotify comes in and just offers me books, and I realize, oh, shit, I like audiobooks, and if they got the reading component as well, oh, shit, I enjoy this. You know what's going to come with that? A couple more dollars a month on the cost, and you're going to be like, ah, I'm getting something else. $5 to have my favorite books. To have a library.

It's 15 hours the month, and then you can pay for 10 more. Yeah. Because 15 hours is a pretty good book. I read big books, but 15 hours is still— Oh, do you read something? How big of a book are you reading? 27 hours. Maybe 27 hours. But yeah, 15 hours will get you through most books. I read big books. I read big books. Yo, what's a big book? Not the books you've done. The Power Broker. The Power Broker. Yeah.

Power broker. Two times speed also. I'm fucking smart. You can go 2x? I retain nothing at 2x. I retain nothing at 1x. I realize my retention is 1 and 1.25. You go over 1.25 in this year, out there. My brain is not faster than 1.25. That's crazy. If I listen to it on one, you lost me after 30 seconds. Oh, I'm going to fall asleep at one. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it's got to be two because now I'm working. Anything I listen to before...

I'm kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I don't got to work to listen, nah, you lost me. There's too much to think about. No, two is too fast. Because I pretend that I'm listening and then I'll try to explain it to someone after the last one question. I'll be like, you listen to it, bro. I don't fucking know. I don't know how any of this shit works. I'm 0.5.

I listened to Putin on 1.25. I had to. The history lesson? Come on, bro. Oh, dude, Mark, reincarnation. Yeah, you didn't know this. He watched some TV show about past lives and kids who remember their past lives. And it really affected him to the point that he's like texting Miles, like, Miles, I need you to watch this. And Miles is skeptical. He's like, I need you to watch this and tell me why it's bullshit. Because if Mark has to believe in reincarnation, what is his life?

What is all this years of Catholicism? I mean, he does believe in, I mean, Catholicism is the greatest example of reincarnation. Jesus dies and comes back. And only Jesus dies and comes back. Well, you didn't say that reincarnation applies to everybody. Apparently it does. Oh, does it? I don't know if it applies to everybody. It applies to these six kids. That's six Jesuses. That's more Jesus than Catholicism ever talked about. I don't know.

I don't know. These kids knew some shit. I don't know how they knew it, bro. There is a possibility that I'm like, I don't know, are the parents kind of like feeding it? What they know. You don't want to believe. This motherfucker believes everything. That is crazy, bro. Is there anything you don't believe in? Why don't you watch and see what you think? I don't see in his past lives.

Mine own it's tricky, but that's my question. I'm like is it there was an influence there was someone talk What did they hear about in their past lives? what were they saying the names of ships that they claimed to have been on a World War two and The names of people that they were friends with all the ships. They remember like a five-year-old kid He's like I was on a big boat. I had an airplane they shot me who shot you the people with the red flag the Red dot I mean they could have watched any movie where a plane was shot. I

Why don't you just watch the thing? I don't know. That's my point. That's why I'm skeptical in general. All right, I'm going to watch it, but it's time. Go. The other one. Watch it on 1.25. What was the other one where it was an actor or something? It was a Hollywood guy where he was like, apparently none of this information was public on the internet, but he was like, look, this Hollywood guy, I used to be him, and that was my friend, and he was a cowboy, and I had this color car, and apparently the super niche details weren't on there.

And they verified it with the family. He knew his death certificate was wrong. He knew his death certificate was wrong. He said, like, when did you die? He was like, oh, I was 61. They were like, actually, you were 59. And then they checked the death certificate. He was actually 61. The family had it wrong. It's little things like that where you're just like, what is happening? Can memory be passed down through DNA? It depends if you believe in epigenetics, yeah. Like, epigenetic research is basically like, can you inherit, like, trauma or feelings that, like, your ancestors might have inflicted that's not genetically encoded in them but something that they experienced. Yeah, so it's that.

Done. I solved your stupid riddle. But it's not the same family. No one in the family was involved in World War II. What else can show salt to them? No, it doesn't need to be from the family. They could have just consumed that content and that content is baked into them and then passed through their genetic material. Maybe.

I don't, yeah, I don't think, I think if you watched it, it would still seem like a lot of people. What else can you solve today? You can watch it. I heard your whole breakdown. You did a whole 20-minute breakdown on Patreon. Listen, I solved your problem. What else? Do we have any other problems that we can solve? Yeah, what else can you solve today? I mean, you converted me to not be a Catholic. You did a great job. I'm killing it. I'm killing it.

I mean, we can talk about Shane. We gotta talk about Shane, son. And getting the Bud Light. Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, Bud Light bag, huge. But that's obvious. The amount of promo that Bud Light has been getting from Shane already. Like, they owe him millions just for, like, drinking all those Bud Lights on Rogan every time they go on. Like, every time they do the protective parts. The fact that...

Bud Light's been getting that for free and they haven't called up Shane and been like, hey, here's a million dollars. Thank you so much. Awesome. The most influential man on the planet is drinking our beer because of you. Yeah. I'm bummed that he wasn't in the Super Bowl commercial. Son, I was watching it, waiting for him to pop up. They must have filmed that before the deal was signed or something like that. He would have blown up. If you had Post and Shane, it would have been crazy. Yeah, insanity. Miles had a great idea for a Super Bowl and then Bud Light messed up. Okay.

Well, I think that they should have started with like the Dilly Dilly opening that was like popular six, seven years ago before the whole controversy. Same exact open. And then when they go to the night in the all blue, he peels his head off, peels the helmet off. Yeah. And then it's Shane Gillis, Gilly Gilly.

Gilly, gilly. Fire, right? Gilly, gilly. And then him in like post and everyone's just partying. Like same commercial, just on the second half. I mean, they could have easily put him in that fucking commercial. That's what kind of annoyed me about it. It must have been a timing thing, but like they were at a place that had a stage already. Yeah. So he could have been on stage or doing something, whatever. But the SNL thing. I mean. It's insane. What a fucking win. Crazy, right? What a win. We're trying to think about.

like other, his, like in entertainment, when does this happen? Chappelle getting the rights back to his show. I mean, Norm, Norm got, oh yeah, Norm got fired. Kicked off SNL and comes back and hosts. This is awesome. But like, and that's fire because that's like one of Shane's. Yeah.

Yeah. Like heroes. Yeah. No, it's sick because, I mean, yeah, to like get banished from the city and then return as king is like always biblical. This is what like all of us in our minds are thinking when we're in the shower and replaying events, replaying things we would have said. I'll show them. He's going to get to show them and they're going to fucking knock it out of the park. I already know. And is he going to have McKeever do a couple sketches? He'd be so fired. I would imagine that you would bring

your guys. I would imagine SNL, if they're smart, they're like, hey, you know how you make the best sketches online? Why don't you do that for us? That'd be great. He's got to do Trump.

Like that's like done. No question. Yeah. I'm curious if he brings back other sketches. Like if he brings back like the guy, Fieri guy, like the PTSD dude, or like if he brings back some of those characters. Yeah. Cause I think it'd be smart. Like if he's has this show online already and you have this platform, if we're familiar with them. Yeah. Cause it's less legwork of creating a new character. Yeah. That's not familiar with it. It'd be like, Oh, this character is so funny. And you're like, yeah, I have another sketch already on YouTube. I'm like, I wonder if you can double dip like,

There's an interesting thing. Like some, there's some people like hit me up for like comment on it. And they were like, doesn't this show that a cancel culture isn't real. No. And, and yeah, it's like, I already feel it kind of like percolating a little bit. I know that we had spoken about this a little bit, but like,

I don't like that angle. Yes, I feel like cancel culture is different than it used to be. And I'm like annoyed even as a comedian to like talk about cancel culture. Like every time I get hit up by these fucking talk shows and like, would you like to come talk to us about cancel culture? Like the last thing I want to talk about is cancel culture. But what I will say is I do think it's unfair to Shane if you're using this to go cancel culture never existed.

Because you basically are removing his comeback. You know what I mean? Like he was so determined and then he kept working that he was able to get the opportunity despite being canceled. Yeah. When you go, see, cancel culture never existed. All right. So then he never went through anything. He never lost anything. He diminished what he went through. Exactly. It's like a guy that's wrongfully in prison for 10 years and he gets out. And it's like the justice system works. Yeah. So like that.

I already know that that's gonna be a conversation that kinda comes. They're gonna use it to kinda almost discredit it. But what he did, and like the internet hated this guy. Like they shit all over him. - Trending on Twitter. - Even comedians were attacking another comedian. Like for jokes, like trying to be funny.

And he's showing up at his shows being like, oh, here's the cancel. Like, so I just I don't think that's fair to him. And I already know that that narrative is kind of like percolating a little bit. And people don't even realize it, because I think a lot of times people

the articles are like celebrating. They're like, see, we're done with cancel culture. And it's like, things are different, sure. But don't discredit what the guy had to go through to get this opportunity. Yeah, and on the fringes, there are some kind of like talentless hacks, for lack of a nicer way to say it, who mobilize cancel culture and act like they're getting canceled and they're not. And that's fucking annoying. Yeah. But,

Not even, aside from all that shit the chain had to go through, imagine the internet calling you and believing and thinking this is a racist person. Like, even that in and of itself. Which they're right. Look, you can be right. You know what I'm saying? You can be right and wrong. But like, if the whole internet's like, this guy's- I gave him the pass. I gave him the pass. Oh, he's been using it. But,

But yeah, it's like that. You're even kind of marginalizing that. That's fucking miserable. Yeah. The whole world thinks I'm this guy. I'm making some jokes that didn't land. OK, we all fail as comics. Comics know that. But now I'm just a racist for the rest of my life. Like as far as I can tell conceivably, unless I flip it and he flipped it. I really hope he does an Asian accent.

Oh, you got it. He got it open on you. That would be fucking like... Ride from New York! It's Saturday night! I think that's Joe List made that comment, ride from New York. What happened? On his IG, when Shane announced, he said ride from New York. But how fire would that be if Shane was just like, ride from New York! Yeah.

I mean, yeah, he's got to do it. I don't think he should shit on the show, though. I don't think he will. No, he won't. I saw some people being like, oh, he's going to get his revenge. He's going to call them all. He's going to fucking put the swords around him. Son, you got to give Lorne credit. And remember Shane, after he got fired, we had him on the pod early. Yeah. Back when we just started, of course. And he was like, dude, Lorne is the fucking man.

Yeah. And Lauren was like trying to get him to keep his job. He was like pitching it. And I'm sure someone over Lauren was like, we can't do it. But I think Lauren had to go to bed and be like, now this kid needs to host. Yeah. So you got to give Lauren his credit to give him his like props for it. Yeah. I think it's like it's a I think it's a cool moment. Yeah, I don't I wouldn't shit on the show because in a way him doing the show.

I think, and it looks like he's past this, and I think he's good no matter what. Obviously, brands aren't concerned. But there is a moment after you get canceled for something like racism where brands are scared to mess with you. And then you go have the successful Netflix specials, and you have the Bud Light. And now you're...

you're fine, but going back on the show that canceled you completely wipes the slate clean. You could go do a Pixar movie now. You could voice what, and I think that, I don't know if SNL is aware of it. If they are aware that they're doing that, that's cool. And that's worth not shitting on. It's basically, yo, we fucked up and we fucked and kind of messed up your life and you had to work really hard to get where you're at. And

This benefits us by having you, the super famous comedian, on our pod, on our show. But at the same time, we're going to wipe this like, we fucked up. This is them going, yo, we fucked up. And we're going to tell everyone, hey, we're good. We, yeah, because it's not like the things that they canceled him for, they're not.

Aren't still on the internet. Yeah, right. It's not like yo, I think it's part of the reason why but light didn't put him in the question So late might be completely clean yet. So it's like hey, we're gonna February 25th We got an ad lock and load it son. I guarantee if SNL came out before the Super Bowl. He's in that. Hmm That's an interesting point

So, yeah, yeah, it's going to be, I mean, they did the thing with the trans person and it was like that backfired on him. So it's like, hey, let's just let him see what people say about it. You know, the victory is killing. If he if he goes on there and kills, he doesn't even need to shoot on SNL. The whole everybody watching would be like, see, y'all fucked up. I was going to have this every week. Yeah. So that's the win is just killing.

Maybe there's a funny way to acknowledge it. I don't know. I got to hit him. I truly don't remember the last time I was this excited for SNL that I'm like, I want to watch the premiere. Yeah. I want to watch it live. Maybe Chappelle. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Chappelle was crazy. It is so dumb that you even still now have like news agencies and shit being like, oh, here's the racist jokes that comedian St. Gillis says. They run it right back. And it's like, how do you not understand this is helping? Like if your goal is to try to hurt this guy's career, you're doing the exact opposite. They're probably not even trying. They probably just want some clicks. They just want the clicks, man. They want to take some damage if it comes. If it works out for them, great.

Shall we, guys? Is that the end of an episode? I think so. You got to go see your kid, dude. Yeah, I have responsibilities, dude. Why did you do such a long pod today? Why are you cooking so long, dude? I don't know. You need to go home right now. Diapers. Everybody was out of diapers, babe. I kept looking. Every single Dwayne Reed. Yep.

No, I got to get out. But anyway, guys, thank you guys so much, and I appreciate you, and a lot of people reached out, and thank you very much for the kind words, and thank you very much for the support when we were going through our situation. And I hope everybody who is going through that, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you have a similar outcome. And that shit is tough, I know, but it is awesome at the end of the tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel is fucking...

It is absolutely worth it. So I hope you all can get there as well. So thank you guys so much. Might be time for you to run it back, dude. Run it back, baby. I'll be ready, bro. You know me. Run it back, bro. Let's get it. Don't even waste my girl getting back in shape. You know what I mean? Stay fat for three in a row and then get it back. That's it. That's funny. Shout out to that guy, Jelly. Oh,

Oh, that was just a jelly, yo. Yo, he fucking inspired. Child joke, child joke, child joke.

Shout out to Jelly Roll, man. On fire. He was in a commercial. That was sick. Super Bowl commercials are great. Obviously, that's my favorite, but also good commercials this year. Everything about Super Bowl was great this year. Jelly killed it, man. Shout out to Jelly. Just crushing it. He's fire. I love you, brother. Yeah, he's got to go see his kid. For real, he's got to go. I have a child I have to go see. He's got to go. Nah, he's getting cigarettes, bro. He'll be back in about 18 years. Peace! You saw Larry David fight Elmo? How crazy.