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Here it is.

Surprise! We got Madeline again! Woohoo! For y'all that don't know, this is my twin sister. We go way back. Shut the hell up. We literally shared a womb together. Oh, me and this girl, we have stories to tell. No, the TAs is me and Madeline, we ate our triplet in the womb. Have I ever told you that? I think you've said it at least 8 million times. And it's a lie, because we didn't do that. Wait, do you actually... I've...

bleep that, my brother ate his twin in the womb. Apparently, they theorized that he did. I was really terrified as a kid because did you ever watch Kate Plus 8? I actually didn't. That fucking belly was disgusting. I thought

having like twins, triplets, like quadruplets, all of those things. I thought that was like more common than not for some reason. I think just because there were like, there was an era where there was like eight million. It's like engorged in red. Ow. I mean, beautiful. Ow. Like, I guess I feel like I have to say that's beautiful or I'll get in trouble. But it looks like it really hurts. No, it does hurt. Like, you know what I wish I could do for every woman in my life?

I really, what I wish I could do is I wish I could go behind them and pick their boobs up off their body and just let them walk around without boob weight just so they could feel what it feels like to be like no back strain from their boobs. Such a good idea. I would love to do that. It actually is pretty magical. Has Steven done that? Yeah, whenever I was breastfeeding and they were like extra. That's also something I see that I'm like, that looks like it hurts. Does it hurt? Again, as a kid, I was like, oh.

so sweet and then hearing adults talk about it I was like wait what like wait it hurts when you're like engorged yeah but I didn't like actually that word engorged

I didn't actually like breastfeed, but I pumped. And yeah, it's a very odd sensation. You were a super milk producer, huh? An overproducer is what they call it. But yeah. Do you have any breast milk left? Like, did you keep any for? So I do. I have like 500 ounces, but it's all expired now. And I just will not dump it out because it like hurts my heart. It was so much work. Hold on.

hold on to something like that. It was so much work that I just like haven't got to it. I will eventually. Steven really wants me to clear out our freezer. You should get it evaporated. I'm not even kidding. Can't you make it into diamonds? Get it evaporated and get a cute little

Make it into diamonds. Well, you can make like a breast milk ring. You still need to make that. You can make a semen ring too. That's fucking disgusting. You can. That's like disgusting. There's way too much of that around. Like there's no, like Madeline's milk is her milk. Like that's the only Madeline. Weren't you like giving milk away to people? I did, yeah. At one point because I had so much in my freezer. Madeline's a giver.

Yeah, because I guess there are people who can't like produce enough breast milk because it really is just like you either have that genetic makeup that you make enough. It really sucks when like my milkers, that's what I call the women that let me suck on their boobs for their milk as a 27 year old.

Sucks when they run out and I have to get a new producer because the flavor is always different like I can tell the difference between coke and dr Pepper if they had a coke or dr. Pepper that day no it is really crazy Madeline that you were making breast milk and your diet was chicken and dr. Pepper and like you were creating life yeah and Luna is literally one of the smartest kids I've ever interacted with I'm not kidding like I

-We were crying in the car. Unironically, we were tearing up talking about Luna and you and Steven in the car to pick up the toilet. -To me, y'all are such a little trio. It's so sweet. -Yes. -Yes. -Oh, God.

But Luna fucks with me, I think, more than Drew at this point. It's kind of a wrap. It's a wrap for Drew. Yeah. And Josh. She likes Josh more. No, I'm cooked. I'm cooked next to Josh. She's obsessed with Josh. It's because she associates it with Blue's Clues. I think so. I think so, yeah. She hears the name and she's like...

if you don't know Luna. I'm in the presence of a celebrity. Yeah. Luna loves Blue's Clues and there's a new character like obviously you guys probably know Steve. Oh Luna's Madeline's baby mind you. Oh yeah. Yeah. Y'all probably know Steve. Well it goes Steve, Joe and now there's Josh. Well whenever we told Luna like oh yeah

Josh will be here. Luna's face like lit up because she literally thought it was going to be Blue's Clues Josh since we just got back. Mind you, I was going to say, mind you, she met everyone. Like Elsa, all of her favorites. So whenever, yeah, she thought that. Oh. Was it following me?

I don't know. I'm really scared. Oh, God. Wait, just ignore it. Let's ignore it. If it falls, it falls and we'll cry. We should have had Steven. I know. Steven's like fixing up our house right now. He's literally so masculine. That's what I'm saying. Like being around y'all this weekend has genuinely kind of greened me out in a way where I'm like, oh my God, y'all got it. Like you got the miracle jeans. Like literally the fact that no one has to...

you're so used to worrying about like one of our friends partners being left alone and all of us are like, what are they going to do? Like, what are like, you can't kind of leave that like guy alone. Like don't leave that guy alone. And you were asking, Oh, what's Steven going to do? Like to fill his time, bitch. He's a guy. He's a real man. Oh, fuck.

And they say they want me to be nice to men. See what happens? It really is. And you were given for the first time in your life. You gave a compliment to a man. And they say men only get flowers at their funeral. But look, I tried to give you your flowers and look, they didn't attack. So are we going to leave it? Oh, wow.

Honestly, yeah. Yeah, I literally, I can't. Y'all already put it up. I cannot deal with that. For context, every time we walk in here, this shit is like this. Every time. Well, hopefully Steven will fix it before we leave and y'all won't have to worry about it. I love he feel bad because when he was first offering to fix stuff around the house, I was like, no, I can't think of anything. But then when I really got to thinking, I was like. Toilet, handles. I like my toilet, my handles, my doorknobs. I don't like my doorknobs anymore. I don't like any handles on anything in my house.

thing in my mind. Hang the mirror in the foyer. I'm like, oh my god, let's do a new chandelier. No, we really were in this store and we were like, maybe Stephen can install the chandelier. We were like, okay. We kill him because we pressure him into doing electrician work. Yeah.

Okay, you were in Disney for four days. Talk about that. That was crazy. Madeline got flown out, flewed out by Disney. Yeah, so we got invited by Disneyland. It was so fun. It was Luna's first time ever going to Disney, and it was everything we could have thought of, dreamed of. It was so fun. She loved Elsa, Ariel. She's still talking about it. Wait, can we talk about the bunk-ass Ariel for a second? Okay, so...

Madeline or Luna met two aerials. On two separate days. Yeah, on two separate days. And one of them was like fierce, like Contessa, like eight down, like was like the girl. Was really living in her aerial fantasy. Yeah. And then the next one was like Haggerty, mean, had been doing the job for at least 20 years. She was not mean.

mean but definitely was not as excited the love of the game maybe has faded a little bit the game has worn on her it gets yeah it gets there like we all got there yeah but yeah she but she was still nice to luna apparently it just was a little different vibe but it was so confusing like luna had the

first experience that we have as adults when you see someone you thought you got along with and then you carry in that energy and when it's not received, you're like, okay.

Okay, like I wish I want so badly like we have all this weird chat GBT shit. We need to figure out how to read the minds of toddlers who can like speak as much as Luna but can't like verbalize get it all the way out. So I'm like, oh my God, I wonder how often she's like, I don't know if you saw her, but I think it was yesterday and you were there but she was like sitting there and like froze for a second because I could tell she was trying to figure out how to tell us and she was going.

And then she, like, couldn't think of it. And then she kind of, like, lost her train of thought. And, like, it started to freak me out. I was like, oh, poor girl. Like, she wants to tell us something so bad. I'm scared of her now. I'm scared of Luna. Why? I'm literally terrified of her. Why? The way she was staring into that fire last night. Oh.

No, she was plotting, y'all. Like, it was fucking creepy, bro. She was mesmerized by the fire. No, she was plotting. She wasn't mesmerized. She was thinking about how she can kill all of us. Oh, don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. I feel like she would spit. No, I feel like she would only kill you. I think so. Yeah.

But maybe it's something you've done. No, we can't even talk about her negatively because it literally makes me cry because I literally love that child so much. Like, it's my own. Like, I literally have said that a million times. But, like, literally, I want to protect her. I want to save her. I know. I love her so much. But also, I love the place I get to hold in people's lives where, like, I get to be cool, fun person. You're my wife. And I get none of the anxieties of being a parent. Because I was, like, ranting to Madeline about it. I would be...

My kids would feel like they were in the pentacle. Someone's going to make fun of me crazy because I can't say it, but it's like that one prison tower that has a watchtower. I would be the watchtower guard for my kid and they would hate me. -I'd let my kids smoke weed starting at four. -When does Luna get to smoke?

you know i i don't think i thought about that yet yeah i think you should start thinking because she's probably gonna get on amazon and get a cart by the time she's here the fortnight cart do you ever get scared of like that because you did you see like the highlighter vapes and all that oh yeah we did yeah like well then what what like yeah and it's just gonna get like more sneaky they're gonna start having we're gonna be old heads yeah i mean we kind of technically are to to like

anybody with an iPhone because they're so used to see they've seen everything already so that's why we seem so old like anything we reference is like holy shit I was learning about that when I was doing my like 2015 deep dive like it's like how we felt about the 90s like I remember when I first saw the bitches re-rocking the chokers I was like

I was like, "Oh my God, I hate this 90s shit. It's so old. Ew." But then Tumblr made it a vibe and I was like, "Okay." You're like, "Here you go." I'll follow. All I hear in school is Ebola. Yeet. Bruh. What's nine plus 10? 21? Ebola. My anaconda don't Ebola. Ebola. About a week ago. Yeet. Yaga.

Y'all remember Yaga? Yes, they do. Unfortunately, because you would pull my hair. Yeah. What other bad shit? You would be evil. Like, from what Drew said, like, you were evil as fuck, bro. No, I was really dark-sided and twisted. You were the demon. No, I was really bad. Like, I made Madeline not breathe for two minutes. Yeah.

But like I wasn't like choking her, but like I like karate chopped her throat. You didn't mean to do it. You weren't being mean. You were being funny. Thought you were being funny. Famously, like always. That's like he thought he was being funny. Me every time I speak. Wait, so you act like he just on purpose whacked you? Yeah, I was like leaning back. I don't know if I was like stretching or what, but he just came up and went.

Like that, and I literally did not breathe. That is some shit I would do. I started like... He thought I was joking at first, and I was like...

Like I literally can't, yeah. Did we talk about when you passed out on the last episode? I don't remember. If we talked about it, don't tell us. I might have, yeah. But I'll let you say it. I might have. I don't remember if we did or not. But yeah, one time, I don't know if I was like 14 or 15 or what, but I was upstairs and I like came out of my bathroom and I was just like really lightheaded while I passed out and I hit my head on like this thing

On a Bowflex. I hit my head on something. I don't remember what it was. It was the Bowflex machine. Yeah. That workout machine. My dad swore to God he was going to start working on it. That was upstairs for years. That and a tanning machine that was literally never used. I think we played on it more. Yeah, I was going to say we would play hide and seek and hide inside of it. But I remember when he got that shit, we were not allowed to touch the Bowflex. Well, your head did.

Yeah, it did. It did. And I like fell or whatever. And Drew was walking out of his room right at the same time. And he just kind of like looked over at me. And I remember I could like see him, but not see him. And I couldn't talk. And I'd literally just watched him walk downstairs. And I'm like laying there, like whatever, like kind of passed out, but like still like coherent a little bit. And

And then all of a sudden. She was literally frozen. No, I literally just watched your like silhouette go and I like couldn't. I like saw you laying on the ground. Like I literally saw it. What did you think? She was just playing? Yeah, he thought I was messing around. Well, he goes downstairs and he was like, hey, Madeline never came downstairs. It's kind of weird. And so then he like told, I could hear you talking to dad and saying like, hey, I think Madeline might have passed out or something. So then you go upstairs. Also, him not getting up to go look.

Yeah. Well, I heard a thump. I heard a thump. And I, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you and dad, I think, came up there. Maybe mom. Someone came up there. And then we went to the hospital and I was fine. Nothing was wrong. I just randomly passed out. I don't think I. What were you doing before? Do you remember? I don't know. I was in the bathroom. You were in the bathroom. Yeah. Maybe I stood up too quick. I have no idea. But I just remember walking out. Taking a big old shit in there. Yeah. All the blood was in your feet. Right, Kai? Yeah.

Yep, absolutely. Kai's on his phone as fuck, by the way. That's why he had such a low response rate. It's because he was like, he's not a fart. No, I was actually doing some research because I'm using a different interface that everybody gets a mic and I was just making sure that everything was good and it is. So I'm actually like, you know that meme of the guy that's the soldier like protecting the child while he sleeps? Oh, with the knife? So I'm the soldier. Yeah, that is true. Kind of funny because you're on your tics. Oh, well, that's actually... Clock it! Clock it!

I can just cut that. That's fine. Clock it. Bro, I'm trying to think of, I don't think I ever fainted or anything as a kid and I wasn't the clumsier kid, but my little sister would fucking smash her head open at every waking moment. We had a d*** like that. Her nickname to everyone was d***. Do you remember? I'm not going to say her name out loud, but she just got a DUI like two weeks ago. Are you good for c***? What? No one knows d***.

I can't say that. But what if they're watching this?

i don't give a i just oh that's something else i also went through my phone and prank called every single like person from my hometown that i literally haven't spoken to in over a decade and i just called all of them with my real raw number raw number but i would like i called all of them and 90 didn't answer but i was bored as that day and like a couple did but i left all of them voicemails and i was like

hey, like, I really need you. I need to talk to you. Like, we need to talk. Like, something's going on. Like, I need to talk to you. And I, like, we'll bleep the names. All of those people. Like, I was McKenna Markovic. They called you back? Or those are who you love? No one called me back, but I was so sick. I don't give a fuck about me. Actually, no. Oh, my God. One of the people, the most popular kid in school, that kid. Oh, I'm so sorry.

His number called me back and he was like, hey, are you looking? His number called me back. Yeah, he was like, hey, are you looking for so-and-so? And I was like, yes. And then I was like, he was like, your voicemail was jarring. Are you okay? And I was like, we have video of all of this, by the way. This guy was like so sweet. Aw, that's actually really nice. He was like, do you need someone to talk to? Like, is everything okay? Like, and all this shit. And I was like, yeah, I'm okay. Thank you for like checking in on me. And I just like. All right.

- Yeah, but then I also called Rebecca Black and

Acted like she was my cousin and it was her wedding soon and I was like, hey, what does your wedding and she was like I'm I don't have a wedding And we just wanted a reason to talk to her But no at the end at the end I was like wait, this is so I know he's brought up this phone call like four times and literally It's like we actually got along and like he was like we always get along but like we were keying on the phone No, we really were and she was in the airport and I could hear like flight boarding right now

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Oh, actually, no, I hate being in the airport and on the phone. I just don't like don't call me. I don't want to be on the phone. Oh, but at the end of the Rebecca Black call, I was like, this is like a synchronicity. Like this is kismet. Like this was meant to happen. Like we should hang out. And I genuinely meant that because I was like, I feel like we would keep. Remember, I mean, we do because we ran into her one time.

- At Air One in like 20 something, like a few years ago. And we all just sat down and had lunch for like two hours. - That's where we got our numbers because she was like, why do I have your number? And I was like, why do I have your number? - I think we were all on like literally the most joyful vibe ever. We're all just like dead sober in the middle of a Tuesday. Like, yeah, we need to do this. - We're best friends. We're best friends now. - Which is a gag, I love that. - Okay, what was I saying before I got distracted by my prank calls?

Like, what the fuck would we know? Because y'all are supposed to be listening to me. Bro, you went off on a tangent. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't fucking yell at me. You saw that, Kai. See, this is why I fucking hate women. They yell. Okay, I disagree with that part.

Kai agrees with that part. No, I don't. I know. He looked up from his text messages and he said, I agree with that part. No, my instinct kicked in and I defended women immediately. No, I don't remember what you were saying, bro. Like, I literally, I have no recollection. I'm like literally like shaking right now. Because you're so nervous. I'm so nervous. Madeline has a bunch of shit to talk about.

Oh, yeah. I do have some stories that I don't think we talked about last time. Like over the last like year, I've just been like, oh, when I would bring something up to Steven, like, oh my gosh, this happened. I would be like, that might be a good thing to say on the podcast to get Drew's reaction to it. I'm scared. It's not bad. I mean, they're funny. Okay. Yeah. Oh, bitch. Oh, bitch.

We were talking about this yesterday, the real reason why I fake killed myself. Oh, yeah. But I'll let you tell those first, and then we'll get to that one. Because that one, there's... I think we're finally brave enough to tell...

Y'all, the real reason why I sat on the floor with my pills. I really don't think we talked about it. Because I thought it was for attention. Like, it was just like he wanted, like, no. Well, famously, like, that is what it was. But there was a deeper meaning behind it. The reason why he went and did it. But I was too embarrassed. And I didn't want to tell anyone that that's probably what happened.

Like, why? We'll have to remember because we'll leave that little bit and y'all have to listen to the end challenge. You're so dumb. No, I'm a business extraordinaire. Oh, you're an entrepreneur. Yeah. Cow manure. Okay, I want to know one of the stories because I want to know if Drew is a badass kid. Give like a synopsis. Which like the? Yeah. Oh, well, no, these aren't like Drew being bad. These are like funny. Oh, okay. What is it? Okay, thank God. Yeah.

Okay, so the first one is he was actually a really good brother. This was a good brother move. I really wanted to do the talent show. Oh, we didn't talk about this.

Fuck. And I didn't want to do the talent show alone. I was in like fourth grade, but I really wanted to do my dance. Well, my dance was to the song Conga. Come on, baby. It's Conga. That song. So I really wanted a backup somewhat dancer. I wanted someone on stage with me. So we recruited Drew.

I wish there was footage out there. There is. There is. There is somewhere. And I... I'll insert it right here. I'm sure I can find it. Yeah, find it. I'ma buy the bar. I'ma buy the bar. I've been coming up. I've been coming up. I got so much lead. I've been getting stuck. I've been getting up. Cause I've been doing drugs. I've been doing this. I've been doing that. I've been riding quick. I've been riding flat. I've been really sick. I've been fucking bad.

I posted on Facebook asking if anybody from like our town had possibly recorded the talent show because I know somebody had to, but I wanted footage of Drew back there. My mom had used our bar stools and turned them into congos or conga. Yeah, congos. And wait, yeah, what is it called? Bongos. Bongos. And Drew's in the background while I'm dancing going...

Like, like fake. The entire two minutes of the song. You know what's crazy is that's kind of now like, like, like, yeah, like a tick he does. Like he literally, like literally when he's trying to be silly, he'll be like,

You guys, I'm a good brother. Yeah, that was really nice. A give and a take because I also probably within the same month chased you with a blade around the house. Or made me do something in exchange for you going up there. Exactly. I was at every one of your dance recitals too. Yeah. If you didn't have baseball. I loved your dance recitals. Really? Did you want to do it really bad? Yeah. Like a Troy Bolton? Yeah, I really wanted to. Did you actually? No, no, no, no. I was going to say, you have no rhythm in those bones. Yeah. Like there's no world where that was your core.

I don't have rhythm in my bones. What? You have something in your bones. Yeah, marrow. Okay, I'm like, next. I literally feel like when Luna was like, skip. Oh, yeah, Luna in the car yesterday got an ad and was like, skip, skip. Well, no, it was basketball. Oh, well, she was kind of tapped in for a second. Yeah, she was watching. I was like, Drew, you'd be proud. Luna's watching basketball right now because it was like an ad and she was just sitting there watching it. And then all of a sudden she goes...

I'm not kidding. I genuinely think she listens and she knows that we would find that funny. No, she knows. She takes such a while where I'm like, that...

- You're a little genius. - If she says like a bad word or something that she's not supposed to say and you like laugh, she like latches onto it and like knows and you just can't laugh around her. - It feels like you can't get her to say, that's kind of how one of my little siblings was. He still doesn't curse though. He like hates cursing, but as a kid,

he would admit that there have been times where he's cursed but you couldn't you couldn't pay him to curse like there's nothing you could give him to curse because it's just out of stubbornness because he thinks it's funny that adults want to hear him curse and he's like no bro okay so another thing again i don't know if you've talked about this y'all have been doing this for so long

I don't know what stories you have and haven't said, but I thought of the CC's pizza, how you got banned. I haven't talked about this. You haven't? I haven't talked about this. And this is bullshit. This is fucking bullshit. CC's fucking pizza. Fuck you. I'm banned for life. Wait, actually?

Oh, I was like, I don't feel like CC's has it like that. Like, I don't think they can ban people from life. In school, if you got A, B on a roll or more, like A on a roll, A, B on a roll, whatever, you got to go on a field trip one day to CC's. And if you didn't, you had to stay back at the school. CC's is like a pizza shop for the people that don't know. It's like a buffet style. Yeah. And that white pizza is so fucking good. The white sauce pizza. The Alfredo. Fuck, I need to get that. Is there one here? Yeah.

I think so. I don't know. I'm getting that tonight. I know there's CC's Pizza in Miami, but I haven't been in so long. Don't do that. That was a delicacy me and my family couldn't afford. Okay, keep going. And so, Drew, we got to go, and he...

He was like messing with one of his friends and you put like pepper all in his drink or something. I dumped an entire salt shaker and like 50% of a pepper shaker into his soda. Into his soda when he got up and the kid came back and it was like his best friend. So he wasn't like bullying the kid. Like if it was bullying, I would understand. But this was like his best friend. And it's also free refills challenge. So keep that in mind. Well, I.

you wasted about 20% of salt. Exactly. Or 20 cents worth of salt. Exactly. Yeah, so Drew did that and the kid drank it and he like freaked out. He didn't go tell the teacher. Yeah, he didn't tell the teacher. because he just got a straight dose of salt and pepper to the back of his throat when he was expecting like Dr. Pepper or some shit.

I don't give a fuck. Well, the teacher like came over obviously because he saw the kid like freaking out and Drew got banned and no longer could go on those. Because I think we would go every month. Yeah. Like it was like a monthly thing. It was bullshit. It was every six weeks that we would get to go. And so Drew got banned. And I was a honor roll every fucking time. Yeah, he was. And then he had to stay back at school. I would literally just so much bullshit. Yeah. Literally so much bullshit. Was it? No. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can't remember if I did. I stayed at his grandparents' house. He had like the craziest littlest pet shop collection. Oh my God, this girl I knew growing up had that too and I would hella take from her. Yeah, I wanted to steal from him so bad. Did I ever tell you that I stole from...

hmm yeah i literally stole his like exodia and like he i helped him look for it like he was like i literally that's crazy work actually no i can't lie that's classic that's classic oh yeah maybe it's over here i'm like i could have sworn i saw it like i swear i saw it right here no for the girls that know the exodia five card set is like really the creme de la creme hey i i would be shocked if like

what is that that's a littlest pet shop no that's a yugioh card but the littlest pet shop his sister had a crazy collection and we would go play with them because we were going to like a nascar race the day before or the day the next day and we had to wake up really early and we instead of playing like wwe or whatever like boys did we played with littlest pet shop i mean we were literally like eight years old too like we were old as fuck i mean yeah but

I would just take from that girl because she was... The girl who I would take from was like... That literally is the gay agenda. What? No, no, no, no. For you. Me forcing that kid to play with Littlest Pet Shop. Because you wanted to. I wanted to so bad. I wouldn't let you play with mine. Were you trying to make it like a boy game? Like, I don't understand why he had to be a part of it. I don't remember that. Or you just didn't want to play alone. Don't make me play alone. Yeah, I would play Littlest Pet Shop with this girl and she was really rich and this was the girl who...

I went going to her house. I was like, she actually was like now looking back. I don't think she was rich. But for me, she was a fucking millionaire. Like what? We had people like that. Yeah. We would go to and I was like, how the fuck do you have this? Like in what world? And I would take her shit and I didn't feel that bad because she would bully the fuck out of me, especially when my teeth started falling out because I have like crooked teeth and I had really crooked teeth and I used to. You have good teeth. Or I had braces, but like my teeth were. But still, yeah.

I think they look like shit.

My teeth are getting really slanted because I need to take my wisdom teeth out and I refuse. You haven't taken them out? No. Well, no, because if she gets them taken out, she has like a 50% chance of like losing all sensation in her face. Yeah, they fear mongered the fuck out of me. Like I went to get x-rays and they were like, oh my God. At first they were like, oh my God, you're like one of those patients who your nerve endings are like your nerves are really wrapped around your wisdom teeth. And they were like, that's fine though. And then when I got the full scan, they were like,

Oh, that is really close. And then I went to two dentists and both of them were like, it can be done. And like, this is more rare than not. But like, there is a chance. And we have to tell you that because you will lose like feeling because of like how much we're going to have to numb you. And with how much we're going to have to use, it might last a week. But we have had patients who like they never get certain feeling back because it probably wouldn't be worth it because like people don't get their teeth out all the time.

bro what i feel like wisdom teeth are like a scam in the dentistry world it's like yeah you have to i mean they hurt though but it was fun because i got like perks for like a week and i was like fucked up i was like highest shit um fuck i i think i'm gonna get my wisdom teeth out tonight let's go but you have to give me half of the perks

You're gonna have to buy them off of me, bitch. Don't play. No, speaking of nerve endings, one time I was like plucking my nipple hairs when I was really young. And there was a clear hair sticking out and I was like, oh, let me grab it. And I fucking yanked it out and it was like a seven inch nerve. Ah, dude, that's actually good.

It was a nerve and it hurt so bad. My nipple fell off. Also, okay, I think I might just make this a reoccurring thing because there are things I realized that were just things I got really scared of because of my OCD as a kid. And I used to think everybody got scared of it as much as I did when I would hear the news.

but my brother's close friend, when I was in like fourth or like third grade, they went on a trip and he came back and he had a tapeworm. And it was like a huge point of discussion. And I was so petrified because I was, I was like, we were, we were in his presence. We've always been in his presence. He gave us the tapeworm. Like in my head, there was no way. And like,

when i was using their bathroom i was so fucking scared i would like hold my pee in their house i think that might be a thing though is like don't use the bathroom after someone i think you're not supposed to but like a tapeworm but i don't know around me gave a fuck everybody was like being cautious around him but i think he had already gotten rid of it like i don't think my parents would have like let us all mingle if he actively had it wait why are tapeworms not a thing anymore

Like, I feel like it's the same thing as quicksand. I don't know, but as a kid, I was really... I would look up every time I got to a computer in, like, computer class or something, I would look up a tapeworm and see what they look like, and I was really convinced, and I, like...

I was so convinced I had a tapeworm like all the time. Like sometimes I would eat and still be hungry and I'm like, it's because of my tapeworm. It's literally my tapeworm. I can't keep eating because like I'm feeding the tapeworm and it's going to get huge. You can use the bathroom. You're just not supposed to play with someone's poop that has a tapeworm. So just don't do that and you'll be good. It's impossible for me though. Like that's literally the only reason why I go to the bathroom. That's really gross. So annoying. You can't poop. I know. Not something you do actually. I've stopped bitching about it though.

Yeah. Is your like, are you on a regular schedule or? We both kind of fell off. We don't talk to each other about like. Yeah. About movements. It's like not a thing anymore. Madeline, I guess it's because we don't share a bathroom for the first time in six years. Yeah. And I feel like we only shared it is because we would be like, oh, don't like chill and go. Yeah, chill. Damn, you, me and Josh shared a bathroom for like six years.

That's crazy. Yeah. It was lit. It was sweet. Aw. And we really never ran into like people trying to get in when we were in there. Yeah. We kind of had like all we we synced our cycles. But also we had two bathrooms but we didn't use one of them because the guy that broke into the house literally shaved his pubes dry shaved his pubes in the fucking shower and from that moment on it was cursed. Also as a storage unit. I was gonna say but also our

From Inya's storage unit. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Not too much on me and also not too much on the landlord because I'm tight with her and I like seriously like do love her. Wait, no one said anything. But she is crazy. No, I'm about to go in on her. She's crazy as fuck forever even saying that's a two bed. First of all, she said it was a two bed, three or a three bed, two bath.

Two bed, one bath. That's a two bed, one and a half. One and a toilet. And one of the bedrooms is a living room. And like it...

bitch, I am, I am too crazy of a person. I guess we left a lot of clothes by me, left a lot of clothes by the water heater. But to me, I hated showering in there because remember, I tried to make that bathroom alive for a long time. Um, but every time I showered in there, I was convinced that the humidity was going to make the water heater explode because they were in the same room. Um,

Which is probably not a thing, but like that's, I don't know. It just felt like that. It felt like that was going to happen. Also the window in there didn't shut. So everything you did in there, the window would rattle. And like every move you made felt like somebody was like coming around. A one mile per hour gust of wind would like literally like. Also the door didn't lock. So you had to pray nobody wanted to go downstairs. Like at any point you were in that bathroom because to get through that door, it's.

I miss that apartment, honestly. I can't believe Luna's been in there. She was, yeah. Oh, we need to get an updated photo before we leave. Of Luna in the chair? Yeah, it's degrading and she's growing. Aw. She's taking all this time. Madeline, I wanted to ask what is something that I do that pisses you off to this day? Oh, you should have asked me this a long time ago so I could think about it.

Think on it. We'll get back to it. I know what you do that pisses me off to this day. Oh my God. You've been waiting for this one. I have a list. I have a list. You bite. Tell me you. You bite. You bite.

She still bites. She bites. You bite him? Yeah, I do. I mean, shit. It's your motherly instinct. It's coming out. Every time Drew gets close to Luna, Madeline's like, ah, jaw. No, it's like, I'm not joking. She literally bites me. I mean, Josiah bites. Josiah literally does bite people. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, guys. Madeline does not bite. Madeline does not bite. I'm not going to put that on you. I stand by your rights and your wrongs because I'm not kidding. Like, that wouldn't change the way I look at you.

- I would look at you if I found out you actually bit him. - Yeah, if I actually did bite him. - 'Cause like honestly, I could see that. - I'm teaching Luna how to bite right now. I think it'd be good for her to bite other kids in school. - Yeah.

for a second please don't i was literally like trying to think about that there's always there's always a biter in the class no she's not the biter but i remember the biter in my class she did hit me for the first time on this trip oh yeah luna hit madeline sorry i'm gonna out luna but this was her first time but how can you know she's only two also you shouldn't out her that's like a

yeah problematic yeah she's actually and never like hit out of anger like we've gotten very lucky thus far and like also she's really doesn't throw your typical tantrums she's maybe done like one where she like tries to lay on the ground and won't let us pick her up but luckily she hasn't learned to like flailing the arms and legs and stuff like that yeah please don't

But the other day, we were trying to get her out of the bathroom, out of like Drew's bathroom because she was like messing with stuff in there. And she was angry with us. And she like looked at Steven, gave him like an angry face, and then literally came over across the bathroom to me and just went boom and hit me on the leg.

And me and Steven looked at each other and we were like, we've never had to deal with that. I would have cried laughing. I know. I would have fucked up so bad because I would have been like, bitch, what? Like, what? We never have dealt with that. So we like looked at each other and like panicked. We probably should have. She's learning it from somewhere, Madeline and Steven. It's you. Yeah, it probably is me. It's crazy that it's while we're here. Oh, man.

And it hits me. Yeah. Well, yeah. Duh. But she, me and Steven, we were like, we just kind of like paused for a second. And I was like, that,

I was like, you know, like fake cried. I was like, oh, you made mommy sad. And she looked at me with pure terror in her eyes and literally started bawling, like bawling, like tears out of her face. And we're like, it's okay. It's okay. Just say, I'm sorry. And so she was like, I'm sorry. And then I was like, do you want to put a bandaid on it? And so Luna, we play like we put fake band-aids on and she put a fake band-aid on where she hit me.

and then she was fine but she remembered it hours later yeah she heard us talking about it and she like she goes i make mommy sad i was like you did and like also i've always heard that like don't use that as like a tactic because kids don't care about your feelings at this age they don't know what a feeling is but luna has empathy

In that moment, she literally felt so bad for me. And it made me sad for her, though. Because I was like, I just made her that sad. No, it would have made me cry. But hopefully she doesn't hit us again. Don't throw a tantrum in front of her. Literally, I did yesterday when I was standing in front of the TV. And I threw a tantrum and threw myself on the floor. And then I think I scared her. And I felt so bad because I heard her talking. And then I heard her go silent. And she looked over and said, Anya?

Yeah, she literally... What does it matter? Madeline just shit herself. Madeline just shit herself. I caught it. She like ran over and then I just started like laughing and like smiling at her. Crying to be like, oh, it's just silly. And then she laid on the floor and was being silly and I was like...

I forget kids are like, she's at that point where she's cognitive enough to just see something someone's doing. And I'm like, yeah, she mimics everything, dude. It's crazy. It's so scary. It's actually not that crazy. Yeah. Like I mimic, I mimic shit too. Like, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you're comparing yourself to like a two year old. I mean, you're comparing yourself to like a two year old. Speaking of the little girl. Hey.

Oh my god, you are the cutest girl on the planet. She just woke up from a nap. Aw. Hi, girl. No, dude, you need to, like, actually finish it. There's, like... Honestly, can you take that one back out and then just... You actually are so sweaty. I know, there's no air condition up there. Oh, no, you can turn it on if you go into my...

- We're putting Steven to work. - See, I'm not getting our needs to dumb ass men. Like a man, I have had plenty of men be like, "There isn't any." I'm like, "Did you look for a no?" - She's so scared of Kai. - Yeah, I could fix that too. - Are you waking up? - Can you say hi? - She goes, "I slept good. I slept good." - Can you say hi, emergency intercom? - Yeah. Say emergency intercom. No. - Honestly, good. - Do you stink?

- Poop. - Aw, you pooped? - What? No, you didn't. - Peep peep. - Aw. - You're so cute. - That's literally Kai to me. - I pooped, I peep peep. - Look at what Enya found. Who is that? Is it Dora? - Little Dora. - Little Dora. - She's like, "What else you got?" - Adorable. - She's like, "Yeah, what else is over there though?" Like, "What?" She's gonna rob the store. - Luna, who do you like more right now, me or Drew?

You don't have to answer. I know. That's a good answer, baby. Good media train. Yeah, she's good. It's a good answer. Who do you like more, Luna, mommy or daddy? More. Yeah, who do you like more, mommy or daddy? Mom. Hey! No, I don't think she knows. No, she has no idea what she's saying. You love your mom and dad the best. She's just saying a rant. Steven's crying.

You were literally the cutest girl ever and you're so funny and smart. Can you see Kai? Can you say hi, Kai? Oh my God. I'm getting cool guys. You're the new Josiah. Oh yeah, we haven't talked about that. Yeah, Josiah, like we were on FaceTime with Luna one time and like Josiah just made his typical like scary. He was like 12 months old. Yeah, like his typical like scary Josiah face like,

Making just scary faces. And Luna like internalized that in that moment. She wasn't really scared in that moment, but like, but she did go silent. Yeah. She went like deadpan three or four months later. I'm like FaceTiming Josiah again with Luna in Luna.

freaks out when she sees Josiah like literally freaks out of the camera that's most people's reaction yeah to be fair but she was like Josiah was her first fear like for real I mean when she saw him she didn't really she wasn't bothered though but I guess he doesn't look as scary I really want him to do the face but I kind of feel bad like

Because I don't know if she'll forget at this point. Does that make sense? Yeah. It feels like if she saw that in person, every time she saw him, she would be scared. Thank you. Bye, Luna. Bye, Luna. Bye, baby. I love you. Luna, I love you. Oh, wow. Honestly, I love her. Steven, my bathroom's also kind of messed up at my house. I mean, if I'm already here, am I?

Yeah, it's like a hour drive. No, don't do that. Don't do this. Okay. Well, all right. Well, you can just think about it. Well, because that's for us. It's different. Kai doesn't get that, bro. You guys should at least turn the AC on for him. That's all I'm saying. No. That's all I'm saying. You should at least... I'm not going to cuss. Okay. Because Luna's in the room. Okay. But I'll say it once she leaves. All right. I'm not afraid. Little Dora. Bye, Luna. Bye, baby. Thank you, Steve.

She really liked watching Paw Patrol earlier. You have no idea what that little girl means to me. I would literally take a bullet for her, and I actually am literally hurt that I'm not her godfather. You won't let me. I don't have one yet, so... Put me down. Okay. I'll be the godmom. I don't know if you want to take that responsibility on. I'm ready. Madeline, this is something I thought about, and I have an answer. What is, like...

some shit we did as a family that like we thought was normal, but turned out to be like really fucking weird. Like we talked about the poop knife on the last episode where like when, for those of you who don't know,

We were taught from a very young age that when we're taking craps, that by every toilet in the house, we would have like a butter knife and we would cut the crap off instead of pinch it off. So we would just like cut it and it would fall into the toilet. And then we would obviously wash the knife because it's like sanitary to do that. But when I went to college and I found out that people...

I didn't use poop knives. Like I had a poop knife in the dormitory that I would carry in my like little case to the bathroom. Yeah. And oh my God, it was mortifying. People are like, why do you keep bringing a knife in there? And I was like, yeah, where are y'all's poop knives actually now that I think about it? I use poop scissors. Yeah. I clips it. Might be a, yeah. I don't use a poop knife anymore, guys. Don't worry. But I did until I was like 18. Yeah.

No, you did it until you were like 22. Yeah. Because it was hard to like, it was hard to retrain my sphincter. Do you let the poop just fall into the water or do you catch it first? I catch it with my hand. Right. Yeah. That's the correct way. I hate the splashback. Well, to answer your question, I, again, you should have asked me this a while ago so I can think about it. This is an interview, Madeline. You're supposed to answer on the spot.

-Well, these are like-- -It's just jarring that Luna's more media trained than you. -Yes, exactly. -Yes, very true. -No, they are such like you're asking her to jog her memory in this fucking moment. Damn, bro, you're not even taking her down memory lane. You're not setting her-- -I just took her down memory lane with a poop knife. What are you talking about? -I also have Soil golf tournament in Chipotle. Also, if we wanted to talk about the George Strait concert,

oh i don't think i've ever talked about the george straight concert there is also moving clothespins in kindergarten i don't remember that one well it's just in general like when you would get in trouble you would have to go up in front of the class i don't remember that actually you don't i remember it was that chart of like it would have it was apples right colors and you'd have to go or ours oh yeah sometimes they were i remember having to move my apple from a green to a

yellow. You know what you did? I was so unlike you because you were like goody two. It was I can't remember who it was. I literally was just talking about who it was because I saw him on Facebook the other day and I was like that guy made me move my freaking apple. And like I still remember the because that's the only time I've ever really gotten in trouble in school. And it was because he would not stop talking to me.

I had to go up in front of the entire freaking class. We both did. Was it the kid that ate Elmer's glue? No, it wasn't him. It was... Do you remember what he did in the lunchroom? What? He like ate a jug of Elmer's glue and then like he would literally drink glue and eat crayons. Crayons, yeah. Like he literally would just do that. There's always that kid. There was a kid you could pay a dollar to eat anything.

And I mean like literally anything. Okay, see, that's crazy. At least this kid had a hustle to his game. He literally was like jerking off in the cafeteria at one point. Yes. Someone check home. Dude, I...

I wonder what people say about us. Like Madeline and Drew, like, oh my God, when they used to do this in first grade. Mine is remember when Drew farted in front of the class. That was mortifying. In third grade. Yeah. That literally, I'm not kidding. I didn't fart in front of another human being.

Was it on accident? Yeah. When we first met Drew, he would get so mad if somebody farted. Like you were so prudish with your body in that way. Like that was the only lie you couldn't like. Farts were just so disgusting and it would make Drew so mad. I have my reasons. It's third grade and we also didn't have like a farting family. Like people's families like fart in front of them and it's funny. Like ours, like we're like,

That was off limits. One time, Jared farted in... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. He like farted in his hand and then cupped it over my face. And then I literally projectile vomited into the kitchen garbage can.

And from that moment on, farts were not fun. Well, wait, there's also video proof of Jared farting on me while I'm sleeping on the couch. And I'm literally like six years old. Dude, our brothers were fucked up to that. I can't even get on them too much because I was like with Natalie and Leo, bro.

there was a period where they were cognitive enough where they would get annoyed, but you knew like it wasn't the worst. But just to see your little sibling have such a visceral reaction to something that is like so stupid was so funny, bro. You used to spit on your siblings pillows. Okay, no, no, no.

Also, I need to clarify that was only one of my sisters and me and her. We have gotten through it, guys. There's no more spitting on the pillows. We're grown now. Now, if it gets there, we're like, I want to slap the fuck out of you. We need to stop speaking to each other. Respect. Did we talk about jackass last time? I think you did. Yeah. I mean, I've talked about it before, but our brothers used to like roll us down like steep hills. Yeah.

They would be in like wagons. Yeah, wagons and trash cans. And we would be like all cut up and bruised. And they recorded all of it. Well, I wasn't really a part of that. I was left out as...

I mean, I have my older sister too, but I was like five years younger than her. Six years. So I was always left out. And we also called you Harry Ape. Yeah, no, Chewbacca. Chewbacca. Chewbacca. And you know, ugliest girl in the world when you look at that picture. Oh yeah, we did talk about this one for sure. Yeah, I know that. So fucked up, dude. I don't know if I had anything like that for... Yeah, y'all.

Y'all were low-key me. Like, dude. I drama blocked all of that. No, that's like brother shit now, right? It's true. No, I mean it is, bruh. Well, okay. Also keep in mind, I was the same age as Madeline, so I wasn't really leading the charge. I was just joining in and being cool with my brother. Ew, that fucking computer room. Yeah. Do you remember what mom's password was? You don't remember our family computer's password? No.

Come on. If I say it, you're going to be like, what? Give me the first letter. F. Was it fuck? Fuckhead7. Yeah, fuckhead7. Because mom was apparently mad at the people setting up the computer or the Wi-Fi. And so she made that the password. That's what we were typing in at like age six. Three years old. But again, our mom and dad were awesome. But...

A little too awesome in the sense of letting our six-year-old type. Letting us do whatever the fuck we wanted to do. Bro, I mean, I was getting up to get in my house. Also, I was one of the kids who was stealing medicine. So, like, my family always had to hide medicine because I would go in the fridge and take it. And, like...

then my little siblings became those kids and it was so fucking annoying to like find them drinking a bunch of random medicine out of the fridge. Like, are you supposed to even keep medicine in the fridge? That's still something I don't really. Some of them are, yeah. There's like some that need to be refrigerated.

See, I was the kid. But that's like antibiotics type stuff. It wasn't like. My family was putting like Dramamine and NyQuil and DayQuil and shit in the fridge. I don't know about that. I don't think it's like bad for it. I doubt it. Probably makes it last longer. I guess maybe my family does it also because it's hot as balls in Miami. So if you like leave it out, it's like. Also, I was the kid. I was the kid stealing medicine when I was 17. Yeah.

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Are you about to fall asleep? He's losing it. Did you eat something? No, I didn't. I still can't believe you just can't eat. I ate a chocolate chip protein pancake. Nice. Yeah. Is that what that macro stuff was? Mm-hmm. Sorry, I'm trying to see if I have anything written down. Have you thought about abnormal shit we did? I think the food one was a good one, but...

No, because I've been talking. Actually, no. Our entire family. We would bring Mormon kids to our fucking house. I know, yeah. And turn them out. We would give them soda. Yeah, I had a friend. And all of them are ex-Mormons now.

by the way. I had a friend that, yeah, she loved coming over to our house because it was like free reign. Like she was like able to drink all these sodas. She was off the wall when she drank those sodas. But like, yeah, she got to be a kid. And she's cool as fuck still. She is now. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I loved her, obviously. She was my best friend. She's like literally one of the only like liberal people from Granbury.

Yeah, and hardcore about it. She's very vocal. Yeah, she's real as fuck. Because y'all gave her a soda. You unleashed her. It's like that Drake Sprite commercial that actually happened to her. It opened her mind. That was back when Sprite was actually crazy. It actually did those kind of things to your mind. Yeah, I did think about some unconventional things, which also I don't know because I do hear more about... I do hear more about...

like kids talking about this, but like the stuff we were watching as children, um,

I like now being a parent, I'm like, what? Like dad let us watch that. I was, so you wouldn't be like, how old were you? And I was like, oh, I was like seven. And I was like, oh my God. We were watching like people get like, like jigsaw, like literally like legs getting ripped off and shit. Like as like six year olds, like it was crazy. And then we also, um, I was talking to like one of my friends, like still really good friends to this day. Um, and,

he was like, yeah, like I remember the first time I came over to your house, like,

we watched Jaws and it was to this day, he doesn't get in the ocean because he's scared of sharks because of that movie. Cause we were also like six years old. And then the second time he came over, we were watching a movie that had boobs in it. And like my, me and Hunter were like sitting like behind the couch watching. And then my dad knew we were watching and like the boobs came on the screen and my dad just paused it and turned around and said,

Did your parents let you watch this? And he was like, yes. And then like just kept watching it. Like it was crazy. And his parents definitely did not like it. Yeah. I mean, that's when I went over to my God family's house. My parents were kind of strict about like certain things. Like I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies. So I still didn't watch a lot. But now I'm a baby when it comes to any kind of like gore, anything like it's disgusting to me.

Um, but my God family who lived across the street, they were like real horror fans. Like they had all of like the nightmare and Elm streets, like scream, saw final destination. They would always watch it and I would hear them talk about it. So like any scene I knew about from those movies is because I would listen to them talk about it. And then when my friends would talk about it, I would act like I knew, but yeah,

they knew obviously my parents didn't let me watch that but my older sibling got to watch it and i would try to sneak around but they would always catch me bro like they did not play like i barely and they wouldn't let me watch scary movie with them and that one really hurt my feelings because i knew scary movie i was like that's not even a scary movie it's just like funny yeah but then my my god siblings would let me watch it with them and i was like literally one of my earliest memories like i i

It was in Viejo house. Like how old were we? We were like two. We were like two. Yeah. I have a memory. Pushy three maybe. Yeah. I have a memory of me waking up and all of the older siblings and dad were sitting on the couch. And I remember like toddling into the living room and seeing the TV and they were playing Mortal Kombat on the TV. Yeah.

And I remember just like bug-eyed watching like Mortal Kombat, like people just getting ripped to shreds. And then Sam saw me and was like, Drew's been watching us. And then dad picked me up and like ran me back to the room. But like I like had escaped the crib or some shit. But like I literally like remember like my journey down the hall. Like that's one of that one. And then another really early memory I have is walking into the house that we grew up in.

Cimarron and walking into that upstairs room that had the pool table in it and seeing just floor to ceiling presents like wrapped all up the walls for the family that lived there before us when we were like touring the house I remember that I was so jealous and I thought that's what our Christmases were going to look

like and our christmas tree was never up there yeah but our christmas we had lit after christmas like we had like our christmases were fucking santa went all out for us no like they they cooked like remember we christmas yeah getting the weed oh my god they said weed christmas i was like damn your parents for real didn't give a fuck no i need to make it very clear like our parents

were great. They were perfect. They raised good children. Yeah. But a lot of the time I had a lot to do. But I feel like that's most parents sadly. Like most parents even the best ones their kid is gonna have something to say. Like cause there's always it's just too funny. Like what? Because even seeing you guys with

I feel like going into adulthood, something I had to just swallow was looking at my parent and just knowing this is a person who is given a responsibility far out of their realm too early. They're stunted. We're all stunted, blah, blah, blah. And it's our first time. Everyone's first time living. Yeah, everyone's first time doing it. And it's so funny seeing y'all. Y'all do such a good job with her. It's not my first time doing it. But there are moments where I step back and I'm looking and I'm like, this is so funny because these two people are dumb.

But dumb the way I find all my friends to be dumb. Because I'm like, I've literally known you for long enough to see you be so silly. But you're a mom now. The duality. I don't remember what point it was, but realizing that my parents aren't like...

Like super geniuses. Like I'm not calling my parents stupid, but like I literally thought. They're not the superheroes that we like literally thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just people too like us. Yeah, I mean my mom. In a good way. My mom is pretty close to a superhero. Yeah, yeah. Pretty damn close. Yeah, my parents are. She saved my life a couple times. Mom saved my life.

- I also saved your life. - That's true, but you caused me to wanna kill myself. Should we get into it? - Wait, yeah, what was the reason? Wait, first off, I wanna say to the like being scared and stuff or like watching scary stuff,

our parents wondered why we were like 11 years old still sleeping in their room it was because my dad would let us watch Chucky like so freaking young he would put Chucky dolls at the top of our stairs see Chucky dolls at the top of our I'm still like terrified to this day of Loki Chucky yeah and he'd

foot chuggy dolls at the top and then my mom would like get so fed up because we were like terrified of it so my dad or my mom threw it away well my dad got it out of the trash can and put it back at the like my mom's like watch me like we're throwing him away he's not gonna be here my dad got it out again and put it back on the stairs so we were all annoying because she set him up for the perfect slam dunk yeah and he executed it yeah yeah because my dad is like a fucking troll because I would be the

same way like I think at this point now I'm much more cautious but like oh my kids are getting trolled I would troll the fuck I still do it to my siblings like I can't I try so hard not to do it to Luna because I'm like more aware but I'm like it's so easy to just lie to them right now like they can literally you can say anything and they're like what yeah

Oh, Aluna did see my vape on the floor when she was passing by. And because it's a childlike color, her eyes were drawn to it. And she looked down at it and she didn't touch it. She just goes, what that? And like really low. And I was like, no, no, no, no.

no, no, no. And she went to go reach for it. And all I can think is I'm like, bro, it really does look like a toy. It's the first time in my life I have to think about leaving it around. Cause I'm like, there is a literal child. Also, I have told that story on this podcast, like five different times. And I'm not kidding. You literally said it the exact same way I've said it. Like, yeah, like literally verbatim. Like it's so, it was, it was traumatizing. Like people don't realize. And then when we like, cause I remember seeing that Chucky again on the stairs and I was like, well,

I'm like frigging terrified. It was so good. And then singing mom and dad telling us to sing fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck to the cable guys. And they did not think it was funny. And then mom and dad. Not the right obvious. Mom and the cable guys did not think it was funny. So mom and dad got mad at us. And then we're like, why are you doing this? Why did you do that? It's so funny.

In front of them gaslighting us and we're like, what? You told us to sing it. Again, we have to reiterate. Mom and dad were awesome. They did really good jobs, especially because twins, twins would be too funny. Especially a boy and a girl twin, it's literally the traveling talent show. I'm so happy. I would make my kids learn dances, choreos, the two twins who talk over each other. I would have my twins doing that.

I would fucking hate. I would hate for us to be boy, boy or girl, girl. Yeah, there would be so much competition. Oh, my God. I would have been terrible because you're very competitive to one time. Madeline, like you remember the basketball game?

Madeline was fucking psycho. She's very demure, very put together, like chill girl. When I was in basketball. She was angry. You were angry. You were violent. I would out to get everyone. She would push people over. I would elbow people in the nose. I was mad, dude. Oh, yeah. It was crazy. And then you broke your wrist or your elbow. My elbow, yeah. Karma got its case. It's giving a take. A yin and a yang. Yeah, yeah.

Right. Well, did you think anything else on what I do that pisses you off? I'm dramatic. You always say that. That's the go-to. That's the first thing that came to mind. But yeah, just being dramatic. I don't know. There's really not anything else, honestly. I feel like you're a pretty good brother.

I am a good brother. You really are. You are. I think you are. You really are. That's all he wanted to hear. I know. He was like, oh, no, there's nothing. There's nothing. Oh, I can think of a few things. No, honestly, which I don't live with him. True, true. If I lived with you... What's yours in you? Being OCD and needing to clean everything. Like, yeah, but the way he does it is so like, oh, my God, look at me rolling my eyes. Like, it's so like... Sorry the house is spotless all the time. Literally...

finding my things in little piles where I'm like, it would have made so much more sense to just leave this where it was. Cause I'm not like taking off my shoes and like throwing them across the room. They're usually where I see shoes or like, I'll put them in a corner or whatever. I do leave shoes around, but Drew does this thing where randomly he just like becomes fed up and he just like, we'll go around the house and he's cleaning. But what that means is literally grabbing me and Josh's stuff and taking it to our room and being like, pfft.

And a pile right in front of our doors. And I'm like, this looks much worse. He did make sure to tell me earlier two or three times that he cleaned the kitchen. He was like, I'm cleaning the kitchen. Yeah, that's clearly his big thing. Like, he doesn't move in silence. Like, everybody will know what you're doing. I am not the she in lasagna, babe. No, it's literally loud. Everybody's going to hear me. It's like, my flowers, my flowers.

where are they where are they and you get them i run it i run a tight ship and you either can handle it or you can't and like it's my fatal flaw that you are a freak out you're you're literally you are the biggest crash out i know like yeah crash out last night oh not just like and you've seen me oh you've seen me go through it but drew is like such a drama queen but i've learned to like

You learn how to figure it out. I grew up with a lot of drama queens. Like all of my siblings were very like... Can we all agree also that Kai is such a bitch? What? Yeah, I was going to think that. Yeah, I was feeling that. Where did that come from? Where did you come from? From heaven. I'm like an angel. No, Kai is really godsend. We were talking about Kai the other day. Me and Anya were. We were saying how we missed you.

- Oh my gosh! - He's the coolest girl in the world! - You're so cute, Luna. Do you like my glasses? - Yeah. - Thank you. - Yeah, put 'em on. Is she pretty? Is she so beautiful? - Yeah. - What about me, Luna? Am I beautiful? - Oh. - Again, I need to train. - I just like she said it's me. There's like a joy in her heart.

Yeah. The second one wasn't genuine. Luna, I love you. I literally want to pinch her. I love you. It's like so bad. I want to like... Can I have a high five, Luna? It's called love aggression. Yeah, it actually does have a name. I love you. Luna, you make me so aggressive. I want to squish you. I want to stomp on you. Do you want to go sit with Dew? You're a crazy girl. Do you want to go sit with Drew or Inya? Sit with Inya. Luna, I'm so hungry I could eat Dew.

He's out. Oh, I wish y'all could stay longer. I know we were talking about that today. We were sad that you're leaving tomorrow. And then he was like, why don't they just extend their flight? And I was like, they have a toddler. Yeah. I was like, stay. And then I was like, yeah, I guess we didn't have Luna with us. Maybe.

But also I know she's like the star of the show. Like she's the reason why. No, I thought that because when we were all in the living room last night, if I didn't get the suds feeling, I started to feel like I was getting the suds. So I went upstairs. I got a bit sad. But like when we were all in the living room, I was like, damn, us all hanging out is so vibe. It's a vibe. Where were you? Showering. Oh, yeah. You were gone for a long day. I was showering. Yeah. I did the everything shower.

That's kind of what I was getting up to and then I was gonna start cleaning and I was like, oh my god, seriously, if I get locked in my bathroom cleaning one more time this year, I'm gonna freak out. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What was I gonna fucking say? Oh, we were talking about how we missed Kai. Oh, okay.

Who is we? You keep saying we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we

And this is gonna fall if you keep talking about it. They're not dating. Oh, yeah divine intervention Maybe something good guys. They're not dating. I just want to make that very clear. They are not seeing each other Drew and Kai however, let's I'm also not dating Kai but in yen Kai or I tell people that I'm dating drew drew doesn't claim me in years not on ozempic and Kai is not dating in you know, yeah, I

Leave my shit out of it, bro. What I got in my fridge is nobody's business. Inya is not wearing a wig right now. Well, to be clear, I have Ozempic ab shaving, a mini tummy tuck, a minor breast lift. A wig. A wig. Veneer. Really? We need to start that room. I need to go to Turkey for my hairline, though. Who's going to send me? Wait, hold on, guys.

Turkish airwaves more like a fuck. Okay, we need to let you Turkish airways more like Turkish hair waves. Okay. Yeah, because hair transplants. I got it. Turkey hair transplant. Okay, we're gonna wrap this episode up because Luna is you been handsome wanting her mother Madeline's gonna go be a mother and I'm gonna go be a caretaker for my iPhone. That's

- Drew's psyop corner. Oh, y'all thought, y'all thought. - Wait, we didn't say the real reason. - Oh yeah. - People would be livid. - Clock it, clock it. - They would be livid. - Yeah, clock it. - Okay, honestly, we hyped it up for like nothing, but basically, I don't know if it was the same day as the Chipotle thing or not. - I think it was the same day as Chipotle. - It might have, and that might've been why we were picking on you. - It was a golf tournament, and then-- - Whoever wins at the golf tournament scores better

they got to choose. So I actually beat Drew this time. While Drew was throwing a hissy fit because he really wanted to go to Chipotle. Never had it. Never had it. It was all over Tumblr at the time. It was like a really It was in. It was huge. And it was also the only Chipotle was like an hour and a half away from our house. And this was pre the gloopy mess. This was when Chipotle

It was top. It was gorgeous. No one had seen it in real life, so we all thought it looked like those stock images. We didn't know the goop we were getting into yet. The gray matter. Yeah. So we go there. Finally, I'm like, okay, find Drew. We can go because he was freaking out because he didn't want what I wanted. And so we go there. Drew orders a bowl, burrito, whatever. Literally did not touch it. He took like maybe one bite. He took pictures.

He took pictures of it. And they went straight to my Tumblr. Yeah, he took pictures and took like one or two bites. Two. It was two. So anyway, we were like making fun of him for that. Like being like, oh my God, you made us go there and you didn't even eat. Yada, yada, yada. Soil too was thrown in there. Yeah. Soil.

Well, then we're on our way home and I don't know if like I said it or if my dad said it. It was probably me, honestly. But I think I said something about like Drew being gay and

And I watched him shut down. We've never made that joke before. We've never said anything. And I watched him shut down. And I remember just looking at him and I was like, ooh, that might have extra-struck something. That was a little too far. Well, then Drew, that's when he ran upstairs as soon as we got home. That's literally also the same exact reaction that you do on the podcast. Yeah.

You like go silent and then you leave. Yeah, so he ran upstairs. That's when I was like, maybe I should go check on him. And that was like 10 minutes later. And I walk in and he has like the pills. I'm sitting here like this. No. With my pills. I was like, oh, they're going to learn. They're going to learn. That's really when I started like thinking, oh, maybe that might be. Maybe that is a thing. I remember one time. Chipotle, B, you almost got out into your family. The catalyst. Like accidentally. It's like where we were saying gay in the show.

It wasn't him uploading the photos directly to his Tumblr? Yeah, it wasn't getting it and not eating it, like photographing it. Yeah, I remember one time though, I had a very, very sweet, sincere moment with dad. We were like, I was probably like,

12 or 13 and he like parents know like early early on and like i was probably 12 or 13 and like it was just me and dad in the car and i was sitting passenger and it was probably like 10 p.m and we were just driving around our neighborhood and he like looked at me and he like pulled over the car and he was like listen drew like i want you to know that like whoever you are whatever you want to be whatever life you want to live like

"I love you and I will always love you. "And I'm proud of you." And that stuck with me forever because we both knew what he was fucking talking about. Like we all knew, but like, so my parents are chill guys. It was a joke, it was comedy. - It's also incredible for Texas too. - No, it's tea. Like our parents were like fucking liberal as fuck growing up. Like we really had that shit on lock. - Yeah, they really were awesome. And they still are awesome obviously.

But yeah, so I never actually said the real reason because I was like low-key embarrassed. Y'all bullied. Y'all tried to out me. Y'all bullied. Well, honestly, it made me laugh

So like literally honestly that is like the piece de resistance. No but every everybody has like a story like that. Bro oh don't get me started with me and my siblings like some of the words exchanged when it got to it when it got like really nitty gritty like we're going deep like some shit you told me in passing in the bathroom three years ago about what you didn't like when you looked in the mirror. It's coming out. I remember. Yeah.

You think I don't remember. That is so real. I do take a log. I do take a log of people's insecurities. But not even on purpose. I think I take a log because I'm like, oh, that's such a weird thing to point out. But I also have the kind of brain that you can't tell me anything because I don't forget anything and I hold on to it. Yeah.

And yeah, me and my siblings would get down. Me and my sister, we would get into the kind of fist fights, but also we were like chronic bad girls club watchers. So we would get into the kind of fist fights that were like literally where is your fucking decorum? Like we would be on the wood floor like holding each other down, putting each other down, like literally counting down like

Oh, my God. But honestly, so fun. I wish me and my sister could like fight like that again, but like not seriously. Does that make sense? Because there is something about it now that looking back, it is so funny. Did we ever hit each other? I feel like that feeling doesn't go away of wanting to just like tussle with a sibling. I feel like it's more common for siblings of like the same gender. Same gender, yeah. I think it was off limit. Yeah, because I... I think that was a thing.

And I don't think I really hit you either. Like, I feel like maybe the sister. You would hit me a little bit. Would I? Yeah. And not like crazy. Oh, my God. Madeline, you're evil. Wow. I don't remember that at all. But obviously, you would probably remember it more. And our older sister. Oh, yeah. She, she, she was a hitter. Not to you. Not to me. Yeah. Dude, there is something, all of my homegirls, there is something about two sisters that's like,

It's on site. It's the first Alien vs. Predator movie. That is what two sisters who are crossing paths hormonally. It's not their fault. Just two girls going through it shouldn't be left alone at any given time. Let alone if it's competitive. Let alone the eternalized misogyny. My sister is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl. It was her word against mine.

top to bottom and that we fought but now like I love her so much there's literally like nothing she could do wrong in my eyes that's my crazy girl I love her like I wish we could fight Jodi would beat the fuck out of my brother it's like really really like I mean from the sound of like the older brother's

-Yes, they kind of deserve it. -They needed that. -They were mean to her. -They would pour liquid ass on me. They would tase me and my friends. They would chase us around with tasers until we pissed ourselves.

Like they were evil, bro. They would hold me down and do what's called a turkey tap where they would tap the sternum in my chest over and over and over again until like, like it doesn't sound crazy, but like once you do it 150 times, also they would grab like this part of your, my leg and it hurts. Oh fucking bad, dude. Oh my God. But at the same time, um,

I got my first taser with my older brother and he made me tase myself with it so I didn't do it to other people. Yeah, you had to go through it first. Yeah, and then he also bought me my first gun and he made me shoot myself with it so I didn't shoot other people with it.

Well, my badass cousin gave me a BB gun and I only ever got to hold one for one second because I got it and immediately shot my older sibling right in the middle of the eyes while they were watching Naruto. And it was Christmas Eve and I got the ass whooping of a lifetime. And everybody in my family was like, you just ruined your gifts. And I really thought I was going to get gifts. But I got all my fucking gifts, bitch. Fuck you. And don't put that gun back in my hand because you're next.

I wanted a BB gun so bad after that. I couldn't believe like. Did you ever want a paintball gun? Oh, yeah. I wanted a paintball gun so bad, like literally so bad. Mom would have not trusted you. No, because the second I got a fucking. What are those things where you pull the thing back?

- Oh, a slingshot? - A slingshot, I put a rock in a slingshot and was trying to shoot it over the roof of the house. And I was like, I did it once and twice and then like, I aimed it like a little lower, kind of like not on purpose, but kind of on purpose to see what would happen. And then just pulled it back as hard as I could.

and let go and it hit like straight into the window not it wasn't even a fucking window it was even worse it was a sliding glass door so it was like the most expensive thing ever and it just fucking exploded dude it was and I like freaked out I don't

I broke a bunch of windows, actually. I stayed breaking windows. I only broke one window and it was when my older sister woke me up to do the dishes and I was so mad and I was in my sister's bunk bed because I didn't believe in outside clothes on my bed. So I would sleep on my sister's bunk bed because she didn't give a fuck. So I would sleep on hers and my sister came in to wake me up and I was so mad that I turned over and like,

like kicked or punched out like i like was throwing a tantrum and i smashed the window and i just taped it up and there was hella mosquitoes and gnats and stuff covered in that crack and i just covered it with the curtain because i was like i can't i can't deal with this because i was i was big i was already like 15 so i had no business like throwing a tantrum you'd have to pay for it yourself yeah i would have to figure something out and i was like there's no figuring that out yeah

- Madeline, what's some bad shit you did that we didn't really know? I mean, you were good all the time, but like-- - Genuinely, I literally could not tell you. - You didn't drink or smoke or anything? - I think my first drink, I was 18, and it was when we were in Montreal when it was legal. - Oh, yeah.

Like actually, and I was like, I guess I don't remember eating it. I was like, damn, this is a crazy combo because you're bad as fuck and you like, you did not play. I like stayed in the hotel room the whole time. Yeah. No, there had to have been some like breaking a window or like, did you almost set the house on fire or did I make that up? You almost made that up because I really- No, that was mom throwing Christmas boxes in the fire. Oh yeah, that was mom. Oh my God. That was mom. No, I literally like-

Me and Steven tried to think about that. I was like, dang, I really was low-key a good kid. It wasn't like I was scared of mom and dad. I just didn't want to disappoint them. I don't know. I was always so terrified of them finding out about...

I don't know. I was also scared of that, but I just figured out how to hide it. Yeah. I was so good at hiding things from them. I guess I just, yeah, I didn't think I was clever enough to hide it. I don't know. I just didn't do it. Or it's because you're born to be a truth teller and this is a pathological liar. Yeah. Yeah. Aw. You used to lie a lot. Yeah. But now I feel like we actually believe you. Yeah.

Who knows? Yeah. Me and mom were talking about that actually. Who knows? We were saying like, this is probably like three years ago. Our mom was like, you said something recently. Something happened. I don't know. And mom was like, I actually believe him. She was like, three years ago, I would enough. But I actually believe him. Three years ago, I was still a liar in y'all's eyes. Yeah. Chop.

Well, also, it's the liar in the dramatic combo. Yeah, you add stuff. I'm not a liar. Yeah, you're like that. You add stuff to be. I'm an embellisher. Yes, exactly. I'm an exaggerator. Exactly. We were just talking about that on the episode. There's a difference. Yeah, exaggerator. I would say that. Not just liar. Yeah. There's a difference. But no, we were laughing about that because mom was like, yeah, I actually believe him.

T, T, T, T. Well, mom also stole thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars from me. She did not. No, she did not. No, mom did not like when you say that. We're taking her to court and I'm going with him. I'm standing in the back. Yeah, and he's helping me. I'm going with my man to court. She hates when I say that. She does not like when you say that. She's an embezzler. Truth hurts. Bezels my funds. Yeah. Truth hurts, Pam.

No, Pam is literally the best mom ever. Remember when I visited? When was that? I think I was there for Mother's Day or something. It was when Frank Ocean dropped Chanel. Oh.

-Are you thinking of a different time? -I'm thinking of a different time. It was more recently. It was Yumi and Orion were in town. -Oh, Easter. -I cried so hard saying bye to y'all's mom. I literally cried like I was saying bye to my mom and I was like, "Oh my God," but she is just so-- -No, my mom is so mother. She really is mother goose. -Queen mother. -Yes. -Are you going to do PSYOP corner? -Drew PSYOP. My granny just said Q as in cucumber. Lord, she's ready. -What?

Kids don't even say dookie head anymore. They'll just call you a bitch.

-Oh my God, I can't wait till Luna gets to the point where she says something like-- -Like she's trying to be mean. -I want her to be bad. -She's trying to be mean and it's not going to come out as mean as she thinks. -I want Luna-- -She's going to be like, "You shit." Just think of whatever first. -You shit bitch. -Yes. -No, I want Luna to be bad but not actually because for y'all's sake. -Only at home. -Yes, exactly. -I want her to be respectful outside. Obviously respectful to-- Kind of like we were with mom and dad. We were definitely respectful to them

But also they let us like be ourselves. I don't know. But like we knew our audience. We knew who we were around. We knew where we were at like school. Dude, if our teachers knew what we were like at home, they would freak the fuck out. We lived double life. That's actually so amazing. We were actors. We were yes ma'am, no sir. And if we didn't say yes ma'am, no sir, like we would get like slaps on the back of our hands type beat. Like literally. What?

Not like I'm not saying I'm saying like metaphorically. Oh, I'm not saying we're actually getting slaps on our hand. Like, what is the saying? Like, isn't there like a slap slap on the wrist? Slap on the wrist. Yeah, we would get like yelled at if we didn't say yes, ma'am. No, sir. Motherfuckers buy you one McChicken and swear they had your back through it all.

That's you. Actually, that's me to Madeline and Luna. Yes, and getting us coffee. I was bullied for liking anime. No, tell the whole story. You were running in the hallways thinking you were Naruto. No, tell the whole story. It's so funny. I'm done. Okay, well, do you have any media you would like to share? Music, movies? I did not prepare anything. What's the most recent movie you watched?

With or without Luna? Mufasa in Lion King. The live action. No, like you watch it on your TV all the time without Luna. Oh, the Black Mirror episode. Yeah, Black Mirror. The first episode of the Black Mirror, Madeline and Steven were like, you'll have to watch it. And we watched it. It was actually like crazy. It's, I think you left maybe during it. But yeah, no. I was getting sad. So I went to my room. Aw, okay.

Well, my media of the week is love, life, and laughter. Live, laugh, love. Yeah. Wow. I actually don't have any media to share. My media of the week is...

I don't know if you've heard of this app called Uber. Oh. But like cars, yeah, they come and pick you up. That's your media. And drop you out. I actually think we took one of those. Really? Yeah. Oh, from Disney to LAX, yeah? Mm-hmm. That's so real. Yeah, Uber is a good one. Postmates is like Uber, but for food. My media is Funk Me by Marvin Gaye. Mm. That's it.

Mine, we were talking about songs that are like our life story. Like if you could encapsulate like one song and it mean exactly what it feels like to be Drew or what it feels like to be Enya. Mine is Flow, F-L-O-E by Philip Glass. And mine is We'll Live Through These Long Years. I actually don't know the whole name and I've said it before. Is Drive My Car? It's from the movie Drive My Car, which I've never seen. Sorry.

Thanks for being a guest, Madeline. And this was Madeline Phillips. Thanks for being on again. Sorry if I dominated the conversation. I tend to do that. I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with the way you presented yourself in front of two people who love you. Yeah. Thank you for being on. Of course.