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I realize why all of my skates get dirty so quick. It's because I wear cloth, and the brake dust from LA just gets into the fibers and stains it. I don't know. Is that really it, or do we just have, like, chronically dirty floors? I think it's the brake dust, yeah. It's the brake dust. It's all in our lungs. I was thinking about that when I was thinking about my dirty socks. Brake dust?

Bro, like... Dirty sucks. Yeah. There's going to be like two inches of like brake dust all over LA if we weren't moving. I set up a, it's like a fan and it's all white plastic. And within a week it was like black. Yeah. Are you joking? I'm not joking. No, dead serious. We're breathing in like mad amounts of brake dust.

I literally have a vape in my pocket and there's one upstairs under my pillow. Like I don't care. No, that's a supplement. But in my room, I replaced it. It's a nootropic. Nicotine is nootropic. It literally is. That's the thing. I replaced my air filter and it was from the fires and it's black.

No, you didn't, and you're lying. You left the plastic on your air filter, be honest. No, I didn't. The amount of people who left the plastic on their air filter, genuinely, actually, you were one of those people. Yeah. He was one of those people. I left the filter in the plastic for three months and was like, nothing about my room has changed. I'm actually sicker randomly. Yeah.

And it was because the filter was wrapped around, or the plastic was wrapped around the filter and it was just like caking onto plastic. What the fuck? Anyway, guys, welcome to episode 50. Bleep that. Welcome to episode 26. I don't know what episode this is. I think it's 190. I think it's 27. 197? 27. But we are up there in the 90s. The real answer is I think it's 194. Oh, damn. Oh, God.

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I seriously am a new woman. Like, seriously. Seriously. Has my voice changed? Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. I need to stop smoking. I was listening to myself the other day. I was like, oof, the Fran Leapwood's obsession is going like, it's going throat. Like, it's getting to throat era. Throat goat. Wow, we haven't said that in a long time. Fried gay homie. What was it? That part. Oh, yeah. You're a gay homie that got hit by lightning. Yeah.

We were at Kai's birthday dinner last night and Kai was like, he was like, oh, like that part of the chicken is weird or whatever. And I was like, that part. It'd be like every 30 seconds Drew would just like light up and then say something and then just like go back to being silent. One of his friends was like, oh, I just like, I literally gagged. Like it was so gross. I was like gagging and it was like, gah.

gay friend who got struck by lightning that is what drew feels like sometimes that's a better representation because sometimes i've always said this but when drew's in my passenger seat it feels like the second he gets into my car he turns into my uncle with like light amnesia like he just becomes like a different person because he's not really there and then every now and then when he says something

when he says something it's like oh wow on memorial day or like before that we were passing a cemetery with flags all over it and drew literally has been dead typed all the time and they go

Those flags are for Memorial Day. And I was like, yeah, buddy. Yeah. Like that's what our conversations in the car feel like. It's like, yeah, buddy. I didn't know what to say. I just went. Oh, wait. When you had like the beard and your hair would be all frizzy. That was your most struck by lightning moment.

I'm thinking about bringing the beard back. Not because I think it looks good, but because it's probably my funniest era. It's so de-centering and de-stabilizing. Yeah, it's really creepy. I guess, yeah. Thinking of you with pictures of you, no wonder people actually maybe are confused about your sexuality. Because I will say...

You don't look like the gay friend struck by lightning when your hair is puffy and you have a beard. You look like the person who I need to lock my car. I look like the Unabomber. Or no, Ted Kaczynski. I literally look like I'm like in the cabin in the woods. That was your most like doppelganger moment.

time too that's when like everybody was looking they grew out beards they grew all the doppelgangers grew out fucking beards what's happening now are you growing one back out like no i just like am so lazy i hate shaving i hate shaving i hate shaving how often do you have to shave

Like, I should shave every day, but I just shave, like, once every two days. Every day? That can't be good for you. Every day. I shave every day. Or are you talking about your face? Can you grow facial hair? I thought we were talking about our buttholes. I thought we were talking about our buttholes. But do you want to talk about face? I don't want to talk about mess. Kai can grow a beard, and if he did, he, like, better watch the fuck out. Yeah, but I look like Inside Out Dad, and I don't really like that. Oh.

Okay. Like literally. I literally do though. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Stop. Like ew. It's weird. You're like flirting with me. I like that. I like that. No, but can you actually grow facial hair? I can. You don't feel like somebody who needs facial hair. I don't like the way I look. No, he looks like only good to me.

What? You look only good to me with facial hair. What was it, Josiah? One time I like had some facial hair and Josiah was like, it went quiet for a second. He just turned to me and said, I think you still look good even with this. By the way. Just in case you're insecure right now, I think you still look fine. I got bodied. Drew, you kind of look like Pedro Pascal, I realized.

Do you not see that? Because I'm not joking. Like a little bit I'm joking, but I'm also like you kind of do. Yeah, I feel like it. Show them that put up on the screen the picture of me mogging you from last night. Oh. I'll show you right now. I have FOMO. I missed Kai's birthday dinner because I was at Disney for Salem's birthday.

Is this yesterday? Yeah. Oh my God. I can't believe I've been in Kai's room now. That was really, really dark. That was really, really dark. You look like a Tom of Finland character. Yeah, I know. My jaw is all big. Why are you guys like so flirtatious today? Did something happen last night? We're literally not. I feel like we're just average flirtatious, but yes, something did happen.

We got on Omegle together and it was really traumatizing. Oh, is that where you got attacked? No. I thought you got attacked in real life. No, not even there. I got attacked in real life, y'all. I was for real hate-crimed by like 10 people. It's true. What were you wearing?

I was wearing a rainbow pride flag outfit. What's today? It's not June yet. Yeah, you're pushing it. Wait, actually, before I get into that story, one of our friends was posting on his story, or on his close friends, being like, ugh, I spent all my money...

waiting for like the pride month brand deals to come in and they're not doing them this year so now i'm broke so like please like someone pay me and i just thought that was like such a funny mentality to have waiting on the pride brand deal and they're not doing it anymore because pride is literally like demonic now um pride is lit i want to go to pride we got invited i said no because like the reality of this like oh i'm going

or no, I mean to be on the Mac pride. Oh yeah. Like Mac is doing a pride flow and they asked me and Drew if we wanted to be on it. And I do want to be on it, but like the idea of any gay person who's only ever seen a clip of me calling bisexual people evil, like, and me on the mad pride flow, like, um, I wish I could go on it so bad because getting like

fucked up and getting on the pride float i may tell them yes it would be fun like doing a solo mission on the pride but i just want to watch to like be there and observe and that's why i'm like i don't think i have it you're by you're by you're by and then i was control him control him control him i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not it seriously is evil

I was talking to my therapist about that. It literally is evil. Me and my therapist talk about it. It's evil. It's evil. It literally, it's the root of all my evil, I think. I think it actually is. It's the root of all my evil. A woman like me shouldn't have endless options. Like, no. No.

Oh, no. I already have a phone. That was already bad. We're learning a lot about when you give women phones and bisexuality at the same time in the same century. It literally the world expands tenfold. It's fucked up. Did you know that all the witches that were burned in the Salem witch trial were bi? I would love to be burned at the stake. I think that that's in your cards in you. Should we burn me in the backyard? For episode 200? For the barbecue this weekend? Yeah.

Oh my god, we're literally accidentally having a pride barbecue. No, that's what I was telling my mom on the phone and I was like, we can't do that. And she was like, why can't you do both? And I was like, mom, we can't do that. Everyone's gonna think we're gay. Everyone's gonna think I'm gay. And then, so we're at...

I'm just figuring out how to say this. How to talk about your attack. That was a perfect transition. 200 episodes of podcasting. He really has been struck by a fire. Saturday. Saturday. And then we. That was literally me on Sunday. Like, Adam.

Also Drew yesterday. Yeah, that was me yesterday. And then we are all sitting in a living room and we're playing this game called Fishbowl. And for those who don't know what Fishbowl is, it's a game where...

You take three pieces of paper. You write a random word. We played it at Devin's house that one time where like you put all the words in a bowl and then someone's standing up and there's two teams. Oh, have you played it with Rain before? I don't know. It's like a charades game? Yeah, exactly. Charades! And like the first round is you like get as many words as possible to get your team to guess the words. The second round is you only get one word. And the third word is to just act it out. Yeah.

And someone in that room, I have no idea who it was, put Pride Month as one of the words. And not only Pride Month, but as one of the words. It was me. It was me. I was like, wait, that's like, okay, keep going because we have to say the other thing you almost did to troll someone when you almost were, you're gay. Oh, yeah, yeah. I have that written down. Yeah.

And so someone did that and it was really scary. That was the first scary part of it. Okay, so essentially you wrote those things and it backfired on you. Okay, that's what I'm learning. Who is saying this? You were the only gay person in the room in a game of charades and you put gay words in a bowl and you were like, surely no one will point at me. Every single time that word came up, everybody would just look at me. They would look at me in the craziest way. They would just look at me.

Some people would maybe even say it, question mark. Who the fuck gave them permission? Because I know I did it. I know that's for damn sure. And then, oh, this is the worst part of it all. So someone was acting out the words and they just pointed at me. And everyone was like, it was Pride Month. So everyone in the room, she's hate crying to me.

Oh my God. I didn't even think about Pride Month. Yeah. Of course you didn't think about it. Yeah. Well, the thing is, nobody even said it. They were just like slowly point. Not a soul set. I was going to say. They were just slowly look at Drew. Because they knew that Drew fucking wrote it. Yeah.

Everybody would just like look and then they'd immediately know. It's so annoying. Dude, we spoke to like, what's that guy who he like reads your mind? It was at the story. A mentalist. A mentalist at this Tory Burch event. My mom went to a mentalist in fucking Vegas too and did some really fucking shady shit about me to him. But go ahead. Oh my God. Your mom is like beefing with you constantly. I know. We're like really like in a fight right now. Yeah.

Me and my mom, too. I screamed at her on the phone yesterday. Oh, that's why the bottom of your socks are always dirty because I play with my mom's ashes sometimes. What? And I think the dust gets on the floor. That's inappropriate. What the fuck? How I grieve is my process. Yeah, Kai, that was weird for you to not only check in you, but a woman. That's how I still play. Me and my mom still do cartwheels. Oh, my God. I vape my grandma or...

Yeah, my grandma's dead too. I forgot. Is that the thing that LeBron does? Yeah, the thing with your mom's ashes. Right. Well, should I talk about my story, guys? My story. The mentalist, yes. Oh, the mentalist. Oh, my God. We went to a mentalist and-

Drew wanted to troll him and he was going to write you're gay because he wanted him to have to look him in the eyes and say you're gay. And Drew didn't do it. He didn't write anything. I chickened out. I wrote nothing. But he still somehow knew I wrote nothing. Like it was so fucking weird. You wanted him.

No. No, no. But like him doing like magic tricks like that would be like really cute. Yeah. Something about a man who's so upfront with his manipulation. Yeah. I respect. Also just like magic is such like a nerdy cute thing. Like I'm like, you're a fucking nerd freak bitch. Why are you doing magic? I feel like having a partner who could do magic with Loki would be so embarrassing for me. I wouldn't like. Like imagine like them practicing the tricks and like failing. Ooh.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. I'm going to restart it. I'm going to restart it. I did something wrong. Like that's, it would be a lot of that. Just forget everything I said. Wait, hold on, hold on. Um, but my mom went to a mentalist, uh, the guy like kind of explained how it works and it's just like reading some like micro movements and like, Oh, you raise your left hand when it's in your left hand, just by like a quarter of an inch and just like little things like that. And that's how they like end up guessing the, um, things. Right. And, um,

I don't remember. That was crazy how he guessed mine, though. Yeah, no, it was. Like, that was crazy. Because I said Adelita's, which is just a random Honduran restaurant in Miami that I grew up going to. That's bomb. No, it's fucking freaky because I wrote nothing and he guessed that I wrote nothing.

Which is weird as shit. It's because you're giving nothing. So it's like easy. Boom. No, you're giving. I think you stole my jeans. I think Drew stole a pair of my jeans. No, no, no, no, no, no. These are from a rich. Those aren't my jeans. I didn't think those were my jeans, babes. I'm saying there's a pair of jeans, my acne baggy jeans that I wore all the time. They're missing. I have a light pair of jeans that look like your jeans. Where are my jeans? Because those are not my jeans. I know my jeans. Didn't steal your jeans.

I didn't steal your jeans. I think you have my jeans. You took my jeans. I'll let you go through my closet. See if you find them. But my mom was also at a mentalist and she like the person was like being like, I'll predict your future. Like I'll predict a question you ask for the future. Girl, my mom asked this mentalist in front of 300 other fucking contestants to

If I was ever going to get married, which is crazy that like I've never even thought about my mom thinking about that for me. But I was like, oh, that's like she like is genuinely concerned that I'll never get married. And I'm like, oh, that's kind of sweet. Like I'm right here. Well, no, we're going to get married. I'm just saying my mom doesn't understand that.

Yeah, people don't. Like, they try to, but they kind of don't. They really, really, really don't get it. And they don't understand how fucking serious we are about it. And like, bitch, I will marry you this year. Yeah, I don't care. We basically, we genuinely, especially being around Madeline and Steven, we were like cracking up because we really do function like a married couple with each other. Because at this point, we also think the same things. So...

We like predict each other's like wants and needs. That's my man. That's my girl. Y'all, Greer is on tour and best believe I'll be getting my tickets through SeatGeek because they don't give me tickets anymore because they're ops because the tickets are selling too quickly. So I literally am actually pissed. But SeatGeek is the place where I will be getting my Salt Lake City tickets.

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sporting events, festivals, and so many more. Y'all should go see Beyonce this summer. Like, please, please, please. Someone do it because I didn't get to and I want to die. I love using SeatGeek. I didn't go, but Inya went to Cowboy Carter and

And just hearing her describe it fundamentally changed me. And if it's not something I experienced this year, like there may never be an episode of the podcast again. And you know, we came through for you guys. You can use code emergency 10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code emergency 10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek.

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Sign up for our $1 per month trial period and start selling today at Shopify.com slash intercom. Go to Shopify.com slash intercom. Shopify.com slash intercom. But she asked if you were going to get married and they said no, correct? I don't remember the answer. Let's actually call her. Hey, mom, you're on the podcast.

I was gonna ask so you were really fucking shady in Las Vegas like you shady bitch yeah I'm clocking your shit right now don't call Pam that what did I do you asked the mentalist if I was ever gonna get married well what did he say

He said, absolutely not. Oh. I mean, he said, well, he said, he goes, I'm feeling you have two sons. And I said, no, no, I have three sons. And then he said, well, I'm feeling that one is married. And he said, the other two, no, no. Wow. Yeah, so. This is bullshit. Do I not count? Yeah, me and Inya are getting married, Mom.

What do you mean? We're getting married. You said that if you guys aren't married by 30, that you're going to get married too. It's really inching up on us. Yeah, it's getting close. It's getting close. It's really getting there. I think we spoke too soon saying that. I'm okay with that. Aw, we should have a wedding and you guys should come. Yeah, I think that would be awesome. I've already got my dress picked out. Mom, can I tell you something? What? You might want to be sitting down. I'm laying down.

I kiss boys. I kiss boys. Drew, I've been new. Is that what you say? Wee-ba-nooses. When was the first time you were like, oh, he's gay as fuck? When I was like nine. I think it was more like five. When I was literally doing headstands.

I don't think I told you about that. I was obsessed with gymnastics and I would just do headstands like all over the house. Like literally for hours. I would do the same thing on a pillow. We low-key would have vibed. You'd be on your head just staring at the golf course. You'd watch the guys come through on that green and you'd be standing on your head just watching them play through.

literally gay guy that got struck by lightning okay mom i'll um i'll call you after but uh yeah you have to come on the podcast guys comment if you want my mom on the podcast all right i love you i'll see you soon all right what a bitch bro like did you see hear the way she was fucking talking to me yeah she doesn't like you anymore that was fucking crazy i could feel it off of her like that was it was the most jarring like that actually ruined my fucking day and like

Wait, do you guys want me to start recording or are we ready? I'm gonna fucking hit you, bro. A classic bit. He's a classic, man. Well, being around Kai is making me scared because literally Kai kind of saved my life the other night. I was thinking about it. I was like, damn, men get the easiest of praises because you saved my life because you lived close. I actually am very grateful. But like, I literally all night or the next day, I was like, Kai literally saved my life. And I was like...

It's true. Technically, the grace of God having you live that close to that fuck-ass club literally saved my life, but you didn't. Technically, me and Rain saved your life. Yeah. I just... Actually, technically, it started with Mason saving my life because Mason was the first person to shield me throwing up in that party. Like, I threw up at the party. Like, it started...

Oh, wow. Y'all, Enya got, like, zooted beyond fucking belief. Like, you know the video, roll the clip of me laying on the concrete. I mean, we could drive him to the hospital. No, I'm not going to the hospital. We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000.

The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up like four times in a row and we did take him to the hospital so I'm like why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him. He's way worse than Mason. This is like Project X.

I had my moment. Well, how old were you when that happened? And you had her moment. No, you weren't 26. You were like 23. No, that was literally like 22. I'm just stunted. I'm stunted. I don't know if anybody can tell. I'm a stunted person. So I'm just now getting to that point, I guess. It was fucking awesome. I would do it again. Like I would literally, I would do that whole night back to back again. Like for me, it was the best night of my

life for me it was everyone else was worried and scared i'm sure but like for me at one point and you literally like it was me you and rain in the room and kai mason and our other friend was in the living room and they were all just talking back and forth and you like bug-eyed and like sat up and like you heard them laugh and like you literally thought like demons were in the living

room like you literally were like there's demons in the living room like who are what is that what is that what was that what is that what is that and I was like and yeah it's our friends you're okay I'm not kidding I don't remember okay I need to preface

It was Salem's birthday. Also, wait, this clip. Drew's here! Drew's here! Did I want vape or what was I doing? No, you wanted my hand. Is that not so sweet? Well, because I was scared. I was really like... Okay.

I went to Salem's birthday party. Actually, the last time I got completely obliterated was Salem's birthday party. Like four years ago. Every year. Her birthday party, it genuinely brings something out of me. And if I'm in a vulnerable space and I'm at Salem's birthday party, it's going down, but it's going to be the best night of my life. It's literally my favorite thing to do every single year. Like every year. Oh, yeah, it is. Like Salem, happy birthday, queen. Once like all of our friends who are like,

What are April babies? Like tourists? Question mark tourists or like whatever. Once like the birthdays in April start rolling in, that's when I know life is worth living. It's about to get wicked. Like life is worth living is other people's birthdays rolling in. It's literally a wicked summer, I decided. Not like the movie, but like I'm going to be wicked all summer. No, it's bad. Like y'all should have never let me go outside because it's done. It's a wrap. Like I had so much fun that night. But I got to Salem's and I was already...

I didn't need anything else in my system. I was like capped already, but I was... Like we drank down at Rain's house before, by the way. Like we had like five drinks before. And then also you were like blasting fucking weed into your brain and bloodstream. And edibles. Plus edibles. Like you were like...

welcome so the thing is for context salem's birthday is always a good birthday party it's always full of like i've never been at salem's party and i'm like oh my god someone i don't fuck with this here like it's usually everyone i like is there i know i can roam around a party and be like wow and i'm not gonna run into anybody it's gonna like really scare me yeah um

But I got there and I was immediately offered shrooms. I've never done shrooms. It wasn't a lot. I found out it wasn't a lot. Also famously, like, Inya has said she would literally never do a hallucinogen in her life. Yeah, I'm famously terrified of shrooms. Because you have, like, literally disorders in your brain now and in your DNA that's ready to just come out. Yeah, so it was a crazy vibe. It was definitely, like...

-Oh my God. I say that all the time. I am a drug dealer's dream because if anybody offers me anything for the most part, I'm like . -Me when I was 15. -If it's a friend, I'm like . I really am monkey see monkey do. -Me during the Zandemic. -That's when you were the gangster by lighting. -

How could you when you were during the Zandemic, how were you able to like control your like gay accent when you were all fucked up around your friends? I don't have one. Did you not just get fucked up? Hey, these Xannies are hitting. Oh, wow. These Xanaxes are hitting. Yes, I'm literally gagging at the Xannies. Guys, can we go to the drug dealer's house to pick up more Xans?

I like Pergs. Perk attack. It feels like a Muppet, like the first gay Muppet. You know, like OG, before they were allowed to put gay people on media, they would do shit like that and be like, did you know that this Muppet was gay? So yeah, I did that. And like immediately I knew I was like, I shouldn't have done that because also I took it. I put it in my mouth. I went to the bathroom with my friend and I took it out and I was like, I'm going to do this. Just know like things are about to go down.

And then I just ate it. And then I went out and I told Kai, I told Mason, I told any of my friends. You literally told everyone but me. I was the only person that didn't know. Because I didn't fucking see you. We got there and literally all split up. Because that is what we do at parties. Like famously, we get there and we split up. You usually end up with fucking Kai. Yeah. We were asking Amine if he wanted to be a part of our three man party.

Yeah, we were trying to run a three man on other guys. Also, then Drew went up to the thermostat at the venue and was just turning it all the way. No, it was locked. I would never do that to Salem. It was locked.

You wanted in there so bad. If it was open, you would have gone in there. I probably would have. I was blacked out, y'all. I drank. Drew got drunk enough that the second we got in the car, he started giving awful advice and telling us to call people on our phones and say crazy shit. And we were like, no. He was like, call so-and-so and tell them you need help. Like my favorite thing. Also, I want to clarify. When I was like, let's run a three-man, Drew was down because he thought it was a threesome with three guys. Yeah.

He was really disappointed when he found out. When I got to the three man, it was horrible. I was just scared. Drew pulling up to the three man, very confused. Where's the guy? So yeah, I did that and I was having the time of my life and then suddenly I don't remember. Actually, I do kind of remember. Wait, wait, are you and Kai dating? Yeah, famously, no? No.

Well, I thought we weren't going to talk about it. Oh, sorry. Okay, because I'm getting an energy between you two right now. Like, there's something. And I feel like the world can feel it maybe, too. The energy is all... Instead of going to Kai's birthday dinner, I went to Disney and all the food you can imagine is in my stomach right now and I'm going to shit it out. That's the energy you're feeling. It's like the amount of food I ate yesterday. Actually...

post salem's party what i did to my body is crazy but wait finish salem's oh but i did get into a conversation with like two guys and i think like just being in the state i was talking to two men who i have no personal relation to genuinely was freaking me out also i was just like watching them interact and i was like i literally see the person you are dully uh by competing over

Yeah, it was just like, it was weird, which I was probably reading into it and that wasn't what was happening. Because also I do have to keep in mind that because me and Drew are like, we're the clowns. Usually people, when we're talking, it does become like, let's make each other laugh all night long challenge. But I was just so fucked up that I was like, like...

who are you people? Why are you talking to each other? Like I literally was just like, it was starting to green me out. And I just grabbed Sabrina. I was like, I think I was just like, I need to sit down. Cause I, I started laughing really hard. And I was like, I'm going to puke. Like, I think I'm going to puke. I'm going to throw up everywhere. And it was like, everything was making me laugh. Like I wasn't scared in a way that I was like,

gonna throw up and explode. But it was making me laugh because I wasn't having any like sort of like new thoughts I haven't had. I was just like, OK, cool.

Like what? Like it was just, I don't know. I was just cracking up and then I went and I sat down and I remember sitting there with Sabrina. I think I was trying to explain to her that I had to throw up because I'm so nauseous and she was freaking out. She was like, oh my God, are you good? Are you good? Because she thought I was like starting to green out crazy and I was laughing because I was like, no, I feel fine. I'm just going to throw up. Eh.

And like, I was sitting next to this like a planter and I was just like, hold on. And I just turned and I threw up in it. And then Mason came and I was like, Mason, hold on. And I grabbed him. And I think I just like turned him in front of me and I just threw up more. And I was like,

okay, it's not gonna stop, I need to go. 'Cause I could feel that I was just gonna keep throwing up. - Mason also saved you 'cause he carried you. - No, Mason, I am not kidding. All of y'all, looking at the videos from that night, that video of me, I'm not kidding, I have a love surge for everyone in that. The next day I was like, I'm seriously having love surges. This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life.

But I just, yeah, I don't remember really being outside. I remember I started to get scared because I don't have parents and that's all I could think about is like, I don't have parents. I don't have parents. But then all my friends were around. I was like, oh my God, these are like my parents. But then I started to get embarrassed because I was like, this is so humiliating. So I just wanted to cover my face, but I couldn't stop throwing up because I was so nauseous. The amount of times you said sorry was crazy. I was so embarrassed. I was like, this is fucking... Also, I had no idea what time it was in my head.

I don't know. In my head, we had just gotten there. Like, in my head, we had just gotten there. It did feel like that for me, too. So I was like, I am ruining everyone's night because I'm the bitch who just got here and I am fucked up. Like, I literally, like, I can't move. Like, my body, it didn't feel like I could move my body. It genuinely was mind over matter. Like, it was mind over matter. And I just kept, like...

Oh my God. I felt like everything. I don't know. It was freaking me out and I kept throwing up and then I just knew I needed to go somewhere else because I was going to keep throwing up. Like I was like, the throw up is not going to stop. The ride there, I don't remember getting in that car. I remember at one point being like, I'm covered in vomit and water and like piss or something. Because I just remember like, I felt my whole body was wet.

You entering that Uber was so funny because we had an Uber come and the guy was like... And you threw up on his car for literally like 10 minutes and then he was about to leave. It was like next to the car. Yeah. And he was about to leave and he was literally like such a trooper. He was like, no, she like... He saved my life too that man. I was like, it's all right. We'll call another one. He's like...

We can take care of her. Like we can do this. It's only seven minutes away. Yeah. He was like, you got it. Like I got it. So we got in first that any could be by the door to exit as easily as possible. And I vividly remember sitting and then Sabrina's like, all right, and you come in and then you like looked at us for a second and then you pulled your skirt off and then jumped in like Superman into the car. I was,

All I could think about, okay, because the whole, not the whole night, for the most part, while before getting in the Uber, I was crouched down. And I like, from throwing up, I don't think I got throw up on me, but that's all I could think about is I was like, I am covered in vomit right now. Like I felt like literally there was vomit under my skin. I was like, I am covered in vomit. I'm going to get it all over this guy's car. Also, I think one of those waters, because we got a glass water bottle, which giving a glass water bottle at a fucking club is literally disgusting.

why? Like why? Cause was the bottle glass? Why didn't the bottle explode? Like there was water all over my skirt. And when I stood up, the first thing I felt was like that skirt has like all those layers. And I felt all of the layers like stick to my skin. And I was like, if I have to sit in this car with like wet fabric on me, cause the, I can't describe the feeling of the skirt landing on my butt when I stood up and I felt like a

like of like all of the wet and I thought about all the dirt that had been dragging on it and I was like I can't have this on so I took it off also when I got in the car I'm not kidding I felt like I was in so much I was it took everything not to vomit in that car like it literally wow wow like yeah I don't remember getting I do remember launching in the car because I remember like so I don't know if someone was behind me but I remember crouching down and just like getting up and I was like

And I just like had to put my body in because I was like, I'm not getting in. I was so fucking scared. Also, I was kind of convinced y'all were going to leave me there, which would never happen. But I was like, holy shit, what if they all get tired of me like acting like this? And like, it's not funny because that's all I kept thinking. I was like, I was laughing really hard and I was like, I'm not laughing because this is funny. I'm laughing because I was like really embarrassed.

And also it was just a funny situation. But I was like convinced that y'all were going to be like, this shit isn't funny anymore. We're going back inside or we're just like leaving her because she won't stop vomiting. Because in my head, we were out there for three hours. No one would let me fucking. I was trying to rally the troops to keep raging. It was my karmic. My karmic subconscious was like. We don't need to take her with us. Yeah.

You don't need to. She can find her way home. I don't remember getting into Kai's room. In my head, Mason carried me up like 18 flights of stairs. Like you could have told me he literally carried me up to like, I don't like in my head. It took so long to get there. And then when I was in there, I remember just like coming to me like, oh, my God, this is not my room. Where am I? Like literally like, oh.

honestly amazing i was so scared and i covered my face the whole night and i threw up all in kai's bed at one point i went into my room and you were just like face down not moving and there was just hella bagels around you yeah no like the bagels like one bite out of each of them and the thing is about the bagels is they were so stinky like they smelled like bad like they were like onion everything bagels or something and they like

Cooked Kai's room. That bagel and the apple you guys fed me genuinely saved my life. Like, I had nothing in my system. It was so crazy. Also, I felt like I was running into your bed, if that makes sense. Like, I felt like I was, like, genuinely trying to escape through your mattress. Like, I don't know if that makes sense. Like, yeah, and I thought y'all were the killers at one point. I was just really, really, really...

but also it was the best night of my life. Now looking back, I'm like, that was literally so fun. Like, I would do it again if you guys would want to carry me around. Also, my shirt that I was wearing, I'll post it. It looks like I got hit by a car. Like, my shirt literally looks insane. It's all, like, discolored. I don't know where my skirt is. I think Rain has it. My shoes, she said, like, were covered in vomit. So I'm, like, really scared to see those because they were, like,

They're like these braided like shoes. I'm like, well, no, uh, rain washed them at Kaizo. Literally. I have the best friends ever. Like you guys seriously saved my life. Well, sort of, but Drew kept like, he would come out of the room and be like,

Where's the afters? What are we doing after this? That's okay. He needs that. I'm not even kidding what's fucked up. When I came to, I was in a vibe where I was like, let's go. When I came to, y'all put my clothes back on me and were like, let's go. I'd be like, yeah. Your brain was so close to being permanently rewired. It was not...

It was. Oh, my God. I feel like there was a 45-minute period where you were on mushrooms. Yeah, you were, like, fucking writhing around in bed. But you were, like, super drunk and nauseous. Like, literally screaming. No, I remember in the car, I literally, I have a vivid memory of my hands in your pockets. Like, I remember, like, I. Taking my wallet. Yeah.

I was taking his ID or like, I just remember like when I was in the car, I grabbing shit. And at one point I felt my hand in your pocket. And then I was like, Oh my God, these are people I know in this car. Like, this is like real people in this car. Um, and yeah, there were like moments. There was one moment where Sabrina was touching me and I'm not kidding. I was like,

Oh my God, get the fuck. I like, I genuinely, I felt that I think that was when I took my skirt off. I think that's like the second I got in the car up until at one point when I woke up in your room, I do know at that point I was like, it was a miracle. I was alive. Like I genuinely, like I was in my head. I was not there. Cause at one point when I opened my eyes in your room, I was so confused. And the room also like,

Because of all of us in there, it was so weird. It just felt so weird. It kind of felt like I was in an episode of Nurse Jackie and I woke up in the hospital bed and I was like, what? But yeah, I was really scared. It was so fun for me though. Seriously, guys. I didn't really explore any parts of my mind I haven't gotten to because I think my OCD has already showed me all the scariest parts of my mind I can be shown. It was more just like it felt like a taunting voice of like, yeah, girl, your shit is fucked and look at you right now. And I was like, oh, I know. Look at me. We're so silly. Yeah.

But yeah, best night ever would do it again. It obviously wasn't an inconvenience though. I genuinely think we all would have left that party at the same time. And then it was an excuse for us to hang out for another two hours basically. It was literally perfectly timed. It was genuinely so awesome. And then the next day I woke up at Rain's and we sat around all day and ate shitty food. We had John and Vinny's seafood boil. Yeah.

leftover mac and cheese and meatballs. Like literally I ate like a fucking king and then I knocked out at her house. And then the next day we went to Disney for Salem's birthday and I ate everything. And literally it felt like my, it felt like honestly the past week I was reborn. Like that was my cleansing day. You guys helped me clean and now I'm reborn and I feel genuinely amazing. Like I would do it again. That part.

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But actually, maybe not. I don't know. Like, I will say the demons. Honestly, I don't know. I literally like I got down with the demons. I party with the demons and I had a good time. Like, I'm not scared of them. Like, I literally had a good time. Like, what? Invite them back. Like, the demons are welcome. And he gets addicted to mushrooms. The demons. No, I will say, thankfully, because of my extreme...

um, guilt and disgust with myself because as much as I'm talking about it, I genuinely have like seeing Kai today. I can't lie. When you first got here, when I heard the doorbell, it genuinely felt like somebody I'd hooked up had gotten here. And I was like, I have to see this person because y'all all did see me in like

At one point, I was borderline butt naked. Like, I didn't wear the right underwear to be taking off my skirt. Like, y'all think, like, the bush shit is a joke. Like, I'm about my shit. And I had see-through ass underwear on. I am very aware. Like, I looked batshit insane. You're lucky that's family. I know. I'm lucky, like, I de-gaffed. Like, what are y'all going to go do? It was see-through, but you shit a bunch, so we covered it up. Oh, I was so scared of pissing myself because I had to pee so much.

so fucking bad i was so pissing yourself in kai's bed yeah i'm not even kidding in your bed i was like because at one point when i came to the first thing i did was wet and peed and i was like the whole time i was in your bed i had to pee so bad i was like if i pissed in kai's bed that would be like that's pushing it i really enjoyed using the treadmill after that was fun

That was like really fun. I'm not even kidding. That was a vibe. Yeah, it was awesome. But I wouldn't do that again because throwing up like that in front of anybody and everybody is crazy. Like the nausea shit is not for me. I don't like that. Like I'd rather just like smoke weed and then get scared for like 10 minutes because it's like kind of same effect. Actually, not really because I don't know where I went. But like it was fun. Like, I don't know. I would do it again. Right.

Nobody should do that though. Cause I'm pretty sure like the concoction I was putting in my body was like ruthless. Yeah, no, it's a lot. Um, well I went out, um, like a few weeks ago, um, a couple of weekends ago and I went out with my buddy and, um,

his house before and I had brought multiple shirt options because I was like oh like I don't know what to wear like I don't know this crowd I've never been around these people like what's the tea so I had him pick out the shirt that I was gonna wear and he picked the one that I was going to wear like I wanted to pick it but I didn't know if like it was a good look for the night and

Well, he was like, oh no, everyone's going to love that. Like that's like literally everyone is going to be so gagged by that shirt. Like, yes, please, please wear that shirt. And so...

put it on i'm feeling confident in myself literally the first person i talked to just like berates me for my shirt and then like five seconds later another person asks me about my shirt and is like what is that like what are you wearing and then literally five seconds later after that another person that actually shared the same name as me comes up and is like

Oh, your shirt. And it was like really shady, not exaggerating within like 15 minutes of being at a party. Three people had bullied me for my fucking shirt that I was wearing. And it was so bad that I like literally took it off and turned it inside out because I was like, this is, I can't keep doing this. Not as not once in my goddamn life. Other than when I'm wearing this shirt, do I get even compliments on the shirts I'm wearing, let alone just like bullied for it. So my buddy set me the fuck up and,

Yeah, there is something about wearing graphic t-shirts in certain locations. Like we went to perfect circuit and I was accidentally wearing, I was, what shirt was I wearing? I was wearing a, I was already wearing a music shirt that was like a fucking annoying cutty. Like a guy would come up to me and be like, like not a vibe. Um, so I was, and then I had my apex twins zip up with me and I literally, before going in, I got so self-conscious and I turned it inside out and zip my shirt up.

because I was like the idea of somebody seeing me come in here and be like you're coming in here to play with SIDS in your Apex twin shirt and your fucking Bjork shirt like well for context the shirt that Drew was wearing it said blue lives matter and it had the blue M&M on it which is bullshit which is like I should be able to express myself like I just think you should be like aware like if people think that shirt's bad like you should just know that you know um hello kitty says a gab um

The thing is that design is so barned. Like the Blue Lives Matter, they didn't even put some pep in their step collection. That was like the laziest push I've ever seen conservatives do with their merch. Because like conservatives don't play about the merch. They don't play. Which is also like kind of goes back to proving the point that like a lot of conservative people just need like music or like movie hobbies. Because I feel like liberal people, they wear like merch of fun things. Like, woo!

conservatives wear merch of like killers yeah literally to like start the worst conversation and vibe ever it's literally like a form of vibe terrorism it's like how do i genuinely because at most waking moments it's like you're not even gonna get into a conversation about that fuck ass shirt you're literally just gonna make people uncomfortable like you literally are just gonna be in the farmer's market and i'm gonna see you and be like holy shit like that is like a deep-seated

And they all look the fucking same. It's like a white guy that looks hairless. Like it's literally hairless. Like literally alopecia down. Like pale. Like freckles on his shoulders. Like fucking glasses that have the hook that goes around the back. Yeah.

Like nasty, nasty, nasty. We do need to talk about the fact that like some people still smell like mildew. I was behind somebody yesterday at Disney and he reeked of mildew. Like mildew is crazy. I know you smell it. Anybody who smells like mildew, I know you fucking smell it. I know you smell it. Nose blindness is a thing.

It's a real thing bro. And you smell like mildew. Wait, actually, yes, really? Yes, that's like your whole thing. Oh, fuck you because I believed you because my I can't lie though. Um, My muumuu I wore to sleep last night was a bit mildewy. I can't lie But I just was so cold and I didn't have anything else I destroyed my favorite pair of jeans in the washing machine. I ate them, but I went and got a new pair Oh, wait. Yeah, I went and got a new pair of jeans yesterday I just went I was like fuck it. I'm just gonna go

I went to the gym before Kai's birthday. It's literally like the Memorial Day flags. Guys, it was Kai's birthday. Hello. I know. Happy birthday, Kai. I genuinely do. I hate that I missed it. But like I did have the best night of my life if you were wondering. It was honestly, your birthday was literally perfect. It was. That was like the most ideal birthday. It was really fun. Not even just saying that. Like it legitimately was cute. And there's also so much anxiety as the person whose birthday it is when you get like a group of people together and I'm like,

I was afraid. But dude, it was so fun. We basically... We got dinner. Then we played fishbowl. Drew got hate-crimed. And then we went on Omegle with like eight people. That is perfect. The Omegle was so fucking fun. And we had like, I swear to God, eight good interactions with people, which is...

Probably seven more than I was expecting. It was sweet. Like a couple of them. I was like, oh, wait, this is like I could see how if I was like a lonely 19 year old, how I would like love to be on this fucking app. I mean, I literally was that kid, except I was being groomed. Yeah, I liked to go on the texting part and lie and say that I was old and then get groomed. Yeah, yeah.

That's kind of my Omegle vibe. I was like, can I talk to an old person who sees me as an equal because everybody in my life treats me like an equal, but nobody wants to have sex with me because I'm 12. The, um, Oh, the, the, the, something I've been thinking about recently, like, I mean, it's not, this is not what I've been thinking about, but like it's, it preface, it prefaces what I really have been thinking about, but like,

Okay, like this gap in the bathroom stall, like that's fucking crazy. Like if I can look out of the bathroom stall gap and like lock eyes with a person in the mirror of the sink, like that's really crazy. Like fix that. Like what? Like there's some perv that designed it to make it a thing. But what I didn't think about is the girl's

is the girls that wear fucking rompers butt ass butt naked nasty in a fucking stall with a gap like what the fuck i'm not kidding a gap in a stall has never crossed my mind i don't give a fuck take a peek i don't care like what we're literally to me like

To me, a bathroom is the least sexual place ever. I actually get like, I genuinely think about this and it annoys me because I'm the kind of person that I don't like to fiddle with my belt buckle and my buttons after I've peed because in my head, I'm just like, well, I've just peed. I want to wash my hand before I start playing with the thing I'm going to touch all day. And like, that's going to be exposed to the world. So I will literally leave a stall with like my pants half down and like my underwear out and my belt on.

And people will give me the craziest look. Bro, I don't want to fuck you, bitch. I'm in the fucking bathroom. Like, this is the bathroom. I don't want to fuck you. Like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. You're not even bad. People brushing their teeth in the airport bathroom, like, is really one of the most horrifying things. I brush my teeth in an airport bathroom.

The worst is in airport bathrooms. They have the gap on the bottom. Yeah. And I always take my socks and shoes off to shit. You get barefoot in the bathroom. Do you put like towel down or are you just like. He's grounding. No. Yeah. I want to ground before I get into the plane. Dude, the worst. The worst thing for me is the gaps underneath. Like, never mind. I'll hold my pants. No. The whole time I use the bathroom. That is something I won't like.

In an airport bathroom or any bathroom or plane bathroom, I am so...

aware of my clothes touching anything like it becomes like a game of not like bumping into anything that's something i care about but like i'll put my feet on anything yeah i'll get like bear i'm always like at the airport i i have to you have to i have well i have to take my poop scissors out yeah and use them they take them at tsa now i know it is so fucking so then you have to bring the plastic ones oh like the safety scissors it like does not work the same guys i got fasting all wrong i thought it was when you ate quicker

Oh, one of our friends was telling us that you can do EMDR therapy to literally forget things. And so if I ever commit a crime, I'm just going to go to EMDR therapy for six months. And so when they lie detector me, I pass with flying colors. Eternal sunshine of the spotless crime. Yeah.

Do not use the vibrators from Timu. It just blew up my cushions. Hold coochie. God, I'm so bad at reading. I'll literally never be able to read, huh? I mean, if you practice. I think you just can't read out loud. I can read like when it's myself. I kind of think you can't read or write or text. Because sometimes also like I'll text. The miscommunications we have over text are actually mind-blowing. I know. It is weird as fuck. Should I go into my media? Yeah. Yeah.

oh my media of the week is check on it by beyonce sunny side of heaven fleetwood mac don't you wait by solange memory lane mini ripperton and i'm not in love 10 cc oh my god in love sure i have like i i haven't don't forget it

I have a lot of music shirts, but usually it's bands that I like, not because I actually think that matters, but because I hate the idea that somebody could come up to me and ask me a question. But the 10 CC shirt I have is for an album I really, really, really don't like. And I went to a record store and the guy was asking me about it. And I was like, no, yeah, this album, this album's good. I like this album. And I lied my fucking ass off.

But that album sucks. It's like bloody Taurus. My media is Le Fleurs by Minnie Riperton. I Want You to Love Me by Fiona Apple. And if any women want to have sex with me, let me know. I listen to Fiona Apple. Everything Means Nothing to Me by Elliot Smith. And then I've been listening to Drive-In on 9 so much recently, but there's like a reason why.

There's like a gay reason. And then I watched the entire first season of a show, not at night, not over through the night, in the middle of the fucking day. What show? Called Bet. It's on Netflix.

terrible like literally well i watched horrible but i literally i haven't been enthralled by like a lead characters like acting like in so long in that way like she ate so bad and it's like an adaptation of a manga um into like a live action and like it was the best live action anime manga i've seen i think ever but the show was like

The first three episodes are so captivating and you just get like sucked in immediately. And then after that, it falls off tremendously. But you do want to find out what happens next. So I do suggest you go watch it. Don't expect to watch like the greatest show ever. But it was it was fun. It was really cool. I watched Ultimatum, the lesbian edition. And that is the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's going to be me today.

Oh, guys, Tesla's sales have gone down by 50%. Thank God. Let's go. Thank God I have the negative Tesla stocks. It's when you bet on the opposite side. I'm not kidding. We should do that. Like, that should be a game. It's too late. No, for everything, though. For everything? Bet against everything? Yeah, I'll bet against everything. Well, thank you guys so much for watching. I'm going to go explode poop out of my butt. Yes.