meet our interns w/ Quen and Larray
01:29:59 Share

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto-friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a finger. So I can get in more squats anywhere I can. One, two, three. Will that be cash or credit? Credit. Galaxy S25 Ultra, the AI companion that does the heavy lifting so you can do you. Get yours at Samsung.com. Compatible with select apps requires Google Gemini account results may vary based on input check responses for accuracy.

Live from Radio City Music Hall, it's the SNL 50 Homecoming Concert featuring performances by Arcade Fire, The B-52, Backstreet Boys, Bad Bunny, Bonnie Raitt, Brittany Howard, Brandi Carlile, Chris Martin, Dave Grohl, David Byrne, Devo, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Jelly Roll, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Mumford & Sons, Post Malone, The Roots, and more. Celebrating 50 years of SNL music.

February 14th at 8 p.m. Eastern. Catch it live on Peacock. With new McValue at McDonald's, you always get more than you expect every day. So even if gas prices go up, you can buy a double cheeseburger and add a McChicken for $1. Or before game time, you can get $5 meal deals for the group. And if breakfast is about to end, get deals in the app to save before the bell. The choice is yours. And the choice with McValue is always more.

Prices and participation may vary. Valid for item of equal or lesser value must opt into rewards for app deals. Oh my God, guys. Hey, guys.

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. So, as you can tell, there's two seats there, and it's because we've had a lot on our plate recently, with the podcast specifically, and we thought it was time to

hire some interns yeah honestly yeah and but we were really selective though because like not to be this person i don't want to like sound like kind of like a matilda derf here but only these sexiest people can work with us that's kind of like our whole thing like fine shit hot yeah like very sexy very like oh my gosh someone oh that's a bad joke i was gonna say someone to hr

here mysterious like aura like yeah we just wanted a set of interns and honestly like you guys like you'll you'll you'll know just guys come on in y'all oh yeah i stole one of quenchu we are here to work

- Yes, Huel. - Yeah, I'm having a fun key now, but isn't it crazy when your boss takes your shit? - Yeah, well, no, no, no, it's like-- - What, I'm borrowing. - Your job as an intern. - Can I eat now, by the way? - No, no, not yet. - Wait, did you eat today? - Like eight more hours.

Yeah. But you have to get us food first. But we have you guys on like, okay, we just have them on insert. I would don't. I haven't hit them yet. We only hit Kai. We haven't hit our. Why is Kai trade though? Kai's trade. Kai's trade. Kai's trade. Kai's trade. You wish, bro. That would give you way too much attention. We should start blocking Kai's name.

I know this is really cool. I can't help but curl my toe up and lift it up like I'm playing with them. I did an interview with heels for the first time. I was just like, and then I had my feet like this. I was laying around. Yeah, I was not comfortable at all. We're double dating right now.

- I know it's hard. - And it's also like two bi girls and one gay guy and one straight guy. - Exactly. - And it's like the duo. - Wait, who's gay? - I thought Chell was, oh. - I'm straight. - Oh, did I mix that up? - Yeah, I think you like, wait. - Are you bi? - It's confusing. - 'Cause I can't be around you if you're bi. That's disgusting. - Bitch, you suck dick. - Oh.

Can I go? No, not yet. You already want to get up and get out. See, he don't like having more obligations. I don't like this. This is fucked up. Oh my God. Well, I feel like we need to explain how long we've all known each other. Literally forever. Too fucking long. Like way too long. Way, way, way. I think about it all the time because I feel like all of us have so many people who we've just randomly known at this point for a decade. And then every now and then I'll be looking at y'all's faces and I'm like,

- No, Quinn. - Oh, I saw y'all when y'all were kids and you saw my face when I was a kid. - It was so freaky. I saw like a compilation of old videos that you reposted on TikTok. Like a couple, yes.

Literally freaked me the fuck out how young we all were like you were a baby I was 14 at Playlist Live. Playlist Live was when I had my first weed, my first drink. I heard people having sex for the first time. My first weed. I felt like Playlist Live like the devil brushed my foot. It really was. The devil loves idle hands at Playlist Live. It was freaky. Everyone's first was at Playlist Live. Did y'all meet at Playlist Live?

No, we met at Press Play. Oh, let's talk about that. How was that? That was... She's seen a ghost. Actually, like, it was fun as fuck. I wanted to go. But it was fun. The conventions, I was so jealous every time I seen y'all at the conventions. I remember the first convention I went to. That was a ballroom. It was a hotel. It was a hotel. It was a hotel. It was a hotel.

It was a quinceanera. Actually, Yonderra's had a quinceanera. Literally, every press play felt like the hangover from a quinceanera. Like I was just there in the morning shaking and being like. The amount of Adderall flowing through our veins was crazy. Who was? Who was the man? Do you know the man? I forgot his name. The manager guy. ****. ****.

My manager. That's your manager? He tried to kill me. Yeah. With a shotgun. Wait, what? Wait, he was- Wait, hold on. Let's lock in. Yeah, lock in. Tell that. That was gay. Wait, what happened? Oh my God. When TanaCon happened, the guy who was in the Segway for Context. Love that. I hung out with Tana at Coachella and then I came home and he was pissed off that he saw a photo of me and Tana Lake. And he literally, I'm not even kidding, tried to run me over. Like I was hopping in my car and he zoomed and tried to literally run me over. And luckily I hopped in the car with-

You won't believe who was my roommate at that time. Murderize. Who? I didn't know who that is. You know her tea with... Let me hold your hand when I say this, baby. I hope you're okay. God bless you. I don't know who that is. Oh, thank God. You bit that one. Oh, my God. The thing is, I don't even have any sort of trauma. I look at that, I'm like, honestly, from scammer to scammer, you did it. You're not a scammer. You're a scammer?

No, I'm not. Your phone's gone. Well, well. Your phone's gone. It's in her pocket. Also, I mean, I'm like, wait, what? Oh, it's her refrigerator. Oh, thank you. Trade. That was trade as fuck. I know, right? That was crazy. But, ****.

is a man who... Man is questionable. Yeah. He is a boy. I thought he was gay and I met him on Twitter and we were friends over One Direction and then he tried to have sex with me like on multiple occasions. Oh, that's scary. Also scammer. When the gay nigga tries to fuck you is terrifying. No, it's literally like you are like, oh my God. You're one of them. Right, right. You're like a pride cancer. You was waiting for the gay nigga to try to fuck you with Drew. Oh my God.

Inyo wanted me so bad. It never happened. The thing is, I wanted Drew really bad, but also everybody who would be like, would you make out with him? Would you have sex with him? I was like, ooh. You might have been young enough to have like...

- Friendship admiration and romantic, like wanting to have sex with somebody confused. 'Cause I've had that before. - Oh, I think I had that with like all of my early friendships. I was like, let's have sex. - I was like, wait, we're so close we could have sex. - Yeah, and it's like, no, you just need to be the next person. - You still do that. - Yeah, I still do that. - Same, no, same, same, same, same thing. - I don't think that's a bad thing.

Me and Larry went to a concert about three weeks ago, got so drunk, all I remember about the concert is Larry and my tongue touching. - We were making out. - We still haven't kissed yet. - I know, we need to kiss. - We're like saving it. - We're saving it for marriage. - We're really serving Mormon with it. - Would y'all ever do a lavender marriage?

Yeah, of course. We talked about it. Would y'all? Yeah. No. Oh. Oh. Actually, she's dead to me. Yeah, I hate her. Fucking dead. You're seriously going to reject your boyfriend on camera? What the fuck am I talking about? My boyfriend? Did y'all notice how... Can we like really talk about it though? Y'all notice how I became more masculine ever since I started hanging out with her? Wait, that is interesting. No, I genuinely have. When you were sitting here, you grabbed her thigh at one point. I was like, he always grabs my thigh. She hits me. She hits me. No. When I don't film with her... Trey. Trey.

Exactly. She hits the gas. Y'all see how he calls her friends? Ooh, spooky. When Larry puts his hands on me, I'm like, Larry, Larry is a cancer. Larry's very emotional, wants to be like this. I said, Larry, you still have a boy hand. So every time he touched my thumb, I'm like, is you trying to fuck? I know what you're talking about. Because when me and Drew, especially when we first started getting physically affectionate, even now, sometimes I'm like, are we pushing? I know, literally this morning. I almost

This morning we were literally like she was like can you get in my bed and lay on me and I was like yeah sure so I just like laid on her legs like this for like five hours and I was like sitting there and I was like this is like really intimate. This is really intimate. Well I needed warmth. I literally felt like one of the grandparents from Charlene the Chocolate Factory this morning. Like I couldn't get up. That's all my house was too. Yeah like I can't get up. It's too cold. She texts me like I'm her boyfriend sometimes. Yeah.

I texted her yesterday and I was like, good luck at therapy. She said, thank you, baby. Oh, yes. I say baby, mommy, honey, sugar love. She calls me Miss Nigga. Yes.

What did I call you when you closed the door? Oh, I said, you're such a gentle girl. Gentle. Gentle. No, I am gentle. I'm gentle. Okay, I have a serious question. Would y'all ever live together? No, speak. No, you speak, queen. Yes, mother.

Would y'all ever live together? No. I said yes. She said no because she said she'll be mean to me. There's a lot happening here. It's one of those things where I'm like, I love you. I got diagnosed yesterday with this. This is an issue with me. I started going to therapy right now because I'm in a two-week break from doing any work. And I was like, I need to go see a therapist. I'm getting a second to sit and think for myself. And I went to therapy and I told her how when my friends touch me, it kind of makes my skin crawl. And when...

I get in a fight with like a significant other. I just blocked them on everything. I'm like, fuck them. I don't need nobody. And my therapist was like, have you ever heard of reactive attachment disorder? And it's a disorder that you get like you diagnose children with this disorder. And it's because one or two of the caregivers in your life you can depend on. So you decided that you can't depend on anybody as an adult. So you never attack

to anyone securely so me saying i couldn't live with him is probably just that but i feel like y'all could live i think we could but also one thing about our friendship that i've noticed is that like i would say the universe put us in each other's lives for a specific reason for healing and i am very like warm loving and i feel like she never really had a friend that didn't compete with her or try to take from her and i've literally showed her unconditional love and i feel like she became such a gentle soft

Angelic. You really have opened up. I know it is. And it's so sweet to see. Thank you. It is. When I noticed y'all like getting closer, I was like, damn, I like, at first I was like, oh, I wonder if like they're going to get super close. And then the amount I've like, y'all are always together now. I'm like, I just love it because I know what that feels like.

that feels like having somebody like that it feels so good it was so hard like I used to literally be friends with everybody because I didn't know what like a friendship looked like because I was I was raised in the hood so I didn't know what community felt like and then meeting her I was like oh wow so you genuinely do fuck with me

It's like cosmic. It's really like a line. That's also how I feel about all of us. Like we literally are like, what is that theory? There's like that string theory. Invisible string theory. Yeah, invisible string theory. Like we've known each other for what? A decade. Almost a decade. Literally a decade. Too long. Your contact on my phone is ditto. 2026. Like that's crazy. We've kind of known each other for a decade. You know what's crazy? What?

What happened y'all? A decade. A decade of what? Of friendship. 2016 was almost 10 years ago. Like why is that? No it wasn't. In two years. In one year it's 2025. No it's not.

Wait, what? It is 2025. So next year, it would be a decade since 2016. Yeah. And that was the greatest year of our lives. I feel like we've kind of all known each other since like even 2014 though. Yeah. Because in my head, I categorize all of us having met on like Vine and Twitter. Yes. Because I'm just like, yes. Was it 2015, Twitter? Yeah. And Vine? Yeah. Or 2014 was Vine? I think 2014. I was 13. What were you going to say? Bitch, that shit was crazy. Give me Claro's number. No! What? No! What? Honestly,

Juno. For a 150 Essence gift card, I'll think about it. 150? Yeah. I'm easy. I'm easy. I just want a vase. I've been needing a vase. I want a vase. Let's go to pottery class. Oh, you're drinking now?

Oh no, girl, I just finished it. I've had anxiety coming on this, so I feel like it's like five beers before I sat down. Five? That's really gnarly. I'll tell them my fucking business, Gwen. Seriously. Guys, seriously. Or what? No, it's okay. You guys can be open here. Girl, I almost fucked you up. I'm not going to do that to you. Fuck me up. You can't hit her. I can do whatever I want. I'm gay. No. And you beat his ass. Wait, what happened? Why'd you do that? Fuck you, bitch.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, because you're really being fucking weird. No, no, no, no. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it, but I'm not gonna do it. Bitch! What's going on? Y'all got me, let me pray for the room. Father, heavenly Jesus God, please take the demons out of these bitches. How do you have so, why do you have so many? No, I'm not feeling that. Big prayer?

Mid-prayer? That's the demon. That's the demon. That's the demon. The demon was corrupted. Demon? Me? No, I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. I re

Are you okay? Yeah, that guy do the scream. It did. But I'm used to it. Abusive. That shit really does get stuck everywhere, though. Thank you, Enya. Thank you. Pritzy, Pritzy, Pritzy. Yes, I love when girls help. You're jealous. You guys are just lesbians. Girls, girls! We're girls! We're just girls, girls!

We're the poppers, bitch. The poppers I literally have. I'm a girl's girl. Girlhood. Are you a girl? It's just girlhood right now. Wait, I'm a girl's girl. No, you're a boy. I love to support y'all. Yes, me. Play mother. Yes, I'm a girl's girl. Also, I love your tattoos. I don't think I've ever said that. Oh, no. Larry is a witch. And these are sigils. Brujaria. And every time you do it,

- She's projecting. Where's Josiah? Is he in your attic? - He's actually coming. - No, he's coming. - He's coming? - Yeah. - Wait, can I be honest? I genuinely am worried. - Why? - Josiah scares me. - Oh, low key, like he scares me when he meets a few people too. - Why? - 'Cause he's freaky, he's so scary. - He's saying.

He's a queen. He just lies to everybody. He'll just lie to y'all. He will literally just lie because I think it's like, Josiah is one of the best people I've ever met, but if you can get, you have to get through like the first, what was that? Did you hear that? Ugh.

Oh my god, I'm gonna kill them. I have to shoot you off. Can you fart? Get the gun. We have to kill them all. We have to kill them all. I'm not even kidding. Like, if I stutter in front of somebody, I have to shoot them on sight. You have to die. I'm sorry. Guys. No, you like that shit. Guys, get her a bath. Wait, was that a burp? That was a burp. That's mad. Ew, my gut fucking

Guys, let's just air each other out. I don't have anything fun, though. I already said my last thing on the last episode that went up today. My admission was one time in back and forth traffic. I did a nasty face to a woman and I can't do it. So you have to do it.

Cause she made me really mad. She cut you off. Yeah. I was, I remembered today when I was driving, cause I was thinking about it and I was like, why did I get so mad at that bitch? But it was cause I was at the airport and she was trying to cut me off as I was leaving. And I was like, okay, if you gave it two more seconds, I would have left. And then I wasn't going fast enough for her.

No, so you're playing with my life, so I'm about to play in your face. Exactly. Don't cut me off. Exactly. She's actually on Sniffies. Do you know what Sniffies is? No, what is Sniffies? She knows everything about Sniffies. I don't know what Sniffies is. Y'all see Lorraine knows what Sniffies is. Yes, he does. No, I know. I had to have that part for her. This bitch being like...

she faced him she goes hmm what a sniffy because i'm always around gay niggas because i work on so many different sets with like hairstylists and stuff and they're like i'm like larry what's sniffy yes we've played it before sniffies you literally see dick and balls by you oh yeah i know that sounds it's literally the greatest thing of all time that is an active

- Right, if I could like get on my phone and there was men who wanted to have sex on me, I'd be like. - And it's just like open assholes walking towards you. - Yeah. - Like girl. - It's literally. - It's actually such a vibe though. We've come so far with technology. - You guys, let Drew speak. - I was gonna say, it's just crazy because it has your location like locked. Wait, what was that?

i'm gonna slur am i am i trade am i sure you are you are i'm trying you was trey now you're just gay but like i love it though because you're one of us yeah i'm a queen

But it's crazy because Sniffies literally like doxes you. It literally like, it's down to your point. Like they just updated it recently where it will like make your location like 300 feet from where you actually are. But like literally just like you'll walk up the street and you'll see like a dick and balls on Sniffies and you know exactly what house they're in. Why do you know so much? So much. That's what I'm confused. Yeah, knowing the like,

the coding update is really crazy you got stalking it I actually don't know why I know that you got Juvederm I do I do own stalking is it an app or is it a website a website you would like to know huh

Actually, I would love to look at it. First of all, you two. I'm really digging myself, y'all. Y'all love finding twinks and then just making them your little accessories. I know. We're little toys. That's all we are to these girls. No, it's more than that. Your warm bodies, your people to walk with us. But when I got to go to the car, Drew can walk with me to the car. And people will think we're dating until they hear us talk. Larry never gets straight when we're together. Every time I go to the coffee store, you go...

And the coffee store lady would be like, hey, Lorraine. I'm the people's princess. As you should, as you should. I wish I was somebody like that. I really have a hard time talking to like, when anybody in public tries to talk to me like, what? Yeah, what? Like, what? No, literally. At the art store, like the girl behind the counter was talking to me. I was like,

Yeah. Short circuiting. Yeah, literally. I ended up signing up for a membership because she was just

me and I'm like yeah take it take it you got a credit card open yeah I didn't know what to do I was too scared to tell her no and to be like stop talking to me so I was just like yes I just no I do the same thing because I like it's the small talk that I'm not good at so I just kind of overshare to try to create some form of connection I hate when I text hang out with some like text make a fake plan to hang out with somebody they probably don't think it's fake and then the next day they're like so girl what we doing

Nothing. Again. So. And then it comes literally four days. I'm like, um, I think I'm depressed right now. Yeah, I'm going to kill myself. I'm getting 5150 later today. Yeah, right. I have to go to the hospital.

Involuntarily. I feel like... I'm sweating. Wait, what? You're sweating? I'm sweating. Can I change my shirt? I'm sweating as fuck. Can I change my shirt? You guys can keep... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Well, actually, I have one thing before you go. So we were talking about Playlist earlier. Live. And VidCon. Do you remember sleeping on my mom's hotel bed?

Rooms floor. I don't remember anything past 2020 Anything back before my mom. Yeah, I don't remember anything before 2020 when we were like first planning to like get together My mom was like, oh, yeah He slept on my floor like he slept on my floor at VidCon and it was like Issa Twain's like a

Everyone, we were just like partying as fuck. Wait, I was lit as fuck. Yeah, we were like blackout drunk and my mom was just like, okay, yeah, y'all have fun. Your mom was a key. I remember hanging out with y'all for the first time and I was literally a baby. And I was like,

let me laugh at all their jokes even though i didn't get any of them and i just remember y'all y'all had y'all's whole friend group and you're like come come in our hotel room and then y'all was like scobert dubert it was the funniest thing ever it's still the funniest wait what's scooby-doo's real name scooby-doobert is his real name and y'all really y'all and it was like it

in just like second of a joke it was literally like three hours of stupid duper

Hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Guys, my teeth are falling out of my skull. I rotted my enamel when I was younger with acid reflux, so I need to go get that acid reflux under control and potentially book a dentist appointment because...

This is just too much. This is just too much. And I'm going to do that through ZocDoc. Next time I need an appointment, I'm heading straight to ZocDoc. ZocDoc is genuinely the only reason I go to the doctors. Without that app, I probably would not have seen a licensed professional in eight years because no one taught me how to call a doctor's office because I'm not about to sit on hold for eight hours. I'd rather just do it through the app and get an appointment as soon as 24 to 72.

hours in advance. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash intercom to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash intercom. ZocDoc.com slash intercom. Hey, guys. We wanted to take a quick break to thank one of our sponsors, Shopify. Y'all, it's 2025. It's time to make money moves. We got to start our businesses and start really stacking our bread because...

I've been talking to a lot of friends about our plans for the year, and one of them is starting businesses. I want CEOs and businesses all around me. I want my girls to be CEOs and bosses, but we are too busy making cute things to do a website. That's so much work, and that's why I love Shopify.

Shopify makes it simple to create your brand open for business and get your first sale. With Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Shopify helps with the details like shipping, taxes, and payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash intercom.

all lowercase go to shopify.com slash intercom to start selling with shopify today shopify.com slash intercom cha-ching cha-ching i'm sorry because i literally don't remember any memory before 2020. do we meet a lot or do we hang out a lot because i had like contact and three or four times like he went to so many parties together because when you live the bryce hall parties

- Huh? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't remember. - With your manager, he would like bring us into the bathroom and try to give me coke. - 'Cause wait, wait, 'cause your manager was that little white guy. - The one that tried to kill me. - Yeah, 'cause he was the first person I ever saw do coke and I was really scared. - Yeah, it was scary. - 'Cause I was like 17 and I was like.

Are you serious? Yeah, in that bathroom. Do you remember Kay? Kay's house. Yay! Kay's house. Loved her. We could do an entire episode on like having bad teams. Yeah, for real. He pulled a shotgun out on me. That was a vibe. Wait, yeah. You said that earlier. I need to know that. You said that, but then you said the

Oh, no. So many times he tried to kill me. The shotgun was because I was moving out and he had the shotgun while I was packing with Issa being like, girl, I think he has a shotgun. And I was like, girl, he would never. And then, girl, when I was literally walking Milo to my car, he was like, all right, I'm just making sure I'm safe because, you know, you guys are crazy in this. And literally had the shotgun like this waiting for us to like do something.

Girl, I was twink, twink, twink down to the head. What could I do? Also, not even that, but like,

that is a grown man like what like you were literally a kid i was a kid too also even if you were like 24 at the time 25 no 24 year old should be managing anything yeah exactly you think everybody's so much older until you get to that age and you're like yeah oh 100 when i was like 17 somebody who was 26 which i am now i was like damn geriatric you must have your life figured out i'm sure i'm sure you've seen a

You know the 30-year-olds that I know? You don't even really have wrinkles. The 30-year-olds I know now are actually batshit crazy. It's really shocking how no one actually ever grows up. Anyone that I know over the age of 35, me and them key. And I'm fucking 24. It's like...

Oh, why can't we relate? We're all the same at the end of the day. There's a lot of influencers that are like pushing 30s now that are still in the Peter Pan syndrome. Oh, I know. Brent Rivera. It never will leave. And I feel so bad. Wait, how old is Brent Rivera? 40. 45? 63? 45, I think. I mean, now make it 50. Make it 50.

Because I had a good day on a good, strong morning. Because in my head, I've never known his age. Like, I always thought he was. He's AI. No, literally. He actually doesn't age. I've never seen him in person. Me neither. That's something I've never seen. I feel like I've seen a lot of people. I've seen Logan Paul in person. Whoa. Logan Paul introduced himself to me at a nightclub in Miami. And I was just friends with a girl that he was dating at the time. Wait, you were dating a girl? Yeah. Oh, cute. You're not Logan Paul, mama. Oh, no.

- No. - Well not right now, but sometimes. - Wait, you just unlocked the memory. Every, like you fully just like, I went . Oh my God. I remember every time you would talk about Jake Paul and Logan Paul in like 2020, you would be like, if I saw them, I would collapse. - Exactly, exactly. I would always-- - And that was your bit. - I said, my bit was like, I will never, ever, ever meet them. And then I'm at this nightclub in Miami, probably like four years ago. - Oh God. - And I look and it's like Logan Paul. And he's like, hi, I'm Logan.

And he's probably seen how many times I said I would never introduce myself to him. And I was like, he grabs you by your neck. And then I went into spiritual psychosis for the next two years after that. That like one whole clip. No, I swear to God, I was going through spiritual psychosis after I touched him. There was like this statue that was made into a chair. It was like,

And I like grabbed the statue by the face and I was like, you don't want to be here, do you? Oh, he ruined you. I mean, he has really demonic energy, actually. I know he is really demonic. Well, I have I have to find it because it's on one of my phones that's sitting in my fucking cabinet. I have unedited vlog footage of Logan Paul in like 2019 when I was on that random ass brat show.

That was legendary. I was pissed as fuck that I never got casted. Damn. I wanted it. You win, you win. I literally did it. Like, it's so humiliating. I did it because I was like, I'm going to make fun of everyone here. Oh, yeah. That was her whole thing. Her whole thing was she was going to go in and, like, shoot a mockumentary where she was, like, a diva on set. And, like, it was, like, this whole thing they had planned out. Me and Josh filmed a bunch of it. And then I was like, oh,

- Yeah, you guys love to. - That's how it was during the Hype House during the pandemic. - Oh, Hype House. - Don't look at me with, what the fuck? - Hype House. - Beyonce. - Yeah, go for it. - I was gonna say, I feel like, yeah, it's hard to go in and even as, I feel like all of us are very good at looking at someone being like, I would never. - Yeah. - Dark energy. - No, but then you meet them and it's way harder 'cause it's like,

I was like a little bit afraid of it. Yeah, it's almost like I forget. Are y'all friends with like anybody from the Hype House? I literally, during the fires, I needed to park my car at somebody's house because my house got evacuated and they closed off my neighborhood. And I texted Miss Heidi D'Amelio. She said, bring the car on over. So she took care of my car while I was away. I'm still friends with Dixie. I'm still real good friends with Addison. Dixie just followed me on Instagram like a week ago. She's finally tapping in. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't blame her. I'll let her, I'll let her. She's back.

I don't blame her. She's beautiful. She's literally beautiful. I'm like, Dixie, get into the model bag. Please. I know. Hi, Dixie. Hi. But love Addison. Yeah, she's goated. I never really talked. I spoke to Charlie. Me and Charlie have had conversations, but I never was like,

friend let's go hang out one-on-one because i didn't i wish people didn't do that to me when i was how was it filming the show that is like such a good way i was like i don't want to be your friend as deep as i could be your friend because i'm going to negatively impact you because i'm tweaked out right now how was it filming the show oh good they would be like i would we would go to we would go on set and they'd be like okay so today y'all are gonna just wake up from a sleepover and talk mic you up and i'd be like

And we talked. It was fun. That's cute. That's a vibe. How was it? The show or being friends with them? Being friends with them. Are you still friends with any of them? I'm still friends with the same people you mentioned. I honestly think it was one of those things where I was going into it like, oh, I'm going to make this a joke. And then I ended up meeting really sweet people. Regardless of the internet perception of them, I found out that people from like...

I don't know, places that I would never see myself hanging around with people that I can relate to. And then honestly, I would say like the show was just like, it was just sweet. Everyone was so nice. It's just, everyone's nice. And it sucks to like, be like, oh, these people are literally evil. But like, no, not all of them are bad. Yeah. Especially when you're working on sets like that.

the production team like it's a whole different set of faces that you get close to you're gonna be seeing them every day spending hours with them it's hard not to get close so i was just like i can't do that to you like that would actually feel like so mean yeah i would be a bitch actually it's not funny that's how i felt about my high house mockumentary i was like did you burp again and it's like it's like it goes into my nose it's like spongebob when you see the green flickles i literally just had air

- Ooh. - Air wine is poisonous. - Honestly, I really-- - Girl, you're not gonna get a smoothie. Take it back, regret it. - I love air wine. You know Lisa from Blackpink? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just ran into her at air wine. - Oh, really? - Yes, I was gagged. - That is a big moment. - You should be taking a picture with her, honestly. - Bitch. - Have you ever asked for a picture for someone? - Yes, who? - I don't think I have. - It was like a collaboration, but Bella Hadid.

Oh, Abby Miller from Dance Moms. Oh, yeah, Abby Lee Miller. They've gotten a lot of selfies with her. Literally, I've seen her four different times in public. Like, invisible string theory. Is there an evil energy around her? Yeah, she has an aura of evil around her and she'll be, like, rolling in her wheelchair and you can, like, see it. Like, like,

following her. There's a cloud following her? But one of the times we were like, it's always me and Josiah for some reason. I was like, can I get a picture with you? And she was like, yeah, make it quick. And then she grabbed my phone and then brought it to the angle and it was so funny. She like...

Sorry. Cleaning the glass. Stabbed up. But no, she had her angles all figured out. Same with Gypsy Rose. You met Gypsy Rose? I cannot believe. Yeah. I was jealous. She was sweet. She was a sweet girl. Where did you meet Gypsy at? She invited us to her party.

like premiere of like her docu-series show or reality show. She was watching Y'all in Prison? I don't know how she... For sure. I think like her team showed us to her and we had talked about her so many times and they were trying to find like influencers to go to this thing so they showed her

her a bunch of people and then she liked me and drew so we got we were chosen by the killer and they gave us like a little table with our names on it and everything that's actually the nicest we've ever been treated at an event it was literally like roll out of that cut

also gypsies her whole family just took our table and sat there but like all of the characters in the show family yeah like yeah they kind of really stepped up on us we had our little name tag on this table in the corner and then when the premiere ended they all came out and went yeah and just moved our shit and sat down also the girl no we literally stood by the table we were just like okay

It was crazy. And the girl that Chloe Savigny played in the show, which is basically her mother now, had her and Gypsy as the background on her phone. And she sat it down and it unlocked. And she just had her phone unlocked. And I could have gone through Gypsy's mother's phone. You're saying like, and I could have. I should have. That's illegal, I think. Is that not illegal? I don't know. It doesn't sound illegal. Wait, if somebody puts it right on, can I just take them to small claims court? Probably. Small claims court. What are you hiding in your phone?

Yeah, what do you got in your phone? What am I not hiding on my phone? You got games on your phone? Actually, no. Like, literally, no, I don't. Yeah, I don't play games. Do you have porn on your phone? Or do you not indulge? I indulge. I literally quit. I like, really? Really? For a second. I quit for a second. That's lit. I did for a second because I started taking Prozac. And then I wasn't like. Game, so it wasn't even hitting. Yeah, I was like, what? And then you got back into it. I know if I'm in a relationship and I'm getting into my nightly reads, as I like to call them, then I need to break up with that person.

Oh, that is a good... I guess that is a good sign. Baby girl. Of the dark deep. I'm AI. No, I haven't. I remember y'all wanted to talk about it. Yay, I'm y'all assistant. Baby girl, talk. Do girl stuff. Do it, yeah. We'll watch. We'll watch. Okay, so...

here and I said I liked baby girl and people didn't like it and I think it's just because it was like a sex like what I don't like I don't know it but it makes me now I feel perverted I'm like baby girl is everything I'm sorry you bitches don't get trade like we do but baby girl is team you actually get that work in real life wait what do you mean the woman who has to be like a mother a boss a caretaker this or that she has to have a little fun

And I like how he like is laughing at her the whole time. He's like, oh, you think you hot shit. Okay. Like, that's what gags me. And when I meet somebody and they don't bow down to whatever, what they could be bowed down to. And they're like, okay, so I'm like, I guess it's too crazy. Exactly. Too crazy bitches. When he told her, wait, girl.

Okay, I can really get nasty. Get nasty? The way that she was masturbating on her stomach. I know! I was like, oh! Wait, Enya, can you show me how it was done? Yeah, lay on the floor? No, you. We're going to use you to lay on the floor and rub your clit. Let's go. You have a clit? Yeah. Period. Wait, wait.

I feel like I literally feel like I'm in like a bathroom with two drunk girls. I know. Literally. Have your fun. This is like picking your kids up. We're basically talking about softcore porn. I'm like another Fifty Shades of Grey. I remember reading and this probably was terrible for the development of my mind.

but during independent reading yeah during independent reading time in the fifth grade i would go to imdb and type in synopsis and i would just read all the sex movies because my mom wouldn't let me see them and i think it did something to the development of my brain and i when i was going to watch i was like bro i don't give a fuck and literally the second i'm so sorry but her finishing having sex and then going to my side i was like

- And you go, my queen. - You go, my queen. - My queen, my queen, go to the closet and get yours. - Get yours. - Get yours. - Like, get yours. Like, oh my gosh, my therapist was telling me that you should be in alignment with your mind, your heart, and your genitals, which represents your health. Your heart represents like your soul and your mind represents your logic when you're engaging with somebody sexually or in like a relationship.

And, like, she... Her fucking vagina, her genitals was not pleased. And, like, she was out of alignment, and that's why she cheated. Yeah. No, 100%. When a girl cheats, it's okay. Thank you. I also fully believe that. I'm like, what did the man do? What did the man do? Thank you. I feel like I would...

Yeah, no, actually, there's no man in my life. If any man confided in me and that he cheated, but I guess specifically on a woman. What if I cheated? No, that's fine. Yeah, like it's different. I don't think gays can cheat. Yeah, everybody's balling. It doesn't count. Everybody's open. It's free. It's free. Wait, so you gay...

your boy that you were talking about on TikTok, boom bop, cluck cluck. Was that the boy that you were talking about in your podcast? No, no, no. Everybody thought it was him and it was driving me insane. It's DL Trade. Not actually DL. He's not DL, but he's in Texas. Oh, my word is serious.

DL Trade. Also, I need to learn how to speak English because what did I just say? Tick-tock, boom-bop, cluck-cluck? What? But I knew exactly what you were talking about. You liked it, right? Yeah. I knew what you were talking about. No, he's from Texas. Guess dropped his location while you're at it. I should say his location. Is he top 10?

I don't know. Are you top or bottom? Both of y'all answered at the same time. Are you top or bottom? Girl. I'm a side. Shut the fuck up. What do you think I am? You're a top. Top for sure. 100% a top. What do you think?

- I feel like I could see you playing both sides. - Thank you. - I think for the right, I think it really like, you rub me as somebody who you get to the room and it's like, I want this, you want, okay. - Yes, yes. - She's very, very versatile. - I would never top a nigga in my life. - She told me you were short. - What? - And now I'm gagged because I was like, oh, he's short, bye.

I told him you were 5'5". Because he was hyping you up so much. And I never had my Kai moment, so I tried to just... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quickly. Quickly. I was like, girl, I never got my piece. I was gagged when I look around, and he's like, yo, I'm Kai. What? You were excited. Hey, hi, buddy. Yo, same. Yeah. Like, wait. 5'5".

Well, no, you are 5'5". I didn't get my turn, so now you want your own turn? That's fine. I don't even want a turn. You're in my... I got eyes somewhere else. Girl, you know my eyes. Yeah, you guys already have a situation happening, so it's, like, fucked up for you to, like... To do that in front of him. Baby, stop acting like that. I would never do nothing with you. Yeah, she plays hard to get. Oh, my God. She's playing hard to get. Ew. It's so funny. Ah!

I literally love y'all so much. I could literally watch y'all talk for like five hours. It's like my favorite thing to do. I feel like I'm having a hard time talking because I'm like. No, y'all should see when we go at it on FaceTime. Oh, it goes back and forth. Y'all should see us in a serious meeting. I cannot look at Larry. Inya does the same thing. She does the same thing. She can't like look at me. Cause like.

Like, why are you being serious? Like, you acting like a businessman. Like, what? I know you're thinking the dumbest shit ever. I'll text her the dumbest shit. While we're on, like, a big call, like, this determines the next six years, Larry's like, booty cheeks. I'm like, girl. We did the same shit. We'll literally have a notepad and be on Zoom and be like, gay.

Loser. Gay. Like, no. Like, no way we're in the room. Oh, my God. I was on a business meeting for... Wait, I need... Girl, what? I thought I got hacked by Elon. David. Bitch, I was on this business meeting with CAA. Yeah, she signed. Clock it. But however, though, one of the fucking people on the CAA meeting is like, yeah, you can do, like, a pop-up in, like, WeHo or something. Oh!

I texted David. I said, did he just sneak me? That was a sneak. That was a sneak. I wanted to leave the call so fucking bad. A pop-up in WeHo? Well, my old manager used to be like, well, Drew, you're like the sassy one. Like, you're the one that's sassy and has an attitude. You're so sassy. And I was like,

Wow. No, it's actually insane. In our space, they really push the gauge in. Doing shit during the pandemic and after the pandemic, like, I was not okay. I was not in charge of, like, my image. I was starting to do things where I go on appearances and, like, shoot shows for people. Girl, I needed me a shot before every single one. Were you just, like, anxious or... It was because I wasn't in control. Like, because I'm in control of my...

She's not gonna let you hit, bro. Just one time. Please, please, please, please. You would take my side. I would come up like this. It has a hole in it. The air mattress over there has a hole in it and it has a shirt. You have a glory hole here? No, I wish. To a glory hole?

Drew would go to that club. You're sick. I love you, but... I don't know if I would join in on the festivities, but I would like to see. Are y'all the girls that like gay porn? I particularly only watch it. Gay men? Yeah, gay porn. That's Inya's worst nightmare. Gay porn. I've never... I'm not lying. There's so many girls that like gay porn. Wait, y'all. It's me. There was a time...

There was a time, there was literally a time when I was like,

18 something around there where I was like, I don't believe straight porn, but I don't, I feel like there's no way gay niggas can be lying about that. So, so, gay porn would just be so real to me. Like straight porn, I'd be like, she's cap, she's cap. Gay niggas, I'm like, no way this nigga cap. Serious. Yeah, the video of like the two guys in the car kissing and the black girls recording it. Oh, literally the greatest video of all time. That's literally her.

i love gay niggas tea i forgot who i was with but i think it was i think it was madeline rg she was like a man having a dick did you burp again that's how i have pretenas on she's gonna hit me when i get home i don't hit people she literally hits me i have shutdown syndrome are you avoidant or anxious attachment style or secure i'm

I'm avoidant too. I'm avoidant. I run as far away. Are you anxious? Where you're like, talk to me, talk to me, tell me what's wrong. I think I'm anxious attachment. Like I, if there is confrontation, I'm like, I need this over now. Tell me what the issue is. And if you don't tell me the issue, I'm just going to tell you what my issue is.

Oh my God. That literally made my heart drop. I'm like, you can reply when you want. I'm not going to pressure for a reply or anything. I'm just like, just so you know, I didn't like that. Oh, that's how, that's how Larry is. Larry, me and Larry will get in a tiff and he'll FaceTime me. I'll be like, I really cannot answer the phone. I text this bitch exactly how I feel too. Let's get into that. Cause now you, I don't know. No, because I texted her exactly how I feel. She says, okay, thumbs it up. Whoa.

And then I face everything doesn't answer. It's really that easy, though. It's that easy, though. I was wrong? You were wrong. How was I wrong? Because you said that you... Four days left. Ooh. You can't count it down. Don't bring it down. It's six days. But I just blown you. You might want to go get cleaned. And I rebuke it!

Why'd you throw it on me? We're all literally deluded. But back to attachment styles. I'm anxious too. I get really nervous confronting people, but it's something I'm working on. You don't get nervous. I get nervous to do it. I do it because I...

- Oh my God. - No, I was like. - If this is how it's gonna be, we're done. - I see you. - You see me. - I see you. - Yes. Whose phone's ringing? - 'Cause I feel like I don't like, I don't like confrontation. - But I have to force myself to do it. - Yeah, because if I don't, then I'm just like, I feel like an idiot. I'm just like, well, now what? - I wish I was like y'all, but I think, hmm, why am I not like y'all?

I feel like I'm acting if I was like y'all. You think it's performative? Yes. For me. Like I don't, I'm like I need to sit and gather and be like, well you hurt my feelings because, but if I was like,

Like I can't even do like this type. That's why I've never been in a fight with nobody. Yeah. I had to force myself to do it. And now it's a habit of mine. Yeah. I haven't like a fist fight. Not since like middle school or like ninth grade. I never have been in a fight in my life. And there's bitches that deserve to fight. Where's the cigarette? I kind of think everyone should have like everybody who's been annoying. Like I've had my ass. Your glass falling. So I like feel like.

You've had your ass beat. I've talked shit and saw the repercussions of that and I feel like that taught me a lot at a young age. Like, I've... You got beat up? Yeah, I was tiny. I got beat up, like, twice out of, like, the seven fights I got into. Uh...

I was really killed by the offense on that. No, but I punched a kid. She was big. She was big? Why? Okay, so he like copied my Valentine's Day milk jug and like copied it verbatim. So I beat the shit out of him. My Valentine's Day milk jug. It was third grade. Like me speaking in text and I'm like, yes.

You get it. You get it. You get it. No, it was third grade and he copied my like, we brought milk jugs and then you like would customize them for Valentine's Day and he copied mine verbatim so I punched him in the face. Michael Golba. And I think I had a crush on him. I get it. You're seen. Hey. You get it. We're all seeing each other. Do you remember y'all's first crush? Can I help you? The gas.

My first crush? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, yes. His name was Alexis and he was actually my bully and he literally made me want to kill myself. Classic. No, he actually moved away because his family was just doing shit. Quite so.

but he literally looked at me i'm not even kidding verbatim was like none of your friends like his the friend group that i was in like none of us like you stop hanging oh my god and i sat in the like hallway and cried that's so dark that's sad well now you all have friends in us i know thank you that was a little play this feels performative no it's real yeah we're faking yeah and this is not real guys i don't do that and i don't know where the fuck i am i would i

I would cry all the time at school. Every time I got yelled at, I would literally cry and I would cry so much. I was such a sensitive kid that in fifth grade, my teacher, Mrs. Hollywood, um,

- What her name was? - Her name was Mrs. Hollywood. - I'm not even kidding. - Like her name was Mrs. Hollywood. - My teacher's name was Miss Vine Street. - Are you serious? - Miss Vine Street. - Miss Vine Street. - Yeah, the W Hotel. - Miss W on Hollywood. - Yeah. - But one time she yelled at me and told me that I was being a sensitive baby and that I never cried at school again.

- Oh. - 'Cause I got scared and I was like, damn, do people think I'm a bitch? - She gave you R.E.D. - My teacher. - She really, like, in that question. - I mean, I really was, I feel like Drew, I got close to Drew, but we didn't, I feel like our friend group didn't even get as emotionally close until like 2019, 2020, like.

I was so blocked off. I hated the idea of having a best friend. I thought that was so pitiful. It's weak to need someone that's like you. Yeah, I was like, oh, you, like, what? Because without your best friend, what are you going to fucking die? Grow up. Like, I didn't want to be close to people. I thought it was so weird. Because I also hated thinking that they could eventually leave me. Oh, yeah. Because I had had that happen already, too. I had kids I got close to who would, like, turn around and tell my secrets. And that, I was like...

So you're like, oh, no best friend ever again. I will never forget anyone. Yes. My best friend will be the internet. Real though. But now we got here. Now we're here. Now we're in the kitchen. Now we're with our emotional support gays. Literally. I love you. Straight, but. You're not. Still getting around to that fix on your car? You got this. On eBay, you'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers.

eBay has that part you need, ready to click perfectly into place. For changes big and small, loud or quiet, find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. eBay. Things. People. Love. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.

Oh, it's such a clutch off-season pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant those blackout motorized shades. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Hall of Fame's son? They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Blinds.com is the GOAT!

Shop blinds.com right now and get up to 45% off select styles. Rules and restrictions may apply. Business taxes. We're stressing about all the time and all the money you spent on your taxes. This is my bill?

Now Business Taxes is a TurboTax small business expert who does your taxes for you and offers year-round advice at no additional cost so you can keep more money in your business. Now this is taxes. Intuit TurboTax. Get an expert now on TurboTax.com slash business. Only available with TurboTax Live Full Service. Wait, I need you to talk about the darkness retreat so badly. Okay. Like dive in. Always want to talk.

Okay, ask me. What's the question? What's the darkness retreat? What is it all about? About the 16th billionth time I said this. We don't have to talk about it. No, we can...

- We can talk about it. We can talk about it whenever y'all wanna talk about it. - It just literally makes me laugh so hard, man. - The video is the greatest thing. - Honestly, what I will say is something I have always loved about the both of you is I genuinely do feel like y'all are both people that if you have an idea and you want to do something, you will just literally do it. Y'all just be like, okay, I'm gonna go and do it. - The darkness retreat though is like insane. When she told me she was doing it, I was like,

You go. I did that for my 22nd birthday. I turned 22 in the darkness. When I came out, it was all birthday bags. I'm not even kidding. I think so. The first FaceTime she called me, she was like, hi, Larry. Y'all don't understand what the fuck went on. Okay, y'all. A darkness retreat was when I, it was like, I seen it on my Instagram reels algorithm. It was people were moving.

You really don't need to follow Instagram Reels advice. It was videos of people taking off their glasses and looking around like they saw God. And I was like, I want to meet God. Let me go. So I call him and I'm like, I want to come join the darkness retreat. They're like, we don't have any availability to 2027 because it's so booked out.

And then they said, they called me back like a week later and they're like, we have availability from the 16th to the 20th. My birthday is the 17th. So I'm like, this is destiny. So it was in Portland, Oregon where niggas tweak. You went to Portland for that? That to me is scarier. Like being in Portland for some reason, like,

Yes, I went alone. There was a guy that met me at the airport. He like came in this broke down Ford pickup truck. He had one curl sitting up straight in the middle of his head. He's like, I'm here to hold you and guide you through this experience. And I was like, oh my God, I'm very excited. I'm very ready to receive. And I get into the car and the music, he turns on the aux. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the dude soundtrack. Yes. It's like hereditary music and we're driving through the woods. I'm like alone. There's no service anymore. Were you scared at any point? Like you were going to die? No, because like I tweak hard. I've always tweaked hard. I tweaked hard. And so like if...

You know a shroom? I was taking shrooms when? Yes. Long time. Microdosing. Long time. I tweak hard. I was like, I'm about to go into the darkness. Me God. Then I get there and it was on a commune. There was a wood-fired sauna. There was the darkness retreat, which were these cabins. Then there's this thing called a kiva. First, I went into the...

wood fire sauna and it's called preparing for the darkness where you just like chill and like acclimate to your experience and there was this woman that had like the most beautiful voice of all time and she's like but it was like gorgeous like better than beyonce type shit and she had two long filled with milk titties sitting on her lap and each of each

Sometimes it sounds like you're just describing like an episode of Super Jail or something. Like, what are you talking about? Wait. And she was singing with her titties out and we were all naked. And they all...

that is the ending of baby girl that we never got to see i was with nicole kinman and so then after i get out the wood fired sauna and i get ready for the darkness and i would probably do that for about two days and i get ready for darkness and it was like a house that had a room that was light proof like they went and got every shred of light out like not even a pin prick of light and it's like darker than closing your eyes and going in a closet like it's 10 times dark it was

insane level of dark and one side of the room was a wood fire fireplace and then the other side was like the room that I stayed in the room had like a bed a bathtub a sink and a yoga mat wait how did you do all that oh I did it like this I did it like this

How do you know you wiped all the way? Oh, I didn't. I know I have sticky cheeks. My booty hole would just peel. So it's crazy.

It's crazy what your body does when it thinks you went blind. So every time I would go to sleep and wake up, I would have a panic attack because my body thought I went blind. So it was trying to acclimate to that. They never gave me food like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They would give me meal prep for the entire next day every dinner. So I couldn't calculate the time by the time they brought me the meals. Oh.

I wrote in a journal the entire time in the darkness. Why was each paragraph perfect? None of the paragraphs touched. It's like all of your senses pick up times 100. I was in the darkness for 72 hours. I took a bath. I literally think I spoke to God. That was him. He's here. He said... I'm kidding. I dead ass think I spoke to God. I like...

And I really wanted to go into the darkness because I never experienced life without the internet and without this third point of view. I'm thinking there's an audience behind all this. I always am even thinking about myself when I'm talking to someone about how I'm being perceived all the time. And I feel like that would take it away. So then I did my three days of the darkness and I came out and I was like, yeah, you can feel... They asked me before I went in. You went to the video. Yeah.

Video so bad and I'm so mad that like the real talk about the picked it up all the other videos like 300 like Also got it on their timeline was like went to the page and saw all these people they're like what is Like someone took you know it does does people like I

this is the type of bitch that would get taken by a cult i'm like i hate y'all i hate y'all but when i came out of the darkness i what was crazy was i was so interested in like eye contact because i hadn't been around like another human for 72 hours i had not spoken to anybody but myself and so i was just so like i loved looking people in their eyes like i was like oh my gosh i see why they say like

The eyes is the whatever. Yeah, because I was like, oh my gosh, your eyes don't ever age. Like I can see you when I look in your eyes. Whoa, that's scary. Because your eyeballs really don't. But low key, I feel like my eyeballs have aged. Like I don't know something about the look of them recently. Don't do that face. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm like, I see something. Like something is withering here, but I just can't tell.

A darkness is brewing. I did the darkness retreat after I came out of the darkness. He was like, the guy who was holding me through the entire experience was like, you want to go into the Kiva? The Kiva is a 15 foot deep hole in the ground that they dug that has lint.

I could have been murdered. I could have been killed. Wait, what was in it? It was a 15 foot hole that you ladder down into the ground that's covered in linseed oil. And it smells like bleach down there. And there was like a whole bunch of rugs and pillows and stuff. And he was like,

here's the medicine that we should take on this practice. And it was a weed pen. And we both hit the weed pen and they closed the latch. Bringing the most modern. We hit the Crayola pack, close the top. It goes completely dark. Like the darkness retreat.

and he starts hitting sound, sound bowls. I swear to God, y'all, I swear to God, may God strike me down right now if I'm lying, I could see sounds. Like I could see like the vibrations and the patterns of sound because it was so dark.

I believe that shit. I know, I do believe it, but I want to do that, but damn, you're brave. I can't. I don't want to. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Can you do it with people? No. That would be fun.

- But they are also telling me different like ancient practices, 'cause it is an ancient practice to do a darkness retreat. And they have this thing called the vision quest that men in tribes usually do, where you go into a field where you can't see any people, any life, and you draw a kilometer circle around you and you stay in the circle, no water, no food until you get a vision from God. So you just drive yourself to deliriousness

until God speaks to you and you can't tell if anybody, like somebody's watching you, but you can't see them. - That's our next retreat, yeah. - I feel like that when I go to Air One. Every time. - The vision quest. - Literally.

Damn, bro, you're brave as fuck, though. Yeah, for real. I just, like, I don't... Also, I think I'm too lazy. Like... I feel that. Like, what? I would have to figure out, like... But the whole time, I could leave the room. Who are your favorite new generation content creator people...

- World of T-shirts. - Bitch. - Love him, I'm so sad for him. - I'm so sad. He was the one I was most sad for with the TikTok band World of T-shirts. - Oh, I'm not familiar. - Do you know Daniel Larson? - Yes. - Love Daniel Larson. - You love like the cryptic, you love the cryptids. - The cryptids of the internet. - Like who are your favorite new generation creators? And you're like, Daniel Larson. Like literally they are our age and they've been on the internet just as long. - Yeah. - I can tell y'all who my favorite girl is. - Who is it?

I was gonna say this is one of my favorite people right now. Oh, love Kay Poirier. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Need her on the pod. Genius. Shutdowns. Literally genius. A great mind of our generation. Let me see. Oh, is it a... No. Wait, there's also... This girl is so fucking funny. Hilarious. The girl who did the small talk be like, have y'all seen Thicky? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Bro, that is literally what it feels like. That's what small talk feels like when I take a Vyvanse and I don't expect to run into somebody and I'm like in a store with a mission and they're talking to me. They're like, yes! Where have you been? You're like, where have I been? We need to go get our coffee now. You're so good. Larry is king of small talk. Larry can make a bitch feel like that's his best friend in literally a minute and a half. I'm a triple camp.

That's such a good trait to have, though. I feel like I'm really jealous of that. That's also just all of us are extroverted and that's... No, maybe something's wrong with all of us. Yeah, no. I think there's something deeply, deeply wrong with anybody who has an internet career because we talk to a phone. Yeah. Yeah.

that's a camera we're disturbed we're disturbed deeply disturbed really disturbed they would have gave us all lobotomies if we were in the 40s honestly i wish i could get like a you know how there's baby botox i want a trial i want a trial run yeah i just want one for like two days they have one what so i'm really staying on it if you about it you really want that actually i'm not kidding in like two years i'll hit that right i think yeah i think it's like

that it sounds so nice like what my brain just is off oh that sounds nice that was what the darkness retreat did to me when i was quiet and i wasn't speaking there was nothing going on in my head at all yeah i need that like my my ultimate ultimate ultimate dream is to be in a coma for three months like put me to sleep for three months and then like all like all of my obligations just like dissolve away like oh drew's in a coma that's not gonna

- The second you wake up, it's gonna be like, "Hey, Drew, come here!" - Yeah. - Hey, just checking. - You have 18 things to do. I don't know if y'all had this, but during the fires,

Can we talk about the fires? Why are you texting me about a fucking Instagram post? Everything I own is in my car. Right. My house is about to burn down. I told my entire team to pause all of my work. We did too. And they didn't? No, they were like, we know you guys are busy, but like, busy? You're like, we're in the apocalypse. I'm like, so I haven't been home in three days. My house is literally on fire. I'm wearing the same panties.

My panties were a hard crunch by the time the evacuation was over. It was granola for the top of an acai bowl. Discharge granola.

Larry, what'd you eat? Where am I? Oh my God. What is happening? How are you feeling? Oh, Larry, everybody's like in LA like, ah! During the evacuation, Larry is in Hawaii like. Oh yeah, literally. I texted y'all. I was like, are y'all safe? And he was like, yeah, I'm in Hawaii. I'm good.

Or the world caught on fire. You already had that. I had it planned. And I didn't do trips. I didn't do trips. Oh, Larry already had it planned. I know. I was going to say, did you do the fire? Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell nobody. He's deep state. Oh, no. Deep state. QAnon. QAnon. QAnon. See, I hate you niche bitches. What are y'all talking about? Republican conspiracy theory. Yeah. It's like Texas shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, Candace Owens? Christian Walker. Wait. Oh, love, love Christian Walker. Candace Owens? I met him. I saw him in public. I was on a date and I saw him walk by. Wait, did you say hi? No, I wanted to so bad. I was so scared of him though. He's actually cuntier in real life. Really? I went up to him. He was like, hi, what's your name, babe?

I literally stared at me with this blue eye. And I was like, nice to meet you. Oh my God, you have such a good impression. Also, Candace Owens, speaking of Candace Owens. Why'd you just get up and leave? In his own darkness retreat. Oh, it's right here, right here, right here. But Candace Owens, speaking of, she

She took a video of me, of me frolicking around in a dress, uploaded it to her story and was like, this is why we need to bring back real men. - Did she lie? - She did not lie, not even for a fucking second. - Did she lie? - Not even for a single second. - Not even defending for a minute, well yes. - Well yes. And she put me with the likes of Harry Styles and someone else and I was like, wow, you think I'm like Harry Styles? - Taking it as a compliment, being like. - Now she put you in the same category, now she should.

Did you watch the freaking documentary with Joe Rogan and what's his name? Instagram guy, Mark Zuckerberg. Like the episode? Yeah, the episode. No. I want to kill him. He's so scary. Yeah. He's actually so scary. Genuine robotic. He's evil. Like genuine darkness. He's amphibian. Well, I feel like anybody who has that much power. Quinn is like scurrying around right now. Wait. Trey. Did she grab the suitcase? Mm-hmm.

Oh my god. BRB, you guys. Alright, we're back from our little break. I had to pee pee. I'm not gonna lie, I've had a... Well, we told them we were gonna go pee. Well, first Quinn walked away. Then the Ray walked away. And then I was like, okay, cool. We're all using the bathroom. I'm gonna go pee. And they just left. I think they left. They just left the house. Now it's just us. It feels empty. I miss them. They had a warmth. There was a warmth. It's so cold in here now.

I think I'm going to start drinking coffee. Really? Yeah. I'm going to start macro dosing caffeine. That'd be good for you. I think it would like elevate your senses. It's a neurotropic, you know? Yeah. Is it really? I do consider like caffeine a drug, which I don't think that's what you just said. It is. It is. Yeah, it is. All right. Because I'm addicted. I mean, you literally are. I, um, yeah, I don't know. Guys, seriously. Now they're running water.

Bro, I've had a really bad habit recently where I've been holding the fuck out of my pee because I don't want to miss a moment because I'm just so like, I'm so entranced in this beautiful miracle that is life. Yeah. You have FOMO for every moment ever. I do. So I hold my pee until I'm... Oh. Oh. Is that a quince dress? Sabrina Carpenter. Your cute little shoes are a little... Grabbing.

- Wait, this is so important. This is so major. - The movie was so good. She's an incredible performer. - I think this feel about being in queer media. - Are you guys still in character or are you excited for Wicked 2? - I feel like we were never in character. - I think this is just us. We finally figured out how to come together and make this movie. - So y'all have schizophrenia. - What's that?

Are you guys, like, how close? Like this or like this? Tell her how close we are. Tongue in ass. Tongue in ass. Tongue in ass? Just guess whose idea this was. Whose idea was this? You know what's even crazier? This is her. No, you heard it. No one hears it. Wait, I didn't hear shit. Let's do it again. Yes! Don't ever do that shit again. Oh!

I like your smile y'all want a gag this is Quinn's Halloween costume oh wow you have a back vagina

Tiny tiny I know it's gorgeous. Wait, what was this? Was this gonna be Glinda? What was yeah, it's supposed to be Glinda. I didn't get the wine

Fuck, I wish I got a scepter. You know that Gentle Monster package they were giving out? Yes. Destroy them. I saw that. I was like, I want the scepter. I want the scepter. You got it? Yes, and I got it today and I didn't bring it. But literally all the way here. Gentle Monster is everything. I love Gentle Monster. I know, it's so good. I can't breathe. This was literally my bot. Oh, I was recording how dirty my car is, but listen to what I was listening to. Take a message back from me. You manifested us. Hey, hey, hey.

Take a stare, sister. When Ariana Grande was like, yes, sister mother goose. She literally is. I didn't know it was a musical. Oh, really? I didn't. Have you seen it? I did see it. I love y'all's love. But I didn't know it was a musical. So when they started singing, I said, oh, yes. I haven't seen the movie yet. It's so good. Y'all would love it. I'm not kidding.

Other side. You have a white fleck. It's gone. Pretty, pretty girl with the white fleck. You look pretty as green. Is your pussy green? I know you actually do look good green. Thank you. Yeah. My pussy isn't your problem or your business.

Period. That part. Wake up, America. My pussy. Clock it. Pussy in power. Yes. Is that what it was? I protect my penis. My pussy bites back. My pussy has really strong penis. I don't like gays who call their penises get pussy. I don't like them. I actually don't care about them, but it's just like, boy, you got dick involved. Just call it what it is. It's going to stain my face. No, you're good. Yeah. What is the face paint, though?

It was just a face stick that I put on. You think it might stain? I don't think it'll stain. Go like this to your lip because I'm curious. No, no, no. Oh, you're good. You're so good. Yeah. Is there a hue? Maybe we take it off. Maybe we take it off. I kind of like this dress. You look good. Yeah, that's indefinite. You have a good body. Have you tried it? Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Or Elphaba. You're glad it's Elphaba. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wait, are we going to do Elphaba? Yeah, yeah. Elphaba. Elphaba. Look at that beat.

Needy tuck. I never seen it. Have you ever seen his dick? No. You know what's crazy that you asked? This is crazy that I wrote this down actually. I think I literally was gonna ask if y'all have seen each other naked. Smell this. Oh! It's baby diarrhea. It literally smells like the pussy tree. Ooh.

Oh, it really does smell like the vagina trees. I have the vagina tree right outside of my window. What's the vagina tree? You know the like pussy willows that smell like... I think they're like magnolia trees, but they smell like vagina. Oh. No, it's so good. And that came off so good. And you have such good skin. Yeah. Gorgeous. But... She's melting. Stop burping. Sorry, my son. Mrs.

Ariana and Cynthia have a weird vibe. Yeah, y'all. No. Oh, I mean. Yeah. We know that. No, I don't, girl. Don't try to make me in this masculine light. Remember her mascara, y'all? Yeah, I do. You heard Young M.A. era. I want to see. Oh, Quinn had a mask. You know. You know. Did I actually have a mask? No, you didn't. No, you didn't. Yes, you did. Period. He gagged me. Gag it. Gag it. Who was he? I don't know.

I'm trying to think of like the craziest. Honestly, like I would. No. I was like about to say something that I like. I'm like. I think I've told too much on this. I can say something. Who wants to do secret time? Let's clock them again, sir. Let them know. Talk about me. I literally can't for all of us to be like old and like crazy online. Like I literally I can't.

- People who make fun of Tokyo Tony, I see where he's coming from. - He's so real. - Tokyo Tony is everything. - All of the older women who are online and people like to make fun of, - Fishy, fishy. - All of the older women who people make fun of,

I can't even, I'm like, yeah, I literally see her logic. Tokyo Tony? Yeah. I love her. I'm like, I see your logic. You're just brave. You're literally just brave. You're a soldier. See, that's the thing with like a Tokyo Tony or like these bitches that is crashing out. It's like, they funny like on the internet, but then people's like, you should collab with them. I'm like, that energy, I don't want to be in the same room.

Tokyo Toni can make me crumble. If she looked at me with them eyes, I was like, bitch, I would turn to ash. I would literally just turn to ash. I'm going to watch the compilation when I get home. No, but I fear that's going to be us. That's why I'm saying that.

I can't wait. To feel Tony? I rebuke it. That's going to be you. I'm not. I will for sure be on IG Live. I'm going to be cruising. Me and Drew are going to be cruising. I used to watch cruising porn. That's crazy. Cruising porn is when gay niggas put their dicks under a bathroom stall and like jack off but not look each other's face. I wasn't even talking about that. I know. Why do you know that? Look at her. You're locked in. I was talking about like especially

- One has notes. - That's your secret. - My secret is I know what cruising is. - The secret is the cruise. - Maybe I have dick envy. - Not that I can understand that. - I can see that, 'cause there have been times when I'm watching, I'm like, okay, literally no fair. - I wanna be the guy. - Right, right. I wanna do the penetrating. - Y'all literally can't, oh, you wanna do the penetrating. - I do not. - Yeah, come on, Kai. - I don't wanna be the guy. - No!

Wait, y'all screaming about literally being like, maybe we could work at an emergency intercompany. Like, no! That was so real. It was real. I literally called Larry and said, I'm about to crash out. I'm about to crash out. I'm about to crash out. Join live. Join live. Join live. Join live. That was so funny. The thing is, TikTok genuinely could have died and I don't think that's getting rid of Larry. Larry, y'all wait. This is Larry's secret. Larry, I never seen somebody so fucking happy.

You guys are nasty. I've never done the biting stuff during sex. Have you? No. You say, Larry's like, fucking give it to me. I'm like, oh. That's your joke. You're like, oh, definitely. You're like, ew! Because, you know, have you ever seen like, like, like, okay, straight girls in porn be like, fuck, baby, fuck, baby, fuck, baby, fuck, baby. But that's what you, I'm one of those girls during sex. Oh, maybe I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is me during sex. I'm still trying to think of a secret. Girl, we're over that. Girl, you're late. Have you ever had sex with one of your friends and then y'all are friends and then y'all don't date and it's just like, huh, that was crazy. No.

See, maybe it's a girl thing. Yeah, I've done it. I have only done it with like two people, like done that with two people because I'm like overly attached. Same. If I like someone, I'm like... Yeah, I get attached to you. Same, same. Yeah, I'm like, what if we get married? And then two years later, I'm like... I don't want to get married. Actually, never mind. That's how the car is.

-You think? -Robotic. -You touched your calendar, Josh. -No, I kind of get the hype. -I love this. -I want Chi-Chis. -I like it. I like Chi-Chis. -Your Honor. -I guess. -That's it. -Wait, let's do a media and then we can tap out. -Whatever you all want to do. -Just music. -Where are you going to go to Pilates? -We're all going to go to Pilates? -After. -Oh, I'm sorry. -Sorry, y'all. -I didn't know. -I did.

i want you to go to pilates in this i would is it aloe um hot at yoga oh oh i used to love going there i i'm not good at yoga and stuff anymore i almost fainted last time i went and i'm scared a lot of the girls been fainting during the workout it's like girl stop trying to alexis run just do it for the health i know no i i just i almost knocked out because i literally just couldn't like

Like I was, I had it worked out. I literally, we had it worked out in like a year and we went to this new gym and we were like, fuck it, let's do a yoga class together. And I hadn't pooped that much in so long and it was hot yoga and I was standing at one point and I went to bed and I went, I literally just like went to the floor because I was like, and I had to leave early. It's so slippery. I hate it. It's slippery and hot. It is hot. It's like hot yoga. Like when you do your gay orgies. Yes. And when you just, can I watch?

Oh, yeah of course. We should have one. Yeah, let's do it. We should do a party. I'm down for group sex. Kyle, you wanna join? I would love to join. Okay, beautiful. Let's do it. This'll be fun. I can wear this. I would love to wear that. No, no, no.

You're so sweet. Submissive. You're so sweet. You're so cute. No, Larry goes, you're so sweet. Submissive. I got your back. Dom or Sub... Girl, let's end it. Okay, so... She does this all day. No, but you know what it is? I'm like, Tom Roboto. I'm getting...

like doing this and we're just talking I'm like oh shit we like need to shut up yeah okay we'll do media we'll do media what's media just like name a song you like in a movie you like any ever okay song I like right now is White Ferrari by Frank Ocean and my favorite movie right now is Blink Twice Zoe Kravitz I haven't seen it are you checking the letterbox yeah I was gonna look it up on letterbox wait I wish I could read you my letterbox

Reviews are so good. What's your app? I don't know it, but I'm not gonna say it. You didn't do your, um, you wanted to read him your things that David sent you. Oh. We got some- Can't get my phone. Trey, can't get me my phone. It's on the floor next to the luggage, please. We got something for you. Ooh. You want me to read them all? Yeah, read them all. I can- No, yeah, you can read them all. Like, I don't- I don't like reading. I'm dyslexic. I'm so bad at reading out loud. Thank you.

Hey girl. Okay. The glass crunching. Okay. Are y'all ready? Mm-hmm. Ugly bitches be like, my man gotta be six too. Bitch, you make me sick too, my stomach. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen that one already? Yeah. Ah. Okay, tell me one that's one you haven't seen. Chicks be, chicks with that little light mustache be cool as fuck. Like, you know what, Unc? You all right with me. I haven't seen that one. That one's good. You know what, Unc? I haven't seen that one.

Oh, that's a good one. Sex outside is fun until a mosquito help her suck your dick. That is awesome. I got five more. Stop asking my broke ass for money. I said, I'm chasing the bag. I ain't caught that bitch yet.

Send that to me. I'm gonna send that to my family next time they ask for money. Okay, this is it to you. Okay, the crunch of the glass shard. I know, oh, that's like in the rain. With the cables, it's really cooked in here. Okay. White people be so extra. They be like, is that you, Tom? Well, show a stick up my ass and call me a corndog. Okay, two more, two more. This is my favorite one.

Oh my god. Wait, I got too excited. I started stimming. When the dick good, you can get her to do anything. Bitch, go fry me some cereal. I was just talking last night about how I wish I was a royal in the fucking 1800s or 1600s so I could just be bored as fuck and be like, I want to eat snake today. Go get me a snake. I want to fly. Make me fly. That's

I want to fly. I would just say shit like that and they have to do it. Like what you're going to be beheaded in the town square. Like I want a car. What's a car? Figure it out. Make me a wheel. I want to fly. Make me. When you said that, imagine you would like the puff. Just getting thrown over the edge. Make me fly. Right. Right. Wait, is there one more? Oh yeah. I was having fun. I like one more. I know I want more.

I want more. Give me more. More now. Stop saying you dating a thug just because your man smoked weed and steal from Walmart. Oh my God. Wow. That was amazing. I think that's a great way to end the episode. Yes. Yeah. Well, thank y'all. Y'all's meeting. Oh yeah. My song is Flow by Philip Glass. Movie. I don't, I haven't watched a new movie in a very long time.

Fantastic Planet Nosferatu. Perfect. My movie is wicked. Guys, please go see these stars on screen. They're beautiful. Performances change lives. Thank you guys so much for giving us the time. Love you so much. So excited. Thank you. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

You smell so good. Like, both of you smell so good. Thank you. Also, that's how I knew they were here because I came into the apartment and I smelled something good. And I, unironically, because I had music playing on my phone because I thought you guys weren't here yet. And then I smelled something good and I turned off the music because I was like, they're here. It smells good in here. That's not, that's not. That could have been me. No. No, okay. You usually smell like a best dose. It's my chair. Oh.

Yeah, it's my asbestos chair. I almost said something so nasty. Okay. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you guys actually so much for being on. That was so fun. Long time coming. Thank you for having us. This is the best podcast I've ever done in my life. It was a movie. Thank you guys for having us. I'm so happy to know y'all to this point. I hope we know each other for so many more years. Ten more years. Oh, we're gonna be all old and crazy. Four more years! Four more years. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon. Boom.

- Wait, is that the Costco, the boom? Is that what you're doing? - Boom, boom, boom. - That guy who was like, and four booms for his dead brother. - Aw, your brother died. Aw, four big booms for his brother. - I thought we were Alt Talk. I thought you got that down. - I know, it looked like it. - Do y'all remember Alt Talk? - Yes. - I feel like I sadly would, like, was I there? - Are you visiting the tree? Are you gonna be to the tree? Is that Alt Talk? No, that's Deep Talk.