Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. I can't believe this. Where are we? How did we get here? I don't know what's happening.

What the fuck? Also, I thought you were actually like... No, I literally am gagged though. I'm like, holy shit. I know, I'm like... Well, first of all, welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I always say that, welcome back to this episode. Welcome to this episode. So, you might have seen what happened last week. Because that song is a fucking classic. Dude, I fucking love that song so much.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh wow. And fuck that hurt. That hurts so fucking bad. Trap so old, gotta run out the house before the roof fall on me. I kept seeing that comment. What song is that from? It's Laser, Laser Dim. Like when I was like,

like talking about him in like a few episodes before i mean i was talking about him a bunch before but then i saw someone like make an edit to that song and they were like this crossover is like horrifying like this should not this should have never happened but no shout out um yeah well shout out laserdim and also shout out tmg because we have a studio now what the fuck and um

yeah i like literally don't know what to say about it i mean it's about damn time like we've been in that damn kitchen that damn for so long and we finally have our kitchen back y'all it's so great like it's gonna be a movie i was literally last night i was like damn we gotta start cooking again and yeah and i was like that doesn't even fucking sound like that doesn't sound like something we would ever do also like i could imagine me cooking because like it's in my dna as

- Period, period, yeah. Like serve me. - You don't even eat. - Serve me, yeah. Be submissive, like just in general. - No, no, no, I wouldn't say that. - Women should just be submissive in general. That's what the Bible says or whatever. I've been reading the Bible a lot. But no, I broke my fucking neck.

Because the roof decided to target my head and my head only. See what happens when you're a good person? Yeah, actually. I was unfazed. No, wait, that was very manly of me. That was giving bring back real men. I don't think so. You didn't shove your head in front of mine to make sure you weren't damaged. Also, to clarify...

My neck, when I went to the hospital after that, they were like, oh my God, everything about you is so straight. Your spine is straight. Your soul is straight. Your mind is straight. So I don't need a neck brace to keep my head up because I'm a warrior in this life and my head is always up. And Drew, they were like, okay, so not only is your neck not straight, but they were just looking at him and they were like, I can see something here. Something is seriously sinister and off here. Something is very dark. No, that's not true. I'm straight. Wait, Kaid, are...

Have you made sure these are actually on? Yeah, they're recording. Can you hurry? You're moving slow as fuck. One sec. Oh my god.

It's so embarrassing. So it's this mic? Don't, I didn't say touch it. I said, did we do a mic check? I don't even know why you're like, you're covering me. Oh, I'm sorry. It's this, it's this. My hearing's gone and I'm kind of drunk too. Why would you be drunk? You can barely walk. He's in pain. You gotta let him have it. Go, go, just go. Like move faster. Like move today. I smelled the alcohol on him. I know, he reeked. I smelled it.

I think those are the clothes that he got crushed into. Yeah, randomly. He hasn't changed. Randomly, he's been wearing the same clothes for a few days. Also, this just came to my mind. I saw this clip and somebody tagged me in it. And it was like, I can't stand when podcasters are like, all right, what time are we at? Yeah. No, literally, but we do a good job at cutting it out. We cut it out. Yeah, we cut it out. Also, it was funny because one of the top comments was like,

Oh, he just, yeah. He just fell. He just fell. Sorry, guys. If your body is going to fall on the floor, be silent. Okay, well, I need the crutches because both of my legs are broken, so. That's okay. Does that have anything to do with you? No. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, why are you telling us that?

but somebody wait we got a studio like look where we are y'all i know this is big it's like so funny because um it's like i deserve this so it's like how grateful can i be when it's like deserving we worked very hard we worked very hard and you better be fucking excited and if you're not excited i will find i literally don't want to fucking hear about it if you have comments you should go to your journal i write it down or your therapist challenge um

But yeah, it's super exciting. It is funny now we have to actually leave the house for work, which was a struggle this morning. And you yelled at me when I woke her up. Look at me. No, wait, can you actually move away?

Oh my god, did you put a fucking mirror in my thing? Yeah. Well, you have to be useful to me somehow. Dude, I could feel it like literally cutting my neck. Like the- the- there's like- can you see? Yeah, I know, but that's how I know you're not a giving person is because you're already like putting on me- like you want to help me, but you don't because you're putting it on me. Then why offer help? No, this is fucking crazy. I'm just used. I'm just used, used, used, used, used. But anyways-

We got that out of the way. Let's like tap into the episode and just like go in. Let's just go in. No, I'm going home. Okay. So something I've been thinking about a lot recently. So we know like we had the Zandemic and now we're going through like the Ozempicdemic. Ozendemic. Ozendemic. Ozendemic. Ozendemic. But...

What no one's fucking talking about is ozempic babies. They're going to be hella ozempic babies. And I don't know if we did the research in the study on... Is it like Accutane babies? Also, I just realized I have my lean cup. Double cup. Like I don't have my double cup right now, but I did drink a bunch of lean to like ease my... Anxiety. So you can sleep a little bit better on set. No, like think about...

like ozempic babies like that's a thing like you know like zika virus babies when their heads get really small like i'm imagining like them all coming out like hella premature and tiny well is it like kind of going to be similar to accutane babies i don't know i'm not a doctor but i just know something seriously is gonna okay so you're not a doctor and you're making assumptions yeah so none like see you always sit on this fucking podcast and you're like oh i just have this bad thing where i just take information from tiktok that's me with you you just say things to me

And I digest them as facts. And then I'm going to go and be the idiot with other friends and be like, did y'all hear about the Ozempic babies? Like, who knows what's going to happen to them? No, like I'm a class act misinformation spreader. Like that's like my whole gig. Like we know this. But no, no, no. This is strictly theory. Like,

I have theories. Where do I take my fucking theories? Me when I'm making a TikTok and I'm scared of getting into a legal battle. So I said allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Well, I had a George Harrison moment last night. So if y'all don't know...

I am somebody who I recently, in the past six months, found out... I guess now it's been a year. My year anniversary of finding out that George Harrison was in The Beatles. She listened to George Harrison and actively, while she was listening to George Harrison, she was like, fuck The Beatles. I don't want nothing to do with the fucking Beatles. Fuck them. They're evil. They're wicked. Meanwhile, she was listening to The Beatles. I was listening to The Beatles. The Beatles. But...

last night i was on tiktok and i saw a clip from like the abba like hologram thing and i was like you don't know about that they do a crazy hologram concert it's like a full concert and they have like ai or i don't know how the fuck they get them to talk i whatever so but this is where my brain was at first i was like how are they talking about 2024 like all those bitches are dead bitch i think

all of ABBA was dead or something. They just don't want to work anymore. All of them are alive. Oh, they're alive? Yes, I looked it up and they're all alive because I looked up living ABBA members and then it was like one of them is still performing. The others like just choose not to. And I was like, what? And I clicked this other thing and it said all of them. All of them are like 71, which obviously like also like, I mean, you don't got to get up and like... No, we got to make the geriatric people perform. I'm tired of people...

stealing all of my social security and just sitting and rotting away. I would say I don't know if ABBA needs your money.

They took all of my social security, specifically ABBA. I know it. Like, I'm targeting them. But yeah, I thought they were all dead. At least you, Kai, you not knowing that makes me feel good. And you too. So I'm like, I'm not the only one. Oh, wait, was that your moment? Yeah, that was my moment. I thought all of ABBA was dead. Oh, we're dumb as fuck too, because I genuinely thought they were dead. I just like literally found out about ABBA like two days ago. Like, I don't even. Oh, I've known about ABBA. You guys should do a hologram of emergency room combo. The hologram of Drew should be straight.

for the it's not possible ai can only go so far like it like they're bound i'm over here now if you want to hit me are you gonna hit him oh just one okay i'm dying well now now that we're with tmg we have to watch how often that's the only thing that's going to change is we can't hit kai as often they said it's like an hr violation i paid off the producer so he won't oh we can hit you yeah i paid him i have to pay him pay them off to be hit

I don't know, that's something I have to work on therapy. But Drew, as long as you know that you're good, you can hit me as much as you want. - I'll never forget the first time. - Ew, he like licked his lips as he said that. - I'll never forget the first time

we hit you like the clip went like kind of not everywhere but like it got like a lot of attention and like it reached the other side of the internet that like have no idea who the fuck we are and they were like oh my god like wait why is everybody acting like this is normal and then all of our like viewers were like in the comments being like well like he deserves it like yeah he hits him it's not that deep and he was like so his boss hits him all the time like and it was just like so

- I remember I commented, I feel so bad for him. And then people were like, oh my God, this is the guy that got hit. And then people were like, how do you feel about this? And there was a moment where I legitimately could have become like a martyr for men's rights. - But instead you were like, wait, no, I felt bad for my boss. - Anyways, water speakers. - Anyways, so water speakers. - Y'all know,

Like, Deere and Vine era, there were these, like, fucking speakers. And if you know, you know, we'll insert a video of them playing, like, fucking Usher or some shit. Like...

They are the most magical things, I think, that... They entranced an entire generation. Like, they were, like... I don't think I ever have seen one in real life. I got a pair. I literally ordered them, and it was, like, $80 for those speakers, and then I found them in Main Event. For, like, the worst speakers ever. No, no, no. Literally, like, six years later, I found them in Main Event, like, an arcade that, like... For, like, 500 tickets, which is, like, the equivalent of, like, 60 cents. Like, literally... But the way those, like...

I think actually shifted something in reality. Like genuinely, like I feel like that was when like we all got consciousness was when water speakers like first became a thing. Damn. Like I just can't fucking say shit. Like this is crazy. I just like, I was trying to think of what like water speakers have been in my life. And I think I've seen one video of them ever. So I think you might just like, was I in a bubble? Yeah. You know,

Am I just like talking? Well, wait, how old were you when those came out? Like three or four. Water speakers? No, I think you were older. You had to have been, if you saw a video of them online, you had to have been like. Like six or seven. But it was like 2000, what, like 2014, 2015 when they were really making waves. What is, yeah, yeah, it was like seven. Wait, 17? Is that the math we're doing? I'm 14. I've been 14. Yeah.

I stay 14 forever. Forever 14, y'all. Challenge. Is that like a thing people say? Like I'm forever 14? No, it's like when people die, they like are like solidified like forever 27 or whatever. I'm thinking about joining the 27 club this year. Oh my God. Or next year. Or in 10 years. I did. I did join the 27 club.

I killed myself. Girl, you were really late for your registration. Oh, shit. Wait, what's the date? A long time ago. Late registration. Oh, look. There's water speakers. Yeah, I'm saying I don't know what those do for me. I think you might be in your hyper fixation. You saying that, what you just said, would be the equivalent of you being like, everybody was obsessed with coral reefs. We all know that. I mean, they were. No.

It's like your special fixation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is why I love you. Someone, I had a coral reef and I put thousands of dollars of money that I should not have been spending when I was like in high school into my coral reef.

And it was around this same time we were doing the P word tour, the tour that won't be named. - The P word. - And I had like a group of buddies that I would do like coral reefs with, right? Well, I went away on tour one weekend

I came back or I got a call from my mom freaking the fuck out and she was like, it's collapsing. The tank is collapsing. And I was like, yeah, you're exaggerating. And then she FaceTimed me and like literally the water was like cloudy. It apparently stank. Like it was like death. It was like necrotic flesh floating around in the water. It was like fucking crazy. And I was like, how did this happen? I checked the water parameters like literally two days ago. Like this is like a full tank collapse. Like this is impossible unless...

copper is introduced fuck you unless copper is introduced into the system why was there like extreme levels of copper because i dropped the pennies in that no dead ass like it like it completely collapsed and i think one of my fucking ops got jealous of my tank and they dropped like a couple pennies or some copper in there you and threw a penny in there like probably but it was in the sump and like no one knows no one knows but in the sump what the fuck is the

- It's like the filtration system. You put algae and rocks. - The most I know about fish tanks is I'm not kidding from that Nemo scene. That is the most I know. - Burping and farting. - And I only know those things because we just watched Nemo when he's getting in the filter and stopping it from moving the water. - Yeah, damn, that is literally a masterpiece. Did we even talk about that truly, how good that movie actually is? - No, but I think we might be actually two decades late to talking about it. - Did it win any awards?

I don't know. I can't imagine. I feel like it won an Oscar or something. Nemo winning an Oscar? Oh, it won for best sex scene. Oh. Wait, what? They didn't win that. I think we're talking. Wait, I don't think there's an Oscar for that. I think we're talking about different movies. Yeah. Multi-billion dollar damn deal. What? What are you looking up? I'm just, I don't fucking know. I'm using my phone now. Yeah. Um...

I'm still not over ozempic babies. Like we kind of like flew past that. Like there's the Zika virus. Are people more people getting pregnant because of ozempic? Like I saw that it was increasing the risk of getting pregnant, which, yes, I do believe being pregnant is a risk. And that's why it is a risk to your life. You get diagnosed with it. Like I feel bad. A lot of the people I know in my life are going to be diagnosed with pregnancy. And it actually makes me so sad.

I just don't like... Bro, I've said this so many times. Also, I don't think anybody watches this and is like, oh, I can't wait for her to be a mother. No one has ever had that thought about me. Mother. I can't wait for you to be a mother. I can't wait for me to be a daddy. Oh, period. You know what's actually fucking crazy is Mother's Day was yesterday and I only got like a couple thousand happy Mother's Day DMs and comments and posts and shit, which was actually...

Like, kind of fucked up because I'm mother to, like, a lot of you bitches out there. There's no way anyone said anything to you. They'll come back around on Father's Day for us, Kai. They'll say Daddy's Day. For Daddy's Day. Ew, y'all are fucking disgusting. I'm giving Daddy. They should make MILFs day. Yeah, true. It's a callback. Actually, no, fuck that. Wait, Enya, they should make MILFs day. Oh, wait, for me? Okay, well, I literally just made that joke, so. Wait, what?

I just made that joke. I think you're hallucinating because your fucking head got hit, Kai. I think you're over. Both of my eyes got gouged out. Well, we need to talk about people who do squirrel like skydiving. I made a list because this was pissing me off yesterday. Surfing is also so annoying to me. Like, I think part of that comes from envy because I wish I could surf. But also like, bitch, swear like you're like, I don't know.

I've been surfing before. I've never been surfing. I got sand in my wetsuit and it literally felt like it was like, okay, there's like this Gerald, Texas tornado. It was like one of the most evil tornadoes ever. And it literally like was sandblasting people's skin off. Like, sorry, that's like really graphic, but that's literally what was happening. That's what was happening to my fucking foot with the sand in my wetsuit. It was over. How old are you? Like 10? Like 12. Dude, I

I would pay money to see a video of your There's a video there's pictures of it It was like my Facebook banner for so long Because I felt I felt so fucking cool Because I was like yeah I surf And that was like really impressive You're from like a landlocked state So people were also first of all just amazed you were near water Exactly Lake Granbury which has like brain eating amoebas In it like trying to surf And you had me jump in it Yeah we did jump and you got water up your nose That's probably what's wrong with you

- Wait, holy shit. Surprise! So not only do we have a new studio and a set, but we have merch! - We wanna apologize in advance because it is very, very limited quantity. We know it's gonna make some of y'all mad.

But we will be doing our usual anniversary restock. We just had some cute little designs we wanted to get out to y'all in the meantime. So don't fret. Don't fret. But this shit goes live. Emergencyenter.com right now. You can go pick it up literally right at this very moment. Emergencyenter.com. Yeah. Oh, wow. Look at this piece. I love this one. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

Oh my God, who thought of that? Love is designed. Wow, what a genius. Okay, bye y'all. What's up, everybody? We wanted to take a quick second to hear from our sponsor, ZocDoc. Oh wait, y'all, I literally did go to the doctor. What did I go for? I don't know. You always just go to the doctor, which is why you use ZocDoc. You might be the only person who maybe uses ZocDoc too much, which could be a good thing because you stay on top of your health. But Drew is a perfect...

example of how easy it is to use ZocDoc because I will wake up and he'll randomly be like, oh, I have to go to the doctor. And he never, yeah, he never mentions it to me. So that means he just gets in bed and he sits down and he thinks about like what to do and just clicks a bunch of buttons and goes to the doctor the next day. Y'all, it is so easy. It is so easy. I'm not telling y'all what I went for though, but there were a couple of things I went for and everything came back clean. Thank you, ZocDoc.

ZocDoc for keeping my friend alive. Yeah, I definitely need to go to the doctor soon. So I need to tap in and go to the dentist. But I'm not even in a rush because with ZocDoc, you can get an appointment as quickly as within 24 hours. ZocDoc, if you don't know, is a free app

and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Once you find the doctor you want, you can book them immediately. No more waiting awkwardly on hold with a receptionist. You can sort by if they take your insurance or not. All of these doctors are patient-reviewed

credible and they treat almost every ailment and condition under the sun go to zocdoc.com slash intercom and download the zocdoc app for free then find and book top rated doctors today that's z-o-c-d-o-c.com slash intercom zocdoc.com slash intercom um squirrel jumping suits piss me off like why are you just jump like that just pisses me off surfing pisses me off and then the one where people put the

fans on their back and they like what is that called like para what like paragliding yeah paragliding is it called paragliding what is that called the big fan backpack

- They have like a parachute. - No, I don't know what the fuck that's called. - It's so fucking dinky. - It's called doing too fucking much and you need to go home to it. - It's so dinky. I know someone that's like getting, like training to do that. - How do you train to do that? - I think you literally have to have like a pilot's license low key, but I could be spreading misinformation. - Oh, it's called powered paragliding. - Power paragliding. - See that shit? No, I will defend that because it gives funny, it's like goofy.

funny okay i have to take this off because it's literally like actually cutting my throat like i'm gonna have a line oh your neck is red do you want me to rub it for you is it red actually also i was overheating in that you need that i have fever look at that that is so embarrassing okay imagine this like hypothesis or whatever the fuck this i'm weird i'm

My neck and arm aren't broken. I did break my collarbone before. Permanently deformed me. Well, I've never broken a bone because some people like me have integrity. Well, I popped my prostate when the ceiling fell on me. You broke what? I popped my prostate. No, that was me. No, that was me. You had a pre-popped pee. That is fucking embarrassing. Imagine this. You go on a date with somebody. Like everything...

It goes great. Everything's going good. Everything is so amazing. Same humor, same music taste. Like you heard their families are like a little fucked up just like yours. And you're like, oh my God, we can connect. But they still have a good relationship with their family because they're like, they've just seen it through and like, whatever. All the things that make a partner your dream partner. Then you go, you date them for like two, three months. It's going amazing. You're like, oh my God, I just found my lifetime partner.

They're like, oh, we should go on a fun date. Like I have this thing I really like doing. I haven't told you because I was a little embarrassed. And in your head, you're like, oh, what's the embarrassing thing? Like fucking ax throwing. I don't know. Some other embarrassing thing that someone shouldn't be doing. List of things people shouldn't be doing.

Murder. You go to a date and you see this motherfucker already pre-prepped in this. I'm not kidding. I think I would turn around. I wouldn't be able to hide my laughter. Really? You're not paying me to get in that. I'm not getting in that. I feel like that would be so right up your alley. Minus the alley. Oh, wow.

No, like that gives you, like that's like your outfits you wear. That is not my vibe. That looks like you. This is the meanest thing you've ever said to me. That is not my vibe. Yeah. I just gave a whole hypothetical about how this is my nightmare and you're like, wait, that's literally right up your alley. No, no, I get it. But like I, I would love it personally. It is at my alley. I'm going to hit you in the head. What? I literally would.

It looks stupid. If I saw you in that, I'd beat your ass. I'd rip the wings off of the fan, like the blades off of it and start smacking you with it. But that is my nightmare. And I don't know, yesterday was actually pissing me off because I can't believe like, but then I get it. The squirrel shoots, I agree.

The squirrel suits. Yeah, I would say I'd rather see a motherfucker jump out of a plane in a squirrel suit and be like, okay, that's my bae. They're crazy. It is. Wait, wait. Actually, I do kind of agree like comparing the two like the squirrel shoots are kind of like cunty like, like, damn, like this is like action packed, but

that is like literally goofy. Also in my head you can't get more than like four feet off the ground with that. I don't think I've ever seen a video of something like that. No I've seen a video of a guy that goes to McDonald's who just gets like a hamburger. Yeah he literally like actually goes through that booth. And he flies like into the fucking clouds. Yeah. They like literally travel around in it. Wait I'm actually so confused. I don't know if I've seen a video of them moving. I'm actually the only video I've seen of it and this is fucked up is a guy falling from the sky in it. What? Oh yeah yeah we saw that. There was a video of a guy and he's like ooooh

He knocks the wind out of him. I think he broke his neck. I can relate. You've not broken your neck. Oh, the bungee incident. I'm sorry. You're telling me that you're seeing this and you're like, that looks like me. That was mean to myself. Like, no, this is humiliating.

Drew arriving to a Grindr date on that? I'm writing a movie. Yeah, no, me pulling up to a date. Like, no, they don't get high enough for this. Flying into the parking lot of Equinox. Yeah.

- Yeah, no, it's really like-- - No, they go up, they get high as fuck. That wasn't a good example. They get high as fuck. - This is like an over exaggerated swing, which is also an Ichimine. - Swings? - Men shouldn't be on swings. - I agree. - There's nothing sexy to you about seeing a man be free and fly through the air like that? - No, 'cause I don't like that one. - And be weightless?

No, like we need to bring back real men. Like I've been saying that for years now. It's back under the forefront of my brain. Like men shouldn't be swinging. Men shouldn't be eating fruits of any kind. Like I'm dead serious. I mean, this is a classic. Don't fucking take selfies in a mirror challenge or in general. You know what? I can get past a man taking a mirror selfie. A front facing selfie is too much. Yeah.

A mirror selfie? Because a mirror selfie is like a fit check, whatever. I could see that being like whatever. And I'm like, okay, we're getting a view scope of the hands. Do you have tiny hands? Yes or no? We're getting a view scope of that. Because one thing about me is if I think you're bad, girl or boy...

I'm looking at those damn hands and you better have good looking hands because I'm going to be pissed. Do I have good looking hands? Yeah, you have good looking hands. I have really ugly. I have like feminine hands. I give like femme fatale. I do not think you have feminine hands. I do. I do. Just because you're going like this doesn't mean like you're like I have feminine hands. Beautiful, pretty hands. But yeah, that's really embarrassing to me. And I don't know. But also we don't have to get into like my gripes with men because a lot of it is just like deep seated misandry. And I experience.

accept that and I do think men should be free just not around me agreed agreed that's my boundary um okay have you been seeing the New York City Dublin portal yes and I'm jealous I want to go so fucking bad I think it is the cutest thing that's happened to humanity in a very fucking long time like even all the wrong shit that they're doing in it like I saw like a video of like someone like in Dublin holding up like 9-11 to the screen and everybody in New York was like

Freaking the fuck out. Like for some reason I find that funny and wholesome. I'm not going to explain any further, but my favorite moment that fucking happened to explain it. If you haven't seen it, some artists put up like a big screen with a camera in New York and a big screen with a camera in Dublin and it's,

if you're on the camera in New York, it's projected onto the screen in Dublin. And if you're on the camera in Dublin, it's projected on the screen in New York. You can't see yourself. So like, you're just like basically FaceTiming without seeing yourself. And it's just like connecting random fucking people. But the best moment I saw, and I have not, they like fucking scrubbed it from the internet or some shit. My ear is ringing. Someone's talking shit or I'm about to die. I have a theory that if your ear rings, you died in that moment in like a past life in some, some way. And yeah,

I think the lights came crashing down or the TV. All I've been thinking about this whole episode is like the TV is exploding behind me like and like I fly forward. I'm sorry, but the past like one minute straight of you talking has been the most insane thing ever.

Like, first of all, you're claiming there's a wholesome TikTok that they scrubbed from the internet. Well, no, you haven't heard what it is. Okay. Oh, never mind. Oh, is it the guy showing his butt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he like literally gets in front of the camera. It's all dudes in New York. Not from a wholesome TikTok.

- Just wait. And he like pulls his pants down and like spreads his ash cheeks and his balls are like dangling down and like his pants are around his ankle. And like every dude in Dublin is like laughing and every dude and girl in the comments are like, that's Dublin for you. Like that's us for you. Like that's our culture. And they're like owning it. And the dudes in New York that were like witnessing it were like crying, laughing. And I don't know. I just thought it was like a funny moment. Why do we sexualize bodies? Like let's talk about that.

I think we should all be naked more. Inya and Kai get naked in front of me now. I don't want to. Kai, you don't actually have to. Don't do that. Because I don't want that. I want that. No, no, no. But free the penis and free the nipple. I don't know about the penis. Free the penis and the balls. No, especially no. I don't think that should be freed. Free the penis, balls, and the nipples. I think I would be happy to never see...

an unwarranted penis ever again you're gonna get 300 dm'd to you by me do y'all remember y'all remember how toxic my unsolicited nude arc was no dude wait what you did that yeah i was just like sending so many nudes to random people for fun no that's like illegal you shouldn't even like say you're doing that no it was like it was funny wait to who are they in my dm can i find them now yeah to me and to everybody i sent it to um

Two things about Drew. One, I will never take him commenting on me saying I have a stomach ache ever again, because I've realized Drew has been under my nose this whole fucking time because everything you eat, everything you eat, you're like, oh, I should have gotten that yesterday. He got KFC. He gets KFC like eight,

times a month I get KFC once every three months because it hurts my tummy he went on like a KFC like crazy girl vibe no no no I did not I got Popeyes I got chicken filet like um chicken filet yeah also last night he

I don't know what we were talking about, but he's like, who's that rapper? The British drill rapper, Little CJ. Little CJ. Who am I thinking of? Central C. Okay. And then kept going. I was like, your brain went from Little CJ to Central C? Where did the J come from? I don't know. My mind works in mysterious ways that a lot of people wouldn't understand, but it's advanced.

But Drew does this thing where he waits till the middle of the night to order food. Then he comes to me and he asks me about his food for 20 minutes. And any advice I give him gets thrown out the window. I'll be like, oh, get that. And he's like, no, I don't want that. And he just wants to hear me talk. And I'm like, honestly, respect, because I never decline. I'm down.

You always suggest like fucking like bunk, like real restaurants. Like I'm trying to eat like nasty, like greasy food. You want a 3D rendered meal to sleep. That KFC chicken, like you have to agree on the Postmates app went crazy. He showed me a picture. I was sitting on the couch, high as fuck watching Sex and the City. And he starts laughing to himself. He was like, I'm crying laughing because I actually unironically just saw this. I was like, oh, that looks so good. It is literally a clay like drumstick. It does not look real. It was like the least,

it was the least detailed piece of food I had ever seen an image of and Drew was like you can't lie and tell me that doesn't look good and even in my extremely high and hungry state I was like Drew that doesn't look real like it looks flat literally in the state I was in I was hunky boots as fuck and it looked so yummersville um

But I need to go back. I do not get KFC eight times a month. Okay, KFC is the only thing that hurts his stomach, though. Every, like, three days, Drew will be like, I don't know why I ate that. My stomach feels awful. I'm literally, that killed me. I literally, I genuinely trauma blocked that then because I don't remember. I do remember last night and I was like, damn, I'm, like, talking to her about fucking tummy. Like, she always talks about her tummy and I make fun of her for it.

That and Drew was trying to convince me to sleep in his bed because I was laying in his bed. And I was like, you have had 80,000 meals in this bed and have not washed your sheets. So I'm just reclocking you. It's like in the studio, we have to rebuild the aura. And we used to talk about your dirty sheets a lot. So I have to remind the public that Drew has dirty sheets. Okay. Yeah.

No, I do not. I do eat every single meal in bed, but I make sure not to get crumbs in my bed. And if I do, I pick them off. You do eat them on your crumb catcher. Yeah, I make a crumb catcher. I like get the bags that I get the food in and I make like a big like tart.

And I like eat over the boxes and shit. Yeah, no, I've been watching you eat a lot. I scared the fuck. I mean, it's it's hard for you to not see me eating because I'm like always eating and serving all day. You're never eating. No eating happening. And then at night I'm like, oh, my God, the one time he can eat. But it's inside. No, no, no. I serve and I eat like I'm constantly devouring the competition. No, no. That's what I meant. Like you do not eat all day. And you're a bitch.

But I was laying on his bed and I realized I was literally just, ew, look at it. I know. It looks like a cat leg. Like if you like cut a cat leg off and deep fried it. I was like laying on his bed and I realized I was just laying on the quilt that's like covered in crumbs. And he literally just like, he goes like this and drags this quilt across the end of his bed and puts all his food on top of it. Then when he's going to bed, he like just slides it off. And I have like literally like,

Probably like 100 minutes at least of video footage of me eating these meals because I was convinced for like months that I was going to just like start uploading TikToks of my midnight meals. And I started editing them, got lazy and stopped. But like,

It's also crazy the food that I eat. Like, I'll eat, like, a big fucking meal, and it'll be, like, some fast food place. And then I'll have the leftovers from last night joining in on the party. Then I'll have, like, some sort of hot chip, some sort of chocolate, and some sort of candy. And then I'm like, damn, I'm, like, pre-diabetic. Like, I got to change something. And every single night I'm eating candy and chocolate and chips. I will say living with him is fun because if I'm hungry at night, I just go to Buffet de Drew. Yeah. And I just go into his room, and I get to have bites of everything.

Buffet de Drew. I like that. Chateau de Drew. Also, you know what I've realized I feel like on this set right now since we're like new to it? I feel like I went to somebody's house to hook up with them and I'm like sitting at the edge of the bed with my purse. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Like that's exactly the mode I'm in right now where I'm like getting comfortable as time goes on. There will be growing pains. We'll get used to it. We'll get back to it. But like, yeah, for the first 10 minutes I was like...

"Oh, this is different." Like something is-- - 'Cause we don't have the scary energy that our kitchen gave us. - I know, I know, I know. - Oh, actually, I need to talk about something 'cause y'all, okay, in the last episode, y'all had a lot to say about my pit stains. I sweat too. Like I'm a girl, but I sweat and I fart and I poop and like-- - No, girls don't do any of that shit. - No, girls do that. Like I am like the example. - And girls can't come and I don't even wanna hear you say it. - Well, I guess you wouldn't know from experience because like when's the last, have you ever, hello?

No, girls sweat. I got Botox put into my armpit, so I don't sweat. I actually want to do that so bad because y'all are making me insecure. See what y'all are doing to me. Y'all are making me literally consider Botox. They want to tear a pretty girl down. It's always the ugly girls tearing a pretty girl down. And it's not fair. It's not fair. I looked at some of the people who were making fun of me and they were really good looking, so...

They're all hot. I mean, yeah, it actually like truly is like curious that every person that listens to this is randomly the most beautiful person. I unironically have never like met someone in person, but like this motherfucker is ugly and they were a fan of us. So like we just attract like pretty attractive. The aura. Yeah. Like we're artists.

What the fuck are you talking about? I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. But what was I saying? You opening the episode with like, oh, Zepic babies. Yeah, it's allegedly, it's a theory. I don't know. And I mean, like, I'm in a hurry. It's all, no, no, no. I'm saying right in this episode, in two years when the Ozempic babies are like sentient or like being borned,

Y'all are going to reference this clip. That's all I'm saying. You're going to reference that and be like, damn, Drew is onto something with that. Like their bones are going to be neon and brittle or something like Accutane. Has anybody ever had neon bones? Why is that? Accutane. They gave people neon bones. Neon bones just sounds like an indie sleaze band from like 2012. Yeah. Oh my God.

Like neon bones would be like a lit name. That's a good. Wait, that's not a real thing that people had colored bones. Yes. Wait, why is that so bad? People that take. That's not what I'm. That's not what I'm saying. No, but no, that's what I'm saying is like. Yeah, literally. What? No, no, no. Acutane gives people neon bones. They give them neon bones. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying is like, is that like bad scientifically? Like what are we like? Oh, my God. Neon bones are bad for your health.

I don't know. I just know it happens. Imagine being like, you know when you donate your body and they like slice you into thin pieces of salami meat and they look at your bones? Imagine having colorful bones. Okay, no. Kai took me to a scary place.

- I did. That's my bad. - Kai took me to a very, no, no, no. In your defense, we were talking about it like a month prior and I was like, I wanna go and experience the art world because they're like dead-eyed as fuck, like really creepy, scary vibes. And you were like, oh, I've been, something's coming up.

let's go experiencing it together or experience it together. No. And we went and it was just as I thought, like they're crazy. Obviously all the people we knew were like normal coded as fuck, but like there were like the billionaires walking around or no, literally 80 year old guys with like,

see-through skin that were like coming up and sniffing us and shit. Hot girlfriend. Like it was crazy. Well, they were sniffing Drew. They weren't really sniffing me. I know. Wait, did you see me like getting rizzed all over her? Yeah. It was, it pissed me off.

It is annoying that Drew pulls baddies. It actually pisses me off because I've realized like a lot of y'all thirst over me. Thank you. Thank you for doing your service because I do not get thirsted after in public. And you know what it is? It is because I've said this in an episode before, but although y'all find me charming or what, actually, I don't think any of you find me charming. Like, so that's a big statement to make. Although y'all thirst over me for whatever reason it may be.

people in public see me and maybe they're like, oh, she's kind of cute, whatever. But then they come up to me and speak to me and they're like,

Well, I think it's because like because I don't get thirsted over either but I think it's because we're like statuesque and like we're intimidating intimidating and drews like an easy like oh I can back and drews kind of like, you know in those montages where they take off the glasses The glass are still on he's very approachable. Yeah, so people will just be like flocking towards him Yeah, and like yeah, we're alone. But once you get your baby filler and y'all are both Okay. All right, dude

I mean that actually was too far sticks and stones may break my bones but your neon bones sticks and stones may break my neon bones period um what the fuck were we talking about before we're talking about your fucking art show that y'all went oh no no no no we were talking about how sexy hot I am and approachable I am I don't think that's a thing y'all are giving like medusa oh okay

Y'all give Medusa. Medusa had a homie. Medusa was a baddie, though. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, the whole thing with Medusa, she was so sexy that you would like forfeit. Oh my god, Kai, we are Medusa. Like so sexy that like you know looking would turn you to stone, but you want to do it. More like Shrek and Fiona. Well, Fiona had a ghiattatouille, so. Okay, no, we're done. Well, Fiona bone smashed and look smagged.

I can't fucking say shit in front of y'all, damn. Anyway, we went to this art opening. Drew had an incredible time. We got a bunch of attention. Yeah. There were some old guys that Drew kept on being like, who is that? I would turn and it was some guy that looked like fucking George Soros. And I was like, dude, I'm not connecting you with this. Dude, that was at the gym. Was it yesterday?

I saw this man and immediately I was like, I know this motherfucker is going to say something to me and I was already laughing and I hit the elevator and the guy walked away and he's like, you know, he was in front of the fucking water station and I was like, damn, I need some water all of a sudden. Hold on. And I was like, going to lean over but I was like, actually, I'm going to respect his personal space and then I went back to Inya and I was like, I need water. And then he

And then he was like, I actually love, I love something in there. I'm going to go get it. Um, yeah, I love something. I'm going to go get it. And I was already laughing before. Cause I was like, I know he's going to say some stupid shit. I left some shit in the locker room. And he happened to be gone. In that moment, I did look at you and I was like, wow, this is like literally my friend for life. Like I'm not even lying. Like I had a thought because also I saw really like, this is not me commenting on you. You already know how I feel about you. But,

Emily, like Emily June, friends with Drew Mac, she made like a really funny TikTok where she was like, a lot of y'all, what you need is the unconditional love of a twink because it will change your life and get you through everything. Thank you for clarifying you're not talking about me. Yeah, I'm not talking about you. But I do genuinely believe like the connection I have with Drew is like so beyond... Like also people like...

like for anybody who thinks we actually fuck like some one of our friends said that to us the other day and I was like girl like really look at us right now you're not wrong you're not wrong like we don't anymore we stopped because it was bad for our mental health no hella people literally hella people literally do think we like have hooked up in the past before and like

I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. Yeah. No, but this is my bae for life too. And you know how I know that is because like you can like go and like go be with like whoever you want to be for a few days, but I'll always be back and we'll always come back together and be together and rot in bed. And I was thinking, cause there were a couple of moments where I was like a little bit insecure. Cause I was like, damn, like she's not spending any fucking time with me. But then I really thought about it. And I was like, no, she always comes home to me. Like literally.

Exactly. I was like, I'm gonna let her go do her thing, but like, I'm gonna stay here. Cause I will always go to your room and, uh, be high. Yeah. Be high. I was trying so bad to go to sleep. I was dropping like hella hints. I was like,

Like, oh, I'm just so tired right now. And then he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'd be like, oh, fuck. I'm going to like. And I kept him up for an extra hour. Yeah. Well, the thing is, Drew doesn't close his door. So to me, it's an open invitation to walk in. Yeah. And even when he does close it, I do this. I act like I give a fuck and I like knock and I just push it open. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like sleep with my closet in my bedroom door cracked. I feel like it has bad energy if they're shut.

Well, I've been going to sleep with my closet door wide open and literally at night like a small child. I look at the like the void black space and I actually see and I'm not kidding. I don't look at it again. When I turn off the lights, I lay in bed and I see it and then I just look away and I do my best. Oh my God. I forgot to tell you about this. But do you remember when we had those like mixing bowls on top of the refrigerator and

Anytime I would go to the bathroom at like midnight or whatever, like in the reflection, it would be dark in the kitchen, but the lights would be on. And I'd look into the kitchen in the reflection of the bathroom mirror and I'd see those bulls. And I'm like, who the fuck is there? And it was always like, I'm not kidding. I did it like six or seven times. Like I did not learn my lesson. And then I moved on.

I need to start scaring you again because I scared the fuck out of Drew the other day when he was eating. I was talking to Josh in his room and then I went into the hallway and I was standing at the crack of Drew's door watching him. And I watched him eat and just exist for two minutes without him noticing. You know when you're about to scare somebody, it gets to that point where you're like, this is really weird. I'm just looking at them and they are not acknowledging me anymore. And I was like, this is really creepy.

I had no idea. I feel like a creep. Like I was watching and I know he did. What if you started doing those fries? Do something like really fucking embarrassing. Would you have like just turned around and not said anything?

It depends on what it is. Like, what if I started playing with myself? I was about to say, you, like, put your hand in your pocket, but, like, you're not even conscious of it. You're just, like, playing with it. Well, no, because it would, like, okay, not to, like, out Josiah, but Josiah's one of those people who literally always has his hand in his fucking pants when he's sitting around. It is so fucking nasty. It's comfortable. You literally would not get it. I know. I get it, bitch, but I save that for the comfort of, like, now me and Orion will literally just be laying in bed with our fucking hands.

their fucking hands on our coochie like we'll just be like sitting around like that so we i save it for the comfort of with my homegirl in my bed um doing unforeseen things but we let's talk about unforeseen things you want to talk about it no this is actually on topic but have you guys seen what they're making now this it was at the gallery they were serving this it's a product what it's called box water that's been that's been a thing for like a decade now kai

They milk the clitorises. And it's not the box you think. No, that is not the box you think. That's disgusting. It's like a... Why is that disgusting? I actually... They're selling box water? What is the... You think that's okay? Hands made tail. They hands made tail squirt juice into the box water and that's why it's named box. Never seen that show. Neither have I. I just know they like...

trap women or something like that like make them get pregnant so you're insinuating that the company box water is holding women captive and yeah also i think i'm wearing your socks today you are so i hate when my fucking leg hair shows through my pants we should get you waxed

No. Would you let me wax a part of your leg? Yeah. Because your reaction would be really funny. I would let you do it. Yeah. Because I know you wouldn't hurt me. Would you let me give you a long ass massage? Yeah. Are you certified? Why are you offering? He's a certified freak. Yes, sir.

A three hour massage. I need to go back to the KFC thing. I just need to make it very clear that I only eat KFC once every few months. You're so defensive that I think you do eat it a lot. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. Oh, no. You know what? He fucking ate. Bitch, don't even get me. Okay, because KFC is better than this. I will say I did have a bite, but I was not in the state of mind to give a correct opinion on it. But Drew ordered a hot dog with mac and cheese on it.

It was good from Wienerschnitzel, y'all. And he was like, ooh, it's so good because the mac and cheese and the hot dog are so fake. Yeah. It was good, though. It did taste like the way I remember food at my daycare tasting. Yeah, it was very plasticine clay, like never drying clay. You have to bake it to dry it. But, um...

Um, that hot dog with the mac and cheese was good. But when you dipped it in the mustard, it elevates it to another fucking level. Y'all, it kind of tastes like, like bile. Like, you know, like stomach acid when you have like acid reflux. Why do you want to taste that?

Cause it reminds me of my childhood. I melted all the enamel off my teeth because I would have really bad acid reflux as a kid. And when I was asleep, it would like bubble up into the back of my throat and just like sit in my mouth as I slept at night and just melt all of like the minerals off my teeth. So now I have like demineralized teeth and it's really fucking sad. And like,

I have to go to the dentist more often. Drew was talking to me about getting veneers. I want veneers. I think you would look so good with slightly oversized veneers. I was thinking about veneers, like cheek, chin implants, like a little nose contouring, like maybe a little facelift. Because when I do this, I go crazy. Hey, you're perfect the way you are. Thank you.

I love you. Okay. Yeah. But I said you're perfect. There's a few things you could change to get to perfect. Like there's a couple little neurotic things that you do. Oh, so they're all mental? No, physically too. Oh, okay. I think like bigger boobs. Why would I need bigger boobs?

I can't with this shit any fucking more y'all. No, no, no. Back to the party of me being hit on. Yeah. Like it always has to come back to it. It was crazy though, dude. Like people are so attracted to you. You're so magnetic. And sometimes I feel like you can't see that within yourself, but everyone else does. But I actually don't give a fuck about that. I'm so lonely. And I brought you there to get attention and all the attention was just sucked away from me.

Kai, no, people were like obsessed with you. Yeah, you're low-key right. You knew everybody there. Yeah, tell me more about that. People were obsessed with you and people loved your aura and like you just like know how to communicate with people very well. And I was like taking notes the whole time because I was like, damn, like I am a fucking monster talking to strangers slash people that don't know who I am already. And yeah.

That's something good that Kai does. And in you, something good that you do is you're just a powerful soul. Like when you walk into the room, all eyes are on you. Yeah, because I'm loud as fuck. No. Like no one's like, oh my God, this girl, who is this girl? It's literally like, they're like, who the fuck is making all that noise? And then they turn and it's me. And they're like, oh. No, you're a selfless person and you teach people how to love. It's true. Thank you.

Wow. Anything else? No, I'm going to change the subject really quick off of Enya being so amazing and just say that I don't fucking feel like I belong at this studio. I don't feel like I belong at Tiny Meat Gang. Why? Because of the name?

Because I have a huge... Oh my fucking god, bro. I thought you were going to say something for real. No, I just feel like my shit is way too big to be here, so... You probably should, like, stop lying. Because maybe that's why, like, you feel alone is because you lie a lot. That may be it. Yeah, I think that might be it. It's possible, Kyle. I just had that feeling that you feel when you realize someone said some real ass shit to you. Yeah. And it just, like, I was like, oh shit, like... I can't remember the last time I felt that because it's usually me saying the real ass shit.

Oh, bitch. You know what we didn't fucking talk about at all? Okay, so... This is funny. This is funny. So...

I went and got a facial and shut the fuck up. Not that kind of facial. Like I needed... No one was going to say that. No, everyone thought it. Anytime I hear the word facial, like, oh, I got a facial. The first thought that comes to my mind is like, oh, like you got a facial, like period. But no, I got a facial like six months ago. It was during like the emergency intercom pop-up era at Heaven. And I...

Did it like for a week and two because I was like I got it like a few days in advance because like by day two or three like your skin looks like perfect y'all change my life I want one every fucking time I like need to do anything like I swear to God like I

It changed. It like literally shifted. You already have good skin. I can't stand a bitch with good skin talking about something they did to make it better. Like you already have good skin and don't let that get to your head, bitch. That's genetics. That has nothing to do with you. I take care of myself. No, you don't. I eat good. I take care of myself. You're proof that like you either have good skin or you don't because with the way he eats, he should have like boils forming under his eyes. Boils. Hold on. I'm looking for the chat log.

shiny well i think i want y'all to diagnose me and tell me if this is normal um

because i know i'm like i have germaphobic tendencies but i was thinking about the other day and it was actually cracking me up because azul had a fucking turd stuck to her butt and i had to clean it but i just taken a shower it was horrible we had to like hold her down and it was just like this big fucking thing and it was so annoying but i literally was so mad because i was like i just took a shower and like i'm so annoyed because now i really feel like i need to wash my whole body again um let me know if you would also feel like that that

That's it. After it, I just like licked my hands clean. Okay, so I got put into a group chat with 16 people. And the numbers are very bizarre. They're very bizarre numbers. And I can't put it in here because I don't have any of their numbers saved. Or maybe I'll just add fake names so it takes them off so I can screenshot it. But the first text was a wire application and instructions. So they literally sent me like...

for $8,000 and I could have robbed them fucking blind but I'm a good person and then they started every single person texted in Korean like every message is in Korean and I translated it and they're like why are we in this group chat like I think you accidentally put me in this group chat like uh

I've been here, but I shouldn't be getting this message, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then someone said- All normal responses. Yeah, yeah. Someone said, hi, Debbie. This is Dr. Phillips' wife, Beth. Me and my daughter are on this chain. Okay. And so I responded with a picture of me from my Met Gala look. Yeah, your Met Gala look before you left for the carpet. Yeah. Did anyone say anything to it? They said, we are going to remove ourselves from this conversation. Okay.

And then I said help help help help me no help me please help and then I sent two more and actually I'm gonna text them back hello are you getting my messages seriously we'll see if they respond back but that wasn't funny actually.

Yes, it was. Hey. Was it? Am I funny? No, you are the funniest person I know, which is actually annoying. I don't actually think I'm funny. I think you're funny, but like you literally your existence is really funny to me and not in a demeaning way. Like, I think you're the most interesting person I've ever met. Like, you know, sometimes when I hear you speak, I look at you and you freak me out. Yeah. Just my brain is wired differently. I see the world. I love the way I see the world.

I'm gonna wait if I'm on the way you see the world would freak me the fuck out that's how it's all the world because you like sometimes you talk about something and I'm like like why is your brain making up so many things about this it could be so simple yeah I'm I'm special and next time I'm on a date um this is how I'm gonna open it we're gonna be talking for like three to five minutes and then you're looking at me I'm gonna grab their hand I'm gonna yawn because I'm like oh this date sucks I just want to hit

I just love the way you see the world. And I'm going to go, where'd you go? Hey, I'm right here. Where'd you go? Come back to me. Come back to me. Come back to me.

is that a good is that real y'all let me know i think if you did that like actually i love the way if you go on a date soon can i come and watch yeah actually just like literally that would actually be so fun like i would love to watch us like as if the other person involved wouldn't be mortified if they were being stared at yeah because i feel like anybody who you would go on a date with would obviously know my existence in your life so the problem is they would see me across like this bar like restaurant be like

why is she here like we just happen to be a costume yeah yeah wear the big hat i'll wear the big hat the trench coat and i'll tie my hair back um fuck what was i gonna say no my acapellas yeah dude the thing is i leave drew at home alone all day and i'm like out hitting my social errands like seeing the people i need to see and i come back to drew and first of all no no she leaves me alone um

alone with my thoughts for hours. I just stopped inviting Drew places because every time I do, he's like, no, I'm busy. I don't want to. I gotta watch Tornado compilations. I have to watch a basketball game Tornado compilations and also be on my phone. If I don't get 10 hours on my phone, I might die. Yeah, no, literally. No dead ass. But, okay. Well, I came home and he was showing me what he's been doing on his phone and it was freaking me out. What freaked me out the most is, I don't know if you saw the video he made with Azul.

No, I'm texting them right now. He recorded a video of Azul of him terrorizing Azul and I was like, who did you send that to? And he's like, nobody. So he just has a video of him like across the room like terrorizing Azul and Azul looks so fucking scared in the video and I thought he would have sent that in the text. Nope, it was just for him and then I got a text from Drew like, what was it Thursday or Friday last week?

- Wait, what is that? - I put a shit in the bathroom. - The thing is-- - This one's gross, Anya. - I wanna see, I wanna see. Ew! - Drew, let me see. - Drew! They're so nasty.

It's just like the third most disturbing thing that's happening. When Drew has a goatee, something shifts. Like I feel like that's when the San Andreas fault shakes a little more is when Drew has a goatee. Yeah, no, it's really, it's like the nastiest thing. You look really creepy. Yeah, no, I literally look like a fucking creepy monster. Last week, Drew texted me. He was like, oh, and you left. I'm alone. I'm going to kill myself.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to pull up because. And then when you pull, by the time you pulled up, I was already home. I knew you weren't actually going to kill yourself, but I was like, oh, maybe he is like sad. Let me just like pull up and support him. And I get there. I was in a dark place for like 30 minutes. I get there and he like scurries down the stairs and like cracks it open. And he's like, oh, come in. And I come inside. I'm like, all right.

Like, are you good? What's going on? And then he shows me what he was working on, which were like these schizophrenic ass acapella covers of songs. Also, the songs sound nothing like the songs. You and me thought one of them was like Bohemian Rhapsody or something. No, we got to play them. There are songs that don't exist. Hold on. There are also like keys that don't exist. Okay, so. I'm a lineman for the county.

This is the most cooking. And I drive the main road. Search it. Oh, here we go. That's me a terrorist. Inside you. This is the one that we, like, me and Kai literally could not understand what was going on. Girl, I have no idea.

It's the baritone. I will say, I don't think these are necessarily easy to make sound good, so I can't go that crazy. No, they sound good. I download the app and I don't even have the self... They sound good. I have too much pride to even try. They sound good. No, they don't. Dude, those do not sound good to me.

Somewhere someone special must be. Somewhere someone. Somewhere someone special. I love you subjecting us to listening to all of that. Yeah, no, I'm going again. How many did you make? I thought that was it. I made four. Was that four? Yeah, you played four. No, we didn't. What is this one? Sitting in the backseat of a black car. With arms over my hips and I am.

- Didn't we talk about us reading the Nemo script in the voices? - Oh no. So I've been doing this thing. I mean, we've been doing this thing. I'll like just start, like I found this website that like has like literally thousands of movie scripts and I'll just like go on there and read them. And it's like actually really entertaining.

But me and Enya in the living room the other day, I pulled up the Nemo script. And it was the first time in my life I was like, oh, my God, like we're giving like theater kid right now. Like, I don't know. We are like really annoying in that moment. I was like, we are so fucking annoying. We were in the living room with like three other people and just taking the floor and performing for them. They never asked. They weren't laughing. Like they did not give a fuck. And we were crazy.

Crying laughing it was fun, but basically I played Marlin As Gabe Marlin game Marlin and Rob the kids

Go back to the anemone. Yeah, we read the opening scene. Yeah, I think we did good. I think Rain has a video she could send us. Oh, really? She recorded you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Send it. Rain was probably the only one amused. Everybody else was like, what? I give actor. When's your next break? When's your big break? Coming soon.

Dude, I'll never forget when Ivy was at your guys' apartment. And like, I think it was like me and Josh just sitting on the couch. No, I was there. Oh yeah, you were on the couch. We were all there. I know, but like everyone went to Enya's room and it was just like me and one other guy on the couch. I forget who it was.

I think it was Josh. I don't think I was there. It might have been Josh. We were just like sitting there in silence and Ivy was like performing these Broadway songs. Like screaming at the top of her lungs. She literally performed to all of us for like an hour. Yeah. And everybody was crying laughing. She is a fucking star, y'all. Like she has the it back or whatever. It was honestly one of the most prolific. But then everybody kind of got overwhelmed and left. And it was just Kai and Josh. And she was still like performing. She didn't even notice. Yeah.

Like she was dancing in every like tab dancing upstairs neighbor activities. Well, you're right. I owned a fire belly toad.

No, you didn't. Yeah, when I was younger. No, I know. When I wrote this note down, I was like, damn, I can't believe I've never talked about this. But I owned a centipede and I owned four fire belly toads. And I was terrible at taking care of them. Did they die? Yeah, eventually. Eventually. But the millipede that I owned, I was so fucking proud of it. I was genuinely like...

Because I wanted to own exotic animals so bad when I was younger. Like I was fully convinced like right now in my life, like at the place I'm in now, I would have like a...

like basically a zoo in my house. Like I wanted every animal ever. You wanted to be one of those YouTubers who has like 8 million animals in plastic containers. Exactly. Exactly. Like I wanted like a thousand geckos and like it was, it was like awful energy and I probably would have been addicted to opium as well. But they, um, uh,

I had my millipede one day and it was crawling all over me and I loved holding it and it would like crawl up and down my arms. And it was like, like, it was actually cute to me. And it would like curl up into like a spiral and I would like hold it and it would sleep on me. And one day I was walking down like a hallway in my house and like, no, no, no, I, I, that's probably no, no, no. So what happened was like, I started smelling like a

musky like musty scent and I was like what the fuck is that and then like my centipede is like crawling up my arm and for some reason like in this moment I was like filled with fear of that thing and I went and like flung it off and it like hit the ground and bounced and I was like I started screaming crying because like there was like nothing in me that wanted that to happen like for some reason I just got freaked out of it like because it was on my bare skin and I just like

flung my arm and it literally freaking died and i was like seven or eight but i was like mortified i like cried for weeks and my parents were like we can go get another one we can go get another one and i was like no me with your bug no literally when you killed my fucking moth with vinegar are you saying the musky smell was the centipede i think it like sprayed or like i think it was drew hitting puberty and not understanding it and smelling his own orbit and then looking down smelling it even more it wasn't like

bo it was like like you know when snakes no like i think it like released like a juice bugs fart i know there's some bugs that can shoot acid out of their fucking ass i'm not kidding they spray acid like all over bugs and like kill them and shit um well i saw a video of somebody sobbing before going down the aisle of this man and i don't know like uh-huh like a wedding i

And I don't know if I would be flattered by that. Like if somebody was like about to marry me and they were sobbing before saying yes, I'd be like, wait, we need to unpack. There's no way. Like I've had very happy moments and I've like teared up, but I don't know if I've like sobbed unless it's like a breakthrough with depression or something. But no relationship as happy or sad as they made me have made me sob like that out of happiness. Yeah.

Yeah, somebody was sobbing before tying their life to me legally. I would be very concerned and I don't think I would be flattered, but I can see how it can be flattering. I want my spouse or soon to be spouse to be maniacally laughing like the Joker during the wedding. I want mine to be laughing like the Riddler, the Rizzler. Okay, well.

media of the week um kai made fun of me but i was reading the metamorphosis and reading metamorphosis by what is it franz kafka uh yeah well actually in his defense i was like describing the book like it was my own idea um and kai was like you mean kafka like what um and yeah it's cool it's really fucking dark and sad

I've got a bunch of sad fucking books. Anything right now. Yeah. I've never read a book that made me like, I'm happy. Like, I'm happy. Every book I've ever read has made me so fucking upset. Yeah. I don't know. But it makes me feel good. Like seeing other people be sad. It makes me feel good seeing other people. Well, because it makes me feel normal. Okay. Normal people scare me. I've been listening to the same music like for the past few months. I've been in like a perpetual hole. That's Drew's situation too.

Drew's also in that situation. Yeah, and you could never be, sis. When was the last time you were in a hole, let alone a perpetual one? So, yeah. I got you thinking. I fell in a hole.

- Hi, my name is Carmen Winstead. I'm 17 years old. I'm very similar to you. Did I mention that I'm dead? I was pushed down a hole. - Fuck, I really don't have anything, guys. I've been listening to the new Raven Linnaeus song, Love Me Not. That's a good one. - Love me, love me, say that you love me. - My friends asked me for a bunch of albums and I'll give them to you right now.

Carrie and is it Lawal by Sufjan Stevens? How the fuck do you say that? Carrie and Lowell. Yeah, Carrie and Lowell. Sufjan Stevens. How do you say it? Sufjan. Yeah, Sufjan Stevens. I love that album. It's really good. Then you played a song off this album and I started listening to it. Again, Oil of Every Pearl's On Insides by Sophie. Rest in peace, goat, goat as fuck.

And then I made Kai listen to an album and it was like, I'm keeping it for myself, actually. I'm keeping it. I'm keeping it. It's top secret sauce, y'all. All right. Well, mine, I'm just going to say a few songs that will always make me happy, but in a sad way. Goodbye, Don't Meet, I'm Gone, Carole King. I said goodbye to me, Harry Nilsson. And I've been listening to Uncle Ace by Blood Orange because of

And then I'm still listening to the McD album like a bunch because that album is so good. Candy is one of my favorites right now, especially after watching like the live version. And yeah, I really need to do some deep diving on music because I've been in a loop and it's scaring me.

but I do find new songs but then I just become obsessed with it which I think is like a big habit of mine like I become obsessed with the same songs and I listen to them like a hundred times and yeah but also now that I have a car again like I can actually listen to music and I think not having a car I realized how much less I was listening to music because like I wasn't listening to it while moving around I was listening to music in my friend's car but yeah that's it and I'm trying to think movie oh we re-watched problemista or did I say that last week

- No, I don't. - I don't think so. - No, I'm not. - No, I'm not. - We rewatched Problemista and that movie is so fucking good. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it 'cause-- - I've heard so many people say that they love that movie. - Dude, it's so good. - It is like such a great debut.

Directorial debut. Yeah, I haven't seen a directorial debut. It also just feels like we're at the start of something, the start of a new powerhouse director. I feel like so many good movies have come out. Yeah. Too many good movies. Too many. What the fuck? No, there was, I feel like, eight years where not one good thing happened. Yeah. I haven't been alive as long as you, so I don't know if I've had that long of a streak. You've been alive for at least eight years. Mm-hmm.

Not cognitively. All right, well, guys, thanks so much for watching. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, Psyop Corner. Yeah. Psyop Corner. These better be good or I'm going to be pissed. If I try to sneak a picture of you and the flash turn on, I'm slapping the shit out of you. Okay, this one's like mainly pertaining to me. My dick is so big, I'd be scared to go to sleep because it'd be hanging off the bed and I don't want the monsters to grab my dangling dick.

Is that it? Yeah. Oh, no, I got two more. Actually, one more. Teach your kids their real name. No, that one, no. Yeah, that's it. I don't know. You tell me. Teach your kids their real name. The damn teacher called this baby name nine times. He's listening for Stankabut. He's listening for Stankabut. That was from...

Sienna and Maddie submissions. Well, I have one that's not necessarily. That's kind of gross. This is not a PSYOP corner or a meme. I just thought about it in the car. I already said it to you. Eating pussy with a dental dam must feel like taking a saran wrapped prepackaged chicken thigh home and tonguing it. Just a thought I had. But do practice safe sex. Womp womp. Losers fucking prudes.

Alright, that's wrapping the first episode of the new set! Shout out to you, team! Damn, that echo. Holy shit. That was good. Should I give a better scream? Should I scream again? Let's see how, like, hey, are we gonna do scream challenge? Okay. Should I pull this back? Is it gonna, like, peak? I'll have to get it. Hmm. Was that good? Dude, it echoes for, like, ten seconds. Fuck, I can't do it. Scream.

- It was a delicate one. - And I wanna scream but I don't wanna take up space and disturb people. - Wait, wait, wait, hold on. - You have a lot to live up to. - Yeah, I know, it's hard. It's a tough act to follow. - Why do you always have to do one where it's like one and then another? - 'Cause I gotta get the second one out. The second one's the better one. - All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching.