Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
childhood fears i know some of you might be capping in the comments uh oh actually i wasn't scared of it yes you were bro stop lying everybody's scared of something people really get the most random fears of all time for god's sake ovophobia exists the fear of eggs
Fear is a natural human response, and hell, man, some of these fears left me traumatized, bro. And I'm sure a lot of you probably had the same fears as well. But anyways, I'm sure you guys are gonna absolutely fucking laugh at this one. Let's start with the goofiest fear I've ever had. Pretty close to eggs. Mushrooms. Yeah. I used to be afraid of mushrooms. I don't know how. And now the first time this happened, I was with my brother, the duck.
Right. It was our main character day. Right. It was a birthday party for the both of us. We had just finished setting up a bounce house and I don't know what the fuck I was doing. I was just sitting in the yard looking at the grass and all of a sudden I saw a mushroom. I just screamed. I was like, oh, what the fuck is that? And I just look at it in disgust and fear. And my brother looks over me and then he starts screaming too. And we just both get inside. And then we went to our parents and we were like, yeah.
We couldn't get a fucking sentence out. We were trying to say there's something in the yard We don't know what it is But to my parents it probably sounded like give it a lot of like juggler, huh? Like we were talking like courage the cowardly dog, bro It was hard to even decipher us and then I went outside and they were like, it's just a mushroom I was like, yo mom watch out. It's evil. It's gonna kill the whole family bloodline. I'm convinced I was convinced that it was just sitting there menacingly staring at me. I don't know bro. Like it
The mushroom was just chilling, doing its thing. Like, I don't know. No one could definitely relate to me on that one. But this one, I'm sure a lot of you will be able to relate to. Every kid had a fear of the dark. Like, if you're saying that you didn't have a fear of the dark, all I'm saying is, bro, you're lying. You're just capping right now. The dark was definitely one of my...
crime fears growing up. And every time my parents would shut the lights off and go upstairs, I would just book it up the stairs because I was afraid the dark was going to eat me alive or something. I don't know. And of course, my ass did the animal walk up the stairs on all fours because of my child brain, that was the fastest way to traverse. I was in flight or flight, flight,
Fight or flight, Jesus, in that moment. And when I got to my room, I had to figure out a way to shut the light off, but go in my bed at the same time. The light switch was about like 20 feet from my bed. So this is what I did. I would do like a crazy ass dive on my bed, like that one Playboy Cardi album cover. Then I would quickly turn my nightlight on. I was like, whew, I'm safe. But there was one thing I forgot about.
The monsters man, they were everywhere. I always thought like there were monsters under my bed when I was really young I don't know why but yeah the books that I was reading let's say that didn't help my uh fear of monsters being under my bed I basically read almost the entire goosebump series. Yeah, I was actually an idiot girl I don't understand why the fuck I read the whole goosebump series when the entire
plot of every single book is a monster that's like trying to kill you or something i don't know i'm truly amazed how i was able to sit through those books but i'm sure for those of you that read the goosebumps books man all of you had that thought in your head shit bro what if this is real that one monster under the sink bro i was afraid i was just gonna open the fucking bottom cabinet on my sink and i'm just gonna be greeted with that but i was truly ready for the worst
Halloween is right around the corner, right? And I'm sure a lot of you have been to a store called Spirit Halloween or something kind of similar to that. And the whole premise of the store is, yeah, you buy Halloween costumes. That's pretty much it. And the store had like these little animatronics that were creepy as hell. And like you would step on it to activate it. And I was so scared every time I was in the store trying to buy a costume.
Like I was afraid I was accidentally gonna step on one and get like the fattest jump scare of my life. Like I was gonna have heart palpitations at age fucking 10. Now that wasn't exactly my ideal motive when I was going costume shopping. I mean, I don't know what I exactly expected. It was a Halloween themed store. So obviously it's gonna be scary. Well, to my nine, 10 year old brain.
And now one of the animatronics in particular happened to be a clown, which was another one of my biggest fears. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this one heavy. You know, I was really afraid of clowns. I don't understand why. I mean, I guess the whole killer clown trend in 2016 really didn't help. That kind of just made my fear a lot worse. Like just how they looked really creeped me out. I used to look through like I spy books all the time and they had
pictures of like the creepiest clowns, bro. And like sometimes at night when I would close my eyes, I would visualize this photo or just any of my fears and just go like, oh, I would wake up in a cold sweat. And my heart rate would be going like I just fucking chugged a whole monster energy. You know what else would get my heart rate going? Needles. It was rough giving me that flu shot. I'm not going to lie, bro. Every year I would cry and whine. I'm like, I don't want
My mom would always try to bribe me and she'll be like, I'll get you stuff if you get your flu shot because she didn't want me to get sick. And I didn't want to get sick either, but I was just scared as fuck of needles. Then the person that was giving me the flu vaccine was like, all right, honey, you're a big boy now. Are
You ready? One, two, three. Yeah, I thought it was like the worst pain ever and I was really going through it. But bro, I should have saw the needles back in like the 1960s. Jesus Christ, I would have been mortified. But yeah, speaking of being in good health, health class was another thing.
Yeah, they didn't just give me the talk in fifth grade, sixth grade, whatever. I had to sit through a bunch of PSAs that were traumatizing, to say the least. Like, I had to watch what happens when you get addicted to a certain substance when I was in sixth grade. Like, bro, I'm not ready for that yet. And I also had to watch somebody give birth.
Like, I'm not trying to watch that when I'm in sixth grade, bro. Like, I am way too young for this shit. Like, let me enjoy my life being innocent while I'm young. Like, goddamn. Like, I really don't need to know about this stuff. I left class that day scarred. Like, I felt like I was gonna have, like, some kind of war flashback looking back on it.
And when my mom asked me, oh, how was school today? I just sat there in silence. I didn't even want to talk about it. Me and my brother both looked at each other and we knew we both had to go through it. And not only did I have a fear of the doctor, but I had a fear of the dentist as well. It was just primarily for the same reason. Yeah, sometimes they would use needles. And there was this one particular moment in my life that I was like, damn.
I'm really fucking scared of the dentist. Now there was like four dentists in one office and they were all working on my teeth I forget what it was for at first they put on the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, you know, just ease me into it and then all of a sudden all these four professional looking ass dentists walk in and then they just start fucking
putting drills in my mouth and shit. I'm like, "What the fuck is going on?" And I just started crying and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to scream. I was gonna make them like put a dent in my gum or something. Like I didn't want that to happen either. So I just stuck it out and was just crying in silence the entire time. Like I seriously did not know what I was in for.
I was geeking out because I was playing Mario Party 4 on one of those GameCube things that they had set up in the office. And to be fair, yeah, it kind of worked. It took my mind off the dentist. But once they said, Birdie, your chair's ready. I literally felt like I fucking shit myself. I'm not even gonna lie. Now, when I got back from the dentist, rarely I would go outside, but I would
play a lot of video games. And of course, there were some that left me traumatized, to say the least. Now, a few games that scare me, of course, we gotta start with FNAF, because holy fucking shit, bro. Every kid was scared of this game. Now, when FNAF
came out, I was in like fifth or sixth grade. I was pretty old, but fuck man, that first jump scare hit different bro. After I saw that, I literally almost fell out of my fucking chair. And even just like watching Markiplier and Jacksepticeye play, that in itself kind of already scared me. And I didn't really want to try the game. I was kind of reluctant towards it, but my friends were like, yo bro, like you should actually try the game. Like it's fun. I was like, uh, okay.
And of course I tried it and it fucking scared me. The first night I played it, I kid you not, I was up the entire night afraid that an animatronic was just going to spawn in my room. I'd somehow made sense of that in my brain. But FNAF aside, after that, I got introduced into the world of creepypastas. I don't know why I even got into this. I guess my curiosity got the best of me.
But there was this one day in my fucking fifth grade class, right? Where there was this kid and he was like, uh, hello birdie. Have you heard of creepy pastas? I was like, the hell is a creepy pasta? Like I thought it was like literal creepy looking pasta. Like I didn't know what the fuck this dude was talking about.
Well, Birdie, I'll have you know, it is actually the creepy ending of the game. He went in a little more depth from that, but I didn't really understand what he was saying. I'm not gonna lie. But like I said, my curiosity got the best of me. So I just looked this up on YouTube. I was like, creepy pasta. What the hell?
And I saw the creepiest looking picture of Mario and I literally dropped my phone like I was fumbling around like I was so fucking scared of it and I watched like people explain some of them I'm like, that's scary. And I thought it was gonna happen to me if I played the game I remember there was one about Lavender Town and I literally thought that that was gonna happen to me if I went into Lavender Town in Pokemon
But video games were not the end of my media consumption. I would also watch a lot of movies and TV shows. And of course, a lot of them had some weird moments. Like Courage the Cowardly Dog and Adventure Time. And even regular shows sometimes, man. Like...
I don't know. There were a lot of scary ones. But anyways, I remember every day my parents were working, I would be at my grandmother's house watching TV. I mean, I didn't really know what else to do. So I was basically binge watching these shows. So I was seeing all these episodes. So these shows and maybe video games are like the bane of my existence in the summer. I wasn't doing anything else. Although these shows were goaded, yeah, they had some questionable moments. Like there was this one episode of Adventure Time with the deer and
I don't even want to get into it. It's weird as fuck. Now, as for movies, there was one movie in particular that really scared me. It wasn't a horror movie. Those definitely scared me, though. But let's set the scene. It was a nice cold winter day. I was walking into the library with my class. It was the day before Christmas break, and we were just going to do some fun stuff for the day. Arts and crafts, eat some Christmas cookies, maybe watch a movie. Librarian said, all right, we're going to turn on a movie. And guess what?
fucking movie she put on, bro. The Grinch live action, bro! Of course, the one in 2000. Jesus fucking Christ, even looking at this thing today sends so many goddamn chills down my spine. Like, bro, who let this slide? Look, look at his creepy-ass smile. I just felt
My soul leave my body in that very moment. But honestly, bro, what scared me the most as a kid, you guys remember those like social media or email chains that people would send out? If you don't send this to 10 people, you're gonna die. Or like someone's gonna rob your house or some shit. I believe. I don't understand how...
What in my brain was like, yeah, someone's just gonna spawn in my house if I don't send this to 10 people. But I believed it. So I was panicking. I was like, oh my god, mom, mom, mom, I need to send this to 10 people right now, right now. She was like, no, it's not real, honey. Yes, it is. It's real. Trust me. So you want to know what I did? I didn't take her word for it. I sent that fucking thing to 10 people. Wow, what a fucking idiot I was. Want more videos to watch? I have an entire playlist of videos just like this right here.