Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
jobs all right it's inevitable we're all gonna have to get a job at some point and some people are unemployed like myself or actually my bad i could give youtube a fancier title google content analyst there we go now we're cooking and today we're ranking every job i can think of and if youtube shits the bed i'm taking my ass to indeed.com and job searching so let's look for some jobs today
All right, we're going to start with a surgeon. Now these rankings are going to be in my personal opinion. So please do not take this super seriously. The possibility of me being a surgeon, it's going right in the F tier. That's what's going on. Because there is no way I trust myself with somebody else's life. Like if I can't even stay focused while recording a YouTube video, what makes you think I'd be able to stay focused during a surgery?
And not to mention, let's say if I was a plastic surgeon, this dude would walk out with the most deformed face ever. And that I have to explain to him, my bad, bro. You're kind of stuck like this for a while. Sorry. Unless you want to pay for another surgery. Shout out all my surgeons out there, but yeah, I'm not feeling this one. And next we got one I got personal experience in. Retail jobs. Fuck that shit. We're putting that right in F tier. Before YouTube worked out, a lot of you may know I was a cashier at a grocery store.
And dealing with all the Karens and other bullshit like that, it was garbage. So I don't want to do that shit again. But having that first job really did teach me the value of money and shit like that. I'm kind of glad that I did have it. But at the same time, it sucked absolute balls. Because for whatever reason, every time I would get a Karen in my line, they always would have an issue with what I was doing. They would have an issue with how I'm doing. As a small business owner, my favorite thing about posting a job on LinkedIn is that when I hit post, I
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Through my job they would sometimes lie to me about the price being lower than it actually is Some of them would try to finesse me i'm like, all right, bro enough of that and working at like mcdonald's or burger king is even worse because the customers are super hungry So a lot of them are hangry so they start crashing out over a goddamn big mac
But I guess sometimes people could go to a grocery store when they're hungry. So we did kind of have to deal with some crash outs every now and then. News anchor. I'm going to put this one in C tier. The only problem I would have with being a news anchor, it's live. It's not pre-recorded. So I would be sitting there like...
this just in, uh, the local little league team, uh, won, won the champion. Okay. No, we're not doing that. It would be the most painfully boring news anchor you've ever heard. And there's definitely some articles I'd be like, dude, I don't even want to talk about this. Why are you even telling me to say this? Breaking news in the Duckalo village. The newspaper boy has not delivered papers for five days. Unbelievable. And everybody watching will be like, okay, clearly it's a slow news day. What the hell is going on? And some
Sometimes they go in the middle of the storm and just stand there with a microphone. I would definitely not want to do that. So the hurricane has turned into category five and Chuck is on the scene. What's going on over there, Chuck? Uh...
It's getting pretty windy, uh. And sometimes they'll get hit by some shit. I'm good, bro. I'd rather be like the behind the scenes dude. Now we got an athlete. I'm gonna put athlete in A tier. Because if I really was super athletic, I'd be like, damn, bro. I'm locking in. I'm gonna become a professional. I wasn't really huge into the sports I played growing up. I would say absolutely I'd become an athlete. The only bad thing I would say is I don't want to be a celebrity, bro. Like any kind of celebrity, I'm cool off the hook.
I'd much rather be like the second or third string dude because I could just sit on the bench and watch the game and just practice because then I could live a regular life and still get paid to play my favorite sport. I think that'd be pretty cool. Even though the starter athletes, they make hella bread. They make millions a year. But dude, at that point, I would not be able to live a regular life. I would have to be paranoid everywhere I go that somebody's going to recognize me.
Like imagine being LeBron James life as LeBron would be insane Imagine having the ability to dunk on anybody in the NBA, but me personally that life's not for me Now we got a salesman now really depends what you're selling Okay, i'm gonna put this one in b tier now a lot of people like car salesmen For example, they use scummy tactics to try and get the interest rate up and things like that So they can make more off commission obviously, but the whole point of being a salesman
is to get sales. So I really don't understand why people do that. It will literally just drive people away. But yeah, it's crazy that car salesmen, a lot of them do all these mind tricks on you. So before I even think about getting a new car, I got to do my research on these tactics that they use. And also door-to-door salesmen, I wouldn't do that either because a lot of people are just going to end up slamming the door in your face. But if I like use TikTok to market a product or something, and then I would get commission for sales.
I would probably do it. I mean, I've always been interested in digital marketing, so why not? Cybersecurity, A tier. I feel like this is something I'd be pretty interested in. I always wanted to know how to keep my devices more secure. And it's really important as well because people who work in cybersecurity test and protect computer systems and data. And they help keep data from these annoying ass hackers that are pretty much like flies buzzing around you. And you can keep yourself protected online with the
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Why the hell would I want to be Jack Doherty's security guard? If I was a security guard at a club or something, some people would try to fight me. And I'm like, okay, I don't want to deal with all that. But if I was Playboy Cardi's security guard, hell yeah, bro. Okay, I'm just kidding. Enough of the glaze. It doesn't really sound too bad besides the fact that people are going to try to put up a fight with you and shit. Otherwise, it sounds pretty solid to me. Now we got a lawyer. Now, if I'm being honest with you, if I was a lawyer, I would say some shit like, your honor, Roe is cooked. Okay, I would not make a good lawyer.
And plus, I don't want to go to law school for seven years. I'm not trying to do all that. I mean, yeah, they get paid good, but they also got to pay for seven years of school. And also, law isn't really something that I'm that interested in. But since it pays well, I'll put it in C tier. A babysitter. Now, that doesn't really sound too bad when you're babysitting in a rich neighborhood.
You will get paid hella cheese just to babysit some kid for like six hours. And if the kid is an asshat, then yeah, the job's gonna suck. But otherwise, I'd say it'd be a decent job. Sometimes I don't got enough patience for that type of shit, so I'm gonna put it in D tier. Not for me personally, but if you got enough patience, I would say go for it. But I'm not trying to be super nanny personally.
and also i don't know if i'd be able to take care of a kid at least for me right now i don't think i got that responsibility in me photographer honestly i would put this one in est here you can choose what some things work better together like nars's soft matte complete concealer and radiant creamy concealer soft matte complete concealer erases and blurs imperfections with full coverage then radiant creamy concealer evens and brightens with a luxurious texture and radiant finish
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And it doesn't matter how much bread is on the table. There are some types of photography I am not doing. And yeah, we already know what type of photography I'm talking about. And that specific type of photography that belongs on a different website is going below the tier list. A barber. Okay, I would put this one in B tier to be honest with you. I'd like to give people a fresh lineup. That'd be pretty sick. I've been watching videos of people getting haircuts on Instagram. Like the transformation is just crazy. But the only thing I would say...
I'm, not trying to be a barber because if I give them a bad cut Yeah, like I am pretty much sentencing them to no female interaction for three months But if I really did learn and got really good at my craft, you know, I would fuck with it for sure But besides fucking up people's haircuts. I think I would enjoy the job a clown. Yeah, this one's going in f-tier. I'm not doing this I don't know if I would get like tomatoes thrown at me water balloons the unexpected
expected is going to happen. Then I'd have to sit there and make balloon animals. I don't know. I'm just not with that. But hey, man, if being a clown's your passion, then chase your passion. I'm not stopping you. And especially the fact that I was afraid of clowns as a kid. I don't know if that really helps either. And if I wore like that clown makeup on my face, my skin would definitely break out in a shit ton of acne. A
cop. Certain situations where I would have to clutch up, I'm not the guy for. So I don't really think I would make a good cop at all. If I'm put under pressure, I am folding like a MacBook Air. Me and being put under pressure, yeah, not really that great of a situation. Like the only thing I'd probably be able to do as a cop is like,
Hand out parking tickets and also catch people speeding that that's about it. Now, uh, again, this is my personal preference So, uh me being a cop. Yeah, we're looking at a nice d tier All right, I would not make a good cop someone else has got that bro Not me and alongside our cops, you know, we also need somebody to teach the youth and it's not gonna be me bro I am not being a teacher. I'd rather be a cop than a teacher So birdie as a teacher is going right in the f tier
I made a whole video about how to cheat in school. I would get fired on the spot. And plus, I wasn't really the greatest student in school ever. I mean, I did get decent grades, but if I'm keeping it real with you guys, I just got carried by Google. So imagine me up there trying to teach a bunch of people about a subject that I did terrible in in school. Like,
That just wouldn't make any sense. And plus I left college a year ago. So I am not built for this and shout out all the teachers. Cause like, I don't even know how they deal with all the kids that are really annoying in class. And you are responsible for all these kids in your classes throughout the entire school day. And it's like 30 kids per class. And on top of that, and you also have to teach every single one of these kids, the material and make sure they don't
fall behind on said material. And then you got to plan lessons in your downtime. And then I am responsible for the youth. Okay. Being able to understand goddamn math equations. I am not putting that responsibility on myself, bro. Hell not. Comedian. Okay. I'm going to
put this one in B tier. Only I would see myself being a comedian. The only thing is one stage fright that that would definitely kick me in the ass. And two, I really don't think I'm that funny. Like, don't get me wrong. Like I'm, I'm, I'm sure some of you find my videos funny, which is great. And I appreciate it, but I do not think I'm the next coming of Dave Chappelle. Cause the last thing I would want is to get up there and then just get booed off the stage instantly. Then people just start hucking goddamn tomatoes at me. And then I have to sit back,
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Okay, this is something I wanted to do when I was a kid. I was like, I want to be an astronaut. And now that I'm much older, I do not want to go to the goddamn moon. So this is getting an F tier from me. The last thing I want to do is go into space because we do not really know what's out there. It's such a wide and vast universe. I don't even want to take the chance. And if there's some kind of like faulty equipment on my spaceship, an asteroid could break the window of it. The moment that happens, I'm cooked.
I'm gonna have to call NASA for backup or some shit. I know NASA's got technology to prevent that type of shit, but still. I don't even think I want to worry about that in the slightest. A doctor. Okay, I think these were the careers my parents wanted me to be. Doctor, lawyer, astronaut.
Surgeon. Yeah, doctor's going in F tier. I don't see myself being a doctor one bit. They get paid really good, but still, I don't know about all that. Dr. Birdie. That sounds kind of crazy. That just doesn't sound right. People are going to come into my office and I'm going to have to tell them the truth. Look, man, I'm just as lost as you are, bro. I use chat GPT.
Because that's probably what I would have done if I went to medical school. I would have been locked in with chat GPT like crazy. Like I would have to have chat GPT help me out during the job interview and shit too. So it wouldn't have worked out. A graphic designer. Now I would actually do this if I actually learned how the hell to design things. So it's going to go in the A tier. Imagine me making the logo for your company. I don't know, dude. I'd be firing up Microsoft Paint. All I've really done so far in my designing career, if you want to call it that,
I just took a bunch of shapes and put it together. That was really it. A mascot. Now a mascot's gonna go probably in the D tier for me. Imagine being in the 100 degree Texas heat and you're the mascot for the Houston Texans. I would just be thinking to myself, all right, the moment I could take this thing off, bro.
I'm quitting my job. They might have hit like crazy emotes when they score a touchdown. I probably couldn't even breathe in the damn costume. And it would be even worse if I wasn't a sports mascot. If I was just standing outside a store in a fucking hot dog costume spinning a damn sign around. Yeah, it would be even worse. Now if I was a mascot at Disney World or something, I'd have to act all holly and jolly the whole time. Pretend like I'm happy to be there. Even though I am waiting by the second to take this damn costume off. A fisherman.
B tier. Fishing is a pretty calm experience, I can't even lie, but at times it can get pretty boring. I do enjoy myself some fishing once in a while, I know, I'm on some old man activities, but listen, just hear me out, bro, it's relaxing. But if I were to fish like every day of my life, eventually I would get really bored of it. And I already hate being on boats to begin with because, well, shit, dude, I don't want to get seasick. The moment I toss, turn, or do any kind of maneuver on this boat, it's over. Hear that? Big waves are calling.
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puking. Now we got a construction worker. Okay, this one's going to D tier for me, bro. I'm sorry. I mean, we're off to a bad start. I gotta use a YouTube tutorial to figure out how to unclog a toilet. So, uh, yeah, I don't know about that one. So imagine me trying to build something. Imagine me trying to figure out how to build an entire sculpture or whatever it is that I'm building. And a lot of times construction work
are in the blazing heat putting in work. So shout out to all my construction workers out there. They're really cooking. What's pretty ironic is that my favorite shows as a four-year-old were like Bob the Builder and Handy Manny. Yet here I am every time I got to fix something on my own. I got to call my dad, ask him what to do. Either that or look up a YouTube tutorial. I don't know who's getting on the mic making these YouTube tutorials on these really niche things, but shout out to you because dude, I don't know where the hell I would be without YouTube tutorials.
And due to like outside causes, some structures that you build could just come tumbling down and you got to do it all over again. I'm gonna feel like the Clash of Clans builder when his builder hut keeps getting destroyed. A pilot, definitely F tier. Shout out to all the pilots out there that are really putting in work. But again, this one's just not me, bro. I don't think I'd be able to handle that immense amount of pressure. I gotta get people safely from point A to B without crashing the plane somehow.
And every time I land on the ground, I'm gonna be that one dude that just f***ing kisses the ground. Because I don't really like flying to begin with, but, you know, I kind of just do it because I have to. I don't really have a choice. I mean, I'd rather fly for three hours than drive 24 hours by car. And also, I kind of suck at, like, paying attention to things. My brain's all over the place sometimes. And when you walk into the cockpit of a plane and just see the control panel...
Where the hell do I even start? Like what button do I press? But yeah, like I said, I'm good. Somebody else has got that. A chef C tier. The reason why I say this is as much as I want to know how to cook and be good at it, being a chef just sounds kind of stressful. My brother was a bus boy at a restaurant and the manager was on his fucking nutsack to clean the tables faster. So I could only imagine being a chef like your manager's going to be on your head to cook.
cook faster? Like how, how is that even possible? And in order for the food to be good, right? You got to take your time with your craft. And also if they rush the food, the chances of it not being cooked properly are higher. So I'd honestly rather than not rush my food. I want them to take their time cooking it. And also when they get home from a long grueling day of cooking, now they got to cook themselves a meal. So they got to cook
Again after work, honestly, that's that's too much cooking for me, man Again, somebody else has got that bro, and it ain't me truck driver d tier Okay, I don't know what it is with my jobless ass giving low ranks I don't know man. I think i'm just being a d1 hater today But listen truck drivers they will drive on the highway for hours at a time without stopping They will go off zero sleep just straight going on the highway They'll stop at the little rest stops look at some eats
Sleep for like 20 minutes and then they're back on the road I already don't really like driving to begin with let alone driving across the country. Yeah, that's kind of crazy, man I don't know about that one No amount of music will get me that amped for 30 hours straight watch this video right here about my cashier job that I mentioned earlier in the video Just click on it