Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Working in retail. I've never had a more buns job in my entire life for those of you that are working retail I am praying for you All right prayer up to the heavens for you If you're watching this video right now as someone who worked for as a cashier for like two and a half years I can say that i've seen quite the characters in my retail days and now obviously everybody needs food
So there's gonna be some weirdos. Like, what would a grocery store be without some weirdos in the mix? And hey, I'm an idiot. I signed up for the job, so that's what I get. Since my parents said I was a bum, I had to go get a job at this grocery store at 16. I started working there right before the pandemic, and of course, I worked through the pandemic. Yeah, it was tough. And the pandemic really brought out the weird in some people, I must say. And let's just say I started out with this customer one day who was a flat earther.
Not even kidding. Maybe God just decided to bless me with entertainment today. I think that's what was going on because holy hell when this dude walked up to me, he already started talking about his conspiracies. He pointed at my mask and was like, do you know what this is for? And I just looked at him and I was just not computing like it wasn't happening because my brain was shut off at that very moment. I had no idea what to say those masks right there. The government's using them to control us and I was just like the hell is this dude talking about in government control? Like I can't be bothered with this.
I'm getting paid $11 an hour to put up with this. Uh, yeah, man. Uh, totally. That was a mistake. I should have never said that. As soon as he thought that I agreed with him, even though I did not agree with him at all. I was just saying, yeah, yeah, man, to be nice and just like get him the fuck out of my face. He started telling me about all the conspiracies that he had.
Like, there was no stopping this dude. Like, he was practically going crazy. Like, he was basically telling me how, thank God I'm not a sheep and the government's brainwashing us with 5G towers. And I was just like, what the heck? And I was just thinking to myself, what else is this dude gonna pull out of his ass? Like, what could possibly be next? He starts telling me that the earth is flat. No way.
Bro really thought Kyrie Irving was a philosopher and just fucking ran with that shit. I mean, there's a reason why he plays basketball and isn't a scientist. I could just safely assume. I mean, he didn't really explain why. Basically talking about all the shit that you see going around the internet as to why people think the earth's flat. This dude lost his marbles. Like I'm kind of surprised he wasn't posted up in a nursing home.
That's crazy to me, honestly. But after this dude left, I was like, have a great day. And him and his wife walked out of the store. And as soon as I was done with this conversation, I instantly went to tell my friend what the hell just happened. I was like, yo, bro, you're not going to believe this. I just saw some tinfoil hat, motherfucker. Like I'm being dead serious. And the cashier behind us just said, oh, I see this guy like all the time. Like he's a regular here.
Like he will just not stop talking about this shit. Like he is actually trying to convince people. I was just like, no fucking way. And at that point, I didn't know what I signed up for. I didn't know I was going to be dealing with some crackheads. Even though there weren't really that many of them, I'm still not trying to gamble on whether or not I got to deal with one. And of course,
What would a grocery store video be without a Karen story? So my brother, the duck, also worked at the same grocery store as I did. And now he also thought it was garbage, all right? Like there's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The store was about to close in about an hour. And of course, the Karen walks in and she already had the Karen look going.
So he just already knew that he was going to be dealing with some crackhead energy in about 2.5 seconds. So she goes into one of the register lines, gets her groceries scanned. And when this person bagged her groceries, oh my God, she was fuming. Like, I don't know what happened. Did they really do that bad of a job? Like, I don't think so. Like if I'm being real with you, it's kind of hard to fuck it up royally. So clearly she was just being extremely picky. And she went up to the customer service desk and literally screamed at the manager back there.
and was basically telling her how all the cashiers are shit. They were doing a terrible job, and she was doing a terrible job managing the cashiers. So she was like, but where's your manager? I want to speak to your manager right now, and I'm going to get you fired. Yeah, I am 100% serious. Like, this lady really pulled out the let me speak to your manager card. Like, that is actually a real thing. The duck felt like he was in awe.
automated reality. Like it just did not feel real. It just felt like some shit straight out of a Karen YouTube compilation, bro. It was bad. I don't know if anyone recorded that shit, but if they did, it would be fucking hilarious to watch back. There was barely anyone in the store at that point. So I guess she felt like she had to freak out and make a scene.
in front of nobody. Like, what sense does that make? I don't get it. You can easily say what you have to say quietly, but instead she was like fucking screaming her head off about how all the cashiers suck and the manager needs to be fired or some shit. And speaking of people being stingy with like the bags and stuff, there was this one lady that walked through my line that was just...
really fucking annoying about it. Like, I literally had to redo it so many times. She was like, nope, the yogurt doesn't go there. It goes there. She was telling me how to do my job. Like, she was, like, directing me how to bag the groceries. Do that shit yourself. Oh my god. Like, it just pisses me off. Like, if you're really stingy about how you want the bags...
Do it yourself. Like, I don't think it's that hard. Come on. And plus, it gives us a break. Some stores only had to bag. But guess what? We had to bag and cashier. It was kind of tough. And plus, we had to take care of a bunch of other store responsibilities by the end of the night or else the manager was going to be heated with us. We had to clean every nook and cranny of the register, empty the trash, and just do a bunch of other shit. We also had to clean the tables. And one day, I saw this dude who was a regular.
and he was basically just sitting at this table like the entire day. And I recognized him because he would always go through my line. And now I didn't think anything of him being there all the time, but bro practically lived in the grocery store. That's all you gotta know. But this dude was weird. Like one time he said some weird shit to my friends,
friend. He made a joke to him about choking the chicken. Like, it was bad. Long story short, the manager made sure he couldn't go through my friend's line again. And now the reason why he was in the grocery store all the time is one, he was just weird. And two, he was typing up a GoFundMe. And if I were to explain all the lore on this GoFundMe, this video would be very long. It would be like over 15 minutes. But yeah, let's just say he did a bunch of shit that would definitely get him banned at some point. But this was the last straw
that broke the camel's back for this dude, all right? I forgot to mention we called this dude Crate Guy because he literally just carried a crate with him everywhere. Like there was no stopping it. But the unfortunate tale that closed the storybook for Crate Guy was one day the service clerk was outside getting carriages as he normally does. And he sees this dude Crate Guy straight up just pissing in the parking lot
And he was just like, "What the hell bro- Alright, nah, I gotta tell the manager. What the-" And the manager just decided to ban him. And it was an unfortunate day to be Crate Guy. He was crying in the club, obviously, because he practically lived in the store. So of course, everyone knew who he was. There was no way he would even be able to come back.
This is the real icing on the cake for customers, bro. Like it ain't getting weirder than this. One day, my coworker went up to my brother, the duck, and he said, I saw some dude wearing a furry tail. And he was like, oh my God, that's right. I saw him. I didn't know what the hell that was. And he just couldn't believe his eyes. And it truly is a melting pot at the grocery store.
It just like combines a shit ton of different types of people. Like he couldn't believe his own eyes. Like you never think you see some dude dressed up with a fucking furry tail in real life. I mean, personally, I don't hate furries or anything, but I don't care. But just why wear that shit in public, bro? Like that's just embarrassing. Like you could not be serious, Brody. How are you going to wear a tail?
And now a lot of the employees would talk amongst each other about like the weird things that they would see on a daily basis. And sometimes employees would talk shit about each other because some employees were really just weird. There was this one girl that I worked with. Now, Rhonda was basically the embodiment of cancel culture. She was really looking into things like way too deep.
I forgot to mention this at the beginning of the video, but I worked there with a group of my friends. And that's the only reason why I stayed there for so long. Otherwise, I would have been out the door way earlier. Me, the duck, and my two friends, we were all talking in a group. Now, my two friends were like complimenting each other. They were like, yo, bro, you looking good today. Like, no homo. And as soon as that left his mouth, ooh, homo.
Yeah, let's just say Ronda was not very happy. And she was like, how could you say that? That is not politically correct. Blah, blah, blah. That is so offensive. I can't believe you would say that. And my friend was just explaining like, bro, I literally just said no homo. Like, what's the big deal? Like, I'm just telling him you look great, but I'm not swinging that way. You know, you cannot tell me you've never complimented one of your homies, bro.
Like that's what you gotta do, man. They're your boys for a reason, bro. The socks are on, so it's all good. Nobody means to be offensive when they say that. And he tried to explain that to her, but she just wasn't buying it. And I guess for the rest of the time that she was there, eventually she quit. She held a grudge against my homie. Like, come on, bro.
And she was really chatting on his name too and saying he was like homophobic and shit. Like it was bad. Now there was this dude that I worked with that a lot of people did not like. And well, a lot of people didn't like him because well, he sucked at his job. I mean, there's no other way of putting it. I mean, shit, I was pretty booty cheeks at the job, but like, damn, this guy outdid me like crazy. I would take long ass breaks and this dude would somehow find a way to take longer breaks than me. I don't know how that's possible. And sometimes he would take...
even longer bathroom breaks during his shift. Like sometimes he'd be in the bathroom for like 30 minutes, just hitting his jewel in the fucking bathroom. And of course he was a fiend for that Nick, bro. Of course he was. He's probably running out of nicotine money, bro. He needed that. He needed that paper. He needed to start stacking his bread so he can buy nicotine.
And at that point bro might as well just take the money and fucking burn it because you're just wasting it He was chill, but I mean for the most part like he just didn't give enough of a fuck I mean we all didn't give a fuck. I mean we were in a supermarket for god's sake You gotta at least care a little bit like if you have the job I mean you kind of need it So you gotta put in a little bit of effort and not slack off too much Like that's why I wouldn't take longer breaks than him
I found a way to cheat the system. And hey, I never got fired. Somehow. I've talked about more of the job in general on my second channel, Wordy. If you're interested, check that out. Links in the description. Want another video to watch? Watch this video on screen. Anyways, I'm out. Bye.