Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
School rules. They make absolutely no sense at all. Back in the day, back when I was in school, school rules made me question life. And it really made me wonder, why do these rules just absolutely suck? I felt like I was going into solitary confinement every day I walked into school. You gotta ask permission to do basically everything. Even things that are considered basic human needs. Yo, mister stick up the ass a third, bro. I gotta use the bathroom. Do you think I can go? I don't know. Can you? Heh heh.
That... That made me want to sock a teacher in the face against this. That would always piss me off whenever they were like, I don't know, can you? Well, I can. I just need your goddamn permission for some reason. Let me go before I piss myself. Like, I just felt like a bot, bro. Especially when I was 18 years old and I had to ask to use the bathroom. And you even had to ask to go get a drink from the drinking fountain. Like...
How what some teachers wouldn't even allow water bottles in class They were like well, you need to step outside to drink that water bottle like I gotta step outside What like what are you talking about? Like since when did I need permission to drink water? Like who is allowing this? That's what I don't understand and some teachers were cool They were like you can just leave like you you don't have to ask me that that's dumb Thank god for those teachers or else I would have never been able to get through school But most of my teachers back in the day were just ops man
Some teachers allowed you to eat in their class, but most teachers didn't. Like, you're telling me I gotta starve until lunch? Really? And I don't even get anything good for lunch, bro. I get a crusty piece of pizza. Uh-uh, what do you think you're doing? No eating in my classroom. What? You're literally eating... Mmm, this is pretty good. So, we're gonna be going over, um...
math today. You're telling me that I'm not allowed to eat, but you on the other hand, you can just eat a goddamn, I don't know, gourmet meal if you want to. Like, why can't I do a basic human function? That's kind of crazy. I'm not going to lie to you. We all have to sit here and starve and then get really shitty eats when it's time for lunch. And then you're over here casually eating a
filet mignon that is just flexing to the next degree bro i did not know i was gonna get flexed on by my teacher plus eating and drinking helps with focus like when you're hungry that's like the first thing you focus on naturally because food is one of the basic needs as a human bro and they're depriving us of that that's insane and of course i was always tired as hell too because the start time's absolutely blue why is this so early like what's the occasion like it's nothing special at all
I'm trying to catch my Z's out here. Get every last hour I can. I'm not trying to walk in looking like a PVZ zombie, bro. Like I walk into that bitch looking like this. And I just never understood why people were so energetic in them. Like I just look over and I see two girls being loud as hell and talking super fast. Like dude, how? Like I literally just want a face plant on my desk right in front of me, bro.
And of course, in school, you also can't come in late, or else you'll get a detention. Like, life happens, bro. Obviously, you're gonna be late here and there. But why get a detention for being late? Like, depending how much of an op your teacher was, you could be one step away from getting a detention. Um, if we're technically speaking, you do not enter the classroom until five seconds after the bell rang. So, therefore, I'm gonna have to give you a detention. Detention?!
I had to walk across the entire school, bro. I had to hike, climb mountains, run like Usain Bolt, and somehow be at your class in five minutes. And when you get there, everyone fucking stares at you. Like they're just staring into your soul. Like why? Like why are you staring at me? I got here one minute late, bro. It is not that deep at all.
And now that I'm in college, I really don't give a fuck. So I'm late like every class. And yeah, people still stare at me. But you know what? I don't get penalized for it. So I don't care. And when I would walk in, my teacher would always tell me to take my hood off or my hat off. Yeah, no hats or hoods were allowed, which makes no sense. They're over here telling you, oh yeah, nah, it's just for security reasons. That's why it's not allowed. But you allow a girl to wear fucking cat ears to school. Make that make sense, please. If the barber fucks me up,
I'm not trying to walk in with a dookie cut! I promise, the hat will do. Or it's not gonna distract our learning at all. And yes, you'll be able to tell who I am on the camera if I always wear a goddamn hat. Um, Birdie, take your hat off, please. Um, why? Why does she get to keep her ears on, then? She's just expressing herself. It takes a lot of bravery and courage to express your true self. Well, why can't I express my true self and say, "Fuck you!"
rules by wearing this hat, huh? God damn that was so annoying bro. And some schools allowed students to wear full ass suits like fursuits or lizard suits. Yeah, that's a really particular example from one of my friend's schools. This dude was just posted up in a goddamn lizard suit and the school just let it slide. Like can we just keep that shit at home please? Like holy sh- And you know what else I had to keep at home?
My phone because I wasn't allowed to use it like I mean in class I kind of get it you want people to pay attention so they do well whatever but I couldn't use my phone at lunch Why like I had to sneak run clash royale with the homies like I couldn't do it out in plain sight like teachers were just be odd
Just walking around looking for people using their phones So whenever I was just by myself because the school had like four different lunches and my homies were in a different lunch I literally just had to stare at a wall the entire time. It was so dumb I mean some teachers just wouldn't care if you were to go on your phone in class But you can't even like check your phone Like I couldn't even just look at the time real quick. I'm my teacher being no phones. I'm gonna be taking that away
Like, nah, why you gotta be such an op? Like, literally just pretend you didn't see me check the time. That's really it. I can't even go on my phone and I'm in college right now. That is so ridiculous. And I'm really paying for this shit, bro. I'm paying to be treated like a goddamn toddler. I can't even look at my
phone without getting kicked out of class. It's ridiculous. I feel like I'm throwing my money into a fire pit because damn, I'm supposed to be an adult after this, apparently, but I can't look at my phone for some reason. And of course you've got the no talking. This rule sucks because I used to be a really extroverted person until I got hit with the no talking rule. And then I kind of just shut my mouth in school and didn't say anything, even though I wanted to say something.
Like I was just way too afraid of getting in trouble. You couldn't even talk to your friend in the hallway either because apparently, um, you're going to disturb the other students. Like you're acting like we're a herd of elephants right now. We are literally just walking and talking. That's it. And I don't know why when I'm walking in the hallway, I need a hall pass. Nah, bro. That's ridiculous. And if the hall monitor catches you lacking without a hall pass, he's going to send your ass to the principal's office. Um, excuse me, gentlemen. Do you two happen to have a hall pass? Oh.
Uhhh...
but I don't have one. Gentlemen, you're coming with me. No fear. The hard monitor is here. Bro really acted like he was a superhero. Nah, bro. You are not saving lives. You're literally just an op. Now we got to talk about the dress code. The dress code is the most bun set of rules of all time. If you're
forced to wear a uniform, man, I am praying for you. You must have it rough. You really gotta do laundry every single day, man. That is unfortunate. Like, that makes school kinda bland, bro. Like, the best part about school? Just showing up in some drippy-ass clothes, man. That's the best part. And that's just all taken away. And for the girls watching, y'all have it rough. Like, I feel so bad for you guys. Oh my god.
Apparently, if your shorts are quote-unquote too short, it's gonna be a distraction for my learning. Obviously, there's a line that you don't cross. But as long as you're wearing general, like, street clothes, I don't see the issue. If your shorts are not down to your fingers, they're too short. Like, that just makes no sense, man. Or your straps can't be smaller than two fingers. Bro, I think we're gonna be okay. Like, I...
Shoulders are not going to distract my learning. Now we got to talk about homework. Whoever created homework, I am convinced that they are the most evil, diabolical human on this planet. Like I'm already out here doing work in school for eight hours and then I come home to more work. Like, come on.
Like what is this man? I'm just trying to live my life out here when I would come home from elementary school I dead ass would have sometimes four to five hours of homework because I was a brick and I was stupid as hell And I couldn't figure it out Now i'd literally be sitting there for hours trying to figure it out and boom the day's already gone And I couldn't play the Wii because apparently it was already bedtime and teachers sometimes just decided you know what?
You know what? I'm not gonna grade this one. Then why did I do it? Why did I sit down for four hours of my life and do it? I was malding, man, in elementary school. It's not like you didn't mention the homework at all. Like, if that was the case, I would have kept my mouth shut. But I remember my freshman year of college, my math teacher was literally like, oh, yeah, have this homework done by next class. And it was like 30 problems. I'm like, 30 problems? My fucking...
"Mafucka, I gotta make YouTube videos, what do you mean? I don't have time to do 30 problems." I bring it in the next day, and apparently it doesn't count as a grade. Yeah, homework's just for you, by the way. You could've told me this before I spent my damn hours doing these 30 problems. No self-defense. Apparently, you just can't defend yourself. That's just... that's just so against the rules, man. If you defend yourself in a fight, you will get suspended.
Like, I don't understand why. Like, bro is beating you up. Like, obviously you gotta step in and defend yourself. You cannot let anything slide in this day and age. Um, excuse me, gentlemen, gentlemen, stop fighting. Alright, what happened between you? Well, this dude gave me a black eye, so obviously I had to defend myself.
Both of you gentlemen are suspended. Miss, this has got to be a mistake. So then you got to explain to your mom why you got suspended. And if you get really unlucky, you're going to be having a second ass beat and waiting for you when you get home. Like I literally have a black eye. Like I don't need my ass handed to me. All right. Where was I? Okay. You know what? We're going to.
We're gonna move on. We're gonna talk about the 15-minute rule. Some of you might be like, what the hell is the 15-minute rule? Well, it's definitely one of the dumbest school rules to ever exist. Apparently, I can't go to the bathroom until 15 minutes in class, and then I can't go in the last 15 minutes of class.
What sense does that make? But they're just leaving me with a nice little window in the middle of class. Like, what? Like, it would make sense to go at the beginning or the end of class. And plus, if somebody's being an op, like they're vaping in the bathroom and you have to wait for their ass, guess what? You can't even piss.
Like, nah, bro, what is this? I'm peeing in your trash can at this point. I would always get hit with one of those, oh, well, excuse me, you actually have to wait for Jimothy to be done? Uh, he should be out shortly. And then when he's done, oh no, it's the last 15 minutes of class, you can't go. Like, come on, man. Now this school rule is the most diabolical. This is the scariest school rule of all time.
The popsicle sticks. An introvert's worst nightmare. Yes, I know a lot of you just shook in your boots after hearing that. Any volunteers to answer why the sky is blue? Anybody? Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to go with our handy dandy do little popsicle sticks. Birdie, could you possibly answer for me why the sky is blue?
I didn't know the fucking answer and I never did and that's why it was my worst nightmare So i'll just be sitting there awkwardly for five minutes as the class is staring at me trying to come up with an answer But yeah, nah school rules were the absolute worst for real more videos to watch I have an entire playlist of videos just like this right here