When You Get Way Too Drunk
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Getting wasted. It's fun in the moment, obviously, but you know, when you wake up in the morning, it's not so great. But yeah, I figured I'd tell a more recent story that happened like eight months ago. So yeah, it all started when my parents were asking me what I wanted to do for my 21st birthday, and that I didn't really know the answer to. But then eventually my parents thought of Nashville because, well, what else do you do there besides drink? And now, obviously, I'm not encouraging this behavior.

I'm just simply sharing my story. So Neil Mohan, wherever you are out there, please do not get on my ass. So it was me, my parents, my brother, and my friend. We all went to Nashville and arrived like 12 hours before I turned 21. And the whole idea was we were all going to go to a bar and we were all going to take a shot at midnight. And during that day, I was being gatekept like crazy. Like I couldn't even go anywhere. Like not even like restaurants would let me in. This is what your year will sound like in the new Lululemon glow up tight.

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with eight-piece shrimp, surf and turf, or fish sandwich. Each starting at $3.99. Offer valid at participating locations. Because everywhere had a bar, so I wasn't even able to go in. Like, I showed them my ID and they were like, come back in 12 hours. So I really could not do shit besides walk around. So about 20 minutes before me and the duck officially turned 21, we all decided, all right, it's time to go out. So we left, we all walk up to the bars,

Obviously, yeah, they're checking IDs. And my parents told me, oh yeah, ask if you could get in early. Nah, they'll let you in. And I was like, okay.

I don't want to ask this buff security guard if they'll let me in early. I don't want to get thrown across the fucking streets of Nashville. I'm okay off that. Okay, that wasn't going to happen, but you get the point. But surprisingly, they were going to let me in early and they told me come back in 10 minutes. So I plate cleaned some more food. I came back. And after that, they escorted us all in the bar like we were some kind of main characters. We walk in and you already know right at midnight, we all took a shot.

And that was only the beginning. And I thought, you know, I'll be cool off like one or two shots. And that'll be it. That's what they all say. Yeah, maybe try four or five or six. And on top of that, I was also slamming down Miller Lights. And that might be nothing for some of you watching this. I don't know. But me, I'm a lightweight. So I was definitely putting up some rookie numbers compared to some of y'all out there. And the bartenders were egging me on to keep going. Even my...

My parents were too. They were like, go crazy. It's your 21st. Do a fourth shot. It doesn't matter. I mean, you're going to feel it in the morning, but you're going to be like, that was a crazy ass night. I didn't get like blackout drunk or anything, but I felt that shit in the morning. That's all I'm going to say. But yeah, of course I was a little bit tipsy. I was not thinking about how I'm going to feel in the morning.

Like I kind of just had that get mentality So at this point I had already had three shots and this was in the course of like an hour at this point I felt like I was the right amount and it was perfect You know, I was really out here living my best life. I never single care in the world We saw a fight going on in the middle of the street. I just didn't even care I just walked right by it like nothing happened and at one of the bars we went to there was a mechanical bull and I was like Oh shit, I gotta try this because there was a crowd around this bull and everybody was like

hyping up the people that were riding it. Everybody was shit-faced doing it. Nobody would do that shit sober. And that's exactly what I did, okay? I decided it was my time to shine. So I stomached more of that liquid courage or whatever the hell people call it. And at this point, my motor skills were getting a little bit shitty. So I'm like, okay, I'm cut off for the night. My friend, my parents, and my brother were watching me. And, you know, I just had to do it, all right? I had to lock in. And I get on this bull and I lasted about 10 seconds. Just ignore that, all right? Just...

pretend like I didn't say that. But basically I completely ate shit and this bull just flinged me off and I landed on my back and I took that fall like a champ. I just completely laughed it off and pretty much acted like nothing happened. And after I walked my ass back to our Airbnb, I literally just crashed on the bed and I woke up the next morning and we were all hung over as shit. But we all stumbled our asses to the sandwich place and my parents already got there and they were already up like four hours before we were.

That shit was pretty much light work to them. Like, that didn't even faze them at all. And my dad told me, "You know what? You should get another beer." I was like, "Why? It's like fucking 12:00 p.m. in the afternoon." He was like, "It will help with the hangover." Shit, I don't know. I was gonna be drinking all day for the next four days. So I was like, "You know what? I could be in a permanent state of drunk for four days." So I'm like, "Why not?" And I mean, we were in Nashville, so it was the time to do it. Didn't matter if it was 7:00 in the morning, bro. I was washing down my eggs with some beer.

And for today's festivities, we were doing pub golf. And basically, the rules of pub golf are as follows. So you just go to a bunch of different pubs, and the loser of each...

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I was getting ready. I was really making sure the Wii golf skills were gonna come in clutch today. I was gonna become the very next Tiger Woods. But in reality, it was just a mini golf course set up at every pub that we went to, which is what I should have expected it to be. And of course, I lost at a lot of the holes. So we were trying like all sorts of shots. There was one that stuck out to me in particular. It was like a coffee milk shot. It was like coffee milk mixed with vodka. I don't even know. These shots were good though. Well, most of them. One of them I had, it tasted like...

battery acid. I had to stomach that shit down, but for the most part they were good. But after the fact, we decided to go to this restaurant. I don't know if any of you have ever been, but it's like this restaurant where the servers make fun of you and they're like an asshole to you like on purpose, like that's their job. My friend brought up the idea and I was like, you know what? That would be pretty funny. Why not? So the moment we get there, they threw the menus across the restaurant. We had to go pick them up like we were playing fetch with the damn menus.

So I just thought, "Alright, we're in for a great night." Alright, this is about to be like, quite the experience. And oh boy was it. Because in the middle of dinner, I just got a hat placed on my head. I didn't know what the hat said, I had no clue. And so did my friend, he also got a hat.

And his hat said, I'm Bubbles. And I was confused. I was like, bro, what the hell does Bubbles mean? Bubbles sounds like a name of like an inmate in prison you would not want to share a cell with. And then I thought about it. I took off my hat and I had to read what it said. All right. Like this was just too entertaining. It said...

I love blowing bubbles and my friend was supposed to be bubbles and everybody walking in was just as perplexed as I was but anyways after we were all given pies and they gave us a challenge basically saying that like one of the pies has like something in it like it had some kind of prize in it and the winner would get that prize we did not get a prize instead we just got our faces shoved in the pie

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I walked out of there looking weird as hell. I had a hat that said, I love blowing bubbles with a bunch of whipped cream on my face. And there was bubbles right next to me with...

With whipped cream on his face as well. It was just not a good look bro. Then we woke up on the third day. And my parents were like. Alright let's go. It's time to do line dancing. I was like line dancing? Why the hell are we going line dancing? You know I was the least coordinated individual on planet earth. Me and my friend and the duck. We all dragged our asses out of bed. And we went to this line dancing. And holy f***.

It was bad. I couldn't even keep up, bro. And everybody at the lesson, it was like 30 people. We were just all in a square. You know how we used to do like creative dance in school? That's literally how we did it. They were teaching us how to do like, I don't even know. It was like some kind of dances to like country music. And you know me, all right?

I do not really like country music. And my parents were telling me, you gotta be more open to it. You gotta let it grow on you. But I don't know, it just hasn't been growing on me at all. I just prefer rap and pop music way more. And of course, I had to pregame before I did it because why would I just dance in front of a bunch of people sober? That just wasn't gonna happen.

I was just gonna be super self-conscious of every dance move I was doing. Sometimes I almost fell on my ass was just immeasurable. Because at this point, I didn't really have the greatest motor skills ever. I mean, I wasn't completely cooked, but at some points I was definitely having trouble. Then after that, we just went to more bars. And this bar had a pretty cool rooftop view. So we just sat on the, like the little rooftop area. We sat down over there, had a few drinks, and then we all unanimously agreed. We're like, you know what? We're kind of tired. Let's head back.

And then we start heading back and we encounter an interesting situation. And that's literally the best way I can put it. On our way back, we stumbled across this homeless dude. And he asked if we had any cash on us. And I told him I did. And I just gave him a 20. Because, you know, I like to help people whenever I can. Then afterward, he dabs me up for giving him the 20.

Okay, honestly, I don't even know why he did this, but then he proceeds to do one of those tricks that people used to do where it was like they would try to get you look somewhere and then, oh, you're gay if you looked. But I'm surprised this dude didn't hit us with the English or Spanish because that was popular at the time.

After he apparently tricked us, he went up to the door of like some random shop and just started humping the door. I'm like, okay, this is who I gave my $20 to. What the? This dude was definitely on something. I don't know what the hell he was doing. Now for the fourth night, we went on this party bus and they would just drive you around like the city of Nashville. And it was mainly for like Megan Trainor, laundry retrainer. Megan Trainor, you're tossing out my gunky laundry detergent bottle.

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Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. Bigger groups to get together. And on our bus, there happened to be a bachelorette party going on. They ended up striking up a conversation with us. For a lot of the bus ride, you know, we were talking to them about whatever, and they had invited us to just hang out for the night.

And I was just like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just do it. Because I was literally leaving the next day or the day after. I don't know. We went to a bunch of different bars and some of them had dance floors. And I don't know, man. We were kind of cooking a little bit. I can't even lie. I was feeling myself. I was fucking slamming shots. I was going shot for shot. So that's how I even had the confidence to get on the dance floor to begin with. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even done it.

I wouldn't have even went out to begin with and after slamming down drinks. Okay, I was hungry I needed some meat so we stopped at like this hot dog truck that was in like the middle of the street and holy shit That was one of the best hot dogs I have had in my life shit Absolutely wiped the floor with a freezer hot dog You know what glazing a hot dog is a little bit crazy my bad But as I was standing on the street eating said hot dog

Some dude literally ran past my brother and tried to grab whatever was in his pocket. Most likely his phone. So, uh, yeah, we were just all like, what the hell just happened? And best believe if he ran off with that shit, I would have tackled him to the ground, bro. I am not letting that slide.

But thankfully he failed. Otherwise we would have to chase after his ass. And now the three of us were talking to a couple of the girls and they were like, you guys got to try and get like a girl's number or some shit. Like really put yourselves out there. And one of the girls said that they were going to wingman us. They said, see that table of girls over there? Like just go up to them. I'll literally go with you and just hype you guys up. And it was pretty much like,

a point and shoot kind of thing. Like they literally pointed at a table and we would have to just shoot our shot. And you know, I wasn't really in the right mind or headspace to do this at all. It doesn't matter if I drink or not. Like I'm just still really quiet. So I don't know, especially when I'm talking to new people, I'm not really talkative at all. And you know, I got to work on that.

Because if I did, I would have did better in this scenario. Now they pointed at a table. It was like three girls. We all introduced ourselves and, you know, we sat down for a bit. But it just seemed like this wasn't working. They all said they had boyfriends. So, you know, we had to abort the mission, obviously. And I didn't even have a single care in the world that I just got rejected. Like, I didn't even know what was going on for like half of the night. And we tried this methodology for, you know, there were two girls sitting at the bar by themselves. And, you know, we tried everything.

end again, we unfortunately had to abort the mission. Like my brain just shut off. It was non-existent. And then after the night was concluding, all right, we went our separate ways and they were really cool. So shout out to them. And the moment I hit my bed, I just crashed. But if you want more stories just like this, I made a video about my experience having roommates. It's on the end screen. So just click on it.