The #1 Cause of Breakups & The Spiritual Secret To Attracting Healthy Love | David Ghiyam
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There are two big things happening at one time that I've never done before. I'm going on a book tour for my new book, Make Money Easy, and I'm doing a podcast tour at the same time. It is going to be big, and I'm going to seven cities in 10 days. Get your friends, get your family, bring everyone you know to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York,

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Welcome back, my friend. Lewis Howes here, and I am so excited about this episode. David Guillem has been on the show multiple times now, and this is all about love and relationships. So if you feel like you've struggled or you've had some toxic patterns that you have been jumping in relationship after relationship that hasn't worked for you, David's going to reveal and share the transformational wisdom about how our souls change

Choose specific challenges to help us grow and sometimes this is the worst and it hurts the most in intimate relationships and in love and also why focusing on building your spiritual vessel is more important than searching for the perfect partner and

You may not want to hear that, but some powerful insights are about to come. Also, we've got a new book called Make Money Easy that is coming out very soon. Make sure to get your copy because it's about healing your relationship to money and also about how relationships in our lives

money when they mix without having some of these principles in place will really hurt your relationships as well so make sure to get your copy of this to support you on your journey to becoming financially free within your relationships as well without further ado let's dive in

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Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring David Guillem back in the house. Good to see you, man. Thank you for having me. Very excited about this. Our first interview that we did has over a million views on YouTube and has spread like wildfire in people's hearts in a way that really resonates with people. You're a spiritual wisdom teacher for many years, but you've also created a billion-dollar business with Mary Ruth, with your founder, Mary Ruth.

And you've done a lot of powerful things in the business world, but also in the spiritual world. And in your workshops and classes, you teach a lot about relationships. Our first episode, which we'll link up for people as well, go watch that. That was...

really a 101 on manifesting. Yeah, it was more about manifesting. It was a 101 on how to really set up and align your life to manifest more of anything you want. Yeah. This one where we're going over is how to really manifest a powerful committed relationship and stop getting in toxic relationships because I can speak for myself and

I got in relationship after relationship that felt exciting in the beginning, but then turned, I don't know if I would say toxic, but turned stressful. How do people define toxic? I just think if there's always a breakdown. You know, that's how I would think about it. Maybe it's a relationship that's just in breakdown mode constantly. I think toxic is more of...

Man, this is like scary, like scary where it's like aggressive, abusive. I feel like that's toxic. I think I was more in just broken relationships. You know, we just weren't aligned, all of them. And I take responsibility for creating them and the space I brought into those relationships and the intention, all these different things. But I guess my first question for you is, is it possible to manifest love?

healthy love and also what is the biggest mistake that people are making when they try to manifest healthy love? What is the biggest mistake people make when they try to manifest healthy love? Well, first off, when I'm sharing these spiritual concepts, which is based on the wisdom of Kabbalah,

Kabbalah is explaining what's happening on a soul level. Why our soul comes to this world? What is the karmic debt and spiritual baggage we're bringing into this world? The soul is then choosing

parents that align vibrationally with whatever it is I need to go through in order to become the greatest version of myself. So I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but if my soul brings this spiritual baggage of a fear of abandonment and in order for me to create miracles in my life and miracles in the area of sustenance, in love, in health and healing, in wisdom,

Just to have peace of mind and joy. In order for me to create those miracles, the Kabbalists explain that I have to transform the negativity that my soul came to the world with. But the only way to do that is actually to be put in situations that bring that out. Really? Yeah. A therapist might tell you, hey, look, you have abandonment issues because you...

had parents who divorced when you were young causing you to have these fears and have these avoided issues. Kabbalah says the opposite. Kabbalah says your soul already had these issues that brought from past life and you are now choosing parents that will be conducive to awaken what's already inside you. So it's almost like if you don't believe that you had a soul contract coming to this world, if you don't have a

foundational belief of like, okay, you were here with this type of wound or with this type of whatever, soul contract that you needed to heal, that you needed to, you actually need this challenge to become the greatest version of you. And without it, you won't be able to fulfill your life's mission.

You almost need to believe that in order to say, okay, this is all actually beautiful. The toxic relationships I've had, the abusive partners, the people that lied or cheated on me or the things that I did to other people that were out of integrity, this is actually beautiful.

meant to happen for you. Correct. So that you can learn how to overcome it. 100%. Because any other school of thought would always put you as the effect. And you will then always be looking on the outside who to blame. My parents did this. Correct. And then this person was a bad partner. Correct. And it's not the highest vibration. But I always tell people,

It's not about you need to believe that you had a soul contract. I always say like, I'm going to share this content, which is not my content. It's from thousands of years of ancient spiritual wisdom of all the sages and all the different religions actually that were very spiritual in its original intention and become more religious. Now, I always share like this wisdom has been there to show us that we are in control and that it is...

our birthright to have the absolute greatest life in every area. The Creator wants to give us even more than we want to receive. And it says that the Creator wants to give us endlessly more energy than even we know. But it looks like things are being deprived from us. It looks like

The world is a very dark place and people are against me and certain circumstances aren't fair and people are born in different situations that aren't fair. And it does look like that. But the truth is every single soul has a pathway to the greatest miracles that they could ever possibly imagine. Every soul has a pathway towards their soulmate, even if it looks like they don't.

Every soul has a pathway towards having financial freedom, even if it looks dark and impossible and you don't know where it's going to come from. There is a pathway. The fact that you don't see it, there's a spiritual reason. It's because our soul asked not to see it. Our soul asked not to be born with our soulmate. Our soul asked not to be born knowing our purpose. Our soul asked to be put in a world of darkness so that we could activate our God gene and earn

all of this fulfillment. So it shouldn't just be given to us. Anything that is just given to us makes us feel shame and we resent it. Because when you give someone something they have not earned, they feel the opposite. They feel they received less. So a lot of times people who don't appreciate us, it's not because we didn't give them enough, it's because we gave them too much.

And so they keep thinking, I'm not getting. But it's not that they're not getting. It's that we're giving them so much, we're flooding their vessel. And too much light becomes darkness. Really? Yeah. When you're giving, not understanding what the vessel can hold, appreciate, and use. Which vessel? Yours or the other person? Other person's vessel. This is the number one thing in relationships that's causing breakups to happen or resentment to happen.

Let's say, and I have an example of this. I remember coaching this couple. This guy basically said, "I found this amazing girl. We've been dating and it's finally. I found my dream girl. I'm so in love and this is amazing." It's been like three weeks. I said, "Amazing. What are you guys doing?" He's like, "I'm taking her here. I'm doing this. I'm introducing her to my family, all that." I'm giving her the world. Giving her the world. I said, "Wow, that's amazing." He's like, "Yeah." I said, "I would love to meet her."

I met her and she had this like beautiful like Rolex watch, but it was like a male. It wasn't a female watch. I said, that's a beautiful watch. It's kind of big on her wrist. It's kind of big on her wrist. She's like, yeah, Brandon got it for you. In three weeks of knowing her.

Yeah, so that for me, I looked at it and I said, that's so generous of him. And a very expensive gift within the first month of knowing a person. Later on, I found that he also gave her a credit card and said, hey, look, this is whatever you need. Because he wanted to make her feel comfortable. Of course. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. He wanted her to...

He understood her love language was gifts and acts of service. Like, I want to give that to her. Yeah. And he wanted her to feel safe and wow her or woo her as well. Correct. So I know, Kabbalistically, what happens to a soul when you give them too much energy, you give them too much of something that they have not earned or don't have the capacity to receive or are using it for their own lack and need. So this girl figured out how to get him to give to her

gifts, love, expression to fill her needs. Then I went to Brandon and I said, Brandon, you need to know something. I've seen this before. I know you're excited about this relationship. I know you don't want to lose it, but because you're so afraid of losing it, you're over giving and you're literally pouring 16 ounces of water in an eight ounce glass. And you're creating...

a standard that you're gonna have to live up to for the length of this relationship. If you're doing this much in the first few months and then you stop doing it, you think she's gonna be happy with that? She's gonna say, oh, you were creating a standard for me and now I expect $10,000 credit card every month and a new watch every month and shoes and the way you're wowing me in the first month

You think a woman's gonna be happy if you just cut it all off and say, "I'm gonna give you a lot less now." That's not gonna go well in the relationship. You're 100% correct because he thinks he's giving, but he is destroying. So he's actually taking from her by giving or what he thinks is giving.

But a lot of women watching or listening might say, that sounds like a dream man. He's just going to take me out and he's going to pay for everything and he's going to take me on expensive trips. He's in his masculine. This is great. He's going to provide for me right away the way I feel like I deserve. A man should treat me. I've met with thousands of women one-on-one. Maybe 20% of them have been in this situation. The way this usually ends up, if there isn't a spiritual course correct, is people

She leaves him. Why? She doesn't respect him. And this is what she says to her friends. I don't know. He's really in the frenzy. You're with a perfect guy. I know. I just... Something's missing. The spiritual connection is missing. The emotional connection is missing. The chemistry is missing. Something is missing. Because when you flood the vessel...

And you don't actually think from the consciousness of what's really good for the soul of this person. Because sometimes giving is setting a boundary. Sometimes giving is sharing how you feel, not from a reactive place, but explaining to her, hey, listen, these are needs that I have that aren't being met and I want to have a conversation about it. That's also giving. But if you're always just pacifying somebody, if you're not really thinking about how to grow their soul or to help them or inspire them, you're hurting them.

And eventually she will look for something else because it's not making her feel good on a soul level. This concept in Kabbalah is called the bread of shame. The bread of shame is a feeling you get when you receive something you have not either physically or spiritually earned. The number one way you know you have a bread of shame is when you feel frustrated, impatient, and judgmental.

When you feel very judgmental, you think it's because you're not getting what you want. It's actually because you're getting so much in your life, but you're not working for it. You're not breaking your fears and spiritually earning it. You're not pushing yourself to expand your vessel. So it's another case of there's so much light, you perceive it as darkness. Wow.

Think of the people who are not judgmental or appreciative. They are the people who are working the hardest. They are the people who are breaking through stuff. They are the people who are like, "What's the next thing I can...way I can give or I can transform?" These people aren't sitting around judging and speaking evil speech. Judgment and evil speech is always a result of not living up to your soul's potential and being stagnant spiritually. So you feel emptiness and then you want temporary energy.

And the highest form of temporary energy is evil speech and complaining because it's so easy. It's right there. It's like it's addictive. It's a drug. So the darkness people feel is not because they're not getting what they want. It's because there's too much energy, too much light, and they haven't built their vessel

to hold that energy. Kabbalah is all about how do I build my vessel? We are too consumed with trying to find out how do I get more light? How do I get more energy? How do I get more relationships? How do I get more dates? How do I get more people to love me? How do I get better looking? How do I get all these things? And less focused on how do I build my spiritual vessel to hold the energy that is already there? That's the only thing that matters.

And when you think that way, then you look at every relationship as an opportunity to build my vessel. Oh, I attracted a narcissist. I attracted somebody who's toxic. In order for people not to experience the energy of death and darkness, and eventually they have to leave this world and come back and fix it again, everyone is spiritually designed to come to us to activate the parts of us that are the weakest. So a narcissist or a toxic relationship

is the very beautiful thing, your soul, pre-programmed and predestined. Now, how do you avoid it? I'm not saying we need to... Should you avoid it? Well, we have free will. So Kabbalah explains there is destiny and there's free will and they both coexist. So what is the destiny?

On the day you are born, your entire life's destiny is already pre-programmed. Meaning every sneeze you have, every relationship you have, every heartbreak you have, how much money you're going to make, A to Z is already pre-programmed. So what's my free will? Parallel to this destiny, there are infinite destinies. Each of them look the same. It's like parallel realities. And each one that goes higher is a better destiny and a more fulfilling one. The only way to shift up a destiny or down a destiny

is to go through a period of darkness because in periods of darkness you see the weakness, you see what's called the soul's correction.

You see your garbage, you see your anger issues, you see your control issues, you see your abandonment issues, you see how you're not actually the nicest person, you see your savior issues, you see your people pleasing issues, and they all come to the surface when things aren't going our way. That is the moment of free will. You only have free will when you're in pain.

At that moment, if you act like God, if you act like the creator, and Kabbalah teaches how you do that, if you transform your nature at that moment, and I can give a tool practically for people how to do that, you shift to a new destiny, which is already pre-programmed, but better than the first. So for example... So you elevate your destiny. You elevate to a new destiny, which is already, it's better, but it's also pre-programmed as well. So there's an infinite amount of destinies. There's infinite parallel realities. And you could live...

you know, the greatest version of yourself, Destiny, or you could stay stuck until the end of your life. And just talk about all the narcissists in that Destiny all day long. By the way, I agree. In this life you have, there's probably five or six toxic and narcissistic men and women that are going to approach you. And they might be your parents, they might be your siblings, they might be like the closest people to you at birth. Right. And what happens, you know, I saw this beautiful thing. I think you did it with Mel Robbins. It's like,

she was talking about should you block or not block someone after a relationship. And somebody asked me the same question. I said, whether you block or don't block is not even a question that I desire to answer. You may need to, you may not need to. But if you block narcissist number one, indestiny number one,

You will be forced to meet narcissist number two within destiny number one. It's not a matter of blocking or not blocking. I want to know why your soul from the beginning of time requested him or her to come. Attracted them. You attracted them for a reason.

Often narcissists are attracted to the part of you that doesn't feel you deserve to receive love. We all have shame around receiving. I've seen this. I know we'll do a whole business thing. We'll do a whole prosperity thing. People are many of the most brilliant people aren't manifesting the wealth that is meant for them because they are subconsciously pushing it away because they feel they don't deserve.

So when you feel you don't deserve something, you will attract people who will point that out. And they will tell you. And they will gaslight you. And they will make you feel up and then down. And if all you do is blame them, if all you do is commiserate about them to your friends. Gossip about them. Or gossip about them. They're doing this to me. Can you believe that they did this? Correct. You stay in that same destiny.

But there's a good backup plan. The creator and the universe has a good backup plan. They knew that you might just blame them. So they had a backup number two, three, four, five, and six. Until you learn the lesson. Until you learn the lesson. Now, some people say, you know what? I'm done with men. I'm done with women. I've heard women say that now they're dating only women because all men are this way or all women are that way. I've heard it all.

I've done 25, 30,000 hours of coaching meeting every single kind of personality. This is interesting. What happens when a woman who has been hurt by men over and over again say, I'm swearing off all men. I'm never going to date another man again. I don't trust men. They've all hurt me. They've all been liars and cheaters and they...

They break my heart every time. I'm off men. I'm only going to focus on being with women. Or being alone. What happens to that woman when they make that declaration, that commitment, and they swear off? Okay.

and say I'm either gonna be single the rest of my life, 'cause I don't wanna deal with the BS or the pain or the lies of men, or I'm just gonna find a woman that I can be happy with. - So the creator has created a backup plan for that as well to make sure that you reach your perfection. So either you will find, let's say you actually find a woman who's actually great and you decided now to date women. And this woman is actually great and beautiful and nurturing and all these things, and then you decide to have a child with this woman. Your child will be the narcissist.

Somehow, and here's what's interesting. - It'll come back around, you've gotta face it. - You've gotta face it. The creator's backup plan is children and health. So eventually, your children will be the ones who will, 'cause you can't disown them. Now there are some wealthy people who also-- - Who disown them or send them away. - Exactly. But the one thing you can't disown is your body.

So I know many, many very, you know, people who are in very powerful positions and situations with all the money in the world and all the doctors in the world. It's very painful because now there's something that's developing inside their body and then they can't ignore it. And many times I meet those people after some form of sickness or loss, right? Some kind of death or something happened. It breaks their ego.

They realize they have a soul. They realize there's a bigger picture. They realize everything they've done in their life hasn't actually gotten them the feeling that they're looking for. And so they start to ask questions. And these questions are, what is the purpose of why I'm here? Why is my soul here? Why did this happen to me? Not from a victim point of view, but because they want to know. They don't want to repeat that pain again. So I always tell people, here is a spiritual law. If you think...

your ex or your last relationship was toxic and you believe it and you begin to tell people about it, you must repeat it. If you say your ex is toxic, you're saying the creator is toxic. Because nothing happens without the creator's infinite supervision. And influence. Yeah, yeah. So...

If your ex is toxic and you believe it and you're telling everyone, then you're saying that the creator is toxic. And when you say that, you're basically disconnecting from all of creation, obviously. So then energetically, it plunges you into a whole new process of having to actually go through more and more challenges to course correct you back onto your most miraculous path.

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Now, what's really powerful is, and this is how I'm really trying to focus on this in my own life every day.

I just want to be on the highest vibration possible. And that includes what? That includes certainty. Always be in a place of certainty. Certainty that everything is good. Certainty that everything will be good. Certainty that everything's coming from the Creator and it's good. And your phone falls on the floor and cracks, you say this is good. And if someone is speaking poorly about you, you say this is good. If all of a sudden you have a headache, you say this is good.

If you find out someone's cheating on you or taking your money or giving you a hard time or court case is not going your way, you say this is good. I'm not saying you just say this is good and you do nothing else, but in the beginning you must accept. Because when you accept and to the degree of your happiness in your acceptance, which also takes work, you vibrate on the level of godliness because the creator is a vibration of acceptance.

which means you reveal the light of the Creator, then the darkness goes away, and then the most miraculous path is created for you. If you don't vibrate on this level, then you enter into a different pathway that includes many more challenges to force you to the path of certainty again. So why not save the time and the trouble and just go straight to the certainty?

straight to the appreciation. And the third one is you always want to be giving more value than you receive because that's the Creator. The Creator is giving. As soon as you become a taker, you disconnect from the vibration of the Creator, which means you disconnect from the realm of miracles. And part of our spiritual work also is it looks like we're giving,

But if we have an agenda, we're actually still taking. - Really? - Yeah. So if I, I don't know, if I do you a favor, but in my mind, my consciousness. - Oh yeah, I want him to do something back for me. - I have an ask later on or whatever. At that moment, the energy actually shifts to the vibration of taking. And there's a lot of people out there, they're like, "I'm giving so much, I'm doing so much, why am I not seeing miracles?"

There's one or two reasons. You're expecting something in return. Well, exactly. There's one or two reasons. The first is you're expecting something in return that you're not aware of. It could even be validation. If somebody asks me, how are you going to get to your dream of reaching, let's say, 100 million people to bring Kamal to them? There's really only one way I can get there.

It's not the best marketing or the best content. It's I have to get to a place, which I'm not there, I'll be honest, I'm not there, that I don't need the validation of my audience in any way whatsoever. Meaning if they told me I am the worst human being or if they told me I'm the greatest human being, it would be the same. Then I'm not taking from my audience anymore. Yeah, it's one thing that I don't monetize my content. I'm not asking people to like do this and do that for me. Like that's one level of not taking.

But the highest level for all of us, content creators or, you know, if we're on a stage, when you have thousands of people saying, rah, rah, rah, you're the best and you feel good. And if you went home and a thousand people said you're the worst and you feel bad, it means you're still taking from the audience. But in humanity, we still have to deliver value and get results. And, you know, otherwise we won't survive. So there has to be some level of like,

Receiving, but not needing. Ah, okay. Interesting. If I need you to be happy, I'm taking. If I'm receiving from you, it's actually very powerful because one of the greatest forms of giving is to receive without needing. For example, if- What does that look like? Yeah. Yeah, what does that look like? How many times has someone come up to you and wanted to do you a favor, but you didn't need the favor?

And you actually, it's actually kind of a waste of time. I don't want the favor if they're expecting something else in return. Like, I'm going to give you this. I'm like, okay, what are you going to ask for? That's part of it. I don't need this. Right. That's part of it. So imagine you say, you know what, I will receive this gift. I receive whatever in order to give pleasure to the giver. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't want to block gifts either, right? You don't want to block gifts. If someone's going to give you something and you say, no, thank you for thinking of me and this generous gift, but I'm okay.

It's so painful to the giver. So now you're actually hurting the person. And you're blocking your abundance probably. Correct. There's a lot of people, and I've learned this early on, someone's going to come to you and give you a compliment. If you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, that's not me, or you block it, you're actually hurting the person. The greatest thing you can do when someone gives you a compliment is just say, thank you very much. Like, I really appreciate it. And after the compliment is made, don't let that feed

that part of you that has the abandonment issue. The ego in you. The ego in you or the lack in you or the pain in you or the thing that your mom didn't give you, your dad didn't give you. So Kabbalah kind of goes into those murky places of the soul to clean it up because then you can go around town, you can do everything without taking from the people, without using the people. You can just show up as a giver. But as long as you need the approval for whatever you haven't healed or corrected,

There's always going to be an element of taking in your giving. Interesting. What's been the biggest challenge you've faced in relationships? Personally? The thing that your soul came, that it's had to grow through or it's still learning how to grow through. Because from the age of 15, when I learned Kabbalah, so I'm 40 now, from the age of 15, I learned Kabbalah. At the age of 19, I...

I left school, I graduated school and I went to full-time volunteering teaching. So from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. I met people one-on-one and from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. I would give one or two seminars. And I was in a position of how do I just add value to the world? And it was the most powerful thing I did and I did that, I do that till today except the last 10 years also I have a business. So

I was put in a mode of how do I just take care of every single person? You call me until I am, I'm picking up the phone. Anywhere I went, there was an opportunity to take care of somebody. Give, give, give, give. Just give. And by giving away that you really help them, like care for them, whatever. However, and I know, you know, I'm, and I feel like one of the things I learned, especially when I got married and, you know, my marriage, we separated two years ago.

We are best friends today and we are like, there's no one in the world I love more than her. No one in the world. And we have an incredible relationship now. And you have four kids. And we have four kids. And you have a business. And we have a business together. We co-parent together. We own a business fully together. We are best friends. We talk about everything. There's no one I respect more in the world than her. One of the things I've learned in relationships and in dating is I totally shut down the part of me

that needed to learn what I wanted and what makes me happy. I found happiness in vicariously living through everyone else's success. It's part of why I was broke from 20

to 32. I didn't have a penny. I couldn't afford a wedding ring. I had to buy a $100 plastic piece of wedding ring for Mary Ruth because we had no money. We were in debt. But part of it was my own belief system that I don't deserve to receive anything. I'm here for the public. I'm here for humanity. I'm here for whatever. And I was trained to think in Kabbalah. Here's the thing. Kabbalah taught me how to

stop focusing on myself, I shouldn't be a giver. But there's something else Kabbalah teaches which I totally ignored, which is I also need to... Receive, right? The word Kabbalah means to receive. Really? It comes from the Hebrew word "lechabel" which means to receive. But all you were doing is kind of going against it by being the most altruistic service person you could be. Correct, because there are two parts to the spiritual path. One is to become like the Creator, you need to become the giver.

However, there's a second part and the second part I ignored for whatever reason. I ignored the, "Okay, now when you're in that vibration of giving, you need to create a vessel, a desire. You need to know what you want. You need to know who you are. You need to know what you stand for. You need to know what makes you happy. You need to know what boundaries to put and what boundaries not to put in order to receive from the world." Because the Creator can't be revealed unless we receive.

the creator created the creation to reveal the creator but if we don't receive we are literally shutting down creation so this has been one of the hardest things for me to

deep program and I have my Kabbalah colleagues I talk to regularly. I have coaches, I have mentors, I talk to you. I'm learning how to develop that part of me even as I date or as I kind of move on. How has that shown up for you then in relationship, intimate relationships in your 20s and I guess being married as well and now separated? Well, I'll tell you something. From the age of 20,

Until the day I got married, I didn't date. I didn't even look at one. Nothing. I didn't kiss a woman. Come on. I'm telling you. Come on. You kissed someone. I didn't kiss one. For 10 years? Not until the night of my wedding. No, come on, dude. No way. That's it. 10 years. 10 years. Why? You didn't kiss one woman. Not one. Not even like a peck on the lips? No. Come on, man. Really? Not even a peck. Why? Why?

Now, that's extreme. I don't say... I don't think anybody else... You were in monk mode. You were like, I'm in service, I'm a monk. Part of it is because I have an extreme personality. And I really wanted to be the best at whatever I do. Not until your wedding night? Not until my wedding night. Come on, dude. I've never said this publicly. I don't know. I've never said this publicly. So let's see how this is going to go. I mean, it's powerful. I don't know what kind of backlash I'm going to get after this. But what was my mindset? My mindset was...

I have a spiritual platform. I've seen many people in my position fall. Abuse it or... Abuse it. Obviously, I was surrounded by... You're surrounded by... Celebrities and beautiful women. All the time. People going through heartbreak or going through tragedy that are coming to you and see you as a spiritual teacher. Correct. Because you're there for them. There's transference. There's all these things that happen. And I just said, the simplest thing for me to do, and I told the creator, I said, creator, when I'm ready for my soulmate...

She will appear. And I do not want to think about dating. I don't want to even turn on that part of me. And look, did it work for me? It did work for me because I met the most incredible woman in the world. And we're born on the same day, same year. I'm two hours older. February 11th, 1984. Our moms were in labor at the same time, two different parts of the world. And we attracted each other vibrationally because we were meant to come together and to create something.

everything we've created and i knew i knew on day one when i met her she's the one end of story i didn't care about anything else and uh that was it we got married how did you know on day one you met her that she was the one but also she's not the one anymore in an intimate sexual relationship in a romantic way yes however she here's the thing about soulmates there are

many versions of soulmates. There are many aspects to soulmates. There are many parts of our soul that must match up with other souls. I think everyone's focused on like the one or the this or the that. I like to shift my focus to I am the one. I have to focus on I am the one because the only reason I'm here is to transform myself and to create a vessel for the light of the Creator which manifests as prosperity and love and all the beautiful things of this world. And we will meet people for whatever karmic reason

and whatever past life reason, whatever this life reason, to help us become the best version of ourselves. For whatever reason, you know, and obviously I want to be careful because we're talking about other souls and I want to be also respectful of privacy, but

For whatever reason, it was, we felt, it was deemed that our souls, in order to elevate to its next level, had to elevate in this way. And this is why our relationship today is, I mean, it's almost like strange for a lot of people because the love that we have, like if she needed a kidney, I would be first in line. Wow. Right? Right.

So you're still soulmates in a certain way, but you just have transformed the intimate relationship. Absolutely. And by the way, when I date, I make that clear on day one. Not that... What do you say? I say that the most important person in my life is the mother of my children. Right. Because I've seen this. If you look at the mother of your children as your children, this is the highest vibration, I believe. Because all the reasons why we don't... And I don't want to put a like...

Like, this is how it is for everyone. I want to be very sensitive because everyone has very different situations. There's so many karmic, so many difficult, painful situations. And I'm really sensitive to that and I've seen it and felt it. But the goal should be, the desire should be, if I had no ego and I had no fears and I had no personal issues, how would I treat the mother of my children? I would, you know, and the father of my children. It goes both ways. So many separations and divorces I see because maybe one person's hurt

or one person got rejected, then there's a power play. Then they want to hurt back. You know, there's a situation I know where, like, they're prolonging the divorce and making sure that they don't get the money because she stopped loving him and she loved somebody else, so he wants to teach her a lesson. Like, all of these things...

It's all, and I get it, because by the way, when you're in it, it's very painful because now what's happening? You feel betrayed or you feel this or you feel whatever. Yeah, but your soul came to this world to correct and cleanse and heal betrayal. Your soul saw that at the age of 25, you were asked for this woman to come in. And at the age of 38, she had to be taken away from you just so you could finally experience betrayal and transform it.

But in a past life, when this happened, what you did was you prolonged the divorce. You hurt her. You told the children that she's not a good person. You played games. So when your soul left this world, in the upper world, they made the calculation. They said, hey, listen, you only came to this world to heal betrayal and to love this other person unconditionally, even after she hurt you.

When your soul leaves your body, it sees everything. There's no ego. So the soul says, "Oh my God, I can't believe I spent the last 80 years. I totally didn't get it. All I did is hurt her. All I did is run after other forms of instant gratification. I ran after another relationship just to numb the pain, and I didn't work on my soul's correction." That's considered hell. Hell is the soul seeing all the missed opportunity.

What does the soul do? The soul says, please put me back into this world. So I can correct it. I can correct it. I want to be back with her again. Oh, man. I want to be back with her again. I want this whole situation. I want it to be exactly the way it was. Oh, by the way, that guy that she cheated on with, make sure he's there exactly the way he is. Oh, no. So I can correct it. So I can correct it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Because the soul also sees that if he were to correct it,

this world that's waiting for him, this new soulmate, this new wealth, this new everything, the wisdom. He saw all of it. He's like, oh my God, like if any part of the challenge was diminished, so would the reward be diminished. And he would not want that.

And the soul begs to come back in and then the process starts over. And then there's an astrological date where the soul comes in. And then based on that time and that place and that unique, exactly spiritual vortex, the soul is attracted to exactly the astrological influences that match its soul's correction. That's why that soul came at that moment. And then there's certain parents involved and the whole thing starts over. Wow.

This also, I don't know why I feel called to say this, but I'm just going to say it because maybe somebody needs to hear it. Say it. And every time I've shared this, for the last 20 years, there's always been at least one person that came up to me and said, because they heard this, it transformed their way of thinking about committing suicide. I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I'm sharing it now. Suicide is the complete shutdown of the desire to receive.

It's basically saying, "I do not want to receive anything." Which we have now learned the whole purpose of creation is to receive. So when a person takes their life, it creates such a soul correction that the soul has to come back. So what's happening here is, when a really great soul, an elevated soul, has a lot of karmic debt as a result of being a great soul,

they will go through certain periods of darkness. It could be mental illness. I mean, many things, circumstances that will make them feel there's no escape. There's no way out. There's no hope. I mean, so much pain, so much suffering, so much depression, so much agony. What's the point? Correct. And it gets to a place where they start to contemplate suicide.

Those thoughts, those feelings, those desires, there's nothing to be ashamed of. We have to know that your soul is so powerful. It's meant to do so many great things, but you're not allowed to see it. Because if you could see it, you wouldn't pass the test. It's actually, when a person is contemplating death, it's actually because of the highness of their soul and what they're meant to do, which they are not allowed to be shown. However, what they need to know is,

At that moment, if they do take their life, let's say at the age of 36, in two months, two weeks, at 2 p.m., they have this intense desire to leave this world. It is because in a past life, in the exact same moments, they had this desire and they took it. Then the soul leaves and says, oh my God, if I had just waited an hour, a day, a week, if I had just pushed through, every problem was about to be solved.

Everything, the soul sees it. And again, it begs to come back and it begs to go through the same painful, torturous, traumatic process up until the age of 36. And I always tell people, if you're thinking about this, you must know that you've been in this situation maybe hundreds or thousands of times before. This is the moment you can actually break the cycle. And you must know that if it's this dark, this bad, that is equivalent to the greatness that will come.

One time I shared this. In one of my classes, a woman came up to me and said, "I need to tell you something." This is the end of a 10-week course. She said that about 15 weeks ago, you know, she was very overweight, she had a lot of problems, she was being bullied. I think she was in her early 20s. She said, "I decided that I didn't want to live in this world anymore." I went into my room and I was kind of talking out loud to the Creator, to the world. I think she was Christian, she was spiritual.

Then she saw a book on her shelf. It was a book that her late father had given her because he saw that she was struggling. And it was actually a Kabbalah book. It's called Power of Kabbalah. What's it called? Power of Kabbalah. So she's drawn to the book because she remembers her father gave it to her. She never read it. She took the book out and she started reading a few pages and she felt like there's some soul connection to it.

And then she looked, flipped to the back of the page and saw like, where is there, you know, Kabbalah seminars. And then she saw that I was opening one a week later. She said, you know what? My father gave me this book. Maybe my father's speaking to me. I'm going to take, I'm going to go to this. But then she put in her calendar after the 10 weeks, she was going to end her life. She, she comes up to me at the end of the 10 weeks. She actually told me this and she got up in the class and said it. She said, look, tonight is the night that was supposed to take my life. Holy cow.

But I've gone through this journey and now I see that I'm meant for great things. Even though I was bullied, even though I'm overweight, even though I can't find a healthy relationship, even though I feel not loved. Beyond my logical mind, I am choosing to know that I am a vessel for great things, even though I cannot see it.

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And it's so powerful. So I don't know why we're talking about it, but whoever needs to hear it needs to know, no matter what your situation is, to the extent of the darkness you're going through, to the extent of the confusion you have, and to the extent you cannot see the future, it's to the extent of the greatness that is waiting for you. And you've been in the situation before.

So the bigger the pain, the bigger the greatness on the other side, if you're willing to go through it, make conscious decisions to improve your vessel of spiritual growth. 100%. I feel like I've only asked one question and we've already been going so deep on this. And I want to bring it back to a grounded thing that you talked about towards the beginning that we as human beings, and we're talking about relationships, but we as human beings,

From your perspective, from your beliefs, from these principles and these laws, our entire mission should be thinking about how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? How do I build a greater vessel within my soul so that I have the capacity to take on greater challenges and greater abundance? Would that be a correct statement for you?

That would be correct. So it's about, we should be focusing on our soul's vessel, not how do I meet the guy? How do I meet the girl to give me love, to make me feel loved, to make me look good on social media, to have fun with. We shouldn't be thinking about that when trying to create a relationship or get into a relationship. And again, this whole topic is about

really how to manifest a committed relationship and stop attracting toxic partners, stop attracting relationships that feel like, gosh, they're great for the first six months, and then it's just breakdown and problem and breakdown. But then I'm already...

chemically and emotionally entangled and sexually entangled and then I'm the parents and I already planned out the wedding and all these things and how do I get out of this now and then I repeat the cycle over and over again and what I'm hearing you say through all this is that most people are thinking that way as opposed to how do I build my soul and my spiritual vessel to be its greatest it can be and then from that place

Start dating. Beautiful. Start having conversations. Beautiful. Flirt with someone. Hey, let's go get a coffee. Let's go for a hike. Let's go walk. Let's do an activity together and just start having conversations from a place of,

What it sounds like, a healing journey, a journey of wanting to expand, a journey of how can I make this moment great? How can I be of service in this moment? Not how can I get something from someone or how can I gain pleasure or feel good about myself? How can I create that within? How can I know that I am the one for me? I don't need someone else to be the one. And when I become the vessel for myself that is needed to serve my highest purpose in this moment, in this day,

then I will be able to see people that I feel like are more in alignment with that vision as well. That they are more in alignment with creating a spiritual vessel within themselves. And then we can start to have conversations. Do we align spiritually with our life's mission? Is there alignment as opposed to,

When are we gonna have sex? When can I get a kiss from this person? When are they gonna buy me something? Is he the one? Is he the one? I don't know. What do my girlfriends think? What do they think? Do they like him? We're asking the wrong questions. Complete distraction. They're all distractions. Why are we so distracted when we're dating and looking at all the wrong things? Why is that happening for so many people? When the soul came to this world, it asked for an opponent.

And we all have an opponent. It's an energetic force. It's actually a positive force disguised as a negative one whose only job is to, at our level, challenge us, make us feel doubts,

worries and fears. So for example, so that's supposed to happen for everyone. That happens on everyone on their spiritual level. As you grow spiritually, so does your opponent because of the bread of shame in order to earn everything. Right? So people ask me because I make mistakes. I make mistakes every day. People are like, wait, you've been studying Kabbalah for 25 years. Should life's work? How are you? How have you? The first thing they said is how did your marriage not work? I said, I said, I said, no one should ever say their marriage did not work.

Nobody, forget about me. Nobody should say that. Nobody should say that that last relationship didn't work because then you're basically seeing the creator made a mistake. Everything worked as it should have. The only thing we need to focus on is what we can do to transform our vessel. Some people may need to have five marriages. I don't know.

Some people may need to only have one. Sometimes they say the soulmate or the, you know, a different level of soulmate comes in the second marriage. There's many different opinions and spiritual writings. But what we know for sure is you are here. It is only you in the light of the Creator. Everything else is there designed for your greatness.

So every time you say something, it was a waste of time. Every time you say something, it was a mistake. Every time you say he is toxic, she is toxic, he's a bad person, all you're doing is shrinking your vessel and delaying your wedding date. Let's say you just got out of a relationship that you found to be painful. Every day that you tell people

That was toxic. That, I wish I never got into it. It was horrible. She was horrible. And they wasted my life and they stole time from me. And my best years are beyond me and all these things. All of these things. He or she robbed me of my best. Every word that you say on that vibration delays the meeting of your soulmate by another hour. Imagine that. So instead, choose today.

to bless this person, to love this person, to reach out. I mean, look, there's work involved here, right? I'm saying the headline, but there's work involved. And if someone has sexually abused you or harmed you or been emotionally abusive or controlled and done some horrible things, what do you say to maybe a man or a woman who's like, no, this person was just horrible. It wasn't just, oh, they were emotionally abusive here and there and it was a waste of four years of my life, but they beat me, they sexually abused me, they freaking...

You know, cheated on me with my best friend behind my back for years and lied about it. Like, what if they did some really bad things? How do you bless and want the best for someone who has really hurt you? This is a very horrible thing. This is a very painful thing. This is, I hope that no one has to go through this. I hope that my children, God forbid, if children went through this, it's like a horrible thing.

We must acknowledge that that is a painful thing, that is a horrible thing. And by the way, if someone came to me and said that, I wouldn't be like, well, everything's from the creator and you need to see it as good. Absolutely not. We need to be there for people and feel their pain and empathize with them and go down into the mud and the disgusting, painful situation with them. And we cannot judge them for it. That's number one. Now, if you're asking me,

How do I get to the ultimate results where I will be happy and I will have my greatest life and I will have miracles and I will have success and I will find my soulmate quickly? I would say if you could at least start with the desire and the prayer to the universe and say, look, I'm not there. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I am in pain. I feel like garbage. I feel so betrayed and hurt. I am at the bottom.

But I desire to not be there. I desire to be on the vibration of love. I don't know how I'm going to get there, but you start there. It says that the universe remobilizes all the forces in this world to support you to get there. You will always be led by your desire. If you desire, for example, to rob a bank, the creator will show you how to do it. You will be sent thieves. You will be sent other people who are on that vibration who want money.

to steal from the bank and you will manifest it. A thief, a very good thief could also be a very good businessman and a very good husband because he knows how to manifest his desire. His desire is to steal. Now imagine you take that desire and you shift it to something positive. When I was 14 years old, I...

I started playing poker like eight, nine hours a day. I was trading in the stock market. I was addicted to gambling. At 14? At 14, 15. How do you have money to do these things? Well, I mean, at 15, I made my first million dollars because I was obsessed. I had all this energy. I didn't know what to do with it. How did you make a million dollars at 15?

It was, I asked my father for a little bit. My parents really believed in me. They saw my, I said, look, you give me a little bit of money. I will bring it back 24th.

So he's like, all right, fine. Trade in this account. And I had fun with it. So it was through the stock market. It was through the stock market. And through, I went to casinos. I mean, it was a very interesting time. So I brought all of this kind of energy, which is really interesting because I did a Kabbalistic chart reading when I was like 16 years old when I first came to study Kabbalah. I said nothing. I sat there.

She said, based on the time, the place, everything. And, you know, there's also intuition involved because people feel your soul. People feel things. They see things. She said, she looked at it. She said, past life gambler.

I said, "What?" She said, "Based on your chart, you have an addictive personality, past life gambler, and it's one of the things you need to correct in this life." You were already starting it as a teenager. She had no clue. I'm 16 years old. I think she's thinking, "Hey, be careful when you get older." She said to me, she said, "For you to fulfill your correction, I would avoid casinos." What's interesting, yeah. After I heard that, I realized, "Oh my God, this desire I have, which I've been channeling through gambling,

and addictive behavior, if I could channel all of this desire and energy into helping people, it's the same methodology. It's just desire and then the creator will help you with that. So then I'm like, well, what's the greatest thing I can put my energy into to be successful? I always wanted to be a billionaire when I was young.

That's why my parents were like, you're doing what? I graduated UCLA top of my class. I had a perfect score in my SATs. I had everything going for me. I was supposed to go to Ivy League school. I was supposed to be their golden child. My brother's a physician. Everybody loves him. I'm from a Persian family in Los Angeles. And I told my parents, I want to join a nonprofit and teach Kabbalah. They said, you want to do what?

They said, how much money are you going to make? I said, no, no, you don't make money. Yeah, you pay. Yeah, exactly. They're like, wait, what? How are you going to live? I said, no, they pay for my housing and my food and I get to focus on the people. They're like, well, how are you going to raise your family? I don't know. How are you going to, what woman's ever going to want to be with you? I said, I don't know. I said, all I know is

I believe that if I can channel my energy to help other people find their soulmate and other people find their wealth and other people, according to the spiritual laws, I will get everything. I don't know how it's going to happen. They lost their mind. But, you know, they totally lost their mind for a couple of years.

But my mom always told me, she said, look, I always knew that you'd figure things out. So we didn't totally freak out. My parents trusted the process. My brother trusted the process. And you were putting your energy towards good. You were being in service. So what parents are going to say, stop helping people? You were focusing your energy on something positive as opposed to, I'm going to go...

just travel the world and take drugs all day or something. You weren't like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just going to figure it out for five or 10 years. You were like, I'm on a mission. I'm here to serve. I'm here to learn. I'm here to help humanity.

Correct. And they thought it was very noble, but they're like, can you just do it a couple hours a week? Right, right, right, yeah. Can you make money doing it? Can you make money? I mean, like, you had made money and you have the potential and, like, you know, they're thinking like parents. Like, how are you going to live? Like, who's going to take care of you? I remember when I got married, I had a couple thousand dollars in my bank account from birthday money I had saved up. And you never kissed anyone. I never kissed anyone. I made experience. And I didn't have...

I have a credit card and have credit. I remember we had to like sign the lease and I'm like, I don't have any credit. What's credit? I didn't even know what was going on. And I mean, we'll talk about this probably in the business podcast because that began my business. That began the most miraculous journey of miracle after miracle to create, you know, what's today Mirrored with Organics. That was the moment. So the first 10 years of my life, it was...

about how to just create that spiritual vessel. And I believe, you know, I don't know how many people, in the millions of people I got to connect with and touch and whatever. And also not having received for myself, I think helped tremendously. It helps to become pure because you're not thinking about, well, what am I going to take from this person? Or how much are you going to pay me? Or it was really a beautiful thing. I do believe without a shadow of a doubt, those 10 years,

created the vessel for the... For abundance. For the vessel of abundance that came through Mary Woods, which we'll talk about in the next part. That's powerful. Now, here's a question I think everyone is asking, which is, how do we get on the vibration of love to be able to receive the love we want? How do we get on the vibration of love to be able to get the love we want to receive? First thing that comes to mind is you can only receive love

what you believe you deserve to receive. That's the first question I would ask all of us because you could read all of the books about love and dating and relationships. You could be on all the apps, you could have the best photos. You could have the best profile. You could have a matchmaker out there scouring the earth to find your soulmate. You could have a beautiful physique and have amazing personality.

However, your belief system about receiving is your capacity to receive. This goes for financial, well-being, but especially love. And I ask this question to myself and I tell everyone to ask it to themselves. What do you believe you deserve to receive? And it's very interesting because if you really look deep down inside, it's not just like one answer. It's a pie chart.

If I take this pie chart, there's probably 50% that believes I deserve to be in a healthy relationship. There's probably 20% that you're not aware of that believes you should be in an abusive one. Why do people think they deserve to be in an abusive relationship?

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And they, what do we do with shame? We feel, we hide and we diminish ourselves. So we subconsciously want someone to diminish us in order to not feel guilty about the shame. So the way we say it's 20% that kind of desire, 50% could just be a really healthy desire for love. Then there's maybe 20% that I want my freedom.

And I have a belief system that relationships equal a loss of freedom. Or I'm trapped or if I'm committed then I'm going to miss out on something else or whatever it might be. Correct. Maybe there's another 10% that believes that relationships are a really beautiful thing to help you grow spiritually, which is a very positive desire. You look at this pie chart, you will see that this pie chart represents your entire dating life. You will see that maybe the 50%, because it's the bigger part of the pie,

You go in these relationships that last three to six months and they're very healthy, but then the 20% of "I don't deserve" kicks in, or the 20% of "I need my freedom" kicks in. And when that desire kicks in, you start to self-sabotage. You're not aware of it. So you start to become avoidant. You start to do things that are not in line with what you were before. And here's the thing, it's not about judging anyone. I tell people, I'm very curious always,

If someone was loving you for three to six months and then all of a sudden they're not present and they're avoidant, they're not a narcissist. They're not, "Oh, he love-bombed me and he manipulated me." No, that's not what... I get that's what we say to try to understand our pain,

But if you really look at it on a soul level, everything is happening commensurate with the desires of the person that they came to heal, that you both chose to find each other for in order to do it. Whether it's for our nights or weeks or months or years. Correct. And they are not allowed to enter your orbit unless your soul gave permission. You cannot get into the king's chamber. There are so many guards around the king.

And walls. If someone got into your life, into the king's chamber, if they're sitting at dinner with you and you're having a conversation, you start dating, do you know how much permission must have been given spiritually? For decades, for centuries, just for that moment for the person to show up at the same moment as you. 100%. All the things that had to go wrong or go right in order for you guys to meet in that moment.

100%. Isn't it crazy to think? It's unbelievable. It's profound. It makes me feel like, wow, this world is so big and so vast and so amazing how small we are. But we get into our, I know what's going on. And then here's the thing. The social media algorithm knows- Feeds you. What we're going through. So they just validate it and paint. Yeah, yeah. Over and over again. Yeah. It's not like if I-

in trying to find out about like, you know, abusive relationships, I just keep getting videos that acknowledge the abuse and makes it harder for me to actually do my soul correction. My vessel shrinks more and more, my vibration drops, and I will have to go through a very painful situation to restart that whole process. Now, I want to ask you a very important question. What is the difference between what men want

and what women want in a healthy long-term relationship. And before you answer it, for anyone watching and listening right now, leave a comment below of the biggest takeaways so far that this episode has supported you with. So if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment below, like this video, share with a friend. If you're listening on Apple, Spotify, wherever it might be, share this with someone and ask them their biggest takeaway on this episode.

And the question is, what on a soul level do men and women really want and are there differences? And before you answer, I want to let people know that they have to follow and subscribe in order to get the answer because we're going to go into part two on relationships with this question.

So again, what men and women really want on a soul level. We're going to do a full second episode on this topic right now that will come out soon. So make sure to follow this, subscribe. I think there's a lot here to get people started with. I want to recap a few things. And before you continue, people should know, you and I, we go, we read, Louis messages me like all day long, look at this comment.

Look at this question. What do you think of this? We are reading everything. We're reading it all. We're sharing it with each other. So this isn't like bots or RT. Lewis and I have a text,

Chain look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. You see this Yeah, people are coming up to us left and right and saying oh I the first episode will have the first episode also linked up so you can go through that and I think that'll be important if this is the first time you're hearing about this or this someone sent you this go watch the first episode we did But there's a few things here. And again, we're going to go into a part two in a second But there's a few things here. I want to recap

The whole thing should be figuring out how do I build my vessel on a spiritual and soul level and expand it for healthy, abundant, harmonious, aligned love. I think a lot of people who are single or struggling in relationships are trying to figure out how do we make this work? How do I find the right partner? How do I find my soulmate, which is what we're going to go into? What do men and women really want? How do I think like them? You know,

I'm done with men. I'm done with women. All these things, right? And we're talking about in this episode is how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? And I will have a really powerful example for you when we do the next show. It just came to me. I'm going to share that example of how I've seen a man change overnight because a woman took some spiritual advice and shifted her consciousness. She literally...

Woke up the next day and recognized my husband. Wow. So how you can shift your partner in a powerful way. Don't try to change your partner, but how do you shift it to a destiny where your partner, you're like, wait, that's not the same human I even married. Interesting. But one of the things that you said here that I think really resonated with me that I think a lot of people...

If they can learn how to do this, which I want to actually go into in the second episode, is how do we build the belief that we are deserving of the love we want? Which I don't think we didn't talk about how to shift the belief of how to believe differently that we are deserving. So I want to talk about that as well in the second part and understanding how

You need to be the one not finding the one as well. And how do we build that up? We're gonna be talking about that in episode two on relationships. So again, make sure to like this, leave a comment below. What are some of the questions that you have? What's your biggest takeaway? Share this with one friend and we're gonna learn more on the second episode. So David, thank you so much for being here. And we'll have everything linked up as well with the previous episode and what you're working on. But I'm very excited for what people are gonna learn in the second episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as

ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

And now it's time to go out there and do something great.