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cover of episode The Arc of Love - Young Love

The Arc of Love - Young Love

2024/7/15
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

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E
Esther Perel
女方
男方
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男方:这对年轻情侣面临着异地恋和移民问题带来的挑战。他努力工作,承担经济重担,希望未来能给女友稳定的生活和承诺,但他感到身心俱疲,像个35岁的人。他曾帮助母亲获得美国公民身份,这让他深刻理解了女性在婚姻中的依赖性,也让他在与女友的关系中承担了过多的责任。他努力工作,但女友却觉得他缺乏关注和连接,这让他感到困惑和无力。他喜欢女友的独立性,但女友在美国时却会放弃独立性,依赖他来照顾自己。他希望女友能理解他的付出,但他又害怕表达自己的感受会让女友感到有压力。 女方:为了维持这段跨国恋情,她牺牲了很多,并希望未来能获得稳定的生活和承诺。她努力工作,但因为异地恋和移民问题,她感到孤独和缺乏安全感。她担心男方因为工作而忽略她,也担心男方晋升后会因此而忽略她。她在墨西哥拥有独立的事业和生活,但来到美国后,她的独立性有所下降。她希望获得男方的更多关注和连接,但她又害怕表达自己的感受会让男方感到有压力。她认为男方没有充分理解她的牺牲,这让她感到不满。 Esther Perel: 这对情侣面临着异地恋、移民和文化差异带来的挑战。他们互相比较谁的牺牲更大,陷入了一种无意义的竞争中。他们缺乏有效的沟通,男方试图解决女友的问题,但女友需要的并非解决问题,而是被理解和认可。女方在美国时,会放弃自己的独立性,依赖男方来照顾自己。Esther Perel建议双方建立更广泛的社交圈,获得更多支持,并改变彼此的依赖模式。她建议男方将负罪感转化为感激之情,以更好地回应女友的付出。她提醒双方关注关系中的乐趣和活力,不要只关注挑战和负担。

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A young couple navigates the complexities of a long-distance relationship due to immigration status, grappling with sacrifices and the fear of legal changes affecting their future.

Shownotes Transcript

They met in college; he's a U.S. citizen and she's trapped in a cross-border limbo. Their young love complicated by immigration status and politics, Esther helps them appreciate each other's sacrifices as they contemplate marriage.

What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.

Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter)

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