George Wendt (Re-Release)
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I think it was the year that Woody came in. Welcome back to Where Everybody Knows Your Name. For the next few weeks, we're revisiting some of our favorite episodes from last year before we come back with all new interviews in a few weeks. We know you've been loving all the Cheers nostalgia, so we thought, what the heck, let's revisit our conversation with George Wendt. It was the first one we ever recorded.

Which I think will become blatantly clear. We were both so nervous. Anyway, we talked about how George got cast as Norm Peterson and the infamous time we all played hooky. So here he is, George Wendt. The incredible George Wendt.

who did all 275 episodes of Cheers. Did anyone else do all of them, or was it just you? I can't remember. I don't think so. It was you guys and Rhea. Rhea had a couple of babies. You, Rhea, and Teddy. But on the night, we had to shoot around Teddy when he went to Africa for a movie. That's... Oh, so he didn't really do it. No, and nor did Rhea, because she had a couple of kids. Well, she had three, but only two. So was you. Period. Production.

It was you, just you. Your three kids never interfered with your ability to get there and shoot the episode. I think the heading is reminiscing at the moment. Okay. And then catching up with anything you want to catch up with. I love this combination because you and I, roughly the same age, right? We were like 37 or something when...

Woody at age 25 showed up and immediately there was this sense of kind of a pissing contest, you know, let's, let's show the young buck who we are, the new boy. And I remember taking him out to play basketball. Do you remember? Uh, yeah. And he kicked our ass. Yeah. Basically. Well, that's the thing about Woody. He's a gamer, you know, like, uh, he would kick your ass in basketball and then he would beat you in chess.

And then he would beat you in arm wrestling. And then he would beat you in a water fight. And then he would beat you in poker. And you know what I mean? It's like he likes to win. It's true to the point where if we had a good practical joke, it would be a waste to do on anyone except Woody. Woody was the focal point of the, you know. I remember also you'd come in on Monday.

And eventually, he'd be late. But he'd come in and we'd both go, come on, come on, Sherry, tell us what you did this weekend. I know. You know, what was funny is you're saying it from your perspective. From my perspective, I was like so scared. Like, God, these guys, you know, like.

I just looked at you guys as just these walking gods. And like, I just was, I was very nervous. Hey, hand on a Bible. Is this true? Or is this you doing a bit? This is true. And, but I mean, I'm saying, you know, this is at first, eventually you guys made me feel so welcome and at home. And then there was also the thing of coach being, you know, passing. You were stepping into someone else's heart. Yeah. Remember? Yeah.

Like the first day, like I remember we were all like, we were still reading from the script at that point. And, and I remember we're all like, you know, getting our blocking and just the very first, first doing it. And then Shelly goes, I just,

so strange, you know? Oh, not to have Nick there. Yeah. Nick isn't here and there's this new face. So you didn't, but you hadn't seen the night I met you. You had not seen Cheers yet. Oh, when we met at the store. Yeah. We were at Gelson's. That's right. And I see these two young guys giggling and faces turning red and pointing at me and

And we'd been on the air for like two years, maybe two and a half. Three. Three. And so I was sort of used to it. And eventually one boy prevailed and pushed the other over to me. And it was Wood. And he goes, I just wanted to say hello. My friend told me, you know, I'm auditioning for your show tomorrow. Are you kidding? And I said, oh, oh, that's great, man. Well, yeah.

Tell you what, good luck with that. And hey, what's your name anyway? Woody. Oh, no, no, not the character's name. What's your name? He goes, Woody. I go, I think I might be seeing you tomorrow. Yeah, so yeah, that was, I forget who I was with at that time, but I do remember. Clint. Oh, or Clem. Clem.

No, no, it was Clint. It was Clint. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. He said he's on cheer because I hadn't seen it yet. Yeah. You know, cause I was a television addict already by then. Right. I was a television addict and then I quit television cold Turkey when I went to college and I didn't watch it again, which cheers, you know, started while I was in college. It was 82, I believe. And then, uh,

So, and I didn't want to do television. I wanted to do theater. Yeah. And I had been on a sabbatical from the play to go do this movie with Goldie Hawn. And then while I was, that was, that happened while I was finishing it up and I was in LA. And I ran into Leo Jeter, who's from our college. And he said, you know, I just auditioned for this show. Cheers. You should audition. The part is, they're calling the part Woody. Yeah.

And you should audition for it. And I said, well, I don't really want to do TV. He says, well, this is a pretty special TV. Well, after I met you and then that next day I did the audition. And then I'm like, at the end of the audition, then they're like, you know, we're going to bring you in for the, what do you call it? The.

The thing where the last thing where you got to sign the network audition. Network, yeah. That's what they call it. And so you got to sign your life away at that point. So I'm like, well, I better watch this show. And then I watched it. I'm like, oh, my God, this is a good show. And, you know, the way it was so different qualitatively, just cinematically, because it was, like, filmed. Yeah. So you look at other television and it was...

And even the set was pretty amazing. Richard. Yeah, that's right. And the lighting, the way he could light. So you could be anywhere on the set and it kind of worked for, it was, it really was a big character, the set itself and the show, because it was like doing theater. You, you had to be everyone on in the bar had to be live at all times. Cause you'd be in the background. Yeah.

You know, I've almost every shot. Yeah. And, you know, the audience for the audience, it is theater. And, you know, so and you think about a theater is a master, you know, like, yeah, honest to God, I was, you know, like a theater improv, but still it was stage work. Right. You know, I didn't know. I had no idea where the cameras were ever. I was only playing to the house. Right.

Oh, you mean during Cheers? Yeah. I mean the first couple of years. Right, right, right. Afterwards, I was like, wait a minute, I'm not drinking this piss. The camera's way over there. Right. The only thing I realized about cameras was...

If you had, because we were all live and you would be crossing in behind the bar, Ria would be crossing behind, you know, we were, you were in your corner, but there was lots of crossing and everything. And I noticed that when I had a great joke, Ria, Woody, everyone would be crossing right behind me. If I had a crappy joke, it was like, you know, tumbleweeds. No one could be found in the shot. It's like, no, no, stay away from that.

There is. We're bouncing all around. This is not urban legend, though, that when we would be in the middle of the week rehearsing and we would notice that one of us was having trouble with a pretty hefty speech or something or a moment.

We would get glints in our eyes. We loved it. And we would go, oh, we'll be there for you on the night. And then we had those. Spitballs. Those little short straws, bar straws. Cocktail straws. Yeah. And there was actually, I think, a shot, or at least this is the urban legend.

Where you can see a spitball in your hairline where one of us had managed to land one while you were trying to do your... Well, I'll never forget. I hit you right in the uvula. Yes. Seriously, you were laughing like that. Your mouth was that open. And I saw it and it was a zen moment. Yeah.

ding and it's sorry land on your uvula but that led to realizing that this is a great new version of the game and we would actually do that we would open our mouth and stand back yeah

God, that was fun. We remember we did that even on the, at the, the thing with Jay Leno at the very end, we were doing spit balls. We were so drunk by the time that came around. They had brought us in. This was the, we had finished shooting and we hadn't seen each other for two or three months. And this was the final goodbye. The episode was airing and Jay Leno was going to have this.

after final episode episode and they brought us into the bar to do interviews at like two in the afternoon and we were in the bar at cheers bull and finch what do you do in a bar you start drinking and then later you start smoking and so by the time literally that jay leno

He looked up from his notes and they were going five, four, three. And he looked up and saw us all really for the first time. And his eyes started to spin going, Oh my, we got a lot of shit for that. Remember? Well, not, not only, sorry, I'm put it back on Jay, but not only was he, uh,

uh green i think it was his first live episode probably he may have never done it like again after that i wouldn't blame him yeah it was uh we were we were in poor shape to be doing it i think actually the only sober person was kelsey everyone else everyone else because he was kind of mandatorily yeah maybe i don't know but i remember the rest of us ironic

Okay, go back to casting. How did you get cast? What was that process for you? Yeah, my agent called and said, you know, honey, they want you to do this. Cheers. Now, you're not available because I had this other show at Paramount, right? It was for CBS. And then they go, but they want you to come in anyway. And it's really small, though. I go, oh, okay.

Well, I like those guys. You know, you remember them from Taxi. Yeah, yeah. And what's what? How small? Well, it's really just one line ago. Oh, OK. Oh, actually, you know, it's one word. I'm like, oh, really? Well, you know, come to think of it, it's one syllable. Yeah.

What's the syllable? She goes, beer. And the bit was Shelly, it was to be a tag, which didn't really exist on our show afterwards. And Shelly was the end of the pilot. And Shelly was going to go, hi, I'm Diane. I'll be your waitress. Well, I'm not really a waitress. I'm an academic. And she goes into a page long dialogue.

recap of her, you know, as she did. And then she goes, oh, I'm sorry, I should be taking your order. What can I get you? And I go, beer. And she goes, beer, perfect. And that was the end of the episode. But they said that Colzac, Stephen Colzac said, that's, you know, it's too small. We can't get a, don't read that. Here, read this other. And it was George. And so... Read this other, wait, what? This other role, the role of George,

And so I read it and then they decided they were going to try to make a workout where I could do both shows. And then the other show got canceled. Making the grade. Making the grade.

So I was thinking about that because, you know, as I was saying earlier, Teddy, like, you know, I learned some things just looking through these bios that I didn't know, like making the grade was 82 and you did six episodes and then it got canceled and you must have been so freaking demoralized. And yet.

Thank God. Yeah. Actually, the day that we did not get picked up for making the grade, the offer came in for cheers. They knew because it was Paramount, Paramount. Oh, oh. So, you know. Now, your part in the pilot, though, got bigger because I can remember one of my favorite lines is you trying to make conversation with Shelly.

What are you reading? A book? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's it. Wasn't that in the pilot or no, it might've been as the George character, which I didn't, didn't really see till later. But, and then, you know, one day about, uh, not too long ago, seven, eight years ago, um, I, uh, was doing a symposium with, uh, Glenn and less than Jimmy at UC Santa Barbara. Uh,

And, uh, they were having a Q and a with this audience and I was sitting back. Oh, they meant for me to come on about halfway through the program as a surprise. And so, uh, but I'm watching Glenn unless I'm in the wing, you know, it's just sitting on a barstool. Um, and, um,

they're, uh, answering all these questions. Someone said, now, did you, uh, have anybody in mind when you were writing, uh, cheers? And they go, Oh God, no. Oh no. Oh, we saw everybody in Hollywood and New York. And, uh, you know, we, we, you know, months and months of meticulous casting and chemistry. And, uh, and this is for, you know, Sam and Diane. And then they go,

But Rhea, we did have Rhea in mind. And George. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm sitting. Now I find out, like, 20 years later? And you think of it, the role was written George. But anyway, I know that other people were considered, but they fessed up to that. That was weird. I didn't know the George part, that there was a character named George. Yeah. Yeah.

That became Norm? Yeah, they changed it to Norm when they cast me. So when they were writing it, they called it George? In the script, it was George, yeah. Were they involved with making the grade? No, but I had done Taxi. Oh, right. And did a bit. It was a fun bit. I must have scored.

Teddy, you scored on Taxi. I was doing Taxi, kind of a last-minute replacement to come down and do it. But that was when I was shooting that or rehearsing that. I got called into Les and Glenn and Jimmy's office to talk about Cheers. That was the first time I heard about it. Talking about auditioning, I met him a couple times and read maybe once or twice and

And then at one point they said, okay, great. Do us a favor. Don't take any other work until you check with us. And I went, so does that mean it's my part? And they went, no, no, just check with us before. And I walk out. There were two entrances. There was an entrance and an exit in their office. It was on the second floor. And I walk out the back door.

And I see a line of actors coming up. Oh, man.

I think for sure. I don't think I know for a fact that I got the part because of Shelley, that Shelley and I read well together. And Shelley was such a, you know, home run for that part. The chemistry. Was she already cast at that point or no? No, but she was, I think everybody's favorite. They knew that she was the one. Sorry. She knew they knew she was the one who was going to play that part. But that's a little disheartening walking out the wrong door and seeing that long line. Yeah. But,

But actually, this was the first time in my life I did not do that. Oh, I won't get it. Oh, I won't. I just, some part of me went, don't do that. Just, yeah, I think this could be yours kind of thing. And it was. Nice. The hopeful voice. Do you ever have that moment where you go, it happened to me, I don't know, probably 10 years ago or a few, but all of a sudden I went, oh my God, I got to play.

Sam Malone, you know, struck me. Wow. Unbelievable. What an amazing character. And I got to play Sam Malone. But the cool story is rats. Yes. Oh yeah. He went in for my role, you know, for George. Yeah. And, uh, he sensed it wasn't going well. And then he literally in this case had one foot out the door and everybody's well, thanks for coming in. Yeah. Thanks.

One foot out the door, he pops his head back in. Do you have a bar? No at all.

And they go, no, what do you mean? And he started riffing as that character. Yeah. Yeah. Cliff. He just started going off a little bit, talking, and then just there like, holy shit, this guy. To this day, Cliff. He had a lot of, I can't remember the name of his group, but it was like him and another guy. Sales Meat Market. Right. It was him and this guy, Ray. But where did that, was that in? UK. UK.

Yeah. Huh? England. UK. Yeah, he worked street theater and everything, I think, right? Yeah, like 10 years. And pretty much every war movie ever made out of... He was the yank, yeah. He was the yank. Well, just for somebody to be able to...

turn around and have the wherewithal after you know you've sunk your back. It's no good. Chutzpah. And then that's chutzpah. And you got to have that 10 years of

serious, you know, street theater under your belt because you had, you had second city, right? I did. And how long did you do second city? Six. Six years? Chicago. Yeah. And I didn't know the thing. That was another thing I learned on these notes here that you came in first day, they hand you a broom. There you go, kid. Yeah.

yeah no it's like uh i think you're ready this is the workshop teacher right josephine forsberg i think you might be ready for the children's theater oh my this is amazing because they worked right on the you know the main stage at second city so i thought that'd be just where all these people were joe flaherty and brian murray and harold ramis and

And, um, and so, yeah, come Sunday, come in at 11 o'clock. I know. Oh, I thought the show was at two 30. Yeah. Just come in at 11. And, um,

I ring the doorbell. Nobody, nobody, nobody. Finally, I get let in, and she hands me the broom and the dustpan. What happens is she wanted me to sweep up the room, and the night porter didn't come in until a couple hours before the show. So it was, you know, cocktail glasses everywhere, cigarette butts on the floors and in drinks and in ashtrays. You know, like I had to clean up the room, the house. Yeah.

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Equal Housing Opportunity, C-A-D-R-E, number 01521930. So wait, how did you go from being kicked out of or asked to leave or whatever it was with your 0-0-0 grade point average from Notre Dame? But that bears mentioning like how you even get a 0.00. That seems almost impossible. Well, I was rocking a solid 2.0 my first two years. Yeah.

And then junior year, I thought it'd be cool to move off campus because, you know, I was a big boy. But I didn't have a car, and I just didn't think it through. I lived a couple of miles off campus, and, you know, South Bend in the winter, you know, like I just...

I didn't, I wasn't going to hitchhike, you know, I wasn't going to freeze my ass off and, um, you know, or take the bus or I didn't, I just didn't, I had no idea how to get there.

I mean, I knew the way, but I wasn't going to get up and walk out at 8 o'clock in the morning. So I just didn't go to any classes or exams. And not shocked that I got a telegram. No U.S. mail. I got a telegram. Do not come back after first semester junior year. So then what happened?

Oh, I, then I, you know, stayed at home for a while and my parents were like, what are you going to do with your life? Life, life. And, uh, so I, uh, I got to get it out of here. So I went to this other college, Rutgers college and a university now Rutgers in New Jersey. No, Rockhurst. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Harvard. No. And, uh, uh,

After that, you know, once again, my parents, what are you going to do, do, do, do with your life, life, life, life? Get me out of here. And this friend of mine said, oh, you don't know what you're going to do? I got no idea. And he goes, well, then I know what you do. What? What? You go to Europe. I go, yeah? You can just do that? He goes, yeah. Just, you know, get some job and...

you know get you know it's 165 bucks round trip to to uh luxembourg city from new york and uh really and so that's what i did so i i honked around europe for about two years give or take really so wait is that you working or well i came home i came i came home uh

in between like uh and worked at my dad's office for a while and just living at home so it was really easy to save up a few hundred bucks and to go back go back yeah i think you know it's getting cold i think i'll winter in spain wow yeah and how did you because you really had sleeping on the side of the road uh living on lemons and hashish that you know um

I can attest to the sustaining powers of lemons. So how'd you get to Second City? Well, I said, I can't keep doing this. And so I did the process of elimination. Lemon? Sorry, elimination. Process of elimination. I was determined to do a job that I wouldn't hate. Right.

So, I went through, look at teacher, and I'd hate that. Sales, I'd hate that. Doctor, out of the question. Policeman, fireman, cop, cowboy, you know, like, I thought, no, I hate everything. Except for Second City. I'd seen that in college, and I thought, wow, if I could do that, I bet I wouldn't hate that. So, you know, I didn't even...

think about a career in entertainment, you know, let alone being on a, you know, on classic hit sitcom. I just wanted to be in Second City. And so it's something to say for short-term goals. And it wasn't until I was there for a couple of years that I go, well, I guess, I guess I'm an actor. Yeah.

I think that's the way to go. Oh, sorry. I think, sorry. No, I apologize. No, you, please. No, you go ahead. Okay, no, I'll ask you. Georgie. Yeah. God, did we get that on camera? But did you, how did you go from, you had the broom to suddenly you're on the stage? Because that's not an easy transition. Well, I just kept working, you know, in the workshops. And, you know, this is the first time I ever applied myself at anything.

And so, you know, it was really fun. And I dug it. You know who my buddy was in the workshop? Brandon Tartikoff. What? Yeah. Isn't that weird? Amazing. Brandon, who basically is responsible for Shearer's thing on the air that first year. Yeah. You know, and so because we were just pals in workshop and then.

I remember we had this showcase for the workshop students, like a little Saturday night here and there in this local church nearby. And Brandon and I were both too green to be involved, but we wanted to be involved, but we couldn't be on stage yet. So I volunteered to do the chairs, set up the chairs and break down the chairs. And Brandon was running this coffee shop.

uh, concession, uh, coffee and whatever cupcakes. And, uh, after this magnificent show, like, uh, people were blown away and Brandon and I were just stars in our eyes. And, uh, you know, we were just on the sideline. And, uh, so I'm breaking down the chairs after the show and Brandon's breaking down the coffee table and stuff.

And he says to me, George, one of these days it's going to be you and me up there. Wow.

It was. We have a photo of that somewhere. There's a great photo of you topless, you topless, and Brandon Tartikoff, who was his official. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. Who released that picture after 30 years or whatever? Yeah, I don't know. Ken Gottlieb, maybe. Who knows? But that's the way you should start what ends up being the passion of your life, not caring where it leads, just knowing you have to be part of it.

I just was determined not to do something I hated. Yeah. But so it took like a year or many months or how long before you finally got to get on stage? It was only a year in the workshops, actually. And so the first time you're up there and you're improvising for the first time in front of a crowd. Yeah. What was that like? I sucked. You know, I improv really, you know, for as long as I did it.

I was never really very good at it. I would get in my head a lot and be self-conscious. Maybe it was the weed.

Did you write? Did you have to write, you know, like Saturday Night Live? Do the people write the material? You eventually do. I mean, you improvise bits. Yeah. And then the director, the late Del Close. Oh, wow. Yeah. Geez. He would, you know, essentially be like a head writer. You know, he'd watch the, you know, the improv set and improvise.

you know, let you know, you know, there's a chunk of this scene that we could maybe develop into something else, you know, a scene that otherwise didn't really work on its own. But, you know, so and then you sort of fine tune, you know, you keep improvising it and then it gets to a point where like this, this just works kind of every time we try it. And then you pretty much lock it in.

uh the you know so it's scripted at the end right right and i was much stronger with the scripted material than i was with the um and and is it word for word scripted or you have no way within that well you don't want to you know the beats you don't want to blow you know the beats and you don't want to blow anybody's uh

Set up or punch or something, you know, so you, it was pretty tightly scripted. And Del Close was pretty hardcore though, wasn't he? Like he could rain some terror down on people. Yeah. And he was, you know, I'll never forget, uh, you know, he, he was a notorious substance abuser, notorious. I mean, uh, and, um, one time he, he came back, we were in previews, uh, for a new show.

And he came backstage at intermission and he goes, I've figured out the closer. We're going to do the entire second act as walruses. And we all just kind of looked at each other like, and I saw Danny Breen, my, you know, friend, great friend, walking behind to the payphone backstage. And I see him ding, ding, you know, with a couple of whatever dimes or quarters and

He dials Bernie Solins, the producer who lived nearby. Bernie? Yes. Del wants us to do the second act as walruses. He says, I'll be right over. So how did you get from there to Los Angeles? Bernadette got a pilot. So wait, how does Bernadette, your wife, Right.

fit into this story at Second City. Was she there as well? She was. She was in the touring company and I got fired after about a year in the resident company. I had sort of a steady progression. I spent like a year in the workshops, including the children's show. Then a year in the touring company on the road, you know, doing sort of best of material.

then, uh, got invited to join the resident company. And I was in there for about a year and sucking at improv, like I said. And, uh, so I basically got fired and, uh, but they said, don't go away. Just go back in the touring company. Um, cause we have a bunch of work and we want you to, you know, continue to, you know, whatever. And so that's where I met Bernadette was in the touring company. And, uh,

And we got married in like two years later. Oh, and then she, then I got back in the resident company and Bernadette gets this pilot in LA. And so she came back after about three weeks in LA. I said, you know, I think we ought to consider moving. And so I did. She said, she said we should move. Yeah. Yeah. She was getting a lot of attention. Yeah.

you know, managers and agents and, oh, you got to move out here, that kind of thing. You can't work out of Chicago. For all you Cheers watchers, Bernadette played Norm Peterson's off-screen, right? Correct. Wife who we never saw but heard of. And also Cliff Clavin's one-time love interest, Tinkerbell. I got that. He was Ponce de León.

And he was like a, you know, he got into character as this great conquistadoro. And he was full of, you know, full of stuff. And then once they took the masks off, neither of them could talk. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. I remember that. Wow.

So jumping forward into when you started doing Cheers and then you had a kind of a radical change of lifestyle, would you say? Going from anonymity to fame and all that. Oh, yeah. That was peculiar, wasn't it? What was it like for you then? Oh, I don't know. Mindfuck, I guess. Yeah.

It took a year or so for that to kind of happen in my case. I mean, yeah. Yeah. No, it took a year. Oh, that's right. Because Cheers was dead last in the ratings at first. Hey, hey. I'm just saying it's a great story because –

Turned out well. What's his name? You know, decided to keep it on. What's his name? We were just talking about him. Brandon. Brandon, yeah. Brandon Tarkoff said, no, we're going to stick with it. He got credited for saving cheers, but he said later in some interview, oh, I would have replaced them. We just didn't have anything good enough to replace. Yeah. And Grant Tinker, of course, was the actual boss.

But so, like, in the first year, people are starting to recognize you. Eh, not really. More like, you know, when America caught on, second, third year, sort of. Pretty much when you started. One of the highlight shows that we all, it was when Kevin McHale, remember when Kevin McHale?

Celtics was on the show. And he would go around and say, you know, Woody, you have a shot just like, and he'd name some famous basketball player. And the rest of us were incredibly jealous. Well, this, this sports writer, a friend of mine and friend of many, Alan Malamud, the late Alan Malamud called me one day and said, yeah, Ron Shelton's doing this movie and yeah, he can't find anybody who plays basketball. And,

you said you play with Woody. Can he play? And I go, yeah, yeah, he's good. No, really, because they can't find anybody. And I said, well, how would you describe it? I said, well, if you put Woody like...

In a game of like a division two or three college basketball team, you know, he would not look out of place. You wouldn't go, who's that guy? What's that all about? You know, he didn't fit right in. He goes, hmm, I'll tell Ron. Wow.

Okay, say thank you. So you're responsible basically for my career. And I'm just finding out. Thank you. I mean, that doesn't seem like enough of a word, but thank you. Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it.

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Auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USA auto insurance and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote today. Restrictions apply. We don't have to talk about Jimmy Burrows, our director, in detail right now. But that was one of the things that made him so amazing was he let everybody, he let you be insane until...

Unless it interfered with... No, until you were in front of the camera. He'd say, you're comedy commandos. I don't care how you do, what you do during rehearsal, as long as you show up. On Tuesday. Yeah, on the night. And he would see it once at the read-through or any of the table reads or once in rehearsal, and he'd know, okay, he's got that. And if you start rehearsing stuff...

Too much, you know, a lot of us, this sounds really pretentious, but, you know, it's like we're jazz men, you know, we kind of get bored with our choices after a few times. Yeah.

And you want to move on. But, you know, there's really one that really just was right. And Jimmy knew that we'd come back to that one on the night. I think that there was times because you how do you stay fresh when you've done a show eight, nine, 10, 11 years? And part of the thing was we would not learn it to the point where we were a little scared when we came in. Like, oh, I went too far. I went too far this time. Kelsey.

was really practicing that for a little bit. But Kelsey was insane. Kelsey would be on book and not just as an affectation. He would have his script and he'd be reading it right up until, you know, 20 minutes before we shot it. And then he'd come in and be word perfect. Right.

It was unreal. Yeah. It was. After a while, John and I would be sitting there next to each other. You know, I'm talking about like year eight or nine or something. And they go, okay, A-Scene, stand by. And I'd look at John and say, any idea? He'd go, nope. Nope.

And, but then once, so you prayed that your first, the first line wasn't your bit. Yeah. So somebody started to go, oh, this bit, you know, as long as once it started, we'd know where we were. You guys. George, you remember that time? This is the first time this ever happened to me was when we were doing, this is probably at least, you know, several years into it for me, probably six, seven years into it.

Where we went up and you and I were smoking a joint and thought we were done. Remember? And then they're like, Woody, come down for your monologue in CNC. And I'm like, and I go down. And what would have taken one time. Yeah.

One, two, three attempts. And then Jimmy's like, Woody, you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, fine, fine. Everything's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem. Let's do it again. It took like 10 times to finally get it. And that was the first time I tried

while stoned, which I realized that don't mix. Not a good thing. Don't mind you. I tried it a couple other times, but each time I learned the same lesson. Yeah. It's not, no. It's a word of paranoia. You,

You would after the audience left. Self-conscious. After the audience left, you went from that horrible near beer or whatever it was you had to drink. We would drink real beer after the audience left. Yeah. Even sometimes while the audience was there, slip in a beer. Once in a while, you know. Usually after they left. Professional all the way. Yeah. Yeah. You.

Woody and George and Kirstie were involved with the prank on me. I think about six months before I had pantsed you, you were wearing sweatpants and all day long, George and I and John were going, Woody, put on some fucking underwear. My God, you know, because of your sweatpants were slightly revealing. And then we brought in an audience would start watching us when we were

In our eighth or ninth year, they'd bring in an audience to watch dress rehearsal or whatever it was.

And there was a moment where you jumped on this table. I'm sitting next to the table and your character jumps up on the table and makes a huge announcement. And I swear to God, I hadn't planned it, but I was looking at your offending member. And so I grabbed your sweatpants and jerked them down to your ankles. And you were rightfully horribly embarrassed. Yeah. I thought it was great. And...

Four months pass. Wow, no retribution. I'm clear. This is good. I go in to take a shower right before show. George knocks on the door and says, do you mind if I come in and shave while you're in the shower? I went, no, that's fine. So the door is primed by you to be open. And I can't quite remember. I think you...

You dove in, grabbed the shower door, and swung it open, and Kirstie took a Polaroid of me in all my glory. Confirming your leading man status. Thank you. Thank you. And then it showed up during the rap party. We put it on a rap video. Andy Ackerman put it on there. Yeah. Yeah. That was great. It was embarrassing, but...

Well, I mean, even Steven. So what about the boat ride? Okay. It was our hooky day. Remember? Yeah. It was, as I recall, it was a very, uh, female heavy show. Diane had a old something pal from college. I want to say. And, um, and Ria was a real big part of it. And, um,

And we... And Bebe, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was a girl, you know. And so we felt like we could maybe... John had just bought a boat. Boston Whaler. Yeah. And he was anxious to show it off. So we cooked up this little getaway. I remember we all met at his boat. Woody and I by then were already stoned. And we got on the phone, on a pay phone, and called in.

to Jimmy or called into the show saying, To Brian. Yeah, Brian, you're right. I'm not feeling too good. I can't come in and then hand the phone to the next person. I'm not feeling. So it was clear that we were playing hooky. I think somebody said, Yeah, I'm seasick. And yeah, I got peer pressure. So we get on the boat.

And Kelsey immediately had been up all night playing cards, went down to the lower bunk and fell asleep. The whole way. The whole way. He was sound asleep.

Woody turns to me and goes, have you ever had mushrooms? And I go, no, no, I haven't. And he said, well, this will be a good time. We have nothing to do. We'll be on a boat and da-da-da. And we hadn't had breakfast, so I was fairly hungry and ate, I think, an extraordinary amount of mushrooms. And then I'm thinking, oh, this is all right. Then off we go, and we're halfway to Catalina.

And this is true. There was the leftover waves from a hurricane in Mexico that was still a huge swell. So people not on mushrooms would be seasick pretty much. But I sat there getting more and more and more freaked out and whatever it is, you get stoned or whatever it is on mushrooms. And I look at you, Woody, and you stretched out on a bunk. And I think, oh, he's so used to this.

that he's just cooling and relaxing. I am panicking. I'm having trouble breathing. I'll go up top. And I came and sat down next to you. And you looked at me and you went, you're high on something, aren't you? And I kind of nodded sheepishly. And John was like, oh, for crying out loud.

But you spent the next 45 minutes poking me about every minute or two and said, breathe. Because I would literally forget to breathe and feel like I was dying. And then you'd poke me. And then, Woody, you finally came up. Because you were afraid. Well, I should let you speak for yourself. But you said you were afraid you might jump off the back of the boat. So you better come up. And that was my one kind of visual moment.

uh, you know, you know, I, I, I looked at you and you looked skeletal. You looked like Woody, the skeleton in my eyes. That was my only kind of visual buzz from mushroom. Well, that's, I remember you looked like that too. And also G was having a bad trip. No, I don't think you were. I think he did. No, I, on the way back, I was seasick.

But didn't you do mushrooms too? No, I did not. No. Oh, I thought you did. No, he was our lifesaver. No. Well, I just thought how noble it was that you were trying to calm him down when you were tripping, but you weren't. No, I wasn't. But you did look like a hologram of yourself. I've yet to do mushrooms again. You just weren't breathing at all. I think I'm ready to do mushrooms again. Because it is a good thing, right? Mushrooms.

Well, I guess it depends on the setting, but definitely in the middle of a hurricane. No, no, no. Pacific Ocean. No, that was, I mean, the boat was really going, like the mast thing was going. Yeah.

It was nasty. It was the worst four hours of my life. Truly. And we were in such trouble. I thought that... Yeah. I didn't think anyone would give a shit. They called us in one at a time to give a shit the next day. Well, it was fair. We shouldn't have done that. No, but we'd been perfect for like six, seven years. I thought the hip move... Well, it would have been extravagant, but I thought Burroughs should have...

rented a helicopter with the girls and brought them and meet us on the pier. And when we got off the boat, he'd go, okay, ACing is up. What? Oh, Jesus. Their complaint was, you should have told us. We would have let you. And it was like, but that's not hooky, Jimmy. That's not hooky. Just calling in the morning was, I thought, pretty noble. Yeah. Gals, we had to roust them.

He didn't wake up. He came alive when we got to Albana, wherever we were in Catalina. Yeah. Kelsey had two amazing, like, super moves that were his...

And one was, remember how he would eat just the tiniest bit of something and chew it like forever? You know, when we'd go eat together, he'd be three times longer consuming his food than anybody. Oh, I forgot that. He would eat butter. And he'd eat butter. Remember that? He'd just take the knife and he'd take a little piece of the butter wedge and then another little piece. Yeah.

He's got the constitution of a horse, so whatever he was doing worked. But his other superpower was his ability to just sleep and just go deep into the sleep and restore, come back ready to run. I'll give you one more. He did not wear shoes on stage. Oh, he didn't wear shoes, but he would play basketball with us. No shoes. Yeah, no shoes, barefoot. Flat-footed. He was flat-footed, man. He still is.

i suppose we should give a maritime to defend himself well i think we crushed it guys i think we did a whole year's worth of reminiscing not so but oh there's more but there is there's so much more that i know we're not thinking of favorite favorite bits favorite bits that you remember while shooting i get both of my favorite bits are woody's

Um, and, uh, people always ask what's my favorite show. And I, I say jumping jerks when the boys went skydiving and we all chickened out. And, but, but, and then we go, uh, oh man, we're not, I'm not jumping. Neither am I, neither am I. And it's like, but we can't tell them back at the bar. We can't say we chickened out.

Right. We got to come up with a story. Right. Right. Right. But we got to be able to stick to it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's got to be simple and believable. Simple and believable. Simple and believable. I got it, says Sam. We jumped, the parachutes opened, and we landed. It's simple.

It's believable. Right. We jumped. Parachutes up. Okay. We got it. We go back in the bar. Oh, man. I never felt so alive. That was amazing. What happened? What? Are you kidding? It was great. It was amazing. Wood and Ria. Carla smells a rat.

And she goes up to Woody, Woody, what happened? He goes, what, what? We jumped, the parachute's open, and we landed. It was all very simple and believable. And my other favorite joke or bit was also Woody. It was one of the Bar Wars episodes. And Gary, you know, we're pranking Gary's Old Town Tavern.

And where's Woody? I don't know. And then, oh, my God, Woody's missing. You don't suppose. And then in the background, you see Woody, like, done up like Houdini, hanging by his heels upside down in a rope, gaffer's tape all over his, you know, body.

And he's swinging back and forth, you know, on this back stairs, right? So we go, there he is. There's Woody. We all run and we open the door and Woody's going, and we're like, oh my God, he's trying to tell us something. What's he saying? I don't know. He's got the tape. And we take it off. And we rip the gaffer's tape off his mouth. He goes, don't rip the tape off me.

You're the only one that did something. You had a bit that stopped the show. We literally stopped shooting because the audience wouldn't stop laughing. And I can't remember the setup. Maybe you do. But they had rigged you. You know, you guys were supposed to be hot and sweating or something. I can't remember the setup. And they had rigged a tube up your shirt. And so...

You were just pouring from your armpits. Yeah. And water wasn't even playing. Oh, so it was glycerin? It was oil. Yeah, I think. They had to use like three-in-one oil or something to make... I took off my sport coat and was like, am I pitted or what? You know, like... Yeah, yeah. I forget the setup, though. Yeah. Jimmy...

claims this is the only time he ever had to cut the camera on a laugh. Remember that one time Rats did a thing where he did a long pause, but the laugh was... Oh, oh, that's right. Remember that? And it was almost a challenge during rehearsal. It kept going longer and longer. And as long as he paused, he got funnier and funnier. Remember that? I do. I forget what the bit was of it.

It was hysterical, man. You must have been with us by then. Maybe it had to be your first year. Nick Colisanto, who played the coach, had passed away with about four or five shows left in the third season. And Nicky, we didn't realize, I didn't, I don't know if you did, didn't realize that he had a heart condition, heart disease. And he knew that when he came to the show, but

He was getting more and more forgetful. To our eye, he was just getting more and more forgetful. But, you know, he wasn't getting the oxygen he needed because of his heart. So he would write down on every surface in the bar his lines. And he had one line where he had an entrance where the show was about that he had just lost his friend, a lifelong friend his age, and had died. T-Bone, Scarpigioni. Wow. Wow.

And he had written his line on the back of where we all enter, you know, the stairs. And it was on the flat side, not the audience side. He had written his line so he wouldn't forget it when he entered the bar.

And the line was something like, it's almost as if he's still here with us. Yeah. Right? It's almost as if T-Bone is still here with us. Yeah. And then the first time we came back, and you had to be there because that was your first show, Woody, we noticed it.

And it was so, I think we all basically burst into tears because it was how we were all feeling. And then we would make a ritual for the next four or five years. As we came down to greet the audience, everyone would touch the, it's almost like he's here with us kind of. That was your ritual. I got the tongue from Kirstie. Yeah.

But one day, the painters had decided on the off season to paint the flats and painted over that. And we all damn near quit. We were so angry when we came back.

That's just bad. Who does that? You're going to cover that stuff up. We also went to his dressing room after he died, and he had an old sepia photograph of Geronimo. It's a very famous photograph. And we insisted that they hang it in the bar. Remember that? Yeah. It's the one you fussed with at the end of the last episode. Okay. Yeah.

We reminisced. Wow. Georgie, thank you. Sure. Yeah, thanks, G-Man. Oh, yeah. Appreciate it. The great George Wendt, everybody. That was so much fun. We haven't been together for quite a while, and to reminisce and laugh and giggle like silly people was a great joy. And who knows? You might even hear some more Cheers guests in the future. Actually, you will, for sure.

That's our show for this week. Thank you so much for listening. Even though we are a young podcast, I am so happy to hear that listeners like you are actually tuning in and wanting to hear us chit-chat for an hour or more. But really, it's a privilege for me and for Woody to share our friends with you.

And thank you for all of those who've left great ratings and reviews on Apple Podcasts. It truly means a lot. If you like this episode, be sure and tell a friend and subscribe on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes whenever they land. Thanks again, everybody. See you right back here next week where everybody knows your name. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes.

The show is produced by me, Nick Leal. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gann, Mary Steenburgen, and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarrete.

We'll have more for you next time. Everybody knows your name. This is Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast, the promo. And in 30 seconds, I'm going to tell you why you should check out the show. I, the host, Scott Aukerman, have a lighthearted conversation with famous celebrities like Jon Hamm, Alison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Lyonne, Bob Odenkirk, just to name a few.

Things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well. Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians, as well as some new hilarious voices. Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast. Listen every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts.

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