Laura Dern (Re-Release)
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Welcome back to Where Everybody Knows Your Name. This week, we're going down memory lane and revisiting our conversation with the lovely Laura Dern. We'll have all new episodes for you later this month, which I'm super excited about. So keep on the lookout. Anyway, Laura's a gem. I met her through my wife, Mary Steenburgen. And over the years, she's really been a true friend to not just me, but Woody as well.

In addition to her Oscars and Emmy-winning roles, she is an author. Her book is called Honey Baby Mine, and it's a deep and soulful conversation with her mother, the legendary actor Diane Ladd. We get into that and even the time when she had to drop out of college to work on Blue Velvet. Can you imagine? Well, here she is, our dear friend, Laura Durst.

I'm not pitching your book, even though I will tell you I've read about 100 pages. And it is so beautiful. And the fact that you took your mom and wanted to extend her life by, you know, the doctors telling you that if she walked, she would expand her lungs and she'd get better. And it was the last thing she wanted to do. And you decided, let's just talk. We'll have fun talking. And then you realized it was a great thing and recorded it.

But it was the most loving thing. I've grown to love you even more as a result of reading this book. It was such a generous act of child to mom. Really, really loving. Well, first of all, thank you, Ted. But I have to say, as the shout out to...

my children's godfather. During that time, you and Mary were the people who were literally dropping food off mom's door and always there. Just incredible, extraordinary lovers of support and life and living. Was Woody anywhere nearby? Woody was there in spirit, always. Always there in spirit. Woody has never left my side in spirit since the day we met.

That's a good start. Come on. When did you meet? See, there you go. When did you meet Woody? When did you guys meet? Yeah, we met doing a play here in L.A. with James L. Brooks, our director. And I mean, the minute you meet Woody, you never don't have Woody for the rest of your life. And Laura. That is true. Thank you. It's an amazing thing. And the same with Ted. That's why you guys have a podcast. Yeah.

Because you're the two greatest empaths I've ever met. So damn it. Empaths. Define empaths. Not deeply narcissistic. Let's start there. Incredibly generous to those you love.

I take that as an effrontery to say that we're not deeply narcissistic. That's like a slap in the face in Hollywood. I know. You can be. You can be. You can definitely be one on set. When you need it, you can be a radical narcissist on a red carpet. Are we allowed to cuss? What's happening? Yeah. Okay, great. Okay, I started limiting myself. I'm back. Yeah. But...

But yeah, you can be a narcissist whenever you choose, but you show up like no one else in my life, both of you. And that's a beautiful thing. And for like the entire family. Yeah. We're talking, you saying you pointing to me and Woody, but I really draft in on your dear friend, Mary Steenburgen.

You know, it's your relationship that led me to you. I mean, she adores you, loves you like a sister. Yeah. Yeah. Because she's the greatest human ever. I'm a little angry you got her instead of me. I wish I was married to Mary Steenburgen. I'm just going to be honest. I thought for a minute you meant me. Okay, never mind. All right.

Not a lot of sleep last night. See? Narcissism whenever you want it. Yeah, that's it. It'll spring forth. Headphones are the best thing for a narcissist. Right. I know. God, I sound good. Is Laura talking now? I better focus. You know, I did research on you because I figure I know you, but there's a lot of things I learned.

Really? What did you learn? I mean, I've known you since, you know, 33 years. So crazy. Wow, that's crazy. But like, I didn't know, okay, for example... Tell me. Oh, your first thing that you did was basically you were directed by Martin Scorsese. True. That's incredible. At age six or seven? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, in truth, it was a movie my mom did, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, with him. And...

And amazingly, you know, he saw my interest and I, you know, I just wanted to be there watching, which I guess some of the other kids were like running off to do what seemed to be more fun. And that was a fun space for me. And so he let me be an extra in a scene. But the thing that was like beyond transformative and definitely the reason I'm an actor is

is my mom and Ellen Burstyn have a scene in that movie in a bathroom. And he wanted them to feel alone and improvise and, you know, have this experience as these two single moms, now waitresses at this diner. And so he put the camera on the outside through a crack in the door. And he called me over and let me lean down and look through the crack under camera. And I watched two things. Wow.

I watched 120 people, all with different passions, all with different crafts, come together to make one thing. And I just thought that was amazing. It was my, I think my first true experience of a team sport, you know, of just like, all these people have to work in unison to make this thing fly and this story come to life.

And then also I watched him fall in love with moments of these two women connecting lines that were working and watch him start to kind of push them toward improvising or lead them toward a story and then let them go. And them discover their emotional life, their characters, the playing off of each other, the irreverence even in the heartbreak.

And so that was the moment I was like, oh, I want to do that thing. I don't think I understood acting, but I loved how these people worked together. That was just so exciting. And so I truly that was the moment I said, oh, I'm doing that job, whatever that job is.

I'm in, which is a total cheat because it was Scorsese and my mom and Ellen Burstyn. And you were exposed to amazing, you know, women, Shelley Winters and the relationships you had with your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, another thing. Or maybe you knew that before. No, I didn't know that before. Yeah. Yeah. Which was incredible. And this amazing group of women who were sisters to my mom. And you mentioned Mary, much like I have in my relationship with Mary, and

you know, you find this sisterhood in the people you work with or the people we collect, which we're so lucky to have. I was raised as an only child, so it means so much to me to have found family with you guys and others. And, um,

and all grow up together. We're honorary sisters, Woody and I, basically. We have that side. We have that side. Thank you. Oh, you know, the wifey, the other day, she has this dinner with these other wonderful, amazing goddesses, and they all go have their little goddess, you know, gab fest, whatever.

And it was the first time, literally, it's been, I don't know, 25 years that I came at the end of it. And I wasn't, they didn't even know I was coming. I just came. And it's this great Italian place over there. Anyway, I go and they warmly welcomed me.

Ordered up some more vino. Amazing. And it was incredible. So now I am an honorary sister. So thank you for bringing that up. Acknowledging that. You got that in your soul. Yeah. I loved our time. We had a beautiful dinner in Hawaii recently. And you started that dinner.

Obviously eating so beautifully clean and conscious and protective of the planet, but choosing having not had a drink in quite a while and saying absolutely not.

Right. And I think about 45 minutes later, we were on to our second bottle of red wine. Every time I see you, Laura, I got to say it makes me so happy. It's like I just feel so lucky to be around you. And, you know, and I also do admire you in a huge way. We've worked together on a few occasions.

including this movie, Wilson, which is, I think, the phenomenal... You know how you have those little golden gems that no one sees? But, you know, like, I thought you were so amazing in that. Like, I just watched you work. In fact, you had an idea of... My favorite scene in the movie was your idea that we needed it, and it was like you come to visit me in prison. And that scene is...

To this day, one of the greatest experiences I've had as an actor. And you're just, you are amazing, man. That was incredible. That was a great movie. First of all, yes. And for everyone listening, Woody is extraordinary in that movie. And it's such a beautiful film. And it's also a film about...

conquering rage and loneliness and discovering yourself. Like it's such a tender, beautiful movie, even though we're a shit show in it, which is why it's delicious. But he still somehow believes in me, despite me being just the worst mess you can imagine. And we had the time of our life. We had a full summer together on the lake.

Lake Minnetonka. Lake Minnetonka. Yeah. You know, Minneapolis, outside of Minneapolis. And it was beautiful and hilarious. And we, I mean, played ridiculously all summer long while also making this movie in which we do everything under the sun.

Yeah. Fight, beat the shit out of each other. Yeah. Well, you beat the shit out of me. Yeah, I beat the shit out of you. That's true. But I just think you're such an incredible actress. Like everything you participate in, you elevate it to such a degree. Like even I see you do things where there's nothing to do. You're walking to the door or something. You know, it's like you're walking down the side and you make it so interesting and, you

You know, you're just, you're so great. But you do it. Go on. But I was going to say, you're so great that there was not too long ago. I was, I had, I was doing a part and I was like feeling unconfident. Like I don't even know how to act. And I thought, well, who do I ask? I got to talk to Laura Dern and get some tips on acting. This is only in the last couple of years.

And then I was like, I'm like, I can't call her and start asking her how to act. Like, it's going to be so embarrassing to even first admit I don't know how to act. Totally get that. Anyway. But I think that's all of us, especially when we're about to start a job. And we're sure we if we ever knew, we've definitely forgotten.

You know, the terror that comes in. Which is what you need to do because you need to start at zero every time and not go, well, I was good when I did this and I'll do that again. Yeah. You know, it's not knowing. But one of the things, I mean, speaking of acting or the opportunities to be creative people and storytellers that moved me so much about the scene Woody referred to is we were working in an active prison.

And we were standing outside. They, you know, walked us around the back to an entrance where we could access this visitor's room that we were going to use for this scene. And if you remember, we were in the parking lot and trying to find this very emotional scene and moment that also has to find super sad and funny things in it, but it's heartbreaking. Yeah.

And right before we walked in, what was beautiful is instead of being busy knowing how to act and knowing what we were about to do in the scene, we both came with complete innocence and like, we don't know what's going to happen. And it was a new scene. And so we agreed to allow ourselves to have the experience of honoring where we were. We didn't need anything else.

But the walk itself and all the people we came in contact with and the pain in that building and the longing in that building and the loneliness in that building and all the stories, all the lies, you know, like in the story, right? There's my truth, your truth, and then the truth.

And obviously, in the brokenness of the justice system in this country, like we have no idea what people are carrying in that space or what's been projected onto them. So by the time we got to that visitor's room, we were both ready because it's always all around you. And I'm so lucky that I worked with David Lynch. I've worked with him my whole life, but I started working with him at 17 because he is open to everything.

And everything is kind of a miracle to David. Like if there's a thunderstorm, so you can't shoot the scene where you're meant to, and you have to run and race around and find another location, it's because that location is the perfect location. We were meant to be at this new location. And so I woke up to like, oh, it's all here for us. It's not, you know, and hopefully like the book with my mom or anything else in life, we're here for each other in this moment. We have this opportunity. That's,

That's the high art of life, you know? But we often don't tell each other the truth, don't talk to each other, block out the noise, we think it's noise, on a movie set so we can do our job that we've decided we're supposed to do. There is no plan. I mean, in a way, I think. I've just heard about a serious but rare heart condition called ATTR, cardiac amyloidosis.

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Hey, while we're on creativity and artistic souls, tell me, because I didn't know that much about you and Sandra Seacat. Oh, Sandra Seacat. Yeah, and that intrigues me. Sandra Seacat was my acting teacher who I met at 17. I had started studying when I was a kid, like 11, 12.

at the Lee Strasberg Institute and with a few amazing teachers. And then, you know, by magic, I met Sandra, who was life-changing. Was she known by then? Yeah, she was known by then. And I was doing Blue Velvet. Blue Velvet. And she, thank you. And she was coaching Isabella Rossellini on the film. And she had worked with several other friends there.

And I kept hearing her name on every movie I did. Someone had taken class or was working with her privately on a film. And I studied with her, you know, my whole life until she passed very recently, which was a heartbreak. But it's like she gave us all a million years to grow into with her life lessons. And I was just saying one of the most moving things I was with her husband at her home and

I went to light a candle after she passed and I opened a matchbook. And she so believes in using everything, right? As we're talking about, but also honors everything. Huge respect for nature and very conscious of not wasting and protecting the planet in all ways that I know you guys are such leaders in doing. But I went to open a matchbook, matchbox,

to light a candle and all the matches had been used. And so every time she lit a candle, she put it back and she kept these like a little collection and they were so beautifully laid out. Like all of them had, you know, beautiful art on them and places she'd been. So it was like its own memory, but that touched me so much. And it moves me so much people who

collect and protect because of it, you know? Would she go on sets with you or was the work done prior to you showing up? Prior to. And I know some people have coaches that come with them. Sandra and I acted together a couple of times. So that was a great cheat because she was there. Was she a good actress? She was a great actress.

You know, and that's an amazing thing, right? A teacher who's also extraordinary. Which is rare. Rare. And she was an incredible listener. And we did a very, well, I think it's a very funny movie. I've never seen it. But we did a movie called Daddy and Them.

in Little Rock, which you know about. And Sondra plays the mother, the sort of matriarch in it, of the men's family. And my mom is the mother of the daughters of the family, the in-laws. Your mom, meaning Diane, was in it too? Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it was amazing. And Sondra was incredible. She was married to Andy Griffith in the film and John Prine...

Jim Varney, Billy Bob Thornton, and Dwight Yoakam were Sandra's sons. Sandra and Andy's sons. Remarkably good actor, Dwight. I know. So good. He was so great in it. Oh, my God. But Sandra was like running circles around everybody because...

everything was usable. Like we'd have these dinner table scenes and everything became an opportunity. So that again was like a great lesson to witness her in the space, not just her working with me. But I appreciate you bringing it up because I really never...

talk about acting and we've known each other forever and we never talk about acting. Like, it's so crazy that you would be embarrassed to ask because I've always been raised embarrassed. Also, because my parents are actors, I never wanted to ask them because I felt like it was inappropriate and they weren't really supportive at the beginning because they worried. So, we never talked about acting until mom and I did this, you know, this group of conversations around these walks. Did we ever even talk about it?

not only the craft, but just our experiences on set. And she and I have done movies together and we didn't talk about acting while we were acting. It's sort of, I think it's like, it feels on that narcissism, humility level. You feel shy as an actor to like,

Talk about your craft. It sounds so... But we need to support each other in what we're continuing to discover. And the two of you, this was what was going around in my mind at three in the morning when my sleep gummy kicked in. I was thinking about what creative souls you are, not just actors, but everything you do surprises me with

The ferocity of your artistic souls. You know, Woody, what? You're a poet? Wait, wait a minute. You beat me in arm wrestling, kick my ass in basketball. You're a movie star. And you write plays? And music? And music. Yeah, it's just astounding. And everything you touch, Laura Dern, especially your kids, are magnificent.

I'll tell you a favorite story because I feel the same way about both of you. But recently watching Woody with your godson, who was shy about playing music. And we were with a group of very revered musicians. And it was Woody and a group of us hanging out. It was like, Ellery, you got a guitar? Play us a song.

And he was like, oh my God, you know, all the nerves, like that thing. And he's like, no, you got to share your music. Like that's what it's for.

And you said that or what he did, what he did. And Ellery was like, mom, I would have never done that. That Woody was like, yeah, that's what it's for. That was so huge for me. And he was incredible. He is so good. Incredible. I couldn't believe it. But what was amazing was he shared a song and you were like, okay, another one. Ellery was like, oh my God. But what was amazing too, is then during the day, like he would play a song and then you'd start singing and we'd start singing.

you'd grab a guitar. Everybody started just being at play. And Woody is the king of being at play. And he forces you to join him in every circumstance. That's so nice to say. Thank you. Oh, my God. Okay. I didn't know you were conceived while your parents were filming Wild Angel. And I'm thinking that's perfect because that's the perfect description of Laura. Wild Angel. Wild Angel. Whoa.

I want to call you Wild Angel. Please do. I mean... That would be the most amazing nickname ever. W-A-W. No, I'll just call you Wild. Wild Angel. Yeah. I don't know how you shorten that. That's a lot of... Yeah, Wangel. Oh.

And we've discovered that Woody is a redneck hippie. So the two of you together. I mean, it's a meant to be combo for sure. There were times I thought to myself that she could have been the Laura I ended up with. I know. He got the better Laura. And then I got Laura too. So it worked. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Your mom was wanting you to quit acting and like be a doctor or lawyer.

Yeah. And by the way, maybe you guys have already talked about this, but I would like to ask you this question. So I'll start. Oh, boy. But I, unlike you guys, raised in this business by actor artists, you would think that it was kind of an easy transition. Career easy. Yeah. And it was in that I knew what I wanted to do. I had access to falling in love with it very easily. Yeah.

And I was already here in Los Angeles and sometimes in New York around artistic people. But I had parents going, you do not want to be in this business. Right. Particularly my mom. I mean, my dad was like, sure, maybe at 18, you know, and I was a kid wanting to do it. But my mom was scared because I was a female. Oh, just the rejection of it. Rejection, you know. And at your age, you're co-stars.

Exactly. And crew, you know, like, and you got a teenage kid going off on location with a bunch of guys. And that was she was terrified, rightfully. So I was sent with armed guards. No, not actual ones. Yes, actual ones like goddesses like Laura, you know, like tough, protective mom friends. But still, I think she was worried about.

Being an adolescent and sort of, you know, as you think about middle school girls, transmute that to whether it's an agent or a cameraman, people making comments, body shaming comments, insecurity comments, comments about your face, a critic.

making fun of a trait. And to have, you know, age 11 to 15 in that public forum while you're just trying to figure out who you are and grow self-worth, I think that terrified her. But I'm always amazed. And having this experience with my mom of these conversations that we share in the book is

We shared them because we couldn't believe how we'd never had them. And we hoped that it would encourage other people. Never had the conversation. Never. I'd never asked my own mom that I'm that close to, why did you become an actress from this tiny town in Mississippi? What was your favorite movie? What made you fall in love with acting? Or my mother's greatest heartbreaks of her life we'd never talked about. So...

It was amazing to go down that journey. But I want to ask you guys. Well, hold on before you ask us anything. I got to ask you because I when I I didn't realize I've wanted to do this, but I've never said, Mom, we're going to talk about everything. Yeah, I want to talk about everything, everything, anything we haven't talked about. We're going to anything we haven't brought up anything we're holding on to.

Like to me, that is like a heroic, that's the hero's journey, you know, Joseph Campbell or whatever. Like that is a huge, that must have been so rewarding. And then you have this wonderful book as a result. Well, and, and, you know, we never intended for it to be a book. I just said, I want to archive our conversations because my mom was given this

horrible health diagnosis. And they said, maybe she has three months to live, but get her walking. God, that's horrifying. Horrifying. So all we had was to put literally one foot in front of the other. And as you say, this idea of the hero's journey, we started with a little bit of sharing. And as she got stronger and she was able to walk further, the conversations evolve and go deeper.

And we just said, we're going to walk every morning for the next few months. And every morning, we're going to pick a topic we haven't talked about. And I mean, you know, of course, on the first day, I was like, I feel so vulnerable asking my mom the things we've never covered. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

She's already weak. Can't she walk to the bench or not? Yeah, literally. And she was on oxygen at the time and walking 10 steps was hard. And so I said, oh, maybe we'll talk about like, what's your favorite recipes? What did you love to eat when you were a little girl that grandma made? And I go, mom, you know, what would you like to talk about today? She goes, death. So that's where we started. She went so hardcore and she was irreverent. And she was like, let's get that off the table. Because she was like, Laura, you know,

You don't talk about being born and that happened. She was like, I can bet your bottom boot. Diane's going to happen too. So we might as well talk about it. Talk about why you're afraid of losing me. I want to talk about what scares me. Let's just talk about it. What a blessing. It was incredible. But what we did talk about, you know, to your point about talking to your own mom, is we went there with all the unfinished business and we didn't end with some...

a performative, soft, warm, and cozy result. We opened some wounds that now, you know, will never be fixed. I brought up the thing that pissed me off the most that she did, which was- Haircut? Yeah. I just read that last night. What was it? Ben and I were out of town, Ellery's dad, and he was three and he had beautiful long hair, just letting it grow. And

very comfortable in his own skin. And while we were out of town and mom was- And gorgeous. And gorgeous. Mom was taking care of him and took him to get his haircut. Kind of bribing him. Like a boy, like a boy's haircut, right? So it brought up gender and old fashioned models and everything. So I went insane and I brought it up. She was like, yeah, I'm still hurt.

That you and Ben were so upset. And you got so angry. I mean, all I was trying to do and I was like, and the more we talked about it, the angrier I got and the fight got bigger. And now we're doing press about the book and the fight's even bigger. So what's amazing is it's about having the courage to have the conversations. It's about speaking what has been unsaid.

It's about listening to each other. It's not about agreeing. It's not even about forgiving because maybe in your family, it's the hope isn't even forgiveness. Maybe the wounds are too great, but hearing each other, especially at such a radically divisive time in this country where families can't get together for Thanksgiving, they won't speak because of political, radical different opinions, it's

but to listen to each other, to listen to another point of view and have heard each other's experience. And certainly the biggest healing for mom and I was talking about being working mothers. And I confronted my mom saying,

about how lonely I felt when she would leave. And she had no choice and she loved her work. And you made very little money as an actor and specifically an actress in my mom's generation early on. And we were living in a small apartment. I mean, she had to do her job whenever she had the chance, but it still hurt. And as a kid, I never wanted her to feel bad. I didn't think I had room to share my experience.

But I did hear, and the minute I said, I just got to let you know, it hurt. She was like, what are you talking about? Are you kidding? You met incredible people because of my career, and you got to travel the world. And when I would leave, you were so happy I was gone. You got to be with your grandma who would spoil you. I'm like, mom, you're not hearing me. You're justifying the leaving.

instead of hearing how hard it was. And she was like, you're right, Laura. Oh my God, I love hearing your point of view. We had this beautiful walk and talk. And then I went home and

And Jaya was like, oh, mom, tomorrow night's the rehearsal for the play and parents can come. And I was like, oh, babe, I'm leaving to start the movie. She was crushed. She was like, mom, you can't leave. I was like, you're going to be so happy I'm gone. Are you kidding me? And I stopped myself in the middle of it. I was like, oh, my God, Jaya, I'm my mother. I'm so sorry. Yeah.

What does that feel like? And so by our honest conversations, it has really shifted my relationship with the kids. It has a generational effect. Yeah. Multi-generation. By the way, now that you've opened up your mom's dialect, which that's a dead-on Diane impersonation. Can I ask you to tell a story? And you can say no, and we can edit this like crazy, but you being prepped to go out as a

A young woman and your co-star had a reputation, and she wanted to make sure you were prepared. Is that an okay story to ask? Yeah, but I don't remember. What was the— Well, you— You have to do Diane. Okay. I can't do her. Diane has also played Ted's mom before. But she was basically saying, now you need to have protection, and you need to do this. Tell that story. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

So my mom, so I'm going off to do a movie and I'm 16, I think. And the actor also, you know, basically my age, but with a reputation already as a young, gorgeous young movie star kid was on that movie. So I'm packing up to get ready and my mom brings me like a Samsonite makeup case.

And I was like, oh, my God, that's so sweet for my toiletries or something. And I open it up and it's full of contraception, like rubbers, like every rubber, every, you know, like anything you can imagine for protection. I was like, mom, I'm not having sex yet. Like, what are you talking about? She's like, well, you never know. You got to be protected. You know, you must be protected.

And love's a lovely, wonderful. Yeah, love is incredible. And you want to find somebody and you want to connect. And, you know, you want to share each other's souls and bodies. And it's going to be incredible. And I want you to feel safe and protected and find love that's right for you. And I was like, oh, my God, Mom, that's so progressive and awesome. So I call her halfway through the movie and I'm like, we really like each other.

And she goes, you're not going to do it. And I said, well, I'm not saying we've done anything yet. I'm just telling you I like him. But what are you talking about? You've sent me with a suitcase full of birth control. She goes, exactly. But not so you would use it.

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I was astounded because I'm always, you know, late to the party, but they love it. Elevate your closet with Quince. Go to quince.com slash Ted and Woody for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Ted and Woody to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Ted and Woody. What do you think is the biggest benefit of

not the money, da-da-da, of celebrity for you? What have you been able to use your celebrity to do that you want to do in life? I know Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson. I hear you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Hey, that's no small thing. Right? Hey, guys. But I do actually, if you think about the community of friends that we have been able to collect because of this job is unbelievable.

deep friendships, but also artists that inspire us every day, the way they live, the things they love. I mean, that's been incredible. Incredible. I guess I was...

Heading towards all of the things that you do for other people and you raise money and you bring attention to causes and things like that. You really make use of your celebrity in such a responsible way. Well, I'm speaking to the people I learned that from. And I'm not saying that because I happen to be here on a podcast with you two.

literally you guys are the leaders in teaching me that. You know, she's always the boomerang. Like if you play her a compliment, she just shoots it right back. But I mean, people are like your work for Oceana. I'm like my work for Oceana. I just learned about Oceana because of Ted Danson. You helped us raise a million dollars in one night. Thank you very much.

But anyway, it is cheap what she does. This is a cheap trick, the boomerang thing. It's lazy. It's lazy on your part. How many questions can I ask them so I don't have to? We're such suckers. You know, like of the things that I learned, I didn't know that when you were 15, you were Miss Golden Globe at 15. Yes, I was. What does that entail?

I mean, they've done it forever, which is that they choose a young actor to help, I think, give out the awards. And at the time, they did a newcomer prize, like for a best new actor. And so you got to give that to another young actor. Who'd you give it to? Timothy Hutton for Ordinary People. Oh, yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. I think I was like 14 or something. And it was, you know, it was beautiful and cool and weird and...

So different, right? You got to hang out with all those wonderful journalists. Oh, it was amazing. But also I'm thinking about just the Golden Globe Awards or the Oscars as a kid in the 80s. And even in the 90s when we first went to award shows, like I drove up with my grandma and her Toyota Corolla and was dropped off and like went into the bathroom to like put a dress on. And now it's like...

the cars and the stylists and the things and makeup and hair teams. Like, there was none of that. None of that. Mary won an Oscar early on in her career and they sent nothing. Nothing. Same. You're right. Volkswagen dropped her off kind of feeling. Yeah. Same. You know, and mom and I did this film Rambling Rose and we were both nominated and my mom was like, they said, if we want people to see the movie, we've got to pay to have their VHS tapes sent to their houses. I'm like, us? What?

That was it. So that was in 92. Yeah. Right. Because I didn't know. So it's the first time in history mother daughter nominated from the same movie. Yeah. And also that it's another historical thing. You were the first to lose.

Both of you lost. Yes. Good point. That's an excellent point. Thanks, Woody. Oh, my God, Woody. That is so great for us to always know. So you're not hot stuff. I'm always looking for a joke. I apologize. But it was really cool. I'm going to call my mom when I'm done with this and tell her, can you believe it? We're the first mother-daughter ever to lose Oscars.

You went to UCLA, right? You're there for two days and then boom, you're off to do Blue Velvet at 18, right? Yeah. Did you know that story? Well, I don't really know the story. Okay, I'm going to try to tell it really quick. No, no. I was 17. Do not ask for whom the bell tolls. It doesn't toll for you. Okay, thanks. Yeah. I was 17. You know this story, right? I think. Give me. I was 17, so excited to get into UCLA. Yeah.

was there for two days and got... I had auditioned and got offered the role in Blue Velvet. I was, you know, ecstatic. I worshipped David Lynch as, you know, people really were from Elephant Man, Eraserhead, which he had made at this point. And...

I went to the head of my department, which was psychology, and said, you know, can I take a leave of absence? Absolutely not. I was minoring in journalism. Can I go? I will write papers. I'll come back and, you know, double up classes. Absolutely not. You can't take a leave. You can't take a leave for any reason at that time. So then I went to, at the time, who's no longer there, the head of the film department at that time, and I said...

I have this opportunity. And he said, well, I'll look at the script if you want to give me the script. But, you know, you're not going to get a leave of absence. It's not going to happen. It's not a medical emergency, etc. So, and I said, I'll hire a tutor. I'll do classes. I can mail back. I mean, we didn't have the internet in the way we do now. So it was hard to do stuff online or anything. But he called me back in his office the next day and said,

First of all, if you make this choice, you are no longer welcome at UCLA. You'll be out. But secondly, having read this script, that you would give up your college education for this. He's insane. And obviously, it was an incredibly shocking script. But I will just end by saying, after my two days, today, if you want to get a master's in film at that school,

When you write a thesis, there are three movies you are required to study. No. You know what one of them is. But by the way, but that wasn't him who decided that that would be one of the movies. That was probably someone else. Oh, no. Just, yeah, time will tell. Do you think that guy ultimately said, well, I guess I could have been wrong on this one?

Probably not. Probably not. But one of my favorite stories about Roger Ebert was that Roger Ebert reviewed Blue Velvet at the Telluride Film Festival. And a decade later, he did sort of his favorite, I think, 10 films of the decade.

And he wrote this like apology review. Oh, he gave it a thumbs down? Well done. Yeah, he said it haunted him. It troubled him. All the things that it had brought up in him in the first hour that he saw it. And now he said this is the most important film of cinema of the decade. How could you be that good at like 17 turning 18 and you were that good?

Good. You were astounding. I remember you just came in like a lightning bolt. I needed to be Woodrow only a few years later. And then I started having a party. I loved it, but I have to say, I didn't find it that fun as a teenager. It felt heavy and scary and vulnerable. I mean, just acting and obviously films like Blue Velvet and Smooth Talk. There are tough roles.

But, you know, what's fun is when we all find each other and we're in the joy of it. And when that kicks in, oh, it's bliss, you know. Now I'm in the bliss. Didn't Isabella, weren't they married for a while, David Lynch? Together, a couple. Together. Yeah, for like four years after the film. And Kyle and I met. Oh, that's right. Yeah, and dated too. So we were like double couples after that movie for a while.

Very sweet. And can I just say one more thing? I know she's got to go and everything at the time, time, time, time, time. Listen, guys, I'm very busy. I'm never anything but late. I'm always on the... It just seems like...

I don't know why time is always fucking me. I've got to go to a rock show that you should be going with me to. Oh, right. I was going to go. Big Little Lies. I love that show. It is so genius. I mean, I think whoever's listening would be pissed if we didn't bring this up. So tell me about just how you first engaged with it and how that all came about and how

I had the privilege of knowing and working with Jean-Marc Vallée, who passed away last year, but was an incredible filmmaker. And we toasted him together at our dinner. But Jean-Marc directed the film Wild about Cheryl Strayed's life and hike of the PCT with Reese Witherspoon. Yeah.

And I had the amazing experience of working on that. And so then Big Little Lies was right after with Reese and same producers, Reese being one of them and Sean Mark directing. And so they asked me to join this insane group of women.

And then, you know, second season was, it was the same group, but then they added this woman, Meryl. Meryl something. Meryl something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She wasn't bad. She wasn't bad at all, actually. She was a lot of fun. But like, what? Meryl Streep?

It was incredible. And they're, I mean, some of them were my dearest friends before, and now we're all truly family. And it was amazing. And I loved that character. You're mentioning a lot of big, famous actresses. You are my favorite kind of actor. Your ambition, your talent, your whatever takes a backseat.

to the character. I never am aware of you being good, you know, or watch this. This is going to be one of my best performances kind of thing, which you do see in all of us sometimes. Yeah. That's very beautiful. You're really great. Really a great actor. You are great. You are phenomenal. Thanks, guys. You are phenomenal. And as a human, I knew you were a boomerang. Boomerang. Oh, yeah.

Boomerang the wild angel boomeranger. It's very lazy boomeranging. It's lazy. There should be a sign up on the door, no boomeranging. Please don't do a wild angel. But the thing about you, Laura, and this is within working with you, but also outside of working with you, is you always lift people up. And if I have a thing that I consider a legitimate thing that I'm upset about, somehow I can talk with you and you just instantly figure out a way to make it like,

It's like that saying of inside the worst hardship you can find opportunity, kind of a Tao Te Ching type of thing.

I'm not saying it right, obviously. No, no, you got it. I think Lao Tzu said it better. Anyway, you're like that. You can take anything that's like a mishap or something that's not good and you're like the way you see things. Your view of the world. I don't know. You're always uplifting and hopeful and

You just make me happy, I must say. You make me happy. Both of you, I'm so happy to be with you guys. I mean, it's like double bliss. Boomerang. It's true. But, you know, before we leave each other too, I do, and I don't intend it to be a boomerang, but I do want to say that

I'm really grateful that you guys are creating space for us to connect and talk about things we've never talked about together, but also to remind each other of the larger work at hand for this planet and for each other while using opportunities to have a microphone. So I'm super grateful that I learn from you guys every day about how to do it. And I mean, literally from...

Laura and Woody teaching me literally how to stir my honey and what to not eat and an easier way to compost and how we can care for this planet and how much we have to discover in our oceans, how little we've discovered in terms of how we can save ourselves between soil and ocean. We'll get around to talking planet stuff one of these days and maybe you'd come back. Yes, let me.

Thank you, Laura Dern. We both adore you and appreciate you spending this time with us. After you listen to this, please may I make a suggestion? Do yourself a huge favor and get Laura's book with Diane Ladd. The title is Honey Baby Mine, A Mother and Daughter Talk Life, Death, Love, and Banana Pudding. It's a beautiful read.

That's it for this week's show. A special thanks to my friend Woody and our friends at Team Coco. Tell a friend if you like the show and, you know, give us a good rating and review on Apple Podcasts if you like. That stuff actually works. So, we'll see you next time where everybody knows your name. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes.

Special thanks to Willie Mavry.

We'll have more for you next time, where everybody knows your name.

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