Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 4 - The Science of Storytelling for Trauma Recovery
29:56 Share

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast. Welcome to the wide open heart of Nevada, a place that's anything but ordinary and where anything goes. Backcountry hikes without a city in sight, dark skies bursting with cosmic light, 60 million acres of public lands, forest valleys and desert sands. There's more to discover if you feel like escaping. So buckle down, strap in. The Silver State is waiting.

Go on, get a little out there. Start planning your trip at TravelNevada.com. When it comes to Mother's Day, at Ritual, we believe in giving her flowers. But are flowers what she actually wants?

We asked around, and flowers are fine, but most women would prefer science-backed gut support that never wilts. While we're at it, throw in stress relief, our chill pill designed with clinically studied forms of ingredients to reduce daily stress. Did we mention that all of our supplements are clean, vegan, and third-party tested for heavy metals and microbes?

Because if you ask us, the thought counts, but traceable science and sourcing count more. Find your ritual. Get what you really want this year, whether you're a mom or not, with 40% off your first month at ritual.com slash podcast. That's R-I-T-U-A-L dot com slash podcast for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley Season 1. Every time I hear about my dad, it's, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between Jeremy Scott and the son he'd never known. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Bettering your business takes working with the best. With the James Hardy Alliance, you gain access to leads, training, networking, and support from the number one brand of siding in North America. Achieve new levels of success by joining the James Hardy Alliance today.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is a special bonus episode of Betrayal. Our team loves to dive into the science and psychology behind betrayal and the trauma it can cause. We often talk about the power of storytelling as a tool for healing. So we got curious about how the science of storytelling really functions in trauma recovery.

That's how we found applied neuroscientist and clinical psychologist Dr. Kate Truitt. An applied neuroscientist straddles the line between what's going on in the labs, what I call the ivory tower of the educational space, and the clinical realm. I view myself as a translator of the brain.

to best help people connect with what's happening in their mind-body system. I specifically focus on the brain areas tied into both trauma and empowerment. Dr. Truitt also has her own clinical practice in Los Angeles, where she sees clients who've experienced trauma.

The through line, though, and what really, really lights me up is helping people disseminate the impact of trauma and better understand the weird, painful experiences that happen in our mind-body system when we've been deeply harmed. She's very open about her own lived experiences and how they impact her work. I'm also a survivor. I am a survivor of traumatic grief. I was widowed a week before my wedding.

And I'm harnessing my own vulnerability and knowledge of neuroscience to shine the light on how change and healing is possible. I wanted to start by asking Dr. Truitt what trauma really is in a clinical sense. For instance, what makes something a traumatic experience to our brains?

When I look at trauma through the lens of neurobiology, I like to distill it down to the concept of threat, safety, or lack of safety. Because we can experience something that feels threatening, such as getting on a roller coaster and plummeting at the earth at a very, very high rate of speed, but also knowing that supposedly if the engineers did their job, we're okay, so therefore we're safe.

If that's the case and we like roller coasters, then it's not traumatic. On the other hand, somebody who gets into the same roller coaster, maybe totally safe, hates roller coasters but is forced to get on that roller coaster and ride the roller coaster, that could be very traumatic because there's no choice. So threat in of itself is a critical through line of what makes something traumatic. It could be threat to life or perceived threat to belonging, lovability.

Threat to one's ability to make choice in their life, to have agency or threat to the baseline safety. There's one part of our brain responsible for processing safety. It's the amygdala. Dr. Truitt actually personifies the amygdala. She affectionately calls her Amy. By making the amygdala into a character, that can help us see its reaction as separate from who we fundamentally are. Our little friend Amy the amygdala, who...

That's why I do call her Amy the amygdala. The amygdala is a part of our brain whose primary job is to keep us alive. And when we feel threatened, she's assessing in our brain these core values of, "Am I safe? Am I lovable or do I belong? And can I create change or what I call be successful in my life?" And if there's a direct threat to any of those values, then there's the possibility of something being encoded in our brain as traumatic.

Sometimes the amygdala struggles to determine the size of a risk, and it can be activated in all kinds of situations. Now, there's this concept in society on social media in the clinical realm of big T versus small T trauma. Big T trauma being something that we just lived through here in Los Angeles, these fires.

or any natural disaster or a direct assault or something that is very clear that if you told another human this happened, societally that other person would say, "Yeah, that's definitely traumatic." Small T trauma are often just as impactful

But they're missed in the trauma dialogue and they create ongoing traumatic stress as well in the system. But there's things that directly threaten those core values in more subtle ways, such as coercive control, feeling assaulted or humiliated or intimidated all of the time in ways that don't leave an actual mark perhaps on the body. Those small two traumas can be just as impactful on how the mind-body system is experiencing and processing data.

Whether it be a big T or a small T trauma, when those experiences happen, it fundamentally changes the way our brain and our body are making sense of the world around us. What the amygdala considers to be a threat changes all the time based on the things we experience. One of my favorite examples of this is if we go back to February of 2020, if somebody sneezed,

then it may have been a simple, "Gazunte! Bless you!" Not an entire fearful mind-body reaction to, "Oh my gosh, is that person sick with a virus that could kill us?" Fast forward to August 2020, a sneeze for many people had a very different connotation. That's a type of neuroplasticity known as stress-induced structural plasticity. Now, sitting here in 2025, a sneeze for many people, once again, is just a sneeze.

That's how our brain is supposed to respond to threats and then also unlearn threats when it's no longer actually threatening to us. Whether we're aware of it or not, our amygdala is always reacting to experiences. Dr. Truitt says that traumas that occur in early childhood, even ones we're too young to remember, can still have a strong impact on the amygdala's sense of safety.

When we're living in a state where there is constant internalization of fear, of trauma, where our brain has learned and started to design itself around traumatic experiences, even if the trauma is no longer happening, the traumatic event might have been, you know, for two years during one's childhood. But if those two years were impactful enough, the brain is still going to be harnessing and utilizing the neural pathways set down during those childhood years.

Regardless of the degrees of trauma we experience, it always takes a toll. Trauma exists on a spectrum, and so do the effects. It's a rewiring of our mind-body system into feeling chronically unsafe. Oftentimes, too, though, it becomes an internalization. It changes how we experience ourselves in the world. We start having negative viewpoints on our capacity, our lovability.

We start feeling as though there's something wrong with us, we're shameful or that we're a chronic failure, we can't make change in our world. Our body may be rewired into a state of chronic stress or vigilance, meaning that all of a sudden our gastrointestinal system simply stops functioning the way it used to, which is a part of a trauma response or we can't sleep very well or feel rested when we're sleeping.

So the impact of whether it be big T or small T trauma happens in many, many layers across the course of our mind-body functioning. It's fascinating to hear her unpack how one event in our lives can impact our brain wiring and how it can also put our body in trauma mode. So without proper intervention, we could stay in that state for the rest of our lives. It can keep us from achieving our goals or experiencing joy.

The really good news about our brain is it's changeable. It's plastic. That's where the buzzy word neuroplasticity comes from. Because of neuroplasticity, we can help the brain carve new neural pathways and strengthen the ones that we want while either desensitizing the ones that we don't want or even helping the brain shift through and release the ones that are anchored in by trauma and creating space for new learnings going forward, a new way of being in the world.

And we can play a very active role in that when we know how. And a lot of Dr. Truitt's work is teaching people how. After we have a traumatic experience, our brain starts to develop a story, a narrative to explain what happened and how it happened. We can become very attached to that story. For example, if your partner has an affair, your brain's initial story might be, I'm not good enough.

But here's the thing. Oftentimes, our brain writes the story while we're in trauma mode. And the first draft is full of self-blame. What that looks like at a neurobiological level is when our little friend Amy the amygdala, when she starts looking at the world through a lens of threat...

She disrupts the story-making parts of our brain, such as our hippocampus, which focuses on memory reconsolidation, our thinking brain, which is our prefrontal cortex, which helps us pay attention to things and make decisions. The amygdala changes the capacity of those other parts of our brain to function in a balanced, resilient manner.

And instead starts pulling all of our other brain parts into a direction of survival mode. Threat-based, looking at the world through those trauma glasses. And when the brain is stuck in that survival mode, seeing through trauma glasses, this is what it can feel like. The world is scary.

Or it could be, I'm a bad person. I make bad things happen. It could be, I am not deserving of love. Whatever the brain has learned is the thing tied into what is painful, scary, or hard. And the amygdala reinforces those types of stories over and over and over again.

The more those stories get to exist within our neurobiology, the stronger they become, which means they can start to feel like truth. So the impact is pretty profound and the stories are still going to be happening. It's just that the stories are being written by a very unkind narrator. Part of Dr. Truitt's approach is understanding the amygdala's response and even empathizing with it because its biological intention is to keep us safe.

That's the irony about Amy the amygdala. She can be very disruptive in how she guides our brain in order to keep us alive, but fundamentally she does really have our back, and that's the opportunity in the neurobiological healing work and integrating that with meaning making and simply storytelling. We are wired to make stories, but we're also allowed to revise the story our brain writes.

There's a lot of very effective different types of intervention for trauma because as humans, we're narrative creatures. And until we can support the system in changing the narrative, the meaning making of what has happened, the system can continue to be paralyzed or run by the pain of the past. And we're always going to be leaning into the meaning making system.

which is fundamentally the story that our brain has around what happened and identifying new opportunities for finding escape from what feels inescapable. After the break, Dr. Truitt delves into specifics about storytelling as a tool for trauma recovery.

Time for a sofa upgrade? Introducing Anabay sofas, where designer style meets budget-friendly prices. Anabay brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anabay is the only machine washable sofa

inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquids simply slide right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus,

Our pet-friendly, stain-resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit WashableSofas.com to upgrade your living space today. Sofas start at just $699 with no risk returns and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Get up to 60% off, plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now at WashableSofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. Go on!

Get a little out there into the big hearted heart of Nevada. Nevada is yours to explore with 10 iconic road trips full of uncommon curiosities and delightful contradictions.

Engines roaring, hearts and mountain bluebirds soaring. Nevada is everything but boring. It's full of wide open wonder. In fact, there are 60 million acres of public space to explore and adventure. This is the place to discover something strange, to feel intrigued, and to feel alive, and to leave better for it. Nevada's heart is historic, and here and now, down to earth and out of this world, neon-lit and starlit too.

Nevada is a place where you can be you or explore a new side of you and do the things you never thought you'd do. Find unexplained art. Have a pecan punch to fill your heart. Go on. Get a little out there. Start planning your trip at TravelNevada.com. At Ritual, Mother's Day is kind of a big deal, and we're celebrating accordingly. Find your ritual. If mom needs a bit of stress relief, digestive support,

or is looking to support glowy, smooth skin. Do it today with 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com slash podcast. That's R-I-T-U-A-L dot com slash podcast for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. In honor of Military Appreciation Month, Verizon thought of a lot of different ways we could show our appreciation, like rolling out the red carpet.

Giving you your own personal marching band. Or throwing a bumping shindig. At Verizon, we're doing all that in the form of special military offers. That's why this month only, we're giving military and veteran families a $200 Verizon gift card and a phone on us with a select trade-in and a new line on select unlimited plans. Think of it as our way of flying a squadron of jets overhead while launching fireworks. Now that's what we call a celebration. Because we're proud to serve you. Visit your local Verizon store to learn more.

We're talking with Dr. Kate Truitt, who's an applied neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and educator.

Dr. Truitt says that when it comes to identifying the stories your brain has written about trauma, you can take the first step on your own. Journaling is proven scientifically to be an incredible way to help integrate our story. Putting something on paper is a way of honoring your own story and your own truth. Sharing our journaling, sharing our story in a healthy way also can be incredibly healing.

It can also be very vulnerable to journal. We can be tapping into sensory data that's tied into our traumatic experiences. Sharing our story can be incredibly vulnerable. And our amygdala may have fears around being rejected or feeling even more isolated after sharing. But working through that fear and vulnerability is part of the process. Dr. Truitt helps her clients develop tools for navigating the difficult feelings that come up when they're telling their story.

The main focus that I always recommend to my clients, friends, colleagues, anybody when we're doing this type of work independently is to also have a toolkit of self-regulation tools next to us in case we tap into something that carries a lot of emotional weight as we're journaling.

And so if we have our self-regulation tools on hand as we're journaling or writing or sharing our story, we can actually proactively heal any of those reactive responses that are coming up. And one of my favorite tools for this is an exercise I created a long time ago called Creating Personal Resilience for the Amygdala, CPR for the Amygdala.

As we're doing our narrative work, as we're journaling, if we're noticing our amygdala starting to get reactive, it's just time to push pause and take a breath and utilize something known as mindful touch in order to downregulate the brain. Mindful touch is a meditation practice of clearing your mind, bringing your awareness to your body, and gently running your hands together or running your hands over your arms like a hug.

It's a way to ground yourself and help calm down your amygdala. It seems simple, but this practice can build a sense of safety around traumatic memories. It's a way of saying this happened rather than holding it inside, of acknowledging the pains of the past and starting to create a new way forward, imagining different outcomes, creating a way that you would like to respond or react to something.

we can help this system find ways to re-narrate and free our brain of being stuck, locked into what happened and know that, hey, we're not there anymore. Another important step in this process is detaching from labels. A tool or exercise I do with my clients quite a bit is to have them notice the difference between the statement, "I am an anxious person" versus "I am experiencing anxiety."

As humans, we tend to label ourselves. And when we give ourselves big emotional labels, it's hard for our mind and our body system to dig ourselves out of that label. I am bad. I am depressed. I am unlovable. I am unworthy. I am powerless. Our brain buys into that as a self-identifying component of self.

As opposed to saying, I'm feeling powerless in this moment, which then creates space for the brain and the body to go, oh, I can do something to feel more powerful right now. What might that be? Oh, I can control my breath. Oh, I have control over that.

Or I am experiencing anxiety, which creates the opportunity to zoom out a little bit and say, why am I feeling anxious? Which immediately starts the positive neuroplastic experience of being curious, which gives us dopamine and opens up our visual sphere, both internally and externally, to seeing a larger picture around us. And the value in that is positive.

There's space for curiosity and even possibly beginning to move into a state of self-compassion and deeper self-awareness and self-acceptance, which fundamentally is a critical part of healing through trauma. Certain labels have more power than others, like the label of victim. It's a word that comes up a lot in our interviews. It's a polarizing and emotionally charged label. Some people adopt it. Others reject it.

A common label that I hear is the idea of I am a victim or the polarizing opposite. I'm not a victim. And I can see a lot of damage potentially being done on either side of the aisle. If we are a victim and that is the label that we're putting on our mind-body system, it can feel what we call in psychological terms very much of having an external locus of control. Things happen to me. I am powerless and I cannot create change in my world.

And for the amygdala's core values, you can possibly tune in there that Amy's going to hate that. And when she really feels powerless or weak, she's going to create a way of interacting with that statement for the good, the bad, or the ugly, but however it shows up for her to keep us safe. Oftentimes that can mean isolating or creating ways of being in interpersonal relationships that are not preferable or are unhealthy for us.

The flip side of I am not a victim, again, great if you're not a victim, that's fine. But if that's a trauma reaction, it can bypass the reality of things happen out of control. Scary and difficult, painful things did happen. And the mind-body system wasn't in control in those moments.

And so the label of victim and of itself becomes self-identifying and either side of the aisle, I don't believe it's supportive or helpful for my clients or anybody in the world to have an I am statement in one direction or the other. When we look at the term of victim, it means something has happened that was really bad. And it's a concept. It's not a label. It's not a self-identification.

Still, having a word for that experience and the changes it caused can be a way to acknowledge that it happened. In the field of survivalship, when working with trauma survivors, we've taken victim off the table. Because when we're a survivor, it's giving an acknowledgement to that something did happen. So yes, there was a moment where I was a victim of something really bad happening.

And I'm standing here right now. I made it through. I have survived. And therefore, there's space to look at what happened and to build through survivalship into resilience and empowerment. A major barrier to building resilience and empowerment is shame. Dr. Truitt explains where shame comes from and why we hold on to it so tightly. Ah, shame, shame, shame, shame.

Our brain can be a shame junkie. And shame is fundamentally a feeling of being flooded with a lack of self-worth, feeling completely and utterly like somebody is bad. They're broken at their core and they are bad. And the interesting thing about shame is our little friend Amy the amygdala loves it.

Because when she's feeling shame, she's like, there is something clearly not okay here. And she gets to make up even more stories about how we are bad. Believing that she's keeping us safe. She really does have her best interests at heart. But feeling shame or feeling bad or broken for Amy the amygdala actually gives her power. It helps her feel like she has agency and choice. I know it's weird. And it's real.

Shame is baked into our brains' normal functioning, and it's something we have to learn to work with. The problem is hindsight's 20-20.

And so we can look back and see every flag that was missed and hold ourselves accountable for it. And when I say hold ourselves accountable for it, of course, it's not us. It's our little friend, Amy, the amygdala, spinning up a narrative of saying, see, you missed that. That's your fault. That's your fault. That's your fault. That's your fault. You missed that too. Aren't you so bad? How did you fail on that account? What's wrong with you? So on and so forth. Again, all as a way to create internally information.

a sense of safety. Because when we're so flagellating, when we're beating ourselves up and holding ourselves responsible for things that we could not control, did not know about, did not see, our amygdala is saying, remember it. Remember it because you don't want this to happen again. And so this is her way of being a looky-loo when there's a car accident on the freeway.

People slow down, yes, perhaps for the safety of the passengers in the car accident, but also people look because the brain's going, I need to learn something over there. Our amygdala's version of doing that with shame and trauma is to do a hindsight review and have 20-20 vision about every single thing we missed and hold us accountable for it so we don't get into danger in the future.

As we often hear on our show, healing from trauma isn't linear. And healing doesn't always bring back the person you were before. That's one of the hardest parts. So we asked Dr. Truitt what healing looks like when she's working with clients. One of the interesting things that happens with my clients when we, not everybody, but a lot of them when we begin the work is ask them, what is their goal? And they say, I just want to be happy. The problem is, is our brain is not designed to be happy all the time.

In fact, our brain would burn out neurochemically if we were. Our brain and our body are designed to flow and ebb and navigate through all types of feelings and emotions on a daily basis. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the calm and the neutral. And all of those feelings become flags for helping us better understand what's happening in the world around us. The beautiful part of being in the work and doing the work is

is that those red flag moments no longer spiral us into shame. If shame comes up, we can go, "Oh, that's also an interesting data point. Why is a part of me now feeling bad again? What's happening?" And we can get curious. Or in the aftermath of a red flag moment, if we've really leaned into neuroplasticity and helped our system come home to self with loving care,

We can give ourselves an internal hug or even an external hug, you know, wrap our arms around ourselves and go, there, there, girl. It's okay. What's going on? And have that compassionate loving response that for so many of us, we may never have ever had to begin with. Instead of making happiness a marker of healing, a more realistic approach is to build self-compassion. Self-compassion is a skill. We're not born to be compassionate towards ourselves.

We are born to be compassionate towards other beings, animals, living things, even inanimate objects, because we need other entities for survival. But frankly, to survive, we don't have to be nice to ourselves. So that's a skill that we get to learn. And that's a really critical part of the trauma healing journey is learning how to hold the space for ourselves that we neurobiologically freely give to everybody else.

This is the work she's actively doing with her clients. But Dr. Truitt acknowledges that therapy isn't always accessible. That's why she's committed to online education and sharing free resources. So therapy is a privilege, and I'm very aware that not everybody has access to it. I also know that mental health and wellness is a human right.

So we dedicated an extensive amount of time to providing resources and tools that are neurobiologically based to help people heal the experiences of their past. Finding ways to show up in the present moment and do proactive healing in the here and now while building the neural pathways they want for their future. Because we honestly can partner with our own brains to create incredible change.

And on our YouTube channel, it's Dr. Kate Truitt, which is a Google Health channel. It's approved by NIH and IMH as well as World Health Organization as an educational resource. We provide therapeutic tools, guides, information, as well as guided meditations and all sorts of ways to support people in safely moving into their own healing journey.

Along those same lines, I have two books that I've written. The first one is called Healing in Your Hands, which the title leans into exactly everything we're talking about. It's a full healing experience for going on a guided relationship with oneself and

and navigating how our life experiences have shifted and changed the way we experience the world around us, while providing actionable tools and resources for curating and creating change. Her most recent book is a memoir, where she uses her own story as a lesson in trauma recovery.

My memoir, which is called Keep Breathing, really goes into a deep dive. And I used myself as a case study, which was quite terrifying, to be honest, to unpack the complexities of having PTSD. In writing her memoir, she experienced firsthand how healing it can be to tell your story.

And it's a story she hopes other people can learn from. It was really one of the hardest choices I've made in my life to put that book into the world, partially because as psychologists, there's an old idea that we're supposed to be blank slates. But fundamentally, what I realize is there's a lot of people who are just like me, who are struggling, who could possibly benefit from the information. And it was so healing to even write my own story. It took five years.

And to have the space to share my story and to have my story be held by others and reflected. So it's an incredible, incredible, powerful testimony to the power of narrative work and how when our story is held by others, that in of itself is really, really healing.

Thank you for listening. And a special thanks to Dr. Kate Truitt for sharing her expertise with us. In the spirit of storytelling for trauma healing, we're going to spend the next two weeks sharing listener essay submissions. The theme was resilience and recovery after a devastating betrayal. We received so many incredible submissions and we're excited to share them with you. So stay tuned and we'll be back next week.

If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at BetrayalPod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal, P-O-D, at gmail.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners.

Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are Kristen Malkuri and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt DelVecchio.

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.