Bringing Back Early 2000's Gay with Trixie and Katya
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We should do like a 2000s gay podcast where we're like, pussy gross. Do you know how that was like the whole thing? Oh, we call it gold star gay. Yeah, the whole thing was that you were gay and that you were like, I love to touch your titties. I love titties. But then they'd be like, pussy gross. Disgusting. Ew, fishy smell. Pee-yew. No, I don't like to eat fish. Okay. Yeah, like I don't know what that was. I'm going to snap your whale tail.

I'm going to snap your whale tail. Your whale tail. I'm going to snap it like a slingshot and say, gross pussy. Let me feel on your titties. Oh my God, your pussy. Well, look,

Listen, you have a pussy and you don't have a cock. So I'm gay and I'm not going to fuck your pussy because that's gross. Unless Diva, you need help with your hair and makeup. We're going out tonight, girl. What is that? A size four? You wish, bitch. You look like a whale. Like, I don't know why that like era of gay was like very mean.

It was despicable. It's despicable. It's really crazy. Oh, you fat cunt. Yeah, you're looking a little big. What is that? But turn around. Let me look at those titties. Those huge, gorgeous tits. And even like, you know, I love Will and Grace and I'm rewatching from the beginning. And this has nothing to do with that. Fat jokes. The number of fat jokes about Will. It's so great. It's so funny. Well,

I guess it's- Is it funny because he's not fat? It's funny because Jack is so superficial that he thinks a completely normal body is fat. Oh, okay. Because Jack the character is constantly like in the gym or like on a diet. And trying to be skinny? That's so funny to me. No, this is New York in the 90s. So it was like, I think it was like muscles. Oh, okay.

That's why everyone's in like a tight ribbed v-neck sweater. Oh my God. The early 2000s is fucking rotten. And this is not part of that. I'm thinking of, I don't even want to say what it is, but a lot of other gay representation was like, you know, like, honey, if we're going to be best friends, we have to get your highlights. Like I don't, and it wasn't about the gayness, but the gayness attached to the meanness attached to being disgusted by like,

Ew, puffy. What is that? I'm curious about this. I'm lucky that I haven't had to evolve on it. It's always seemed bizarre from the beginning. What is this gold star gay? I don't know. Gold star gay. I have had no physical dealings with a female. I'm not even my mother. It's so crazy. It's so gross. It's so stupid. How many stars do I get if even gay men won't fuck me? Thank you. Thank you. Although last night.

She and I hung out last night. We did. She and I. You and I. She and I hung out. Hung out last night. My favorite thing about you living by me and having a car is that I get a ride. Yeah. Love. Yeah. Love. I haven't gotten us into an accident. No. No. And you could have. I could have. Should have. We went to Andrew's Cabaret last night at Plaza here in Hollywood. Right here in the heart of Hollywood on La Brea. Which is...

A very fun place to go. It's fabulous. And it's a little. It's giving major Jacques vibes. I almost said it last night. Major. Jacques wishes, by the way. It's a lot. The layout's better than Jacques. The layout's way better. It's more user friendly. The one thing that the Plaza does not have, which they are in desperate need of, is a follow spot.

A follow spot. They almost rent one and just use it that night. Desperate need of a follow spot. Big time. Although it's tough because you need to be on, you need to be propped up a little bit and it's a very low ceiling like jocks, but it's very low ceiling. It's lower than jocks even.

I can almost touch that ceiling. Yeah, you can. Yeah, I think. Jock's is low too though. You're right. It's a very low ceiling. But anyways, they need a follow spot. But yeah, spectacular show. It was so fun. We got to see Macy Rodman perform. We got to see Andrew. Yeah. I feel bad because I didn't catch the name of everybody. Mostly because the host, Andrew, didn't say everyone's name. Right. So I don't totally know who performed. Well, we had Alyssa Lords. Julian, a.k.a. Brock Banks, a.k.a. Alyssa Lords, all the way from the palace in Miami, Florida. Girl, you and I were gooning because she was doing the only. Rachel.

Yeah. Crazy. That type of drag number, it's gone all the way. It's sort of like things are funny on the third time, but it comes back around to 11. It comes all the way back. I've started really enjoying and laughing at, laughing at not, not like bad. No. Those numbers make me laugh. Yeah. Like whip crack drag numbers just like make me laugh. It's, it's crazy. It's almost like it's, it's so it's the discussion about, about, about, about like,

It's so meta. I think our experience is so pulled away so many times, it's hard even to really objectively look at it. It's very funny. Also, Julian Brock does not... We get in drag to look sexy. He doesn't have to get in drag to look sexy. So he is a brave Marine for participating. He's basically...

Like most people that hot, I think would be not trying to do anything to compromise the image of hotness. In a lot of ways, drag is going to shatter that illusion for people. Yeah. And I like that. He's like, yeah, no, I'm really hot, but I also dress like a woman and whip my hair. I love that. Yeah. He's he's very fascinating because he's a.

He is, he do, he used to usually does shave his beard, you know, and when he does shave his beard, he looks very sexy. Very, very female, sexy, very, very woman, sexy. And he's also very sexy out of drag. Obviously he's a porn star. Um,

But yeah, he turns those little palace looks, those little fucking Miami. Yeah. Love the hair, though. He doesn't have a lot of my hair. I do know that. Yeah. I was very inspired by the show because it was apocalypse themed. Well, first it was 420 blazing.

Oh yeah. And then it switched to the apocalypse. Then it switched to the apocalypse. And there was an air horn. Um, there was a, um, there was a red alert. What do you call that? Um, Amber alert. Amber alert. What do you call that on the phone? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I call it. Attention. It is the apocalypse. Yeah. And,

And at first, it's funny because you and I got there as good supporting friends on the dot when the doors opened. And Eden's working the door and we walk in and there's no one in there. And I could tell like just because we're there, Andrew's like –

people come Andrew's like they'll shuffle in and of course I knew they would but when they did come in you could tell Andrew was like a little relieved you know because everybody of course it's all faggots in Hollywood they're going to wait until the last second to walk in there it filled up in the last 10 minutes in the last 10 minutes and also it filled up with a you throw a bag and you just it would just hit someone very gorgeous and sexy it was crazy it's crazy talk about it talk about it would you please would you please expound upon it would you please explain it to the audience would you please tell them

Tell them, please. My eyes are almost bulging out of my head. There's, of course, people are hot when you're like, he's hot. But the beyond version of that. But the beyond version. Hold on. The beyond version of that is when people are so hot that they're just like.

works of art. And they're just, there was a guy at the end of our table. I know he does porn. He was sitting behind us at the end of the table facing us. I know he does porn. Michael Boston or Porphy. The bottoming guy. Michael Boston. They're all bottom. Michael Boston. Yeah. Yeah. In person. I'm just like, my God, you were made for porn. His like full lips, full cheeks, bushy eyebrows, brick jaw. I'm like, you were made for gooning. You were made for

Yeah. And if you weren't going to do porn, you were going to be a very distracting temp at an office. Yes. Because you were just made to be beautiful. I know. It's crazy. I get so excited seeing these porn people in real life because they just are gorgeous. They deliver in person. I'm like drag queens. No, yeah. They deliver. They are DHL. Yeah. You know, last time, I'm just glad Chirac wasn't there because normally when I see Chirac, I'm like, okay.

like turn into like, I don't know, putty. Yeah. Putty with cum on it. Yeah. It's like really gross. And then Pete was sitting next to us and Andrew gets on stage and just telling the story about like, first time I did smoked marijuana, I made Pete smoke it. And Pete's like, woo woo. Yeah. And I really forgot. Oh my God. They know each other from. So long ago. Salt Lake City. High school. High school. That's crazy to me. Also, do you realize that, do you realize the physical difference

Evolution that Miss Andrew has gone through. Do you have any idea about it? She sent me pictures. Do you have any idea about it? Yeah. Body snatchers. Body snatchers. Body snatchers. Yeah. The swan. 2001. A space odyssey. A waif. Yeah. And then it's just crazy to me. I'm not sure that she's the person that everybody thinks she is.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I mean, she could have been three or four different people. We still don't know. She could change again. She's in constant metamorphosis. Constant metamorphosis. There's so many hot people there. It was, it was, I almost have to like, you have to, I have to regroup. I have to just get centered and I have to, I have to touch grass. You have to touch grass. There was somebody there that, you know, that I think is hot. And he was there in person. And I was like,

"Oh my God, he's so beautiful." I was like, "He's so fucking even better in person." But Sony, we know so, and what's weird is that I knew if these guys, I'm like, I would watch porn or have watched porn of all of you. - Yeah. - But then we also know them and they are nice to us. - I know. - It's a really weird thing. - It is so strange. - And it makes me really aware of when you're that hot, it really must affect all of your friendships.

It has to. I don't, yeah. I mean, it's okay. For example, so I share a studio with Andrew. Andrew is really good friends with like the big, a lot of these porn guys. And I am too. I wouldn't call my, I don't hang out with them by myself, but like I'm friendly with them. You're kind of like a third wheel. Yeah. Like a gross, disgusting wheel. Yeah. Like a clinger on her. Yeah.

Like a boot. Like a boot. Like, you know, that they put your boot on the car when you get too many tickets. I'm the boot. There's four wheels and then you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, you know, I'm in the studio one day and I look over and Austin Avery is like bent over with his asshole out. And I had to sit down and I had to like, I had to like count back from 10. I had to do all those like little exercises because I'm like, okay.

Because I could feel myself spiraling out of control, spiraling out of desire's control. Yeah. This is years ago. And it's just a lot to like, it's a lot. To process. It's a lot to process. When they bring, I don't know, what's the, what is the. In movie star world, let's say Pedro Pascal. So beautiful, universally adored. I think even the lesbians want him. Yeah, yeah.

But in his roles, we get to know the character as a person. And we are only allowed to imagine what they look like naked. Right. Versus in porn world. This is the opposite. These are people who are, for all purposes, way hotter than any movie star you know. Yeah. But because we're given the whole shebang up front and the imagination is sort of removed. If these people didn't do porn, the fucking person who blew me away last night was a dentist. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that they...

I haven't seen them naked. There is the mystery that like is somehow, that's why we love celebrities were like shocking their selfie. They were photographed by a Chinese spy balloon in Haiti. Madonna stuns a new selfie. Madonna stuns a new selfie. Yes. Wild girl. Wild. Slither. Slither. Madonna stuns a new selfie. That's a name of a lot of the race song. Madonna slithers a new selfie.

Did you know that there's a bridge under Terabithia? You know that there's a bridge under Terabithia and that Madonna has stunned in a new selfie. But you know what Madonna has? A lust for life. But last night, I don't want to harp on it, but in addition to a fabulous show we were treated to and...

Service that I would... I would say that I love the plaza. I would say that the service is... How long did it take you to get it? It took me 20 minutes to get a bottle of water. And it wasn't a full bar. 20 minutes. Love it. And I go to a lot of shows at plaza. This is Jacques. This is Jacques. We had Rosa...

The waitress, when we used to do Perestroika, one waitress making her way very leisurely. Slowly. Very leisurely, slowly around the crowd. By the way, we make money on alcohol sales. God forbid we sell more alcohol. I know. It's so nuts. Then again, I order water, but this is, you order water for me and I'm going to show you the process of getting someone water. Hi, can I have a water? Oh, thank you. That's it. That's it. I'm not asking for a blended margarita. Right. I'm not asking for flaming shots. You're taking a bottle.

Like it's a bottle of water. Let's try that again. I'm so thirsty. May I have a bottle of water? That's it. That's all there is. Flaming shots. I'm not asking for a shot ski, a blended drink. Right. Can I have a pink squirrel ice cream drink with a. No, it's water. Just a bottle of water. And by the way, it's all porn people.

So everybody's on G. That's what I'm saying. They're all on drugs. Oh, they're not drinking either. Right. It's a little circuit party-ish. Little G. My God. Absolute beauties. I got to meet Vigiletti. Yes. Yeah. Who has remixed Ding Dong. Yeah. And he was so nice. So great. So cool. Perfect skin. Oh my God. The whole time I was looking at him, I kept thinking...

You look good in drag. He does drag. He does. I didn't know that. Oh, he does fierce drag. I was like his big round cheeks. I was like, he would be beautiful in drag. I didn't know that. Oh, I'll show you a picture. He's like so hot in drag. Yeah, gorge. So fierce in drag. And then it was 420 and they handed me free a thing.

And I don't want to be a traitor to my kind because I am new to marijuana. A CBD joint? Cock and ball douchery. What the fuck is a CBD joint? It's cock and bullshit douchery. Cock and bullpucky douchery. It's... It's nothing. CBD is nothing.

It's sucking cock with a condom on. Yes, it is. What are we doing? It's the placebo effect. It's the placebo effect. A CBD joint? Girl, eat my ass. Crawl up into my bedroom at night and eat my ass. We're at a 420 show where there's drag queens with bags of fake marijuana and people dressed as pot leaves dancing and you're going to give me a CBD joint? CBD. CBD. Hemp milk. Hemp milk latte. Am I a Nicki fan? Hemp milk latte. Are you friends with Taylor Swift?

Are you friends with Taylor Swift? Let's take a break. The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. So the show was good. The night before. Wait, the show was good. The night before I got to see Blondie. Oh my God, 80 years old. Yeah, so Blondie, so good. It started with the Greek. Okay. And it was a little triggering.

Because the Greek is where we did the Netflix standout special with all those comics. Oh, my God. The one that ran really long. Let's say there was last minute changes at that show. There was last minute changes at the program that became very stressful to the performers. Yes. And in that show, I'm not going to point names. I'm not going to point fingers and name names. But in a big roster like that, where everyone's required to do a set amount of time, it's

Everybody went over. And everybody complained about going over. And then everyone complained about it running long. But they were going over. When we're a half hour over and all the comics who went in the first half are like, wrap it up. I'm like, you did longer. You all did longer than we were supposed to. Yeah, you did this. This is all your fault. It's your fault. But it was great to be back at the Greek. It's outdoor theater. The air, nice and cold. I'm with Darian. She's in a pink fur coat. I'm in a little, it's nice and cold. Yeah, fabulous.

they played all the hits i wanted to hear maybe i missed a couple that i would love to hear but they i mean it was just beyond they start with one way or another i love when bands have so many hits that they can start with a mega hit it's so exciting it was cool it's like when i saw the b-52s and they started with private idaho and i just started shooting cum like it was so good

So Blondie is the original members are all getting up there in age. The only two original members were the drummer and Debbie Harry and Debbie Harry, Heart of Glass, which is a mega hit. Y'all know Heart of Glass. You know it. Sing it. Exactly. That song hit. It's like she's here. Not because of the singing, because of the age.

Wasn't that good? It was really good. Thank you. Heart of Glass was their first hit. It hit in 1979 when Debbie Harry was already, I believe, 31. Fun fact. So people don't know. She was 31 in 1979. She was 31 in 1979. So that puts her 80-ish. In 2023, how old is Deborah Harry? 80-ish. 80-ish. And I'm only saying that because- In 1979, she was 31. 31.

How old is Debra Harry in 2023? 77. Yeah, 77. 70 fucking seven. Yeah. On stage. Yeah. Real legs out. Well, I'm sure she had tights on, but boot, black boot, black, like stretched black studded romper. Nice little like shape wearing her real hair. I've seen them twice before and both times she wore, I'm just going to say it. A party wig. A blonde party city wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With sunglasses. Huge sunglasses. This time her real...

Her real hair all punked out and the makeup, I believe Miss Guy did it, snatched. Perfect for the giant space. She looked fucking perfect. They sounded so good. The drummers up there in age two throwing sticks in the air and catching them. The visuals were amazing. I ran into an issue, which was two, I'm just going to say it, two faggots. Two faggots, homo men. To the right of me and Darian did not have those seats.

And so, excuse me, what now? Justin Tranter's on one side of them and me and Darren on the other side. And there's two faggots in the middle of our row who just did not have those seats. And I know that because I had those seats. What did you do? What did you do? Well, since it's standing, the whole line is like crammed together extra because these two faggots just did not have seats. Those are not your seats, Mary. Okay.

So Dana and I were just like, so what can you do in that moment? I'm not going to be Karen. I was going to say, is it Karen? Is it Karen? I don't believe that it's Karen. And by the way, we weren't, I don't believe that it's Karen. So it wasn't worth the lying and cheating. We were like in the back. So I'm just like, you don't have a ticket. And now Darian and I are like this close, which is fine. Love Darian. But like,

You shouldn't be here, Mary. So what can you, this is like, I feel like this is something that people, this could be a learning lesson for someone, a teachable moment. Cause this would, this would perturb me to the max if I were you.

And I would not say anything. And I would let it, I would let it, you would leave early. I would leave. I probably leave early anyways, but I would, I would use this as like, Oh, there's my big, there's my dog. There's my dog bone. I'm just going to bite it and then go. Right. Like, this is like a perfect excuse for me to leave. Right. You know, but so what, what would you say? Like, if you were another person, what would you say to that person? What would you say? What would you say?

I could have said, hey, I think I have your seat. What do you mean I have your seat? So I guess I shouldn't have said that. I should have been like, hey, I think you're in my seat. That would have been just the way to do it, I guess. I think you go to, I think you get. You get an usher. You get the government involved. I think you get the government involved. You get the feds up in there. Because they're going to be like, let me see your tickets. I know. And they're going to be like, we don't have any. I know. And then they could get the fuck out of here. And they've known almost the whole concert, which I just think. It's not fair.

Fuck you. First of all, who's watching concert footage back? Number one. Number two. How about the lady recording the- Oh! We have to talk about that. We have to talk about that. Back to Plaza. Back to Plaza. Oh my God. So in addition to, there's people on stage and maybe some people in the audience are taking stories of like, I'm at Plaza watching the show, watching the cabaret. A woman who works there. The waitress. The waitress who could be getting me my water. Yeah, yeah.

She's walking around and I'm just going to do what she's doing. And this is a podcast, so I guess I'll tell you too. But she has the flash on. The flash on. Huge iPhone. It's dark. It's a club. She's walking table to table. Smiling. Everyone's smiling. I'm not kidding. Two feet from them. Two feet from their faces. Table to table. Everyone there. It almost, you know, to me it felt like evidence.

It felt like evidence. Yes, because I'm just going to say at that show, there's performances that maybe I wouldn't want to admit that.

Yeah. I saw because they are a little over the line and wild. Over the line and wild. I think during this time, there might have been a little person doing ISIS wings with a jockstrap on that was barely hanging on to their physicality. Barely hanging on to their physicality, if you know what I mean. Yes. There were cock and balls visible. Yes. It was a little person with ISIS wings and it felt like... Not ISIS like terrorism. No, ISIS like drag ISIS wings. Yeah, yeah.

And we're all loving and living and laughing and loving. But then when I start getting filmed, I start to feel, am I being exploited? Is this blackmail? Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Are they going to make it seem like we forced someone into stripping for us? Like, what is this? I know. It felt like evidence collection. It felt like entrapment. She also had glasses on the bridge of her nose and the flash on. So she's just like. It was so strange. It was so crazy. The waitress. The waitress. She could have been getting that water, that bottled water.

A bottle of water. So going back to the, so kicking those people out of the no ticket having seats in the Greek. You know why he didn't say anything to you? Because you don't want to be a bitch? No, when the music started, he knew every word. And I was like, I'm not going to like ruin. Well, guess what? If you know every word, it's your responsibility to get some fucking tickets to that show.

I don't know. I personally kick them out. Hello. I'd be like, you're not stealing this person's seat. But also they're not. What are they going to do? Sit on somebody? It's seated. Seated theater. That's why I don't fuck around with standing. I do not fuck around with standing. I don't either. And I said to Darian, I said, I hope when they come out, I said, I hope when Blondie starts that everyone doesn't stand up. Everybody stands up. Everybody stands up. But this is what you need to know. This is what you need to know. Everybody stands up. If we sit, we can all see. Exactly. And we can sit. Mary Hogan.

Why don't we sit at concerts? I'm sorry. I don't know. I know it's horrible. And I play rock concerts. I understand it is more exciting for the performers when everyone's standing. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's why I miss Lana Del Rey. This is why I, this is why. See, here's, this is a perfect example of this situation. Perfect example. Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey.

She does the kind of music that would be perfect for a seated theatrical venue of the classiest variety. Name the classiest variety of theater you can. Let's say Wang's in Boston. Exactly. The Wang Center, formerly the Wang Center. I can't remember what it is now. Good old Tremont Street or whatever. Beautiful, gorgeous. Ornate. Ornate. Like absolute Rococo interior. Yeah.

Baroque. And it's just stunning. Boxes, loge, all that crap. Balconies. Sit down in your lovely little gown, your little tuxedo. And you get high on the beach. You get high on the beach. You watch that warbler come out. Warbler. She's in a half-inch mule and her hair is laid and she goes... She's in a linen gown. She's in a linen gown. She's getting suspended from the ceiling. She's getting propped up on a grand piano. And she is just warbling the blues. Seated...

emotional, like a revelation, but her fans standing up, they're so consumed with their, they're standing up no matter what. And they're screaming back every single lyric that she belts out every single fucking lyric. It's absolute horseshit. I would never see her, never see her in concert for this exact reason. Ever, ever, ever. The fans are absolutely garbage. If you Google Lana Del Rey, Brazil,

They're just screaming? Screaming. Every single fucking lyric. Isn't it almost rude to scream over this type of music? Are you kidding? It's incredibly rude. I'm sure that she hates it. I'm sure that she hates it. She can't even hear herself.

Yes, she can. She has ears in. It doesn't matter. They're screaming so loud. They're screaming. They have hacked into her earpiece. The mainframe. Yes. And they're screaming directly into it. Into her earpiece. That would be so crazy to like hack into someone's, because you know, those ears make you basically deaf to only your music. Yeah. It'd be great to hack into that and be like, hi. Hi. Hello. You look insane. Yeah.

Keep trying to dance bitch I would love to do that to Taylor Taylor Swift Yeah Keep walking back and forth On that stage bitch Oh you got to the front Turn around and walk the other way bitch Oh Change tank tops bitch It's fine You didn't need to style your hair Yeah You did not need to style your hair Why start now 20 years into your career Why style the hair now Mmhmm

Yeah, no, it's crazy. But Blondie was good. But Blondie was good. But I wish, I also wish I want to sit and I want to enjoy it. I want to like have my body be like calm so that I can take all my other senses can be enwrapped in the performance. Yeah, I want to be able to sit. I want to be able to sit. I want to be able to hear, see, and become emotional. Yeah. Because you better believe I'm becoming emotional. So the other part of this story is Darian and Peppermint and like people I was with, they all know Debbie. Because a lot of New York people know Debbie. A lot of New York people.

And it was one of those things where they were like, hey, do you want to come to the little hotel after Kiki at Debbie's hotel? Amazing. And I said-

Because I have rehearsal for stagecoach the next morning. I said, I can't. What a great decision you made. I know. I'm very surprised that you did that. But I'm being honest. It's because you didn't want to do drugs. When I like someone that much. Oh, you don't want to sell yet. I'm scared. Okay. I don't want to go through the emotional labor of having to meet someone I love that much. Also, you know what? I'm okay to love someone and let them be. Let them be a fart. I agree. Let them be a fart. No, a far. Oh, a far. Yeah. A far. Let them be a fart. Yeah.

I'm okay to let her be Debbie Harry and me be a fangirl. Yeah. And that distance is okay. Yeah. I feel about that. I feel that about a few people, Dolly. Yeah. You know, like people like that. I feel that way about Bjork. And every time I get a text message from her, it feels like a prank call. I know. You know what I mean? Because you have some famous people pranking you. Not pranking you, but calling you. It's only when it's like out of left field and someone's really famous. And it's always like a random text. And I'm like.

It feels like pranky. It feels like... Is this real? It feels pranky. Yeah. It feels pranky. But that's also how I feel when I get DMs sometimes because I just assume nobody runs their own accounts anymore. Oh, right. It's probably somebody gay. Hey, faggot. Hey, fierce bitch. Hey, fierce faggot. Shannon Elizabeth is living for your tea. She wants you to come boots. Hey, fierce faggot. Hey, fierce faggot. Shannon Elizabeth has been living for your tea. And she wants you to come boots. Ah!

Shannon Elizabeth. Icon. Alexis Michelle. Shannon Elizabeth. Alexis Michelle. I love good. You know, my favorite porn name is Jenna Jameson. Oh, yeah. It's a great name. It's fabulous. Also, Tracy Lords. As a porn name? You like the name? Just a regular name. Oh, Tracy Lords. Okay. You don't think Tracy Lords sounds like a porny? Well, some people have names that you have to say both.

Tracy in the rhythm of it and Tracy Lords is one of those names where you have to say Tracy Lord Tracy Lords Jenna Jameson I have to say David Silver David Silver I don't know why Ashley Michelle Alexis Michelle Ashley Michelle no that was that Ashley Michelle was in a Queen of Boston Ashley Michelle Alexis Michelle yes I know it's this head scratch Mary Kate like an Ashley like it's a it's a would she pick to sugar and spice should be Ashley and Michelle Ashley and Michelle

Ashley and Michelle. Mary-Kate and Ashley. That's three people with two girls. What do you think about people who assert their middle name? My name is Sarah Michelle Geller. Do you know what I mean? What do you think of that? Tiffany Amber Thiessen. What do you think of that? I think it's crazy. I think it is too. Well, also, it's like, what's her name? Sarah Jessica Parker. Sarah Jessica? We have to go talk to Sarah Jessica. Sarah Jessica? That's Alexis Michelle. Sarah Baby Jessica Parker. Yeah.

I think it's crazy. It's crazy. I think it's insane. It's really crazy. Tiffany Amber Thiessen. Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeah. Although I. Tiffany Amber? I guess we're all saying women's names though. Tiffany Amber? Michael Patrick King. Michael Patrick King? Dustin Lance Black. Dustin Lance Black. Weird to have three names. Weird to have three names. Brian Joseph McCook. Brian Michael Furcus. Brian Jordan Alvarez. Brian Jordan Alvarez. Weird. Freckle.

Freckle. Freckle. Freckle. So you showed me a clip from The Suite Life of Cody Brown or whatever. It's called The Something Something of Caleb Gallo. The Something Something of Caleb Gallo. Control group. Control group. This very talent. The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo. It's a web series that, I'm not kidding, is probably eight years old now. I think it's probably more than that. Control group.

Control room. 2016. So seven. Whatever. Yeah. Eight years old. I was right. And were you right? Was she right? Yeah. Okay. Brian Jordan Alvarez is in it. Who is from, he's in Megan. He was in Will and Grace. I think he's so attractive. He's amazing. I think he's so attractive too. I think he's so, I think he's so attractive. Very handsome. He's so handsome. But you watch his Instagram for the comedy thing.

He does characters using filters. So funny. And one of them is me, Timothy, the bald one. The one with the source energy one. Connecting the source energy. Marnie. That's Marnie. Marnie is so, Marnie is the best. I bought you a cameo from Marnie. Marnie, yes, you did. And the video said, Katya, I remember meeting you in Prague. Yes.

You were walking into the ocean. It was something crazy like that. So fierce. You're reconnected with source energy. You're screaming. Brandon has a t-shirt of Marnie that says pure source energy. Yeah, it's fabulous. And it's him. It's this actress Freckle. Freckle. I mean, everybody in it is good. Freckle pieces resound. They're so funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. Sometimes things that are expensive...

- Far worse. - And she's really quite a beauty. - She's gorgeous. - The eye color, the skin, the lip, the hair. - Gorgeous, hardly any makeup on that face. - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. - And she plays this character so wild. - So wild. I know this character. I know this person. - Yeah. - I know this person. This is a fully fleshed out person. - There's a scene where she's putting on like cold cream and she goes, "God, that's a lot." And she goes, "With how much I drink, I gotta put the moisture back in."

So funny. So funny. Yeah. I've had eight glasses of wine. I've had eight glasses of wine. Yeah. Good for her. Freckle. Freckle. What else? Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Ask me a question. I have a question. I have a hot topic.

Do you know about the Budweiser thing? Are you kidding? Okay, so this activist. Dylan Mulvaney. Yes, TikToker and activist Dylan Mulvaney. Budweiser did like a little activation PR thing with them. Trans person, by the way. Trans person. And by the way.

Every year for every pride for decades, every alcohol brand gets involved in pride. Of course. They want to dip into the gay dollar. It's not a trans dollar. Yeah. It's not new. The LGBT in June means green. Yes. And every brand gets involved. Every beer, every liquor, every wine. And it's gotten more and more so. Yeah. But I would say 20 years ago. Yeah.

beer shit was like for pride. Like when you play a Milwaukee pride fest, you will play the Miller stage. Sure. Sure. Sure. Anheuser-Busch tent. Right. Yeah. So it's really cracky, bizarre, left field and whack that conservatives are now like, now the agendas come to beer. Yeah. Where have you been? I have to dump out all of my bud light. And then not only that, I have to line up the bottles and shoot them with a rifle because my name is kid rock.

Do you know about that one? What happened? Shooting, literally shooting, but is it Bud Light? Yeah. Shooting Bud Light cans or bottles with a rifle in protest. Should kids even have guns? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was good. That was fun.

- I think it's so, I think everybody is so stupid. - It's funny because it's like every year like clockwork, every liquor brand doing gay stuff, doing gay stuff. And then for some reason. - The LGBT. - This person, something about this person and this scenario made conservatives realize

Beer and liquor has been gay for a long time. This isn't new. Your favorite beer, whatever, didn't pivot messaging. This has been happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you look so stupid to be mad about it. Yeah. Also, you're also just giving them tons of free press. You know what I mean? Well, apparently not because did you see the apology? What apology? Honey, baby, darling.

When I tell you what you're about to be told. Kid Rock apologized? He said, sorry for shooting all those cans. Anheuser-Busch put out a statement. They said, we didn't know that Dylan Mulvaney was Tran. No, I wish it was that simple. It's crazier. It says, let me try to find it. Now, I understand these are big companies, whatever, whatever, whatever. But I just want to prerequisite this by saying, if you're not trans,

I'm just going to let you read it. Okay. As the CEO of a company founded in America's heartland more than 165 years ago, I am responsible for ensuring every consumer feels proud of the beer we brew. We're honored to be part of the fabric of this country. Anheuser-Busch employs more than 18,000 people in our independent distributors employee, an additional 47,000 valued colleagues. We have thousands of partners, millions of fans, and a proud history supporting our communities, military first responders, sports fans, and hardworking Americans everywhere.

That's a very particular group. But do you see how it's a lot of words so far? Nothing has been said. We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people. We are in the business of bringing people together over a beer. My time serving this country taught me my time serving this country, serving this country. A lot of words here. A lot of particularly chosen words here. Serving this country taught me the importance of accountability and the values upon which America has was founded. Freedom.

Hard work and respect for one another. As CEO of Anheuser-Busch, I'm focused on building and protecting our remarkable history and heritage. There's a lot of dog whistling going on, if you know what I mean. No, do you see how they're not making a stance apologizing about gay shit, but they're saying, we have a proud history. We used to also be racist. You know what I mean? Yes, they're dog whistling. They're dog whistling. They're like, hey, listen up, y'all. We actually hate trans too. Maybe not that, but they're not...

My issue is they're not doubling down and saying, you know what? We love everyone and we love Dylan. Eat shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been fine. I care deeply about this country, this company, and our brands and our partners. I spend much of my time traveling across America listening to and learning from our customers, distributors, and others. Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation. It's not an apology. It's a nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. And that's what I find so offensive.

It's so wild.

Our messaging is a little more conservative and we shouldn't have done that. And we don't like LGBT. Do one or the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This middle shit. This is a bunch of like corporate, like 30 people at a table typing this letter by letter being like, make sure you don't express any real views. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But okay, we have to hit the buzzwords like serving.

Like the serving our troops, first responders, heritage, history, like all this, like this sounds like the making of like a Kirk Cameron movie. It's like, it's crazy. And the issue is I personally,

I feel in America that the average consumer increasingly wants brands to have almost like political identities. We want to know that Kleenex also believes in gay marriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care if Scott Towles or Brownie Paper Towels is sponsoring Pride. Right, right. I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the flip side of that is...

When I find out, I don't know, the CEO of this company is poaching exotic animals. I don't love it. Or when you find out that the CEO of this company is actively like, is shoveling cash into focus on the family. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with a beer company like this, if your messaging has always been

that you're almost like dolly parton or beyonce where you never really express a view you sort of if you were like beyonce do you like the gay she'd be like i think everyone deserves love and respect boom or dolly would be dolly do you want gay marriage she'd be like i think everyone should be able to have the love they want yes they say like an uh around the phrase yeah yeah they're inclusive and if you're gonna be a beer company and when push comes to shove you put out that straight coward then you should have never expressed

An opinion to begin with, I guess. Yeah. If you're our allies when pride is coming and so things might happen attached to your brand, but you're not our allies when the hateful people that drink your beer speak up.

Yeah. And you weren't an ally, Mary. That's what's confusing to me about it. Ally means when it's going good, right? That's what it means. I can just enjoy it while it's going good and then dip. Well, that's why I was so confusing about it because I was like, I just assume that they have a much more sophisticated PR machine that could have and should have anticipated all of the blowback and the fallout and the negative repercussions from doing such a thing. But it seems like they were just kind of irresponsible and perhaps not that great. Yeah.

Well, Dylan being on TikTok, being open about like basically the first person to basically on TikTok at least day by day talk about transitioning. Obviously, Gigi did that on YouTube. Like it's happened a bunch of times. But I think that they probably thought that this is going to be the most like

Dylan's young hasn't been canceled doesn't have a potty mouth. Oh, right. I think they thought they were getting someone kind of Miss America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I'm just disappointed because what I would have loved to see if there was pushback was a complete double down of like, well, if you don't like gay people, don't drink our fucking product. Yeah. Or sorry, you're right. We hate queers. I mean, they're not going to do that. That word salad. It's crazy. It's unacceptable. It's the non-apology world's word salad that is filled with little dog whistles in it.

It's filled with little dog whistles. I'm glad you said that because I thought I was being biased. No, all those words are carefully chosen. History, heritage. History and heritage? Yes. Founding fathers. Yeah. When anybody mentions the founding fathers...

All they're doing is making a case for racism. Yeah. It's all it is. Mary, those founding fathers were like, they were like raping black women. Hello. Owning. Owning and raping black women. Yeah. And also the founding, Abraham Lincoln did not believe that black people were human. And by the way, finding fathers, stealing. They didn't find anything. Yeah, it's so crazy. It's so crazy. So crazy. So crazy. So I mean, it all comes back to

Watchmen. Because one of the main things in that was nostalgia. When you say you're nostalgic about a certain time, think about who that certain time was good for. So when you say shit like our founding fathers, whatever. No. Wasn't it fun 150 years ago when you and a bunch of white men were allowed to enjoy this product? Don't harken back to that. If anything, you should be like, we don't talk about her. Yeah. It's interesting that you're proud to boast your presence at a very un-

attractive time in American history, but you're quiet when it comes to how you feel about somebody who's transitioned on TikTok. I just find it gross. - It's crazy. - And I know that of a lot of, compared to a lot of people, I'm kind of capitalist Barbie and it's not my best quality, but nobody forced you to have a conversation about how you feel about gay people

But once you put your toe in that door and they barked back, you just cowered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't like that. No, it's crazy. It's no spy spineless, spineless, spineless. And they didn't even that word. Even if you were going to do word salad, it could have been better than that. Could have been way better than that. Could have been a little more pointed. A little, it had a point of view. Yes. That was like it. All it did was like from, from, um, uh, now more than ever from, from the start, we've always been here. Yeah.

And we will continue to be here. And thank you so much for all those others who were there as well. We'll see you there.

What? Yeah. Leanne Womack. I hope you dance plays in the background. Like it was really, I just found the whole thing very cowardly. Yeah. And I know, but again, maybe I'm being something I don't like about people, which is I expect brands to behave like people. These are companies. Well, if they're going to, if they're going to start, I mean, they are behaving like people, but that's the thing. Yeah. If you're social, cause social media accounts now,

Fritos. Yeah. Fritos is like walking into Monday. Yeah. Fritos has a personality now. You know who has all the personality on Twitter? Nabisco? Tushy. Do you follow Tushy's Twitter? Is it Tushy the porn site or Tushy the bathroom site? Tushy the bidet. The bidet. Okay. Tushy's Twitter is like, just woke up thinking about taking a poop. I'm dead serious. Tushy's Twitter is like,

Praying for all the girlies who still use paper on their anuses. Oh my God. It's really crazy. That one burnt. Yes. Happy anal sex day. One word advice, lube. And Tushy responded, and a bidet. Do you see what I mean?

Tushy's wild. And I have a Tushy in that bathroom. It's incredible. Okay. Love it. During the pandemic, everybody's scrambling for toilet paper. I was like, not over here. We're doing Noah's Ark up the ass. Okay. Not over here. Women and children first. We're doing 28 Days Later. Oh, no. We're doing 2020. What was that movie? 2020. 2012. 2012. We're doing 2012. 2012. Ocean's Eleven up my ass.

I'm not worried about paper. Paper? What is that? Paper? Danny Ocean up the ass. We're going to go. We're going to go, but I just had to talk to you about that Boboizer thing. I think it's just crazy. It is crazy. And by the way, we pre-taped these, obviously, so I'm sure this is like two-month-old news by the time this comes out. Whatever. Well, listen, have a lovely day. We're wrapping it up. I just encourage brands, if you're not going to have the gall and the wherewithal and the gumption to make a stance on something and stay that...

Just don't make a stand. Just be a brand. If you're going to pretend to be a person, try having some integrity. That. You know? That. If you're going to pretend to be a person, maybe try to have some integrity. Just a little bit. Yeah. Or I'm fine to just think of you as, oh, they just make beers. But if you're going to try to have a personality and values, don't be a chicken shit. Yeah, you have to have some. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.

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