Nothing Is More Terrifying Than Diane Lane Under the Tuscan Sun with Trixie and Katya
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Happy Halloween, all you horrible people. I hope you're having a fun time scaring the daylights out of your neighbors, collecting candy. I'm going to see The Craft tonight. Oh, that's spooky. Witchy, spooky fun. Well, right before this started...

Either I told David it was tomorrow, which is Saturday, or he thought it was tomorrow, which is Saturday. Either way, he's not here in town tonight and we were supposed to go together. So now. Sounds like a disaster. I'm either going to have to. Find a new David. I might wear all black and go to Sinispia by myself and sit on that fucking thing like that. I don't know if that's a good idea. I think I'm sitting next to Brie Larson.

That's great. She's a huge fan of the dolls. Local lesbian. Is she a lesbian? Oh. I don't know. Local lesbian. I don't know. Anybody who likes us, I just assume they have some kind of... Captain Mar-Vell. Yeah. Not one of the girls. Is Captain Mar-Vell a lesbian, right? She's got a very dykey quaff. That Mar-Vell...

She's out in the town tonight, honey. Spread those legs for girly girls. I don't know what her orientation is, but if she decides to be queer, I accept her and I support her. Yes, of course. I loved her. Fucking loved her. I loved her in everything. United States of Tara.

Captain Mar-Vell. Captain Mar-Vell. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. She plays that hot bitch. She sings that black sheep song. And then that other movie where she just slayed the house down. It was incredible. She's always incredible. She's always serving hunty. She eats, she gives, she serves, and she does it fiercely. Yeah, she always serves hunty. It's very strange for the diva. We've been having a very active Halloween life, actually, because we went to Terror Vault, which...

I never go to haunted attractions. You don't? Scared. Too scared. What a thrill that was, though. Too scared. Too scared. When we were sitting down and that woman came over right by you, you were very scared. I get scared. It was so funny. That's what I'm saying. If you're doing a haunted thing or you make a horror movie, I'm the guy. Because I'm never going to go to something and be like, let's see if this scares me. Right. I go in like...

Did you hear that? They're like, this is under the Tuscan sun. I'm like, this is complicated. That's Diane Keaton. And I wouldn't say I spook easily, but I like being scared. So I go into it with perfect love and perfect trust. Your game. Your game. The same way like I go to comedy, ready to laugh. I go to a sad thing, ready to cry. You go to a lobster boil with your fucking bib on. A hundred percent. And I get wrapped up in, I get wrapped up in the media. The local clam. What? The local.

No, like when I see the movie or the film, I get really wrapped up in what's going on. Of course. Yeah. Invested, shaken. And I have these, you know, I'm so open that I would say programs have an opportunity to imprint on me too fiercely. Oh. Watchmen. Watchmen. Yeah. Golden Girls. Things I've become obsessed with forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've seen Terror Vault. I saw Halloween Ends. I'm going to watch a lot of horror movies this week or so. Yeah. A fan. I got to show you a fan gift that I got. Hold on.

My favorite Halloween costume of all time has to be either a kitty or a horsey. Hard to say. They're both so fierce. And it's impossible not to serve Hunty when you're a kitty or a horsey. I got a fan gift in the mail. That's a large gift, Hun. Yeah, you know I love Friday the 13th. Of course you do. He sent me... It's a giant hockey stick. Blu-rays of every single film in the series. No, Blu-ray, that's a DVD. CD-ROM? That's a DVD. It's a Blu-ray. Blu-ray. Blu-ray.

Wow. It's one through 13. So it doesn't have Freddy versus Jason. 13 films and he never says a damn word. What is this? Well, he does a lot of stuff. Like there's, you know, he goes to New York. Jason takes Manhattan. I know. I remember that one. I saw it in the theater. He goes to space. That one's crazy. Horrible. He dips a girl's face in hydrochloric acid and her face freezes. And then he smashes her face. That's very Mortal Kombat. Yeah. Very Mortal Kombat. He also gave me, whoever sent this, I think his name's, let's see. He sent me a little note.

Hi Trixie and team had this extra first print set of Friday the 13th kicking around after learning you're a fan. I thought, anyway. Gabriel. Thank you, Gabriel. Thanks, Gabriel. But look at what else. What a lovely stack of Blu-rays you got there. Oh, your sex and mask. My sex and mask. Your sex and mask. Nice. Yellow. Is that regulation? Maybe it's aged. Oh, yeah. Cheddar cheese. Aged. It looks like a poster from the film. Some toys. And that make my Trixie doll fuck him. Oh, lovely.

A lanyard. Now, when you were in high school, did you have a car? No. Okay. Well, when I was in high school, I had a car and it was like, if you had a car, you kept your keys in a lanyard. Why is that? Because you wanted to make a huge show of having a car. You would like, you jingle it around. It's like a lot of this. Oh my God. Jingle jingles. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. Wow, that core memory of like standing outside a high school. Jingle, jingle, jingle. Notice me, mom. Look at me. I have a 93 Corsica with a broken window. Rich. Yeah, a 98 Acura Integra that is going to kill someone this afternoon. So I think what I'm going to do is, Dave and I did this a few years ago. We watched all of these in order. Bring a book. And even though I love these movies. Jesus Christ, they're horrible. I love these movies. They're not great. No, they're not good. It doesn't say anything. And when you watch that many in a row, you're like, what?

When I watch this mini in a row, I do go like, why was this series so popular? Because it just, because it like, it was, he was there. You know what I mean? He showed up. He showed up and he showed up again and again. And it's sort of, I mean, they basically tried to do Halloween, right? They tried to make, when Halloween happened, they tried to be fierce. Yeah. We'll give him a hockey mask, make a little beefy, you know. He's not even, Jason's not even in this till the second one. In the second one, he doesn't even have a hockey mask on. Or a big butt.

He plays hockey? Yeah. Everybody's got big butt in hockey. But you know what is sickening? The final girl from the first one. Top of the second movie, she dies. Top of the movie. Wait, full circle? Wait, no, wait, wait. She's the final girl in the first one.

And then right in the second one, she dies first. So the audience is like, yeah, then you're invested. You killed the person we thought you wouldn't kill. Right. I mean, imagine it. Laurie Strode does die in one of the Halloweens though. Yeah. One of the ones they like now don't acknowledge the story. Oh, the 2018 Halloween jumps to. Isn't it season of like, it's like witchy stuff. Season of the witch. Michael and Laurie aren't even in it. Cause I think they were trying to expand the series to be like. An anthology about Halloween. Yes. Yes.

But I think it's about a, that's a little too broad. A costume store that is selling masks. Yes. And they're like Satanists or something. Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to get the whole town to do like a, yeah, like a big old nasty ritual. Put their breasts out. Big old nasty ritual. Big Beth from accounting is sugar tits in the moonlight. Um, now if you could make a horror movie. Oh my God. Well, kind of more like, kind of like either producing or writing like,

Somebody gave you carte blonde billion dollars and you can make whatever kind of I'm basically masking is If you could materialize it and have it exist and it's a movie that you worked on that you know exactly what it is Okay, here we go. It is a dream of mine So, you know how they have like blaxploitation revenge like, you know The current Quentin Tarantino's been on the little revenge kick and glorious bastard. Uh-huh revisionist revenge dango. Yes, and

I'd do the same thing, but for aboriginals of America. Girl, mama, we are long overdue for this piping hot tea because Dances with Wolves was not it. And Last of the Mohicans was certainly not the last of the Mohicans. Like we need a full on. So I have the whole mood board. It's very like exploitation. The Indians are impossibly stunning.

like ripped, gorgeous, lovely, interesting, fabulous. Every single one of them is beautiful. A lot of intersex too, trans. And then the white specter of doom that is coming across the pond from England is

tooth pulse like pustules on the face like they look so evil so villainous so horrible and then they got the English teeth yeah and like little friar tuck haircuts and stuff yeah it just they look like whodunit and they're coming for the yeah it's crazy and I have a lot of scenes I'd like to do an opening scene that's very grisly oh so it's like revisionist where like they don't succeed in invading they don't at all

They murder every single one of them white bucktooth bitches. Well, did you see every one of them? Predator? Yeah, it was nice. Okay. But it was a flavor of that. It was a flavor of that. But that was like an interloper came. I want the real. Yeah. You're not welcome here. Yeah. Like I want the whole revenge thing and I want it good. I like that too. Yeah. We're long overdue for it.

And I want it to be exploitation. Like not accurate. We don't want accuracy. We want hot Indians kicking the shit and scalping white people. Why is it inaccurate that Indians are hot? Every single one of them hot. That's true. Every single one. Not an ugly one in a bunch. I gotta say, we got a lot of Native Americans in my family. It ain't one of us on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Okay, the only thing that happens is you get diabetes. Yeah, and you got a nice thick hair. They take the leg My my fierce though Ian McKellen getting chopped head chopped off. Yes, you know and maybe it's not for profit Maybe it all goes to um, oh no, it's for profit profit pure green profit and the people at the helm white Back to England Yeah, I think that's really great it's love revenge and

It's the ultimate thing that's wrong with America. Well, I mean, there's the slavery thing too. They talk about it in Watchmen. Yes, they do. They talk about all good topics. It is discussed in Watchmen. But until you can acknowledge something, you're not even beginning to process, apologize, heal. And the fact that Native American people, reservations are really like...

Every time we think of you, we have to think of what we did. Can you? Yeah. There's this lovely, dry, barren little stretch of land. Could you go over there? Forever? Yeah. And that's the part that's really nefarious. It's like, you're not here because we're protecting you. At best, we're treating you like an endangered species of animal. Yeah. That's how Primi has rabies. Maybe he's got rabies. Yeah. It's horrible. But white people, what are you going to expect? But fun fact about the bird industry.

It's hard because so many birds are in rescues. However, bird breeding and bird stores, bird industry of selling birds is for some species the only thing keeping them from being extinct. So it's like if we were like, no more bird breeders. You should adopt only. Several species could just go away because if they're not bred in captivity, they're not like populous enough in the wild to survive. So what do you think is... I don't like that. I don't...

I don't like that. What? I don't like that we let animal species become so depleted and traumatized that they disappear forever. Nothing should be pushed to the point of, I mean, dinosaurs, but like, but that was like a comment or whatever. Right. Yeah. But like humans killing like the passenger pigeon or like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, we don't need to,

Disrupt the ecosystem so we always talk about like rich people poaching Yeah, that's not as big of a threat as like deforestation or like salmon fishing in the Yemen They're saying like how many species of animal I was reading about how many of them have come and gone before we even like Started paying attention to which ones are disappearing. Yeah gone gone gone gone gone But you know what though nature will have the last laugh you better believe it I'll tell you where they're gonna have the last laugh on the equator. Oh

Yes on the the the sands of the Pacific Ocean. Oh, it's gonna be gone Oh gone this I'm in the fourth floor. It's gonna become Oh, this would be the lobby of the new Atlantis. You know what I mean? The water will rise to my patio and I'll drop out of this patio and I'll get in my birch by birch bark canoe and I'll canoe down to the pick-and-save and I'll have a big bug net that I fish a loaf of bread that six months old out of a puddle nice I love food

I think you would be in that canoe. You would tip over. You would drown to death. Not great at canoeing. Yeah. You know, I used to go whitewater rafting because a lot of whitewater rafting up north. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. And then I tried kayaking once and I was like, oh, this is how you die. So this kayak flips over in the rapids. You're done. You got to use the paddle to flip. It's a wrap. How about the thing where you stand on it and you go like a gondola on your feet and your two feet? That seems crazy. For toy people, right? I did it on my knees because I was too afraid to get up on my feet. I'm going to take a break. Oh, let's take a break.

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Do you like my shirt, by the way? Is that JC Catlin? Jim Curry, the mask. What is that? It reminds me of JC Catlin. I love that. That's great. I think this is either Fashion Brand Company or Chris Simpson. It reminds me of Julia Roberts, the singer. No, it's not Julia Roberts. Madonna, the singer. Yeah. That's great. I think it's... Jim Curry, the mask. Jim Curry, the mask. Yeah. I think it's Fashion Brand Company or it's Chris Simpson. Okay. Do you know him? Very funny. Very funny.

illustrator Chris Simpson knows so funny knows exactly how to reach in my body and touch my little funny bone and go like this that bitch cracks me up yeah especially during the holidays lovely Christmas posts on that page on the internet can we talk about moving for a second moving sure you just moved rock and roll movers four times the charm

Okay. Yeah, they moved me. I didn't move. Now, how much pre-moving did you do? Were you there? Did they box everything up? So the last time they did, they walked into my gross, lazy ass apartment. They boxed everything up. They packed it and they shipped it and then whatever. And then you had to deal with unboxing like random items. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't unbox it. I smoked and I hovered like cigarettes and I was like, you know, like a creep, like a crazy person. And I paid a lot of money to do that.

And how did they know where things were going? I'd tell them, you know, I just, I would be supervising, not helping though. Okay. I don't, I need to do that. Yeah. The new house. Well, if you pay for it, it's a, it's a service that they offer and it's really wonderful. So it's like, it's like another level of moving. We're like, we're there during the pack up where they're doing the unpack. So then when they leave, the boxes are gone and your house is on. They fuck you. Oh, but I, do you know, do you know? Oh,

This is a thing. This is not a pie in the sky thing. This is a thing. And they show up and I'm in like, I don't know, like a blouse that's kind of open and like a Rosie the Riveter bandana over the head like I've been working at home. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I just, I can't lift this.

And then they, the riveter. Yeah. Like a, like a bandaid on the head. Like I've been working like Lucy. I love Lucy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're like, and I'm like, God, you guys work out. I'm like, Oh my God, can I just, I'm like touching the arm and I'm like, wow, I guess I should suck your cock. Right. Yeah. I guess I, I, I left my wallet on my other purse, but I have this pussy in the middle of my face called a mouth.

You probably should fuck it or else we'll all go to jail. Yeah. No, listen, rock and roll movers, very expensive. You can't have sex with people who work for you though. That's a fantasy and that's not real. I agree. I agree. Next thing you know, it's a power dynamic issue. It's a balance of power. It's a try guy situation. Yeah. Why don't you try not having sex at work, guy? Yeah.

Hello, we're not talking about that That was more than the war in Iraq the war in Iraq wishes They got as much screen time is that fucking try guy with a philanderer if having sex with somebody besides my husband is a crime then you are Osama be a bitch because Everybody's run train on this pussy. What it gives them Tati Westbrook. This is this is a

A situation I never thought I would be embroiled in. It's crazy. But let's just say that if I ever want to have sex with someone, they better have never worked with me and never have worked for me and never will. Yeah. I mean, they're already going to be dissatisfied and dismembered by the end of it. Yeah. I just, I thought it was funny. Did you have a slutty tour? Um, I had several, um, enriching, wonderful sexual encounters that I will remember for the rest of my life. Mm hmm. Fond memories, beautiful men, great big weenies.

Good times. Yeah, no, I did. Great oldies. Great. Oh yeah. All the oldies, all the hits, all the, um, yeah, I was good. I'm not going to tell. I don't, I've been recently chastised for kissing and telling. Thank you very much on this podcast. Um,

You know what? I'll just say this. If you have the nerve to pretend you don't know who I am the whole time we're fucking, I have a right to go talk about your dick on my podcast. Yeah. Let's have that conversation. I name dropped. No, I didn't name drop. I described an encounter with someone whose name I omitted. There was no way you could possibly know it was that person. And they were just like, what are you going to do? Talk about me on your podcast again? Yes, I will. Yeah. So whatever. I'm not saying your name. I'm not saying your social security number. No. Yeah. Like, is the grocery store going to get mad at me if I complain about the carts not being returned?

Wait, what? Like if I come on the podcast and complain about something or talk about something, am I supposed to talk about no people, places, or things while I'm here? Right. I see what you mean. Yeah. And we're keeping it anonymous very much so. Not even like, not even tea also. Also, how come when Carrie Brownstein, what's her name? Carrie Brownstein. Carrie Bradshaw. How come when she does it, it's like, she gets $100,000 a year. I talked about his crazy,

Curved penis And I couldn't help but think Could I be with a guy With a curved penis I better talk Like how come then It's fun and trendy But when I talk about Your dad Opening me up Like an envelope Yeah It's over a line Yeah stuff in your mouth Full of clam chowder Yeah

The double standards. You know what? If you're having sex with me, you have bigger issues. You should be ashamed on a different level. Self-esteem. Generational trauma. Who should I sleep with to make myself feel better? What about the bald cross-dresser? Yeah. The one with the bite with the beady eyes. Girl, I'm like, oh God. I mean, I don't know. But so anyways, I did, I had, yes. To answer your question, yes. And to move a little bit along. At this point, I've seen more soft dicks than an undertaker. You know? You know what I do to tuck now?

Tie a string around my head of my dick and the other end is the other the other than a string is on a golf ball And I shove that golf ball up my ass. That's how it keeps the he's a tight We shove a golf ball up your ass. Yeah Yeah, you're super super cool your dickhead to your anus Damn would you mm-hmm? I would I Tiger would who's your favorite golfer? I

Just off the top of my head. Jack Nicholson. Donald J. No, not Donald. That's the only person I've ever seen in a golf outfit. Barack Obama. Martina Navratilova golfs, I think. Yeah. Big old Les loves the golfing. I got to imagine that at the women's golf championships, it's probably a good camaraderie. Eating out with one of the girls. Yeah. Good camaraderie. And then sawdust in the air. And Les in town. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a buzzsaw, but it's really just cunnilingus. Yeah. I'm doing stagecoach the same night as Melissa Etheridge. And if I don't get to meet her. What's stagecoach? It's a music.

It's kind of like Coachella for folk music. Oh, for CPAC people. Yeah, it's in Palm Springs. Stagecoach. I'm doing it the same night as Melissa Etheridge. If I don't get to meet her, I'm going to KMS. You're going to kill yourself in front of her. I'm going to KMS. Give her generational trauma. The good way or the hard way? Yeah. Do you know about what happened to Bjork?

The bomb thing? Yes, I do. Do you know about the man who sent a video of himself killing himself? Yeah. I didn't know about that until I read about it. And when I found out about it, I was disturbed by it. Yeah. Poor thing. I know. Now, when did she hit that reporter? Love that video. I know. My favorite one is... If we get famous enough that people are just taping us at LAX...

Oh, we'd never, by the way, never going to happen. Those, the nineties are over. You know what I mean? There's no more paparazzi. What are we? Brangelina? Uh, TMZ and stuff is constantly at the airport. Are they chasing after Charlie D'Amelio? Let's say you're Kylie Jenner and you have like a drama. They're going to be at the airport, but they're at the airport because you hired them to produce the drama.

We oh, okay. What about this? Well, I don't want well, I don't want okay I get really ahead of myself. So like you have an idea but you went well I have this idea that you and I trick people into thinking we're together and we do it by going to somewhere like Rockos Hollywood deep We're sitting across each other. We're holding hands and we we tip off paparazzi ourselves and then they're photographing us like together and

I think we have to. But then we break up and we do like a breakup tour and people like, I'm just saying we can monetize our friendship further by fucking. I know, but I think that we go a step further and we do a deep fake where it is more is revealed when the clothes come off.

Are their genders the same ones that they were assigned at birth? I don't know. Stay tuned to find out. 1995. These were two women impersonating men, impersonating women the whole time. It was a Connie and Carla situation. But wait, there's more. Do you have $20? Go to this website and then you can see full, well-lit photos of their genitals gaping wide open. Click here to see my pussy. Exactly. Did you want me to top you?

I don't know. But it would be Mickey Rourke in Dog the Bunny Haunter. The Bunny Haunter. The Bunny Haunter. Are people still having anal? I think everybody I know now is either...

what everybody i don't know is either s and m fist up the butt or they're aside not gold side is the new verse side is the new like i don't have i'm just catching up to regular like the top top verse wait top verse top top verse verse bottom bottom side is like saying verse whatever like verse bottom verse top you're just a top or a bottom that's not true i take it back never mind

You should have like a Venn diagram of like the sex acts you want to, like there should be like a, what's that personality test? ENTMJ4? Yeah. Myers-Briggs, I think. Yeah. They should have that for sex. And so you can present like your infographic. Yeah. I like boobs, butts. But like if you want to drink piss, I'm willing to do that about 1% of the time. Yeah. Or never. People really do. I feel like they are very clued in and very, um,

Informational about what exactly they're into when they're into it and how much they're into it online. That's what I say Yeah, yeah, I love getting the mail. I love being naked. I love jerking off I love you know fucking oldies whatever they just list it all in the order of importance. That's really great I will say this with David. I didn't know much it was a little wholesome because it was tinder and I think tinder is less slutty and

Is that by choice or by well we I was I was actively seeking a boyfriend to date So I think it was more you had to go to tinder because you couldn't date one of them sluts who always has their clothes off on Grindr, right? Well, he had a picture of himself with a dog and I thought oh well dogs don't hate him So he's not possessed by the devil Okay, then I saw him in like a one of his pictures was him in like Italy and

Like a boat. Okay. And I was like, oh, he's so worldly. He's going to take me to Italy. The Jewish star. Then you're like, cha-ching. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Let's be honest. I zoomed in on the picture and I saw the little. Yeah, totally. I don't obviously read Hebrew, but there was this girl I follow on YouTube and she had a little Hebrew sign on her necklace. In a big part of the video, I thought, why is she wearing a pie symbol? I really thought it was a pie symbol. And I went,

It's not a pie symbol. Well, it could have been. But it looked like a pie symbol on the necklace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like this big. Well, Jews love pie. Who doesn't? In math, too. 3.14159. Say it again for the folks in the back. Now, when you were in school, did you do well with geometry when it comes to circles and radiuses? No, I was all squares. No, I was bad at math. I got Bs in math, As in everything else. Did you like physics? Never took it.

Nor did I take chemistry. Big regrets of my life. The two biggest regrets of my life. Not taking physics or chemistry in high school. Physics was cool because it was talking about like math in relation to the real world. Yeah. The apple off the tree. That's fun. The bra comes off and the boobs come out. Right. That's physics. And what did you say? Calculus, did you say? No, I said physics and chemistry.

Two huge regrets in my life. I wake up every day like, are you serious? No. Oh. But like, I mean, that'd be funny. Like, you know, chemistry was the hardest I've ever felt. That's like math and science. I was a kid who got good grades in chemistry. Stripped me of all my, all my sense of self. She knocked you down. I had to fight to get a C. Like why? It was so hard. If anybody studied chemistry, it would,

And you want to talk about a class where everything builds on itself? You don't learn that periodic table like they tell you in the first two weeks? Oh, yeah, you're screwed. It's over, bitch. It's like trying to have a conversation about the ABCs. It's tough. It got so hard so fast. Couldn't keep up. And I was going into the teachers outside of class and crying. I was like, I don't get in. Were they laughing at you, laughing in your face, telling you you'll never catch up? No, but I just, everybody has different styles of teaching. Sounds like you have a big regret in your life, too. I wish I had got it more. There's time.

And same with beauty school. I don't like that there's an academic thing I didn't finish. Well, we got about 25 minutes left. Let's go. Yeah, go now. They're probably still open. Somebody of my profile can just go down to Paul Mitchell and put a curler in someone's hair.

Yes, you go right down to Vidal Sassoon. They give you an honorary doctorate or whatever. Get the fuck out of there. It won't take 15 minutes. Bang trims. I want to open a store where we just do bang trims. It's a salon. They're 10 minute appointments. Bang trims. $50 to $100 depending on if it's like blonde or brunette, which changes every day. And there's no money back and no talking. Great. I'm actually really fine with that. Yeah. Okay. You have off this year for Halloween. Yes. Are you going to dress up?

I'm going to dress up either as like a kitty or a horsey or a vampy. Maybe a vampire. That's fun. $10 Dracula.

Love it. One of those. 69 cent plastic fangs that make your gums bleed. And then the plastic cape that's 10 inches long. And then red jelly blood. White, very like. Streaky. Streaky. What does it look like? Toothpaste? Is that maybe toothpaste? And then it dries up. And then some coal around the eyes. It's so good. So sexy. Paint your nails. No. That's too much work. Too gay. That's too committed. Yeah.

$10 Dracula. What do you think about like a Bela Lugosi? Like what is it? Yeah. Bela Lugosi. Well, there's Bela Hadid. Yes. Yeah. Bela Lugosi. And then, um,

Basically the same person. You know, she was a dog before she became a model. Bella Hadid? Dog. Are you serious? Woof, woof. Are you serious? Yes. Before and after Bella Hadid. Look it up when we're done. You will gag. That's like the Kylie billboards. I'm like revisionist history at its best. No, I think it's moving forward confidently into the future. You know what I mean? Yeah. She looked like a dog woman. And she's like, it's a stunner now. Yeah. And we also like, I don't know. Do we need...

I'm okay with like Rebus. Rebus sold lipstick for a while. And I actually was fine with it. But that's what I'm fine with. Oh, I see what you mean. Not everybody who sells lipstick should have to like get through the pay gate of having big inflated lips. Right. Of course not. Because I also like as a makeup consumer, I want to know what a normal person thought of that product. Right. Yeah. Not like...

Some people have great lips for lipstick and it just Anything will look good on their lips You don't want lipstick from that person You want Reba to be like oh wow she had one orange lip But it looked really great I want that one That's a good point actually Maybe she has lips on but she has a really strong underbite I'm really into underbites right now You must love Billy Eichner then Well Billy Eichner underbite There was a guy in Halloween Ends at an underbite And now on camera I look I think it's a very attractive look What does it show it?

It's like Sling Blade. That kind of thing? I don't know. I think Jimmy Kimmel has a slight one. Is it kind of like a charming doofus kind of vibe? No, it's like most people, their teeth go over their bottom teeth. But I think people underbite, it kind of sits equal or forward. Oh, yeah.

Like the kid in your school who used to say humbug. Oh my God. That's adorable. Very cute. Yeah. But I think it also normally goes with the underbite. I'm all for people having healthy teeth, but I don't consider an underbite something people have to correct. I think it's a kind of a good look. I mean, Patty Arquette has the best grill in Hollywood in my opinion. She doesn't have like fake teeth. They're like so wonderfully. She's so beautiful. Yeah. She's good. And she has a unique set of chompers that are very dazzling from.

I like when people have funky teeth. I do too. Heidi. I cried when you got veneers for three weeks straight. I cried every night and in the morning. Well, next year I'm going to get the bottoms next year. Oh my God. I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to kill myself. Well, I'm also getting a lower third.

You need a job I'm making a full body lipo and a body lift if I hear you're in Turkey. I'm gonna kill Istanbul Istanbul I will be there on the chopping block table stand with bull bullshit that she got her teeth fixed girl I mean, they're gonna be cutting into me like Brie. You're gonna come back looking like Amanda Lepore Entirely blonde eyebrows. Hi, I'm Tritzy in my face. I'm gonna look like fame all the time. I'm like, oh

Just emerging from a pool, a beautiful blue crystal pool. Fame is, she's aging in reverse. I know. And it's, that's such a cliche, but she's really doing it. That's such a cliche, but she's really doing it. I'm out here looking like one of the California raisins and she is doing young, tight, puffy, wet. I know. She's,

tight pussy young girl puffy wet skin she puffy wet skin she does all she can do all those trends that are like reserved for like 22 year old tiktokers and she's in her late 30s yeah sobriety that's also part of it she gets over really young she sleeps she goes she drinks water and she also does a lot of the treatments you know I don't think she exercises much

No. Who has the time when you're in those fashion magazines modeling? I hope she's in like one of those old fashioned sweat things that goes up to the neck. Yeah. We like sit in it. Well, she has chickens. That's like that go tire you out. That's the fountain of youth. You know, chickens are, yeah. Animals. Well, Halloween. Oh,

That was the Halloween episode? Yeah. We didn't even talk about it. I tried to steer it. I was like, what are you being for Halloween? And then you didn't ask me. Oh, so you're going to be. Oh, man. Well, I got three costumes ready. Okay. What do you got? I got a mummy, like a mummy cat suit with big pink Bride of Frankenstein hair. Okay. But that sounds like a full look. It's like a Halloween look. Yeah. And I might do green skin. I thought pink hair, green skin, like a monster high dog would be cool. Yeah.

I have a, you know, I love Reno 911. I know you do. And I have a Clementine outfit. Okay. You know, Wendy McLennan Covey. Yes. Blonde hair. Slutty. Slutty shirt. I am afraid of people getting mad that I'm dressed as a police officer, even though I'm dressed as Reno 911. I cap all the time. Don't do it, Jackie. You think? Don't do it. Yeah, I know. It's not even fun. Like, it's fun to laugh at them, but you don't want to. Yeah, so I'm having that made, but I don't think I'm going to actually be able to wear it. Maybe if you. Yeah. Terrifier 2.

goes to fire too yeah and then i'm probably for one of my dj gigs i'm going to do an actual black tights black shoes black dress cat ears oh i love that the classics never die yeah and i like to look like tricksy going to tricksy look i like to look like a dumb bitch stop by spirit halloween yeah on the way to the gig i love that yeah it's great dumb bitch tricksy goes to halloween people dresses me for halloween not the other way around thank you

The best is how when people dress up as me, it's usually a read. People dress up as you. It's usually a girl and she looks great. I know. She's like, she's like getting a little wacky and she looks gorgeous. And she's wearing a cheerleader outfit or like a little peasant dress. And she's got, she'll have one of your dresses on. She'll be like, I got it on your depop. I had it taken in. I cut it in half and then took it in. It's like, Oh, it's amazing.

Yeah. Be safe out there, especially if you're dressing as me and Trixie and watch out for razor blades in your chocolate. Got to tell you. Got to tell you. You have off this year for Halloween. You said that three times already. You're trying to shame me though. No, you got to find a way to hand out candy. It's so fun. I found it. It's in my house. It's not hard. Wait a minute. They come to your house? Yeah. In the hills. Do you know what trick or treating is? You walk around. But not every neighborhood. Not every neighborhood.

Well, I have a big sign that says come to this house for candy or I'll kill myself. No, I think they're going to come to my house. Why wouldn't they? I would make sure it's going to happen because it's really enjoyable.

you want i want you to do it i'm gonna do it but why now i'm i guess maybe because there's no sidewalks they don't do every neighborhood they'll be designated like i bet south of melrose over here where it's all houses yeah everything's funny games south of melrose so if you can't if they're not coming to your house make sure you find someone's house to go to b e you had to get a bucket this big of those and e reese's um

Yeah, I was going to say, what is your favorite top three favorites? Mama. It's Snickers for me. Snickers, a full candy bar Rolo, and then a pack of Nerds. Okay. A Snickers, a Rolo, and a Nerds. Reese's?

which are second best to Reese's Christmas trees, which are turnt. Although Reese's Easter eggs are also turnt. So Reese's pumpkins, and now they make white ghosts. It's Reese's peanut butter with white chocolate. It looks like a ghost. I like those. I'm also, this is a little bit of a throwback, but I love those Tootsie Rolls that are fruit flavored.

Oh, not the chocolate. Tootsie Roll kind of makes them, but they're like fruity. Okay. Love those. We throw a blow pop in the trash or you eat it? I'll eat it. I'll eat it. This is kind of corny, but I also love like a pencil, like a wooden pencil with like pumpkins on it. Really? Yeah. Okay. That's fun. Wait, do you love videos of like,

The person pretending to be a scarecrow and then the kid comes to take the candy in there. Yeah, we had the talking pumpkin in our neighborhood scaring kids Primo primo primo the I'm so ready to move with David you can scare the shit out of them scared this shit hide in the home

Hide in the home for days. Hide in the home. You should go on a trip and just be in the cupboard. He doesn't listen to the podcast, so I never have to worry about him finding things out. I really want, while I'm out of town one weekend, to hire people to do masks out the windows. No, that's not good. That's not good. But they're not going to hurt him. Yeah. But imagine they give him the gate code. That's like the purge, Mary. They give him the gate code. And imagine he's watching TV and he sees someone just out the window in a mask. No, naked though. It's got to be all hereditary. And then he gets scared. And while he's scared...

There's someone in the house. There's someone in the house with a knife and they kill him. No, they don't kill him. Well, maybe they stab him, but they stab him like somewhere where like, it's not where like he should be focusing on at the gym. But this is sort of the gift here is that he gets to be the final girl. Oh. Because he survives this. Well, happy Halloween and goodbye. Happy Halloween. Yeah. Love it.

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