Ep 100: Is Adam Dying? Let’s Ask Dr. Brozarks!
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... What's up with my hemorrhoids? I'm drunk. Okay, the dick's out. I'm gonna learn something. The goddamn sequel! It's the sequel! The sequel!

Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Wow. We made it. We made it. We made it. Wow. I got to keep it 100. Don't stop. Oh, hit us with it. 100. 100. 100. 100. 100. Let's go. Okay, let's go. Man, wow.

Wow, this is a smash up. Walk down memory lane. Is it done? No, no. Should I keep going? Yeah. I'm gonna come. I just wanna party. Do not come. Oh, shit, bro. What was that, dude? I just wanna party? Was that Yellow Wolf? It was. Oh, man.

We made it. Wow. We made it. Awesome. My God, no one thought we could do it. Literally, not even us. Most listeners. Yeah. No, I thought we were doing, what, 45 or something? I was like, this is impressive. Yeah. This is impressive. Look at this go. And remember early on, I was like, I bet it'll take a solid 40 minutes.

to get good at this. Looks like it's going to take over 100. We're waiting. Still don't know what we're doing. Guys, should we tell everyone what we have planned for today? We're live outside the Bellagio Fountain. Can you hear it in the background? We had a lot planned. We had tickets booked. We had special guests.

We had, what else did we have? We had just a lot of secrets lined up. So many secrets. I did not know that. Oh, yeah. It was crazy. Kyle and I were on a flight to Las Vegas. Yes. Wow. I am here right now. Well, how did Ders and I not know that? Yeah. How come we first didn't know? Well, me and Blake sometimes just kind of go for it. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's a conquered thing.

Oh, the Concord Way, for sure. Water trash. Yeah, it's like, don't think, just go. So we were like, let's go. Don't think, do. Let's go! Yeah, we let's go. Let's go! And so, again, what did you do? Well, we had to cancel everything because what? There was a... We had a... Medical emergency. A medical emergency. We're getting old, guys. I gotta keep it a hundred. And specifically, I am...

Yeah, I went blind. It was the weirdest fucking thing. And we were supposed to record like last week. And the day before, I just got back into town. I was exhausted. And I was sitting outside reading a script. And I looked up and literally... I haven't told... I mean, I've texted with you guys, but we haven't talked on the phone. Right, too scary. Too real for us. It was too scary. I looked up.

I couldn't see anything. It was like the scariest shit of my life. Like literally my vision was, everything was blurred and crossed. Like in a moment, just all of a sudden, just all of a sudden. And did it go black? This is what I wanted to ask you. Did it go dark or you just saw the blur? Just the blur. You were in a blur zone. And then I had like a crazy headache and I couldn't, I could barely keep my eyes open except for to look straight ahead or down. Hmm.

Which didn't stop me from watching three more episodes of Sopranos. Really? Hey! You just listened? All I need to do is hear it. Wait a second. What? Hold on a minute. This wasn't in the text. Yeah, I had them downloaded. So I was just laying there being like, well, I probably just have a headache or something. But then it really scared me because I was like, maybe I've just...

I'm just exhausted and it's going to go away in an hour or so. And then it lasted like four hours of me being fucking blind until I finally was like, this sucks. I'm going to go to watching the Sopranos for four hours while you were blind. Yeah.

No, not the whole time. I just want to like... What? I was in the process. Yeah, I watched an episode. Then I became blind. Then I tried to watch another episode and... Blind. And it wasn't working that well. Still blind. So it was like radio. It wasn't working that well. See, these are the details. When we get like...

We get the text that we're not going to be able to do the podcast because Adam – from our manager because Adam has gone to the hospital because he's gone blind. Well, I haven't gotten there yet because I had a – Well, we're ready to talk about it. Yeah. Well, I hadn't got a – Do not come. But these are the details that would have been good to know where it's like, hey –

Adam went blind, but then also watched two more hours of Sopranos. Yeah, was chilling. Well, I was like laying there going like, well, what am I going to do? You know, it was like 7 or 8 p.m. I'm like not ready for bed. I can't fucking see anything. Throw a fucking cold rag over your eyes and lay down.

I don't know how to take care of myself, dude. I'm home alone. Chloe's not here. I don't know how to take care of myself. And so I'm just like laying there. And then I could try to get through that next episode. It didn't really work. Because if I look down or straight ahead, I could focus on one thing. Oh, you could have gone the rest of your life like that. You'd be fine. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I could have. People operate that way. I thought it went dark. But as soon as I started to look around, I couldn't see anything. And like was dizzy. Like I was going to fall over. Mm-hmm.

And so I went to bed. The next day I had an appointment because I tore my groin muscle when I was shooting the bumper show because I'm an old man now, you know? Yeah, man, you're falling apart. You mean you tore it like months ago? Like six months ago, yeah. And then it's still fucking killing me. It feels like someone like kicked me in the fucking nuts all the time. Let me get in there. Yeah, you need a good massage. Let me get in there. I'll get it out. You need a good top massage. So much so that I won't let Chloe suck on my balls.

Stop it. And that's one of my favorite activities. Is she cool with that or no? She's really cool with it. She's actually so cool with it. Yeah, that's cool. I'm going to say it. TMI. And then I went to the...

TMI Nation. That should be the name of this show. TMI Nation. Then I went to the doctor for the groin. I already had a doctor's appointment. I haven't been to a doctor in over three years. Go to the doctor's appointment, told him about my groin issue. He's like, okay, yeah, I'm going to look at it.

Let me suck your balls. And then I was like, oh yeah, a weird thing happened last night and told them about my eye situation and they freaked out. They're like, what? You couldn't watch Sopranos? Was it kind of similar to how we're freaking out? You're just talking about how you kept watching TV? Yeah, dude. I mean, I'll relay my experience also, but go ahead. And so then I was like, I mean, it was really scary. I didn't know what to do in the moment. And

And so I was like, it was better the next day except for my left eye kept twitching to where I couldn't really see out of my left eye all that well. Right, like a horse butt when it twitches? Yeah, or my dog's butt. Yeah, like a winking butthole. Not the hole. Doctor, my eye is like a winking butthole. Winking butthole? No. Doctor Bro. If you go to like a cool down and dirty strip club, the buttholes will wink?

Of course I do. Why? That's what my eye is doing. And so they freaked out. They went to the hospital. I had to get all these tests. I had a CT scan. I had an MRI done. This is when it starts to get very serious. I just spent the night, which you don't normally have to do. It was very, very scary. Kind of spooky. Yeah, and then...

Essentially, they were like, I think you go... Basically, the doctor was like... He was a Brozark kind of doctor. He's like, yo, what's up? Sure. Seems like you go too hard in the paint, bro. And it was migraine. It was a migraine. A migraine. And then did the Brozark be like, would you like me to suck on your balls just to test it? Right.

Well, my balls still hurt. That's the issue is that's not resolved. What the? So Saturday I have to go and get a ultrasound on my nutsack. Uh-huh. Good. I'm pissed now. On my nutsack. Fuck it. Fuck it.

You couldn't get a twofer? The MRI didn't kind of scan that business too? No, it was just the nog. The MRI is the head, right? That's the cranium? That's all it does? I don't know. That's what that did. Well, you got two heads on your body, brother. You never know. Nice, Blazer. Yeah, yeah. Thought about it. Didn't say it. You said it. I laughed. Lest you forget.

I'll go down that road. Pizza, pizza. Yeah, so it really sucked. It was really scary, you know, because you never think that you are going to have a stroke or anything. Like, that to me wasn't even a possibility. Some people do. Well, I mean, you know. And then they, like, looked at me, and they were like, you couldn't see. You. And I'm like, yeah, no, I really couldn't. It hurt a lot. I was dizzy. And they were like, you –

you might have had a stroke last night. You have to go to the hospital. And I'm like, do I have to? And then another doctor came in and he was like, I just heard what happened. You have to go to the hospital right now. We're calling an ambulance for you. And I'm like, I can drive myself. I can see out of my right eye. And they're like, no. We're saving bumper. And then I go there.

They all know who I am. They've called ahead and whispered, so they put me under a John Doe, but my name was Gem Doe, like gemstone. All right. Just Gem Doe. Gem Doe. Dude, you got to get better doctors, and I'm serious. Yeah, I need funnier doctors. How about people that are like, it's Adam Devine, that is his legal name, and we need to get him fixed. No screw-ups, no wrong surgeries, no wrong scans. Can you imagine? Yeah.

There's another gem-do. Gem-do. Dude, dude, call him gem-do. We got a gem-do here, and we thought it was a misspelling. He needed a new leg. Unbelievable. We cut off this man's leg. I love the idea of you dying and them being like, it was a righteous death. And you're like, help me. Please help me.

Yeah, but they were very kind in there. When you sent the text that said you may have had a stroke or a brain hemorrhage, my fucking mind went nuts, dude. I was like... What, you're saying you had a stroke or a brain hemorrhage? Well, that's what they told me. Why? They were like... Kyle, calm down. No, like I was... I'm not gonna... I mean, I'm an emotional guy, but I did like... I walked way into like this other area where I'm like, oh, no.

no you know what I mean like I let myself feel that for a moment did you start writing the letter no I did not I pulled myself out read it read it on air read it on air no I pulled myself out after when we kissed that one night I had a tear I shed a fucking tear thank you Kyle thank you man it was nice it was nice a lot of I shed a fucking tear I did I sat there on my bench by my pickleball court and I was like reading the text I'm like dude I know this guy you took a three minute time out from pickleball yeah I took a

moment. Hey, you know what? Two minute timeout. Yeah, I've got to process something real quick. He was hitting the ball extra hard like, if I hit it harder, I'll save him. I know it's a good game right now, but I need a break. Give me a minute, okay? Yeah, I need a break. I need a two minute break. If I can rally up to 12, he'll live. If I can't, he'll die. And then I came back and I won the game. So, you know, I was powered by the sadness of possibly losing part of Adam and

I won the pickleball game. We just stay positive. We appreciate that. Yeah. The eight brain cells I have left almost were gone, man. God, it was so real. When I told Emma how I might have had a stroke, she's like, those energy drinks. Yeah.

Oh, dude. My family, too. It was every little thing. They're like, well, and I don't really drink that many energy drinks anymore. Like, I don't in my regular day. Do you have one a day? No. Less than that. Less than. Yeah. Less than. How much less? You might be gem dough. Where's that? One every. I probably drink four a week. Probably.

I'm probably down to four a week. On top of coffee. On top of coffee and pre-workout and two coffees a day. At least. Right. No, Adam has 15 shots of espresso a day. Remember? We counted it. It was like 15 to 20 shots of espresso. It's not good. Total, total, total. Okay. Well, the doctor did say I should cut back. They always say that. And you are doing pre-workout? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm doing pre-workout. But they always say cut back on caffeine. I'm going to cut. I'm cutting back. I have. I only have had two cups of coffee today. That's it. Caffeined. Yes, but you do have a huge goblet of THC. But what are you drinking right now? No, this is a can. Oh, okay. You said it was GoJuice. Okay. Or PodSauce. What is that, though? That's a slowdown. That's a slowdown. You are doing uppers and downers, bro. Mm-hmm.

That's what you survive on. That's not good. That's where your brain cells... Dr. Kyle! No, the doctor basically said it was totally cool. No, the doctor did not. No, the Dr. Brozark was like, yo...

Listen, fam, that's all good. You got to get up to get down. You're talking to the guy who shed a fucking tear. I appreciate your tear, Kyle. I really, really do. I shed a tear right out of my wonky eye, bro. It just went like bloop. I got to keep it honey. We should get that checked out. I asked the doctor about that. He wants to look at it. Which one? What, my eye? The optometrist. Yeah, he's like that. He might have had a stroke.

Me? Wow. Yeah. I'm on the pickleball court. I'm good, dude. I'm sweating every day. I'm good, boy. Hey, man, there's levels to this shit, you know? Damn. There's levels to this stroking. I know. Well, dude, the thing is, is some of this stuff, it's not even like your choices, whatever you ingest, is a part of it. But some of it is just like, it just fucking happens. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like a clogged artery in your brain or whatever. Yeah, yeah. That's where I went was like, I wasn't...

I wasn't really like, I was like, yeah, he has horrible habits and stuff. He seems healthy. But I was like, oh, maybe this is one of those things where it's like, you have no control. Yeah. Mad at me was like the goddamn Zeke will.

It's the Zeke will! And they yelled at me about Zeke will. I'm like in a hospital bed, FaceTiming them. He's yelling at me about Zeke will. He also is having teeth issues. So he has like half of his teeth are just gone on this side. Yeah, that's an issue. He's waiting for a dentist to come and replace. It was like a bridge or something. So he looks insane. And he talks like this because he does it. So he's just like, the goddamn Zeke will!

It's the sequel, Rammers! And I'm like, I can't take you seriously, dude. You have no teeth. So I had to ask the doctors about the sequel and they all...

laughed, said the Z-Quil has nothing to do with it. That shit's important. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. That's bullshit. I'm going to call bullshit on the doctors. I'm going to call bullshit on the doctors. You don't think that I asked the doctors about Z-Quil? No, I think you did. And I think the doctors also said that. And I think that that's fucked up because they can't give you... They're not giving you an actual reason as to what happened to you medically. So they cannot say that that is not...

That's not involved. They said maybe it's a migraine. Well, they think it is a migraine because... So there's no fucking science experiment here. They're wrong. They might be right about the migraine. God, I hope they're right. I hope I didn't just have a stroke. I mean, me too, bro. But they can't say that that doesn't

it's not a they can't bro this is your body dude and we've moved on from the groin or i mean did he suck on your balls no one sucked on my balls and i went back to the doctor i'm like just this week is fucking bizarre because now i'm just going to now my guy just goes to doctors all the time i haven't been for like fucking years that's how that works went back the other day yeah exactly

If you don't fix up your home, your home starts to fall apart. Or your car. It's so funny. I think because I'm so not uncomfortable about whipping my dick out. What? Sure. You're too comfortable or not comfortable? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable. I don't care. It doesn't matter. No, I'm saying are you too comfortable? Maybe. Like you come in with that out.

The doctor told me yesterday, he's like, okay, well, let's see it. And there's like a little 24-year-old. You say, okay, well, let's see it. Let's see it. Like 24-year-old physician's assistant in there taking notes. And I'm like, I guess this is just part of it. Do not come. And I just start whipping it out. Did you jot this down? Do not come. She immediately became so uncomfortable and was like, I'll just wait outside. Ha, ha, ha.

Whoa, really? Yeah, and like ran outside. So you get right back in here. It's science. And I was like, oh, yeah, I probably should have excused her. I didn't even think about it. The doctor. And I'm like, oh, yeah, probably. I didn't think about it either. And this poor girl just, you know, I almost whipped it out of her. She's in a medical. I don't know. It used to be that way. Hey, you better get used to seeing this. I feel like she should have just been like, I'm learning. I'm going to be in here. Yeah.

I'm going to be in here and my dick is going to be out because there's shit going wrong downstairs. Hang on a second. Here's my question, though. Legitimately. Legitimately.

Okay. Let's A. Let's get legitimate. Ders is getting legitimate. Let's get legitimate. Let's get legitimate. So she is- Legitimately. A practicing physician or physician in training. Probably on an internship or something. Yes. Are we really at a point where a person in that position shouldn't feel comfortable seeing somebody's body? Completely agree with you. Well, I was rock hard. I was rock hard. Even more so. Oh.

I'll be your mom. Then how did anybody fit in the room? Bully. But you know what I'm saying? I'm going to come. I mean, I'm with you. I'm with you. And that's why I didn't feel that uncomfortable. And I wasn't even uncomfortable until she was like, I got to go. That's what I'm saying is that if...

What I'm saying is not you. I'm saying people who are the physicians. Isn't it their job to be like, this is what it is. This is it. It doesn't matter. Yes, it is, Anders. You are correct. We're getting into this weird context of things where it's like... I feel like privacy now is such a big thing. That's my point. It's gone too far. Well, Ders, we kind of covered it when we talked about gynecologists. I think it's like people don't trust...

like it's, it's a little bit of going both ways. Like doctors are kind of like, I want to respect you because I could be a creep. So I will, I feel uncomfortable. I think if you're in the medical profession and you're in that room and you're talking about it, you should not be like, while the dick is out, you should not be like, Oh my God,

God, I need to leave. You should just be like, okay. Holy shit! Yeah, you should just be like, okay, the dick's out. I'm gonna learn something. Yeah, but you can't just walk into the doctor office and spread your butt cheeks and be like, what's up with my hemorrhoids? What's my age again? If you're going...

If you're going there for that, you can. Yes. What's my age again? Read the rings. No, but Adam went in for blindness and then he whipped his dick out. So, of course, she's going to go, whoa. No, he went in for groin. No, these are two separate. I went in for a groin. Yeah, this was a groin inspection. Told them about my blindness. Went to the hospital. And then a separate day, I was discharged from the hospital the previous day on Saturday. Discharge. Discharge.

What did I say? Do not come. Discharge. You're talking about dicks and discharging. Discharge. It was cool. It was sexual. Oh, discharge, yeah. Yeah, it was sexual, yeah. Couldn't help himself. This is 100. And then yesterday, I went to the doctor. So on Monday, I went into the doctor and was like, hey, I went in for this groin thing and then told you about my blindness and we never addressed the groin thing. Right. Right.

So let's, can someone look at my nuts? I can say, well, pull it in for my, I went in for my dick doesn't work. And all I got was this stupid migraine. Yeah. There's the merch. Someone else will make what sucks is it was raining outside. It was like port, like torrential downpour. Of course. Right. So I'm like, my dick was so small. It was small, dude. And the balls were so small. Uh,

that wait, rain, rain, rain's the indicator. Dude. Yeah. Rain. Sometimes sunshine will do it. Uh, wait, is that rain or humidity? No wind, hail, heavy wind. No, my clothes were like soaked. It was, it was like a, a, a true storm. So you were cold. You were, yeah, it was really cold. And,

Sometimes light will just make it itself. Yeah. Storms that come in my body is retreating into itself. Any sort of light will make mine go away. But he couldn't... The right nut, I'm convinced, is a little swollen and...

The coil where the semen is on the backside of the nut, I think, is enlarged. The oil or coil? Coil. Let me get in there. Coil. It's the vas deferens, right? Isn't it what leads to the vas deferens, or it is the vas deferens? Yeah, maybe. They say it's like a little bag of worms. Let me get in there. It felt a little swollen to me, but my nuts were too sunken into my body because I was so cold that he could barely... So Chloe's no longer to suck on your bag of worms? She couldn't.

She couldn't suck on the back of worms. Oh, I'm so sorry. She couldn't suck the bait bag. So the doctor couldn't even get a good feel. It sucked. And I kept being like, it's really cold. And he's like, yeah, dude, it's raining. I'm trying to get a grip over here. And we're having an awkward conversation about...

How he couldn't grab a hold of her. He's coaxing it out like a little scared animal. Come on. Come on. Now it understands. Now it understands. She's like, okay, I should leave. Now that makes total sense. She's shaking the doorknob trying to get out. Why is this locked?

Get me out of here. I hadn't pulled it out yet. I was just in the unbuckle zip phase. Right. I'm going to go. You hit play on like an R. Kelly song on your phone and you're like, are we doing this? Well, that'll get her out of the room too. Yeah.

There is caffeine in this one. Caffeine in can? In can there is? Allegedly. In this one because this is the mate. Allegedly. I wonder why I like this one the best. Oops. Oh, my God. You're out of your mind. Just go blind. Yeah. Caffeine constricts blood vessels. Right?

Yeah, then you have blood vessels in your brain. Are you sure that this physician's assistant wasn't drawing a picture of your penis? Do you know that for sure? I don't know that for sure. Probably the right. She seemed like a sweet person and wanted to respect my privacy. Respect my privacy. Nucky Grandma! Please. Please.

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There's a little pivot. I never watched that show. Before you went blind, what was the last image you saw? I never, ever watched that show. Don't spoil it. I just watched it last year. This, I think, is the fifth time I've seen it. The whole thing? Yeah. Don't spoil it. Chloe hasn't. Do you like it that much? Yeah, I love it. I think it's great.

It's a good comfort show for me because I've seen it so many times I could just have it on and tune in. Kind of know where we're at. Please don't spoil it for me. Please don't spoil it. I haven't seen it. There's ducks. That's season one. I'm not going to tell you what it is. It does have the greatest ending to a show ever. It's the biggest fuck you episode.

I laughed so hard when it ended. I was like, oh, this is amazing. I can't even remember. I can't remember what the ending is. Oh, yeah. It is a great ending. It's okay. You could spoil it. I'm never going to watch it if you want to talk about it. I don't want to spoil it for everyone else at home. What do you mean spoil it? The show came out like 20 years ago. If you didn't watch it by now, fuck off. I know, but people, I just watched it, so...

Okay, fine. It ends like this. He's in a restaurant with his family. They're kind of like... They've been on the outs. Everyone's fighting. They're on the fritz. And they're finally sitting down at a restaurant for a good meal. But then there's these people who start coming in and maybe or maybe not eyeballing... And that's the cast of Seinfeld. Yes. Maybe or maybe not eyeballing Gandolfini, who's becoming...

uh hyper uh anxious about like people double crossing him is he gonna get killed is he not and then just in the middle of a moment it cuts to black yeah and then it's gone oh like it's just saying it just continues or something is that what it's in place yeah yeah you don't you don't know what happened it's up to you to so it's a non-ending that's fucking that's so stupid that's

That's not stupid. But, dude, it is not even after a moment. It is in the middle of a moment that it just goes, and the lights are out. Yeah, I get what they're saying. I liked it. I thought it was kind of cool. I get what they're saying. I love it. I think it's hilarious. Yeah. I like shit like that. I actually like it, too. Dude, I like when movies end sad. I like when movies just end abruptly. That shit, I fucking dig it. I like funny movies. I like movies with action. Yeah.

I like the gigs. I like the wah-wahs. I like when it's dramatic. You guys are well aware. I like when there's sort of like a fantasy element. Don't tell me what I am. You guys know that there are like a lot of audience members get very pissed if it's not a happy ending, if shit isn't tied up. That's frowned upon. You can't blow up a dog in your movie. People will get mad. Hello. We did have to rewrite the end of Game Over Man because it was a little bit sad.

Even when the heroes immediately murdered that man. Dude, I like it when shit ends sad. Life ends sad, bro. How do you guys feel about this? Movies have become so formulaic. Like, there's one way to write a movie now, essentially. Mm.

For executives to be... Go off. Yeah, for the studio system, yes. Go off for the studio system. Including fucking streamers, yes. And it fucking sucks because you're like, okay, so this is the point where they just say outright the whole thing that's missing from their lives. We're going to have the sentence here that they're going to say late. There's so many boxes that need to be checked now so audiences feel satisfied.

And I just watched that Guillermo del Toro movie from last year called Nightmare Alley. Oh, yeah. I didn't see that. I meant to see that. Did you guys watch it? I meant to see that. No, I didn't. I haven't checked it out. It's fucking cool. It's really good. Wow. I like something. This is huge. This is huge. Where did you watch it? Where can I see it? On airplane. Okay. But it made me uncomfortable because it's so non-formulaic. I'm like, where's the fucking beat?

And nobody watched it. Nobody liked it or not liked it, but nobody kind of... It wasn't a critical... Yeah, it wasn't a huge thing. It wasn't like a popular success because it wasn't the cliche movie. Homeboy jumped off, though. Who's Homeboy? Blake, who's Homeboy? The guy who plays Kang the Conqueror now. He's a very good actor. What the freaking heck is his name, though? I don't know. From Nightmare Alley? Yeah. I like movies...

with cool actors in it. He's a very good actor. I'll look up Nightmare Alley. I'll see who it is. But Willem Dafoe is in it. He's amazing. Oh, he jumped off. Bradley Cooper, who like... Oh, Bradley Cooper jumped off. I'm not like a huge Bradley Cooper guy, but I liked him in it. Jonathan Majors. Oh, yeah. Who's John Majors?

She's a fucking up next, bro. Okay. All right. Yeah. Well, he's in that. Sure. But anyway, like I just, and if you watch a movie from like the seventies or from another country, like where they're, they don't have to answer to all these executives who are like, well, wait, where's the callback thing that we set up? And,

It will blow your mind. You're like, wait, movies can be this? And it's so refreshing. And that's like you watch a movie from the 80s or early 90s before everything was so formulaic. And you're like – even now where I grew up with those movies and I liked them and never had a problem with them when I was a kid watching that stuff. And then now I'm like, God.

God damn, get to it. Because we've been trained. Conditioned. And it sucks. Yeah. It sucks. I get it. It fucking sucks. It's the worst. I just read a script. Nice, dude. I'm not going to say what the script is, but I just read a script that I had read three years ago. But I just sent you. No, no, no. It's not yours. It's not yours. But I read it three years ago, and then the pandemic hit, and it got bounced around from studio to studio to studio. And just like everybody's injecting their notes.

And it was cool when I read it three years ago. When I just picked it up, I was like, what are all of these fucking... This is not correct. Like, this is too much to absorb up top. I'm watching the movie to learn this stuff. I'm not watching the movie to hear it

to hear everybody be so aware of their character arcs. Right. It's like, what the fuck? But they have to say it because the number one note, and guys, if you're listening now, this is episode 100 where we tell you we hate life. Screenplay talk. I got to keep it 100. Every executive's like...

their big whole thing is uh we want the audience can never not know what's going on and it's like the fuck are we talking about yeah i fucking hate that shit episode 100 we keep it 100 man well so what is that do you think that is a response to people thinking the audience is dumb as shit or that the audience through fits with like movies like ending uh

not on a happy note or no it's a bow it's both it's both i think that people think audiences are dumber than they are and i think sometimes audiences are dumb yes sometimes audiences are dumb and they want to reach everybody they don't want it to just be some people they want everyone to get it i'm also gonna say that it's the executives themselves yeah but and they're trying to cover their asses it's the executives themselves inserting themselves i'm not gonna say that i'll say that i think executives rock

The executives themselves inserting themselves into the creative process in a way that is not needed. And he never worked again. Did you say and he never worked again? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I just miss movies for guys who like movies. Thank you, Adam. Somebody say it. I just miss movies for guys who like movies. Are you just quoting the script now? Yeah. Good. Movies for guys who like movies.

It was a hell of a time. I don't know, man. But like seeing movies, like I watched Jagged Chan. What the fuck was the cop? Cop? Copper? Or just, no, Supercop. Supercop. Supercop? The other day, I'm like, what is this? And even Kyle, hopefully you appreciate this as a director.

Even the language of directing now is so derivative and kind of like, let's check the box. Let's just do this. And you watch a movie from the seventies where they're kind of winging it. And you're like, Whoa, what's that shot? It actually kind of works better even though. Yeah. What they call it. I mean, in film or in television, it's like you have what your coverage, you know what I mean? You have to cover things. Different shots, different stuff. And it has become so formulaic that even in the industry, when you're on set,

people can say, give me the deli menu, like the regular coverage. So you can walk into a scene and know the deli menu and make that scene work, but it has no vision. It has zero vision. Maybe that's, it's for the good and the bad though, because I think if you give somebody, like maybe when people start to think too far out of the box, then you start to get movies that are just like, what the fuck am I even watching at this point? It does. What is that for you? Yeah. What's too far? Yeah.

Like it requires skill to be a good director, but if everybody coming into like, like a serious man, directing school is like, I'm super heady. I know. And then you watch their product and you're kind of like, but that's, but that's why,

Why, when you watch a film student's project, it's usually kind of incoherent and out there, but you need these fresh new young minds to take these swings so that you can get something fantastic as soon as they reel in their skill set and they sharpen their tools. Yay or nay, Kyle? Yeah, yeah, Blake. Yes, yay, yay.

Right? You don't want every film student to be like, hey, I got the deli menu. I'm done exploring the depths of filmmaking. There is a certain... It's also super annoying as an actor when you're like, you want a director that has a vision that isn't just going to do a million takes of coverage when you're like, you know you're not going to use that shot. It's just so when you get in the edit, an executive can't say...

Exactly. It's out of fear. It's built out of fear. It's not built out of a tour ship or built out of, out of like a vision, you know, it's not there. And I think it is sad. You do need to know these rules in order to break them. You should be. That's why film students fresh out of film school stuff. It doesn't click because they don't necessarily know the rules and they're already breaking all the rules. All right.

This is 100. You should know them before you break them. We're keeping it so 100 right now? Hey, sorry, industry.

Sorry, industry, fuck you, dude. Hey, bro. We're fucking done here. We're just putting in a check, dog. Hey, we're done here, man. Adam, when I heard you were dying, I'm like, fuck it, man. Fuck this industry, bro. I'm in the streets, okay? Dude. Seriously. I hate the deli menu, man. Give me a sloppy joe. Thank you. Sloppy joe. Sloppy joe. Cover me in all this weird shots. Give me don't mess with Zohan. But...

It's funny, man. Writing the Workaholics movie, I'm like, am I supposed to be hitting all these fucking boxes so it feels like every other movie right now? Or am I supposed to just write what I know we dig? You know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly. Does it turn it? That being said, definitely check all the boxes. I know. Check all the boxes.

Fuck you. Also, yeah. Give me the art, Anders. Give me the fucking art. 100. Too much funding for your money. Derzy, I would like to give some early flowers to you. Derz just gave us the first 56 pages of...

of our movie. Very exciting. Let's go. Ten more pages to go. And Jersey crushed it. I'm very happy. Very happy. Yeah, I can't wait to get to filming. Hey, listeners, we're going to give you guys a movie in at least a year and a half. At least. Hey, they wanted the update. They got the update. They got it. Two years from now.

Look, and maybe we're about to start shooting, and then fucking Adam's eyes go out, and we don't know what's going to happen. Or set his fucking worms fall out of the sack. Who knows? That's when I really start crying, bro. We can't make the movie? Adam's worms fell out of the sack? Well, I like doing this shit so much. I really love what we do. And I was talking with my dad, FaceTiming from the hospital bed, and I was like, man, it just sucks. I, you know.

If I can't see, I won't be able to still be an actor. Like, I won't be able to do all the things that I like to do. And he was like, but that... Okay, but you'll still be blind for your whole life. Right. And I'm like...

Okie dokie. Yeah, you're right. It does suck beyond just being an actor. It would suck for my entire life. But I know where you're coming from. This is your passion. This is what you wake up for. This is why you drink NyQuil at night. This is important. And caffeine. This is why I chug Red Bull during the day. The thing is, you can always do the podcast. Wow, it's a vicious cycle. Why you smoke weed. This is why you drink till you black out. Yeah.

It's a vicious, vicious cycle. There's gotta be blind actors though, right?

There's not many of them, I wouldn't think. There has to be, though. I can't think of one. I think these corporations need to start including some blind actors, or I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Was there a blind actor? I never saw Coda, but was it blind or deaf? No, that's deaf. No, they were all deaf. They're deaf, okay. I think that's the way to go. If you're going to have an impairment, I think deaf...

There's been a couple movies about that now. Yeah, you can still get your Academy Award. CODA stands for Children of Deaf Adults. Oh. And it's also a musical reference because it's a music movie. Was the homie in that scary movie actually blind or no? Remember that movie about the blind guy? Oh my God, dude. That was Dude from Avatar. Love that guy. What the fuck was that movie called? I don't know. Y'all were gelling. What is this? Was it called Be Quiet? Be Quiet.

Oh, yes. Oh, where he had like the spoiler where he had the person in the basement and locked him in a cage. Yeah. Well, they're sneaking around his house. Yes. So the premise is there's a blind guy who these kids think like has millions of dollars and they're going to go into his house to rob him. When they get in there, they find out, oh, this dude was like a tactical Marine back in the day. Yeah, he was like ex-Marine. Yeah. And because he's blind, he can hear better and he can smell better. Yeah.

I love that. How real is that shit, by the way? The movie is amazing. The movie's called Don't Breathe. Don't Breathe. Because he can hear your breath. Don't Breathe. Yeah, that was a really good movie. Be quiet!

Yeah. Like how real do we think that stuff is? Like I'm sure it's heightened a little bit. The movie? Oh, no. Senses? The senses. Like if you lose your eyesight, would I suddenly be able to smell? You've watched Daredevil, right? You've seen Daredevil? Your farts, I'm like, oh, Jesus. You can hear heartbeats. Oh, what'd you do, man? Spicy Cheetos? What is that? You're like, that's exactly what I ate. Through the internet, you can smell? Dude, I...

If you could smell through the internet. I would assume. Just imagine what your sense of feel would be at that point. Oh, God. Here we go. My goodness. Let your fingers do the walking. I think I would rather have... I mean, I'm a director of visual guy, but I think I would rather lose my sense of vision.

You want no vision? I think I would rather lose my vision and go audio. Why? Well, then you couldn't ever work again. If you're deaf, you could still work. No, I mean, I can work in radio and stuff. No, no, no. He would team up with someone and he would say, I want the shot like this. And they'd be like, just do it.

Just do the deli menu. Just do the deli menu. I'll be sitting over here. You know directing is fucking easy as fuck. You just say deli menu and the movie's done. Did we do that extreme close-up? Yeah, we got it. What do you mean, Kyle? You could do radio. What does that mean? You'd be like a DJ? The movie radio? Great movie. A lot of filmmaking...

A lot of filmmaking and pacing and stuff is based on what you're hearing anyways. Like a lot of it is that. So like, I think I would rather have that.

I would rather have that tool than the visual tool. Is it Woody Allen who doesn't? It's a ton. Somebody does listen. They just listen for the rhythm. Yes, exactly. Especially in comedy. But that doesn't make sense to me because you're going to edit later anyway. So what are they doing? They're just being extra. They're doing the rhythms. They're doing rhythms. It's called iambictameter. I know, but the rhythm doesn't exist then and there. The rhythm exists in the bay, the edit bay.

The bae, baby. A-bae-bae. If you're a theater director, I totally understand it. Well, I don't know, dude. If you can get a scene to really work, there's rhythm in it. If a well-written scene can be very rhythmic, especially in comedy. I don't disagree. Okay. Sure. In like a multicam, for sure. But like, you know where I'm coming from as far as like single camera, like. Yeah. Oh.

The rhythm can be there on the day, but it doesn't matter. But again, though, you're banking on the deli menu here. What if you have a shot and you need to get it done in the shot? The rhythm is super important. What do you mean? Like it's just a two shot? Yeah. What if you just want to do it like that? That's your shot. Then you got to get the rhythms right. It doesn't matter because the executive's right there saying, I want coverage.

Kyle, but if you can't see, you can't line up the shot. The cinematographer can. Well, sure, but... Cinematographer? I'm just saying, I think I could still work. He's been calling it cinematographer. I don't think I could work if I didn't have my ears. Sure. Okay, so Kyle is going sight. Are you what...

The five senses, what would you guys go without? Oh, wow. I was just going deaf or blind. I wasn't doing five. Taste. Taste. Oh, well, taste is 100%. How ripped could you get if you couldn't taste anything? I know. Couldn't taste anything? Come on. Yeah, I'd lose that. That's not fair. That's not what I was thinking. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Let's just go deaf or blind then. Deaf or blind. Deaf or blind. Thank you. Deaf.

I don't need to hear anything, to be honest. But to not see things... So you want your vision. And by the way, we rely more on sight than we do on our ears, for sure. You do now. Yeah. What?

Because you got them both. But if you get rid of one, you're going to realize. But then you can't hear music anymore. Music is so essential. Exactly. Like, how can you live without? That's fine. You can feel it. You can feel vibrations. How can you live without music? You just sit. It's like that. It's like private parts. The Howard Stern movie. Yeah. You just sit on the speaker, dude, and crank it up. Feel the vibrations. I hear that. I hear that. I think there is some validity to that. Still got you feeling?

You got your feeling there? Well, yeah. I mean, we still got our feeling, so it's all G. We still got our feeling. I should be sitting on a subwoofer right now, bro. Dude, we should do that one day. We should be sitting on subs. I'm 100%.

Because, you know, I thought about this over the weekend when I thought I was having strokes and going blind. I was like, I first... Did you beat off in the hospital? I did not beat off in the hospital, no. Wait, sidebar. We'll revisit that. I thought about it. I was alone a lot. Because Chloe's not here. You know, I had no one to, like, hang out with. I was like, well, maybe I just...

But then I'm like, I don't want to get it. I don't want them to knock on the door and then eight people walk in and I'm in the middle of a crank sesh. I'm going to come. So, you know. I'm closing my eyes. Moving on.

So I didn't. Moving on. But I was thinking, for sure I would want to keep my eyesight because, you know, you have kids. You want to watch them grow. You want to see the person that you're in love with. Don't you want to hear him sing, though? Thank you. Haven't you seen Coda? You put your fucking hand on the throat. Coda, you're right. I just, Coda. Yeah, you're right, dude. You're right. I guess I'm just like, can you imagine not even knowing? And by the way, people listening who know blind people, maybe they know better than this, but like,

And I'm not trying to fucking make their lives sound horrible, but you don't even know what people look like. When you touch their face. But you can touch them. Yeah. Yeah, you can touch them. I know, but I'm talking about like... Yeah, but in COVID times? No, you can't. Yeah. No, you can't. You can fist pound them. Put on some gloves. Put on some gloves. Dang. Thank you, Adam, with COVID. In COVID times? And I guess I understand that like...

People look like what we can see, right? Obviously, there's other dimensionalities. So if you can't see them, you see differently. Thank you. I've got to keep it a hundred. I've been closing my eyes. I've been closing my eyes for the last minute and a half. And I feel I'm hearing better. To not know what a Chinese Sharpay looks like.

But you can feel the Sharpay. Can you imagine? You can feel it. But it's very rough to the touch. But imagine you don't know a Sharpay is around, right? And then it gets off the leash. Well, first of all, I'm going to hear that Sharpay. This Sharpay just comes and you don't see an owner anywhere because you can't.

And all of a sudden, a fucking Sharpay is right next to you. I would hear it coming first of all. You wouldn't know what the fuck it was. You're like, what is this? You're actually startled by it. You're like, it could be a Gremlin. Yes, you kick the Sharpay in the face because you're terrified. Yeah, I think if you have no sight, you're going to be trusting the world.

that much more. You know what I mean? Oh, you tell that to Ray Charles. Yeah, see? Okay. Yeah. My God, that's super scary. I'm into it. I mean, I'm not wishing it upon myself. Well, if you don't have sight, you have to be led around everywhere. It's more of a burden on other people, on your loved ones. I feel like if you can't hear, you could still do most things.

You know what I mean? You could still drive a car. You could still walk. But you're not hearing that Sharpay roll up on you. The first thing that's happening is you're seeing a Sharpay that's in your lap. It's the same shit. Right. The little claws on the floor. Kyle, but when you look down, you see a Sharpay. You don't think a fucking...

gigantic mutant hedgehog is running up on you and is... I'm not thinking that either. I don't think I'm thinking that, right? Maybe I am, but I'm over it quickly because I'm like... Well, you don't know. It's this big, wrinkly, sort of hairless beast. I'm over that quickly because I'm like, what is this? And I can hear somebody say it's a Sharpay.

Or I can hear the dog bark. If you're listening and not watching, Kyle's had his eyes closed for the last several minutes for some reason. I'm just feeling it. I'm just feeling it. I mean, I'm just feeling it. What are you feeling? Yeah, what are you feeling right now? What is it? It's hard to keep my eyes closed for this long. You've been being stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

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Let me say this, though, because this was one of my favorite things is when Jamie Foxx was filming Ray, they put like prosthetics over his eyes to just keep him close or whatever. And he started freaking out because he was just like he lost sense of like where he was, his equilibrium and all that. Yeah. And then just a couple of days ago gave us the greatest Donald Trump impression of all time.

God. Both things related. Did you guys see that shit? That was really good, yeah. God, he is so talented. Amazing. Excuse me. I feel like I liked Jamie Foxx before I met Anders, and then after meeting Anders, I become a huge Jamie Foxx fan. Yeah. You're in the Fox hole? Yeah. He's all the way in there. I'm so in the Fox hole, man. The guy's the best. He is. He's our best.

The Trump impression that they posted the other day, if you saw it, it's the best one there is. And it's fucking crazy. It is. If your whole thing is impressions, aren't you just kind of pissed that there's also another guy who on the side can do it better than you and then gets Oscars? Yeah, and he could do it better than you and then also can dance better than you, looks better than you, is a great singer. He can play the piano. Also has his own...

pickleball paddle. By the way, I like how Adam's like, his dancing, his looks, those are the first things I think of. He has his own pickleball paddle. Oh, really? He has his own pickleball paddle? You can buy the Jamie Foxx pickleball paddle. Yes. Are you serious? I swear. You're not fucking with us? Almost.

I'm not fucking with you, dude. Yeah, I don't know what company puts it out, but I saw it on the IG. So good. Is it real? It was maddening. Maddening. Okay. Damn, yeah. So wait, after taste, what's the next sense to go? Touch? Yeah.

Smell. No, smell. Oh, those are kind of... Smell might even be one. Interesting. Oh, yeah. Smell could go before taste. But once you lose smell, you lose taste. Smell is most of taste, isn't it? Yeah. So it's taste, smell. Still can taste, but it's not as flavorful, right? I like that. It's not as flavorful.

Is it right? I don't know. Seems real. I don't know. What did COVID do? Did it take away your smell or just your taste? Both. I think it was both for you, bitch. Yeah. It was definitely me as well. You lost your sense of taste and smell? Mm-hmm. And how was that? This is the way. It sucked. I couldn't taste or smell at my wedding. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like everyone was like, oh, the food's great. And I'm like...

I bet. I'm drunk. You're like, hey, the food's great. I'm drunk. I'm black. I'm just chugging tequila because I can't taste it. This water's delicious. It's like water. Yeah, this water's good. This goes on quick. No ice in these little cups of water, huh? Okay. Ugh. Ugh.

And everybody take a sip of your beverage and let's get back. In Mexico. A little water break over here. Hey, we're taking another water break? Okay. Adam, you got to take a water break. You got to hydrate, brother. I'm at it. All right. Let me get another shot of water. I don't know. I guess they put all their water in these glass bottles and then they poured them in these tiny little water glasses. Because you're blind? Because you're also blind.

I got the long haul COVID. I'm deaf. I'm blind. I can't see or smell. Blackout. Only have touch. Blake, are you in town right now? Yes, sir. Are you in LA? Yes, sir. I was hoping, I mean, the Malibu Triathlon.

Is in a couple weeks? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do it. Should you guys run it? Wait, what? Oh, my God. Good job. You're just saying you're going to do it or you're training? I'm training. I started training 10 days ago. Hey, don't be a bitch, Blake. 10 days? That's all I need to get on track? Yes. Yeah. You're a runner. Don't be a bitch. Just run a triathlon. What up, bitch? If Adam was in town, this dude's a cycling madman. Yeah, dude. I know Blazers out there just running miles. Yeah.

And I was like, we could win the celebrity relay for sure. You think? Oh, you can do relay? Yeah. What could I do? Tech ball. And you can wait for us at the finish line with your pickleball. What could I do? You can make snacks. You want me to film it? Yeah. You can bring orange slices. You break out a pickleball game at the finish line. Yeah. It's called a triathlon. You could try and show up. Yeah, bro. Yeah.

But Kyle, just to be clear here, Blake is a runner and Adam does cycle and I have swimming in my background. I know, I know, I know. It was clear. I stepped in there for a joke, a little Josher. You know what I mean? It's not a joke, Kyle. There's truth in comedy though, isn't there? A lot. And I did feel left out. How do you like that rhythm? Yeah, the rhythm was good.

And all I'm saying is that if we are all in town next year, because it doesn't look like it's going to happen this year, let's do this. Let's throw down. That would be fantastic. Dude, I didn't even know that was a thing. What's the mileage? What's the distances that you got to do on a triathlon? So this is what drives me crazy. So there's like a celebrity one. I'm the coach. That's like a shorter distance, but not that much shorter. I think it's like 800 meter swim, like an 18 mile bike, and then a four point something mile run. Oh.

Cake. I know. That's what I'm saying. 18 miles. I got that. I do that every damn day. Yeah, this is nothing. I'm going to do the Olympic distance, which is 1.5K swim, 30K bike, 10K run. What is 30K? What is that? It's 24.8 miles biking. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's doable. Yeah. Dude. Are you swimming in the ocean? That's right. There's been some great white shark sightings coming around, and I'm not feeling that. Whoopsie.

No, that's scary. Nah. You're good, dude. I'm gearing up. I'm getting some wetsuits and all that stuff. Wow, this is sick, man. Yeah, that is cool. Get some chain mail. Are you in great shape right now? I can't tell if that jaw's drooping or not. I think it's pretty tight. It's okay, yeah. It seems like you're lean-ders right now. I'm all right. Yeah, he's on cam. He's on cam. Yeah, usually I don't do any camera work. No, but I've been doing some swimming and some running and some cycling.

Nice. But I like will have only trained for three some weeks for this. But I'm saying relay. I love it. Damage. Dude. We would kill people. Let's hop in. Well, I think we could. Well, Adam's gone, huh? Damn. Yeah. When is it? When is it? Tell me. I'm coming home in a few weeks. I think it's on the 17th of September, I think. I think I'm home. Are you? Let's do it. Stop it. I think I'm home. Stop it. Okay. So Nautica Malibu Triathlon, we're fucking coming for you. Yeah.

Yeah, baby. I'm going to do it on my own the day before, but if we get our shit together for that Sunday when it's like the celebrity joint, we're going to smoke fools. Yes. That'd be so sick. That's a good call. Like your boy, Zac Efron. I don't know if he's doing it this year, but I know his brother does it with my homie, Connor Dwyer, who's like an Olympian dude, a swimmer guy. They might be getting a relay together. I think we can fucking smoke those guys. Oh.

Okay, now I'm getting worried. I don't know. Yeah, now I'm getting worried. Yeah, it's not so much of a shoe wheel. I had high hopes. Just an Olympian and a legit professional triathlete and Zac Efron, who's not in really good shape. Yeah, we're fucked. We're already in second place. Yeah, you lost the gold, baby. I just heard Steve Howey's putting together a team. We're fucked. Oh, dude. I talked to Howey. I talked to Howey. Dude, you know the cast of Arrow is going to get a squad together and just do it.

Teen Wolf. Teen Wolf's about to tear it up. You're referencing shows from 10 years ago. They're still strong. Those guys are not strong anymore. They're still going, dude. Come on. I know Tyler Posey's still buff as fuck, bro. He's out here. There's no doubt in my mind. You guys are toast. They just did a movie for Paramount+. We're next. Teen Wolf did? Yeah, you're toast. Teen Wolf did. How was it? Formulaic? Did not...

Yeah, we got to see that. What if they really switch it up? That'd be sick. Right, with Jackie Chan. Ooh, Operation Condor. This is a, and I'm just throwing it out. What was the boo? Remember the boo, like the internet sketch comedy? That was the Lonely Island. That was their Channel 101 show. That was Channel 101. I need to revisit that. That was kind of like their jump off or what? Well, they won. They won like months in...

months in a row because that's what it was. Yes, they were crushing it. What did they win? They won Channel 101. That's what I was saying. It was Dan Harmon. And what was Channel 101? So explain what Channel 101 is. Channel 101 was Dan Harmon and Schraub and maybe, I don't know who else was involved, but it was... Rob Schraub, the homie, directed some episodes of Workaholics. Jack Black? Oh, Jack Black, of course. And they had this, was it once a month? Yeah. You would screen your...

An episode from your web series. And if it was funny enough and you won, you made the next episode of that web series. Right. The Boo was famously the Lonely Island. Like reigning champion. And it was a spoof on those MTV shows. On the OC. It was a spoof on OC. Where was it held? It was somewhere in Hollywood. I remember we went one time and we were like, oh.

This is so cool. Oh my God. Thank you, God. It was one of those you found your people moments. Yeah. It was cool. Because they had Yacht Rock, didn't Harmon? Harmon had Yacht Rock that reigned supreme for a while. Do you guys remember that? Was Harmon part of Yacht Rock? I thought so. I can't remember exactly. I can't remember anything. I'm blind.

I'm blind. This is a deep one. I'm pretty sure that Yacht Rock, the comedy sketch comedy show or whatever, that was the first time Yacht Rock was ever said. I think they coined that phrase. I actually thought that too. Yeah, I think that's a thing now from them. Yes. I truly think that. I feel like I was saying it in eighth grade. Really? You were saying Yacht Rock in eighth grade? Yeah.

You're a cool dude. I said YOLO. You said YOLO? Yeah. You brought it up too, bro. I said CRUNK. I was saying CRUNK before Lil Jon said CRUNK. But it was you only lunch once because everyone's like, there's so many lunches. I go, no, you only lunch once. But it was still YOLO. I was like, dude, I go, remember, how am I supposed to remember there's only one lunch? I'm like, YOLO, you only lunch once. And they go, sick, dude. Yes, points! Woo!

And then you gave people points. I actually was the first person to say yes points. But this, that was about something else too. Is 100, baby. It's also important. That was about like fingers. I was talking about, they were like, what are these? Like, can we do this? I go, yes. What are those? Wait, you had, what are those? I'm like,

you were damn daniel they actually i met the guy who said what are those and i go those are fingers and he started doing this i go yes points um they point damn daniel yeah and i he was like cool damn daniel i go it's pronounced anders oh my god

Then he said, let's go. We got any take backs, apologies, epic slams, flowers. Wow. Was this 100? Man. This is 100, baby.

Yeah, I want to apologize to the fans for not doing anything remotely special. But guess what, man? My friend almost died. So give me a fucking break. The worms. Turns out I didn't almost die. I thought I almost died. The worms almost came out of his sack. My nutsack still hurts. Still got to get that figured out. I'm telling you, let me in there. The back brain.

The low brain. The low worm sack. That's right. We got two heads, two brains, right? Right, Blake? Yeah. The low brain is malfunctioning. 100. And I kept being like, it has to be connected. It has to be like the pain that I'm experiencing from my nut sack caused me to go blind. The dick pain is connected to the skull bone. For sure. And they're like, yeah, that's what I thought. And everyone was like, no. Who's everyone? You're listening too much to Western medicine. Yeah.

How many doctors are in there when you whipped your dick out, dude? We got to know. Was it 10? You have to be your own. Bring them all. Bring them in. No, just the one doctor. Just the one doctor. But the doctors. Adam, if you believe they're connected, follow that lead, bro. Go. Yeah. Go. Listen to your body. Go. You're your best advocate. Well, I'm going to try to get the nutsack figured out. I'm in the process of trying to figure that out. Good luck. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. When it comes to health. Yeah, let me take a look. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out for you. I'll figure that out. Good luck.

I'll figure that one out. If you can't figure it out, I'll figure it out. Yeah, I guess what would mine be? A shout out or whatever?

Adam, that was legitimately scary. It was a reality check. It was. It really was. You know, we take our health for granted. It's just fucking shit, dude. It shook me up a little bit, but I'm glad you're okay. Thank you, Blakey. Also, we're just, you know, it's the 100th episode. We're keeping it 100. Right. And go rate our podcast like five stars, whatever. If you're a listener to my nation. Yeah, dude. I'd like to.

a compliment leave a comment subscribe that is that we're so bad at saying subscribe and like other pod other podcasts mentioned to do that every podcast they're like hey if you like us subscribe like give us five stars hey let's boost the numbers man adam almost died man boost our numbers i almost fucking died man boost us up man

We never do that. I want to compliment Blake on turning that into a promotion for the podcast because we are 100 episodes deep. We did not stop when I thought we would. We're in it. We are an institution. We are in it. So let's like and subscribe out there. Hit the subscribe button, click that bell, and get yourself a notification when it comes out.

If you're still listening, if you're loyal TII Nation, go. Finger blast that subscribe button. Get us up those charts. We want to be number one. We're going for number one. Yeah, we want to be close to it. I'd be happy with top 20. Are we top 20 anymore? We want to be number 20. No, we're so far down. We're not even in the top 100 anymore. Here's my question.

Get us in the 100. Who's above us and why? You guys tell us what we can do to improve. Is that what we do for the special episode? Because they do the deli menu. They do the deli menu, but we have twists and turns.

Our podcast is so good, dude. Yeah, you never know what the fuck we're going to talk about because we don't know. We have no idea what the hell we're going to talk about. I got to keep it 100. Exactly. This is pod jazz. This is pod jazz. Pod jazz, baby. Hey, listeners at home, slide into Kyle's DMs and tell us how we could improve the podcast. What do you hate about it?

What do you want more of? Hit me up. Definitely slide into his DMs. Hit me up. I'm always checking my Instagram. I'm always checking my DMs. So yeah, hit me up. Constantly looking at that stuff. Do you want us to answer questions from fans? Do you want us to interview people? Yeah, how can we do better? Do you want us to talk about porno more?

Pretend like you're a Hollywood executive and slide into my DMs and tell me how our show can work better. More porno talk, more jizz talk. Should we pick... Should I mention my wife sucking on my balls more or less? I'm going to hear about that. Yeah.

I'm going to hear about that one. Hey, so don't do that again. Yeah. That's cool. Hey, at least your wife still listens. Leave my name out. Adam's going to be hella quiet on the next episode. I'm going to hear about that.

What up, Adam? Doing good over here. I didn't hear about that one. Just watching more Sopranos. What'd you guys get into? Adam, favorite character from Sopranos? Big pussy. What changes every time...

I love Pussy. That cheating, lying rat bastard. Don't spoil it for me. I think probably Pauly Walnuts. I get a real kick out of him. He's super funny. Yeah, RIP. Great name. There's a character named Pauly Walnuts? Yeah, he's so sick. He just passed. And then also Chris. I really... His storyline is fucking great. Chris is the best. Pauly Walnuts and Chris. Wow.

I hear that. Chris, yeah. Dude, simple name, complex character. Complex character. Those are probably my two favorites. And then Tony, obviously. Tony's for sure the favorite, but that's whack just to go Tony. Blaze? I was a Pauly Walnuts guy as well, very. I don't even remember Pauly Walnuts. Really? He was the one with the streaks, the silver hair on the sides. His name was Pauly Walnuts? Yeah, he just. Yes. I just know it was Pauly. Well, who's your guy? Janice. Janice.

Okay. Let's go. Janice, Janice was like pound for pound scene for scene. Like she was the greatest character in that series for me. She did. Oh, I hate her. I mean, she would, she,

I know. Who is she? She's great. She's Tony's sister. She plays, she's Tony's sister and she's just a fucking. And she's so good. Every time she walks in the room, you're like, oh my fucking God. Yeah. You're like, she's going to do something. Bafangul. Bafangul.

Bafangul. But yeah, I'm a Janice guy. What's her actor name? What's her name? What's her real name? I don't know. There's no way to tell. Is it Hayden? I've only seen her there on that show. I think I worked with her on Shadow. Yeah, the show is weird where it's like, it's Edie Falco. Yes. And... I thought it was Eddie. Gandolfini. And those are the only two people that you really knew from the show. Like, name-wise. No one else went on to do... Didn't Meadow...

Meadow went on to do some episodes of Honoraj. Come on. Honoraj. Don't forget that one dude is in. He said Honoraj. That one dude is in Bruce Springsteen's band, which is sick. Oh, yeah. Bro, you're talking about. And he did Lillehammer. You're talking about Aida Tuturo. That's John Tuturo's. That's John Tuturo's. What? Holy crap.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. I worked with her on Shadows. She was in an episode of Shadows that I did and she is fucking awesome. Oh, great. Like the best. Love her. Love her so much. She is next level on that show. So that checks out. Wow.

She's next level in real life. She's awesome. I like that, Ders. That is a deep cut. I think it's just because I hate her on the show so much. The reason she wasn't top of mind. But she plays a great, not even villain, just like a person that it's so real. Like a person that you have in your life that you can't cut out of your life. They're in too deep. Yes. But you're like, jeez, every time they're around, you're like, Jesus Christ. Yes.

You're going to make this worse no matter what the situation is. And this actress always, you can see the wheels turning in her. Just off of little looks, you're like, oh my God. She's fantastic. Someone else says something and then they cut to her looking and you already know what she thinks. Yeah, she's great, man. So good. She's great. And the fact that she's John Turturro's sister, I don't know.

I think I know where John got all his moves from. John might be older than her. I gotta keep it a secret. That doesn't matter. He can still look at his little sister and go, oh, that's kind of cool. Still some moves. Blake, show the people our Blink-182 shirt. Is that on camera? Yeah, Blink-182, but that's us. And then what does the back say, Blakey? I like the old Blink-182. Blink-182.

And now what does that mean? That's official merch. It's already sold out. Shout out to Blink. Also, shout out to Baby Nooch for taking that photo. I'm going to give him flowers for snapping that on set. Hanging around right place with the camera. Got it. Good job, Banuch. And thank you, Blink182, for making my dreams come true. Honestly, love you guys. The old version. Kyle, did you want to mention the lookalike that I sent you?

You sent me a lookalike? Was it in my DMs? Or what do we call it? The doppelgangers? Dead ringer. I think I sent you a guy. The dead ringers. Dead ringers. The dead ringers. Who's my dead ringer? I sent you a guy doing a... Like and subscribe. Five stars, please. Like a motorcycle endo. That big guy. Oh.

Oh, that was such a sick-ass fucking move, bro. Yeah, I wish I could do that. It looked like a big-ass Kyle, though. He did like an endo-wheelie into a fucking 180 out. I don't even know how he did that shit. And be sure and follow our podcast on Instagram. We're going to post that right now. And go ahead, Blake. And that was the 100th episode of This is Important.

100 fucking buttholes. 100 fucking buttholes. I thought you were going to do that one, Blazer.

Attention listener, the super sexy hosts of This Is Important were unknowingly given some false information regarding Aida Turdaro during today's podcast. Aida Turdaro is, in fact, John Turdaro's cousin and not his sister. iHeartMedia apologizes for spreading this misinformation and any confusion it may have caused you. Apologies to all listeners of This Is Important.

And respect to the TII nation, aka the community. And a special shoutout to the arugaloids, the three-point stanzers, the border patrol, and the League of Extraordinary Assholes. Let's go.

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