Ep 102: The Best Part Of Waking Up Is Buzzballz In Your Cup
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... Ice cream sandwiches! Don't salute me, motherfucker! D.I.I. Nation, count me down, it's a breakfast buzz. I love you.

Here we go. Start your engines. Ring-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming. Good morning, GII Nation! 10-20, butthole. Give me a hell yeah! Hell yeah, bitch. Yeah, baby. This might be our earliest record yet. Not for Adam. Adam's in a different time zone. But Durs and myself...

Woo! You can still hear the fur in my voice. Hear the sleepies. How are we doing? It's 9 a.m. It's not squirrely early. And you guys have children, so I was thinking maybe that's a regular dad time to be up and about and moving and shaking. But no, you're still... This is when we go back to bed.

Yeah. Bears go back in the cave, baby. Catch a couple more Z's. And what is squirrely early? What is that? Squirrely early. Like for me, it's like 6 a.m. That's squirrely early. I agree. And then you get up. I've been having early calls all this week, so I'm wide awake.

Look at you go. Because I've been getting up at like 4 or 5 a.m. Dude, last week I was getting up at 3 something to get picked up at 4 a.m. for work. Hold up. That's terrible. Yucky, yucky. Because then we had to drive an hour to get to where we were and we were filming outside. So we needed that daylight. Oh, God.

Daylight dependent bitch chasing daylight. And then I just got on that clock where I was like, didn't have to wake up and then woke up at four, like ready to rock. Where's my ride. I feel like I, I do that for like three days. And then, and then I'm like, this is who I am now. Right. I'm an,

early morning guy now. I'm going to get so much done. Make an omelet. And then the weekend hits and even though I woke up at like 5 a.m. that Friday, I still will stay up till 2 a.m. like falling asleep in my Ashland hard seltzer. Okay. In my villager spirits. Whoa.

Just hanging on. And then the next day I wake up at 10 a.m. like a fucking asshole. I can't do it. Yeah, it's rough. It's really rough out there for go hard like you. And Blake, are you hungover? You're wearing sunglasses. If you're just joining us now, listeners, he's wearing shades. Okay, I'm glad you guys asked. I got a little merch drop from one of my favorite companies.

I'm buzzing, baby. It might be 9 a.m. Buzz Balls. Buzz Balls. Are Buzz Balls a sponsor of the podcast or you just are repping them? This is an unofficial sponsor. I also got. Wait, hold that up, please. Just so we get the screenshot. You want to see the merch?

They want to see the merch. I'm buzzing, baby. Well, why aren't they a sponsor? Well, I'll tell you what. I definitely am sitting on one case. Whoa. Oh, my God. I'm sitting on two cases of Buzzballs over here. So the bit is now real. We're talking $40. $40.

We're talking $40 value. Upwards of $35 to $40 worth of merch. The bummer is I didn't throw them in the fridge, so I don't know. Should I do the earliest recorded buzz ball in history? Yeah. Take your time. Go get some ice. Have a morning room temp buzz ball and let the people know how it tastes. And is that a buzz ball's denim cap? It is, yes.

And if I know Blake, you know, and I'm not trying to throw shade this early in the morning, but you are one of my most frugal friends. Okay. That ain't no problem with that. And this is downstairs. This isn't on the main floor that you're recording this podcast from. Correct.

And I know it's been like an unbelievable heat wave in Los Angeles. Absolutely. Yep. How hot are you running the AC? Because I'm Blake. Blake was known for not running the AC because of...

because he's a cheap fuck. Is it running? It's a sweat box. Is it? It's already hot here. Oh, yeah. It's already hot as fuck. And you're not running the AC? No. Or you are, but it's... No, no, not during peak hours because Newsom said you can't run it during peak hours. That's right. So I'm flexing my power, baby.

You notice when he said all that, though, he was wearing, like, a sweater? Yeah, he was in the coldest motherfucking spot. Yeah, he was, like, wearing, like, a fleece. He was probably at French Laundry having a $9,000 dinner. Okay, let's go. You guys remember the movie The Rock with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery? I don't know. Adam, do you remember...

The Rock? I guess it sounds familiar. Yeah, I feel like I remember the most seminal film of my childhood. Blake? Okay, so remember... Hey, Paul! Remember, like, about the whole plot of the movie is like, somebody, is it Ed Harris, has, like, a nuke or something. Yeah. But remember, okay, but remember how they open the fucking missile and them little green balls are in there? And they're all those balls. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

It's all buzz balls, baby. I'm on the rock over here, baby. Listen, if you're listening to this and you've got capabilities with CGI, you already know the assignment. We need the rock clip. Come on, Internet. TII Nation, get here. Buzz ball the nukes. Hey, I'm about to hit the rock, baby. Can you imagine the production meeting where the props guys come in and they're like,

you're going to lose your fucking mind. And they're like, okay, so what is it? And they open it up and it's those little bangly balls. And then everyone's kind of like, yeah, everyone's like,

Right. Okay. But it doesn't seem real, though. And they're like, shut the fuck up. They're like, what is it? What are the green balls? It's like venomous gas. You know, it's gases. Venomous. The director's like, what's the deal with this contraption? And he's like, look, I was on the phone until 3 a.m. last night with Nick Cage. This is all his idea. I had to fucking scrap it together. I think it's kind of fucking cool. Can we just do it?

Otherwise, Nick's going to be up my a-hole. Okie dokie. He's going to be up my ass, and Sean's going to have to talk him off the ledge, bro. Okay, I'm going to buzz. You got a Sean Connery, right, Blake? Oh, do I?

Dude, how didn't SNL just nab you up? Dragonheart. How did they not swoop you when you were like 24 years old? I don't get it. With talent like that. Yeah, man. You got to fuck the prom queen. Hey, that's not bad. That's pretty good. 007 doggy.

You're the man now, doggy. See, that's how I do impressions. I just say, I have to say like where you know them from and then usually their name. So it'd be like 007. Yeah.

I'm Sean Connery. That might have been Pierce. That might have been Pierce. You have to name a couple films. You're like 007. 007? It's me, Pierce Brosnan. I found Forrester. I found Forrester. I found him. You're the man now, dog. Perfect. He's still standing. He's still here. Is that the same movie? Yeah.

What quote is that? I'm still standing. I'm still here. This is Finding Forrester? I don't know. There were two movies that came out of the same movie. It might be Finding Nemo. Yeah. Could be. That's Just Keep Swimming. I'm sorry. What? What? You guys have seen Finding Nemo, right? No. No. I had never seen it, and then I watched it just because I have kids, right? And they want to see these movies.

not not for me fucking dorks not for me are you like fucking nerd did you say that to your children wasn't good that was one whole movie's about this like anxious dad trying to find his kid and it just hated the movie what's new i was like get your shit together pops it's fine but i guess like the mom got eaten so he's all like he doesn't want to lose his kid but it's just

Not my style. Well, why don't you cry about it? How would you feel if your wife was eaten, Durst? Thank you. You'd probably be pretty anxious and not really know what to do. Put yourself in Nemet's shoes.

I don't know. You're used to, you know, swimming around, doing your own thing, and then now you got to stay in the school? Wait, so Nemo's the son or the daughter? Nemo's the kid with the one little flipper. I don't know. I just, listening to, like, this anxious dad for an entire movie, who was played by, what's his name? Bob, um...

Odin Kirk. Yeah. No, no, no. Bob Barker. Um, Hope. Not Bob. Bobby Lee. Super dad's brother. Sorry, Super Dave's brother. Uh,

Bob. Bob. Nobody calls him Bob, right? It's like... Well, it's Bob Einstein. Or no, it's Albert Brooks. Thank you. Albert Brooks. Not Bob at all. So not Bob even a little bit. No, but Bob is Super Day. Fucking thing sucks! Anyway, I just was like... This dad is like...

Nemo I'm like yo chill please so it's a lot of the father's adventure you don't really cut to Nemo at all no you see Nemo cause Nemo's with Dory and Dory's Ellen yeah you gotta find him it's like saving Private Ryan oh you don't really see Matt Damon until the end oh it was Matt Damon oh spoiler alert so they save him son of a spoiler now that's the crossover I wanna see am I a good man

Tell me I was a good man. When they cut to the old him. So tight. No. Oh, is there like weird makeup when he's older? Is it played by a different actor? No, they cut to a different guy. This handsome, regal, old, blue eyed beauty. I'm bummed that we've never been in an army movie. I think we might have missed. We might have missed our Dunkirk. I feel like the window is like.

in your 20s, early 30s, get in your army movie. You might not be a redneck. You might not be a soldier, but you might be like a captain. So keep, you know. Here's your sign. No, I think if anyone's getting it, it's Ders. Ders is going to be like, because you're tall. I can still see it.

you got that jawline you got those like those eyes where they can be kind yeah they can but also there's a darkness there's a darkness behind them that you're like he's seen some shit thousand miles there or whatever let me do the Paul Rudd where the eyes go like this you know they go like they slant downwards like that kind of thing do you practice this shit in the mirror do you guys practice faces in the mirror

No, no, just, no, I just have emotions. Uh, when you're shooting and then whatever my face does. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. I see what you're saying. This is the look I see. Durs is going to get Blake would have had Blake is it's, it's a very specific word that Blake is. He only can be in Vietnam. I'm in,

And he's addicted to opiates. I'm on the renegade force. I'm staying here, guys. Blake will be an expat in something, I feel. Grab your shit! We're moving out! Come on in, brother!

I'm the welcoming committee. Who the fuck are you? The steaks are hot and the beers are cold. I'm the welcoming committee. Don't salute me, motherfucker. You can call me Tennessee. Where are you from? Buzzball? That's a grenade. The first buzzball. Yeah, you guys are drinking vodka out of a live grenade. You have yourself a buzzball. It cracks open a grenade. Spicy. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. Go ahead and sip the buzz ball. We call them buzz balls. You don't call them grenades? No. I feel like that's a missed opportunity. Fuck you. You just shit the kid. I never thought about that. I feel like I missed my window because I think it would have been... I feel like I'm too tiny to play...

a general. And I'm like too, I have too much of a natural kind of goofy personality to play like a, an, a hardened corporal. I feel people will be like, well, he's not a hardened corporal. He's fucking right. We know that little fucking goof troop. He's not a hard. Right. And when, and when you walk away and the pants are just so tight on that booty, don't got a butt like that. Yeah. Uh, uh, booty squeaking. They,

Have you guys seen that new guy? Who the fuck is this guy that runs around with his giant ass that he's always running places? It's like a viral person. It's not a gig. Yeah, he's a superstar. Yeah, he's just a fucking superstar. It's hilarious. Who wears those tight khakis, which, by the way, that's why I don't wear khakis. Khakis look...

Insane on me. Yeah. I don't want to bust them right from the middle. They're going to rip from the crack. You can flex your butt cheeks and blow out your backside. I had to get measured for a wedding yesterday. Adam Ray's getting married and I'm in his wedding. I have to go get measured for the wedding. The guy just measures my ass first. He just goes right to my ass.

My ass is like 46 inches around. You're going to have to come back, son. My ass. Ass and thighs. And then he goes, so what's your waist? Like 36, 38? Right. What? Dude? 36, 38? You're like a, and I'm 5'8 on a tall day? That is a giant person. I'm not. My waist is 32, 33. Right.

Dude. I mean, I'm getting hard over here. Yeah, dude. My man's got curves. You're saying all the numbers I like, brother. Dude, if I was a chick, I'd be fucking bodacious. But now it's off-putting for some people. Yeah. Damn, dude. For some people, it is off-putting.

If I were a girl. Damn, man. I'd be cleaning up if I were a chick, man. You'd be stacked, brother. I would have the right measurements. Loose butthole. Yeah, is your butthole loose? Okay, I'm going to blast off to BuzzTown. Yeah, blast off. Yeah, I mean, I thought you had blasted off. This is the earliest recorded buzzball, warm buzzball consumed. Dude, that is 100% not true. You know that some college kid has rolled over at like 8.

7 a.m. and had to like go to work at Quiznos or where the fuck ever at Jimmy John's and he's like, I gotta go to Shlotsky's. Whatever place would hire a face tattoo? Yeah. Yeah.

Whoever would hire a cursive face tattoo that says, like, sleepy, never forget on his face. Definitely chugged a buzz ball on the way in. Damn, Will. Can you juggle, Blake? And he's for sure riding his bike to the Jimmy John's that he works at. Or at least a bird scooter. Too many DUIs. Bro has one bird scooter that he's used his whole life. Yeah.

Yeah. He keeps it in the garage. He's stolen it and somehow rigged it to where he doesn't have to pay. It's just his. Yeah. He spray painted it. What would happen if you kept your bird scooter or whatever scooter you use? They have tweets and well, there's track. Yeah. Let's not just say bird. Let's talk about all the brands. Yeah. Let's open it up a little bit. We're not sponsored. Lime. What are some other ones? Uh,

Dooder scooters. Livewire? I don't know. No, that's where we used to download porno. That's where I heart Deep Throat. There's Morpheus. Well, what if you kept it in your garage and the guy keeps coming and he's like, where the fuck is this thing? Is this broke?

Well, he would go, it's in the garage. They have GPS on the thing. The fucking police would end up coming going, you stole this bird scooter. Hey, what happened? Don't people make money by like going around at night and like scooping them up and taking them back to the charging center? Yeah. Walsh was, I was, I think, trying to get some extra coin.

doing that. He definitely said it sucked and like he didn't get paid enough. Side hustle. No, but isn't it also your job and this is where it got fucked up is because well, this is like kind of what I heard through the grapevine, but Goons was living with our boy Greg, but part of picking up the scooters is that you're also responsible for charging them. So he was like charging hella scooters at the house. So the electrical bill was just going like through the roof because he's charging like a dozen bird scooters a night.

I can believe that. That's when you hope you live at like an apartment complex where you could just do it in the garage. Right. Secret, secret. With like the one electrical outlet and get an extension cord and just plug in 30 of them. Yeah. Right. And it's like a Christmas vacation style. The fucking manager of the building comes down and is like, this is a...

crazy fire hazard. The lights are just flickering above. Hit that buzz ball, baby. What are you waiting for, dude? Okay, alright. It's time to buzz off. Come on, man. Count me down, man. TII Nation, count me down. It's a breakfast buzz. The time on the clock is 9.26 a.m. California time.

Here we go. And I'm going to do it. I promise I'm going to do it soon. I'm really excited to do it. It smells good. What flavor? We've got the most classic of it all. It's Tequila Rita. And it smells good. Okay, 3, 2, 1. What a Tequila hot Rita. Hot.

By the way, how hot is it in this room right now? I'm sweating through my white t-shirt. It's already 89 degrees outside. Jesus Christ. All right. Here's the global warming little tequila Rita to all my tea. Here we go. And wait, Dave, before you sip it. It touched my lips. Is the AC on downstairs? AC's not on. AC's not on. Jesus, why? It's okay. Don't worry. Don't worry.

All he needs is a Buzz Balls Tequila Rita. We're off and we're buzzing. 3, 2, 1, go. Oh, he's slamming it. Okay, we didn't say you had to chug it. Do you have to chug Buzz Balls? I think he does. Yeah, I guess you have to. It's part of his whole brand. We've talked about this.

Yeah, not bad. Whoa, dude. Hits the spot. How was it? Whoa. Worth it? Worth doing it? Yes, dude. Now it's and now I'm past the hump, baby. Woo. Oh, cool. Oh, damn. He's back.

What a cool message. Holy shit. Yeah, I got to get on the board. I got to get on the board, dude. Well, you just said board. You definitely said board. Get on that board. Oh, my God. I got to get on that surf board. Holy shit. Those are great. Those are great. Holy moly. That was not as bad as, I mean, it burnt. It definitely burnt. Well, your face said it was horrific.

Well, if you guys could just make sure that's my face on the cover of The Rock and you replace Nicolas Cage with that face of me and then you have the buzz balls. TII Nation, get on that. You got it, baby. TII Nation, get on that. You know, we talked to TII Nation. The people that do the GIFs and stuff, which are – we love them. We love all the artwork. Never stop. There's like three of them. Yes, we do. There's like three people. We should just learn their names and be like, hey, Glenn, Stacy, and Carlos. Yeah.

Please do it for us. Thank you. Maybe we could have a virtual dinner or something. Is Glenn Stacy a person? Glenn Stacy is Spider-Man's girlfriend. No, that's Gwen Stacy. Yep. But I was like, you said Glenn and Stacy. I'm like, Glenn Stacy, Glenn Stacy. I think I just made up two really cool names just off the top of my head, just improv style. That's always been one of your – and I'm being honest, Adam –

You're really good at just pulling the funniest name out of thin air. So congrats on that, dude. Oh, my gosh. Like a good improv show? Yes, dude. Adam always has. Hey, my name's Quentin McGillicuddy. McGillicuddy. Hi. Michael Futon, nice to meet you.

- Oh my God. - Richie Wambo. - Hey, it's me, Richie Wambo. What was your name in the sketch that we did way back in the day where I was singing all of the TV theme songs? - Oh, Chuckie Gay Wagon. - Yes. - Yeah, what was the name of the, it was a thematic, right? - Thematic.

Yeah. And I believe, didn't Durz have a really funny name for, uh, we did a guitar hero sketch. That was like one of the first things that blasted us off. We were in GamePro Magazine and we flipped the fuck out. Hundreds of people saw this video. I know. I loved, I loved that early success that we had that we were like, oh my god, we made it. We're in GamePro Magazine. Yeah, just kind of on the side of a page. G4 Network is talking about us. Right. Uh,

Our name is in Olivia Munn's mouth. Come on, we're going. Whoa, weird sentence. No, like keep my name out of your mouth. Our name is in Olivia Munn's mouth. Come on. Like she's saying our name. What the fuck, bro? Come on.

Has Olivia Munn just denounced her G4 background? Does she even kind of look back or do you think she's just moved on? No, I think that's a good thing to like, especially with now like nerd culture is like super hyper on top. Like you can be like... It's so cool. I know, she knew that and was like, I'm going to slide in here. Do you think she's got a sick G4 tat? She was exploiting the nerd culture. That girl's not a nerd, dude. No, she's not a nerd. She's kind of... That girl's not a nerd. You don't think she's a gamer? No.

No, I don't. It's what we called nerd baiting, and that was the first time I learned about it. And Blake was fully baited. Yeah, you were baiting all right. I was totally baited. Hey, man, keep my name out your mouth, dog. I was not.

I was not. Dude, I love squishing your name all up in my mouth. I love deep-throating your mouth, dude. I love deep-throating your name in my mouth, Blake. Wait, what was the name in the thing? Wasn't your name Gunnar Torkelson? Oh, yeah, but that was like my fake ID name.

Oh, really? Did we cover that? Yeah, we used a lot of... Yeah, we did. We had Adams. Gunnar Torfenson. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Right.

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We used our fake ID names quite a bit, I feel. Because mine was my workaholics character, Adam DeMamp. I was Devin DeMamp, which we've covered. Because your homie who made IDs, this is the best. Could only rearrange letters. He's like, I can't give you a new name. I can only rearrange letters. It was like literally the first Photoshop that Adobe Photoshop won. Like the first time they came out with it. Right. Just Adobe Photoshop. Yeah.

Yeah, they probably just called it Photoshop. Allegedly. And it was like, what, 2000? I think 2000. Yeah. And he could take letters away or numbers away. He couldn't add something new and have it look good. So he could just rearrange the letters on the ID. Right. So he had to use, like, whatever your name was. He could rearrange the name and make it...

a new name. Yeah. So I was Devin...

D-Mamp. Yeah, which is pretty good. The fact that you pulled Devin, you're like, I'll definitely be Devin. Yeah, I'm Devin Mamp. You know that last name, Mamp, that you've heard? Yeah, the Mamp clan. Oh, it was a D, like middle initial? Yeah, D was a middle initial. Oh, I thought it was DaMamp. And then on the show, I was like, DaMamp is a cooler name than just Mamp. Mamp is...

The Mamp family is a proud family. It's a family name. Oh, of the Omaha Mamps? Of the Mamps. That's right. Yes, that's right. The Mamps. By way of Iowa? Yeah.

Yes, that is correct. Waterloo. Before that, Ireland. The Mamps. The Mamps family. The Mamps, of course. Mamp actually means mountain that cascades into water. And just kind of turns into mud. Yeah.

Can you go fetch the goats off the memp now, Lassie? Frolicking in the memp. Come in my memp. You know, I learned what, like, when Chloe was, like, changing her name from Chloe Bridges to Chloe Divine. As she should. As she should. As she should. As I made her. We were, like, looking up, like, the meanings of names. Oh, that's cool. Bridges is, like...

people, it was kind of whack. I think I know what Bridges is. Can I take a guess? Yeah, please do. Is it like something that connects two pieces of land?

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yes. Yes. How does he do it? I don't know how he does it. Yeah. It's like people that lived near bridges or under bridges or by bridges. And it's like, that's a crazy way. Trolls. That's a crazy way to just like name the other troll family. Trolls. That's a crazy way to name yourself. Like just like by kind of where you were. We're under the bridge. But the vines were hilarious. Uh,

Divine was either they were like a well-to-do person that they would think it was church or that they were divine Yeah, or and this happened quite a bit It was like a way to make fun of someone as a way who's like thinks he's like hot shit And so you're like, oh, they're a divine. Oh

Oh, okay. So it was like Bougie. Adam Devine, you fancy bitch. So Devine meant Bougie back in the day. Yeah, I guess so. So technically I'm Adam Bougie. You guys were kind of like... I think we know what Blake's last name means. Hey, bitch. Oh, fuck off, brother. You're my dad. He's my son. And it really is that, right? Anders' son? Yeah. You are my son. Anders' son. And I think my last name does mean like island or something. Home? Yeah, like an off-the-shore island. Oh.

Hmm.

Like Dolph Lundgren explained it to me one time. He was like, your name means one time. Oh yeah. He's like, on this means strange. And your last name means, well, he said, I'm going to tell you once. And if I, if I have to say it again, I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you, dude. This is what your name means. No, it was tight. I was crying when he told me, I was like, that was tight. I forget. I, I did. I don't forget that Dolph Lundgren was on the show, but when people ask me like, you were blackout. It was Halloween. Yeah.

No, it was... When people ask me, like, what guest stars did you have on the show? I say Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and then that's kind of it. Yes. Legendary. Goddamn, that's so cool. But Dolph Lundgren is right the fuck up there. He's right there. What a fucking living legend he was. Yes, insane. And I just wanted to let people know that this dude was...

He's a movie star, right? Of a certain era. And showed up on our show and was game and between takes. He wasn't like, I'll be in my trailer. He was just off to the side stretching with his leg very high. He was telling... He was like, gather around, tell me your last name and I will tell you what it means. I shall tell you what it is. I...

Well, you know, to be perfectly honest, which we always keep it 100 on this podcast. On this podcast. I got to keep it 100.

He at first was kind of like, I can only be here for four hours or whatever he said. Yeah. Three hours. And then we started improvving and he was like kind of having fun and we're like giving him extra lines and jokes to say. And he was like, oh, this is fun. And then he was having a good time and he was like, ah, fuck it. I'll stay a little longer. Yeah.

Which I thought was so cool. There's a Norseman here and then he started punching. He started punching us Yeah, he was like that. He saw dirt. It was like a fellow Norseman, right? Yeah an Islander home, right?

They started doing the Island Boy thing. Dude, those guys... Those guys kind of came and went pretty quick, huh? Those guys fucking came and went. Yeah. They're around. They are. They're starting to box. You'll probably see them in a fight soon. Oh, they're going to be in like...

What's that boxing that Barstool Sports does? Like rough and rowdy? Is that right? Well, yeah. Remember we were talking about, man, we want a fighting thing where it's just regular guys fighting. Then I realized we kind of have that. It's so

Social influencers fighting each other. Yeah. A lot of that. Well, no, it's I think it is rough and rowdy. I think that is the like Barstool Sports just gets like fucking guys just like the electrician versus the guy that works in the produce section at Ralph's. Well, the other day there was like a big one the other day that I don't think is big one. Barstool is like what's that? That new company like D.A.Z.N. I think they call it like date.

Dazen or something. Oh, yeah. Yes, they've asked me to... Fight Blake. Fight me? Beat up Blake? No, they asked me to comment on a fight. Like, be sitting there and being like... Ringside? Yeah. That'd be kind of cool. It would be. For whatever reason, I couldn't do it. And then they...

Never asked me again. It's really weird. I mean, I get it, but the sport of boxing is kind of wild right now. Are they the same company that does the versus battles? I think so. It is, right? Those were so popping during quarantine. That was probably my best memory of COVID were like versus battles. Those were so sick. It wasn't like spending more time with your family and loved ones? Nah, bro. That was cool. Hey, don't get it twisted. Yeah.

It was those versus battles that you watched on your computer? The whole family would gather around the laptop at 10 p.m. and watch E-40 versus Duke Sport. Yes, your eight-year-old would pop some popcorn, sit down. Yeah, man. Dude, it was super sick because what was so weird and cool about quarantine is you'd be watching versus and the chat would legit have like, since nobody's at the club...

like ti's in the chat swizz swizz beats in the chat like and you're just like swizz beats is the producer of it but yeah go ahead yeah yeah but like you're like chatting and commenting along with the verses and they're everybody's at home nobody is out so like you were like yeah swizz i agree it's you it's you being like yeah tip tell them totally ti

Hey, ATL and back down. It was just cool knowing that because I get extreme FOMO. So like knowing no one is having fun was very much like it was very calming to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The bitch. Say.

Oh yeah, the bitch. Extreme FOMO. Extreme FOMO. You know what FOMO is, correct? Yes, Blake. We know what FOMO is. Thank God. I didn't want to have the fear of missing out. We know. We're actually always talking about that when you're not around. Yeah, Blake's like, I bet Blake wishes he was here with us. I always do. I think I only watched a couple of those. It was like Kumo D, uh,

who's very cool. I see where he got the name. That was probably the one I didn't see. It was like old school. I didn't... I'm such a dork. I didn't watch any of that stuff. Dude, you didn't watch any? Mostly just like kicking it with my family and my loved ones. Fuck off.

Dude, the best one by far was Young Jeezy versus Gucci Mane. That shit was so sick because they actually went to the same. Yeah, give us the highlight. What do they do? What is the versus? They like rap battle each other?

Yeah, it's basically you go song for song. Hey, I'm your 68-year-old father. What do they do? They rap battle? They don't rap battle making up new stuff, but they go hit for hit. So it's like out of the gate, they'll be like, oh, this was my number three hit. Then the other person will do that. Oh, and Ludacris has never done it because he would have been the champion.

He would have done really well. I wonder who he would have gone against. It would have been fucking sick. Luda versus Busta? But the thing is, do you go until you can't go anymore? Because Busta would stop at some point. No, because you can do features. Because Busta doesn't have as many hits as Luda. You gotta think about it.

That's the thing Adam you go into these verses you're like Oh Luda's gonna mop this bro, and then they start to pull out like the shit you didn't know like they were they produced or they Featured on and then you're like oh my god. That was a bust a song or just songs that they listen to before Frank Sinatra Just start playing journey and you're like, oh

Yeah, he just really likes Journey. Okay. Did Scott Storch do one versus like Swizz Beatz? And it was like just a thousand songs. I think so. It was either him or... I know Swizz Beatz like went up against like Just Blaze. People are tired. People are like just leaving, going... They're coming back with like footlong subs. Dude, no one's there. Everyone is just watching from home. That was the crazy part. Oh, there's not like a little... Oh, that's right. It was during the hype...

of COVID, right? Later on, they were doing it live. They started to. That's why the Jeezy Gucci one was sick is they did it at a strip club in Atlanta. And that was like the first time you were watching people gather. And it was like, oh my God. They're like, don't worry. This is the safest place to gather. Yeah.

Scott Storch versus Manny Fresh. Oh, dude, come on. Which is insane. That's fucking good. What a night. You know, I was in New Orleans once. This is like a decade ago. I think I was like shooting the first Pitch Perfect movie. And...

Legendary. It was a club on Frenchman Street. I think it was Maison. And we were up in the balcony and it was like packed that night. We didn't know why. And we had to like... It took a lot to get in. And Manny Fresh was the emcee. And...

Oh my God. It was the night that mystical got out of prison. Oh yeah. It was his welcome back party. He's going back. They brought. Oh, is he? Yeah. Yeah. Like just yesterday. Oh, what's only getting worse for him. Yeah. Mystical is actually a very bad person. He beat up another lady. What happened? He's a very bad person. Essentially. Yeah.

So anyway, you guys exchanged numbers and what? Cool voice. Chloe and I have talked about it. If we have a child, he's going to be the godfather. Did I do that? Yes.

Yeah, you did. You did. And we have proof, and it's on there. But it was Mystical's first day back from prison, and he got on stage. And weirdly, Snoop Dogg was there. And Snoop Dogg isn't a New Orleans guy, so I know Mystical is. Absolutely not. And Manny Fresh are. You know what? He gets really bad FOMO, though, so he probably was like... I bet Snoop Dogg gets the worst FOMO. Yeah. But Snoop Dogg was on a throne.

That's sick. Like a true throne. And they gave him like a plate of like 200 chicken wings. And he just sat there and ate chicken wings and watched Mystical perform. Well, I mean... Let's stop saying Mystical.

I don't want his name in our mouth. I don't want his name anywhere near my mouth. Check the chat from the producers. Mystical, you're canceled on TII. Do not deep throat Mystical's name. Yeah. We're taking a hard stance against Mystical. Canceled. Hated him. Yeah. What sucks, I wish he wasn't such a piece of shit because I do. I know. Just his voice is pretty awesome. But he did rap, and this is one of my boy T-Murph's jokes.

One of his main lines was, I came in here with my dick in my hand. That was one of his lyrics. Fair enough. That's like how he jumps a song off. That's how he entered most rooms. And if you do that, it's going to catch up to you. He said, I came in here with my dick in my hand. Don't make me leave with my foot in your ass. That's something, you know. Be cool. Yeah.

Get out of here. Wow. Anyway, Benny Fresh, terrific producer. Oh, an absolute legend. So Mystical was indicted on first degree rape charges, which I think that's the worst degree, and could face life sentence. Yeah, how do degrees work?

I feel that that's- I thought third degree is- like a third degree burn is worse than a first degree. What about third degree murder? Is that a thing? No, first degree, there's no third degree. That's manslaughter. I got three degrees. Yeah, got three degrees to my murder. Life sentence. Kung Nei! Could get a life sentence, so my guess is that's the worst. And he's also- that's what he went to prison for before.

So he's a serial, like, rapist. Yeah, he's a terrible person. He sucks. We should keep his name out of our mouth. Yeah, do not deep throat that man who I shall not mention. But it's magical. What?

Do not mention, do not depot his name. What's with the word degree? It seems like it means quite a bit. Like a scholarship degree, degrees temperature-wise. Let's break down degrees. What does the word degree mean? And I wish we had Kyle here for this because I think he'd beat off to this. Yeah.

A little known fact, TII Nation, Kyle beats off every podcast. I guess we forgot to mention he's not here. And it doesn't feel weird if

It feels good. It feels real good. It feels natural, flowy. Yeah. He legit big-timed us. Yeah. He big-timed us. Speaking of Manny Fresh, he big-timered us, and I'm a little upset about it. Big-timers. Points. Points. Give yourself points. Okay. Give me a second. I've had a really early buzz ball. It takes me a while to find stuff. Yes, buzz.

He's doing Emmy stuff, which that's super dope. I guess. For what we do in the shadows, which he is a producer on. So it is very cool. If you're going to miss the pod, that's a good reason. Nominated for best comedy, right? Yeah. You think Emmys is the excuse? You can miss pod for Emmy stuff? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that. Yeah, I feel like that's a pretty good excuse.

And honestly, it's like, we're all busy. You know, if you have to miss one, it's fine. What the hell? I thought you guys were going to go hard on him. I'm going to be the guy to fucking call him out. Yeah, dude. We don't just do you. Tee off. Tee off, King. What the fuck does that even mean? You want to know what the real Emmy is? Our friendship. Oh, my God.

Does anybody? Was that profound enough? I might cash it in for a golden statue. Dude, Kyle, you know he was teeing off on freaking execs like two episodes ago. You know he's going to just get jumped by a whole crew of powerful people. No, they don't watch the show. No.

They don't listen to our show. No. I do love the idea of them winning and Kyle going on stage wearing a suit that like somebody from the band Korn would have worn in like 1999. Yeah.

He's got the chain wallet. Kyle gets dressed up. He gets dressed up. And just like skinny sunglasses and like two like braided pigtails. A zoot suit. A chain wallet. This is Kyle's like first, you know, if they do win and he gets to go on stage, this will be his first foyer into that. So he's going to, I think he will dress proper. The issue will be if they go on. You'll have a leather satchel. You know who you're talking about, bro. Dude.

no, no, no, no. I'll want custom. He's going to look like a cherry popping. Daddy's squirrel nut zipper. No, no, no, no. He will like try to fit in. I think the first time, but if he, they go on a run and they win, like, you know how like modern family or Frazier went on a run. They won like six in a row or eight or in a row or whatever. But,

By the third Emmys, Kyle's going to be wearing a fucking zebra outfit. Oh, he's going to do costume changes. Yeah, it'll be out there. Or it'll be just like all steampunk. He'll try to bring that back.

Who's the creator of Gilmore Girls and of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel who wears straight up top hats and dresses with spider webs coming off them? Oh, yeah. What is her name? Paul F. Tompkins. No, it's a woman. Palladino. Amy Sherman Palladino.

Her fashion game is so next level. Legendary. There's never been a show like everything she creates. I'm like, oh, I couldn't do what that is. No. Where everyone just has like 42 sentences between each other. Dude, I left an audition for Gilmore Girls like super early on.

when I first moved to, I think it was Gilmore Girls or it was one of her shows. No. Maybe it was one of like a show she's trying to get off the ground, but it was, there was so much dialogue and you had to speak it so fast. Yeah. And I just have a pretty slow cadence just with how I talk. Yeah. And also my brain works really slow. You're a stumbler. So,

By the way, you're speaking very quickly now, but it's different when you have to memorize it for an audition. When you have to memorize it and spit everything out super quickly. I was stumbling through this audition and then I could tell the casting director was like, this isn't working. And I just go, thank you. And I stopped halfway through and I go, this one's not for me. Thank you so much. That being said, she never brought me back in. But

But you know your strengths. This one's not for me. This one's not for me. I'm not going to get this. I know I'm not going to get this. Oh, you cool guy. You're like, look, here's the deal. And I'm out. You're not going to cast me. I'm not going to really know the lines. He just opens a buzz ball. Dude, I knew the lines. I knew the lines. It's just how I speak. I know the lines. I'm going to stumble through them a little bit. Let's make this easy on both of us. I'm out of here. I'm out of here.

Oh, man, dude. Look, I'm not getting this part. You know, and I know. Auditioning was the worst. I wish we could get every audition we've ever done and watch them together. That would be amazing. Yo. Oh, yeah. I bet Blake has some real fucking time.

Real sweet. Because Blake gets pretty wound up. He gets pretty nervous. I'm not good at auditioning. Have I said this on the pod? My audition to play the clown in the movie It?

You lose! If you mentioned it... Dude, but I also, I see that for you. It's the eyebrows. It is. Yeah, they were like, we want a scary Norwegian. Where's that list? I went in there, and I was like... Wow! Wow!

You know, like went like full in. Cause I was like, all right, like I'm here, like let's do it. And they were like, yeah, for sure. Try it again. I was like, and they were like, okay. And by the way, for people listening, you're just in some room off some street with a lady and a person with a camera and

And then you transform into this thing for two minutes and then you go and you go, hey, do you guys validate parking? Because I'm on the street. Okay, no, forget it. And you're just back to reality and you're like, what did I just do? And then you go outside and there's a guy shitting on the hood of your car. Right.

you have a ticket. He's using the tick, your parking ticket to wipe his ass. You step on human shit on the way back to your car. And you walk past the person who looks exactly like you. Yeah. That's way more famous. And you're like, well, they got it. They're going to book it. Okay, great. And they're in clown makeup. The guy who ended up getting it isn't way more famous than you. So it,

Is he just a better actor? I would say he's probably like a better actor. Beat you to it. Beat you to it. Oh, man. I mean, he comes from the lineage, though. He's a Scars guard. He's from the lineage. Okay. Yeah. So nepotism is why. Is that what you're saying, Durs? Nepotism is why you didn't get that role? I'm saying they got the skill set and the bloodline there, man. To be like scary evil clowns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the vibe.

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I remember for, for getting Sarah Marshall, I was called in to play Bill, uh, not to play, to audition for Bill Hader's role of like the brother who is like married with a kid. And by the way, I was like, right. 24 years old. I didn't look like I was married with a kid. And, uh,

for whatever reason, Judd Apatow was in the room and it was like straight to producers call back. And I'm acting opposite Jason Siegel's in the room. And I'm like, it was way above my pay grade at the time. I was like, and so I just started, I'm like, here's my chance to show them. I can improv and went way off, off book, like way off book. Right. And they're like, okay, uh,

And I went in going like, I'm going to improv a lot, you know, and make it your own, make it my own. And then they're like, okay, let's just do one descript.

Couldn't do a descript. Just was like too prepared to improv. And by the way, when you say prepared to improv, did you already go, did you already have like two or three bits that you were like, I'm going to do this and I'm going to take this line and do that? Or like legit improv, like off the cuff. Yeah. I had like some sort of planned improv-y, like where like ideas where I'm like, and then if he says this, I might do something like that. So that's not improvising, that's rewriting. Yeah.

Yeah, totally, totally. But then he, yeah, they did not like that. And then that casting director didn't bring me back for literally a decade. Literally until I hired her to

That's why I didn't direct a movie that I was producing. She was like, oh, hey, it's been a while. And I'm like, I know, because you refused to bring me back for years. Damn, that's fucking rough. I definitely have a casting director who is huge and casts everything that I fuck up every audition for. Just generally, I'm like, I didn't nail that one. Nope. And there's movies that I do want and other movies that I'm like, it would just be good to be in this one, but I don't like it.

love it or need to be in it. Right. Every time I'm just like, I can't do that. And I even tell her, I'm like, I'm back. Even though I know every time not good here. I'm sorry. And she's like, no. Well, at least she's calling you back. Yeah, I know. But like, I guess I didn't even realize that that was kind of like a good sign. I just always assume like be brought back. Yeah. Cause they're like,

I feel like I'm in the same situation where I've bombed some shit, but I've done it multiple times. I don't know if that's just someone being nice to me or it's just Isaac muscling me into it. It's definitely not that. Our manager has so much muscle. That must be what it is. Shout out to Isaac, dude. Thanks, brother, man. Blake, you know what it is? It's that he goes, look, if I'm going to send Adam in, it's a package deal. You got to read Ders for this one and Blake for that other one. And they're like...

All right. I mean, we want Adam for this. So... Zip it. Sure. So... Janitor number two and... Yeah. Yeah.

Stop it. And then they even give me like a second go like, oh, yeah, that's good. Here's a note. Just like – You're trying to let it – Yeah, just kind of let it – it's just kind of – just throw it away. Just throw it away. You're really making a meal out of every word. Don't worry if we're recording this one or not. This one's for you. Like literally you're making a meal out of every word. We've ran out of tape. Like you're really milking it. Hey, so this is – you just have to say –

Do you guys like the soup? It's not a whole... Do you guys? Do you guys like the soup? Is it cool if I improv a little bit? Because if you do, if you do, cool. If you don't, I have so many other funny soups. I have cold soups. I have cabbage stew.

You were like, I got so many soups. You named one soup and then you're like, switching to stews. Hey, just let's keep it to soups. Can we just keep it to soups? Split pea soup, chicken noodle soup. Yeah, yeah, got it, got it, got it. Who wants some chicken noodle soup? Zip it, chili. Stews. I also have baked bread. Nope, not bread. We said soup. Soup is... Can we stop you right there? Just name soups. I'm going to stop you right there. Name as many soups as you can.

This is how movies and TVs work. So they only have... I'm going to buzz ball. They only have a certain amount of food items there and really just soup. And one specific soup.

They don't have like a ton of other food ready to go for the scene. So you do have to say soup. Okay, right Yeah, how are you guys enjoying the pizza? No cream sandwiches. No, I made you soup pizza Okay, thanks for coming in no we don't know Human shit on the way back to your car

It's a cruel mistress, isn't it? Are there any take-backs, giveaways, apologies, or epic slams this epi epi episode?

Ooh, I know mine. Go for it. What's yours? I know my special freaking shout-out is none other than to the unofficial sponsor of TII, BuzzBalls, baby. Dude, you have to bring that back next week. You have to drink another BuzzBall. And I will. Blake, you're so good at holding up the things.

almost as long enough to read it, but not long enough that you can actually read it. Yeah, there you kind of go. Yeah, if you tilt your head, you can sort of see that it says Buzzball. He like half held up the shirt and then he like kind of showed the hat for a moment. Yeah, well, you're wearing the hat. It's early and it's hot. Oh my god.

Look how sweaty I am. Turn on the goddamn AC. This ring light is cooking. I feel like a fucking chicken tender at Sizzler just fucking waiting for somebody to swoop me up. Turn on the AC. I love that I was able to call the fact that you didn't have your AC on. Uh...

Yeah, because I flex my power. I care about the environment. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Okay. I got to go. I would love to give flowers to our fallen comrade, Kyle, for leaving for a good excuse this time. Yes. For a good excuse. Okay. Well accepted. And if he wins, what are we going to do? Are we going to party? Yeah.

I just want to party. I just want to party, daddy. I just want to party. Oh, yeah. Party, baby. Hell yeah. I can't. By the way, Kyle, I want you to win. I got to see this dude on stage. Yes. He'll be up there. Definitely not allowed to speak, though, right? I don't know. I wouldn't think he's going to get that mic, but maybe. Yeah.

I don't know. We got to text him. We'll text him. Well, the Emmys aren't tonight. They're Monday. But by the time this airs or whatever. Yeah, it'll already be out. But yes, we have to. He has to grab the microphone just to be like, what's up? Popo's out. Popo's out. Yeah, he has to scream. Popo's out.

Yeah, that'd be great. The Emmys are an absolutely terrifying place, though, because normally, like, those award shows, you just look out, like, when I did the MTV Movie Awards. Oh, yeah, you... But did you perform at the Emmys? I performed at the Emmys a couple years ago. Yes, that's right.

And you look out and there's like huge stars like sitting right in front. It's like Michael Douglas and shit. And you're just like, oh my God, fucking there's like huge stars in the crowd. The MTV Movie Awards, it's just like you look out and there's just like Wiz Khalifa. And so you're not intimidated. Is that your epic slam? Come on. No, he's just saying that you're very comfortable around Wiz. He's very inviting. I'm like, there's the homie Wiz Khalifa.

But Michael Douglas, you are like, there's the homie, Michael Douglas should be dude. I starred opposite Michael Douglas in that. Uh, I mean, it's animated, but our characters talked the entire time in the, uh, green, green eggs and ham. Never said a word. We were at a party together. One of those Emmy pre Emmy parties. And he was standing right next to me and close. I can go say hi. Is Michael Douglas right there? I'm like, yeah, he just looked too scary. He looked too intimidating. I'm like,

I guarantee you he rocks. Didn't he say, he's like, I got throat cancer because I was going down too many girls. Yeah, he was eating too much pussy. Didn't he say that? Don't quote him. That's a big fat allegation. No.

I'm pretty sure. No, no. We're quoting him verbatim. Can our producers look this up? I'm serious. I think he did say it. I think it was. Yes. Mystical Douglas. No, no, no. And that's another episode of This is Important. Hear that? Pumpkin.

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