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cover of episode Ep 103: Would You Rather Be Funny Or Mentally Healthy?

Ep 103: Would You Rather Be Funny Or Mentally Healthy?

2022/9/27
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This Is Important

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People
A
Adam
主持和编辑 STAT 的生物技术播客 “The Readout LOUD”,专注于生物技术新闻和行业分析。
B
Blake
Topics
Blake: 节目讨论了我的手臂肌肉,包括大小、形状和毛发密度等特征。我还分享了接种新冠疫苗后的身体反应,以及由此产生的肌肉痉挛和血管问题。 Adam: 我对Blake的手臂肌肉特征进行了评价和描述,并与Blake讨论了我们各自三头肌的形状差异。在Blake分享疫苗接种经历后,我回应了他的感受,并对他的经历进行了调侃。 Adam: 我详细描述了我持续的睾丸疼痛,以及我为此寻求医疗帮助的经历,包括超声波检查和与医生的互动。我还分享了我的伴侣对我的病情反应,以及我如何应对这种疼痛。 Blake: 我对Adam的睾丸疼痛表示同情,并分享了我们过去在喜剧作品中处理过类似主题的经历。我还与Adam讨论了我们对睾丸疼痛的感受,以及我们如何应对这种疼痛。

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The hosts discuss the importance of mental health and humor, setting the tone for the episode.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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Dersi's uterus cups. Whatever you do, don't walk in a room with a dick in your hand. How did somebody not scoop your little fleshlight ass up? And here we go. Yes!

- Yaaas, Kings! - Black Park! - Okie dokie! - Tight, tight, tight one for the hole. - It's a bagel. - Wow, dude! - We're back! Marching Gortops. - Oh man. - Do we have a song that would really kick it off? - Yeah, hit us with it. - That's kind of your thing, yeah, that's your thing. - Yeah, hit us with it. - What would it be? - Hit us with it, Blakey. - Let's see. - Give it, give it, give it. - Wait, can you hear it? No, this is not it.

Wait, no, let that ride. What is this? What is this? Well, this isn't kicking it off. This is winding it down. Play this at the end. It's making me want to fuck you guys. Oh my God.

That was random. Okay! Nobody's supposed to be here! Take me to church. Is that from Waiting to XL? Or I don't know. Damn, that's a great track. It seems like it should be. I think it's from a soundtrack, but that track rocks.

Adam, should we jump right into talking about the definition in Blake's arms right now? Like, what are we looking at here? Okay. Okay. Sorry, Andre Iguodala. Wow, dude. Okay. My boy.

Corey Maggette, I'll shoot you back a clipper. A little Corey Maggette over here. How about this one? Merriam-Webster because my man's got definition. Ooh, oh, okay. Flex for us, dog. Flex for us. Let's see it. Let's see it. Look at that. Now the other one. Is the other one way smaller? No, this is my strong one. I have a lot of pit hair. Oh, nice. And let's also talk about your pit hair because you've always had very...

very dense pit hair. Yeah, dude. That's the only place other than my head. Now, do you think you have the biggest arms in Lemmings now? No, not at all. You still got the cannons, brother. No, Kyle's got them. Wobble wobble. Kyle's got those teacher arms.

The bummer about my arms is they're never as shredded looking. They're just big. They're big and beefy. They're meat cannons. They're real meat cannons. But I don't got that sweet, sweet shredded death that you got, baby. And let's see the back. Do you have the goat hoof? Oh, see, that I don't know. Yeah.

It might be the lighting, but yeah, your triceps do look mad dooky. No, I don't do those kickbacks. Adam's triceps have always had that little lump on the side.

I got a power lump. Like you just got a shot or something? It's not a tumor. You're going abroad? I was a super punch when I got my COVID vaccine. The very first time. You what? Yeah, I'm one of those believers in COVID. I've had it multiple times. You stupid dumbass. Wow.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm crazy like that. I just doctors and stuff. I sort of believe in them, but I just listened to science. I just listened to the doctors and I don't know, but it's science. And then you went blind. Interesting. She was putting it into my arm and she was like, uh, please stop flexing. And I'm like, Oh,

Chloe heard me say it like she was getting the shot right right next to me. It was like a line of people and She was like Jesus Christ. I've never seen you look more proud. It was like I just won the Emmy I was like she's like relax No, she's like honestly though like not your muscles are spazzing and your veins are like really fucked up You should go to hospital. You should go to hospital. Can you see right now? You're not flexing you're fucked you

Yeah, you're high as a kite on pre-workout right now. Your blood is so thick it's like goo. It's not good. Your veins are struggling. I love the idea of her saying that to you and then you kind of walk away stoked and then like a 12-year-old sits down and she's like, hey, can you stop flexing? Hey, stop. And you're like...

Fuck! And you realize it's just her line and like little boys. I don't give a fuck! Yeah, she thought I was a child. Wow, look at these muscles. Oh, hey big boy. That's what she did say, hey big boy, and patted the seat when I sat down. Right on the top of your head. There's our big guy. She gave me a lollipop when I left, so maybe...

There you go. Would you like a little Pokemon sticker? Yeah, and we're going to put a little Paw Patrol Band-Aid on you. Oh, hey. And you're done. Do you want Marshall or do you want another one I can't name? And someone was like, you know he's not 10. And I'm like, I know, but he's slow, right? Right.

I wrote does Adam Devine have in Google and it filled in the rest for me. Yeah, I'm aware of who he is. He did ask for a lolly afterwards, but okay. Lolly, a dum-dum. Dude, shout out to dum-dums. I will say that my, speaking of medical stuff, speaking of being a fucking idiot, my fucking balls, dude.

Now I've got more. Speaking of balls, should I buzz ball off? Should I buzz off? Dude, buzz ball. I don't know. Last week got kind of crazy. Treat yourself to another buzz. Buzzing, buddy. Wait a minute. Oh, dear God. And should we talk about Kyle's speech or no? No.

Kyle's Emmy speech? No, we shouldn't talk about his speech. I just reached into the buzz box and I pulled out something I did not want to pull out. Are they cold this week? They're not cold. They're still very hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. You still didn't put them in the fridge. You still...

Oh, God. It's one of my least favorite things. It's a chili mango. Yeah, it's a spicy brew. Yeah. It's a spicy brew. I'm not a big mango fan. Feel free to reach in again. We're not pressuring you to have the chili mango, or are we, Dirk? But I will say this, because if you drink all the good ones at first, then you're going to be stuck with just all the bad ones, and you're not going to want to throw them away. But then you can give them to your children. Yeah.

Is this better? Is this better? The chalk teas. Oh, no, that is not. That is not better. Should I have had a milk product sitting in the heat this long? No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely. That's not better. Go chili mango. 100%. Ah,

Chocolate? Is that supposed to be like a Kahlua mudslide? It must be. It must be. I think it's... The cause of diarrhea. But anyways. Okay, I'm going to chili mango it. And then Divine, please... Download us about your balls while I slurp this ball. Oh, okay. Yes. I Snapchatted that memory. I was like, what were we talking about? Yeah. Your testicles. What was I about to say? Oh, yeah.

Just go to your default thought. Oh yeah, the nuts. Uh, cause it's, you know how for like well over a month now, it feels like someone has kicked me in the nuts just a few minutes ago. Yeah, which has gotta be a terrible feeling. It's the worst. I can't, uh, I can't do anything. I'm not even having sex. Chloe's super bummed at me. Uh,

Cause she loves getting it. I bet. I wish you were like, as he looks over to make sure she is super bummed. You are bummed. I wish you were like, and weirdly she seems oddly satisfied still somehow. Yeah. She's really cool. Yes. I don't know why she said, I don't know what's going on through every room. She's dealing with it. Well,

No, so I have to have a heat pad on my balls at all time. And I'm like working a lot right now on Gemstone. And what happened to yourself? So like six months ago when I was doing the show in Berlin –

I was like, it's Bumper in Berlin. It's a spinoff show about my character from the Pitch Perfect movies. Legend, mate. So I'm like singing and dancing. I'm a song and dance man. Once again, I'm jiggling all over. And I like did my classic dance.

kick my foot up, do the foot swipe maneuver that I do. - We know it well, we know it well. - I know you guys do. - Yes, yes, yes. - Point the toe. - Points. And I just, my body went-- - Joints? - I'm a man! - Like in my lower, like top dick region, which we've talked about this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I felt it rip. And they did an ultrasound, there is a tear there. They're like, just don't-- - And I'm pregnant.

Don't use it a lot. Twins. But I kind of didn't stop working out, you know, because I'm a fucking idiot. And I had to keep doing the show and I still worked out every day, trying not to do things that would hurt me, but still kind of hurting myself.

And it felt better. That was like six months ago. And then a month, like a little over a month ago, I re-hurt myself working out thinking I'm fully good. What movement were you doing? I was doing deadlifts. Good.

Okay. And it just fucking... And it will pop me. And now I'm just fucked. So I go to a doctor. They do another ultrasound, which was hilarious, by the way. It was like a 35-year-old girl. Like a woman who's like our age. Do not come. Who is putting hot goo on my balls. Just me and her in this room. It's super awkward. Hot goo on my balls.

and rubbing the little wand on it. And then just asking me like, does that feel good about my career? She was a big workaholics fan. Does that feel good? She likes modern family a lot. Uh, so that was super weird. Right. Uh,

And then and then now there's evidently fluid in my right testicle. Yeah. They do the testicle. Yeah. What? Yeah, I don't know. I'm sorry to laugh. Do what? Wait, what? I don't know. But the Internet says that shouldn't be too painful. But I am in a lot of pain.

So what internet like Reddit, like what are you, where are you looking? Are you looking in your comment section of Instagram? So now I have to go to a urologist and they couldn't get me into a urologist for another week. So I have to like live, live this life for a whole, whole other week, which is,

So cool. I think a homie of mine in high school had this same thing happen. He thought he was pulling his groin all the time, and then he got it checked out and found out he had fluid. Is that a hernia? No, I don't know if he had his ball removed. What?

I can't remember if he had his ball removed, but he definitely had to have a surgery where they went in there and did something. Yeah, they said it could be surgery. I'm pissed now. I don't know. Let me see it. I'll see if it's the same. Okay. You want to see it?

You want to see it? No, no. You want to see it? On our own time. You want to see it? That was decades ago, Anders. We might have advanced in medical surgery by now. Either way, I got to see it. Yeah, come on. Nope, not today. Let's take a look at it. And so you've just been sitting around with a heat pad on it, huh? On your jock. Yeah, it actually feels all right right now. Let me see it. Sometimes, usually later on in the day. Let's see it.

like by the end of the day i'm laying there and i have to have the heat pad on it and we'll facetime later it uh it it really sucks because like more fluid gets down there by the end of the day is it kind of like when you weigh yourself in the morning there's no fluid i have no idea i have no idea you're gonna have you gotta learn the science of your body dude i should probably take a look sorry i can't because as soon as i start to web md

I'm like, oh, my nut is going to twist itself in a knot and fall off like a balloon animal. That's what it said on WebMD. It told me to put a chip clip on the tip of my nut sack and just kind of see what happens. Toastitos chip clip. Does your balls feel better in the morning, at night? Like when is it the most –

filled with fluid, if you had to say. I feel like there's no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes I'm like, sometimes it'll hurt so fucking bad. Baby, there ain't no rhyme or reason to my dick, baby. You're going to love this. And sometimes it'll feel great, and then other times I'm like, oh, it feels like I was just kicked in the nuts by a person with a... You got to stop fair gunning your balls, too. With a pointy-toed shoe. It feels better. It really sucks. It sucks.

Yo, remember the video we watched in the Borkahawks writers room of like a guy's nutsack getting boxed through a hole? We definitely talked about this. We could talk about it again. I love. That's what it feels like. Speed bagging his nuts. Do you think that would help or make it worse? I bet it wouldn't.

I'm living in a nightmare. Just right now, just thinking about that, I don't think it would help, but I'm willing to give it a shot for TII Nation. By the way, any movie where somebody speeds bag nuts is my favorite movie. I think there's just a handful. A handful? We got to speed bag it. Wait, are we talking about motion pictures or is Anders talking about...

Not internet to close. Legit movies where somebody's doing... I think it's Hot Shots Part 2, maybe? Wait, you mean an actual nutsack? Or a... Or like somebody's pants.

No, no, no, no. We're the speed back. We did it in workaholics. We literally did it in workaholics. We're like, Ders has numbing spray. Yes, that is right. Because I think we saw it on Hot Shots. And then somebody's phone went off. Yeah. Didn't you hit it and somebody's phone went off on set? And we were like, kind of perfect. Wait. And we kept it. We're like. And then we added it in post. Wait. Or did we? We wrote it in. I think we wrote it. Yes, I think we wrote it. Is that right? Yes, I think so.

Oh, okay. Yeah, because we're like, it has to ding when we hit it. And we're like, why would that ever happen? And we're like, what if somebody's phone went off right when you hit it? And then so like we go, whoa, did your phone go off? I remember loving that bit. And then we, like the three of us lost our minds when that happened. Like on the day, like these three fucking idiots were like, oh. Are you up and out?

Yeah. And, you know, it didn't go down in history, but we're still talking about it. Hey, man. Hey, funny show. They should do a movie. We're writing it. I'll buzz ball to that, man. This one goes out to you. Hey, way to show us not the buzz ball. Thank you. It's unbelievable.

Unbelievable. He's just showing us the nutrition information, the Surgeon General's warning about Buzz Balls. Thanks, man. Yeah. Does it cause cancer? I don't know. Well, hey, there are some cool facts about Buzz Balls company that I'd love to let you know. Oh, please. I think we've got time for none.

It's a Texas company, and it's also women-owned. It says on the box it's women-owned, which is pretty freaking sick. I don't know if I like that. Buzz balls? What? So women are moving into the ball sphere? Oh, and you don't like that? I guess it's okay. Everything's changing. Okay, thank you. Go off, queen. Okay, here we go. I'm going to buzz it up. It's buzz time. Dursie's uterus cups. Up, up.

Is this your- Oh my god! Slammin' it. Yeah. Loves it. I don't like that. I don't like the chili. So you don't like a woman-owned company? Is that what you're saying? So you're saying you don't like woman-owned companies. And that's been well documented now. No, I do. I just don't- Allegedly! I don't think the chili mango is my flavor. Dude.

Allegedly. Dude, puke right now. I dare you. Yeah. No, it's done. We went past it. We went past it and we're back. I think you got to chase it with the chocolate one. I sweat out of my face. Is it still hot in LA? Like it's not even from my forehead. It's sweating out of like my under eyes at that point. Yeah. I might have a problem. And that is that from the chili mango or that's because it's still 111 degrees. A little bit of both. I love that you guys are in the same city. Not,

that far from each other. A little distance, but not too far. Ders is currently wearing a sweater. Blake is sweating. It's called a sweatshirt. Wearing a sweatshirt. Sweating.

Blake is sweating, wearing a tank top, and he doesn't have his AC on still, right? A week later. Flex your power. Okay. Are you going to turn it on today? I will after 9 o'clock. Actually, now it's 10 o'clock. Newsom says we can't turn it off until after 10.

After 10 a.m.? No, p.m. Peak hours. Peak hours. That doesn't make sense to me because it cools off at night, so just open your windows all night long. Yeah, night is when you can... Yeah, exactly. During the day is when you need the AC. Exactly. Peak hours and...

You're not allowed to run your AC during peak hours. But the peak hours, if everybody's allowed to turn it on at the same time later, then that becomes the peak hour. It's exactly what you're saying. At that point, it's cool. So really what he's saying is you're not allowed to run your fucking shit, okay? Okay, but yeah, but also she's not the fucking boss of you, dude. Just fucking fire up that AC. Don't let him down. Don't let him down for a new life.

I pray allegiance to Newsome. Just put it on downstairs where you're at. Don't do the whole house. I have it on in this room only. Okay, yeah. That's the way to do it. I don't have... What would you call that? Central heating? How do you do, like, room by room? It's got, like... Mine's all or nothing.

Nathan. Nathan for you? Okay, yeah. In LA, I have an upstairs and a downstairs unit. Yeah, I should have that. I have like a splitter. A splitter for like four different sections of the crib. You gotta get yourself a splitter, dog. Right. I do. Didn't I send you my guy? You did. Yeah. You did. So...

So did you not get a sweater? Shout out to Daniel, the AC dude. HVAC, man. HVAC rocks. And it needs to be done. You didn't pay for AC, did you, Blake? Right. I was a little late. I was a little late. And we're almost through it. And we're going to get through it. Are you a climate warrior? It's going to be okay. Are you a climate warrior? Is that what's happening? No, no. Blake is just cheap. He's not a climate warrior. He's just a cheap fuck. I just want to party.

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Check out more national sales and deals when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places. I remember you guys being so like legitimately mad at me when I'm going to fight back. Go ahead. Go on. When we lived together, everyone was legit. And it wasn't just you. It was also Kyle and Adam and Haley, our other roommates. Yeah, they're legit. They all had work.

And we did have a one side of the house, other side of the house situation at the workaholics. We had a splitter. And I just called the side that was my bedroom and I,

It was, I'm home. I didn't have a job. Just say the words. And it was 112 degrees. He's improv-ing. Yeah. I'm riffing. Hot, hot, hot. It was 112 degrees. I'm home alone. Your audition? I was like, I can't fucking stand this. I'm auditioning for Home Alone.

So I turned the AC on just on my side of the house, and they were furious. So mad at me. Yeah, bro. Listen, these guys are from the Bay. Okay, say it again. Where you don't need AC up there, right? You guys didn't grow up with AC. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The Bay Area gets extremely fucking hot.

For like two hours of the day. Well, not San Francisco is climate cool, but we are outside of the city in like the suburbs. It gets so motherfucking hot. Oh, so now you're admitting it. So now you're admitting it. So you're not from the Bay. Okay, so we finally caught you. Because you guys... He's like, I'm actually from Reno. You guys for years, I was like, where are you guys from? Before I visited their home, they were like, yeah, Oakland, basically. Yeah, Oakland. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh shit, Oakland. Okay. Bakersfield counts. Oakland. And then I went and visited. I'm like, dude, this is almost identical to my suburban upbringing in Omaha, Nebraska. I'm like minus the sweltering heat. Dude, I'm a Bay area inclusionist. I'll say San Jose is the Bay. Sacramento is the Bay. I'll go all the way to San Diego is the Bay area.

But, okay. Worldwide bae. Worldwide bae, okay? Okay, but you didn't say the bae. You would say, you guys would say Oakland. And I'm like, oh, you guys are from Oakland. And then I get there and I'm like, this is Concord, California. This isn't Oakland at all. I'm like, okay, well, where's Oakland? Let's go there. Maybe we go out there tonight. And you guys are like, oh, that is an hour away. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to go to a bar with cowboy boots stapled to the ceiling. Clayton. Oh, my God. Dude. Okay. So like this is where Tom Hanks grew up.

The way I have told people where I'm from has evolved. But when you're in Los Angeles and you're describing the truth, come on, dude. Ders, you probably say I'm from Chicago. I don't. And you know that about me. You probably used to. Never did. Oh,

Okay, fine. Ders, here's your gold. Here's your sign. I'm just saying because I'm not from there. Okay, so if you go, hey, where are you from? Evanston. And people are like, Evanston, England? Where the fuck is Evanston? Nobody's ever heard of that. You say Illinois. And by the way, this is like a litmus test for somebody who actually wants to know where I'm from or not. If I go, I'm from Evanston, Illinois. No one actually wants to know. Hey, Ders.

I did. That's crazy. Hey, I did. I'm saying if you're not trying to have a whole fucking geography lesson, there's like you give people the basic idea. But the easy follow up is where's that? And I go, it's just outside Chicago, Illinois. And they go, oh, OK, cool. Or they know Northwestern. Yes, I've been or they're huge Jeremy Piffin fans, guys.

You act like this shit doesn't happen. The huge fans of the PIV. I've evolved towards that. Now I tell people, if they say, hey, where are you from? I say, oh, like Bay Area, East Bay. No. Just say Concord, where Tom Hanks is not from. And then say Concord, New Hampshire. There's more than one Concord. I know. And then you just go, no, actually California. It's from the Bay. If you didn't become successful and famous to where people actually know the truth,

You would have never evolved. It's the fact that someone for sure called you out. Someone was like, "Where are you from?" And you're like, "Uh, Oakland." And he's like, "No, you're from Concord, dude." And you're like, "Oh, yeah." I wish Kyle was here. I feel like he could speak on this.

You know what? Yeah, part of it was, yes, I need to represent specifically Conker, but Conker more on the map because it is important to me. This is important? Yeah.

This is important? By the way, I'm out here raising awareness. I'm already repping it. I see you in your sweater, you motherfucker. Flex your power, you son of a bitch. You need to turn that fucking shit off because I'm sweating. You need to sweat. It's 112 degrees. All I'm doing is I'm sweating through my tank top. Trash talk. Trash talk. Represent. Hold it up in a more harder way to read. Yeah, okay, cool. Great. Go ahead. Yeah, you are sweating so badly.

Bro, the mango chili buzz ball is fucking with me. Hit in. What is the temperature right now currently where you're at? I mean, it has to. Can you turn on the AC and just see what it reads inside your home? 89 out here. I'm going to be honest. I pulled the AC unit off the wall. It's incapable.

We're at least at 90. It's 90 in LA where you're at. Okay, it's one of the cooler days. In Evanston, Illinois, it's 80 degrees. How is it in Concord, New Hampshire? Well, I have my shit set up. You look at your own damn phone. Okay, well, can you check Concord, New Hampshire? 77 in Madison. I bet it's a beautiful day. Okay, and this is Weather Talk, a new... Join us on This Is Important for Weather Talk.

64 in Vancouver. That shit's important. A new segment here on This Is Important. If you thought luggage... If you liked luggage talk, and if you couldn't get enough of tech talk... If you thought pickleball was an exciting sport, welcome to weather talk. Oh, it's raining mobile.

Shout out to Mobile. I know this is like three weeks away, but if it's still raining, we see you and we're sorry it's raining out there. By the way, when I was in Mobile, they go, did you know that this is the rainiest place in the United States over Seattle? And guys, it blew my mind and I said, I got to share that on the pod. Shut up. You're like, shut up. I have to get on the pod. That shit's important. I have to get on the pod.

Five months later and shut up. I got to keep it a hundred up five to six months later I have to get on the pod and tell my boys about I ran right off a dolphin I do remember what I wanted to say though and half of the reason why I don't turn my shit Look how close he is to the camera right now back the fuck up, man. I don't need all that. I do I do I gotta get up on this mic and

The weather is only going to get more disastrous. You got a climate warrior.

I am preparing my family. Okay, Leonardo DiCaprio. I am preparing my family for not only blackouts of electricity. You got it, but even hotter weather. Are you preparing them by buying a generator for your home? Do you drive a Prius? Because if you get a generator, it's all going away.

We're doomsday prepping right now. See, no, no, no. It's your frugality that you're dealing with. You're not a doomsday prepper. No. All this is a facade. You'd rather say you're a doomsday prepper than saying you're a...

Daddy prepped us for doomsday. We got a box of fuzz balls. If you're cold, drink one of these. You'll sweat out the bottom of your eyes. Drink a fuzz ball. It'll warm you right up. If you're cold, drink one. If you're hot, drink one.

No matter the temp, if we get drunk enough, we won't feel it. Oh my God. I like how you're like, look, we got to prepare for this. Or just like, we're problem solving. We're figuring out ways. Like, yeah, get that Tesla Powerwall put in the crib, man. I'm going to get a generator for, uh,

For my house, I think. I think I am. Because they're saying, like, these... We're gonna start getting, like... Rolling blackouts. Rolling blackouts. Not for me. And I bet it's gonna be a normal thing in L.A. now. Oh, yeah. And imagine you have... Like, Durs has a Tesla. You're like... Suddenly you, like, can't drive your fucking car. Exactly. You can't go anywhere. It's quite the catch-22, isn't it? Get the generator. Yep. That's what you gotta do. Get the Jenny. Wow.

What do you mean? I just think with every solution, we're creating other problems. Okay, but if you get a generator, then you can generate enough electricity to power your home for...

Weeks and weeks. You get the solar power roof. Okay. But we're speaking about just us. I'm talking globally. I just think we need a global solution. Oh, so you want to control everyone? Is that what you want to do? You want to tell everyone what to do? No, I don't want to control everyone. Lead by example. Hey, but Blake, you're not in charge though. You're only...

in charge of your home. I know I'm not, but I can only do what I do. Climate warrior. But you have to lead by example, don't you? That's what I just said. So you're leading by example is just sitting in the heat and the dark with your family. Is sitting in the heat. Yes. Like maybe a Native American would do. I want to do it the old school way.

I want to do it the old school way. No electricity. Interesting. Other than my ring light. Your infant baby is just boiling hot because it's 115 degrees. No, dude. Okay. Okay. We keep the baby room cool, dude. I turn. So you do have a splitter.

Interesting. No, there's... Come on, man. I got a system figured out. There's a bunch of buzz balls under the crib. There's a lot of holes in your story. Now you're pulling back the facade. If you want to see the Undertaker talk, come on, man. But look, man. You want to see it?

You want to see it? I'm playing a character right now. A little bit. Not really. I'm sweating. Of a climate warrior? I'm sweating. I know. I know. Are you spritzing your shirt below camera with water? Man, it is really hot here. It's a bit, guys. Okay? It is really hot. Yeah. Your nine-year-old daughter is underneath the table spritzing you. Ugh.

I feel like at this point, now it's a flop sweat out of anxiety because I'm being backed into a corner. By the way, I got diagnosed recently.

With what? Anxiety? No, my therapist says I have ADD. Sure. Sure. This is like... Everybody does. You guys are just like, sure? That was like a huge revelation. Why do people not know what they have? Also, I need to shave my head. Just shave the back of your neck so it's a buzz. So this is new. You're going to a therapist like Tony Soprano? Wait, did Tony have ADD? No, Tony goes to a therapist. I thought you were going to say, wait, did Tony go to a therapist?

Sensateer. No, went to a therapist, dude. So you're going, how often do you go to this therapist? Every Monday. Really? Every week?

Yeah. I mean, what dude, this isn't, I know. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know you have never, but no, I've never, I go individual couple, you name it. I'll do it. But this is the first time I've been told I have a DD Rando. I'll just crash somebody else. I'll just go talk to a homeless man and be like, tell me what's wrong with me, brother. A therapist can diagnose you. Can I go to a therapist? How easy is it? Can I go and then have them, uh,

BetterHelp.com. Walk into the room with your dick in your hand. You could talk to your buzz ball and they will tell you. Have them diagnose my ball situation. If you talk to your buzz ball. Be like, hey, my right nut hurts all the time. You have ADD. Is it ADD or ball cancer? Good boy.

I wish Kyle was here to help me out. God damn, this is the one episode I just really need Kyle here for me. I like Kyle on all episodes. Are we talking better help? Better help therapy? It's not better help therapy, but gosh darn if it doesn't work. Well, this is great, Blake. I like this. How long have you been doing this? Dude, I've been going to therapy for...

a decade at least. Even when we were doing workaholics, you were going once a week? Started, actually. Yeah, that's what broke me, dude. I had to talk about you guys, son of a bitch. Oh, wow, that's incredible. Should I start doing that? I don't know. I've gone to therapy. You've got to go just to like...

see what it's all about. Well, I'm re-watching Sopranos right now and I'm like, I'm Tom Clough and I'm like, this looks kind of fun. I kind of want to go in. Dude, it's a blast. I feel like, Adam, you would just like... Start entertaining the therapist? I don't know. Part of me thinks maybe you go twice a month and then save that money and then use AC. Well, Adam, I often like... Adam...

I just feel like I can't move in my house. I'm just so clammy. I'm just so hot all the time. I feel like I'm so hot all the time. As your therapist, I don't want to tell you how to spend your money, but... But Adam, what I have always loved about you, or what at least I'm just stoked for you, is you do have the ability to just be...

let shit roll off your back. Like you're, you're stoked on life all the time. Like it always feels like you, you find a way to positive spin, but Blake, let's be honest. It rolls off his back, but then all that stuff builds up in his butt. Yeah. And that's why your balls are about to explode. He has so much anxiety. Okay.

All the tension has seeped into my asshole and then up through the asshole into my testicles. That's the liquid that's in my right nut. Adam, maybe you do need to just like fucking jab it and do a pressure release. I don't know. But I will say that like I admire the way like I that's what I get from your friendship is like sometimes you take me back to reality where it's like shit is not that as bad as you build up in your mind.

No. No, it never really is, for the most part, unless someone's dying. Well, it usually isn't. And then they die, and it's like, okay. And then you're like, on to the next one. My favorite Jay-Z song. And then it's a Swizz Beatz versus... You play that Jay-Z song, and...

And you say, boomer, they're dead. On to the next one. I got it, Millie, when you get it. Dude, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think you do know. He just told you. Yes. If you need to talk about your shit, maybe that's like the second or third chapter of your life where you get introspective and you start to really figure out what the fuck's been going on. I don't know. Your life is such a hurricane of...

Fucking look at you're so busy and all that shit. And maybe you want to touch down and think about it. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I could see. I could see doing it. I'm not not opposed to it or anything. I've just always been like, I just did. I haven't felt like I needed it. But but during when my dad was sick. Yeah, dude. There's just like a lot of things stacking up. I was like, oh, maybe I do need to talk to someone. Yeah. And then I just didn't.

But... And your butt got bigger. My ass just grew two sizes.

I couldn't fit into a suit this past week. But yeah, no, I think it's cool. I don't think it's bad at all. No, I don't think you... I'm not saying you guys think it's bad. It's just like, I don't know. It's just as we get older and then like real life shit is just always on the horizon now. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think it's helpful when you become a parent, it's helpful to understand more about yourself. And so then you know how to like...

what you would do to like raise your kids differently than you were raised or like when you feel certain impulses, you just know when to stop. Yeah. Blame your parents. You're like, so my dad used to hit me with a belt. Is that good or not?

Dude, I remember I told my therapist, I was like, dude, all we're going to do is like shit on my parents. I don't want to do it anymore. Like, like this is stupid. Like I don't blame them because I love my mom and dad. I think they freaking rock. I think they did the best they could, but like, they're like,

Like, but there is, they're like, it's not about shitting on them. It's just like, that was the way you were, they programmed you and they were probably programmed a certain way. And all therapy does is like, understand how you're programmed, maybe reprogramming, whatever. Do you have a relationship like Tony Soprano had with his, this is the most I know about, uh, right.

is Tony Soprano talking to his therapist. I think it's exactly like that for everybody. Like you kind of want to fuck. At one point you've kissed. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Yeah.

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No, I haven't had a therapist that I've been with forever. I like I wish I could say like, yo, man, I got like I got the guy or whatever. I've got a decade worth of work with this person and they've just been absolutely perfect for me. But I don't know. Sometimes it it it could just be like a one off where it's just somebody listening to you and like asking you questions that other people don't ask you.

Right. Yeah. Well, I get it. It's especially talking to like, I'll ask you, give me a call. I'm not trying to talk to you. Dude,

Dude, I would love being a therapist. Durs would be actually a good therapist because he would just go right to your core every fucking time. Yeah, dude. There's a bit of that. There's a bit of that. Like, it might feel cold-blooded, but sometimes they just got to, like, just put the mirror in your face. They have the soundboard and they just keep hitting it. They keep going, oh, yeah, the bitch. You're like, okay, yep. Yeah.

I guess I was being a bitch. I got to keep it 100. I got to keep it 100. Do not come. I would love to be a therapist and be like, yeah, just don't do that. Yeah, just definitely. I feel like that's how I would be a therapist too. I'd be like, well, just don't overeat then if that's your problem.

Just stop doing that. It's been 10 minutes. You can go. Okay, so then as your patient, when I do do that, then all of a sudden I'm like, fuck, why am I such a fuck up, dude? Like my therapist told me, all you have to do is not do that. Why did I do that? Well, it's not doing it 80% of the time. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a lot of forgiving yourself. You can do cocaine, just not all the time, dude. Yeah.

You could do hard drugs, just not all the time. You're a great therapist, Adam. Yeah.

You're a great therapist. If you cannot do that stuff 80% of the time, you're probably in pretty good shape. You're doing good. Welcome to Adam's couch where Adam tells you just don't do that 80% of the time. Don't do it like 80, 85% of the time. We're taking your calls live now. Hey, whatever you do, don't walk in a room with a dick in your hand. I've got an eating disorder. I can't help it. What do I do?

But do you eat too much or you don't eat at all? I don't. I eat too much and then I go and I purge. What do I do? I eat because I'm unhappy. Okay. Well, you're going to want fake teeth because I bet your teeth are gross as fuck. I bet they're like brown. Awesome.

And then also mouthwash for sure. You're going to want that. And then also just don't eat that much. Just don't eat that much. 80% of the time? I would say 80% of the time. I was just waiting for the thing we talked about for 10 minutes. Okay.

I'm like, oh, and so your bit is? Snapchat, never. Nope, not gonna do it. Yeah, no, no, no. I would say like maybe five days a week, don't eat a ton. And then on the weekend, you can just kind of do whatever you want. Thank you, God. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, God.

Yeah, on the weekend you can do cocaine, go to orgies, and eat at buffets. I feel like we just found out what Blake was going for. I just, uh, I was going to orgies and buffets. Well, maybe don't do that 80% of the time. Yeah, it's just 80% of the time you just don't do that, and then you just pick one day to go to orgies and eat at buffets.

I wish my shit was that exciting. I just have ADD. Yeah. Just like can't concentrate. I just can't get my calendar right. I mean, did you get on pills for that? Well, that's the thing is – Oh, can I get your Addy? Can you hook me up? Oh, my God. What?

I wouldn't mind an Adderall plug. Give me a hell yeah! I feel like I've said this on the pod. In college, they were like, why are you so stupid? And I was like, I don't know. And then they put me on something, Ritalin or whatever the other ones are. And I shot through...

the roof yeah and was like this is crazy and then i just gave him away to like some dudes do you think you were misdiagnosed like you don't have a mister that's mr diagnosed isn't it right if you have add adderall like levels you out right yeah exactly it makes you like chill and you're able to just concentrate and like you know how a normal person right but if you don't because

If you're just stupid, it turns out to be cocaine. Yeah. Which is why I loved it. No, that's what my therapist said. She was like, yo, you like cocaine, don't you? And I'm like, no, actually, I don't at all. And she was like, oh, forget it then. Because I was just going to hang out. She had a tray of it. Oh, never mind. No.

You like cocaine, don't you? I'm like, I would like to make out with you. She's like, this is a Zoom. This is a Zoom. You're a fucking bummer. You are my guma now. Dude, I don't know. I don't know. So to answer your question, I did not get any medication because one of my...

I don't know. One of my main fucking hangups, and I know this is like something that everybody's trying to dispel nowadays. Air conditioning? I don't want to use air conditioning, and I don't want to take a medication that will change who I am because part of me really thinks like the reason I'm humorous or who I am is because my brain is chemically imbalanced. Can I tell you something?

No. You're not funny. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Because it's like, okay, so if I change a fundamental thing about me, which makes me me. That I've been for almost 40 years. But then you'll be just an unfunny good person.

So what's the trade-off? You're like, you'll be like a nice truck driver. No, no, no. A different person. You'll just be a truck driver with zero jokes. Yes, points!

So what is the A and B? Is that why you can't, like you're such a bad driver? Is that like part of it? No, I'm not a bad driver. Well, maybe. Yeah, you are. Like direction? Yeah. Like direction? That's part of driving, yes. I mean, you're not hitting stuff all the time. You're not like bad. But we know how to drive a car. But like you do, when we're all going to the same place, which happens, it used to happen all the time when we were on work all exude, I'll be like, okay, we're all going to take our cars and we're all meet there. Yeah.

And then it would be like, Ders and I are there. And then 15, 20 minutes later, you'd pull up and you're like, how'd you guys get here? And we're like, we just drove straight here. Yeah. And you would just take like a loop to do her out or whatever.

Well, that's also because I kind of drive like a grandma. Well, you do, but... I was waiting for it. I drive very slow in the slow lane. I'm just not in a rush to places. I would love passing you on the freeway on the way to work. I'd be like, whoop, there goes Blake. And I'm just like... But also, dude, you want to know why... Where the hell... Remember we all left one house? I think it was while we were actually house hunting for Hamlin.

All five of us. For the workaholics house. Yes. Adam.

Haley, me, you, and Kyle, we all took separate cars to go look at a house somewhere like I think it might have been Culver City. And you're worried about air conditioning with the environment? Go ahead. This was a while back. This was before global warming. This was before he cared. Before he became a climate warrior. Yeah. Now we're at the brink. Now we're at the brink of destruction. Because of you. But I got a speeding ticket because

Because I hit the gas because we were going to be late to the showing. So you got a speeding ticket one time and now you can't drive the speed limit? Yeah, dude. It fucking got me, dude. The cop smacked my hand and I said, yes, sir. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Sorry. Sorry about it. Well, that's cool. That's cool that you're, I mean, I wonder if I have ADD. I do. I might have ADD.

Well, I know like a lot. That's the thing is like also. But I don't because Adderall doesn't affect me in a positive, in like the normal way. I love it in the fact that it just gives me a ton of energy and I'm like. I don't think you can say I don't have this because this drug doesn't affect me that much.

way. Okay, doctor. There's an indicator. Dr. Buzzball. Dr. Brozarks. I don't even know, man. Because I know that a lot of people will be like, oh, we all have ADD. Or like, oh, all of a sudden everybody is being diagnosed with these things that we never used to have. Right. But like, I don't know. I mean, we're all doing like self...

What is it? Analyzation? What's the word? Analyzing? Self-analyzing. Analyzation. Sure, we'll take it. We're looking in our anuses more than anybody. I was talking to my parents the other day and I was like, because one of our kids is just wiling out now that school started, transition, whatever. It's wild. And I was like, did your dad ever talk about when I was wiling out? And she was like, no.

we never really talked about parenting and I was like yeah sick like what a different era dude we're from a we're like just on the fucking crack of like the generation of parenting that did not really like go in and analyze anything

Yeah. It was just like, dude, just go play. Just go play. We are the millennials are the last generation that their parents really didn't. I'm Gen X. And it wasn't that they didn't care. I think our parents all loved us. Yeah. They just didn't know. They just didn't know. Like my parents never talked about how to raise me. They were just like, yeah, go play in the alleyway. Right. Yeah. Go ride your bike somewhere. Uh,

and just get out of my hair for a few hours. - Right. - Yeah, but it's like main concern, don't die. - Don't get kidnapped because your ass is on and popping even then. - Right. - Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and you're gonna come back a strong boy.

Adam was so... Adam, the fact that you weren't kidnapped is insane. It is. Dude, it's crazy. A little boy with that bubble butt. With that fucking just sticking out, just wiggling and waggling. How did somebody not... Licking a lolly? Just slurping down a bomb pop. Just deep-throating a bomb pop.

How did somebody not scoop your little fleshlight ass up? I don't know, dude. It's fucking absurd. It is absurd. We're back!

God damn, you're lucky, man. You're lucky. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I was... I don't think I was that cute of a kid, honestly. I think I looked like a little hedgehog, you know? I had, like, a little mullet. I had some sidesteps. I feel... That was regional. That's regional for you. It was that ass that... They would have had to zero in on that.

you know, mouthwatering. I was wearing big Tasmanian devil shirts and,

You're not describing my dream woman. I mean, can you imagine? Big-ass Taz shirt. Hey, baby. Let's hit the club, baby. The way Adam's booty looked in those Zubaz pants. Can you imagine? Let's just say I filled out the MC Hammer pants. The only guy that can fill out a parachute pants. Zip it. Should we do take-backs and look-alikes while...

while we're still feeling good? Not lookalikes, Dead Ringers. Dead Ringers in honor of Kyle who gave the best Emmy speech a couple weeks ago. That was good. We think. We're not sure. We don't know. Secret. See ya. Didn't watch it. Not a fan. Didn't watch it. Blake, did you want to just as this is prescient prescient do you want to say some words about Queen Elizabeth, Blake? Uh

Oh, yeah. Like a couple of weeks later. Honestly, I think this the whole Queen Elizabeth thing was so like thing hot like her life or what? Like what do you mean? Her whole angle. Her whole 96 years of life or what? I think it was just like very eye opening to the.

The way everything is moving as a society. When Queen Elizabeth died, I think news networks was like, oh yeah, this is going to be a hot news day because we're going to really honor her and all this shit. And it's going to just be like, dude, she's 96. We've been building up to this. But then social media was just...

dunking on her so hard, dude. Yeah, they really were. That poor woman. Like what? What'd they say? I didn't see it. Oh, dude, it's just like fucking wrecking her. Yeah, dude, she's just beginning, ran through on all social media. Like everything is just like... What's one example? I mean, I know you got to dig back two weeks. When I said dunking, it was literally like they had like...

photoshopped like Charles head on like um like DeAndre Jordan dunking on that one dude and turning that into Queen Elizabeth so it's like just like nuts on her head like so literally literally dunking yes they were literally dunking on her I saw the one which made me giggle

where it's the undertaker and it was she rises he rises up yeah it was when Meghan Markle visits Queen Elizabeth at the viewing and then she just like snatches her neck and comes back alive she's so weird and I don't even get what that means because I don't know anything about these people but I laughed at

I think she must not like that girl from Suits, but by the end I think it was like well I don't know it gets all into like it was like the interracial marriage of it and then like the Queen Evidently wasn't hyped on it. So like everybody's like fuck her her words I'm just not hyped on this interracial I'm not hyped on this matrimony

I'll die before I see my boy in an interracial marriage. I'm just not hyped. And then they assassinated her. Doesn't Meghan Markle have like a talk show now? We gotta get on that. I hope so. We need her on the pod. Dude, the fact that she hasn't hit us up right away is nuts. Isn't that weird? I think she owns Buzzballs. It is woman owned. The crazy part about Meghan Markle is like,

We could just know her. Markle, Merkle. She was whatever her name is. We could just know her. She was just like an actress who was like the sixth lead on Suits. You probably had a Leslie Kahn class with her, Adam, and don't even remember. I bet I did. I bet I was in an acting class. I bet you were in an acting class. I bet. I know I wasn't. I bet she auditioned for Workaholics. I bet we could go in the craze. Dude, that would be amazing. And she's just like –

playing like... She was going to play the stripper that winked her butthole at me in the Playdazium at Dante's Pizza Palace. Alice. She might have been Alice, dude. Who knows? Alice Markle. Alice Markle. Hey guys, that was another episode of...

This is important. Did you have a take back? Did I bore him? I got a million ways of getting this. This is me and therapy. Louder, boy. Me and therapy. Is that not enough? I'm on to the next one. I'm on to the next one. I'm on to the next one. Dang, that came in hot. Yeah, it does. That song fucking rocks. Wow.

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