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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important... Poop comes out of there. We were like, we don't care. We don't care. That's bootylicious to me. Look, if you don't understand the supply chain of this greenwash, you're a dumb phone, you video doorbell. Go microgrid yourself.
What is the definition of jiggy? I will be able to tell you everything that is wrong with you. Buckle up. Yeah. We're coming in cold today. Freezing. Very cold. Very cold. Dude, we got a full boat. We got a full boat. Kyle, welcome back. Kyle, spend your free of luck.
Friendship. Thank you guys. Thank you so much for having me on. This is important. I really appreciate you guys having me here. Oh, having you. Absolutely. Welcome back. Having you. It's your podcast. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I've missed you tremendously. How many did we do without you? I don't know. I don't know. That's a good question.
That's three. Only you can answer. I want to say four. I want to say four. Yeah. Solid month. He dipped his toe back in and then dipped again. Yeah. Dippy whip. Yeah. Had to just, you know, schedules. But how are your toes? My toes are cold. Okay. My toes are currently cold. Really? Why? Okay. Well, the water's warm. Get in. Please get in. Yeah. Well, I don't have socks. Okay. You're out of socks? Okay. I don't have them on right now.
Currently. Let's talk some sponsors. Well, we're talking figurative. We were talking figurative toes. Currently, there they are. Oh, you need to charge money if you're going to show up. Those big check feet. Here's some hot, hot content. Are you flat footed? You look very flat footed. Yes, sir. I'm flat footed as fuck, dude. Put that back up there. Put that back up there. Here we go. Yeah, what the fuck? Oh, what is going on? That's a goddamn wall right there, dude. Will you crinkle it? Wow, dude. And let's explain it for the people who aren't watching. Yeah, right.
Describe it. His feet are gross. Yeah, there's a bunch of weird shit at the bottom. My feet look way more disgusting than your feet. Really? Well, if we're talking like gross feet, I think I guarantee I have the grossest feet of our crew. Let's see them. Yeah. Adam, that's why I love living with you back in the day because I would see your feet all the time. Because no matter how gross your feet were. Yours were more gross? I remember thinking like, Adam.
Adams are fucked. Adams' toenail situation is, you know, I mean, we know what you've been through and he can't even get his damn leg up.
Oh, that looks like, oh my God. This is like a monkey paw, bro. Jesus. Oh yeah. Oh my. Hey, why don't you go snatch some salmon, bro? Good Lord almighty. What is that on the side? Yo, what's on the side? That looks like cement. Dude, that's where I get the staph infection every once in a while and have to go to the hospital. Wait.
Wow, dude. That's my staph infection zone. You get way-o'd? I get way-o'd by staph infections all the time. Adam wins. Those are the most fucked up feet on the pod. Yeah, dude. And you didn't even see the toenails, dude. And the toenails have gotten grosser, dude. Oh, my God. Yeah, no. Yeah. Like, you know how one was, like, all green and weird looking? Now, I would say eight of my nine toes are gross. Because we have nine.
Yes, because one was in the bathtub. Because one fell off when I was jerking off in the bathtub. Of course. Right. Well documented. You have eight green toenails. And what's the one that's really nice? Let me look at them again. Let me look at them again. What's the deal with that one? Where's that little piggy going? Yeah, where's that? That one's going to the damn market, baby. That little piggy likes roast beef.
The rest of your foot is roast beef. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're all fucked? Okay, I take it back. They're all fucked. One, two, three, four, five, six are gross, and I got three pretty nice little nibs. Okay, I like that. Yo, put them on the cam for the YouTubers. I can't. My feet don't...
Dude. Don't you normally lift your leg up super high? Yeah, I thought you were like... Yeah, you know what? Watch this. Uh-oh, the desk's moving down. The desk is moving down. You're on camera. Come on. Dude, I tore my fucking groin, dude. I'm currently in a lot of pain. Yeah.
I think I'm hanging out with some of you guys tonight. We're going to go on a party bus tonight. You're going to see. I might wear a back brace. I might wear a back brace tonight. Dude, you might wear a back brace. Is that what you said? Oh, my God. Adam and Kyle are rocking back braces. Oh, that one's nice. Look at that. Wait, is that your arm?
The one next to the big one is pretty nice. Whose arm is that? It does look like an arm. That's a really wild shot. Dude, this is going to get us flagged on YouTube. Like, we're fucked, dude. This episode is not going up. And then look at this. This is a gnar-gnar. And then look at the little... My God, dude. Your toes are long. Yeah, bro. God damn, dude. Yeah.
You know what they say. You know what they say, right? Yeah. What? What? If you got long toes. If you got long toes, it's weird. You know what they say. Yeah. I didn't know this was going to open up Pandora's box, bro. That's a lot of toe content, man. Dude, I come in. Hey, when you were showing those feet, I was like, and you guys were like giving him shit. I'm like, those look. I would love to have Kyle's feet. That's the worst. Yeah. Yeah.
Trust me, you don't. Oh, dude, I do. I'm sure that his smell worse than mine. Mine smell totally fine. Yeah, they're terrible. Well, they look like staff infection joints. Yeah, that smells nice. Yeah. Well, yes, yes, they do. They smell good. Now the toenails themselves, if you really get into the nails, probably don't smell that good. Admittedly. He said probably. He said probably. So here's my question. Have you thought
Have you thought about getting the nails surgically just taken off forever? Why would you do that? Can you do that? Is that something that you could do? Is that real, Ben? Yeah, that's what like ultra marathoners do. So they don't have to deal with like. Here we go. Marathon nail. Toenail getting ripped off in the middle of a race. That happens a lot?
Yeah. Cause hangnails are the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're just running for like 200 miles or whatever. And then your nail starts rubbing, rubbing on sooner or later after mile 70 or whatever cracks off, you're bleeding, you're dealing with that. You're getting closer to God. You're running from your problems. I knew about like, I knew about like nipples bleeding. That's a big thing with marathon runners. Their nipples bleed. Yeah. It's the biggest thing. Bloody nipples. That's a great bloody nipples, dude. If you're not bleeding out of your
How bloody do your nipples get on earth when you do a long race? Yeah, how fucking bloody. But you don't do like an ultra. You never ran like 100 miles or anything psychotic. I've run one marathon and it was big mistake. Yeah, it seems like the worst. Bloody ass nipples. Bloody nipples or what? Yeah, nips.
Definitely had some chafing. You get bloody nipples if you're out there for a longer time. If you're finishing under four hours, I don't think you're going to get bloody nipples. But if you're out there four plus. Ain't no time to bleed. You're going to have some chafing.
Yeah, because my nips get pretty raw back when I used to be a cyclist in my cycling days. Your boobs are huge. Right, because you're out there for a long time. Your jersey gets sweaty, and it's the material. And I know you've got some sharp dogs. Sharp ass titties. I do have sharp dogs. My nips are on and popping. That's solely because your shirt is rubbing against this material, huh? And that's why that's happening. What are we doing here? 69! What?
Well, that's why it gets bloody, right? Because it just keeps rubbing. Because it just rubs against the tip. We went from showing our feet to this? Perverted. I'm doing science. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. This is a perverted pod. Holy smokes, man. The ripping and the tearing. I'm just doing science over here, dude. That's it. I'm just fucking with science and biology. That's it, dog. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
This is hot. This is hot shit. Well, so would you consider getting those? Because they're heinous. They're gross, right? You're saying these are fake toenails that you install? Well, right. That's subjective. Yeah. I don't know. Nobody needs to see those. No, I think what Ders is saying is you can actually have the option nowadays to live without any toenails. Is that what you're saying? Well, why do we have them in the first place? What's their function? I don't know. But to protect your toes. I'm just trying to function. What do you mean? Like...
To protect your toes. And teeth. What's up with those? What do you mean protect your... From what?
What are your toenails shunting away? From P-52, the fucking mountain lion. In case you drop something on your feet, homie. You drop something on your feet. Right. You're out there in the gym, which I know you sneaky get it in. I know you sneaky get it in. He does. He does. Throwing some weight around. Dommer. Yeah, he does it. And you're out there sneakily getting it in. Not letting anyone know about it, but sneaky getting it in. You drop a weight in your haste.
It lands on your foot, hits your toes. The toes turn a black purpley. A blackish hue? I don't know about this. But your feet aren't broken. Your toes aren't broken. True. Because the shell. You think that's because of the toenail? Yeah, it helps. It's a little shock absorber. You think it's a helmet. Well, it's not a shock absorber. I think it's more of like a. A helmet. A helmet. It's a helmet. Yes. A helmet. How do you say helmet again, Kyle? Helmet.
It's a helmet. A helmet. Oh, boy. It's a helmet. It's a helmet. What am I saying? What am I saying? Yes. Yeah. What are you saying? Yeah.
We're asking you, bitch. We're asking you, yeah. We're wondering what the hell you're saying. I was saying, I'll just wipe my brain and I'll say the toenails are like a helmet. That's how I say it. Oh, so now you're wiping things. Okay. That was great. I say words wrong all the time, Kyle. But did I say helmet right? We can get back to toes. Did I say helmet right? Well, no, you're currently saying it wrong. You're still not saying it correct. You're saying helmet. I don't like when you know that you say it wrong. You're saying it with the eye. Yeah, yeah.
I'm fucking with y'all. Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with you guys. No, you're not. This is Kyle's new prank show. I'm fucking with you guys. Yeah, where he says words wrong. And then people are like, oh, you butchered that. He's like, I fucking got you. I got you, dude. You've been Kyle's. Now put on this helmet. I got you, dude. I don't actually say wash my hands. I guess it's just one of those days. Chill days. Did you have any teachers that said wash?
My Nana, my Nana said, why specifically teachers, teachers, because Mrs. Fucking Crutcher said, wash. I know, but say that. Don't ask us if we had it. I had a teacher. Well, that's not a normal thing for a teacher to ask you if, if you're going to wash your body. No, she said, wash your hands. The teacher's not asking me. You just shouldn't be talking about washing. Yeah.
Why is the teacher in the bathroom with you anyway? There's a sink in the classroom when you're doing science experiments. No, we're getting to it. You guys didn't have sinks in your classroom? No, no. For the record, we did, right? Adam, we did. Yeah, please. Okay, so one teacher one time in a science classroom asked you to wash your hands one time, and you asked us if our teachers said warsh.
What your ass say? This is a good deconstruction because what are you doing when you ask that question? What are you doing when you ask that question? Are you trying to just make a statement, but you're doing it in the form of a question of a generality? No, I think what really fucked me up. Yeah, fuck you, Blake. Yes.
I think what really fucked me up was this was a moment. This was the first time in my life where a person who was in charge of teaching me. An educator. I was like, you're wrong. Why are you saying that word fucking wrong? Right. This is second grade and you're saying warsh? There's no R in wash. Well, this is where things get interesting. What is wrong and what is right to you as far as language? Are you, do you think what the, what Webster's and the Anglo English is that? And what,
region to use the correct right way to speak well i mean sure this is all everything that happens we we made as a society as humans come on like there's and who is we who's in charge well that's a great question let's talk about it it's webster who the fuck is webster and look i'm not knocking the show who is webster it's a good show webster that's actually a really good question miriam miriam webster no miriam she's beautiful is that a female or a male
Merriam-Webster. I think it's two different guys. Probably two guys, right? Oh, like John Merriam. Mary and Am? Merriam? No, Merriam. Merriam. It's two last names, I believe. It's Brian Merriam and Chad Webster. Yeah, Chad Webster. I'm going to marry him. Brian and Chad. So these are all the words. Yeah. So they hold the keys. They hold the keys to what's a word. And Roger. And Roger.
And fucking Roger's thesaurus. Well, I think they're being too willy-nilly with the dictionary. Wasn't like... Yeah, they like added bling-bling. And like bootylicious or something was added. And you're like, I don't know. Do we need to add bootylicious to the dictionary? That might be wrong. Did they add... I know that they added jiggy. Poposal!
They added jiggy. I remember that for legitness. Jiggy? Because it was like getting jiggy with it and people were saying it and it was like, we got to put it in the lexicon. What is the definition of jiggy? I specifically remember a day when they were like, yo, we're adding bling bling to the dictionary. I remember that news story. They do it every year. It's a whole segment on the Today Show or whatever.
Who's doing this? Is it Webster or is it Merriam? It's probably like the family and the descendants of Merriam. Do you love Merriam? It's probably the descendants of Merriam. Yes, Bootylicious is in the Oxford Dictionary. Oh, Oxford. Who the fuck is Oxford? Yeah, who's Mr. Oxford? I don't know about Oxford. Yeah, that's some British shit, dog.
Yeah. Yeah. We don't count that. Bootylicious. Is bootylicious in Webster's dictionary? Yes. In 2004, the term bootylicious was added to Merriam-Webster's dictionary. So they were 2000 and late on bootylicious? Yeah. Well, you can't be 2000 and early if you're the dictionary. You got to wait to see if it catches on.
So true. You do not want to be early to adding words. You do not want to be 2000 and early if you're the dictionary. You need to make sure it's a thing, it's real, and it's going to stay. That's why you put bootylicious in the dictionary. And are they salty now that people don't really say bootylicious except for my cool aunt who will always drop it? Wait a second. What's up? Can we talk about this? Producers just put a whole list of words that are now in. Oh, okay. This is good. You're either in or you're out. All right.
Sus? Sus is in? That's suspect. Look, L-E-W-K, and janky just got in. Janky just got in. Janky's been around forever. Oh, that's some bullshit. That's some gatekeeping. MacGyver just got in. Oh, wow. MacGyver? This can't be real. No, that can't be. MacGyver's a word. Yeet. Yeet is in. Oh!
Oh, yeet got in. Oh, that's huge. Yeet? That's huge. Dude, I don't even... What does yeet mean again? What does yeet mean? To express surprise, approval, or exceeded enthusiasm. Excited. That's Popo Zhao. To throw especially with force and without regard for the thing being thrown. Right, right. Like, yeet. Oh, okay. So if you like...
just hug something against the wall, you yeeted it. Yeah. Or you say like, or you, you, you gutturally say yeet when you do that. Yeah. To me, that's super cringe unless you're a baller and you know how to MacGyver some adorkable looks. Yeah.
Dude, adorkable? Adorkable? Oh my God. Dude, the dictionary's way sicker than when I was a kid. These words are fucking fire, dude. Yeah, the dictionary, well, they're trying to stay relevant. Yeah, of course. And look,
Without shrinkflation... You know kids are 2000 and late on the dictionary right now, so they're trying to throw in some words that they like. For sure. It's for sure the sort of... It's an eight ball? It's the side hustle to LARPing on Galentine's Day. You know what I mean, guys? Kind of. So level up. I kind of do, Durst. Dude, that's what's crazy. I was just looking at that side hustle. So level up your mud season or your surface wave because the dawn chorus...
It's Atmospheric River, guys. Wait, hold on. Yeah, and go celebrate Galentine's Day, okay? This year in February. What is it? What did you say? The dawn chorus? What the hell is that? Dawn chorus. It's when you tie your dicks together. If you don't understand the supply chain of this green wash, you're a dumb phone, you video doorbell. Go microgrid yourself. You got to explain some of these words. You're just saying them now, and you're...
I'm looking at the same list. I can't find all these words that you're right. It's he's scrolling at a different level. Adam, it sounds like you've got a laggy metaverse. You spoon con. Hey,
Hey, you just got pwned, PWN. Okay, why don't you go somewhere in Virtue Signal? Pwned was in the dictionary as well? PWN is in. PWN. This is Merriam-Webster, not Oxford. So what's good about this is you can use all these words in Scrabble. That's what this is all about.
Next time you're playing Scrabble. That is what's good about it. That is what's good about it. That is. Way to call that out, Kyle. Thank you. Yeah. You can now throw yeet on the Scrabble board and get some fucking points, Playboy. Yes, points! I like some of these new words, though, that I didn't know. It's not even really a word. It's a phrase.
Which one, Adam? What are you looking at? Dawn Chorus? Dawn Chorus. Yeah, I don't know what that is. The singing of wild birds that closely precedes and follows sunrise, especially in spring and summer. Yo, but that's sick because some- That's not a word. That's two words. I think Jeezy coined that too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. What? They're all rap affiliated. That's from a rap album. Dawn Chorus.
Get up for the dawn chorus. That is some bird watcher shit. Who was the dude who just kept saying dawn chorus every fucking day? Exactly. It comes down to one person. I hope it was just the guy that, remember that it was that video of a guy who saw that train who was like, oh my God. Oh yes. It's beautiful. And he was like, fuck yeah. Oh, okay. He was coming for sure. Yeah, he was. I hope he got into watching birds and he's like, it's a dawn chorus. Oh.
I'm going to come. Yeah, that's what he said. Mud season. What's mud season? What is mud season? I think you know. It's exactly what it says. It's just fucking. A time of year, early spring, that is characterized by excessively muddy ground. What the fuck? That's the dumbest shit I've ever read. Yeah, this does not need to be in the dictionary. I'm actually a little bit upset. I'm getting very mad at this. Oh, we got a couple gatekeepers to the English language. Well.
I'm just saying Webster kind of fell off. Kind of. Yeah, majorly. You're an Oxford boy now? I'm an Oxford man. Ever since I heard they were first to bootylicious, which is a good word to add. We all stand by bootylicious. Mm-hmm.
Right.
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Do we think the connotation of bootylicious has changed? Like before it was like, that's a nice looking ass. But now it's like, hey, how was that ass that you ate? That's bootylicious. Is that what it is now? That's what's going on now? Wouldn't you think it would be? Oh, now it's more about the actual taste of the ass. That makes a lot of sense. Wouldn't you? So you're saying it gauges flavor?
Whereas before it was kind of just gauging the retun-ness. Yeah. Well, what other phrase? Is it only delicious that has licious or is there any other thing with that suffix? Bubblicious. Yeah, bubblicious. Yeah, bubblicious. That's food. Thank you. That's food. Yeah. So it's always food. So derz, you're right. There's got to be another one. It must be taste. I feel like if you said that to a youngster, they'd be like, what do you mean it's booty licious? You ate her booty? And you'd have to be like, actually, it's about how it looks. You see, J-Lo. Right.
No. I believe it was... It was Yonce, right? Was it? I think it was Destiny's Child. I think J-Lo... Well, they made the song, but I believe J-Lo was the crossover booty that America... That kind of hipped white America to the value of the rear. Mm.
Very well stated. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. Well stated, my guy. I think she was. I think she was the crossover booty. There were many, many booties before. You think she was the crossover booty? Oh, yeah. Definitely bootylicious. Well, see, here's a real question. Like...
when we were kids, booties were not a thing, right? Go off. They were a thing for guys. Well, what about Sir Mix-a-Lot? Sir Mix-a-Lot was like, I like big butts. Butts on guys. Yes, butts on guys. Women liked butts on guys. Yeah. And then guys were more about...
The breasts. Or there would be a legs man. Every once in a while, there'd be a legs man. That's right. Yeah, look at the legs on that one. Very proud people. And it wasn't about the butt. In the turn of the millennium, we were riding that wave. Yeah, the willennium, if you will. The willennium. Thank you, Webster. The turn of the willennium. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, absolutely.
And we rode that wave. We were the first generation that were like, we came around, even though the generation before was like, poop comes out of there. Poop comes out. We were like, we don't care. We don't mind. That's bootylicious to me. And obviously, I'm not saying that Jennifer Lopez had the first butt, but I think she had the first butt of international recognition that...
white guys were like, yeah, I mean, I like big butts. That was a fun kind of novel song because it was like, you like big butts. What? Right. Yeah, they were like, oh, that's kind of weird. And now guess what? Now we eat big butts. Now we all get a fork and knife and eat big butts. Almost constantly. It's all I do. It's all I do, baby. I get the sampler platter. Sons out, buns out. Am I right?
So I wonder when it's going to go off big butts and now it's going to go. Do you think it's going to go back to breast or do you think we're going to find another part of the anatomy and we're going to be like, it's all. It's going to be down to the calves. It's all elbow meats. Thick cankles. Elbow meat. Give me them calves, baby. Give me them ankles. It's all elbow meats and cankles. Wait, what is that thing called? The nutsack elbow skin. It has a really funny name. That's pretty good. The elephant skin? That shit that's like. It's called your elbow.
That shit's elephant skin. No, it's called like a dingus or something. It's something weird. Oh, that's a funny name. All right, let's look this up. I'm going to look up. I'm going to do a Google. I'm going to say nutsack. Yeah, what's the elbow skin called? Is this in the Oxford? Don't use Google. Use Seeker, Kyle. Use Seeker. Can you Seek? I'm on Seeker right now. I'm on Seeker. Yeah, I'm Seeking. Anybody, seek.com and you shall find. No, Seeker. Seeker.
Your boobs are huge. No, that's not it. It's S-E-E-K-R dot com. Come on, Blake. Let's get that money. Come on, man. By the way, if you're still using Google, you're fucking... Fucking... You're 2,000 late. You're 2,000 late. You're not seeking anything. You've got no good looks and... You're a fucking disaster, my guy. And you're a fucking disaster, my guy. Oh.
Seek and destroy, Kyle. What'd you find on seeker.com? Oh, I'm not finding anything right now of any use. Yeah. Well, Todd just hit us up with it. I'm guessing he used Seeker. Yeah. He must have. I just had trouble. User error. It says...
Weenis. Weenis. Weenis is a slang word for the excess of loose skin at the joint of one's elbow, which is technically referred to as a whole cranial skin. Is that how you would say it? Adam, every doctor listening to this podcast just lost it. Oh, dude, I love how many lawyers are DMing me being like, first of all, fuck you guys. I am a lawyer. Uh,
And I listen to the podcast because I think in like last week or the week before, we like said that lawyers don't party. Listen to the podcast. No, you can't have long hair and all that. Oh, yeah, that's right. You can't have long hair and be the lawyer. But hilariously, multiple of the people that DM to me were like, I do have long hair. I do have long hair. And I am specifically a weed lawyer. I love that. I love that. And heads up, buddy.
cut your hair and obviously don't listen to this podcast. If you listen to this podcast and you're a lawyer, I'm not hiring you. Don't tell them to cut their hair. Do not tell them to cut their hair. That's how they can express themselves. I'm just a caveman. Good luck. I'm just, all I'm saying, they can keep the hair. I'm saying they will make more money as a lawyer if they don't have the long hair. Right. Maybe they're not doing it for...
Oh, the love of the law? Yeah, that's it. Maybe they're lawyers with good hearts. That's why people become lawyers is they just love the law. If you're a lawyer with long hair, you heard something about the bar exam and you're like, count me in. Open bar, baby. The bar? Hey, I wouldn't mind studying that. Hey.
The California bar? It does sound tough. I'm there. Let me get a Coors Light. Tap the Rockies when those mountains turn blue.
Now we're just talking about days. Chill days, baby. Oh my gosh, my weenus is getting hard. Okay, okay. So it's weenus. That's the funny name you were talking about. It's weenus on your elbow. Interesting. Wasn't that the name of, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby? What do you mean? I don't know.
You mean the band? The band. Wasn't that? Oh, that's weed is weed is Todd. Todd came in quick. Yeah. You were closer than I thought because I was like, what are you talking about? Todd, where are you from again? Todd. Todd's from Philly. Philly. Wait, what the fuck? What is a weed is? Weed is is the name of that band.
I'm just a teenage jerk. Yeah, we heard it. That's going on the board next week. I know. I'm doing a great impression. So the fact that you guys don't know this song. I know this song. Come with me Friday. Don't say maybe. Yeah, you're crushing, dude. You're crushing. Yeah, thanks. Goodbye. I'm surprised you didn't get it, dude. I know you know that song. I know the song. We've listened to Wheatus. I could have sang the song with you. I could have, but I didn't know Wheatus.
I didn't know that name at all. Oh, you didn't know the name? Absolutely not. Okay.
Okay. I knew it was something like Weenis, but it isn't. It is Weedis. And you know Weedis listens to the pod. Absolutely. There's a 100% chance that a member of Weedis listens to the pod. Big shout out to Weedis. This is for you. This is for you. We do it all for you. This is for you. Yeah. Shout out to Weedis. Hey, if everybody except for the band members and Weedis want to go ahead and turn down the pod. Yeah.
Yeah, I want to say big shout out to the bassist of Wheatis, who is my guest. Because the bassist of Wheatis, he doesn't get the same love as the lead singer with that cool voice. So Ryan Wheatis has a lot of free time to listen to podcasts. And I just want to say what's up to the bassist of Wheatis that for sure 100% listens to the podcast. Now everyone else can turn it back up. Matthew Milligan. Matthew Milligan. Hold on. Turn it back down real quick. Turn it back down real quick. Turn it back down specifically.
I'm talking to Matthew Milligan, who I know 100% has to listen to the pod because he is the basis of Wheatus. And there's a 100% chance that that guy listens to the podcast. Thank you for listening. We love you, buddy. We love you. This is for you. We love you. Thank you so much. We're still teenage dirtbags at heart. Okay. Turn it back up now. Todd, did you know Matthew Milligan off the top of the dome? Or is this a, you just wicked that? Or, sorry.
Seeker.com. Yeah. Todd used Seeker.com to look up Matthew Milligan. He had it so quickly. He seeked. Seek and destroy, my friend. And did you try Google first and it didn't pop up, right? Yeah. Google doesn't have it. We're all Seeker all day over here. Google is on restricted access. It's like when that restriction check or something happens.
Dude I've been off Google. I was a bing boy for a while, but now I'm seeker calm all day long. Thank you What a swing they took they were like let's get in this game Yeah, what did Bing do that was different from Google exact same thing right same thing, but you know what well I'm sure there's something behind like the algorithm or whatever. I
But when you look up something, when you use Siri for an image, it uses Bing. Really? Really? Siri's a Bing girl? Mine does. Maybe I can change that, but... Well, Todd just says Microsoft owns Bing. Right. That's why. iPhone. I have an iPhone. Okay. Wait, but Siri is Microsoft? Is Siri Microsoft? Hold up. Hold up. Wait.
It can't be. It's an iPhone. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know why. Maybe I'd change it, but for years it would send me through Bing and I'd click the Bing to be like, why am I on that? Maybe it was like an ad that was getting you. Maybe Siri was advertising Bing or something. No, like when I would say Google Images black penis. What? No. When I would say Google Images anything, it would be like Bing. Bing.
And I'd be like, what the yeet is this? Yeet!
What the yeet? I'm about to yeet my phone across the room if I get another fucking bad image. My God. Yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet. Oh, my yeets. Fuck being in Google. Hated it. Fuck being in Google, dog. I got to keep it 100. It is cool to be, if we are the first ones off Google, to be like, we started it. So in 50 years, when people are doing something else, we can go like, we started it.
We were 2000 and early to the Google exit. How people are like mass exiting Twitter right now because Elon Musk, which I'm like, hilarious. Who gives a shit? I mean, well, people give a shit. It's so weird. Yeah. Well, it's also like, I'm like, just if you like Twitter, just use Twitter. It's since when did we care about you still like watch the news and shit.
even though that they're all owned by fucking lunatics. Right. And I love how they're going to post the picture of them getting off Twitter on Instagram as if Instagram's not awful also. I know. They still don't know where to share it. It's all crazy. You can't be a billionaire without being a little fucking nuts because nothing means anything to you.
Right. Nothing means anything. It's true. It's true. Right. Yeah. You've completely lost sight of what it means to be a part of just regular society. Yeah. I mean, that being said, it sounds awesome. And I hope it happens to all of us. And I hope we all end up being psychopaths. That we become billionaires. Yeah. We're just billionaires and just we're lunatics. That would be super fun. Yeah. That would be a cool life path. Yeah. But we will be. And I will admit it. And I will just say yeet.
as I throw hundreds of thousands of dollars at people for fun. It's fun. Is this a cool time to tell everybody that we've come up with a cure for the hangover? But we just need your money first. Yes. And it is a subscription service.
We just need $19.99 once a month, every month. A couple times a month. A couple times a month. Yeah, twice a month. It's going through the FDA right now. It's going to take a minute, but just give us your money now. Give it. And we're not going to Elizabeth Holmes you. No, this is crowdsourcing. That's all we're doing. If we can't get it together, it's not our problem. Sorry.
Did you guys watch that show? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you guys watch the Elizabeth Holmes show? I know about it. Yeah. I watched the documentary. I thought you were referencing your aunt. Unrevealed. Yeah, she is my aunt. Very cool. Dude, I see it in the eyes that she's related to you. Wait, who is this person? Why am I- Elizabeth Holmes is the- Sorry, explain it, Jersey. Yeah. Adam's like, I-
I kind of forgot. She's a now or I don't know. She became a billionaire because she started this company that basically said it could do all these blood tests in one little box. And it would be like super fast, super easy. And she convinced everybody, dude. And Walgreens like had them in their stores and it fully just didn't work.
And she was running blood tests through other machines made by other companies that had been around for quite a while. Shout out to Siemens, by the way, for fucking doing it right. We're Siemens boys. Always have been. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? What was the blood? What were you testing for?
for cancer and anything yeah like home blood tests send away blood tests like it was crazy and it was supposed to be just like a prick of your finger and and then it would figure it out i mean it's a great idea but it's like it's like a fucking guy just that like a stoner friend of yours that always has good ideas but he is never able to actually do the thing right yeah
Like, we all have those ideas. We're like, yeah, it's just a prick of your blood and you're able to see if you have cancer. And you're like, wow, that's a great idea. But then she convinced people that she could actually do it when in fact she couldn't. But how does that? It just didn't work. She got into Walgreens and all that shit. And then she stole people's blood, basically.
Because instead of going old school and having to go improve things like you used to with medical equipment, she kind of hitched her wagon to this Silicon Valley mindset of like if you don't get in now before we even drop, you're going to be the people who like heard about Uber early and passed. Right.
And nobody wants to be that now, especially like big banks who are just going to make a trillion dollars off getting in early. Yes. So she just conned all these people, including Michael Ironside. You have to watch. There's the documentary. And then there's a full on show with Amanda Siegfried. And Amanda Siegfried did such a great job because I think she's a pretty beautiful woman. Amanda Siegfried. Okay. You got to say it twice. She's pretty and beautiful. Okay. She's pretty beautiful. But.
In the show, she does such a good impression of this woman that she's like terrifying. Really? Which is her big scary eyes. The bad hair, just the flyaways. In real life, she does this fake deep voice to sound more like a man. The actual woman. The actual woman, Elizabeth Holm, like talks like this. Like she on purpose lowered her voice. Right, right. I know that. I know that.
to like try to be more convincing for some reason as if that's not a fucking insane thing to do. She just did it because she wanted to be in a boys club or not wanted to but she was in a boys club of all these people and lord her register to be taken more seriously. Okie dokie. Misfire. Total misfire because she sounds fucking like Dracula or something to you.
Like Batman? She put on a Batman voice? Yes. Hey, R.I.P. R.I.P. Batman, the animated series voice guy. That is true. Just died today. Here's the deal. All I need is a little spot of your blood and I will be able to tell you. Okay. Yeah, she yodeled out. I will be able to tell you everything that is wrong with you.
I like this version. Whoa, wait. You sound super trustworthy. Here's the deal. You're going to want to get in early. What if we don't? You're going to want to get in. Well, remember what happened with Uber and Lyft? Yeah, I do. Yeah.
Okay, well that's what's gonna happen here too, so. Okay. You're gonna wanna get in now. I'm about to pass out. If this works. Look at the vein in my forehead. Dude, imagine having to do that for all day long. She went about her life. She just like up and changed her voice. Could you imagine like for your job, you just up and change your voice forever? Yes. Yes.
Is anybody in the bathroom right now? I gotta take a 10-1 real quick. Could you give me your blood? It works. Where you're going now, Blake, and saying 10-1 in the voice, everyone listening is lost. Except for like three PAs. Who are like, I know what that is! I know what a 10-1 is! Hey, let's give them it's time for the Inside Hollywood moment! Inside Hollywood!
Hollywood. Thank you, Blazer, for bringing us into the inside Hollywood. Inside Hollywood. You heard him say 10-1, baby. Well, you want to explain what 10-1 means? Absolutely. Kyle, you want to take it or what? It's your whole moment, buddy. Let's go. Hey, guys. Welcome to the in Hollywood show.
minute with Blake Anderson. Today we're talking about what 10-1 means on set. 10-1 is just simply when you have to use the restroom. Take a pee-pee. That's right. Specifically a pee-pee. Right, because you're taking 10 minutes to do a number one. No. That's what I assume. No, no, no. I didn't know that. I never heard that. Uh-uh.
It's military. Do not take 10 minutes, Blake. It's a very quickly... 10-1. It takes the amount of time it takes to take a piss. And if you need more time, you say 10-2. Which is a poo-poo. Because that means you're taking a shit and you're going to need a little more time. Right. No, that's 10-2. And Adam, what's a 10-3? No, that's 10 minutes to take a poo. And 10-3 is when you...
have to jerk off. It's a stroke break. You have to. You're sorry about it, but you have to go. I think you're always allowed 10 minutes. You're just making the crew...
allotted this is great you're you're always i love when i'm not the one fucking up words this is this is fun for me you're always given 10 minutes to do what you're doing you're just alerting the crew what it is you're doing no no no this is you're either peeing or you're pooping but people need to know what it's not 10 minutes there's no time cap on a 10 one or a 10 two you're just letting them know what you're doing so like if the door is closed and you're looking for me so they know where you're at like where those numbers come from
First of all, don't take 10 minutes. People are waiting on you. It's from the military. Why are we repeating? The military. What do you mean the military? Talk to me, sweetheart. What's 10 mean in the military? I don't know, but I know that there's a bunch of stuff. Like 10-4? Yeah, thank you. 10-4. 10-4? That's when you're going to jerk off while you're taking a shit. It's Blumpkin. There's a bunch of stuff on set that is also military speak that people use. Like what? Affirmative. Copy that.
Copy that. Yeah, copy that. People say copy that all the time. Maybe it's walkie-talkie talk. It's walkie jargon. People say copy that, and people say 10-1. So obviously what I'm saying is right. It's full-on military. And ladies and gentlemen, that was the Hollywood Minute. Hollywood Minute.
Learn something new every day. Wasn't that educational? Man, that is fun. And I wanted to shout out Matthew Milligan from the bassist from the band Wheatus. Shut up, bitch! That's what 10-1 means, and feel free to use that on tour. On stage!
Yeah, feel free to use that on tour. If you need to take a quick 10-1. Right, between songs. Let the rest of weed us know. If you need a 10-minute break and you got to go take care of piss, take your 10 minutes. You don't need a 10 minutes. Don't take 10 minutes. Just go as quick as you can. Come right back. 10 minutes for a pee, 10 minutes for a poo? That's wild. That's wild. This is cool. That's wild. You're going to ruin people's day if you take 10 minutes, Blake. I missed you guys. I love you. I mean, you're taking 10 minutes, but nobody uses all 10 minutes.
Your maximum amount of time you're going to be gone is 10 minutes. Shut up, bitch. Thank you. Shut up. Will you please? All right. What's that? My bad. Is that new? That was just a sigh from Adam. Was it? Yeah, that was me. I went...
Whoa. Soundboard? Yeah, that was sweet. Yeah, we're going to get that on here, man. That's really good. No, I was saying it sounds bored. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no.
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We'll be right back.
Are you guys coming down tonight? Are we going to go on a party bus together? What's the deal? Did you guys? I wouldn't say I'd be coming. I'm going to meet you guys at Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament. Oh, yeah. We're going to Medieval Times. Oh, yeah. Goddamn. For my 39th birthday. Are you not coming, Kyle? I got to go back up to the bay because my son is having a fourth birthday party. Oh.
So I got to get back up there. Okay. Tonight or tomorrow? I think it's tomorrow. So you can come and go straight. Okay, so you could come. No, I just have to travel. I got to go up there and help him set up. You know what, Kyle? What? I just want to park. Do not come. Yeah, thank you. Do not come.
Do not come. I love the yellow wolf drop. Come for a little bit and then just do one of those crazy. You're going to be missed, Kyle. It's Medieval Times. I know you love that place. Oh, I love Medieval Times. Yeah, I'm so fucking psyched, dude. It's my birthday we're celebrating. I should be drinking. Why am I not drinking? You guys are already beating me to it.
I don't know. It is weird. Well, you're in a back brace, brother. Yeah. You got to pace yourself. I do. Hey, Adam, admittedly, it's weird. It is. It is very weird. Do you think that we're going to get kicked out of Medieval Times tonight? Is that what we're going in, like, thinking? I don't know.
What's the vibe? Hey, those 40-year-olds over there. No, not 40. I'm 39, dude. I'm not quite 40. I'm still... And dude, I'm limping out of my 30s too. I've been injured since February. Yeah, it's bad for you, man. Not my groin hurts.
I have to wear a back brace sometimes. Every once in a while, I have to wear a back brace now. You and Kyle both rock. Your fucking toes are falling off. Your toes are just molting. My toes are falling off. Adam, what's going on with your back brace, dude? What's going on? Why do you got to wear a back brace?
Dude, it's just part of the groin. Now it's the same nerve that wraps around your hip bone and then goes up your back. Now it's seizing up back there on the lower part of my back on the right side. So I'm going to a physical therapist and he's like working me out.
But he, every day, he's like, I don't understand why it's not releasing. It should release. Your nerve. Because is your nerve swollen? Your nerve is swollen, right? The nerve. The muscle that's tightening around the nerve. Yeah. And then it's pinching it. If you want to take a trip up here, Adam, I'll send you to my guy. And just as an all hands on dick situation. Please. Let's get all the hands on dick. I just want to send you to my guy to see if he can do it because he is...
Absolutely the most painful magician of all time. I would love that. I'm willing to try anything. I think I'm going to try acupuncture soon. Acupuncture is tight. Yeah, I think I'm going to try it. Fuck, I'm just in pain every goddamn day. I don't understand what's up with your nerves. It's like they're asleep. It's like there's been NyQuil poured on them every night.
They're not releasing. They're not waking up. Something is wrong. Dude, first of all, it's not NyQuil. It is Z-Quil. And it says right on the bottle, non-habit forming. That being said, I can't sleep if I don't take it. Let's talk to those long-haired warriors about non-habit forming. What does that mean? How did that get on the bottle?
No, dude. My lawyers are going to have short hair. Good luck, brother. I asked the doctor when I went blind earlier this year and had to spend the night in the hospital. Okay. I asked the doctors about my Z-Quil addiction because my mom and my sister and you guys and Chloe. It's the Z-Quil. Everyone in my life was like, it's the Z-Quil. It's made you go blind. The doctor laughed in my face, dude. What?
This doctor was like, what the fuck? It was Dr. Bro's arc. He was like, what the fuck, bro? No way. It's not the Z-Quil. Also, I'm also a lawyer, dude. Bro, I needed that, man. You're cracking my shit up. Can I tell you why he laughed at you, Adam? Because he's fucking getting paid by Big Z-Quil. Okay? Have you watched Dope Sick? He's getting paid off.
On the back end. No, I haven't. I didn't. Oh, you should. It's so sad. Durs has points on this. He understands it. Yes, points! Mr. Documentary. Look, I personally was not affected in any way by the opium epidemic that happened. Opioid, yes. Opium. Opioid, whatever. What even is, I might get into that.
Wait, which one? Opioids. But you got to watch this show because it just lets you know what went down the last decade with people. It's crazy. What, Viva La Bam? Well, I think that would help my pain because I am in a lot of pain and it is a pain reliever, right? This would actually be a cool thing to talk about at length about how bad it is and then do it anyway and kind of chart how you go from here. And see
how i'm doing it's like uh it's like supersize me this is like supersize me but with opioids don't get me started on that movie yeah fuck that movie because that was okay okay whoa when that movie came out i was at my peak supersize me moment where i'd go to mcdonald's and i'd supersize oh yeah i remember and then always they stopped supersizing but they also introduced introduced
chicken selects at the same time. You said intro dust. So then I would get a number one with a sprite and the chicken selects. Your boobs are huge. And then they brought back supersizing, but I was hooked on the chicken selects. So then I get a number one supersized with the sprite and the chicken selects. I can't stop eating.
Yeah, so of course you hate that movie. I eat because I'm unhappy. That sucks for you, dude. Fucked up your whole shit. I'm sorry, dude. That really sucks for you. That's fucked up. Man, the guy had real good McDonald's rhythms and then that fucking movie came in and just jacked them all up. I'm sorry, Owen.
It pissed me off. Dude, and that's not yeet. I don't think that's yeet. I'm about to fucking yeet the hamburger. It's definitely not a dawn chorus. It's for sure janky. Dude, that is not a dawn chorus at all. It was definitely mud season. I'll tell you what, those chickens' legs had it. Mud seasoned out. Die young.
Dude, after you eat all that, I'm sure you feel mad leggy. Oh, you still have it up? And if you live in LA and you know the 24-hour fitness right on Sunset in Hollywood next to the Arclight, there's a McDonald's behind it. And me and my homie John, we would go work out for an hour or whatever. Your boobs are huge. And go stir
to McDonald's to like protein load. And undo everything you did? More protein loading. Well, how old were you though? Because that's, you could do that in your 20s, you know. Oh yeah. I was 23, 23, 24. You still can. Oh yeah. You still can. Kyle does. I'm limping into 39 right now and if I even drive past a McDonald's, my gullet just drops two inches. It's Mosey's. I'm Mosey's.
If I just drive by, it's like your spider sense. You're like, there's fast food around. Adam, your gullet's dropping. There must be a taco truck around here. Oh, my God. I still got to hit it up for a shamrock shake, though. You have always claimed shamrock shakes since I've known you. You love it.
It was a tradition in my family. That's huge, man. Really? Yeah. Okay, good. So every year there'd be like an awards season. This is our heritage, son. I mean, honestly, there's an awards season thing and I would go watch my brothers go get their awards for like their sports and stuff. Oh, cool. And I'd get picked up from swim practice. My dad would be like,
We're going to get some Shamrock shakes. Then we're going to hit the awards show and watch your brothers get some trophies. And every year I'd be so stoked sitting there in the audience like, good job, Oli. So Shamrock shakes are just what? Are they during? Dude, once you sip that Shamrock shake, it's a fucking dawn chorus, dog. It's hard to say. Once you have that Sam Rockwell. Yeah.
Hard to say. It's St. Patrick's Day. Okay. Fuck it. So what is that, March? Yeah, March. Absolutely. Yeah, March 14th-ish. Look at the Irish. Look at the Irish to you in March. So that's after the Winter Sports Awards night in the city of Evanston, Chattahoochee. Yes, it would be. You're busting in spring. You're celebrating spring with a little shamrock shake. That's what it is. That's gorgeous. Look at the Irish. We're putting a cap on the winter where I'm from, actually. Oh, don't.
Okay. I'm so sorry about that, Anders. Are there any giveaways, takeaways, epic slams, apologies? Any apologies or giveaways, epic slams? Yeah, lots of apologies. I'll give a shout out. I'll give a shout out. I want to see if you guys recognize what this is. Style boys. Style boys. Oh, that's from Popstar, right? Yep. I bought this a couple years ago for like a Halloween situation.
Haven't really worn it that much, but... Dude. Because the glitter comes off and goes all over everything, and it's a fucking nightmare. Yeah, that's dope. You know what's embarrassing? I've never seen Popstar. Oh, dude. Oh, my gosh. It's funny, dude. Oh, it's a good one. It looks funny. I always think I'm like... Every time I see it, I'm like, I should watch that, and then I don't. But I've heard it's great. Let me tell you something. For me, I think it was the last funny movie. What?
Whoa. Oh, my God. We've come out with movies since then. Game Over Man came out after that. Was Game Over Man after that? Yeah. I think so. I believe so. Well, not counting that. It might be funnier than Game Over Man, but it made zero dollars, and I'm sure they got pissed about it. It is super duper good.
It's very funny. There's some really funny songs. Oh, yeah. Bin Laden, right? Bin Laden. That track goes. It's a blam, blam, blam, blanger, dude. Well, I mean, the Lonely Island guys are very, very funny people. So shout out to them. For sure. I'd like to give them flowers. Let's get flowers. Without killing them. Even though I've never seen Popstar. Don't do it. They'll die. Big compliment. Not a deadly flower. I'd like to give flowers to the Lonely Island. They're fantastic. They are fantastic.
one of the funniest groups going right now. Yeah. He's right. And I know that they were a big inspiration to the four of us when we were first starting out. We used to watch their videos and we fucking loved them. We tried to stay close to their heels, man. We were chasing them. Well, why didn't you cry about it? They put YouTube on the map for like people looking for content, right? For us, for sure. And now it's seeker.com.
Of course. And we know that. But do you think YouTube cut them a check ever? Or they were just like, thanks. Lazy Sunday. Yeah, I don't know. Wasn't Lazy Sunday was an SNL thing? That was SNL. No, I know. That was by the time they went to SNL. You're talking about like maybe Stork, but
No, I'm not. Nobody watched fucking Stork Patrol, but you and me. Maybe Adam and Blake. Yeah, we did. I love Stork Patrol. That's one of my favorites. But Lazy Sunday was on SNL, but then they put it on YouTube. Malibu, boo, don't I recognize you? And then YouTube became a thing. I bet they didn't get chipped off until...
no no they didn't get nothing and that's kablambo oh Anna our producer says I watched stork patrol what year did you watch sports stork patrol Anna Anna producer what year did you watch when she was in middle school when I was in middle school that's helpful so like two years ago that's really helpful
Flowers to Anna for being a cool middle school kid watching Stork Patrol on YouTube. Yeah. I'll give my flowers to, wait, what was the name of the guy who did the voice of Batman on the animated series? He really was a great, great, great voice of Batman. All I know is this, died at 66, but just, that was the Batman of our era. Like, really. That cartoon kicks fucking ass.
Ass man. Still good. Kevin Conroy. Thank you. Yeah, that dude rocks. I have my kids watch it and you can see that when they watch it, they're like, this is totally completely different than like anything they've ever seen. It's just better. Because it acts like a grown up show.
Yeah, it is. You know, like the way when Batman pulled his dick out in Joker's Wild episode. Problematic. It was like, whoa. And then Clayface turned into like a big giant dick. Oh, my God. You had to eat your phone against the wall. And let's not forget about Gallagher. I know Gallagher. Isaac's claiming Gallagher's dead, but did he die? I haven't seen anything outside of Isaac has said it twice today. No, no. People are posting watermelon things.
Moses all day. Oh, fuck, man. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, no. I mean, you just look it up, Blake, and he's dead at 76. Did you seek it? What do you guys remember about Gallagher besides the watermelon? Gallagher had a brother who would perform. Yeah, that was the... Didn't they, like, sue? There's big drama. There's also something where Gallagher claimed that he was the reason that Ninja Turtles won. Okay.
came out as a movie. Like he had that, like he was involved in that. I believe it. Yeah. I believe it. Yeah. We can get into it. He was the original Casey Jones. Think about it. Yes. You're right. He was the original champion of that project. I think. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Which is amazing. Big shout out to Gallagher. Another fallen soldier. Molding our childhood. He was the
guy who had the giant couch also right that was like a trampoline and he was jumping around on it yes and he also wait what yes on his stand-up show he has a giant couch stand-up show that played a million zillion times on comedy central yeah and he'd like pull shit out of it so tight yeah he's like let's look what's under the cushions dude he's tight he's he had like some coin
Right. He would throw the coin at the audience. Talk about words. He would love our dictionary chat because that's what that dude was. Yeah. Yeah. That's all he talked about. Why is big little and little big? You know, if Gallagher was the right age, he'd listen to the podcast for sure. Flowers to Gallagher. Yeah. Yes, he would. Yes, he would. This was the Gallagher. It'd be him and the bassist of Wheatus. From Wheatus.
Matthew Milligan. Big shout out to him. Thank you. And that was another episode of... A very special episode of... Which one? This is important. Friendship. Friendship. Wow. Hear that? Pumpkin.
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