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Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important...
I was not stoked on the idea of a fake cock. Wilbur. Adam Devine, he dips behind islands. Whoa. Our wives don't listen to this shit. And here we go.
Oh, man. It's been a week. And what a week it's been. Hey, thank you guys for clicking in. Thank you guys for opening up those ears. All righty then. Who's watching us on YouTube out there? Raise your hand. Who's clicking subscribe? Who's smashing the like button? Ding that bell. I love TII Nation. It's always like they tell you they listen to the podcast or watch the podcast like it's a secret. People come up to me like...
Hey, listen to the podcast. Hey, TII Nation. And you're like, are you trying to fuck, dude? I know about all your shit. Yeah, I know. I know all your dirty secrets. Yeah, that's why. Hey, do you guys think this is weird? What? Out to dinner in Hawaii last night filming. Nice, dude. And a dude comes up, a waiter, and he goes...
oh man and I go wait you were in Hawaii last night no the last night of filming the last night okay okay final night final night thank you it's all good Kyle the way you use words log just log off I got a lot of them on my shoulder you know what I mean yeah that's right yeah dude the waiter comes up and he's just like oh man I'm like hey he's like
You're from, what's it called? And I'm like, I'm going to say Workaholics. And he goes, Netflix movie. And I go, Game Over Man. He goes, Game Over Man. I love that movie. What have you been up to?
And I was like, this is somebody who's only seen Game Over Man, never saw Workaholics. Yeah. That's kind of sick. Oh, there's a lot of people like that. There's people that they, like, Netflix is the only thing that they consume. I've gotten that multiple times. Yeah.
I'm getting it a lot lately. But that just feels like people being like Ted Danson from... Mr. Mayor. CSI. Mr. Mayor, and they don't know much. Yeah, true. CSI. I've been getting a lot of Game Over Man love lately. It must be in some kind of cycle or something. Maybe...
I don't know. Maybe. They're finally putting it on the front page. Yeah. Well, we all know Netflix has their shit together compared to other streaming services. Yeah. T, we love Netflix. Remember last year when I went to throw out the first pitch at the A's game? And when I was in the A's. Was that me and you together when we did it?
No, no. When I went to Oakland. Oh, okay. Yes. At the beginning of the season. And one of the pitchers for the A's, James Caprillion, he like took me aside and he's like, dude, game over, man. I watch it every night before I go to bed.
Specifically Adam scene. Adam scene. Shout out. I was like, hell yeah, dude. Funniest scene in the history of cinema. Yeah, it's awesome. See his dick. Very well constructed, Kai guy. Oh, come on. That's the writing, baby. Oh, come on. I love this. You're right. You're right. Yeah, I know. I know. I can't do it without it.
People, you know, critics hated the movie. But I think that that scene specifically is one of the funniest scenes that I've ever seen in a movie. It's so fucking good. I love it. And you also have to, I feel like our tolerance of seeing male penis is higher than some people's. Like some people's, they're like, what? What?
Why? Why? You mean like dudes or just people? Mostly dudes. And some women are like, I can't. It's disgusting. Yeah. It's weird when people are so grossed out or weirded out about it. I'm like, bro, Puritans. That means that you want to fuck dudes or like it's like it does something sexually to you. Oh, if you don't like it so much. Right, right, right. Yeah, that you like hate it. I guess that explains why I really like it because I don't want to fuck.
Is that what? Yeah, probably. No, I love it. That's why I suck them. Think about it. It's like when someone hates gay people too much. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, what? Yuck! And you're like, well, what's happening to you? American Beauty style where the dad kisses Kevin Spacey? Yes. Definitely. People hate what they are not allowed to be. What they think that they're not allowed to like. Yeah. It's...
Because of a puritanical society. Okay. Here we go. Let's get into it. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Because we don't talk about. Polly charge. Okay. Yeah, well, we just don't. You know, we need to be showing dicks more. All types of dicks. We need to be showing boobs more. We need to be showing vaginas a little bit more because we need to. A little bit more. A little bit more.
Just a little bit more. Because we need to understand that the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. But also, it's to be laughed at. Correct. You can do that. Laughing is good. Right. Let's laugh at it. Yeah. Laugh at it. Well, a flop, inherently a flop is funny. I pulled my dick out not to be oogled and ogled. A flop out. Because that is the funniest thing in that situation to have happen. Right. Okay, but what if you have the least funniest cock? What if it's just stupid?
What does that look like to you? It's just great. It's perfect. It's just awesome. It's gray? Did you say it's gray? It's gray. It's gray. It's gray.
It's not funny. It's gray and it's alarming. I don't think I have the funniest cock. Like it's pretty funny. Yeah. Blake, where are you going? Dr. Ken has the funniest cock that I've remember seen on a movie or a television show. Very funny. Very funny. What was funny? Hangover. Hangover. He had like a button cock for surrounded by pubes. Yeah. It was hilarious. Right? Look, what Dr. Ken did for the rest of us, I will thank him forever.
Right. Yeah. Because if anybody's ever like, that's a small dick. I go, hang on. And I pull it up on my phone and I go, is it small now? And they go, oh no. It's like an egg in a nest kind of. Right. Yeah. It looks like a little baby bird egg. Quail egg. It's a quail egg. Got a quail egg cock. It was the best. And also good for him. Put it out there. Yeah, for sure. Let's do some giggles. Yeah. And now he's on like the Masked Singer just killing it. Right.
Right. Just printing money, baby. He really is. They've got to just blow up that image behind him one day for the Masked Singer just as a prank. But that wasn't – wait, was that – I'm sorry, but was that his actual cock? I thought that was a merkin with a prosthetic. I think it was, actually. I thought it was. Oh, my goodness. I'm not sure if it was his real – Oh, my. Who?
I thought that was his real penis. Me too. Maybe I'm wrong. And then if it isn't, even cooler to do a...
That's even cooler of him to, if he has like a regular size cock and then he's like, no, let's make my cock a quarter of an inch long. Yeah. Yeah. But that's, I would do that. That's a little different. That's different. That's hilarious. I would love to do that. I know. That's funny. I'm saying that that's great. I would much rather put on a quarter of an inch dick than for people to be like, I just watched a movie with...
Anders Holm's regular ass tiny dick. Wait a minute. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's, but that was what I did, Anders. No, your dick is funny. You've got, well, your dick paired with your face is hilarious. Thank you. So those things are great and your taint and everything. They screaming. It was a perfect, perfect comedic physical blast. My favorite thing was that fully just manscaped.
Like, you had like a five o'clock shadow going. Oh, yeah. Well, you have to. I got to pull it up. Can we pull it up? Yeah. You should have given it a little Caesar do. Oh, and Edgar. Yeah, I should have given it like a little mustache. Like Alex with three X's really put some time into it.
That would have been pretty good. Wait, we talked about you having a lightning bolt. Yeah, that's right. And then you were like, I'm already clipped. And we were like, fuck. Right. Yeah, you were going to have some pubart. Well, we could have put a merkin. Well, wait, didn't you do flames in Workaholics? Yeah, I did flames in Workaholics. Oh, that's right. Yes. That's tight. And thank you for that. Thank you for that. Yeah. We talked about me doing a prosthetic cock, but then they told me that it would make my dick look bigger.
And then I'm like well that's weirder Than just showing my dick Yeah that was the Then suddenly I just have this big ass cock Well It wasn't going to look good Because it was like I was not Stoked on the idea of a fake cock
Because it was just... I thought we were going to shoot... Writing it, I thought we were going to shoot around it, essentially. Which we did. Which we did. It's hard to shoot around that thing, baby. We did have options to do it. I mean, you can... I meant like him wearing a little... What do they call it? A cap or whatever, the little thing. And then shooting around it. Oh, like a sock. Sock, yeah. Sock. Cock sock. Cock sock. Oh!
I remember I did shoot it to do that in the edit because we could punch in a little bit. You got coverage just in case. Yeah, yeah. It was there. But then when it was put together, it was just so fucking shocking and hilarious that it felt tonally correct with the film. Over the top. Yeah. Damn. That's a dangerous comedy, okay? That's what that one is. It is.
That's what it says. I get it though. Like, you know, if, if you have a fake, a big fake one, then you have to live up to it. It's kind of like when, did you guys see that? Like Ariana Grande? Remember like in her music video, she wrote like in her little journal, maybe you guys never saw this video, but it was like Pete Davidson. And then next to it, she writes like huge. And
And then he does a stand up where he's like, she that was a fucking chess move there because now everybody thinks I have this huge dick. And then when they see it, they're like, wow, it's very regular. Right. Well, good for him. That's that's then he. But that was his chess move. Yeah, that was his chess move.
Whoa, you're saying that was a clap back. Well, of course. Of course. This dude knows exactly what he's doing. She writes to you and then he goes, check, checkmate. That's going to make me unlikable. So I'm going to go on my stand-up special and be like, now I'm completely overrated. Right. And then you're saying he's hogging. And now girls are like, well, I guess I got to see for myself. Dude, you know he's hogging. For sure, steady hogging. I got a big
fucking boner right now. Great drop, Blake. Great drop. So you're saying Pete's big. I'm saying... That's what Ariana Grande said. I'm saying Ariana Grande said he's big. She says he's big. That's what we saw in the Thank You Next video. Kim Kardashian said he's big. She did? I
Allegedly. I mean, she fucked him for a long time. I think she only fucks guys with big dicks. I'm a man. Really? And when I fucked him, it was huge. I was super sore. Uh-huh. You pulled the full-long string out of your ass afterwards. It's a bangle. I didn't get a string, bro. That's Pete Davidson's cock, man. It's the size of a rotisserie chicken. Chicken her. The string. And Pete,
Thank you for doing a voice on Fabulous for Freak Brothers. We appreciate you. We appreciate you, dog. Yeah, I love you, bud. What a life. Good guy. What a life indeed. Guy is having quite the run. He really is a good guy. I remember when he was on...
house party when he was 19 years old and he was just the nicest kid. That was his first time on television. On Adam Devine's house party. Yeah, that was his first time on TV. And we sort of launched his whole career. We did. And I had my buddy Goons get him weed. He was he was jonesing. Really? And yeah, I got I got him plugged.
What city was this in? This was the season one of House Party in Los Angeles. But what city was that? Because I remember going out there and being like, where are we? It was in the boonies. It was out there. It was like Chatsworth, right? Wasn't it, Kyle? It was Chatsworth. Chatsworth. You've never seen homes as large as these homes. You have. They were hilariously ostentatious. They were just giant and dumb and...
McMansion style. It was the Mike Tyson house. Didn't they shoot the hangover in the same one? I think they did. It was Mike Tyson's house. Really? Yes. Someone told us that they did. I'm not sure. But these cribs were for sure like 20,000 square feet.
They were huge. With like the highest ceilings you've ever seen. Like hilarious. Yeah, triple vaulted. But then they're also not like high quality. Like I feel like if you go to one of these big, beautiful mansions in Beverly Hills that has been there for 100 years and you're like, oh my God, like everything's so nice and it's like it's built to stand the test of time. Not leaking. And all those homes were like... There's no batting cages. Yeah, there's no...
Good bones. And these houses were kind of hilarious McMansions, which was exactly what we wanted for the show. But Pete was the man. He's a good kid. How long ago was that, Adam? When did we shoot that? What years was that? 1492. Dude, that was 10 years ago. That was 2013. Oh, wow. Why do they call them McMansions?
What is that? Because it's... Like fast food? Yeah. Don't explain this to him. Okay. No, what is it? Like fast food? What do you think? What's your theory? I think you're talking like McDonald's. Okay, good. Fast food. Uh-huh. They just get it quick to order. So this is like a McMansion. They just pop up. It's cheaply made. And then they put the word mansion in there to explain the size of it. Well, it could have also been like maybe there was some guy named like... No, stop. McGuire. Stop.
Mark McGuire came up with that. Mark McGuire? You didn't just go with Mick? Dude, I love that you just dropped McGuire. Mick Foley. Mick Dundee. Mick Foley made this up. Mark McGuire, his wife used to grocery shop at the grocery store. It's McGuire, by the way. What did I say? Mark McGuire. I know, but I said Mick Guire earlier. Oh.
Well, what do you mean? What are you saying? Hang on. Adam has a story about his wife shopping at a grocery store. His wife shopped at the grocery store, and she would tip like $10 to help her with her bags, which was like an unfathomable amount of money. Huge. It was just me elbowing all the other baggers to help her out with her groceries. Oh.
Oh, yeah. Let me help her. Yeah. So how's Mark? That was a cool grocery store, man. Heather Graham was in there. Bette Midler was in there. Elizabeth Hurley. Who? What about Rodman? Did Rodman ever roll through on yours? Rodman was in there. Kobe Bryant came through. Damn. I cut him meats. Wow. You used to cut?
meats. Yeah, that's right. I was a bagger and then I worked my way up and was a sandwich artist in the delicatessen. Right. Boar's Head quality meats, dog. Hey, shout out to Boar's Head. So good. Boar's Head fucking rocks, dude. Send us a box. Absolutely. Fucking team Boar's Head. Kick butt. I like their cheeses too. Yeah, their cheese rocks. Hey guys, the Workaholics movie, it's not going on Paramount Plus. We have some downtime.
I would like to use this time to become morbidly obese. So I am willing to eat all the boar's head, all the cheese, all the delicious meats that they have. Mmm, meats, cheeses. But here's the thing. It doesn't make you obese. It's actually healthy for you. Okay. Yes, it's very, it's true. Well, I'm on board. Yeah, bored. Hey, boar's head, I'm on board. No.
No! Bored teenager. It's a whole thing. I'm on board. Bored teenager. I'm Blake Anderson. I run the soundboard on This Is Important. Just want to say, I hope you enjoy Bored's Head Meets I'm On Board.
I don't really get it. Yeah, you're a Boars teenager. Yeah, that's fine! If there's a different version of that, I like it. Yeah. Winning. Alright, I'll work on it. Blake Anderson is a Boars 40-year-old teenager. 40-year-old. See, if we were on set, we would have time to kind of bat that one around, see, like, because
Because that wordplay is really not working how you're doing it now. But if we were on set, we would have the time to really hammer that out. And that's one of the many things we lost by not doing the Workaholics movie is really hammering out those little bits like that. Lordy, lordy, I'm over the boardy. No, Blake, you're still going for it. I mean, it's really striking my ego. I'm like, is something wrong with me?
You know, like, you know, I'm at that point of the grieving. There's a lot wrong with you, brother. I know, but I'm at that point. I'm grieving this. I get that. What did Emma? Emma just said something to me. Oh, she goes, it's OK. I go, it's OK. It's fine. She goes, Andres, you can be butthurt.
Solid, Emma. Yeah, welcome. Look at you go. It's okay to be butthurt right now. It is. It is. I can't wait to talk to my dad. I hope he goes, that's pretty loose butthole. Right. And you go, thank you, dad. Thank you, dad. Thank you for doing that. My mom's going to be like, I'm going to go chord your stepdad about that. No, gag. Wait, what?
Wow. Nothing. That's not even from the show. Yeah, what was that, dude? That's just perverted. Okay. Yeah. That's not from the show at all, dude. What was that? Is this something you guys know? Yeah. I thought we were just saying what our parents were going to say.
Can I go back to fucking your stepdad now? Which I'm constantly doing. Well, that's cool to have such a healthy relationship. Okay. Yeah, it's cool that you are okay with it, obviously. I'm happy. Oh, boy.
I have to be. Yeah, I have to be okay with it. It was a very small house. Gotta be okay with it. Thin walls. Thin walls. Gotta be okay with it. And we did say Chorg in this show, okay? I told Bill to look it up, all right?
Oh, is that right? Did we? I couldn't tell if you were doing a Thanksgiving gag cock reference. I thought you were doing that. We did say Jork in the show. I didn't pull that out of thin air. No, but it's not like I'm conning. What are you?
doing? I thought that was a thing we just talked about in the writer's room. I don't remember that reference. Like, Loose Butthole is iconic. Clearly part of the show. Iconic. You said Jorg. And you pulled Jorg because... And then you're like, wait, is it in the show? Is it in the show? Is it in the show?
Right.
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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables
veggies or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it. Make a creamy pasta alfredo or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go
And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home. If you don't know Chorg, please do yourself a favor and look it up. And is it like easily look-up-able? Yeah. Yeah, it's just good.
Most things are. Is it C-H-O-R-G? I don't know. It might be from the basement. No. Okay, yeah. No, it's Urban Dictionary. Yeah. Okay, I'll read it. Chore. The sound made when someone gives head. Popcorn. Too deep and almost chokes. Thank you, God. The act of almost choking while giving head. Blake, hit us with it.
Dur's got it. Dur's got it. And what's cool, what's cool is you know, like, that a woman came up with that for sure. That name? She was like, I was, oh, I chorg'd. And so then what, what were you doing? Well, I chorg'd. What is that? Well, it's,
No, it's onomatopoeia. That would be great. What is it? Onomatopoeia? What is it? Yeah. What are you talking about? How is that an onomatopoeia? A word that sounds like it is. Yeah. Yeah, though that's like, chark, chark. Like, what? But you're not doing it. Oh, I thought an onomatopoeia was something that was like mom. That's a palindrome. No, that's a palindrome. Yester's. Real man, a genius.
Wait, but how is Chorg? I don't know. Because listen, listen. Okay, I'm going. Well, you have to really sandwich in the chug. No, but the thing you did first was what you did. No, it's not an onomatopoeia. Yeah, you're right. It doesn't sound. I guess. Pow. Isn't pow a fucking onomatopoeia? Pow. Yeah. Like pow, bang, kusplat.
I wish they had entomology of these urban dictionary words. That'd be cool. Isn't entomology the study of bugs? I think so. Isn't entomology the study of coffee cakes? I think so. Yeah, ants. It's ant study. Entomology? Entomology is the study of coffee cakes, and I'm sticking with that.
Isn't it the history? I think entomology is the history, like where it started from. Nobody gets that. So now that we essentially have our spring off, guys, what are we going to get really good at? Pickleball. What thing are you guys? Pickleball. I'm deep in pickleball already, so I'll just keep doing that shit. Yeah, I'll come play now. Yeah. Let's play, dude. Yeah. I'm ready. I was tied down. All right. You know what I want to do? I want to become a golfer. I really do want to become a golfer.
I got some clubs. I feel like all of my friends are golfing all the time. I have clubs. I'll golf with you. Yeah. Let's take up golfing, guys. I want to be those. Because for whatever reason, people just accept golfing as a thing that you can go do for four hours. And they're like, oh, he's golfing. But if you were to go, I'm just going to smoke weed and play video games.
Right. That's unacceptable. You know what I mean? But like, I feel like the wives, they, for whatever reason, wives in society allow golf to be a thing. So let's do good. Let's get into that shit. Yeah. I'm in. Let's go. I think the cat's out of the bag now though. Yeah. We're fucked. You just explained it. Our wives don't listen to this shit. Let's go say we're golfing and play video games. I want to get good at like Mahjong. And Blake, why?
What is that? Mahjong poker? Is that poker? That's poker, right? It's the tile game. Oh. All right. Taipei? The Taipei game on the computers? Yeah, I'm going to go golfing with Adam. Well, I'm going to go drink beers on beautiful vistas on golf courses. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to smoke blunts. You can drink beers and smoke blunts and play Mahjong. Yeah, but you're not in beauty. You know what, Blake? You can find me and Adam at the Riv. Yeah. You're like in a rec center or some shit.
You're at an old folks home. Guys, Kyle's dropping a reference here. Go for it, Kyle. Me and Adam are going to be at the Riv. Uh-huh. Okay? Isn't that a country club in Palisades? Rivera? It is. It's super expensive. Oh, shit. Yeah, let's go there, dude. Yeah. They got pickleball there. I golfed at Torrey Pines during the pandemic, and it's fucking beautiful and raggedy. Oh, really? Where is that? Where's Torrey Pines? Torrey Pines is on the way to San Diego. Oh, yeah.
Because it's a public course, but it's like on the ocean. So it's like re-fucking-diculous. And it's not that expensive to play. And I think it's only like $70 if you live right there. That's cool. Which is bananas. Whoa, whoa. What is the cost of golf? It's bad, dude. Oh, it's a few hundred dollars if it's a nice course. The fuck? It all depends. Wow.
It's upwards of $150 to like $300. Wow. If you're part of like a country club or like a – what's the one in Studio City? It's insane. I saw that. I looked at country clubs around my crib. How much the country club to join in Newport Beach?
just to join and then you still have to pay like dues can i guess can we guess first can we guess first yeah i'll guess yeah the the nuts to join is it six hundred thousand dollars no it's not six hundred no it's less no no it's i my guess is it's um around eighty thousand a year to play golf at that club but what's the no what's the buy-in he's talking about the buy-in and then and then there's like monthly dues i want to say it's
$30,000 a month. But we're talking about the buy-in. No, not a month. Just the nut buy-in that you have to pay just to join, and then there's dues. And I don't know what the dues are. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I still am going $80,000. I think it's somewhere around there. $100,000. I'm going to say $125,000 to join. It's so much more than $120,000. It's not that much more. It's $200,000. Thank you. Really? Which is...
A lot to me, Dirk. It's a ton. Yeah, that's a lot just to join. The rib is, I think, four. Oh, wow. Well, is the Palisades nicer than Newport Beach? But then I think it's $30,000 a month. Just ditch the golf. Well, I wouldn't think so. I would think that the country club lifestyle down in Newport Beach is way more pricey than
Palisades around here. Yeah. Well, just cause it's like, no, that's the Palisades dude, but it's more of the culture down there. It's different. Golf has weird rules, but the Palisades, that's the only one they got. Yeah. I bet. I bet it's because there, there's a lot of money up there. I mean, there's a lot of money in Newport beach as well, but I think that escaping the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles is more of a thing. Check the, check the link that I just dropped in. Cause this is what I was reading, uh,
a while back. Dude, do they talk about the one near like Toluca Lake? That one's pretty exclusive. That's the one where like actors aren't allowed to join, right? Yeah. Oh, really? Because Santino was telling me about it because Santino's apparently a really good golfer and golfs a lot. I could see that. He golfs at this place and he's like, there's no actors allowed to join. You can go play if you're invited, but you're not allowed to be. Okay, the Riv is $250 to join. Yeah, $250. That's crazy. What's the annual dues? Do you know? Does that come up?
I don't know. I think it's like 30,000. I think it's 30,000 a month. So that's right in the wheelhouse. It seems like the nice ones are 250, 200, 160, 180. But here's the thing. If you don't play golf, you can get a tennis and like a swimming pass for way fucking cheaper. This is what I've been looking at. Sure. Hey, and if you're just listening now, this is when we became absolutely unrelatable. Yeah.
I'm wearing a hot dog sweatshirt, though. I know. I'm like, I just wanted to play golf. I'm like, that seems like an insane amount of money to then you still have to pay for golf. Yes. It only gets you in the club. No, you don't. I don't think so. You get to play a certain amount per week or something. You have tickets if you exceed that. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. But...
But people join multiple clubs, and that's what I was thinking. I'm good on that. Yeah. Dude, it's crazy. No, this is like real. Justin Timberlake is like a scratch golfer, and he belongs to like four clubs, I think. Yeah. Well, dang, dude. If I would have done the Workaholics movie, I would have done this, but now I can't. Yeah, we can't. So let's just go frisbee golfing. Yeah. I love it. Now we're relatable. Yeah, that's like five bucks.
Get out your leopard and your fucking cheetah. Your ogre. Oh, nice. What do they call the putters? What's a putter called? The T-bird or whatever? Birdie? What do they call it? Dude, you're past me. The putter. The little putter. I think it's just called putter. No, no. What the discs are, Innova. Innova makes a beautiful disc. A beautiful disc. What's cool about Innova is not only are their discs beautiful, but the bags that they carry the discs in that they make...
Unbelievable. The t-shirts are fun. I was never the Frisbee golf. I never went with the bag. I always just either one or two discs and then just get out there. Me too. I feel like it was too much if you had the whole bag. I had a fanny pack. Really? Yeah. You've seen it. Had a Subway sandwich in it. Oh, I love that fanny pack. We got to go play paintball.
Is that what we did when you... Yeah, let's fucking paintball, dude. Let's get really good at paintball. Anything where I can wear my fanny pack. Yes, and put Subway sandwiches in it. But yes, Adam, to get the crate with the wheels, that's a whole lifestyle. That's too much. Oh, you're talking like a roller bag?
Yeah. Yeah. No. You just need to have four or five discs and a 40 and you're good to go. Yeah, bro. 40 and a blunt. A blunt. A blunt. That's rolled, dog. Let's do it. That's it, baby. And my orc. I'm totally down to live this life with you guys now. Let's become golfers. Let's do Frisbee golf. Let's get way into hacky sack again. Real quick. Real quick. Okay. Real quick. The race society is gone. Right? Where? Okay. Uh-oh. Here we go. All right. Pauly charge. That's on fire. Yeah.
If you're famous, if you're rich, to have made it and be bawling out, you're on private jets, you're drinking Cristal. Cristal? Was this 2006? Am I crazy? Or was there nothing more baller than when Dr. Dre opened the refrigerator?
And had it full of 40s from top to bottom? Because to me, I was like, isn't that all you really need to do? Right. There is a certain amount of excess that you do not need to tap into. Like a refrigerator full of 40s. Buzz balls. Unbelievable. Yep. You made it. You did it. Yeah, that is cool. It's really cool. What do you need more than that? Admittedly, my favorite thing about having the small amount of money that I have
is having refrigerators stopped. Yes, you're very good at that, Adam. You're rich. Dude, yes, okay, I'm rich. No, but you're very good at it. Good at being rich. But the refrigerator game is on point. And it's so nice. It is my favorite thing about it. I'm like, just always. I'm bad at that.
My shit's just fucking veggies. That's kind of it, dude. Adam always has seltzer waters. He always has Coke Zeros. He always has beers. He always has some sort of maybe a tonic, gin and tonic.
That's so cool. You know I got them cans ready to go. Someone wants a cannabis beverage. Dude, can I give a shout out to a drink that I had when I was just in Colorado hitting the slopes? Of course you can. Please, please do. It's called Smooj. Smooj? Oh my God!
Splooge? That's what I kept saying. Yeah, well, that's a bad name. It's real close to splooge. That's what I kept saying. Okay. Nice. It's a hard seltzer smoothie in a can. What the? And I bought it being like, what the fuck is this? What the fuck is going on? That sounds disgusting. It was a pina colada in a can, and it was un-fucking-believable. S-M-O-O-J, I believe.
Shout out. You made my weekend up in Colorado a good time. It was unbelievable because it sounds diarrhea. I know. Yeah, I know. It sounds a little nasty. What's it called? Smoothie. It's called smooch. Hard smoothies, bro. Yeah. I don't want hard smoothies. And dude, I was like, I drank. I bought them on because you guys know me. I'm the guy who grabs like the thing in the grocery store that's like, what is this? Yeah.
You guys know me. He goes weird. You're trying every Oreo flavor. He loves it. And I bought it, and I drank one, and then I was yelling at everybody to have to drink one, and people were like, this is actually kind of off the chain. Really? Yeah. Huh. It sounds like a terrible idea. Well, I mean, what are the...
Because that sounds like thick as hell. Is it the type of thing? I'm looking at it. Adam, it's viscous. Yeah. It's thick. I do like a viscous drink. Is it like you could only have one or you could pound a handful? Yeah, you don't want to drink more than two, I would say. Yeah. Just like if you were poolside, you wouldn't be slamming pina coladas because you would have ultimate heartburn and your teeth would fall out. Yeah, we're old now. You can't just pound certain things, but-
You can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken, rope and all. You can't do that. Yeah, you can just pound cake. Pound certain things. Dude, this was so good, and I'm going to beg them to send me some stuff. Do you blend it with ice, or do you just drink it straight up? Just a can. Out of the can, it's got the consistency of the smoothie. Straight like a pina colada.
It's wild. Smoothies are like frozen. Dude, and read the ingredients. Read the ingredients. Simple ingredients. Yeah, no gluten or dairy. Just enough booze, man. A light bubbles. Jam-packed with nature's candy. No artificial flavoring. Huh. Right. The ingredients are like...
fruit, this fruit, that fruit, seltzer water, alcohol, period. That's great. Period. There's one person's period in there. Period. Okay. That's what gives it the viscous. Well, this is really interesting. By the way, they were packing the boxes to send to us and then we sent that and they were like, oh, these are the guys whose movie didn't get made? Done. Hold up. We know what their thing is. Let them just sit there. Damn.
I mean, I'm still dumbfounded that we're not currently shooting the Workaholics movie. It's beyond me. It would be happening as this aired or no? A little in a couple weeks. No, we'd still be a couple weeks out. Putting the ties on. Yeah. Growing my mustache. I just shaved my beard too. Son of a.
bitch. Oh, that's a bummer, bro. Could have had the longest, thickest beard. Getting my classic Lego hair haircut. Dude, I was gonna bleach my hair again. I was gonna go back to the bleach Carl. I think you should. That would be tight. You should just do that. Yeah. Cut my hair and bleach it. Just go. Yeah. Should I do it? No spoilers. No more spoilers for the movie.
I mean, it's not a spoiler. There's nothing to spoil anymore. Fucking whole thing got goddamn spoiled. I'm pissed now. I'll tell you what, the whole goddamn thing got spoiled. Go chort at your dad. I still love you. I guess I'll just be pounding smooches, man. F the world. F the world. A 12-pack is $60. Yeah, I saw that. Okay. Holy shit, man. Yeah. You guys, we got to scale it back. Yeah.
Hey, the movie's not getting made. We can't afford the smooches anymore. Scale it back. No golf, no smooch. They call these things hard smoothies, but wouldn't it be better if they were called rough smoothies? Huh?
Well, no. Any take backs? No, that's a really bad name. Rough. Like you drink it and you're like, rough. Oh, this is rough. This is rough. Yeah, but smooth and rough would be like directly. Oh, roughies. Only for this. Only for this. I'm not saying make a. But hard and smooth. No.
But hard and smooth? Yeah, hard and... Right, right. Like a bowling ball. Yeah, I'm probably wrong, but I just noticed it. Yeah. It's okay. And that's another one of the bits that we really could have hammered out if we were on set together and had... If we're standing next to each other for 12 hours a day, we would really hammer those bits home. See, they get first thoughts here on the pod. We wanted to give you guys, like,
third thoughts on the movie. Okay. Not just first. We wanted to workshop this shit. Yeah. Hey, I'd say even like eight, eight thoughts. Dude. It's great. How many thoughts we put into that movie that now just isn't getting made and they get better. They get better every time. I'm angry. I'm still going to send it. Cut to commercials. Cut to commercials.
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Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When is that? I leave next Tuesday. That's so exciting. Now you don't have to come back. Yeah, now I might never come back. Are you guys actually going to hit land or just going to be around? No, I think we're going to stay on. We're going to be like on the boat. I think we might like go to like have a dinner on some island at one point. But I have no idea. Epstein? Right. But the weather, I'm looking at the weather, dude. It looks like it's thunderstorms. Some cyclone. Yeah, like. Yeah.
like every day. So that's fun on a boat. Yeah. I might come back with like an, like an insane story. Like, or you might not come back. It might be a new story. There might be a new story. Yeah. Possibly be a new story. What is the, what is the boat situation? Is it a little boat, big boat? What are you doing?
It's like a big yacht. It's like a 180-foot yacht. Okay. And there's... It's like a... That's a big yacht. Yeah. A proper ship. Nice. And it's for my friend's birthday party, and there's going to be just a ton of us...
drinking and having fun on this boat. Snorkeling. As long as the weather's tight. But yeah, we will see. Yeah, that does concern me. That concerns me a little bit. God, and I couldn't pull the name of the guy to tell the joke. And then I was like, well, what was his...
It's really cool that you're friends with Ghislaine Maxwell. Ghislaine. Have fun with her on the yacht. Ghislaine. God, I was here struggling. I'm like, what was the fucking dude's name? Epstein, bro. Epstein. Epstein Island. Yeah, we're going to dine on Epstein Island.
Adam's going to Indonesia with Epstein's ghost. Whoa. No, that's legit. But remember when it would storm for a little bit in the Bahamas when we were doing Shark Week and it was kind of cool. Yeah. Chloe was kind of bummed when she was looking at the weather. She's like, oh, this might suck. And I'm like, well,
Well, if it's anything like the Bahamas, it was like the storm rolls in and it rolls right the fuck out. And it was kind of cool. And the boat has the thing. But those waters in the Bahamas were very calm. What do you think? He's going to like the Pirates of Dark Waters? I don't know.
I don't know. You think there's a monkey bird? He's going to the triangle, bro. He's going to the triangle. Bermuda. No, I'm going to the triangle. Sadness. Bermuda Shores. Yeah, no. I mean, it's Indonesia, so there's like 1,500 islands right there. It's massive. So I think you're able to dip behind islands. And these guys, it's a professional ship. You dip behind islands. Adam Devine, he dips behind islands. Islands. That's so good. Ooh.
Well, you know what I mean? Like if you're able to hide from storms a little bit. Yeah, I like it. I would assume. Storm hider. Monsoon. Yeah, I think you're right. Get all up in a cove somewhere. By the way, we were going to film a movie. Adam, you're going missing on this trip. It was never going to happen.
Yeah, that's true. You weren't coming back from that one, brother. S.S. Minow. Are the people there essentially? Because I know a couple of people there. And it kind of seems like the cast of Gilligan's Island. A three-hour tour. Never seen it. I'll just say homegirl. She's definitely Mary Jane. Don't get the rest. Adam, you're the skipper 100%. Mm-hmm. Homeboy. Who's Gilligan? Wait. Who's Dobie Gillis? What?
I don't know. I don't know all the people. I just know a couple. Yes, you do. I barely remember Gilly Gids Island to begin with. I did not like that show at all when it did come on like ever.
or whatever. I know, yeah, I definitely turned it. Even when like the fucking Harlem Globetrotters showed up? Dude, FX. Nick at Night. FX, when it originally started, was very old shows. It was like Treasure Island, it was like Batman, the show, Mission Impossible. Oh, well, I would have gone like Nick at Night or some shit. That's where I saw all my old shows. Yeah, me too. I saw it as it aired. Yeah.
Durs is the oldest man we know. I auditioned for that and didn't get it. Shut up, I got it! Shut up, I got it! Yeah, Dobie Gillis. Actually, the guy from Dobie Gillis is the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what... Yeah, Gilligan is Dobie Gillis. Yeah, so we'll see. Gilligan is Dobie Gillis. How many seasons did Gilligan's Island have? By the way, it probably only went like two or three. That's what's crazy about some of these shows. When you look back and they were iconic, that shit was huge. It just had the best...
theme song right there was only like three channels bro no i know but gilligan's island is like what is it goes like oh three three seasons that is you're kidding me wow yeah but no i'm not kidding three seasons but 98 episodes though oh jesus fuck well that's a horse of a different color that's a bad contract gilligan right doby hey you get to renegotiate after four seasons
Oh, my God. Okay. After the third season, we'll renegotiate. You have to do 33 episodes a season. That's insane. What a damn... Dude, 36 episodes of the first season. That's wild. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know what? The skipper...
kind of jacked, right? Was he? Yeah, they made him like fat or whatever, but he was like old school fat, which was just like thick with like a belly. Dude, I know that's how my body's going to morph into. I know. Exactly. Dude, this guy looks like Adam. It's awesome. Yeah, you're talking about Alan Hale Jr. That used to be fat. The new fat is like morbidly obese with like skin sagging off you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're hanging on by a thread nowadays. You used to be able to like, you're fat, but like
your whole body's hard to the touch. Exactly, yes. You're a hard smoothie. Yeah, this guy is Adam. You're smooch. Your body is smooching, bro. Send us a box. You're smooching, Chuck. This dude just looks like John Madden. He has like a football player's body. He's Adam. Ders is definitely the professor, 100%. Oh, and we're not talking streetball? Are we talking streetball professor? Oh, shit. Spider-Man.
I'm talking Gilligan Island. I'm half man, half amazing. Blake is Gilligan. So which guy am I? I'm the skipper. Is that what we're saying? Yeah, you're Alan Hale Jr. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And then Blake, you're Bob Denver. Yeah.
Who's Bob Denver? Bob Denver. Bob Denver is Gilligan. He's Gilligan, homie. He's Dobie. Oh, wow. Thank you. What a blessing. Thank you. Yeah. Well, you have the hair. You have the funny hair. It's like you have to do that. Gilligan doesn't have funny hair. I know, but he has funny eyes and he's goofy. So like you're not going to be able to hide that. He was like a dumb sweetheart. Yeah. It's Blake. What?
Thank you. Was Gillian the first? Gillian. Gillian? Oh, he can't even say his name. Was Gilligan the first bro ever to have swoop bangs?
Is he the original emo swoop bang? His bangs are great. I think he had a sailor's hat on the whole time, didn't he? A bucket hat. But the swoop bangs were hanging. Yeah, but his bangs are cutting or they're swooping out from the front. Are you guys looking at something? Yeah, we're looking at Wikipedia. Yeah, I'm looking at nude photos of Ben Denver. Is he on feet.com? His name is Bob Denver. Yeah, Ben Denver. Oh, he's got the wrong guy. Bob Denver has swoop. Did you say boom Denver? Yeah.
He said Ben. Jesus. If you have Bob Denver and kid didn't know him, they might think he just is the front man of Vampire Weekend. This guy has swag, bro. Yeah, I mean the rugby he's rocking is tight and he's got a little flair. Yeah, this bro has swag. They all did. He does.
The collar is great. I love it. Oh, Kyle, are you the old dude? Mr. fucking... What's the rich dude's name? Who's the old dude? The rich old dude. Was he like perverted? Oh. Well, if he's perverted then, bro, that's me, dude. I don't know any of these characters. The professor N.
Marianne. Yeah, look at the old dude with the hat. Who's the old dude? Is that Russell Johnson? What were their names? Yeah, I don't know any of these guys. That's Russell Johnson. I think that's him. No, that's a professor. Anders, can you answer this? Did this show take place over like... Did this dude just did this? How long were they on this island? Years. Yeah. Yeah, they're stuck. But they never change clothes?
They have the same clothes every episode. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Just like us. They're stranded. Yeah. The whole thing is like it's a three-hour tour. Oh, yeah. Thurston Howell III. And they left from the Newport Beach Harbor. That was where they shot it. Really? No shit, dude. You got to be careful out there, Adam. Promise? Yeah, dude. Promise? No. Oh, boy. Durs, are you talking about Jim Backus? Is that the...
Stop. You're just making up names. Yeah, Jim Backus. Jim Backus is Thurston Howell III. Okay. Durs, as our oldest friend, what was your favorite old show? Was it Gilligan's Island or was it... I got mine. I mean, are we going that far back? Yeah, like old show. Dude, I got... I know mine too, what I loved. Yeah, I mean, dude, like speaking of perverts, like...
I don't mind. Let's talk about them. Like Dick Van Dyke was a tight show. Like I actually really enjoyed it because it was like, I don't even know that. Well, hey, I love Lucy was insanely funny. It was very funny. I love Lucy's very good, but like, I dream of Jeannie. Come on. I dream of Jeannie was good. But Dick Van Dyke, he was a comedy writer.
on the show it was cool i remember as a little kid being like oh you can just be a comedy writer and i didn't like that show i never watched it oh really i never saw it yeah that showed it always seemed too corporate for me i just was like that's not my yeah he's too nar yeah corporate so corporate because yeah he was like an office dude he was sharply dressed and all that i guess oh suit and tie yeah the texture of it was not me i was more mr ed
Mr. Ed, that show sucks. Mr. Ed was, I remember being always disappointed by Mr. Ed. Yeah, that show had nothing to it. Yeah, yeah. Always being like, I'll watch this. It's a talking horse. And I mean like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Wilbur. But it was so sick. All I need is one little gimmick like that and I'm fucking in, bro. I mean, Patty Duke was a babe.
Does this one count? Three's Company. That's like 70s. No, that's not old enough. That's too new. That's 70s. It's got to be before then. Oh, well, that was my shit. Black and White. I'm thinking... Black and White. Oh, really? But then Lucy... Happy Days. Does that count? That's not Black and White. Happy Days is not Black and White. Yeah, Happy Days would count. That's not Black and White. No, no, no. Adam, that's a show from later on that's a play on a throwback. Okay. Oh, is it? Yeah.
Yeah, it took place before it aired. Those shows always trip me out when I'm a kid because I just imagined it was from the time period that they were shooting it. It's like watching Days of Confused now. If you're 15, you're like, dude, is this from the 70s? No, it's from 25 years later. Completely confused me even when it came out.
Because it was all 70s inspired, but it was made in the 90s. I thought it was an old movie. It's a timepiece. It's a timepiece. Like a watch. Braveheart. Yeah, Braveheart was also made in the 90s. That was weird to me because that's about way earlier than the 90s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a trip to me. I'm sure that's very confusing to our director. Passion of the Christ.
Was that... Did that throw you? Passion of the Christ threw you? It's super weird. Yeah, just a trip. Dude, mid-90s fucked me up. Mid-90s really happened. I was like, whoa. Twisted. I know, that just came out. I was like, what? Jonah, come on. You magician, dude. You made this as a child? I don't understand. That's crazy. Yeah, when did you do this? Are you the main character? Is this found footage? Yeah.
What's going on? Was he in it? I can't even remember that movie. Was he in it? No, he was not. No. No, Jonah's not in that. Nope. Not in that. That movie's cool, though. I like that movie. Skate or die. I Stand By I Love Lucy. That is by far the funniest black and white TV show. Yeah, I Stand By The Beatles, I Stand By Macaroni and Cheese. Okay.
Okay. You're asked what the funniest and best old black and white TV show is. Didn't say the best. What's your favorite? Beverly Hillbillies, maybe? It was I Love Lucy. Yeah, Beverly Hillbillies. That was off the chain. I know, but I Love Lucy is great, but it doesn't have that sauce, though.
It does. What are you talking about? I love Lucy had the sauce. No, no, no. You know what it was for me? The Munsters. The Munsters. As soon as you said, what's it called? I was like, the Munsters was off the chain. Or Adam's Family. Oh, my God. That show is corny. I know, but it was like, how is this on? No. Munsters and Adam's Family rock. Yeah, but you were a kid and it was fucking weird. Yes. Blake. Munsters and Adam's Family rock. Adam, it was definitely something that should not be on. Yes.
It felt fucking bizarre. I love the swing. Did anybody watch the new movie, the Rob Zombie one? I want to watch it. There's a new Munsters movie? I watched it. I watched it. It's fucking bizarre. Yes. Who's Eddie Munster? I don't know. And why didn't I get it? Yeah, why didn't Adam book this? Yeah. You should watch it. It's fucking bizarre.
It's really bizarre. They like kept the exact tone. Actually, Adam, I know why. They said you were unavailable because you were doing the Workaholics movie. Yeah, because I was doing the Workaholics movie. It makes sense. God, how many of those are we going to walk back? Fuck. Who's in the new Munsters movie? It's just a bunch of like, I think like- His wife, who's in all of Rob Zombie's movies. Because Rob Zombie drives the Munsters car, right? In real life. He bought it? I think so. Oh, I think so. Yeah. I think he was- I remember him doing- Dragula. I thought he was going to bring back the show. Yeah.
I didn't know that it was going to be a movie. It's a movie, I think. They shot it in Bulgaria, and it's fucking weird. But visually, it looks awesome. I mean, it looks cool. He's a good director. I liked House of a Thousand Corpses in those movies. Yeah, yeah, they're fun. They're very visually bizarre and narratively...
Loose. Narratively loose. I didn't even know that this was a movie. A Munsters movie, 2022. The fact that this got made and the Workaholics movie didn't seems weird. It's fucked up. It does seem weird. Seems weird to me. Who made that? Who made that? Do we know? I think it's Netflix. It's a watch on Netflix. Hey, Netflix, make our movie. Oh, but you know who's in it. Who's in it?
JK, you don't. Oh, fucking Cassandra Peterson. Yep. A.K.A. Elvira. Sure. Any take backs or... And apologies, any epic slams. Compliments. Dead ringers. I would like to give flowers to Paramount Plus. Good on them. You know, leave them wanting less. Oh, I had a dead ringer. I was watching a Pete Davidson stand up in Friends and there's this dude that came out that sang called Big Wet. And I was like, yeah, that's...
Wait, didn't I send you guys a dead ringer of a guy who looks like me and Kyle fucked? Oh, yeah. You did. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was wild. That just came up and I was like, this guy. Oh, my God.
Oh my god. Oh my god. It was like even our minds had fucked in that guy, right? He was like a tech dude. Oh yeah, you do kind of look like Big Wet, Kyle. You see Big Wet? Yeah, you look like Big Wet. Yeah, but you, I mean, you need to gain like five or six pounds. Give me till spring. I'm very depressed now that we're not making this. Give me till spring, man. Well, I have a candy critique.
Oh, good. Freeze-dried Skittles. Very delicious. If you can get your hands on freeze-dried Skittles, they are so good. Freeze-dried? Can you explain more? Yeah, what does that even mean? Can you buy these or you have to freeze-dry them yourself? It's astronaut candy. You can order them online, but basically it's like they put Skittles in a freeze-dryer or whatever and they expand. They like puff up and they're very delicious. You've got to try them. Put them in a freeze-dryer or whatever. Cool. Cool.
I don't know the process. I've never YouTubed it. I'm pretty sure they don't make Skittles and then do something to them, right? Yes. No, they take Skittles and pour it into a freeze dryer or something. What is a freeze dryer? I don't know. They make freeze dried Starbursts, freeze dried... Yeah, it's for astronauts. Astronauts, right? Are astronauts eating this or climbers? You're eating food that was supposed to go to astronauts? I assume so, yeah.
And it's delicious. Or climbers. It's like astronauts or military or something. And it's delicious. So try them. So that's my candy critique. Thank you, Blake. We'll be looking into that. Candy critique. Is this a new segment brought to you by Hershey's and Mars? I guess there are freeze dryer machines and you could just do it. All right. Hey, now we know. Oh. All right. Thanks. And that was another episode of...
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