Ep 147: Ted Talk Dirty To Me
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important. I've done that before and the soap gets in the tip.

Wait, what? You're doing it just like raw? You're just sitting down and watching without anything going into your mouth? Mushroom cloud from a mushroom head. What is coming? Baby, don't squirt me. Buckle up. Diarrhea. Whoa. Okay. Ford or Adam? Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. That one's the best one. I mean, I know we talk about these a lot. Like, we revisit the soundbites, but that one's the best. Blake, what's your favorite soundbite? Diarrhea. Welcome to This Important. We're going to rank our diarrhea clips. My favorite soundbite? Yeah, your favorite out of all the soundbites. Diarrhea. No, just diarrhea soundbites. Let's just do that. Oh, just diarrhea soundbites? Yeah, out of the three. I like... The Cause of Diarrhea. The Cause of Diarrhea, that one. Oh, that one's so good.

Can we hear them all? Yeah, sure. Okay, let's run through some diarrhea. Diarrhea. This is important. Yeah, all the diarrhea books. This one's the first one, the classic. Diarrhea.

That one's great. And of course, there's... That one's pretty good. I like that. That has like a 90s jazz, hip-hop vibe to it. Yeah. Marky Mark. Right. Like Marky Mark. It is like Marky Mark for sure. Good vibration. Not that one. You got to call them out. One, two, three. So that was number three. This is number three. Diarrhea Cowboy. I like that one. Yeah. That's more of a country twang to it.

I like that one. They're having fun. Yeah. That's a boot scooting boogie. Of course there's... That one's pretty good. That's not diarrhea though. That's not from the commercials. That's just from the song. Well, there's only three from the commercial. Then there's... The cause of diarrhea. Number four, the cause of diarrhea. Isn't that from a commercial?

I think that's just my mom. Is it your mom? I don't know what that's from. I'm sorry. I thought all the diarrhea ones were from like a chain of commercials for the same thing. A lot of them are from Pepto Bismol commercials, but some of them I just like pulled off of like Instagram, like just like TED Talks about diarrhea. There's a TED Talk about diarrhea? Hold up. Yeah, dude. Like this one? Diarrhea.

I think that was just like how to say diarrhea in English. Okay. So not a TED talk. You're doing work behind the scenes. Okay. I like that. And then what's this one? I like how Blake thinks about the podcast. Okay. Not used enough. I don't know if I've heard that. I feel like you don't. That one doesn't get a lot of love. Yeah. But it's long. It's long. But this one's pretty good. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. That was the TED talk.

That was the best one. Yeah. So that's a Ted talk. Yeah. Let's just talk about how Ted talks have gotten absent. Like they're no, they have no longer any weight to them. You don't have to be smart. Yeah. It feels, it feels like at first it was like, Oh, they're really teaching us about a thing. And then now they're just like, Hey, don't have too many beans. Yeah.

Or whatever the thing is that makes you have diarrhea. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. I have no idea. Maybe I should watch this TED Talk. Dude, that's huge, though. I remember people talking about them as if they were something to be seen. Yes. Well, when they first came out, they were kind of, weren't they? It was like this new thing where you could see these fucking professorial people. It's the tiny desks of smart people. Oh, boy.

Yeah, I think it was a way to be like, oh, you know, I don't know anything about whatever, global warming or something. I don't know anything about it. So I'm going to watch this scientist talk about global warming for 15 minutes and feel and then I can lord that information over my dumb friends. Right. That's key. Key, Adam. You know, and that was kind of the main reason. But now they're just telling you stuff that you kind of already know about like.

Diarrhea. I covered diarrhea. I know. I talk to my dumb friends about diarrhea all the time. And we all know. We know all the information about diarrhea. What is there to know about diarrhea? I watched one about like sports that a kid who grew up on my block did that like went. That was a big one. Shout out David Epstein. What was what? What about sports? It was just like the evolution of sports and like how.

Things in sports have changed, but athletes haven't really gotten that much faster, right?

What? Just the rules change? Well, yeah. What you're running on and the shoes you have. People used to run in a dirt track in the Olympics like 70 years ago. And now you're running on super bouncy, grippy track and you have spiked shoes. How much of the improvement has been the evolution of training and how much is the technology?

Same with swimming and sports technology. So if you put a, you're thinking, if you, you're saying if you put like an athlete in the shoes and on the track, but they're from like 1919, they're going to fucking rock the same as an athlete from 2019. It's possible. Oh my God. Is that real, Ben?

This is a TED Talk. This is worth being a TED Talk. Imagine Bo Jackson on turf. Imagine Bo Jackson on turf, dude. I don't even want to, dude. That would be crazy. I feel like people were lifting, like people were working out

In the way we know how to work out now. I don't know if people in the, like the 1800s were doing the types of workouts to get the amount of strength that you need. Right. But what he's saying is that like the, the best of the best, like maybe, maybe like more people are in better shape and like the, the field is deeper or whatever, but like the best of the best, uh,

aren't really that much faster than they were without these like advancements in science and stuff in technology around the sports. So if you put like a frontline battle warrior in the right

outfits like into the cage it would they would they would fucking rock an mma fight now they're just as strong as mma fighters well yeah but that also comes down to like technique so if you taught the technique to that person back then like they might be wrecking shop right exactly yeah i feel like no you couldn't are you an old-timey battle warrior like kyle just said yeah like

Close your eyes. You see it. Couldn't go into the octagon, bro, because, because, uh, they don't know all the, the sweet maneuvers. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But that, that's just advancements in technology. Really? Not technology, just the technique of, uh, instead of learning tech, tech, something, one discipline, uh,

People learn multiple disciplines now. It's tech money. Dersh, put it in porno terms for us, please. Yeah, please. Please put it in. So we can understand. So we can understand. How do I do this? The largest cock in 1776...

Dick's been big. Strokes aren't getting better. Dude, it's an advancement. Medieval time dick is just as good as today's dick. I disagree. It's a dirtier dick. I disagree. Some people want that dirt. Why is a medieval dick not clean? Because of just showers? Dude, it's dragged in the mud. Kyle, if you don't know the answer to that one. I'm sorry, mom!

Because of just showers and stuff? Like soap and stuff? Water trap. Hit the showers, kid. Dude, that's that Black Plague dick, dude. That shit is not good. Leprosy penis where the dick just comes off? Yeah. Warhammer fucking. What?

I feel that our TED talk would be, it would be definitely porno based, right? I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On anything based in porno for sure. Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. Get it. Come. It's a lot of thank you for coming. Yes.

Thank you for coming. That's C-U-M-M-I-N-G. Okay, we're going to start there. The cum. I'm going to cum. Blake loves that way too much. Dude, I'm hyped. Dude, if we did a four-way TED Talk, that's what our tour is about to be is just a portal TED Talk. Cum original. I did find the whole thing very annoying. Like TED Talks, just very like, all right, I don't know.

I know. I never clicked with them. I remember thinking a couple were fire. Like what? I can't really give a specific example. Yeah, you don't. So fire. I remember liking like, I thought it was cool. I know one. I know one that I thought was fire. Like fucking Rodney Mullins, who was like the skateboarder who invented the Ollie. I thought that was sick. Wow. And then he was like, I just kicked it up and then the board came up.

and I sort of leveled it out with the other foot and then I landed it. You're saying he invented the ollie? Hey, I have another hour to talk, so let me say a bunch of bullshit. Yeah. They're like, is that it? And I'm getting the light. All right. No light yet, Rodney. You got to...

String it out a little bit. Yes. Still talk. Still talk. So, trucks. I think I thought it was cool, though, because it was like skateboarding at a TED Talk. It was like it was not supposed to be there. You know, it felt... Yeah. Again, we're back to tiny desks. Well, I feel like... Right, right. Dude, that's the bad guy to do. Like...

you invented the Ollie. Like, okay, but don't you want to talk about like, and Tony Hawk, like someone that like took the sport to the next level. No, you got to listen to Rodney talk. He's really, really philosophical and very soft spoken. He's like, I guess, I guess that's why I don't love it. It's like the art of talking. And I'm kind of like, who fucking needs to hear this? Yeah. Blake, you don't remember one Ted talk. Blake,

likes the idea he likes that it was popular on the internet I think it was like I think it was like a soldier or something and he was like oh really don't do that don't do that yeah what is this dude I can do it if I want to I think it was like a soldier and he's kind of like talking about it that's even more disrespectful dude it was it was a damn soldier I remember every soldier okay so you think it was kind of a

soldier or it was a soldier? What is the deal? It was a no limit soldier. It was Master P, dude. It was crazy. What side was the soldier on? He's talking about rap snacks. Yeah, it was a rap snacks TED talk and it was really informative. Master P talking about like coming from nothing. Okay, so there's exceptions to every rule. Blake's lying again.

I would watch a Master P TED Talk. That would be insanely cool. Come on. Wait, Master P would do a master class. And I'm waiting for it. And I want to hear it. Oh, that's the next TED Talk.

That's when they're like, you know what? We're going to fucking start charging for this shit. We're going to do the masterclasses. That's the next iteration. Yeah, but the masterclasses are based on a skill set. They're not hypothetical bullshit that someone's like, makes sense, doesn't it? And have you guys ever taken a masterclass? Yeah, what are those? Wait, these are for dirt real quick. Yeah, points! Go ahead. What are the masterclasses? Oh.

It's like you're taking a literal class on directing or comedy or cooking. But it was on the internet, right? You could buy it. Yeah, it still is. You could still do it. You could buy it and people will give it to you as a gift. You want to learn how to cook. Bobby Flay. Check out fucking Salt Bae. Martha Stewart or someone would teach you how to cook and teach you the basics. I took one with... I was interested in Steve Martin's just to hear his master class on comedy. And...

I save your money. What's the... So how many... When you say you took a class, Adam, is this like... Save your money, dude. Like you can easily figure it out without spending the $200 or whatever the master class cost. Sure, sure. So how many classes is it? Yeah. It was the most basic like...

What is funny to you? It's definitely to teach people that have no sense of humor how to be slightly funny. But if you were 12 or like if you were... This is for 12-year-olds? I don't think it's for 12-year-olds. Well, no, I'm just saying like if you're 18, sure. But if you're 18 and you're getting into comedy, would you value it? I remember you liked his book a lot. I liked his book because I liked hearing his story.

You specifically told me you liked the part where he was like, I used to wear blackface. I'm really leaning into that part. Remember when you wrote that on a piece of paper and you slid it to me? No, he didn't do that. Yes, he did. He did?

Yeah, as a child, his dad and he had like an act where he would put on black. Oh, I don't I don't remember that part of the book. The frickin. Yeah. Was it was it funny when the jerk didn't he grow up a poor black child? And then he dyed his hair white out of solidarity. He was like, you know what? Undo that. This isn't really what I'll do. So now I'm ready for your TED talk on misinformation. Yeah. Yeah.

Allegedly! That would be pretty cool. Maybe he did. I think he did. I feel like when I read the book, he said he did that. I don't know. Maybe. I never read that book. I don't remember that. I've read that book twice, and I don't remember that. Adam's like, yeah, old hat. And who didn't? Yeah. Who didn't back in the day? Read some books? Next page. Me. I didn't. Steve Martin. Exactly. Steve Martin, but did he...

He had like albums too, right? Like, that's right. Like Steve Martin records. Yeah. Yeah. He was the first person like sellout stadiums, uh, doing comics. Fucking cool. Yeah. I got to look him up. I love when Blake, I love when Blake, uh, pretends not to know information. So why did he stop doing comedy? Did he stop? He became a movie star and was busy, but,

He never went back to the stage to do stand-up, right? He's doing it now with Martin Short. But that's a two-man show. I mean, I'm talking just stand-up. He gave that up, right? No, he said he started to not like it where it got too big for him. He missed the clubs and keeping it smaller, but he was selling too many tickets. I get that. The small audience. You could do blackface. No one knows. I don't know if he does.

What a fucking cool thing to say, by the way. Nah, it's too big. I'm fucking just gonna... Hey, while we're here talking about who I think is a comedy god, I think Steve Martin's fantastic. Can we just address Paul Rubens? Pee Wee Herman has passed. Dude, did we just talk about him on the podcast? I don't really remember bringing him on. We talk about him every time we talk about Blow, but maybe that's about it. Which is, yeah, probably a lot because it's the best movie ever.

Derek for real I think from what I gathered we mentioned him in speaking about Mystery Men so you know his kind of his opus we just did we just mentioned it we didn't mention the Angus Cloud guy though we did not mention him did we no we'll give him his time that one was not on us Paul Rubens dude

Man, rest in peace, Pee Wee, dude. Rest in peace. I was actually really surprised and stoked to see how many people were shouting out Pee Wee Herman, like Paul Rubens. I know, me too. I just talked with Chloe about that. I was like, it's cool that he's getting such... It's actually a little bit of a bummer that I feel like he didn't get his true moment before he passed away.

I mean, that's how it always is. But it's like we want to give people flowers while they're still alive, but then we give them flowers and they immediately die. We can't do it. We can't do it. We no longer can do it. But the world, I think, can. Well, this is what I was thinking to what you're saying, Adam. I was thinking of the day, like yesterday or whatever it was. He's one of those...

people or artists or whatever that everybody feels like was theirs. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it was like their secret. Like, no, no, no. Like I'm really into this guy. Like,

And that's very hard to do. There's not many people who connect on that level. And some people are huge stars that like, you know, you're Michael Jackson's, you're Bruce Springsteen's, you're Jay-Z's who like they reach a bunch of people. But he was somebody who people were like, no, no, no, this dude's mine. Like, I love him. Like he connected to me, which is amazing.

I don't know, more valuable to me as an artist than like reach, you know, broad reach. Dirt says he's an artist. I was just surprised at like how many people. You're an artist, buddy. They like cited him as like the reason that they felt comfortable being weird and having imagination and all that stuff. Like, I don't I just didn't realize how many people.

were influenced by him as just like somebody who was the crux of their young imagination. Right. Especially Pee Wee Herman was such a, especially for people our age. I feel like people, like Chloe is eight years younger than me and she doesn't really know Pee Wee Herman. Like she knows that it's a thing, but it didn't resonate with her in the same way. Was that show when we were growing up? She was like, I remember watching it and it was kind of scary. And I'm like,

Yeah, that's why it was tight. Pee-wee's Big Adventure is scary. I remember kind of feeling that too. I remember feeling that it was a little bit like, whoa. Pee-wee's Big Adventure is scary. But that's what was cool about it. Because of Marge Marge. Marge Marge is one of the scariest shots as a child. Yeah. The claymation one. Yeah, yeah. Pee-wee was...

There was always something a little uneasy about him. That's what was cool. That was kind of what was cool about a lot of stuff in our childhood in the 90s is that stuff was kind of creepy. Like it had that little... Yeah, well, that had the Tim Burton flair on it that was like, you know...

macabre, if you will. It's got this fucking kind of like... Speaking of artist. Gothic, I guess, is a better term. It has this gothic vibe. You know how we make movies now that are for kids that have jokes for adults? That's the whole thing. They used to make movies for adults that kids could watch. So there's a bunch of things in that movie. That's a movie for grown-ups, right? Like,

but it's got that weird Len. Yeah, I think it is like we, I think is a movie for grownups. It's a movie for adults, but like kids watch it because you're like, Whoa, like dinosaurs. And like, it's about a kid losing his bicycle, but it's an adult dude. And as a kid, you watch it and you're like, what the fuck is he a kid? Or is he a grownup? Is Francis a child? Right? Super weird ass Francis, dude. I got to rewatch. It is cool. I'm like, I wonder if a movie like that would ever get made nowadays. Uh,

because it was a character from The Groundlings, which The Groundlings is an improv school here in California on Melrose. So it was made for adults. Even in its genesis, it was for adults. It was a fucked up kid show for adults. Yes. Originally a Groundlings character and then an HBO special, I believe, before it was a big adventure. Yeah, I think so. And then it gained some popularity and then they made this insane movie. Mm-hmm.

And I don't know. I don't see that trajectory for a movie for like a weird character piece nowadays. No. Yeah. Right. Right. And by the way, it's so funny and it's so perfectly cast and like,

Every character in that movie is amazing. And then he's at the center of it, like still a little bit above everybody else. Right. And then the fucking TV show where it's like, all right, so kids love this fucking wacky movie. Now I'm like, now I'm going to switch gears and do like a very wholesome version of what that movie was for kids with even crazier, cooler characters. Like John B, the guy who died like last year, maybe two years ago, it was.

like mega like a hi make a hiney ho yeah the quotes from peewee's playhouse and from peewee's big adventure are crazy i know you are but what am i i know you are but what am i hey jared dude epic slam yeah i mean i i feel like i still use that one i quote it almost weekly probably in some way that's good it's a good comeback

Yeah. Dude, from the movie Big Top Peewee, right? That's the name. Big Top Peewee. But is Big Adventure a different one? I guess I'm kind of confused a little bit. That was the first one, right? Big Adventure? Wait, there were two? Big Adventure's the first. Oh, I think I've only seen the second one. What? You've never seen Peewee's Big Adventure? Big Adventure is the bike in the Alamo, right? Yes. That's the mission. Yes. And Francis stole it, maybe, but he didn't. In the basement. Yes, in the basement of the Alamo. Dude.

I don't know if I saw that. Yeah, that's a road movie. It's beautiful. Bro, Blake. You're coming over tonight. No. I have a housewarming gift to give you too. So we'll just watch this movie at some point in the next few days. Which one has... Because there's this very specific scene that fucked me up forever. When his girlfriend, she's like, I made you your favorite food. And he's like...

chicken corn on blue or whatever and it ends up being the egg salad sandwich and it's like dropping on his face and i never ate egg salad sandwiches specifically because i was so disgusted by the way peewee reacted to the sandwich right is that big top yeah is that penelope ann miller is that her name

I don't know. I just remember I never ate egg salad sandwiches. Now I like them, but it took me about 25 years before I took my first bite off the strength of people. What about, do you remember the shot in a big, big adventure where he pulls the chain out of his bike case and it just keeps going and go to lock his bike up right before it gets stolen. And you could see the chain coming out of the bottom of it. Like the never ending chain. Yeah. I was wondering if Tim Burton was like, and just fucking leave it. That's kind of funny.

Damn. Probably left it, but they've cropped it out in other versions that I've watched. Wow. Oh, really? Oh, so they've hidden it. So maybe it was a mistake. I've seen it cropped out and I've seen it still in there before. Which one does he do the tequila dance? That's Big Adventure. Yeah, that's Big Adventure. You've seen Big Adventure. Okay, then I've seen that. I've seen that. Without a doubt. There's no way I haven't, right? But Big Top Peewee is wacky. It's definitely not as...

inventive. It doesn't have Tim Burton directing it. No shots fired at the other director, but it doesn't have that kind of macabre. Extra sauce. Whatever. The gothic macabre sauce. The macabre goth. But I just want to say that I had a fucking crazy moment at Mike Lovano's 40th birthday when we went out to the desert and stayed at that like

It's like a trailer park, but like, you know, kitschy, fun, whatever. Yeah, what is that place called? Because I was there too, and then we missed each other by a day because it was a weekend thing. I could only do Friday, and you could only do Saturday. I don't know. Out in Joshua Tree, it's a trailer park, very like Instagrammable, and every trailer is like a different theme. And they have...

one of the trailers from Big Top Peewee. I don't know who was staying in it, but I was like, can I please just go in your trailer and scope it out? And it was real quick. And J-O, very fast. And we'll get to that. What's the Wi-Fi password for this trailer? He was the first guy to really publicly J-O. And now we make a podcast where we're like, where have you jacked off? Dude, that's what happened. Wait, we're burying the lead. That's what happened.

Very Instagrammable. They tried to derail our boy's career off just a little J-O sesh, man. And I'm not having it, man. I'm not having it. Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah. No, it's not right. That was... Yeah, it's not right. And then he went out and hosted the MTV Awards and was like, heard any good jokes lately? Yeah, dude. The best. The best.

Dude, he had to really claw his way back for some shit that I think is like it's okay to do now, right? Like that's fine. I kind of think so. I mean, you can go for it, Blake. Go for it. I think he was arrested and that's probably why. And this is my TED talk.

But what is it? It was in a porno theater. It was in a porno theater. Yeah, it is weird. It is weird because he got arrested for jerking off in a porno theater. Yeah. But isn't that what porno theaters are for? Exactly. Exactly. To me, I'm like, I thought everyone was jerking off in these porno theaters. That feels like the exact right forum. This wasn't at the Barbie movie. Come on, man. My boy was putting in work where his work was meant to be done, dude. I mean,

pre-internet porno. By the way, have you guys seen the Oppenheimer or Barbie yet? The Barbenheimer? I haven't. No, but are we closing the book on PW? Are we moving on? I'm fine to move on. Oh, sure. I just wanted to make sure we gave our shout out. Well, I had one other thing on the PW. I was just wondering if you guys watched the newest Pee Wee incarnations because there was a few that came out in the last...

maybe five years or something wasn't it no there was one and it came out on netflix right yeah yeah yeah it was a netflix joint it was just one yeah i think so yeah i think so uh sorry there was no there was a live stage show that came out and then there was also a movie about like christmas or something i gotta check it out man i haven't seen it yeah yeah it's kind of funny yeah it's pretty good actually you should check it out i bet i bet all right cool good rec thanks for the rec self-rec

Right.

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You guys have not seen Barbie or Oppenheimer. You guys aren't big movie fans. I'm on strike, man. I haven't been able to break away. From what I heard about Barbie, it shits on men. I refuse to see it. It's pretty funny. I heard it's good. I want to see it back. I actually really liked it. Me and my buddy Zach, I wish I was pizza on Instagram. We went and saw it last night. It was super fun.

Yeah, I'm trying to go, but actually I've heard a lot of the showings are sold out. People are going to the movies right now. Dude, it was crazy. It was Tuesday. It was last night. It was a Tuesday night, and it was packed. Yeah, dude. It's kind of a bummer that everything is on strike and shit because it feels like there's good momentum in the movie theaters, but- I know. It feels like there's- In the movie theaters, but-

In the butt of the movie theater. You think there's good movement in the movie theater's butt? That's what you just said. I'm sorry, dude. Hold up. How do you know that? How do you know about the movie theater's butt, though? And what even is a movie theater's butt to you? Dude, come on. Don't jump down my throat on this one, man. Please. Jump up his butt. A movie theater's throat? Okay.

I do want to see it, but I went and saw, and I do have a take back for later. I saw the new Mission Impossible instead. Oh, okay. You didn't like the new Mission Impossible? I thought it was fun, dude. Okay, let's go. Here we go. I just watched all the Mission Impossible movies and then went to see that, so I think I was fully primed to love it. Yeah. It's the worst one of the last two or three, though, right? Here he goes. It's the tiny desk of Mission Impossibles.

I don't know. I really enjoyed it. I thought it was super fun. I'm ready for the next one. It seemed cheaper and kind of like not as polished as the last couple. When you say cheap, what do you mean? It just didn't seem as polished.

As grand? Yeah, it didn't seem as grand. It didn't seem as like polished. Just like it didn't seem as well made. It seemed kind of like plain and very confusing. Like screenplay a little vanilla? What's up? A lot of like, let me take these four minutes to like explain what's going on for the audience. And then you're just like. Loose. We can't bake this into a set piece or something. Oh.

Was it filmed during COVID? I really liked it. Was it filmed during COVID? Was that a COVID masterpiece? Yeah. Because sometimes I've noticed that some of those movies that are like super huge scale that they filmed during COVID, there's like, you had to cut some corners in it. I don't know. There's like, like the newest Ant-Man sort of. Yeah, that could be. I'll still see the next

because it's to be continued, but like, I was not, I was the whole time. I was like, Oh yeah, this isn't great. This is, you didn't know that guy. No. Yeah. It's a two partner. Yeah. It's a two partner. Oh, I didn't know that. That's interesting. That's an interesting thing. I was wrong about those guys saying it's basically just, uh, fast and furious. That one was very dumb. It seemed like the dumbest one so far. Are you,

Are you reading some books? So you're saying it is kind of like Fast and the Furious. This, this latest one. Yes. Although it still, it's got Tom Cruise. Um, but I didn't, it didn't give Tom Cruise a scene to be like, great. Yeah. He's grounded this in a way where I'm,

on board with this guy. And he's trying to save this woman that he like just met, like as if she matters more than it's weird. He's in love. Is he in love? Is, is Ethan in love? It's weird. If he is in love, dude, the,

Every movie, there's something insane like that where he's like, he can't let one person die to save a billion. He has to. Yeah, but this movie has like a past love or like someone from the past. And then he's like, there's two now. Oh, player alert.

Sounds like a play over. And you know I hate players. Damn. Speaking of good movies. We know he hates players. How to be a player. Well, Oppenheimer was fantastic. Barbie was really fun. Did you do the double feature, Adam? No, I did it a week apart. Did you wear all pink? I saw...

Mission Impossible three weeks ago, Oppenheimer last week, and then Barbie this week. You did it. Good for you, bud. Barbenheimer Popple? I like that. Dude. Mission Barbenheimer. What was your snack game? Yeah. Snack game is popcorn and Junior Mints. Baby! Okie dokie!

Hey, are you throwing the mints? Are you throwing the mints in the popcorn? I am throwing the mints. Ew! Fuck yes you are, dog. That's what I'm talking about. Sorry, dude. Sorry, dude. I fuck with junior mints. Did you poke your dick through the popcorn? Oh, diner! Get your peewee on. No, because I've done that before. The soap gets in the tip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've put your dick through the popcorn?

Don't act like we all haven't put our dick through the popcorn. You guys just said, did you put your dick through the popcorn? Did you put it through the bottom? Yeah, obviously. I knew it was going to be that kind of party. Dick in the mashed potatoes. Obviously, I did. I'm watching it with my buddy and my wife. Trying to get a hand out. It's a real grab bag. Either you want popcorn or you don't. What are we feels on the Mount Rushmore of...

theater snacks dude Reese's Pieces bunch of crunch bunch of crunch when they were out that was the move not bunch of crunch not don't tell me that's my truth I'm living it is that no it's not that it's not that because you're forgetting about something you're forgetting about a little bit of cookie dough bites oh gross

Okay, so your Mount Rushmore of snacks are things that have been discontinued because no one likes them. No, I'm actually going nostalgic. I'm going nostalgic. I'm truly like, what are these things you speak of? I like to get a Crystal Pepsi, some cookie dough bites, and just nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. And cozy up. Oh my God.

Dude, that's my shit. That makes sense from you, Blake. I could see that for you. No, fuck that. Cookie dough bites are gross, Kyle. You're wrong about that. I actually kind of remember they taste a little bit like fucking machines or something. Yeah, they were dust machines. Well said.

Adam, can we get away from this insanity? What's yours, man? My go-to is I love Junior Mints. Yeah, we know. That's disgusting. I know that that's an odd choice. It's a good choice. But I like them. I really enjoy Junior Mints, and I like to put them in popcorn. They got cum in them. They do. They're filled with cum. They are. I'm going to get a cum.

He knows. Adam knows. Minty cum. And I love it. But also with the junior mints clumped together is the most fucked up shit you'll ever have in your life. Yeah.

It's like a big old glob of clump. And what I do, a fun thing that I do is I like to cover my face in it and then walk out of the theater like nothing happened. Junior Mitt Bukkake, bro. What movie did he see? Just walk out of the theater like, Junior Bukkake. Wow.

Wow. What movie did he see? He must have saw Barbenheimer. Yeah. He got the peewee special, boy. There was a real blast in Oppenheimer. Explosion. Explosion. I'm going to come.

Okay. A mushroom cloud from a mushroom head. Durrs, don't say something dumb, man. I feel like Durrs is a hot dog guy. I feel like he's a fucking hot dog or a pretzel guy. Yeah, he fucking pulls up with the pretzels and hot dogs. We used to work at a movie theater. We don't like you guys. No.

I haven't said anything yet. And I think what I'm going to say is going to make... We don't like you guys. I don't think this is going to make anybody angry, but it's not going to make anybody happy. All right. Story of your life. No, that's how mine was. I mean, I feel like you guys were angry at me for Junior Mints. I'm like, it's just a snack. You don't have to share that snack. No, no. Those are just disgusting. I'm not angry. For the record... Those are gross, dude. They're not. You're eating breath mints. Do you like York...

peppermint patties or whatever they're called. Bro, York's are fucking peppermint patties. I love York's are solid. Do you eat toothpaste? Exactly. What is your deal? Oh my God. Who gives a shit? It's mint. What's your major malfunction? I don't eat toothpaste. I also like Thin Mints. Thin Mints? What are those? Oh, the cookies. The cookies. Right.

You're talking on days. What about on days? Those are fire. I like those too. How are we saying on days? Right. And the pill. What are you? Andy. Yeah. They have little mountains there because they're the Andy. Yeah. There are Andy's for sure. Yeah. Blake, you are so dumb. Well, we say Mount Diablo. Dude, it's another thing like zebra and Diablos.

Diablo. This is how you guys don't know how to say words. Zip it. All day. It's Andy's. I love that you guys are giving the hard on, but yeah, it's Andy's. Really? No, that would be A-N-D-Y-S. Thank you. Apostrophe S. Wow. This is on days.

It's the Andes Mountains. What are the Andes Mountains? You're just making up mountain ranges? Bro, not on my watch. It's on the wrapper. No, I know, but one of them is wrong. Just because something's on the wrapper doesn't mean it's real. That's a real mountain range? Where is it? What is happening? No, it's real, Blake. It's real. Chill out. It's real. It's real, Blake. Chill. Chill. I'm going to stop you. I've never heard of the Andes. But I'm still very confused because I thought it was Andes. So this is really fucking weird.

You thought it was Andes Mountains. No, I thought it was Andes Mints. It's in South Africa. South Africa. Sorry, South America. South America. Yeah. I'm like, Joe, what is cracking? This is our TED Talk, bitch. Sorry, sorry, sorry. This dude thinks it's Table Mountain. Hey, what happened?

The Andes are in South America. It's in South America. Like down to Patagonia, right? Running along South America's western side. Oh, boy. Colombia, Venezuela. Give me Patagonia. No? Okay. One of the longest mountain ranges? Yeah. How have I never heard of these mountains? You are so dumb. What the hell? Blake, you have. It's the same thing as like you didn't know that you saw Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Like just information goes in. It goes right out. I have CTE from fucking Buzzballs.

Guys, I'm just going to drop my thing to the theater. Okay, go for it. Nothing. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Stop it. God damn it. I don't like eating during movies. Oh, God.

You're not even bringing anything? I hate listening to other people eating during movies. I hate making the noise. Oh, God. And then your fingers, you're like, what am I? Do you have a drink? No, because then you got to go to the bathroom, maybe. Wait, what? You're doing it just like raw? You're just sitting down and watching without anything going into your mouth? You're a creep. I know what you're thinking. What am I sticking my dick through? Yeah.

And it actually prevents me from doing it. That's why I don't get it. Otherwise, I'm sticking my dick through the bottom of the milk. You lose. I got my dick in an icy, dude. What did you think I was going to say? A dove bar? I get the box dove bar. Oh, you are for sure the dove bar guy. Haagen-Dazs. I like a glass of wine and a dove bar. I could see you getting an ice cream or something. Bonbons. For real, 100% of the time, you get nothing.

98 to 99% of my movie going life. I've got damn dude. That's a big percentage. And I know you're playing it cool right now. Like this was an adult decision, but we damn well know this spawns from your childhood. Your parents were like, fuck no, you're not getting shit. My parents never took me to movies.

See? We've been over this. I went to one movie with my dad and he was like, that was horrible. And I was like, I liked it. What was it? Hook? Remember Hook? Oh yeah, it was Hook. He was like, you didn't like that. That's a good ass movie. I know. That's a classic. Does not hold up. Yes, it does. What? No, I watched it the other day and my dad was right.

Dude, I can't let you... You don't like Robin Williams, so I could... That's true. We're off the hook. Robin Hook.

It robbed me of two hours. I don't know that I've ever seen a movie in the theater without getting popcorn. Without popcorn? Without getting popcorn. I don't know that I've ever done that. I hate the like, and then it's on your hands and you're like, ah, do you have a napkin? Well, I have been going to the theater a lot lately and I do get the snacks every time. And admittedly, yesterday I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm

I have to eat 3,000 calories of popcorn and junior mints right now. What are you getting? Are you getting a large? Are you getting a large every time? We're getting a large and I'm splitting it. But then I always, I just can't help myself. I keep snacking. Yeah, I know.

And especially during like Oppenheimer, it's like three hours long and you keep snacking. Look, you know what I'll say? I'll say this. In my past, what I do remember getting back in the day was Butterfinger Bites. There we go. I'm so fucking hungry. They were like the little Butterfingers. But then you sit there for the rest of the movie with the Butterfinger just like caked in your teeth and you're like... But that's why you got to get a water. I always get a water. I always get an Aquafina.

Or like some sort of Dasani or something. Or some sort of Dasani, you know what I mean? Dasani. Yeah, Dasani. That ain't doing the trick. Or Smart Water. They always have one of those ones. I don't get sodas, though. Dasani tastes like machines, dude. That's gross. It does. I used to like that shit. Aluminium, mate. I like it. Dasani is my favorite water. And they just had a study come out that all these waters have forever chemicals. All the waters that you like.

And Dasani is one of the best waters for you and does not have the Forever chemicals. Really? Yeah. But that's why it tastes like shit? That's why. Oh, the Forever? Damn. It doesn't have all those good plastics. Blake wants that flavor. I love the taste. To me, it tastes like water, and it all tastes the exact same. And anyone that is convinced that any water tastes different,

is a fucking idiot. And they're just, they're convinced. I don't know, dude. Have you ever had the straight? No, they're different. They're different. If you've ever had that. No, if you drink Evian, Evian tastes, I'm not saying I like Evian more than other ones, but Evian tastes different. Nah, you've been marketed. You've been marketed. You know what else tastes different? You might have been marketed. Fucking Aquapana. Aquapana from Italy. That shit tastes hella different. Hella different. No, dude. I actually can't be marketed. What's the one in the tube?

with the silver top, like, Hoss water. Voss, baby. Get some Voss. Voss. I went to Voss. We'll get there. I guarantee you, guys, I guarantee you, if we had metal plastic cups or whatever type of cups. Metal plastic cups, did you just say? Come on. Like,

A metal cup or a plastic cup. Whatever type of cup. It's science. We do a taste test. You guys would absolutely not be able to tell any difference of any water. Bullshit. I would. Can we drink out of a glass, please? Or does it have to be something that you can taste the plastic and the metal?

whatever type of thing you want to drink out of. Let's drink out of cardboard. A clay bowl. Plastic cups and metal cups definitely flavor the water a little bit. Does it? That's why Boss is so good.

Adam wants to drink out of an old used skillet. A little rust in it. You want to eat out of one of those old Mayan ladies bowls where they just grind the jalapenos down? Yeah, a clay bowl. I've already said a clay bowl. Yeah, well, I want the Teflon flakes. Okay, so...

So whatever glass that you guys want to drink out of. Just glass. Yeah. And to me, that would taste like glass, dude. Gross. I'm not trying to drink glass. I actually really like this experiment. I think that that would be really fun to try waters and see if there is a taste. Dude, that's what's so crazy about this podcast is we'll do anything. Yeah, man. We're out of control. Yeah, man. We're fucking psycho. We're wild. Line them up. Line up these waters. This shit's important. Oh, my God.

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You want to know what the best water is? Hands down. That shit's important. What's it called? Propel. Propel? The Gatorade water, dude. The Gatorade water. The Gatorade? I used to drink that shit like wildness, dog. And I know it's discontinued, but Gatorade fucked up for that.

It's back. Propel is back. Propel is back. Because Mindy Kaling's peddling that shit on Instagram, dude. Oh my God. I never liked Propel. Why do you like Propel? Propel doesn't have enough flavor in it. The lemon Propel used to go down at the crib. Oh my God. I don't think it has enough flavor though. I think it's just whack. Exactly. Exactly. Well, wait. So it's not just water. You're saying flavored waters and flavored waters do taste like things. Dude, it's...

Sugar. This is like sugar water. Flavor waters do taste like things. It's total sugar water. No, dude. What do you mean? It's enhanced. It's enhanced water. Don't call me der. No, dude. Propel is water. There's water in it. Well, yeah. Everything that's like liquid has a water base, right? I mean, just to be clear. Yeah, that's kind of true. So I'll give you a shot of something, Doug. What? Come on.

Some Junior Mints. That is also water-based. But that is water-based. That is water-based. I think that still has water in it. I'll shoot a load of Junior Mints all over your face, Gov. I think cum has water in it. Why would cum not have water in it? I don't know. No, cum for sure has water in it. It has to. There's no way. It's a liquid. I don't know if it has water. Does it have water in it? Well, your body is hella water. We're like 78% water. It might as well propel. Yeah, it's like 80% water. And when you jizz, that's... But what is cum?

80% water. What is cum? Baby, don't squirt me. Damn, that's points for me. Amazing. What is it? This is our TED Talk. We find the loop back around. Yes, points! What is cum?

In 1880, there was more water and cum in the 1980s. I'm going to the Ozarks. You are? What's up, Adam? What are you saying? Hey. Yeah, I'm going to the Ozarks tomorrow. Speaking of cum. Yeah. Oh. Okay, Shady Gator, where can we see you? You doing some stand-up or just visiting the folks? What's going on? Just visiting the folks. Only stand-up, not seeing the family. Yeah, I'm not going to see my family. I'm just doing stand-up. That would be cool. Damn. No, I'm going to go visit the family in.

in the Ozarks. It's going to be a real throw down. Nice. Is it going to be some jet skiing or what? Oh yeah, jet skiing, the whole thing. Jealous, jealous. Yeah, super jealous. We'll see. My hip and back have been real painful lately. So we'll see how much jet skiing I'm able to do. Nothing like a jet ski to just rattle that thing into the worst position. Yeah, that seems... We'll see. Maybe it'll rattle it back into place. I don't know. I'm trying to rattle something. Something needs to get rattled.

Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. If you fixed your body via jet ski. Via jet ski. You're a legend, mate. You're a legend. That would be a cool chiropractor. But I mean, this is Dr. Brozark's. Let me see you. Just get on a jet ski. That'll shake it loose. Yeah, you know, that's what Dr. Brozark prescribes is just a hearty jet ski ride. That makes sense to me. Bro, all you need is two Jaeger shots and five minutes on a jet ski, dude. Kawasaki. Kawasaki.

oh my god wait so adam uh when you go there do you do the crazy travel route that like we did where it's like you fly into st louis and then are you town carring it well we did uh kansas city yeah kansas city kansas city kansas city thank you either way missouri which is fucking weird but missouri right not that way okay but uh kansas though kansas city over it

Kansas city. Arkansas. Yeah. What's going on? Okay. Fly to Kansas city. I do. I do. It's, it is insane. And then you, you taking a town car the whole way or what? No, usually my dad will come get us or I'll rent it. I've, I've rented a rental car a handful of times, but that's right. The, the saga. That's right. That shit's important. Yeah. Uh,

This time we're actually going to fly into Springfield, Missouri, which is only an hour and a half away instead of the three hours. Right. I remember almost doing that. Yeah. There's a Springfield in Illinois too, right? What's up with that? That's right. That's right, Kyle. Yeah, I think there's a Springfield everywhere. That's why the Simpsons are in Springfield because there's one in every state. That's weird though. We went to California? Ders, do you remember on that drive you fucking almost killed us?

Do you remember when you passed that car? Remember when we were driving in from Kansas City, Missouri, and you were like, I'm going to pass this car, and it got a little bit too tight there at the end, but you pulled it out like a fucking Fast and Furious Vin Diesel move, bro? Freaking see ya. I think I was fine with it, but yeah, maybe you were...

Being a bitch? Well, being a passenger in that moment is always fucking scary, dude. But that was really, really freaky. It was close. My life is in your hands, dude. I get it. But like, well, I will admit that it didn't have the like torque that I was hoping because I was driving a Tahoe, which I think is a V8. And I was like, all right, but I'm used to driving something that's turbocharged.

I'm not talking about my dick to the popcorn. It is when you're not used to driving a fast car and then you go to drive a car that doesn't have the juice to get you there. It is terrifying. A little get up and go. That was the situation. We both thought it was easy. We were trying to get there, man. Yeah, I know. I was like, go, go for it. And then it just became scary at the end because it didn't have enough little torque. I remember this was for my bachelor party that all the guys came out.

And it was super fun. But I remember the day that you guys got in, like it's supposed to take three hours and it took the group like five and a half hour because you kept stopping places. And I was like calling being like, hey, you guys almost here. And they're like, few more hours. We stopped in a barbecued.

And I'm like, oh. No, it wasn't even cool like that. It was like Taco John's. It was like fast food. Yeah, it was like... Yeah, and then you stopped at like gas station. Like, we had to stop at a come and go. Yeah. Like, oh, all right, okay. Got the shirt. We got the shirt. All right, yeah. Wasn't there a place called like Big Dicks or something? We all took like...

a picture with our pants off in front of it. We'll post it. Yeah, Big Dick's halfway in, which was a, which is a bar. Yeah. It's like you're halfway across the lake or something like that. We got to get a picture, dude. We got to feed the thread. Yeah. And Kyle, that was, it was me, you, Lovano's and anybody. And it was just the three of us.

It was just three of us. And we hadn't seen each other in forever. No, we were, we were broing down. We were hanging out. It was like COVID. It was a pandemic stop. It was like today we die together. Oh yeah, no, it was super COVID times. That was the coolest part about the trip is we're like. And then we go there and for sure we were like, everyone was like, oh, we're for sure getting COVID because we,

We're at all these party pools and just talking to people face-to-face. Oh, yeah. I thought it was guaranteed. And then I guess we proved right then that COVID was a lie. That was when the proof occurred. Because none of us got COVID. So I think we had just figured it out. And this is my TED Talk. I mean, Fauci proved it himself. That's going to be your drop at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, I guess we figured it out that it wasn't real BAM. Yeah.

I remember I had to go to a family thing right after. So I was just everywhere we were in public. I'm like, just back away. And people would come and be like, yo, what's up? And I'd be like, fist bump, fist bump, fist bump. Yeah, but luckily none of us got COVID. Honestly, I was so hungover.

I had a three-day hangover, which has never happened before or since. And on that third day, I was like, I have COVID. There's no way that this is still a hangover. Right, right, right. And I took tests and... This is the way. Actually, I didn't have COVID. That was just a three-day hangover. Mm.

I'm still going to send it. I mean, that was a big party. It was a blast. That was a big party. It was great. A lot of consumption. Adam, don't worry. You'll get it this time. Jet skis work. Yeah, jet skis rock. I hope so. And then when we got out, when we talked about Missouri and we talked, or the Ozarks, everyone was like, how about all those snakes in the lake? And I was like, oh,

Don't know what you're talking about. If I had known there's snakes in that lake, I'd be like, I'm chilling. Well, you know there's snakes in any lake, and I've never seen a snake in the lake, and I've been there dozens of times, and my dad is like, no, there's not a ton of snakes. So I don't know what people were talking about. Maybe in certain areas. Multiple people talked about the snakes. Maybe it's around one bend. I mean, the Ozarks are humongous. Let's keep it real. Those snakes are scared of us, right? You jump in the water, they're fucking running, right? Yeah. I mean, they're like, they're... You think snakes can run? They're

fucking gliding bro they're fucking gliding bro i'm a dumbass there's snakes in any fresh water body of body of water so anytime that you're in a river or a lake there are snakes and stuff you think they're snakes yeah without not when not when i'm there dude stop it oh really it's crazy that we're talking about snakes scared of more of dirt i don't want to hear that it's

It's crazy we're talking about snakes when it was just shark week, though. And I feel like our very first episode we ever did of this podcast was hot off of the shark week. Did you guys tune in or what?

Did you watch Shark Week? No. Didn't really know it was Shark Week. I did not. What the hell? I thought we were Shark Boys. I did not. Only because it shouldn't have been Jason Momoa. It should have been us. So I was disappointed at the... Should have brought us back. Momoa feels right. My corporate overlord, David Zaslav, and Discovery. No, dude. It was kind of sick, though. Did you see they did that whale carcass decoy? Yeah, that was tight. Austin was like...

Dustin. Dustin. Dustin. Yes. He was like in the belly of the whale while the sharks were like eating it and shit. Yeah. It was pretty cool. That was very tight. What the fuck are you talking about? They built this like fake dead whale. Fake dead whale because I guess like if a whale just, you know, dies in the ocean, it feeds like a lot of animals. They just come and eat it. And like they get all hot and like

They like explode and shit and like blood and guts go everywhere. It's fucking wild. So they tried to like recreate it. Gobble, gobble. Yeah. Cool. But who knows? Who knows? After we did the Shark Week...

we kind of found out that they like sometimes they CGI sharks and shit it's a little yeah what are you saying there's CGI any sharks CGI sharks no they didn't yes they did dude yes in hours yes they did because we when we went to that big hole remember when we went like super far deep down we went like 100 feet down they had us go like well I did you didn't

I didn't. I definitely didn't go at all. Adam, we went, Adam. You didn't go 100 feet down. Yes, we did. No, they said we were supposed to go 40 feet down and I kept going and then I looked back and everyone was mad at me that I went down too far. No, we were all down in that hole. What the

I know we were down in the hole, but you did not go 100 feet. I'm pissed now. 100 feet shorter than you think. First of all, whatever we went down to, we were all down there in that hole. What did you see? You were not further down than I was. I was. I was because I turned around and looked back and everyone was mad at me that I went too far because I saw that big turtle.

Yeah, we saw a turtle. We saw a turtle down there. Okay, okay. You guys got to see the turtle. That's sick. Then they had us go, hey, so do a thing where you say, whoa, look over there. There's a tiger shark. And we did that. We said that. And then later they CGI'd tiger sharks down in that hole. We did not see tiger sharks down there. Damn. Well, I don't know if they CGI'd them. I think they did. I watched it with my kids and they were like, whoa, that shark's close. And I was like...

There wasn't a shark there. Dude, they AI'd the shark in there, bro? There were sharks down in that hole off in the distance. I don't know if they were tiger or not. They were not tiger sharks. They CGI'd it. You can go back and watch it. There's no... I don't know. I think CGI is the wrong terminology. I think they just used footage of tiger sharks, other footage that they might have had to make it seem like... And cut away, like a cutaway. Little cutaways. I don't know. Sure. But I think they, yeah, they might have overlapped because I think they...

kept us in the frame. They put us in the frame with it. And I was like, that wasn't real. Yeah, it could be some kind of a comp. I don't know, Durs. You didn't even go that deep. Adam might have saw some shit, bro. Fuck off, dude. Yeah, you went out on your feet. I mean, yeah, what happened after you saw the turtle? That's what I want to know. Yeah, man. We got to the turtle together and then Adam went deeper. Adam

And then fucking dirt's bailed. Yeah, he did go on his own adventure. I don't know. Did you swim around that turtle? I went all the way. I was like, touch that turtle. You fucked it. Yeah, I rode the turtle for like a half hour. I don't know what you were doing. No, you didn't. Whoa. And then like in the cave. Dude, what is real? I just remember people being upset at me when we came back because we were not supposed to go. We are not certified to go 100 feet. This is true. That's right. We kept going. Probably because like your ears and the pressure and shit, huh? Yeah.

The bends. I did not remember you there, but if you say that you were there, I believe you. He was holding your hand. Because remember, we went down into the hole, and then in the hole, there was like a tunnel we went into. Yeah, and then way further down was where that turtle was. Right, and I rode it for like, it had to be two days. Yeah.

Oh, all right. I believe you. Naked grandma! That's CGI. Any take backs, apologies, any epic slams? Dude, I cannot believe they're fucking CGI-ing sharks in Shark Week, man. I cannot believe that. They totally did. They didn't. I'm sure they used... Special effects, whatever you want to call it. There was tons of sharks. Don't act like there wasn't a ton of sharks. No, I know. That's the thing. They AI'd some sharks in there, bro. They AI'd tiger sharks. Dude, that's why we're on strike. Fuck.

The tiger sharks are fucking striking, dude. They're like, you'd use my likeness? Bitch! The reef sharks were all real. They were everywhere in a way that was very uncomfortable. We saw tiger sharks. I know we saw them. We tagged one. That shit was real. We only saw... We were in the water with one twice, right? Dude, that shit was scary.

I never want to be in the water with one again. I don't know. I remember seeing a handful of tiger sharks. Wait, where the fuck was Blake? Blake, where were you during all this? Weren't you there? Aren't you the... You can settle this dispute. No, Blake was too scared to dive. That's not true. I had a broken hand. Oh, that's right. You had a broken hand. Oh, he's on the injured list. Adam, we didn't see a handful of tiger sharks. We saw the one where we were like, we were on the boat and they were like, okay, now get in with the tiger shark while we release it.

right yes that was scary as fuck yeah did not like that that was like the most legit then were there was when there was like hey there's one by the boat get in there and go down there and they're like okay don't if you see the tiger shark don't turn your back then we went to the surface and i kicked the shit out of that baby one

You did. You kicked the baby one in the head. Yeah, and the baby shark like attacked Durs. That was nuts. And then they go, get out of the boat or get on the boat. Get on the boat. Get on the boat. And we all lose our minds. Get up there. They're like, because lunch is ready. And we're like, come on, come on.

I remember being like legit. Like, do not do that. Do not do that. We got Jersey Mike's. It's a meal penalty. If you don't eat right now, we can't afford it. We've got a CGI sharks in later. Fuck it. Fuck it. Had me shook. Yeah. So we didn't see as many. We didn't see a handful of tiger sharks, but we did. Oh yeah. We saw enough to scare the shit out of me. And,

And we saw bull sharks and reef sharks and that kind of thing. Yes. It was diarrhea. I think we were in the company of tiger sharks twice, though. It was terrible. It was so scary. I didn't like it one bit.

Wow. I'm not a fan of sharks. You really didn't? I really enjoy doing Shark Week. I'd like to go back and do it again. I think it's so fun. I find sharks to be... I would do it again just because I love you guys. I want to swim with a whale shark. Those things are... Just because they're so big and they're not going to eat me with those powers combined, sign me up.

And they got a big ass mouth, dude. It's cool. Dope. Yeah, I really want to see a hammerhead. I just think they're so cool looking and I've never seen one. They're so aggressive. I don't think you're supposed to be around them. I think they will bite the shit out of you. That is not true. They're fucking hammers, dude. They're going to fucking knock your ass. That is not true. Not at them. Not at them. They don't bite at them. Well, no, they just, I mean, sharks in general don't really want to bite humans. That juicy booty? Yeah.

You've seen my ass, and obviously it's a great snack. You'd think if they did want to bite humans, my ass is the perfect snack. Yummy! Right, it is a snack. It's their bunch of crunch. It's a little Butterfinger bite. Yeah, it's a Butterfinger bite. Then they go around the corner and get a little Junior Mint. I don't think they fuck with alive humans all that much. I think they have to think that you're an injured bitch. A snatch?

And I was, and I had a cast. That's why I didn't dive. I feel like a hammerhead is going to have trouble biting with that little hammer above on its nose. That's not how it works. Oh, okay. All right. I think they're doing fine. Any takebacks, apologies, any epic slams? Hey, yeah, I'm sorry about making that assumption about hammerheads. Just straight up, that was my bad. They still got big-ass mouths. They're scary. They don't look that scary. I would like to do a takeback for Anders. He said that hook doesn't hold up, and he's right.

about that. That movie is sick. Don't do a take back. If you haven't seen Hook, tune in. I could do a take back for others too. Go for it. Do it. Knock yourself out. I guess you don't have your own material. You got to use mine. Yeah, no, I'm just, I'm sorry I never...

bought candy at a movie theater. I don't have that experience. I denied myself that experience. Sorry I ever met you. I would like to have an apology. I don't remember Durr's diving that deep with me, but if he says he did, I believe him. I think we were probably both there. I just remember looking up and seeing the people

like 30, 40 feet above us being like, what the fuck are you doing? Yes. Yes. Because we were not supposed to go that far deep. But I think what's his name was right there. We just saw that turtle and just like kept diving because it is scary because you're just, it's just pure blackness that you're going into. There's no bottom. My favorite. You can't see anything. And then you turn around and you're able to see people floating way above you. And it was, it was,

pretty cool i haven't been diving in a while i'd like to get i think that one dude was down there with us he was like uh you guys we have to go uh because then you gotta like fucking really go those levels up and it just takes it just takes a while you have to stop the bends wait i just want to touch on this before we go because i think it was the last episode where i said i was going to an undisclosed location i went to norway oh we're gonna cover it oh yeah let's talk about that next week you

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