Ep 173: Live From San Diego: WaterBedTime Stories
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You know when you're bare knuckle boxing your father, but you're eight and he's 50? Fucking finger banging make out with the other dead people, you know what I mean? Hey, I guess aging isn't that bad because these are some banging grandmas, dude. I went to this steakhouse and I just started blowing loads, dude. Strap in. Lego. Sandy. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego. Lego.

Oh my god! San Diego. San Diego. Oh, it's so horny. Oh my god. San Diego, where the fuck you at? We love it. Oh, bro, they're right here. Oh, shit! Can you really not see them? Oh my god. That was like a little scary on this end. Blake, what did you just say to them that got them so riled up? I said, San Diego, where the fuck you at? Oh.

It's a little bit of a call and response. He's like, where are you? And they're like, right here. Yeah, I'm like, literally, where are you? They think Blake's lost. Blake's blind. He went blind. Too many buzz balls. Too many buzz balls, which, guys, normally, I come out here with a bunch of buzz balls. We were told we can't throw buzz balls. It's a bummer.

I think it's safe to say none of us are going to drive a Honda Civic Theater ever again. Yep. But that being said, if they want to invite us back, we would love to come back. It's a beautiful theater. We like doing business. We like doing business, having fun. We don't need to throw them. It's fine. We don't need to throw them. I just feel like it kind of goes against San Diego branding because this is the gnarliest city in the fucking world, dude. But, Blake, you... Blake...

Like you just said that about Oakland last night. No, no, no. He didn't call Oakland Gnar. Gnar is a specific adjective. I would say it's between here and Phoenix. You think... Okay. Hey, you know what? Yo. Yo. Hey.

I don't give a fuck. Phoenix can't be NAR. You have to be by the ocean in order to be NAR. Phoenix is definitely not NAR. You have to be by the ocean to be NAR. By my definition. I agree. Phoenix is loco. Phoenix is loco. San Diego's friggin' NAR. Alright, what do you got, Adam? Anyone that wears a flat brim baseball cap? Yeah.

And also skateboards. Okay. You can be Gnar. I think Gnar is reserved for the ocean. No, I think Stoked is reserved for the ocean. Okay. The Stoke is real. I've been using Stoke wrong for quite a while. Stoke? How do you use Stoke? I use Stoke almost exclusively not about the ocean. How do you use Stoke in a sentence for us, please? Yeah, like, let's Stoke this fire. Oh, yeah, well, that works.

Is it real? I'm stoked about the vascularity of the head of my dick. The head of your dick? Your head of your dick has veins. It has veins? Everyone has their veins, right? No? What? Isn't that like the... Dude, I know you're just saying that because I've seen the head of your dick.

It ain't vascular. I'll say that. I'll say that much. It's oddly colored. Yes. It's purple. It's a dark maroon. Sorry, my bad. You look at that and you go, that'd be a nice color for a car. It's like Kyle's pants. The head of my dick looks like it's been coughing for two minutes. You're like, that dick...

If your dick walks on an airplane, you're like, we're all getting COVID again. Fuck. This sucks. Donatello, man. You got a Donatello dick. It does machines. Leonardo brain, Donatello dick. Blake, what about the head of your penis? The head of my penis? Does it look like it's been coughing? Mine looks like it needs air.

Oh, it's actually colorless. It's blue. It looks like a baby that's choking. Yeah, I whip my dick out and people think it's a gender reveal party because it's baby blue. They're like, it's a boy, I think. I don't know. Where are you whipping your dick out in front of people? Yeah, like at live shows. I do it all the time. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

The time is now. Give it to them. I like that. And if you're listening at home right now, he just whipped it out. A lot of people got hurt. He put it back in. I like that the venue's like, you can't throw buzz balls, but you can whip your dick out. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they definitely didn't say that. No, we didn't. I imagine it's like, remember in the movie The Doors when they would go to, or like in NWA, the...

Wait, hold on. Hold on a second. Rock biopics, correct. Go ahead. So the doors, Jim Morrison did whip his dick out, for sure. And then the cops arrested him. Right. I think that should happen tonight. If there's a police officer here, once Blake whips his dick out, you have to arrest him. That would be the best thing to happen to the podcast. Yes. Yes.

I don't know if that would be the best thing. I think like... Come on, baby, let me... Well, we were just saying that it sucks that none of us have like dope, like the coolest headshots of all are mug shots. That's true. And we don't have any. So we need to start collecting. That's not exactly true, by the way. We're not doing gnar enough stuff. Yeah. And this is the Gnar City, so let's fucking get arrested tonight. Yeah. All right.

I just want to make it clear, I'm not welcoming... And that makes me stoked. I'm not welcoming that to me. I don't want to get arrested. Why not? I don't want to get arrested.

want to go to jail? You don't have to go to jail if you get arrested. Really? Yeah, you could just go like this and get the fucking... Oh, I'm down to run with you, bro. That'd be sick. I did have a friend who got arrested. Amos and Anders. Had like got cuffed behind and then like fucking got his legs in front and then was just running around being like, you didn't do it right. What? And my other friends were like, you're making this so much worse. Like they were ready to let him go and then he like snuck his legs through and was like...

Nanny nanny boo booing the police officers. He said, you didn't do it right. Yeah. He's drunk. You're bad at handcuffing. And they're like, we're great at police brutality. Yeah. The nightstick slides right in there. And one for you, Kyle. Yes, points. There we go. Thank you.

Thank you. Was that for Amos and Anders? Yeah, which is a cool reference. That's a movie probably not a lot of people have seen. What is it, Nick Cage? Is Nick Cage in that flick? Who's in Amos and Andrew? Dude, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Are you on Amos and Andy? I think it's called Amos and Andrew, but who cares? I'll just take the points and shut the fuck up. Yeah, I'm going to take the points and shut the fuck up. By the way, that sucks, dude. You shouldn't get points for fucking up a movie that no one saw. I thought it was a cookie.

I thought it was like Famous Amos, and then you just added an Anders. By the way, I hate to say this. I'm pretty sure Amos Andy was like a radio show where two white dudes pretended to be two black friends. What? And now you're co-signing that with the yes points? No.

I was talking about the movie about two people that were handcuffed, and I don't know if one of them is... Handcuffed? Together. They were stuck together like this. Hey, don't bring me into this shit. You're on your own here, pal. You're digging your own hole here, homie. Now I'm suddenly not stoked. Lord, help me God. That was very not Nara view. Sorry. What is the name Amos, though? What the fuck is it? I think it's fucking cool. Good A. All right, there goes our fan.

The guy in the 12th row just screamed it rhymes with anus. Give him points. Yes, sir. It sure does. Honey, we can leave now. I feel like this is a good place to get arrested. I feel like there's a lot of cops around, I feel. Or a lot of guys that you're like, is that guy a fucking cop? Right.

But he's like, no, I'm just in the military. Exactly. What's up with the military here? Are we here tonight? Military, we're here? Where's our...

They're like, no, we're not allowed to smoke weed. So we're not into you guys. Yo, military, if you're drunk tonight, thank you for your swerveness. Hey! I like that point. Yes, points! That was very tight. Dude, now let me know if this is something that I should be proud of, because in the moment, I was really proud of this. Last time I was at San Diego, I was at a Starbucks, and it was like a Starbucks where you're outside, and I'm kind of zoning out. I was hungover, and...

and I'm waiting for my Starbucks. Like a walk-up window? Yeah. Okay. And it used to be right in front of the U.S. Grant Hotel, and now it's under construction. I've already checked it out. And there's like a guy there, and he just was wearing really super baggy basketball shorts. And I was thinking, I was like, man, you don't...

see guys sagging that low in basketball shorts that often anymore. That was an era. And I'm like, look at him go. He's rocking some 1992 basketball shorts. As if he's like Bugs Bunny and Taz on that t-shirt where they're just all oversized. Everything was real droopy. Even Babs Bunny had his slung low with their booty shakes out. Babs. And so that's what I was thinking. And this guy looks at me and he goes, what the

fuck are you looking at, bro? And I go, oh, nothing, sorry. And he goes, are you a fucking cop? Really? Yeah, to me. And I go, you think I could be a cop? Right, yeah. Yeah. That's a badge of honor in the Midwest. Yeah.

Is that something to be proud of? Because I told Anna, our producer, she's like, no, that means you're a bitch, dude. You're like a snitch. That guy looked at you and you're like, I don't fucking trust this fucking punk. But to me, I'm like, no, that means I'm looking pretty swole in my shirt. Or I'm wearing a shirt that's a little too tight. You know how fat dudes do that? We have to. They're like, no, I'm in shape.

Why is my shirt so tight? I think it's more a comment on your haircut. You kind of have like a... High and tight. You kind of rock like a... You do have a cop haircut. He has a John Cena haircut. No, dude. No. John Cena has my fucking haircut, dude. Fuck John Cena. Okay, that's fine. Yes, fine. You don't see me. Oh, all right.

I'll stand on that. Fuck John Cena, dude. What the hell? You're saying that you had your... Yeah, dude, I fucking hate John Cena. Whoa! Well, okay, can we get a spotlight? Can we get a spotlight on Adam to explain why he hates John Cena? Oh, boy. This is... Yeah, give us the... You can take the... Well, I mean, it goes back, and it's maybe because I love John Cena, but...

You know how you hate something that you can't have? Sure. I do know what that's like. Where is this going, man? I hate Ferraris, right? They fucking suck, dude. So I was doing, it was a movie. You played the Hollywood song. It was a fucking movie. I recorded this. It was a Ferdinand the Bull, this animated movie.

And I was going to be Ferdinand, dude. The fucking bull that doesn't want to do dastardly bullshit. He wants to sit on the hillside and just sniff flowers like a good bull should. Right? Ferdinand, motherfucker. Y'all read the books? Did you? Well, the one book. It's one book. It's one book. One book and like 11 pages. Oh, it's not a long book. Yeah, it's not a long book. No. But I like fucked with Ferdinand, so I'm like, I got the role. I recorded this for a year and a half.

Constantly. I was Ferdinand the Bull. I kept recording it. And they're like, oh, it's so good. Great job. And then a week later, they're like, yeah, we're going to need you to come back in. And then all of a sudden they go, we don't need you to come back in. And I go, why? And they go, because John Cena is now playing Ferdinand the Bull. Fuck that dude. So fuck John Cena. That thing sucks. Bro, that is so fucking whack.

And that has nothing to do with John Cena? No. Because I've never even met the guy. I'm sure he's perfectly fine. I doubt it. There's no way. But he has my haircut, dude. Yeah. Get him. Fucking get him, bro. Get him, dude. Yeah, so fuck John Cena. Get him, bro. You know what I heard about John Cena, though, is that he calls around town. Hit the music, please. Sure. I'm going.

Hollywood! He calls around Tinseltown, that's what I call it. Yeah, you do. And he goes, now shut up. Now shut the fuck up. And he asks, shut the fuck up. And he goes, hey, I heard about that movie. Who's playing that guy? And he goes, okay, good to know. And when he called up about Ferdinand, they said, oh, it's Adam Devine. We're very happy about it. And he goes, yeah, but what if it was me? Oh, shit. Call me back in 24 hours.

This is John Cena. And then he goes, Cena out. Yeah. Wait. He goes, you can't hear me. Yeah. I'm waving my hand at the phone right now. They go, pretty cool. So he took your haircut and then he took Ryan Seacrest out from Seacrest? Yes. Dude, the guy's a fucking thief. Cena out. Ryan Seacrest? Yeah, you said Seacrest. What are you saying? Ryan, isn't his last name Seacrest? What?

Ryan Secrets. Ryan Secrets. Dude, I'd have a lot of questions for Ryan. Hi, it's me, Ryan Secrets.

That's a great fucking name, dude. I feel like I would fuck with that dude. Ryan Secrets? Well, you want to go out on a night on Tinseltown with Ryan Secrets? Ryan Secrets? Dude, top, top, like, when American Idol was at the top. Dude, you loved American Idol. You wouldn't shut the fuck up about American Idol. It's a well-made television show. Yeah.

America does have talent. He would always come over and be like, did you guys see David Archuleta? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And we're like, no, we didn't. He's like, Clay Aiken's actually really talented. I came in after Clay because I truthfully didn't watch first season. I'm like, why would I enjoy this? Then I caught maybe a, what, season three? Is that the Studded? Is that Ruben's Studded season? Oh, Ruben's Studded Rock. That might be. That's Clay Aiken. That's season two.

Because it was like Justin Guarini. Yeah, Justin Guarini. It was Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson. That was a bad era for me when Justin Guarini was in the news. Yeah, for sure. Because I also was just beginning the long hair transition. Blake went through like a really awkward 22-year period. Right.

Yeah. The Guarini phase. Yeah. And my hair was, my afro was starting to fall and sort of part. Blake looked like, truly, when I first met Blake, he looked like a worse looking version of Ice Spice. Right. Right. Burn! He looked like ice melting. Yes, boys! But like, in those years, in the 2000s,

I feel like the TMZ era of whatever that was, was just Ryan Seacrest at the club getting wild. Okay. And just watching him toe the line of interviewing true psychos and being like, wow, you were just unbelievable in there. I've never seen anything like that. Looking at the camera going like, you know what the fuck I mean. But them going like, Ryan Seacrest thinks he's never seen anything like me before. Yeah.

Thank you. I poured my whole heart out. Who was he talking to? He was talking to contestants, right? He would look at the camera to you at home. Oh, okay. And be like, this guy was insane, right? It was William Hung, right? Right. Yes. Oh, she banged. She banged. She banged. I was like...

I have to move to Hollywood. Right. I was like, I got a shot. Yeah, man. I don't know. I just feel like Secrets gets it. I feel like if your name is Ryan Secrets, you always have something in your ass. That's your secret? Yeah, you're like, fuck, I don't... I want to smoke this joint with you, but I don't have a lighter. And he's like...

You want to know a secret? Fuck it! It's a Zippo. He just has to do this.

Right. Comes out the pant leg. He's opening the flame from his butthole. Yeah, through his butthole. Yeah, you took it out of the pant leg, but I'm right there with you in the butthole. In the butthole. Yeah, and so you got to get close. That's why we're better friends. Wait, the flame is coming out of his butthole? Yes. Yes, Kyle. He does this. Whoa. Fucking follow along, you bitch. Bro, I didn't know we were there, man. My bad. Dude, he keeps things in his asshole. Fucking thing sucks. That's what I'm talking about.

That's one of his many secrets. I heard that part. So why would it go down his pant? He's not shitting it out. How do you even know he's wearing pants, Kyle? I thought that the lighter was falling out of his butthole. But he obviously has a butthole. This is crazy. I'm so sorry. What he would do is he would slightly gape. As one does. Slightly gape.

shift appropriately, flip open the little latch, hit the flint with the rim. That's what I want to know. He's flipping the flint with the rim? That's one of his many secrets. Loose butthole. I mean, you took it to another level. I thought the secret was I carry lighters in my butthole. This is like a cartoon thing now. I thought we were fucking grounding this in reality. Oh, you were? Yeah.

I guess we're not. I'll take it back to reality. Have you seen any of our comedy? We're not grounding it in reality. I must have missed it. I also like to think that this is the discussion that breaks up our friendship forever. What fucking universe are we in?

You know what, Cal? Fuck you, dude. What can you do? You're off the project. He's off the project. Wait, but real quick, just to like back to opening your butthole. Do you guys remember when you were a kid? Back to fun stuff. And like I had an ottoman growing up, no big deal. Oh, money bag. And you'd watch TV like this. And then your butthole would just go. Freaking see ya. And you'd be like, well, I'm watching Eureka's Castle, but suddenly something very entertaining is happening back here. And then you're like.

Fart? And then you go... Yeah. And you fart again. It's not even a fart. It's just kind of like a full frontal... It's male queefing is what it is. Yeah. Well, it's anybody queefing. Oh, yeah, because... Did you know girls have buttholes? No! Wait, what? Sorry.

Normally I follow you on this journey, but... It's not based in reality. I don't remember my butthole. Did you grow up with an ottoman? Yeah, we had an ottoman. Oh, well then I don't understand. I knew one guy. I knew one guy who could actually fart on command and could fucking suck in air into his butthole and then let it out. This guy was your mother? This guy was my mom.

I'm just going based on the crowd here tonight. I heard some uncomfortable giggles because you guys know what I'm talking about. But can you still do it? Can you still summon air into your asshole and then fart it out? If you hold a sheet of paper ten feet away, I can suck it right in there. See, now this is the kind of stuff I want to learn about my buds. If you hold up the entire Daily Times... Dude, this is Ander's secrets right here. My boy. Now that is some Sanjaya shit.

I love that he's been sitting over there with that in the chamber like, say it now. Do the Sanjaya joke now. He's like, I'm waiting for my moment. Drop Sanjaya on them. Also, I feel like 60% of the crowd is like, who the fuck is a dark

But he's telling himself they're going to know. I'm one of them. Who's Sanjaya? Sanjaya. I'm guessing it's an American Idol contestant. Yeah, you got it. And is Sanjaya a man or a woman? Sanjaya was a young boy who is almost... I don't use spirit animal as a thing because it sounds stupid and it's offensive apparently. It is. But spirit animal, Sanjaya, you, same guy. Dude, I have big Sanjaya energy. Yes. Yes.

So Sanjaya was a young boy. We're like, everything's funny. You laugh at everything because you're just like, I hope they don't find out I'm gay. Because he came out later. Wait, is that why Blake giggles so much? What's going on over there? Yes, points. Holy shit. Wait, that's not...

Is that points? Okay. Yes, points! You said, okay. I guess I'm just... Okay. But why do you laugh? It's not funny. What we're saying is not funny. It's not funny, dude. I'm just drunk. Okay, fair enough.

Right.

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Dude, last time we had shows in Oakland, and I know we're going to get to that level tonight, dude. Yeah. San Diego. A guy got kicked out. He punched someone on the way out. A guy puked. Someone pissed themselves. It was a wild show. We don't need to punch anybody tonight. Let's not do that. Hey. Yeah.

I don't know if you're rock and roll. Go fuck yourself, San Diego. So the San Diego post-anchorman whale's vagina. A whale's vagina. Nice. That is science. Are we cool with that or not? It's science. You have to be cool with that. So if you speak Spanish, are you like, these fucking white people, what is happening?

Now it's cool because that movie is super old now, but now young Gen Z kids are like, oh my God, that's a classic. And you're like, I am so old. They're like Breakfast at Tiffany's. But I feel like in the moment, it had to have been a nightmare.

The amount of... But it's still a thing people say. Yeah, but now it's like a throwback. It's why people still fuck with us, because they're like, yeah, I remember when these guys had a TV show. Right, right, right. That was cool. I like that. It reminds me of a fun time from the past. Yeah, I used to like my life back when those guys had a TV show. Yeah, it seems like me and them... Now what happened? Right. But what is a whale's vagina called?

A whale's vagina. It's called a whale's vagina. They don't call it a special name. Animals' vaginas are just called that animal's vagina. No. It's a mammal's pussy. I feel like if you're... Thank you, doctor. It's a mammal. Dr. Brozark over here. I feel like if your dick is like sick enough as an animal, they call it something different. Like isn't like a... If your dick is sick enough? Go ahead.

Let him examine. Hey, continue, Blake. With your bulbous blue cock. Yeah. Isn't like a whale's dick called like a dong? Oh, you mean like a dork. A dork. A dork. My grandma Arvella taught me that. She did? Arvella was a down-ass chick. Yeah. She's like, I used to gobble an entire dork. Knocking grandma. No, I was like, call my sister a dork. And she's like, I wouldn't call her that if I were you.

And then she goes, that means a whale's dick. And you're like, yeah, then she's a dork. I'm going to call that all the time. She's a fucking whale's dick. Is that one of the only animals that has its own name for a dick? A dork? Yeah, nothing else. Like a tiger's dick is not called a... But it's all like little kid slams. It's like nitwit is like a squirrel cock. Nitwit's good, yeah. Dumbo is a elephant's cock. Yeah.

He inserts the Nickwares. Disney got in a lot of trouble for that, actually. I feel like Dork... The Little Mermaid. There was like an ocean expedition and the fucking sailor guy in charge of everybody was drunk and they were like, whoa, so is that the whale's penis? He's like, yeah, that's his big old fucking dork. And they're like, Dork? And he goes, yeah, Dork.

Sure. And then the textbooks were written. And all the scientists were like, that's good. We're using that. That's why we all got to homeschool, you guys. We all got to homeschool. We all have to homeschool. What if you found out that... I want to meet the children that were taught by you. Dude.

I mean, sure, if you're a smart person, homeschool your kid. My dumb ass, my kids wouldn't know shit, dude. Yeah. I'm a dumb ass. My kids would know how to re-roof the house. I'd be like, and count those tiles while you're at it, bitch. Okay, you're going to need 40 tiles this way and 75 tiles that way. Count them up while you buckle them in, you bitch. Well, why didn't you cry about it? Are you calling your children bitch? Yeah.

He's a good father. At school, nonetheless. But you do that so they develop tough skin so when they go out in the world, they're like, you think bitch hurts my feelings? Yeah. I barely, I'm planning the murder of my father. I like that there's... I also like that there were people like super cheering for you doing that. Like, yep, my parents called me bitch. Look at me. I know. There's some tough love lovers in the audience. I liked a little tough love. No, I like that. I mean... Sometimes you gotta hold them underwater. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. My family wouldn't. I was never grounded when I was a kid. My dad and my uncles would make fun of me so much that I would never do whatever I just did ever again. Oh, really? That shit's important.

So they taught you through humiliation? Yeah, humiliation technique, and that's how I'm going to parent. That makes sense, yeah. You stupid fucking idiot. Fuck it! I'm going to be a great father. A few months, a few months from now. Yeah! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Yeah, I grew up in a ground and pound house. Ground and pound? Yeah, you're grounded. Your dad was the first UFC fighter? Yeah, he was. He was Ken Shamrock. Essentially. What do you mean by that? My bare bottom ass was the octagon.

What the fuck, dude? Yeah. You good? Yeah, you good? Wait, are we out there live yet? Yeah. There's like 2,500 people here. Are you good? San Diego knows what I'm talking about. You know when you're bare knuckle boxing your father, but you're eight and he's 50? You know. Too real. You know when he opens a big garage door and says, you can go if you can get past me. Right? Yeah.

Good luck. Why, because you were running away? Did you guys run away a lot as children? I tried to go away. Yeah, I tried to go away in my car once. Did you say go away? Yeah, I tried to drive away. But he just said run away, and then you changed it to go away. Well, I guess he was driving, so you're not going to run away in a car. You're going to drive away. No, I was so fucking pissed. I'm like, I'm leaving. That's a drive away. I'm leaving. I'm never coming back. I had my fucking car. Were you like 28? What the fuck? No, I was like 17. Yeah.

Okay. That's not what we're talking about. There's no more running away when you're 17. That's just leaving the house. Yeah. True. I was trying to move out. Kyle, you tell me when you went to college? You can literally go to the courthouse and be like, I want to be emancipated. And a judge will be like, I don't give a fuck. To be real, Adam, I did run away. I went to college. Yeah.

That's what we mean, right? Yeah, I'm going to go to Thanksgiving and then I'm going to run away from my family after that. And go back home? Yeah, after five days I'm running away. No, but my dad fucking, I was all stoked to run away and I go into the car and I start to fucking... Stoked. The car wouldn't start. Stoked is actually Walrus' dick, by the way. The dude fucking pulled the spark plugs out of my car so that I couldn't leave. Oh.

Wow. Yeah. Like he, he had gone out there. He knew I was going to leave and he went out, popped the hood, pulled the spark plugs out. And then I couldn't start my car. It was fucking genius. That's it. It's not genius. That's, that's weird. That's like the beginning of, uh, cool. Visible man movie.

Just let your kid run away. I guess, yeah. I mean, he's 17 years old. I'd be like, okay, you bitch. Yeah. I don't give a shit. You've been living here for free. That's true. For 17 years. Give me a break. Get out of here. He disassembled your automobile? Yes, he did. Yep. Took out the sparks. Please tell me he did some cool-ass shit, like you got in the car and he's like, you're not going to get very far without...

That's it, dude. That's it. And I'm like, what is that? Yeah, you're like, I have no idea what you just dropped on the ground. What is that? I have no clue what it is. But watch how fast I can run. And then you run with your arms behind your back away. Right. Shinobi. My kids do that. What's the new thing? Because Shinobi was the first time I ever saw that shit. But now, Blake, you know. I believe it's Naruto. Right.

Right. And is that the same place where women cross their eyes? Oh, no, that's just Pornhub. Okay, thank you. I just wanted to clear that up. Yeah, when did that become such a thing? When did brain-dead ladies become a sexual thing? It's always been a thing. Oh. Bro? When Blake's getting dumb, he goes like this. And then you do the... And then you...

You are so nasty. Just cross. Bro, that's some straight Senjaya shit I'd pull. Nah, dog. That's some David Archuleta.

I don't even know who that is. You got it. Living in LA, you do meet ex-American Idol people at parties and stuff. Yeah, hell yeah. They're on that ride, and you're on that same ride. This is when you see super old people that are friends with random, because they became celebrities at the same time. Kid from Kid and Play and Bill Maher are best friends. Right.

69, dudes! How did this happen? And then you realize they must have had the same Coke dealer in the 80s or something. Yeah, for sure. And they for sure were in those good orgies from the 90s. That good, good Big Bush! Yeah. Different decade. Yeah, orgies in the 90s were fucking sick! Well, have you been to orgies now? I'm sure they're good. Yeah, they kind of are lacking.

What's going on with him? Wait, you've been to orgies? Okay. Talk about this. Speak on it. Speak on this. Can we get a spotlight on Blake? On Blake. Speak on these orgies that you've got to. Spotlight here. Well, um... Oh, I thought you said Welsh corgis. No, no, spotlight on Blake, the one with the hair. The one with the hair. Let's just say, um... Looking out the window...

What happens in Comic-Con stays in Comic-Con. All right. Hey! That's a cop-out. No, this dude probably was in a cosplay orgy, dude. This dude fucked the Avengers and shit. We don't know what Blake does after 2 a.m. in Comic-Con. Bro. This dude fucked all the Expendables. Bro, I had all the Infinity Stones up my ass, bro. Secrets out. Dude.

The Infinity Gauntlet was like... Hagrid from Harry Potter fucked Sailor Moon that night. You know those fucking big-ass Hulk hands? Yeah. I had that shit in my bussy. Oh, dude. With a B.

Get the spotlight off me, please. No more spotlight. No more spotlight. No more spotlight. Go fuck yourself, San Diego. Should we talk about Comic-Con? Comic-Con. I'm just thinking about it. Yeah. I wonder if actual San Diego natives like Comic-Con. They're like, oh. Yeah, do you hate it? Or if they're like, Jesus, these freaks. Right. No, they're stoked. They're like...

This is the one time a year. Well, they're here. Right. They're here. You could just ask them. I love it. I guarantee you that people here are like, one time I beat up this steampunk chick. And that's not okay, guys.

So we used to come to Comic-Con a lot for Workaholics. Even before Workaholics, we came and we treated it like the spring breaks we never had. Is that fair to say? Yeah, I never had a spring break. I didn't have a spring break either. Too busy swimming. Yeah, I never had that. And it was just like a four-day blackout. Some of our interviews back then,

Because the show wasn't like... It hadn't even come out the first time we came. And we're giving interviews. I remember the first red carpet. We're just blackout. You see it on our eyes. We're like... Right. Right. Well, we've talked about that. So new. So new to people looking at us. And we had to beg to get on that carpet, too. No, no, no. Remember? The PR girl goes...

and it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Oh, fuck, that's right. Yeah, that's right. And then we go on there, and then the photographers are like, I don't know if this is right. They were, they just, we got lumped in with Sunny, and then we were like, that was so cool, you guys, like, we're watching you guys, we have a show coming out in like a month, it's basically ripping you guys off, and like, it's no big deal, like, we like you guys, you guys are cool. And they were like, okay, just go into the party. Yeah.

And we did. And we did. And we did. We got into the party, man. And what was cool is, like, six years later, I met the Broad City Girls at a party, and they came up to... Yeah.

I love it. Very funny. Yeah! And they came up to me and they were like, hey, so we got a show coming out. It's basically ripping off you guys and we really like you guys and we think it's so cool that we're meeting you guys and I can't wait to get in this party. Right. And I go, get the fuck in this party. You know what's cool? I heard you, you told me that story and then I was like, oh, cool. And then the show came out and there was zero references to us. It was mostly Louis references. So how'd that work out? Oh.

Nice, Dirt. Can we get another round of Ashland, or what is this? Voyage hard iced tea? I'll take an Ashland, Isaac. Give me an Ashland, homie. We call this the pot sauce. San Diego local beverage right here. Wake up!

Is he coming? Is he coming? What's going on? Honestly, like, going to Comic-Con, you're just going from, like, party to party where everyone's pretty much exhausted promoting their, like, big, huge movie that they've been on the road promoting. No, no, but it's not Hollywood. It's San Diego. San Diego.

San Diego. And then there's us, brand new to the scene, not really knowing the power of an open bar. Yeah. And no one was throwing down with us. It's going to run out at some point. Right. We're just holding like six vodka sodas each. Yeah, man. You get drunker faster if you drink vodka. Right. Yeah. You're playing it like one of those big flutes that are like...

I knew it was bad when we were so drunk that Tom Green was like, you guys are fucked up. Oh, yeah. I remember that. I was like, chill, dude. And I was just like... Here we go. Hey, we got the variety pass. Hell, yeah. Yeah. Hell, yeah. Because, like... Hey, Isaac, you want to show your nipples or something? Jesus Christ.

Hey, guys. Secrets out. He showed them last night in Oakland. He did. He did. And by the way, just as translucent as you thought they were. It's like looking into an aquarium. Oh, shit. You know when you're a kid and you put those low in the dark stars on your ceiling? Yeah. Adults do it too. That's what samples look like. Adults do it too. Those stars were the fucking shit. That was like...

Yeah, just like pieces of plastic, though, right? Yeah, they were. They were just little pieces of plastic that you stuck up there. Yeah, but you can't bend over them like an Ottoman and fart, no? No, I always wish I could. That is true. It's a little different than an Ottoman where you can gape your butthole as a seven-year-old. Yeah, I guess it's a little different than that. I just like getting my money's worth, you know what I mean? How about this Voyage Hard Ice Tea? I wonder where I could put this. It's pretty good stuff. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Yeah, no, my whole room was covered in that shit. Your whole? My whole room. Yeah, what was your childhood room decorated in? Oh, this is perfect. I love this. I want to hear it. I love this. I want to hear it. This is a lot of fodder. Me, it was a lot of stuff that I stole. Okay. What do you mean, like, stole what? Just hubcaps and fucking car stereos? It was a lot of, like, uh...

Car stereos. What are we talking about? I stole all the political signs when they would put them up. I just thought it was kind of tight. Like vote for congressman or whatever. My man's been political. Congressman Lexington Steele or whatever their names are. I love to think that the mayor of fucking Omaha was like, I fucking hate that kid. He's like, all the goddamn signs are gone again.

Dude, I remember. And then a lot of Pez. A lot of Pez. You collected Pez. That's right. You were a Pez guy. I was a Pez boy. Where's that collection now? Dude, my mom goes, we kept it all. And like one of the last times I went home, I was like, well, then let's see it, bitch.

And she's like, where did I put that? And I'm like, because you fucking threw it away the second I moved. I would never do that. And then she found some Pez and there was like 11. And I'm like, I had over 500 Pez in my collection. This is not all the Pez. Did you really? Yeah. Great question. I have the Spider-Man that the eyes popped out and it didn't have feet. Pre-feet. What? I had before it was even flavored. They just were mints. Oh.

And they didn't even have heads, dude. Adam, chill. Fucking piss now. That does suck when your mom fucking sells shit that's... Well, she didn't sell it. She just threw it out. How do you know? You know when your mom's out there selling stuff and you wish she wasn't? Dude, my mom sold my first car without asking and it fucking pissed me off, dude.

Jesus. What? This fucking car. Why is my car in my mind? What's with your family and your transportation? I don't know. I'm just putting it out of the gutter. I don't know. Yeah, my mom actually fucking sold my scooter out from underneath me. That's fucked up. It sucks, dude. It fucking sucks. Well, why didn't you cry about it? I looked down and saw... Obviously, I am. I'm in a weird spot. I woke up with a price tag on my feet one morning. Um...

Wait, so you had 500? I knew you collected, so I thought like 75, 80. But how do you display 500? I had full display cases. Of 500? Yes, I had multiple display cases in my bedroom. So will you just... Will you walk into a store and then...

the different toppers that you put on that have like... Like onions and lettuce and tomatoes? It's like the Star Wars theme. And then I had different ones that you could slide off and on. I had like Looney Tunes and Star Wars. Dude, I was a fucking dork. Slide off and on. So they're the big... If you remember, they're the big fucking blue cases. And then they have the little boxes that you slide out and then they're all filled. And there was like 50 a box.

And then I had them all full. And then I used to hide my drugs inside the case because you just have to pick it up. You guys want to come over for some pez? And then I also hid my beer underneath there, but that's also where the heating vent was. So then I go to bring the beer out, and we were going to drink beers in the park, and it was 85 degrees. These beers were fucking... And there was also bush lights, so it's already kind of scuffing. And we're like 15 years old, so we're all like, oh yeah, this is good.

Right. But you don't know any better. Dude, drinking beer is so cool. Dude, I'm so cool right now. And also, so are you. So they were tucked away in essentially like a plastic filing cabinet of sorts? No. Have you been to the store and seen all the Pez in the blue container? Adam, I'm sorry. I haven't. I don't have a visual. I know you spent a lot of time explaining this, but I do not have a visual of what you're talking about. I can picture what trophies and ribbons look like. I just don't know what...

You know, like, dude, I fucking hate you. The fucking thing sucks. See, the thing is, I didn't just collect it because I'm a nerd, which I am, but I was a crippled boy, so I was. Why is that funny? I was. It's pretty funny. And so I was a crippled boy. I was hit by a cement truck as a kid, and so when you're hit by a cement truck...

Which happened a handful of times where people will... Wait, you got hit by a cement truck a handful of times? Yeah, you always told us just once. Yeah, just once. Okay. You got hit by a handful of little cement trucks. There's this same guy who kept driving around the neighborhood going, he's going to pop his little fucking... There he is. His brother's the mayor. Yeah, his brother's the mayor. He's still walking. Get him. That's the little sign-stealing piece of shit. Yeah.

This time after you hit him, back over the motherfucker. Yeah, dump some cement on his cement shoes. He's unstoppable. So when you're like a crippled kid, you can't give them a basketball, which the driver of the cement truck gave me. Well, but that's inspiring.

Someday you'll dunk. That is not at all how he framed it, dude. I'm in full traction in the hospital. My legs are up like this. Like Bruce Lee? With pins in my knees. I'm a fucking mess, dude. And then he comes in with a basketball and he's like, huh? And I go, what am I going to do with this? Kind of punking him, right? Because I'm all morphined up, so I'm feeling good. And I'm like, what am I going to do with this? And then he goes...

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, man. Really? He's just trying to get out of the lawsuit. He has no idea. He goes, this little boy's 11. What do 11-year-old boys like? Basketballs. So then my mom, like, someone gave me a Pez, and I go, oh, this is kind of cool. And my mom goes, he likes Pez! Right. He likes Pez! Get him Pez! But then you liked it. Yeah, and then you're like, suddenly you have dozens of them because, like, everyone that visits you goes...

You like this, right? Yeah. And you go, well, I guess I collect these now. Yep. So, top three Pez from your collection, in your opinion. In my recollection, it was that Spider-Man that the eyes popped out. I also had the Pez gun that was from the 60s that shot, and it shot it so fast that you might poke your eye out. Let's go! And then I also had...

The super old ones that were the mint flavored. But that's just the inside, right? What did it look like? It was without a head. It was like a nub. I'm listening. It's a mint holder. This is cool. I didn't realize they made ones with heads. This is cool.

I like the fucking Pez as a mint holder. I didn't know it started like that. That's cool. Thanks, bro. Hey, we're lining some. You thought this was all going to be butthole talk? We're going to go a deep dive into my Pez history. Yeah. Yeah. And does Pez stand for something, or is it short for something? I don't remember that. Is it like a thing you should talk about for a long time on a podcast or something? Penis ejaculation zaddy. And he's back, people! Oh!

Yeah, for me it was a penis ejaculation zaddy. Yeah, that's what it was. Back when they were mints. That was back when they were mints. The guy who started on his deathbed, he's like, to his youngest daughter who's going to inherit the whole fucking whatever, she's like, come to me. Yes, yes, grandfather. It's an acronym. I don't know what that is yet, actually. Penis ejaculate zaddy.

This is like... She's like, we're going to keep that right here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, this is like what fucking Citizen Kane was based on. This is the first Rosebud. Yeah. Penis ejaculation zaddy. Hey, man. That's what I read on the internet. On Wikipedia. Good for you.

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Well, did you guys have any weird collections? I also collected berries. Skin. Poisonous berries. The skin of my neighbors. No, I had poisonous berries in a neighbor's tree that I would pick and smash and made like a Nickelodeon Gak type. Right. And then I sold it to the neighborhood kids, and then they got really sick. Right.

Right. Because you were essentially fermenting stuff and they were drinking it. I didn't know. Well, I didn't say eat it, but, you know, kids be crazy. And so they're like, what does this taste like? And, you know, kids got really, really sick. I think we talked about this because in like sixth grade, me and my homies, he shouted buzz balls. Very cool. I wish, dude. I wish, yeah. Me and my homies, do you guys remember? This is how old I am. You would kick a can down the street.

I remember the first car. A little tube. It was called a horseless carriage. It was a bagel. A little tube of like plasticky, squeezy schmutz and there was a straw and you'd poke the straw on it and like blow the bubbles. Oh, I know what you're talking about. And then you would seal it, right? Yes, exactly. So we went to the store, took all the straws off, took like the label off. Don't say you inhaled it in

your butthole. That's going to get weird. No, no. That's just where your brain goes. That's called boo-feeding. And we would... We sold it to kids as a drug you would huff. Oh, shit. But it wasn't. You couldn't get high. But then everyone all week long was like, dude, I got super fucking high huffing that shit. Can I get more? And then some kid told the vice principal...

Who was called The Flash. Who was a reverend on the weekend and a vice principal during the week that we were drug dealers. And we got brought in and he was like, what is this shit? And we were like, it's this thing. It's the toy. It's not drugs. And he was like, don't give me that sir bullshit. What?

After we called him sir, and then we basically got a free sermon. Oh, nice. We're suspended. That's cool. I'm a drug dealer. Why did they call him The Flash? Was he super fast? He was like a local track legend. Oh, I thought maybe he flashed his dick to kids. Oh, your principal, The Flash? Yeah. Hey, you know who he was? So at my middle school...

Martin Luther King Day was a week. Okay. And it was like all day assembly after assembly after assembly, and it was off the fucking chain. Your school sounds so much cooler than my school. It was so fucking good. We had like dance troops come in. We had like rapping police officers come in and perform. And he would calm the crowd of like rowdy-ass kids at the beginning of the assembly every time by just going...

Okay? But then, Martin Luther King week, he would go, King! King! And everybody would shout that shit. It was fucking lit! Yeah. And then you'd come back to school the next week and be like, this shit fucking sucks. Can we chant King again? It was so good. Can we get that going here? We didn't have anything. For Don the Flash Mishler, can we do this? Yeah, absolutely. Give me a hell yeah! King! King! King!

Oh, my God. I love it. I love it. George is having flashbacks to high school right now. Flashbacks. That's very funny. Oh, shit. Yes, points. Okay. Dude, we didn't have anything like that. We just had a guy that was covered in tattoos head to toe, and we called him. He was like, call me Mr. Tattoo. Really? Sure. And then he was like a don't do drugs guy, and he was like, look at me.

I've made some mistakes. That's fucking cool. Yeah, dude. The teachers booked him

twice in my four years in high school. And it was like my freshman year and my junior year. They like forgot they booked him twice. And then I see him a second time. I'm like, I just saw this fucker. Right. There's not one other guy in Omaha that could scare us into not doing meth. Yeah, what's up? He's the guy. He's the guy. I love that assembly though where he's like, kids, let's talk about prison rape. And you're like, oh! We had a chick in high school who like had HIV. What? And she can't,

Like, talk about safe sex. She came in to talk about safe sex. And she, like, for real, she for real, like, walked down the aisle and was like, you know, like, hey, it's good to be here, da-da-da-da. And she's like, stand up to one, like, child. And she's like, open mouth, kiss me. She's like, you like what you see here? What? And he's like, and she was attractive. Okay. And then she was like, you would hit this, huh? And you see all the teachers just go like.

Oh boy. Oh boy. And she's like, well, guess what? I have HIV. So if you fuck me, now you got that. And then she comes back to stage and starts to just give an entire assembly like, you think you can run around fucking whoever you want? And I'm like...

Actually, you know what? You, come fuck me right now. I dare you. You want to know a teacher's lesson. She kind of got like a carte blanche, like free ride to just do her thing because the message was strong. Your school was so much cooler than mine, dude. Yeah, your school is really cool. You had a live sex show for assemblies. It was dope. That's fucking cool. Hit this.

I thought my school was cool because we got Hot Pockets one year and I was like, yes! Wait, but you guys both had the cool thing that I didn't have, which was like...

the stage DUI situation. Oh, the every 15 minutes, dude. Oh, yeah. Yes, where the Grim Reaper would come. Do you guys know about this? Yes, this was like, this was to teach no fucking, don't drunk drive. And so like the Grim Reaper would come into your class. Yeah. Literally like dressed up with the sickle and everything. Yeah. And say like, you. Yeah.

Yeah. And then point at you. And then you got fucking taken out of class. And then they like mark you. They mark you. They put like a black X on your cheek. I actually got taken out of class. Yeah. And then we had to go spend the night at a fucking like another place. We got taken physically out of the school. Wait, your school was overnight? No, we got taken to this center Concord place. What did they do to you, man? Dude, I remember it was just like who else died? Can we get the spotlight on him, please? Yeah.

What do you mean they took you overnight? San Diego has you. No, that's what it was. We got pulled out of class. What's up?

What's up? Spotlight, spotlight. We got pulled out of class and taken to the center of town in this fucking teen center thing and we spent the night and there was... Kyle. What? Just embrace the spotlight, dude. I love it. I see you shying away from it. No, no, no. I mean, I love it. I don't mind it. It's all gravy. Just embrace it, dude. I remember there was... The messaging was kind of tough because we knew we weren't dead

Well, yeah, dude. Yeah, but there was girls there and the girl, all you were trying to do was like fucking finger bang and make out with the other dead people. You know what I mean? Hot, hot, hot, hot. Constantly, every moment of the day, go ahead, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then we fucking, and then the next day, so you spent the night, the next day they stage a fucking car crash on the, on the,

field, the football field. And you're like, how did this car get here? Was your dad in charge of all of this? No, my dad was not. No, my dad, like, they went to my parents' house. You want to run away, you bitch? Dude, they fucking went to my parents' house. They had a cop and a coroner go to every kid's house and say, we're sorry, but your son or daughter has died.

in a car accident. It was so fucking real. That's what they said to your parents? Your son or daughter? Or daughter.

We're not sure about it. Either way. That was a strange time. They're like, why? Because the body is so mangled and it's like, no, we just couldn't find his dick. Yeah. I hadn't sprouted yet. Your daughter with the giant clitor, son with a very small penis, is dead. Yeah, we could keep this on. This is tight. What's up? Um...

What's up? Hey, what's up? We didn't have that, dude. They came into our class. You can take it off. I was stoked because I also was a chosen one to be murdered. Yeah, it was fucking cool. I think they went to the problematic children, by the way. Probably. They looked at me and they were like, he's going to drink and drive.

Yeah, it was like the leaders. It was the leaders. You think it was the social leaders? No, I think it was the kid that they look at you and they go, you're going to be an issue here in about a couple years. Yeah, they knew it. Smoke weed every day. They X my face, and they were like, I was stoked because I was chosen, so I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, attention. Yeah, attention. This is tight. They X your face, and then they go, and you can't talk the rest of the day. And it was like the first period. So now you're just walking around school being like,

See, that's whack, dude. And guys, I don't know if you know this, Adam invented texting that day. Yeah. He was like, somebody give me a phone. You see how there's little letters on the top? What if we just use that to communicate? My real name is Adam Motorola. Oh, shit. Yes, points! That's a hard-ass name. Okay, I got it. Yes, points! Adam, did they do the car crash for you on the field and stuff as well?

Did they stage the car crash? Because they picked like... No, we all went to like the commons area and late. We'd all just like... Right. What? Right, yeah. And then they come in and they're like, this many kids die in Omaha every year. And we're like, not that many. Dude, they marched us. We're like, there's like 40 kids dead. You're like... Yeah, for us it was every 38 minutes HIV jizz gets shot out. And they would shoot jizz on your face and you couldn't...

You couldn't talk for the rest of the day. No, dude, you couldn't lick it. You couldn't lick it. You want to because it was jizz frosting. It was just, yeah, it was Krispy Kreme frosting, so you're like, kind of good. Yeah, you want to lick it so bad, but you can't because it's HIV jizz. You weren't allowed to. So you're like, I want to taste it. Leave it on there. Leave it on there. All day, all day. Holmes, stop touching your jizz. You have ate. What?

You have AIDS now. That is so... You are so dumb. That's cool that they just made you guys do planking. That's really cool. You're just like... Yeah, we all just acted like we were dead. It's actually corpse pose. Is planking still cool? Yeah, let's fucking bring planking back. That shit was fire. I know. Planking's so sick. Yeah, I feel like Gen Z is too lazy to plank. Planking's where you just like... Kyle, I don't know if that will support you. You just gotta...

Well, no, that's the floor. Sure. That's just the floor, dog. I'm just doing the shape. Well, you're just being yourself. Just do it on a table or something. I'm just being the shape. No, he legit wants to do it on the table, but he is afraid. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. It's science. That's great. Now, keep it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Okay. For the rest of the show. Already shaking. Okay.

Already shaking. Butt cheek is quivering. I'm actually doing pretty good, dude. I'm actually proud of you. That's some sick core strength. I'm just looking for some other shit to plank, bro. What can I fucking plank? Body by pickleball right here. Hey, you guys remember when Kyle had short-ass blonde hair on the show? Man, that was a tight era. Do we like this better?

Do we like this better or worse? Yeah, what do we think? Do we like the long hair? Because I'm actually a little bit fucking... Sometimes this shit fucking pisses me off. And I want to cut the fucking... I want to cut it. Now, did you...

Did you grow a lawn because you're like, I am thinning, so I want to have long hair one more time? Or do you... Oh, because I'm balding. Yes, exactly. I figured I was going to lose it, so might as well go fucking long now. Full Michael Bald. The best is when someone's like totally bald, but somehow they still have long hair. That's the best. Well, that's what I kind of thought. I thought I'd be at a skullet by now, but I'm not even close. It fucking sucks. Dude, you're doing all right. It's hanging in there. Wait, what? What's up? What's up, bro? No, you're hanging...

You're hanging in there, dude. Kyle, what did your childhood bedroom look like?

My child, you know what? I painted a fucking happy face on it. It was all black. The whole thing was painted black. It was just an anarchy symbol. And like the fucking devil was me. Dude, I was all hot-topicked out. Like 100%. I had fucking drip candles. I had fucking sick-ass... And wait, sorry. For somebody who never had a candle...

What's a drip candle as opposed to just a candle? Well, a drip candle was something that it burned, it melted in rainbow colors. In rainbow, yeah. It was like... Oh, so like as it burned, it turned different colors. Yeah, so you'd put it in like a bottle or something like that and then it would fucking like... But you still got it at Yankee Candle, right? No.

No, Hot Topic, dude. I was at Hot Topic all the fucking time. We were there together. We were there all the time. We would buy Raven's Revenge there. Raven's Revenge. Okay. What's that? Raven's Revenge is like hardcore fucking pixie dust. Yeah. I'm sorry.

What is Raven's Revenge and what is Pixie Dust? It's a sugar. The only thing I've ever heard of Pixie Dust is a wizard's rap. He's talking about Pixie Sticks. I am talking about Pixie Sticks. Thank you. It was like a harder Pixie Sticks. Like they had like black lemonade. So it was like goth Pixie Sticks. Oh, dude. This shit was so good. Pure sugar. You guys are wild. Yeah, your childhood was crazy. But you know what we did? Remember in middle school we got in trouble for snorting that shit in the fucking locker room, dude.

Yeah, you weren't in trouble. They were trying to save you. Yeah, the principal was like, oh, these kids are such bitches. Can you imagine the Tide Pod kids right now? They fucking narked on us, dude, when we were doing Tide Pods. They're just trying to save your life, fucking Caleb. You're right. I don't think we got in trouble. I think we got laughed at. It was cool, though, because you'd have just a black drip going. Ugh. Tell me about your childhood bedroom. Yeah.

Yeah, Blake's probably was super funky. My room? Yeah. All nerf. Blake was, oh, you know, Blake's was sick. Yeah, it was just a kush ball that you went inside. It was all kush, everything. Well, I... I can see, remember in elementary school when they would, like, put the big tarp and all the kids would go underneath it? Yes. Sit underneath it? That was just your bedroom. That was your room, wasn't it, motherfucker? You think that? That's how your shit works, huh? No way, dude. I was cool as fuck. My room was the garage. Exactly. Exactly.

Oh, yeah? You were Mike Seaver? Nobody gets that reference. I do. Yeah, my room was the garage, so it'd be really fucking cool. You could open the garage and just beat off... Be cold as fuck. And be freezing. Your room was dope, dude. What? I'm in my room! You could open up the garage and have headlights on you. What? What, Mrs. Jonica, my next-door neighbor? Oh, you're walking your dog? I'm jerking off. It's my room. It's my room here. Jesus. What's the deal? What's the deal?

Fucking get out of here. Go walk your dog somewhere else if you don't want to see me jerk off in my room. Oh, nice stroller. Yeah, I have a finger in my ass. What's the big idea? It's my room. Hey. So your childhood room was like the first man cave. Yeah, for sure. I started man caves for sure. That's sick, dog. And you had a water bed, didn't you? I did. Oh, did you have an ottoman? Yeah.

You must have had ottoman. Dude, my butthole was sucking wind, bro. Sucking wind. No, actually, now that you mention it, it's really fucked up because the waterbed was definitely my mom and stepdad, so they fucked on it a lot. The waterbed I had was my parents' as well, and they definitely fucked on it as well. When my parents went to get rid of their waterbed, I was like, I would love... Wait, why do you guys all have waterbeds? This is crazy. Dude,

I don't know. I guess our parents be fucking. You had a waterbed too? No. I go, I have to get, give me that waterbed. And they go, my dad goes, you don't want this waterbed. Yeah! Yeah!

And I did not get it at the time. I'm like, I don't know. Maybe it's uncomfortable. I don't know. Your parents don't sleep on separate floors? Go ahead. It'd be cool if he said that about a lot of items, too. It's like, can I borrow a pair of sweatpants? He's like, you don't want these sweatpants. Hey, have you seen the TV remote? You don't want to touch the TV remote.

Keep it real, though. How hard would it be to fuck on a waterbed? I've never done that. That has to be... It's hard! I feel like that requires skill. We're not talking about the skill. No, you get good at it. That's why so many 50, 60-year-old men now have slipped discs. They all have back issues. They have herniated discs.

But I imagine, don't you just use the flow of the water to be like... It's the motion of the ocean. Okay. Yeah, you're right. I think you as a swimmer would have a little easier time. But me... I'll just put on the nose... Me in the water, you see I try to fight it. I'm like... Right, yeah. There's one thing you should know. Even when Adam is washing his hands, it's full hand-to-hand combat. Yeah. I go hard in the paint. It's crazy. It's crazy.

Right.

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Should we do some Hot Topics? Let's do it, baby. San Diego Hot Topics. Get it. Let's get it. Hot Topic. I love that story. Please send us the pandas. That's the quote. It goes, please send us the pandas. San Diego residents want to see giant pandas return.

Where's that? At the zoo? Y'all know. San Diego. Is that at the San Diego Zoo? Yes. Yeah. So I guess China was like beefing with America. It was? Yeah. I guess still is. And they're like, you know what? Fuck it. Give us the pandas back. Please don't take the pandas. Sorry. That's your thing. That's your thing. That's your thing. Which is like such a hard stance. Yeah. That's so funny that that's the thing that gets people riled up. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

It is kind of like a cultural blow. You would think China would be like, what if we sent missiles? We're like, bring it on. They're like, what if we took our pandas? We're like, yo, let's talk. Let's talk. Hang on. Wait, what the fuck did you just say? Wait, what? Are we talking like panda pandas or like Panda Express? Kung Fu Panda Bear? They're like, what if they said you can't watch Kung Fu Panda Bear anymore? It's just Kung Fu Panda. Kung Fu Panda Bear. That's not the name of the movie. That is it? That's a bad title. What if they said they would take Bayer the Medicine? So...

But would you rather them take the actual pandas or Panda Express? Like those pandas can kick rocks. Orange chicken is here to stay. That is the hangover savior. Chinese president... Xi. Xi? It's just X, bro. XI. XI. Kind of a tight name. XI? It's kind of a tight name. Xi?

Shebang, shebang. Sorry, go ahead. Hinted at possible return of pandas to the San Diego Zoo and others across the country during a visit to California for the Asia Pacific Economic Corporation Conference. Been there. Yeah, and then he said basically like, yo, bitch, I'll give you the pandas back if we let us have nukes. Adam's reading from the New York Times. Adam's reading directly from the New York Times. No, this is the Brozark courier. Yeah.

The bears have long been the symbol of the U.S.-China friendship since Beijing gifted a pair of pandas to the National Zoo in Washington in 1972, and they take them just like that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. It's a symbol of friendship. I guess it's kind of cool. That's fucked up. What are we giving to other countries? We're buying all their shit. It's a fair deal. We're giving them our jobs. What do you mean? There you go. Now you're talking.

This fucking can, these pants, my dilt. Nothing? You don't want my dildo.

I wasn't asking for it. I never asked for your dildo, Dad. Well, you don't want it. Trust when I bust. I didn't even know you had one, Dad. I didn't know you had one, Dad. All I'm saying, you don't want Mom's sex swing. Let me know. You don't want my wife your mom. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, true. Hit me with it, Blake. Real quick, it'd be worse if they had a button they could hit.

Where, like, the pandas just drop dead. The codes, yeah. The codes. If they had the codes and the pandas were just, like... That would be worse. Eating, eating, and then they just fall. That would be way worse. And then somehow I have to make a code out of them now. Damn, dude. You know? Okay. Anyway. Go.

You hit me with it. You know how it goes. You did. Did San Diego make the right call clamping down on e-scooter companies? I mean, yeah, fuck those things, right? Those things are fucking wild, bro. I know that I would have tried to take those. If I was younger and on those, I would try to take them off ramps and shit. I would have fucked myself up. I'm running away.

And then it doesn't move. I'm going away, daddy. Yeah, but you don't have a credit card, so it's not moving. I got to go on the side of like people. You got to know your limitations. Okay. If you're too old, stay the fuck off these scooters. If you see someone scooting and they're smiling, they think they're going to die. If you see somebody who's like 22 on a scooter, there's no smile. They're just getting where they got to go.

Hitting jumps. Yeah. It's great. Some of these young bloods on these scooters. The only time I've ever taken them, immediately I'm like, shouldn't be on this. Right, exactly. I'm like 11 drinks deep and I'm like... Just smiling. And I just have to go three city blocks and I'm like...

Now we got to take the scooters. I'm still going to send it. You download the app. You're like, yeah, just let me get the app here. Yeah, it gives you a lot of ways to back out. But you're so drunk, you're like, fuck it, I'm going. You know there's no helmet. Check this box. By the time you would have gotten through all the app, you could have just walked there. And you're like, fuck it. Fuck it. I'm going, kid. Have you ever gone to a city and already had the app?

No. No? These people have. They're like, yeah, we're Lime Boys for life. Right, but Lime is here. Birdmeat is the one I have. But then you go to another city and you're like, I don't know what the fuck bird is or what the squirrel or another animal, dog. What the fuck is dong and dork? I thought that was a whale dick. Well, how did they clamp down? What'd they do?

Clamp down. They said they clamped down. What did they do? We went for lunch earlier and I didn't see any. I was like, they must have clamped down. Yeah, how did they clamp? What was the specifics of the clamping? There must have been a clamping. Strict rules were enacted by the city council to limit speeds to three miles an hour. What the fuck?

That's low. That's low. That's really low. I'm pissed now. And other restrictive measurements or measures that slowly pushed out operators of e-scooters. Restrictions from governments include citywide bans in places like

Paris. Sure. San Diego banded in Paris? Oui, monsieur. Whoa. Was that a drop? Oh, that's you. So basically, cities are just going, you know what, fuck these e-scooters. And they're also just littered all over the streets. That does bother me. When you see a dead scooter. Yeah. Okay, I'm talking to whoever here has done this. What the fuck are you doing?

Like, just stand it up. Don't be a fucking loser. And I know you think it's cool and rock and roll. No, it's not rock and roll. It's fucking stupid. It's gnar and you're stoked. Yeah. I like the hard stance of Ders like, use your kickstands. I fucking swear to God, if you don't use a kickstand...

It's on site with me, dude. I think it's like the lowest of low flexes to be like, and I'm not even going to leave it standing up because the rest of my life, I have zero power.

Like, that's what you're saying. As soon as you don't leave a fucking bird scooter standing up, you tell everyone you are the absolute bottom of the barrel. And this is your flex. But as an adult, yes, I agree with you. Just use the kickstand. But you never, as a kid, rode your bike as fast as you can and then jumped off and let it soar off into the distance? That's like ghost riding. A, that's my bike. B, that's cool. And C... Dude, way cool.

That fucks up my whole point. Sometimes you have fucking diarrhea and you've got to just drop the bird, bro. Diarrhea. So you think every bird on the ground is somebody who's about to shit themselves? Yes. If that's the case. Knowing how often Blake has diarrhea. Yeah. Diarrhea. It seems like one in four men have diarrhea every day. All the time. And I'm all one of them. I am that one.

Hit me with it, Blake! Oh, yeah, of course. I was, uh... Dude, woolly mammoths? Yep. Talk to me. They're coming back. Yes! That's fucking sick. We got a real-life Jurassic Park happening. De-extinction of the woolly mammoth. Oh, I've heard about this. Expected by 2028. Yeah.

Colossal Biosciences plans to combine DNA from ancient species. As long as they don't bring back my ex-wife. With living Asian elephants to birth a calf that could live on tribal land. Okay. Well, first of all, I didn't understand the whole back half of that sentence. What? Yeah, just... I didn't even know there was, like, Asian elephants. By the way, you want... You think the tribe... There's, like, an elephant that's just like, I'm actually from Iowa, but...

Right. Yeah. I'm a North American elephant. I do love that they think, like, the tribes want this on their land. They're like...

Didn't we already get fucked on this whole deal? Now you're going to put 50-foot elephants on our show? We're being trampled by woolly fucking mammoths. I don't know, man. Didn't we learn in Jurassic Park this is not a fucking good idea, man? I feel like we've learned that. Dude, I feel like all the movies from our childhood, we're just not learning from them. Like Terminator, they're like, yeah, AI, it'll fuck everything up. Totally. And we're like, I don't know, seems kind of cool. Easy money. Yeah, man.

What about T-1000, bro? We don't want that fucking thing. Ders just sent us a link of like, what was it? It was like old. I don't know what you're talking about. No, I sent them a link. I drove down here from LA. Long drive. And you're just scrolling. You have a lot of time. You're scrolling. You're looking in the discoveries.

And I clicked on this account called, like, AI grandmas. And it's just, like, grandmas in bikinis that are, like, jacked grandmas. Yeah. But they're not real. They're AI. Honestly, it's a good follow. It's pretty good. Get on Instagram and go to the AI group. You look at one and you go, I can't believe that's not real. No, I know. Then you look at two and you go.

I can't believe... I need to keep looking at this. I guess aging isn't that bad because these are some banging grandmas, too. AI is not fucking around. Then there's one that's like a nun with inner fucking high-cut thong...

underwear and you're like i i didn't go that deep in the crates but i sent it to you it's scary how real they are they look yeah ai porno but here's the weird thing about if you look at an ai picture if you zoom in on i guess like the fingernails and teeth yes you start seeing like the weird pixelation that you're like oh this is far from real that's but you know what that's already getting like better by the day i think

Dude, by the minute. By the second, even, dude. And also, like... Yeah, this shit's moving fast, dude. Like, now I'm starting to, like, like fucked up hands. Like, that's my new kink. Oh, shit. Like... You're like, oh, did you have, like, a machine accident when you were a child? What up? What up, girl? Hey, girl. Wrap that thing around me. What them fingers don't do. Yeah, let me see that little... Everything. Kyle. Kyle. What's up? Isaac. Hit me with those Q&As, dog. Yeah. Stop!

Isaac, and some beers. Some beers. Some beers. There he is. I need a beer. But I need a beer, though. Ooh, a little bundle of goods, too. So we got some, you guys have some hot, hot cues. We've got some sweet, sweet eggs. So Evan in the crowd wants to know, did Ders go to an all-black middle slash high school?

Is that for real? No, it was like 60-40. Because he seems attuned to rap and famous American Africans, which... American Africans. Evan, do you know a black person? They're like, no, actually, don't call us African Americans. Call us American Africans. Says like one guy to him in eighth grade, and he's like, all right, from now on, every black person I meet is going to be American. Let me just say this. It was like 60-40, but like...

60 black, 40 white. Very cool, dude. Just because you know about rap doesn't mean shit. I have black role models, teachers, principals, and heroes, and local legends that I looked up to. It's a whole different thing than watching MTV. Next question. It also says, I also went to an all-black school. I'm a white guy, and also into the same shit. Hey, Evan. No, you're not. Yeah.

Goodbye. But Evan, just to be real, we should compare rap albums from 8th grade. Yeah. I know. When you would tell us about rap stuff, I'm like, I don't... So you're telling me Mace isn't the coolest guy of all time. Yeah. All right. Okay. Because MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were pretty rad. Pretty radical to me in my middle school. Shout out to Common. Hamilton. Common. Rudiger. Go ahead.

What's a no? Rudiger? Rudiger. Yeah, Rudiger. Is that a fucking reference to what I think? To Rudy. Rudy Rudiger. He goes, was it a real naked man slash woman, grandma, you ate sushi off of in Wolves of Rancho? So that's funny. Naked grandma! So Wolves of Rancho was an episode. I actually directed that episode. And whoop!

Let me add this in the guild. He paid all those dues. I did pay those dues. And then never did it again. I'm like, this sucks, dude. Yeah, it was a real naked lady. Hollywood. Can I say this? Can I say this to the guy who asked the question? I know what you did there. Okay. Okay. What he's doing is that my character as Dolph Lundgren is... Oh, man.

Super deep cut. I see you, I see you, I hear you. Very good. Did Terz write the first two questions? They're just all very personal. And then did you get the one about, like, is it really that schlong? So Connor Zatino wants to know, is it normal that sometimes when I shit, I cum? I wouldn't say normal, but I don't know if you have to be worried. One time I got a foot massage and jizzed immediately. Yeah.

I don't know why. I got like a massage. She put my feet in like a bag of hot jelly. Right. Wait, really? I don't know. It's like at a spa. I've never been to like, I don't really go to spas and shit and I'm not used to being comfortable. So she like put my feet in. She's like, can I do this special treatment? I think you'd enjoy it. And I'm like, yeah, sure. I don't know. And then she put my feet in hot jelly and I go, gawk.

Damn. I'm going to come. Came immediately. Can I ask you something? You came your pants? No, I came the little towel. Like the towel, right? Oh, okay. And this is like a reputable place? Yeah.

Have you either gone back or thought about going back? Now every time I get a – because sometimes we'll be staying at a nice restaurant or a nice hotel, and my wife is like – I thought you were about to say staying at a nice restaurant. I went to this steakhouse, and I just started blowing loads, dude. Go to the steakhouse. I'm like, you got any hot jelly back there?

Fuck it. No, nice hotels will get a massage, my wife and I, and she's like, I'm always like, yo, what's up with the hot jelly? And they've never heard of it. Every time they're like, what? And I'm like, yeah, the hot jelly. Yeah. The hot jelly treatment. And they're like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Like, where you put the feet in the hot jelly and the jizz. One dude goes, wait a second, what about Mike who used to dress up as that woman? Yeah. Didn't he get fired for doing that weird shit? Yeah. I...

The stuff that makes you cum your towel. I'm going to cum. Do not cum. I'm going to. Ben and Eileen Dover goes, in episode of Fochella. Ben Dover, Eileen Dover. That's really good. How did you guys decide on Third Eye Blind? Because we sing, I wish you would step back from the ledge, my friend. Did we decide on it or did it decide on us? It chose us. I think it did. He's amazed. He asked, did Creed say no? No.

Wow. Well... Yes, points! Third Eye Blind, one of Adam's favorite bands, which, by the way, dude, I saw them in Bonnaroo, and I was like, I don't know, Third Eye Blind, they're kind of whack, and then at the...

And I was like... Wait, you said they're cut? Hits. Hits. Wall of hits. He also was wearing a leather skirt. And I'm like, this guy is cool. Right. I mean, like, you got to remember, they said doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot,

Goes, Adam, can you sing Suck on Your Boobs, a song from Carl's wedding episode? There you go. I don't know if I can. Okie dokie. I don't care that you're stuck and you're toothless. I don't care if your body stinks. I don't care if you live in an alley. Because them titties make my heart sing I want to suck.

♪ Suck on your boobs ♪ ♪ Maybe some kissing ♪ ♪ Then back to the boobs, oh ♪ ♪ Let them say what they want ♪ ♪ They're just jealous of your boobs ♪ ♪ And your homeless boobs ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ - It's wild how it's like, you just started. - Unbelievable. - Comes back. ♪ Please don't stop the music ♪

Honestly, like, I don't know if jealousy is the word, but like, I'm definitely disappointed in myself that I don't remember anything.

I only remember, for whatever reason, music sticks in my head and I can remember. Do you remember anything? Once you start the riff. I played Anders. I know that. Yeah, you were one of the main three. No, I remember that. I was there. You also remembered the Dolph thing just a second ago, bro. Yeah, you got that. Yeah, but that's a plot point. Oh, okay. I think you just remember the writing side. Yeah, maybe the stuff you... But that was when you took bath salts and went into the dream or whatever. Yeah.

His character. No, no. On set, Adam was doing bath salts and we're like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Dude, you have a song to memorize. He's like, they're my funny rocks. Like, all right. Whatever. When is the release of Adam DeMamp fitness videos? Dude.

Dude, when we did Workaholics, I was like, dude, without a doubt, Isaac, hit up Adidas. Hit up fucking K-Swiss. Hit up Nike. Hit up Puma. I'm ready to do some fucking commercials of fitness videos, dude. And then apparently he did, and I was like, what'd they say? And he was like, they were like, we're good on that. I thought you were about to be like, Skechers is interested, actually.

Skechers is big, man. No, they're like, Snickers is interesting. Snickers workout videos would be so sick. Pit Pillsbury. Yeah, your body Pillsbury made a call. The dough boy. They want to hear you say hee hee. Hee hee.

Actually, they're changing it to Sheehy. They're shifting their whole marketing. Bianca Sanchez says, What is your favorite line from the show? I'll go first. Damn, what up with all these books? That is a good one. It was dang. It was dang. It was just dang.

That's pretty good. I'm a light guy living in an ab guy's world. Bitch better have my honey! Classic. Iconic. Classic. Iconic. I don't like the B word. Go ahead, Kyle. What's your favorite? I think my favorite one that I like is... What the fuck was it? I'll go. I got one. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I can't. I can't shut the fuck up. I know. I'm not...

I may be water trash. Shut up, bitch. I may be water trash, but I'm also a water human. Okay. Okay, I think that's a fantastic line. And that was just something Kyle said in the writer's room, and I said, can I use that? Yeah, of course. Mine is for sure, without a doubt, forever going to be, the doctor said it's the size of a pozone, which to me is the funniest...

in the history of comedy because it has the word Pazone in it. Yeah. We were always trying to work Pazone into our bits. And they're saying that the doctor said it's the size of a Pazone. Also, almost everything Jet Set said was ridiculous. For sure. He's like, what's up with...

That's my fucking cactus. Get out of my house. Remember the line delivery where he said, suck my dick. Oh, yeah. And I was like, that was perfect. Dude, Judd's set was just a find, dude. He wasn't like a real actor. Can you tell? R.I.P. Every line he delivered was like way better than anything we could have. Like when he just said, get up out my house, and we're in the cubicle, and we're like...

Yeah? Yep. We didn't write that. He was just telling us to get out of the fucking house. The best. R.I.P. We knew we had solid gold when we had him on. I think it was just background. Then we gave him a line where we're like, hey, just say you want string cheese in the break room. And he goes, got it. Rolling. Lights. Action.

I want spring cheese. Yeah. In the break room. And we kept being like, so it's string cheese. You know, like the long, and he's like, I know it. Rolling, action. I want spring cheese. And we go...

You know what? He's right. Yeah, that's right. We're wrong. This guy wants to bring cheese. That extra fresh, dewy cheese. And he sprung onto the scene. That's the take. Well, you guys, I mean, we were just able to pull that one from the abyss, that song. Is there any song that you and Kyle can sing? Do we have that, Todd? Do we have any nasty dudes, Todd? Oh, shit. Really? I would love to see it. I'd love to see it. Afterwards, I might go take a piss, though. Oh, shit. Pump it up, Todd.

I'm kind of a nasty dude I like it when a girl sucks on my tits I'm kind of a nasty dude I like it when a girl sucks on my tits I'm kind of a nasty dude I like it when a girl sucks on my tits I'm kind of a nasty dude I like it when a girl sucks on my tits I'm kind of a nasty dude I like it when a girl sucks on my tits My tits My tits My tits My tits

My tits, tits. Look, I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like it when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like it when a girl sucks on my tits. Now, oh. Oh, titties. Oh, titties. Oh.

Oh, titties.

Oh, titties. Oh, titties. Oh, titties. Here's the deal. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for queuing that up. And I'm going to be honest, that's the second time we've performed it. I don't know if my girlfriend likes that. No. But it was really cool of your mom to come out tonight. Thanks, Mom. Slurping some titties in the front row. Real team player. Dude.

Okay, so your boyfriend said it's okay. My girlfriend doesn't. She's like, I got a ring on my mother's finger. I'll tell you what. She has a really good latch. A healthy latch. Well, Blake, you didn't have to go up there and give like you're nursing a newborn baby. You can stand a few feet back and not be ready for the latching. Right, yeah.

I don't know. If we're going to do Nasty Dude, I want to get my titties sucked. Okay, yeah. Fair enough. That is true. Do you guys have any tape backs, apologies, any epic slams? Blake, any? Anything, anything, Blake? This is your chance. Hey, I want to apologize that I didn't get to throw buzz balls to my homies out here.

Fuck! Yeah, fuck this place. Fuck laws. That being said, yeah, if they invited us back, we'd play in a heartbeat. Absolutely. We love this place. Absolutely.

Takebacks. Takebacks, apologies. I don't know. Yeah, I feel like we're really standing by everything we're saying up here. Doubling down on everything said. I would like to double down and no takebacks. No takebacks here in San Diego. I feel like we're flying by the seat of our pants. I'll apologize right now to our editor who's going to have to sift through all that. All that fucking gold that we gave you guys here in San Diego. Fair enough. Oh my God. Thank you, God. Thank you.

I would like to say thank you to everybody that's coming out to these shows. We appreciate you guys so fucking much. And I truly, I mean that. I lie about a lot of shit up here, but I really do. I really do mean that. And it's amazing that after all these years, our show's been off the air for six years now. He's very drunk. For six years now. And the fact that you guys still show up means a lot to us. So thank you guys.

That's an epic moment of gratitude. It's cool that just six years later you're willing to suck on this dude's sliced and diced pectoral muscle. You know, they snatched the Workaholics movie from our grasps. We were about to fucking do it. But they'll never take our freedom! That's right. And if we wanted to chant fuck Paramount Plus, I'm willing to do that with you guys. Fuck Paramount Plus! Fuck Paramount Plus! Fuck Paramount Plus!

No. Alright, you guys said it, not me. I got some epic giveaways, guys. We love you, baby. Let's toss some shirts into the motherfucking audience. Friendship. Let me get a few of those. Let me get a few of those. I'm gonna go deep. I'm gonna go deep. I'm gonna go deep. Right in here in the center. You ready? Nice catch. Let's get it over here. Let's get it over here. Here it goes. It's gonna go real high. Thank you for hooking it off, you guys. Thank you. We love you. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes. Daddy got a pee-pee.

She bangs. She bangs. Thank you guys so much, San Diego. Absolute blast. Oh, shit. Thank you. This was another episode of This is Important. Thank you. San Diego. Good job, you guys. Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll be right back.

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