Ep 19: Ranking the Guys’ Butts from Best To Worst
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Pull your fucking butt out. Let's go. The food was shat upon. We're shooting a hardcore gay porno. You should really be hanging your hat on your dick, bro. And here we go.

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Oh, yeah. Pretty good. Oh, classic. That's the entrance one. Hello, everybody. All right. Now you're leaning into it. I love it. We're back. Yeah, way to kick it off with a couple of those. Don't even talk today. Yeah, last week you were really fucking blowing it, Beezer. Yeah, well, the board is fully locked and loaded. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right.

Austin 316, baby. No, baby. I'm hyped. Have you guys met him? Did you guys ever meet Stone Cold? No. Oh, my God. If I met... I met him and shook his hand, and his hand was just fucking muscled up, like thick, like...

Like a thick paw. Yeah, I think he's like the real deal. You know, I've met a handful of wrestlers, and they're all like doing some sort of zany character that isn't really them. They for sure put it on. And for sure, because if you don't, you're just a total psychopath. But Stone Cold is like the one guy that like he is that guy. He is like the denim dude who just chugs beers. Oh, yeah. His speeches. It works for him. Works for everyone. He's so inspiring to me. Like, I would vote for that guy.

For what? No. Anything. For anything? Sure. City comptroller. I mean, fucking Jesse Ventura was a governor of Minnesota. And he's no Stone Cold. I turned things around for the great state of Minnesota. But the thing is, he shouldn't have been. We need to stop electing just celebrities for celebrity's sakes. Okay. You don't like alternative views? Yeah, wait. Was he bad? Do we know if Jesse Ventura was actually bad?

He seems like he would be. He does seem like he would be. And then I think he turned out okay. And then I don't know what happened to him. He's turned a little weird lately. Well,

I mean, if you want me to kick your governor's ass. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah, baby. I mean, dude, keep it real. That's kind of what politics is right now anyways. It feels like wrestling. Feels like WWE. It does. My gosh. Where would he be a governor? Obviously, he could run for president. Texas. Texas. Is he from Texas? Yeah.

Yeah, the Texas State bird, bro. Yeah, damn right. Tito Ortiz ran for, I don't know if he won, but he ran for like, I want to say mayor of Huntington Beach, which makes perfect sense. But he was... Sickest mayor? Yeah, there's just like Tito Ortiz fucking people were flying his flag all over Huntington. It was quite the event. Yeah, I saw that. He would be the worst mayor ever.

For sure. I didn't realize it was actually him. It's just like all fights are legal. Like any brawl is good to go. I don't know. Did you guys ever watch that documentary? The documentary on, it was him and fuck, another dude who like they battled a few times. And like the other guy seemed kind of like smart about it. And Tito just didn't seem like he had a full grasp of like,

What, of fighting? No, no, no, no. Just outside of fighting. Awesome fighter. Dude's a fucking hard-ass champion. Okay, you meant... I'm sorry. You meant like during the pre-interview or something? In the documentary. Oh, okay. You know, they're like, what do you think about XYZ that's like outside of fighting? And he's like...

Dude, I fight, okay? And you're like, okay. Okay. All right, well, don't get into trouble in Huntington Beach then because he is on the Huntington Beach City Council. He won the city council seat. Good for them. Good for them. He was waiting for the belt. He's like, where's the belt? They're like, it's a dog.

They should make that. I feel like he could probably enact the thing that I want to have where if you catch a parking attendant giving you a ticket, if they're in the act of it, you should be able to fight them to see if you get it. Well, you know, I mean, I told this story on the podcast a handful of weeks ago. Remember, I was getting a ticket and she goes, oh, you live here? And I go, yeah. Sorry, I forgot it was street sweeping. And she goes, oh, OK, just rip it up. It's fine. Right. But imagine now if you had to fight her.

Oh, I would have beat the shit out of that lady. There you go. If you said rip it up and she said, come get me, come get it. She said rip this up. Rip this up. Yeah, I dare you to rip this up. Wait, so I have to fuck her?

No, you have to fight her, bro. Is that how you describe? Is that sex to you? Ripping something up? The ripping and the tearing. Damn. Ripping and the tearing. Do we have that sound bite? It's coming. That will be next week. It's on the docket. What is the ripping and the tearing from? I just like am like drawing a blank. What is that? Kyle, the ripping and the tearing is from one of the greatest internet videos. Oh, Hedonism. From Hedonism 2. Wow.

Of like the old guy in like a G-string or something. Speedo, yeah. Speedo, yeah. He's in good shape. He's in good shape. He was in pretty good shape, but he was just like – talk about how he's so excited for Hedonism 2 and then goes, the ripping and the tearing, the ripping and the tearing, and is like humping the air. Yeah, he had moves too. The best. The best.

The best. Gold. I'm here for the ripping and the tearing. There were certain hip gyrations that he was doing that you're like, oh, this guy knows what he's doing. He went into a classic figure eight seesaw maneuvers. I actually went recently on the Yelp reviews for the hedonism place and...

Pretty good. They kind of got shitted on, dude. Oh, what? What do you mean? Really? What? It seems like a clean, like, five-star island. Yeah, it seems like a beautiful resort. No. Huh. For the people that don't know, Hedonism is like a swingers festival or something? I think it's an island. No, I think it's a resort. Swingers resort. Oh, it is a full-on resort that you could just go to at any time. There's not, like, a big event. No.

I'm sure there's many events, but... Right. Okay. Yeah, it's a Jamaican... It's like a little beach hotel where you go and they have a nude pool and a not-nude pool. Well, the thing is, the bummer about that stuff is on paper you're like, oh, that sounds really cool because in your imagination you're thinking it's like Dan Bolzarian's crew of just like... Hard body. Or just Dan Bolzarian. You're like... Just Dan Bolzarian, just butt naked, glistened up. Dream. Hello!

That gorilla booty? Oh, yeah. Just that high and tight. And you're thinking a bunch of Dan Bilzerians and a few random chicks. But that's not who's there. That's not who's there. No, no, no, no. It is. It's old guys talking about ripping and tearing. It's guys that are, like, way too. They all, like, are too into, like, drawing dragons and shit. And, like, for sure, for sure, like, also collect swords. Can you be too into drawing dragons, Adam? Yeah.

There does come a point. What's really wrong with that? No, nothing's wrong with that. I'm just saying it's a specific type of person that I feel like if you draw, like, fantastical women, like, if you draw, like, hot babes on dragons, you also want to go to hedonism, too, for the Rippin' and the Terran. It makes sense. That does. I understand that parallel so well, dude. Yeah, that actually adds up for me a lot. For sure. Dragon energy. Right.

Yeah, if you have like a knife in a leather satchel that you've fastened, that you carry around with you, that you've made their own leather satchel for your knife, and maybe you even forged your own blade, you might go to hedonism. You might go to hedonism.

Can we hear some of these Yelp reviews? I mean, not like verbatim, but like what was the downfall? Like just the crowd or like they shitting on the food? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, the food, all the chicken tenders. The food was shat upon. Oh, okay. That's a bummer.

Basically, I just don't think it probably used to go off pretty hard and pretty cool. There's no doubt in my mind. In the 90s. But they haven't updated the rooms like people are saying. I like all your references are the 90s were really the peak of all existence in Blake's mind. Yeah. Anytime he talks about something being the best, he's like, dude, in the 90s? Well, I mean, we're talking about hedonism. It was probably cracking off in the 90s.

It might have been 2000. Well, we're talking about hedonism too, right? Right. We're talking about two. There was another hedonism that was just in some guy's pool. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was his pool in New Jersey. I don't think they did much of a makeover from one to two. Like all the rooms, they kind of just put the change, the sign, like flipped it down like a calendar day. It went from one to two. So the accommodations are just dated is what you're saying? Yeah, they said there were like cigarette burns on the sheets.

Is that bad? Look, if you go to hedonism too, you gotta know what you're getting into. There's gonna be some holes in some sheets. Yeah, well, that's like a party island, you know? It's like people are just out there, they're not taking care of it because you're just getting wasted and fucking, right? I mean, that's all you're doing. Well, basically what the...

Like most Yelpers, the Yelpers who were there were people who were swingers, and they were basically saying there's much better options than hedonism. Oh, there's other options? Yeah. Yeah, like hot shit. Oh, you know there's plenty of... What's that new-new? What's the new-new-new-new-new-new-new? Yeah. There's got to be other options than hedonism. For sure, there's...

layers and levels to that shit. Hedonism 3? Thank you. Hedonism 3 on the banks of Mykonos. Oh, shit. Are we hitting that trifecta? Dang, the third hedonism. That's something we should franchise. Yeah, and you know we would put a Keynes in the Hedonism 3 right as you pull up. Goes without saying. You get your chicken tenders, you get your Texas toast. Uh,

Uh-huh. And then you don't get too greasy. Well, or you do. Maybe that's what you would grease up with. Who knows? I'm trying to lick that cane sauce off some nipples. Let's go. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I'm trying to think if there is a time in my life. Yeah, I would have gone to hedonism too, right? I would have gone at some point. We all would have gone at some point, right? Right? Right?

Right? What does that mean exactly? I mean, like, mid-20s, I would have saved up and got a fucking ticket and gone to Hedonism 2 just for fun. Yeah, at like 20, 23 or something. We would have gone. Guys, guys, guys. No, no, no. There's no would have. This is a place that we're going to go when shit hits the fan and everything goes south. Like, when you get divorced, lose everything, but you still have, like, 10 grand to your name, you blow half of that at Hedonism 2. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah, baby. Then you hit the restart button. You call your kids and you go, look, daddy's back. I did some thinking. You're just covered in herpes sores. Daddy's back. Give daddy a kissy. You just say, daddy got it out of his system. Your brain is cleared out. It's definitely not a place you go in your 20s. This is a place where you end up. That's a really cool flick where you're just like a cool story. Everybody's getting recently divorced.

friends decide to go to hedonism too. Hey, well that's, that's the movie in like, in like five, five to eight years that we're all writing together. Just a group of friends. That's like, that's like our grownups is going to hedonism. It's just a very sad, uh,

But then actually it's not sad. We get there and we just have an awesome time. There's no real downfall to it. Somebody has to fall in love and it's like this is real. And the girl has to just be like, I'm sorry, I'm just here for the rip it in the Terran. And you're like, I'm an escort. It's like I'm paid to be here. Can you imagine how sad the post-coital snuggles session is?

that's got to be dark, right? Right. People are either just like running to be like, I'm done. They leave or like you're holding each other and you both just start crying and it's not even together. It's still alone. It's got to be bad.

Well, you're just in a puddle of flesh at that point. You know, there's just like big faux leather fuck pits that they got. Yeah, they mentioned that. Where there's just one guy just drawing everybody who's just like, I'm not quite the artist. And then he's drawing everybody and drawing dragons behind them and shit. Can I draw you with a dragon? There's a guy forging steel off to the side.

Why does Adam think hedonism is renaissance fair, by the way? It's probably the same crowd. It's the same exact thing, Blake. It's the same thing. That's cool. This is what goes down there. The most popular thing is drawing dragons. Okay. Then it's fucking...

Then it's showing pictures of their kids to each other, and then it's smelting swords. Yeah. Hey, Anders, I don't know if we've ever agreed more. We are 100%. We went skiing last year together. This is them. Here they are. Wait, don't bite. Don't bite it. I was just given this mug through my friends over at Oakland Coffee, and I took a drink.

And it says our metal mugs are specifically designed and crafted. Please hand wash. So I for sure didn't wash this cup before I started drinking from it. That's not, I'm not going to die from that, right? Wait, so you just drank it. You drank the note. I started to drink the note. And then I realized I'm still going to drink it. Oh,

But yeah, I'm fine, right? That's just a little muckety-muck. That's just – I'm not – That's not going to hurt you. That's just paper. That's just wet paper, right? I remember when I used to work at the improv and they gave me all those glasses for free. Oh, we had so many. And then I was handing them out as gifts for everyone. They're cool. I worked at the Hollywood Improv Comedy Club. It's a cool comedy club.

And they gave me all these free glasses and I'm giving them out to everyone. And the reason that they gave them away is because there was lead in the paint and they could poison you. That's right. Poison you. Whoopsies. Good looking out. Good looking out. I just was really hooking everyone up. And the three of us. We had shelves of that. Oh, yeah. We drank out of those glasses for you.

many years. For years. Yeah, yeah. Hey, when you were working at that comedy club, do you remember when I did the worst prank phone call ever on you? It might have been so good I forgot about it entirely. What is it? I mean, hey, you're talking about my life, my career.

I had a friend who was an assistant. Why don't you cry about it? Well, love. Ooh, daddy-like. Come on. We do love you. You know, we remember you. Then let me talk. All right. All right. Okay. I was friends with an assistant to an agent who would always call you to, like, talk about comics and getting them on stage and shit like that. I was the gatekeeper, yes. And she called. I think I talked to Adam, and I go...

When you talked to him, somehow subtly dropped that you were hit by a cement truck as a kid. Oh, shit. Yeah, I do remember this. And then you were like, and I think I was on the line and you were like, wait, what? That's insane. I was hit by a cement truck as a kid. She was like, yeah, I was just like trying to get ice cream. And you're like, hang on a second. And then it got like.

It wasn't a good, it was just not fun. Yeah. It got too real. Yeah. Well, where do you go from there? Yeah. I've already won. Yeah. We're just trying to, we're trying to out cripple each other. Yeah. Yeah. I had, I had 60 surgeries. I had 60, 63. So that's crazy. I couldn't write for a year and a half. Well, mine was a solid two years of not being able to walk. How many bullies did you have? Cause I had quite a few. Cause I, cause you were the bully. Yeah. Cause I kicked them down the stairs. Yeah.

Because guess what? Turned on and said, I was the bully. I was the bully the whole time. Yeah, that was a fucking clutch. You had a clutch gig, man. I remember you called me because you were like, dude, if you can be here in 15 minutes, Chappelle's about to go up. And I saw Dave Chappelle perform for four hours until three in the morning. He used to hold the room hostage. And that was back when I fucking smoked Siggy's. And he would smoke on stage and it drove me nuts.

Oh, had you jonesing? I wanted to smoke so bad. And I was like, but he's smoking inside. Can I please light up? Well, that's when you should have just stepped outside briefly as my cigarette came back in. But he would roast you if you got up. He would call attention to you and be like, where are you going? And it's like, that's the last thing I wanted was Chappelle calling me up. Yeah, but that'd be your best story ever. I don't want that. I don't want that kind of shit, man. No way. Okay, fair enough. The very first time I...

I met Chappelle. I was hosting. I think this is the time that you guys are talking about. I was hosting the Saturday midnight show at the improv. And it was like a Christmas-themed show.

And I told like all the comics and stuff. I'm like, hey, if you guys want to wear like ugly Christmas sweater, that'd be hilarious. No one did. For sure no one did. And I show up in like a Christmas belly shirt, like a total asshole. And I'm hosting the thing. So, you know, I look like a dick. And then Chappelle comes and is like – this is, first of all, his first show back for –

from... He hadn't been back on the West Coast since he, like, disappeared and went to Africa after the whole Chappelle show situation. And so he came back and it was, like, a big deal that he was gonna be there. And, uh...

And he's like, hey, man, yeah, you mind if I get up? And I'm talking to him with, like, my belly hanging out, like, the cold gust of wind coming down the hallway and hitting and nips flaring up, you know, from the cold winter air. And I... I'm chubbing. You chubbing? Does it get your pecker heart, Kyle? You got me chubbing? Oh, yeah. It's fine.

Okay, it's my pecker hard. So anyways, I told him, I was like, hey, you can go on now and we could just bump everybody or you could go on in an hour and some people could go up and I'll just shorten their times and then you come back and close the shot. And he's like, I'll do that. And so he comes back in an hour and was on stage for like six hours. It was like a fully impressed. I couldn't imagine. I mean...

Just talking for six hours is exhausting, let alone like being cohesive. There were moments of funny, but everyone's waiting for like the best experience of their life. And his thing is he's like, I'm not giving you that. We're kicking it. Yeah, I feel like we were watching like True Therapy because he was coming back from like leaving Comedy Central and like.

Doing all that. And I remember him talking a lot about why he did that and what happened and what the real story was. And that was cool. Damn. But it wasn't necessarily funny. He just did that again like two weeks ago, right? Yeah, we helped him shape that 12 years ago. 10, 12 years ago. Oh, yeah, he did. He's got that commercetral demon. He's boycotting.

He's boycotting his own show is his angle right now because he didn't get paid for it. Yeah. Well, also, neither did we. Yeah. Yeah, I remember being like, wow, this is such a historical comedy event right now that's happening. Like, wow, look at this moment. And you're the host of the show, Adam. This is pretty cool, dude. And then I'm thinking that, like, while I'm in this fucking belly shirt. Fuck.

fully just drooping out the bottom. I'm like, God, I'm such a fucking asshole. Ugly Christmas sweaters. But then I was like, there's probably a talent scout in the audience right now. And if they're looking for ugly Christmas sweaters. Remember that though? When we were at the, you,

The SNL talent scouts came to see Bill Hader. Oh, that's right. Yes. And you were like, I need you to come here now and laugh super loud in the audience. I'm going to go up after Hader. And we saw Bill Hader do his fucking thing. He came out as like an Italian waiter. Yeah. From the kitchen. Yes. Who was, who I can also do impressions of people. So it was like a character doing characters. Pizza, pizza. Yeah.

And he killed it, and he was great. And then it was like, all right, keep it going for Adam Devine. And I saw all those talent scouts just fucking exit the room. They left so quickly. All right. You're going to want to stick around for this next guy. He's got that sauce. Hey, let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he's 22 and works the door. Did you see what you needed to see? Yeah, yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. He's got really funny Christmas sweaters.

Come on up. There's a gust of wind around his belly. Adam Devon.

Adam Devon. No, it's Devine, actually. Sadman Dovine. No, not Sadman. Just Adam. Where'd you get... It's Adam. That's a name everyone has. Wait, where'd you go? Saddam. Saddam the Bomb. It's not Adam. Saddam Devon. You know my name. Saddam Devon. Well, I think you know my name, actually, so...

Oh, man. So tight. That was a cool-ass job, though, because we would just get to kick it at the bar and chop it up with comedians, and it's fun. Yeah, what was cool is, like, I...

For the most part, it was a lot of me working the door, and then you guys would come in and drink, and then every 15 minutes, I could wander over to you and chop it up for two minutes, and then I'd have to be like, hold on real quick, and then have to go check someone's ID. Also, what was cool is we were so...

broke and impressionable that it would be like Dave Attell would come in and buy you a beer and you'd be like, oh my, that's like my favorite comedian now. He's a god. That's my dude for life. He is a god though. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. Admittedly, it's still cool. Yeah, totally. It was awesome. And what's cool about that gig is a lot of those guys, like it's hazy for them for sure, but they like put it together. They're like,

I saw Dave Attell like a year and a half ago in New York at the Comedy Cellar. And I went up right before him and had a really good set and then got off. And he comes out and I'm like, hey, Dave, Adam Devine, nice to meet you, man. He goes, we know each other, right? And I'm like, I actually used to work at the Hollywood Improv. You bought me and my friend – that night. I was like, you bought me and my friend's drinks. I think –

to make us leave you alone. And he's like, I thought you got, I thought you worked at the improv. He was like, I knew, I knew you worked at a comedy club. It goes a long way. And I'm like, that's cool. It's cool that they, people can remember shit like that because people come up to me and they're like, uh, we went to eight years of school together. And I'm like, cool. Uh, uh,

We did? Yeah, we grew up together. Our moms are best friends. I babysat you for 11 years. Not ringing any bells, though. I officiated your wedding. That's just your style, though, Adam. And that's when I go, right on, boss. See you, chief. Thanks, big dog. Oh, yeah, big dog. Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

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Dude, if I see somebody who I know I've met or whatever, and I do this all the time because I'm so bad with names. I mean, I'm sure listening to the podcast, you're like, this dude's brain doesn't work. But I always go, what's up? It's Anders. Always. Just to like set the table and hopefully, hopefully get a fucking name back so that I can go, yes, Roy, how are you?

Even if you already know their name, you do that? No, if I do or I don't, I just do it. So that's why it kind of can come off a little off-putting if you know the person and you're like, what's up, Anders? And it's like, yeah, we did this four days in a row. But then you say, yeah, I just didn't know you would remember me.

If it's been a while, obviously. Yeah, that's a very weird moment when you have to be like, hey, what is your name again? So I don't even want to give that to people. My gift to them is telling them my name so they don't have to worry about it. That is a nice thing. That is a nice thing that you are doing. That is a gift. But some people get really bent out of shape

If you don't remember them or they... To me, I'm like... I don't know. Like, people could just not know who the fuck I am. I'd be totally fine. If, like, I had met someone before and they were like, ah, sorry. I'm like, okay, that's fine. Yeah. Unless we, like, had the best time of our lives and they're like, but we...

We're blood brothers. Don't you have this scar? Yeah. We cut our hands and shook. Don't you have this scar? I do have that scar. Oh, fuck. The most brutal shit I heard was when somebody was like, this isn't the same kind of conversation. They're like,

You know what, though? If I don't remember you, you're not memorable. And I was like, ooh. Yeah, that's kind of wacky. Oh, it's wacky, but some people, even if it's at a fucking grocery store, if they come up to you and they're like, yo, what's up, man? You need some bananas? You're like, I'm good. They're like, well, cool. If you need anything, I'm Daniel. And they walk away, and you go...

Every time you go to the grocery store, you're like, Daniel, Daniel, you know it. And then some people are like, they could be the most important person to your like career. And like you meet them and you're like,

uh fuck i can't remember his name what's his name what's his name because he was just not so true like even in like studio executives in our business like i do not remember them at all but actors and people with personality it's like hell yeah what's up how are you or an executive with a personality who you're like oh yeah totally what's up so you're saying you gotta have a lot of fun uh

finger guns. If you wear like a cape or an ascot or you just have a really fun scarf in the summer, uh,

But then you end up just calling that person Scarf Guy. Oh, shit. Scarf Man. Scarf Guy is just as cool as the name because you're remembering and now you have a pet name. So it's like Scarf Guy, Big Scarf. Right, but then you get to that point where they're like, yeah, we're winning a place in Big Bear. Do you want to get there this weekend? You're like, yeah, for sure. They name all these people you want to be there with and then like,

three days into the weekend, you're just like, yo, I don't know your name. What is Scarf Guy's name? The worst thing is when you go on that trip somehow and you're somewhere and they see what their name is in your phone and it's like, I'm fucking Scarf Guy? Oh, please tell a story. I don't have one. Yeah, like Tyler Big Dog. This isn't that funny, but I don't have one. The name of the guy who owns the company that cleans my pool is

is named Rich. So the other day I got a call in front of somebody and it just came up as Rich Pool Guy. Rich Pool Guy. They're like, oh, you know a rich person with a pool? It's a guy. And I was like, his name is Rich. His company cleans my pool. Shout out to Rich. Shout out to Rich Pool Guy. Good job. Years of great service. Big shout out to Rich. Rich Pool Guy.

That's a good rap name, too. Well, Chloe, my fiancee to this day is Chloe Final Girls in my phone. Oh, really? Because I met her on the set of the movie The Final Girls. And now she's the final girl. Whoa. She is the final girl. Oh, I never put that together. No.

Now she's the final girl. Oh, my gosh. Take that S out, bro. Exactly. No more plural, man. You got a singular now. Oh, my God. Yo, put that in your vows. You got to. Durs, that's great. Just so everybody knows, she's Chloe Final Girl forever in my phone now. Forever. Dude.

That's unreal. I show everyone. And look, here it is. I'm going to get the projector out real quick. If we could work the IT. Oh, you plug it in and do a PowerPoint? Yeah. And then you show people as you do it live. Oh, cool. Oh, he's subtracting the S. I would love to see like trying to work the Apple TV. You're like mirror screen. Hang on a second, guys, because it is on my phone. Just let me...

Does anyone is it Bluetooth or Wi-Fi? How does it connect? He accidentally deletes the whole final girls. He's like, Chloe, what's your number? Wait, what? Final girl. Okay, fuck. The fuck is your number? Gotta upgrade my phone. iOS. The worst is when you like know someone for years and like don't know their last name. You just know them by like specifically one of my best friends fiance now. Uh,

His now fiance, it was just Zach's girlfriend. Chelsea, Zach's girlfriend in the phone. And for years, I did not know her last name. Yeah, which is...

Well, we can't say it on the show. You can't say it on the show. Allegedly field. Allegedly. The other thing that I have, that's a problem. And I don't know if it's just our biz or LA or whatever, but a lot of my homies, I just know by their like Instagram handles. Oh, it's like, I don't know their real names. You're such a millennial. No, I swear to God. I was at a party a few years ago. And, uh, do you know Shane West? Yeah.

Shane West. Sure. Handsome actor. Yeah. Handsome actor guy. Uh, he was in like a walk to remember with, uh, Mandy Moore. My high school girlfriend made me watch it all the time. Anyways. So I like, I'm at a party at his house and I know him like fairly well. We've, I've, we've been at parties together before we've gotten drunk together. I'm like, yeah, we know each other. And he introduced me to someone. This is like years ago. And he was, he was like, Hey, I want to introduce you to someone. And I'm like, okay. And he's like, uh,

Andy, this is Eric or whoever the fuck he was introducing me to. And I'm like, what's that? He's like, yeah, Andy Bovine. Dude, so have you seen Workaholics? And I'm like, I stopped him in his tracks. I'm like, motherfucker, do you? I'm like, you think my name is Andy Bovine? And he's like, yeah.

and i go my name's adam divine and he goes oh i thought that was your stage name right on the show my name is saddam debon like you thought my stage name was andy boat have you ever heard of the last name bovine that's a fucking insane last name it was a family name uh i come from a long line of cattle unreal your

You're from the Midwest, right? Isn't that like where they come from? It kind of adds up. Yeah, I guess when you break it down. That's wild. Yeah, you know what? I'm going back to it.

I just, Instagram gave me Adam Devine. I couldn't take it. I like went with Andy Bovine and... Wait, sorry. The handle Adam Devine was already taken when you got Instagram? Yeah. Yeah, okay. And so somebody else had it. Was there another Adam Devine at some point, like a redhead that had more IMDB credits than you? Yeah. He no longer... Oh.

He no longer... Do we want to get into that? I mean, it just sprung in my memory. I don't know. You can finish your story by IG, but who was that guy? Oh, well, he was Adam Devine, and he was a SAG actor, Screen Actors Guild. Oh.

Which, you know, before I was in the Screen Actors Guild. So then when I joined, I could either be Adam Devine II on IMDb or whatever. It would give you like a number two. It would give me like a number two. And I'm like, well, fuck that. And so I was like, what if I capitalize my V?

Adam Devine with the capital V and they're like, yeah, okay. Then you'd be Adam Devine. And so for years, everyone is like, and then my family is going like, wait, do you capitalize it? Did you grow up capitalizing the V? No. Oh my God. I thought you, I thought that's what you were always saying. Capitalize the V. It was because that was your family name. No, no, no. It was because of this fucking redhead Adam Devine actor guy. Yeah.

Dude, honestly, I thought like, what? Still to this day, I get people that will just capitalize the V. And now, you know, it's just a thing that like irks me when it shouldn't because it doesn't matter at all. But I'm just like, that's not how you do it. But right. Yeah. Damn. So now are you capitalized or are you back with the lowercase?

My career has gone better than Redhead Adam Devine, and I've reclaimed the lowercase v. Yeah. You got it, dude. Yeah. That's huge to me. I remember we used to sit around the fire at night and just talk shit on that dude. Sorry, bro. Sorry, dude. But my homie needed the IMDB, all right? Sorry, bro. Fuck you, asshole. Fuck you, asshole.

Let me just say this. The fact that we're putting this out there in the ether, that dude, it's going to come back to him and he's going to fucking work so hard. He's going to just charge for you. I hope so. No, no, no, no. And you guys are going to star in a movie together. Oh.

He's going to be number one on the call sheet. Starring Adam Devine's. No, actually, fuck that guy because I tried to buy his website at adamdevine.com. He was doing nothing with it. It was like a nothing page.

You're charging him. You're charging him up. Got him. Yeah, he's coming for you. Before Workaholics, I tried to get it, and he was like, I'll sell it to you for like $5,000 or something. And I'm like, well, I don't have five grand. Like, that's a lot for me to spend at the time. And then after Workaholics, I went back to him like after maybe season one or two, and I'm like, hey, can I get that? And he was like, $100,000. Dude, supply and demand, bro. Smart, dude. And I'm like –

Yeah. I'm pissed now. Come get that shit. Come get that shit. He's a fucking business shark. Well, that's where if Tito Ortiz was the governor of IMDB, you guys could have fought for it. Man, solid callback, dude. Yeah, not forced at all. So glad we're back to that, dude. Really organic. Just going to vote him into the...

Governor of IMDB.com. Is there a president of IMDB? I'm sure. There's got to be. It's a company, right? Yeah. I would like to maybe make a... MyMBD. That's him? I am? It's a woman. It's a woman. Oh, my bad. Durs, are you...

ever coming home? You're still in New York City, right? Yeah, what the fuck? Diarrhea! Guys, I was just gonna tell you I'm coming home tomorrow. That's why I'm popping some bubbly. Cheers! There you go. Blake, what was that one? It was about diarrhea. What is that? Is that the

You're popping bubbly? Yeah, I'm in my hotel room and I'm having some Perrier Joet Grand Brew. Damn, I would love to join you. You're drinking champagne alone in your hotel room? He's celebrating. I'm with my friends. I'm with three of my best friends. Yeah, baby. He's celebrating, dude. That is true. Let me just be clear. I would have drank it anyway, but...

I'm fucking Zooming with my homies. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I rapped. I'm a rap dog, so... Oh, you're done? Oh, yeah, right, because you're flying tomorrow. I rapped an hour and a half ago. That's awesome. Congratulations, Anders. I bet that feels great. Oh, that probably feels great. Yeah, that's a good feeling. Speaking of IMDB, it's going to be on there soon. Stack it up. Blake, what are you sipping on up there, brother? Well, yeah, I would love to join you, but as you guys may recall, I'm having a December 2, remember? So I got to...

A delicious Old Milwaukee. Okay. An Old Milwaukee what? Old Milwaukee N.A. Non-alcoholic. N.A. Yeah, you gotta say that. Okay, well, it's America's non-alcoholic near beer. A near beer. That's right. Near beer. I like that. How's it going, dude? How's the December to remember? What's up? It's pretty boring. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we're getting through it.

Okay. I think I'm going to have to break it tomorrow, though. Nice. Me and Adam are doing, like, some whiskey thing. Okay. Wait, what? So you're just going to break it? Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not, like, straight edge or anything. He doesn't care.

Dude, straight edge! You gotta get the fucking X-Tats on your hands. Well, if I ever go full, like, I'm out the game, yeah, I'm going straight edge for damn. You kind of have to. At least you're part of a cool team at that point. Right, at least you have friends. Yeah. Oh, look, Adam. Now Adam wants to drink alone.

Okay, are you popping some bub? Are you at the crib solo? No, Chloe's downstairs, and I'm going to work out after this, but I figured I'm not going to let my boy drink alone, you know? He's not drinking alone. I have Old Milwaukee near beer. Well, that is, you're not drinking. Guys, I got my crystal geyser right up here.

I'm staying drated over here. Oh, shit, yo. Kyle's getting drated. Getting crazy over here. You know it. That a boy. That a boy. Staying hydrated. Got to drink the water. That's how it goes down. Hey, does coffee dehydrate you? Because I've been mad thirsty for water lately. I think coffee is a laxative, so you might be shitting water out.

Yeah. Diuretic. Now, I haven't been shitting more. Oh, by the way, I put the tushy on. We finally got the tushy. I finally placed the tushy on. I needed to get larger bolts to secure the seat onto my toilet. Sounds intense.

How are the grips on it? Yeah, bolt that shit down. I'm bolting it down, dude. Because I don't know about you guys, but I have like a nice thick ass. And so like... You know about... Wait, you said you don't know about us? Yeah, you've seen our asses. I'm pretty sure you know about all of our butts. I got a good ass. Mine's thick. Yeah, you got a nice ass. Yeah. Well, it's not nice. It's thick. I don't know if it's nice. Yeah, it's...

big the best one of our group is blake for sure he's got the highest booty yeah he's got the highest booty second ders get the get the fuck out of here second ders third is adam and fourth i'll take up the rear that is a wildly wrong statement for sure i have the best ass the best ass out of all of us that's bullshit i don't mean to get aggressive about this but like that's bullshit the

The second closest is Blake's ass. Blake has a nice ass. I'm pissed now. It's a high booty. I've got a squatter's booty. Rotund. Wait, if I was going to say I need an ass in a movie, like a stunt ass, and I'm going to light by the moonlight like Emilio Estevez in whatever that movie is. A jock ass.

athletic ass that you're like, that you shoot it from the side. It has a beautiful profile. I'll tell you who I'm casting first. I'm casting Blake. Right. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? Hands down. Offer only. I'm not even having him read for the part. I'm fucking casting him, bro. Kyle, guess what? You're off the project. No, Adam. I'm doing the casting. You're off the project. No, no, no, no. You're off the project. You can go on Workaholics and look at our butts side by side, Adam.

Honestly, second choice. Second choice. Blake's not available. He's already got a gig showing his ass in the moonlight somewhere. I'm going straight to Ders. And Ders isn't really reading either. I'm going right to his people and offering him the part. Thank you. Now, Ders is not available.

It's tough if I'm going to step in myself or if I'm going to call you. Are you kidding? Both of us are doing this side by side because your ass isn't dumpy. Dude, it's not dumpy. I don't know. Maybe it used to be dumpier. I don't mean to talk shit on it. I'm going to take that back early. I've been riding 100 plus miles a week. I've been doing a lot of leg work.

I'm racked and stacked down here. I am a fitness influencer. I've been doing legs three times a week. My shit is rock solid right now. I would stack my ass up with... Do you think it might just be a little much, Adam? Oh, too much dude. No, we're in 2020, Anders. There's no such thing as a little much anymore. The Kardashians are the queen bees, okay?

And their asses are the fucking size of the moon. Tell me about Rob Kardashian's ass real quick. I don't know. I'm not. I'm talking. My ass is. Hello.

Yeah.

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I have a female, a beautiful female's ass. And what are we casting, Kyle? What are we casting? That is wildly incorrect. Yeah, wait, what are we casting? We haven't even, what is the project? Obviously it's a gay porno. Hello? No, I'm actually saying, what's the movie where, like Mel Gibson in fucking Lethal Weapon, you know what I mean? Where he stands in the fucking trailer and you got the shot of the ass.

Adam, relax. You have the gay porno on lockdown. We know that. It's all good, but Adam's just delusional about this. I'm not delusional. He's an influencer. He's influencing himself. I'm a fitness influencer. He's delusional, dude. I can't let this happen. I'm sorry, Kyle. I think your casting choices are way off base.

They've gotten me where I am today, so I think I know what I'm doing. We've established that I'm the one that gets all the gay guys flooding my DMs wanting to see my thick every day, talking about my thick, juicy booty and how it makes their fucking mouths water. And these guys don't get that same love. So if we're talking about...

needing men to judge other men's booties, I feel we should go to the gay men fans and see what they have to say, okay? I don't get a lot of gay guys. I get women in the DMs, but I don't get a lot of gay guys. Why don't we just have women judge these booties? I feel like the women are going to go to Blake first. I'm making this shot. This shot isn't necessarily for gay dudes. This shot is for women. And Blake's hair, when it's wet, probably goes all the way down to the crack and just kind of like leads your eyes. That.

is correct. It's fantastic. And I'm saying that from, I'm saying that from like an art perspective. Bumblebee tuna. Not from anything really sexual. Like an artistic perspective, Blake wins. Bumblebee tuna. I guess that's where we're not, we're shooting a hardcore gay porno. Well, that's not what I'm making. I'm saying my ass is the star.

You know how the Seinfeld reunion was on Curb Your Enthusiasm in a fun, weird way that they were like, oh, it's not going to be Seinfeld. It's going to be on Curb. The Workaholics reunion is just going to be a gay porno. And we're going to fuck each other and be like, but it's funny because it wasn't a Workaholics episode. See how creative we are? Jillian, good news. We can shoot you out in a day. Come on in, Big Eric Griffin. We got you. Jillian delivers a pizza.

Yeah. Yeah. Do we have crickets? Yeah. I'm off the project. Oh, yeah. He took himself off. He took himself off the project. That's OK. I'm telling you, you haven't seen my ass in a long time. It is rock solid right now. It is. But I know it's still I know your cheeks are still longer than Blake's. Blake's is taut.

There's no way your cheeks shrunk. Right, right, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? They look like hams. They look like hams. Yeah, two delicious hams. Two delicious... Long hams. They look like two long hams. Hams that have been left out in the sun. Blake's butt has a narrowness to it that's pleasant. Right. Adam, yours is like a squarishness that does look formidable. It's formidable, for sure. For sure.

He has a formidable ass. I just don't know if it's appetizing. No, I think it is. I think it is appetizing. I think if we were, there's the most meat there. And I'm talking about the good meat. I'm not talking about the fatty. A butt steak. Wagyu steak. I'm talking about like just a nice, juicy. Oh, come on. Hawk, hawk, hawk. You realize that you're the only one defending your own ass here, dude. Like everybody's in agreement. You have a formidable hiney.

Dude, I'm saying, no one's saying it's not formidable. Your hiney is not the star, okay? Oh. Well, if we're just going butt-to-butt comparison...

Just butt to butt. That's all I'm doing. Okay. That's all I'm doing. I'm not talking about how you act in a gay porno. Can we post butts on Instagram or is that? I think we can. Do we have to take this to an OnlyFans? No, no. If we put on thongs, we could do it. Let's start an OnlyFans. I think Ders is actually going to be the sleeper winner if we did that. I really think that. I appreciate that. But wait, Adam, let me just circle back to when Adam just said, are we only talking about butts? Yeah.

Yes. What do you think we're talking about? Like as opposed to like butts and what thighs? Well, I'm talking about like, no, I'm talking about hair situation. I'm talking all it's all about hair. I mean, do we want to break it down by category as far as like, I'm saying you slide these ham hocks into some tight jeans and you shoot it from the left. Like profile. Yeah. Your profile. I'm talking a nude bod.

butt. Oh, so you're shooting a nude butt and you were talking about Lethal Weapon with him in jeans and now you're talking about a nude butt. No, no, no, no. You know the shot I'm talking about when he wakes up naked and it's like he's like contemplating suicide, like he's popping roach in it. You know what I mean? It's lit very blue. It's a moonlight walk. It's pre-coital. Oh, dude, my ass looks good in blue. Blue's my color. Is it pre-

It's pre-coital, right? Or post? Oh, is it pre? It might be post. You know what? I might be thinking of Loaded Weapon, the send-up with Emilio Estevez. Well, that's really what I'm talking about here because that's where they did it perfectly. It's like the perfect ass for Emilio Estevez. And for you guys at home, Loaded Weapon was a...

not Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez spoof of Lethal Weapon and other movies like that in the 90s that we would constantly reference in the Workaholics writer's room as our kind of, you know, the top of the totem pole of comedy. Well, I think what it was poking fun at was the fact that, Adam, in the 90s, there was a lot of movies. Hey, it's my friend Blake in the 90s Anderson. In the 90s.

It seemed like every movie where it was like a leading man, they had the gratuitous butt shot. Yes. Van Damme got it. Van Damme got it. Gibson got it. I'm saying I've had gratuitous butt shots in movies already. Wait, you've been fired off of a commercial for your butt. Let's keep it real. Dude, that's before.

Honestly, what is going on? First of all, I had more body fat at that time by a lot. Now I'm... And that's a bad thing? Are you fat shaming? I'm fat shaming myself. And I was fatter then. It didn't look good. It did not look good in those...

Dockers that they strapped me in for the Domino's commercial. Yeah, I got fired because of my fat ass in a Domino's commercial. Maybe this is why you're not hearing us because that moment stung so bad, bro. You're triggering the time. You're fucking like, you cannot hear this. For those of you at home, the clapping sound is Adam's butt cheeks.

Kyle, that was almost 15 years ago, my man. That is a lifetime ago. I've been doing lots of squats. I'm not saying you don't take care of yourself. Dude, I'm saying you saw me nude. I'm your friend. I'm a fitness influencer now. I am your friend. I'm your friend, Adam. I'm your friend, and I'm telling you this. Hey, can I just say, I think, hang on.

Hang on. This is tough. I'm just trying to hold my ground. Hang on. I said out of the four of us, I just ranked the four of us. That's all I did. I didn't say your butt can't be shot by a film camera. Hang on. I'm just saying out of the four of us, I'm casting Blake, offer only. A film camera. Ders is right up there. You, I'm not stoked about.

You're making me audition for the part? Is that what you're saying? Pull your fucking butt out. Let's go. Let's go. All right, let's see the butt. Why are we talking about posting it later? Let's see this shit. Look at him clench it, dude. Look at him. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah. Wait.

It doesn't really have that much... It doesn't have shape. I'm sorry. It doesn't go out much. Yeah, dude. Where does your butt cheek end and your thigh start? I think you... Well, now you're trying to show your dink, but I think you damn near bike rode your ass off, dude. I think it was a bad angle. I don't think...

I think it was a bad angle right there. I admit, I saw my ass in the monitor and it wasn't... It wasn't what you remember, huh? I can tell you exactly where the difference is and I'm spotted. I can tell you. You want to see it?

It's at the bottom of your ass, dude. It's your crevasse. It's the spot where your cheek meets your thigh. It's not defined. Blake's is defined, so I know where the butt starts from the bottom up. Oh, really? Let's see Blake's ass. My ass? I already got the part. Yeah, he's offer only. He's already signing contracts, doggy. Hey, I'm making my own film. I'm making my own film. You're starting it, I guess. No, I'm not. I'm casting. I want to see what's out there.

I think you're going to cast somebody and then fire them when it comes down to shooting because you want it so bad. I think he's casting a sequel to Free Solo, climbing up a flat mountain of meat like that there. Hey, now. Admittedly, I feel that that was not my best showing. Just kind of the angle wasn't really working for me, and I feel –

You can change up the angle. I'd be happy to workshop another angle. Can we get the DP in here? I'll give you four weeks. By the way, I want to give you four weeks, and I'm sure we can have a screenshot of that before. And in four weeks, let's see what we're dealing with here. In one month, I'm coming back.

And you will see. I'm telling you. Well, you're going to have to completely change your fitness regimen. You're going to have to go full honey buns and squats.

That's fine. He's an influencer. That's fine. It's like you don't even know my lifestyle. My lifestyle is fitness, Blake. It's all I do. I understand that. All day, every day. I wake up and my eyes snap open and I'm like, how do I better myself and influence those around me? That's all I'm thinking as a fitness influencer. While you're doing that, you are losing the ass that you have in your mind. I think Blake's right. You might be working it all away. You might be, you might be, it might be falling off, man.

You're chipping away at Mount Rushmore. Yeah. I'm peddling the meat off. Right. You might have had a better butt 15 years ago in that commercial. Oh, wow. Wow. And they were overwhelmed. They were like, whoa, we can't handle this. People will start fucking their TVs. Yeah.

Yeah! You can't do that. They'll get too horny. That makes sense. You have to slim your thighs down. Does that make you feel better? First of all, Kyle, no, I don't, dude. I just saw it. My thighs are fucking awesome, dude. Big thighs. You have to slim them down if your ass is going to be that small. If my ass is... Now I have a small ass? Get the fuck out of here, dude. You have no bottom definition, homeboy. Shut the fuck up!

That is insane. It was a bad angle. It was shot for the- All good. Look, these are just, these are thoughts. You know what I mean? That's it. Take them or leave them. That's an opinion. Yeah, those are my opinion. And I love you. Okay. Obviously, Kyle has a vision for this movie. You know, we're not in his head, but you know. Yeah. It just came down to it. All right.

Done. Oh, man. That's good. What's up, Durz? What's on your mind, buddy? I just feel bad for Adam because I know the pride that he takes in his butt. No, it's okay. And I just don't... I honestly...

Don't know who he is without it. It's fine. Well, here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. Adam pulls down his pants and shows us his butt, and we're like, okay, Blake got the part, Ders got the part, but hey, pull down your pants and turn around. And you got the best dick. We filmed it. You know what I mean? Yeah. We filmed it. It's the best dick we've filmed. You can't have it all. It's like you just... You can. You can. You can. You just can't, bro. No.

Like, your dick is a part of one of the best scenes we've ever filmed as a crew. That is true. That's one of the best scenes. Netflix. I would put that whole sequence of events. We're talking Game Over Man. Game Over Man, the movie we made for Netflix where a hotel got taken over. We were the maids. We had to save the day in a diehard type way. Taken over by terrorists. Taken over by terrorists. And there's a scene where terrorists are coming into the hotel room that –

Blake, Adam and I, our characters are in and we have to scramble and Adam's character comes up with an idea where

He will pretend to be a guy who's dead in a closet from autoerotic asphyxiation. And while they're distracted looking at Adam, who was fully fucking naked in this movie, Blake and I attack, but then the terrorists turn out to be lovers. They start fucking, and the whole plan goes south. As they do. As they do. And I would say that I would put that whole sequence up against anything else on Netflix. It's better.

He's the best. Without a doubt, that is the funniest scene out of any comedy that I've seen in the past five years, for sure. The funniest scene. It's truly a laugh riot by definition. But then you see –

My ass from the side. And you're like, God damn, that is something else. That is a booty. Well, you see your nuts and taint from the front, from the best possible angle. You do see my nuts and taint. You see your whole entire dick. You see your balls. You see your grundle.

And we shot it all. And you did put it out there, man. And you fucking earned that shit, player. You really did. Because when we wrote it, we didn't think that we would be shooting it in such a way that it would be so fully frontal. And then we really went for it. So gratuitous. Yeah.

Yeah, I was planning on having a prosthetic dick, and when we got into pre-production and Adam finally came out and we were about to shoot, I said, Adam, look, I got him building this prosthetic dick. What do you think? And he's like, Kyle, I've made peace with the world. I'm going to show them my dick. I said, all right. I wanted to show... Powerful.

the world my dick. Yeah, and I took that cue and I shot the shit out of it. I get it. I get it. You guys are appeasing me because you were just, for lack of a better term, shitting on my ass. Okay. Yeah.

You were shitting on my ass. Diarrhea with shit on top. And so you gave me compliments to my dick. And I understand that you know that I needed that because I do hang my hat on my ass. Well, don't make us feel bad about it. You should really be hanging your hat on your dick, bro. Are you saying thank you or are you saying no thank you? No, no, no. I'm not saying anything. I appreciate what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. I think you were pretty clear. We were shitting on your ass, so we glorified your dick. Okay.

Yeah, and I do appreciate that. But you cannot work out your dick. And as a fitness influencer who takes great pride in his gluteus maximus. You're really running with that. Is there anything, a such thing as a dickness influencer? Where like everything you post is about your dick and like treating it right and like getting it to like be its best? Should I do that? Absolutely. Yeah.

Like a dick care? Like a self-care, but only for your penis? Only about your dick. Like how to keep the skin right, how to get it bigger, how to keep it going, how to manscape and all that. Is manscape a thing? Well, that could be a spinoff of Manscape, one of our sponsors. It could be the sequel to Kyle's movie that he's shooting. I don't know the plot exactly, but...

What, with the butt shot? Yeah, the gratuitous butt shot. My butt shot into Ders'... Yeah, we're going to start with the butt shot, and we're going to pretty much just feel it out from there. No, I want to be in the sequel, because you said you're going to give the first one to Blake, right? And then I'll be in the sequel as like the new butt on the scene. And then I'll be like the home video version where it's not even streaming. You have to get a VHS. Yeah.

You're Home Alone 3, where it's different bad guys and a different kid, and you're like, what is this? It's just not the same movie at all. Yeah. Oh.

Somebody got the rights to the butts, but it's not the same character. I like Stats. Is there any compliments, take backs? I'm sorry. There's no way it's already time for that. Yeah, it is. Yeah, what? Adam's calling it. He's bailing, man. I feel like we still have a good four minutes left, but hey. Oh, my God. This dude's ready to rock. I get it.

I get it. So we're taking it back. Wait, we take, yeah, take backs, compliments, and apologies. Kyle. What? Do you have any take backs? Oh, man. Wow, you're fishing for it, huh? No, I'm not. I'm just saying. Do you have any take backs, compliments, or apologies? Compliments, or apologies.

Or apologies. Me? Take backs, backsides. You know, let me think. Let me walk back through it. What did we talk about again? What were the things that I might have to be taken back? No, sir. I don't like it. It's fine.

What was this here? I guess I'd like to take back what I said about Dave Chappelle and said he wasn't funny sometimes. He was funny the whole time. It was an honor to watch him. That's a big endorsement. He wasn't funny for four hours, bro. I was sitting right there. It was an honor to watch him up there. I just don't want people to get the wrong idea. I'm not saying it wasn't an honor. It was fucking sick.

Cause he hadn't shown his face forever and we were there, but the anticipation of waiting for like the funniest thing you've ever seen just never happened. And, uh, it wasn't funny all the time. And I guess he still is not like, he still is. He's riding that wave now. He's got a nice ass. He does. Yeah. That's a great ass. Fantastic. Probably a great, probably a great dick. But I guess in terms of other take backs, uh,

Yeah, I'm not seeing any. I'm not feeling any really. You don't have compliments on anybody? No compliments or anything?

Compliment to Blake's ass, definitely. Just I'll do that again. No doubt. Yeah. And compliment to Durz's ass, too, because it's really good as well. Appreciate it. Perfect. Beautiful stuff. Beautiful stuff. And Adam, compliments to your dick, dude. Compliments to your dick. Straight up. Yeah. Straight up. Compliments to your dick, homie. Compliment to Adam for pulling his fucking butt out. Yeah. That was good. You know, even though it didn't pan out the way he was hoping...

I got something for this bang-bang later. Yeah, you do. You know what I mean? Just alone in a hotel room, drinking a little champagne. I don't think maybe Kyle isn't into female CrossFaders bodies because that's basically what I have. You know that he is. I don't think he is. He must not be. He must like them squishier, you know, not as chiseled and defined. And that's okay.

And I'd like to compliment your specific taste, and that works for you.

And I just want to kind of compliment Kyle and his vision. It's just always so clear what he wants, and it's just I commend you because you always paint the picture, and as much as I don't have a script, I don't know much about it, but I see what you're going for, and I think you picked the right guy, and I appreciate you. Awesome. Yeah, you always go off of an emotional feeling, you know, an animal instinct of what is true. Uh-huh.

And you didn't disappoint today, and I appreciate that. Thank you. I'd like to compliment Durzee on drinking champagne alone in his hotel room. Yeah, that is big. Maybe the last type of alcohol that I would drink just on its own. Solo. But big, big shouts out to you rapping today, and that is quite the celebratory drink. Compliment to Durzee rapping. Why is it the last? What do you...

Because there's hard alcohol in here. But I was like, am I really going to start slamming vodka? And then there's beer. But I'm like, beer schmear. I know that they always – there's always like a decent whiskey in hotel room bars. And that's what I would probably drink. There's a Dewars and there's a Maker's Mark Little Dog.

Yeah, I'd probably drink those. Yeah, but those are in my asshole right now. Bully. That's why you wouldn't show us your ass earlier. What's that little melted wax cap hanging out of your asshole? It's a Maker's Mark Mini. It was something from on set. It's a funny on set prank.

Well, I will – and I also compliment Adam in not really coming after Blake or I about our butts and saying that his is better than ours. He was just – you were tooting your own horn, and hey, you were big up in yourself. I appreciate that. Not in a bad way. I will never say that I don't have a great ass. I truly believe that I have a stellar –

Rick. I truly believe that my, my dick. I disagree with my dick. I think my dick is perfectly fine. Love baby. My ass is an, is an a plus ass. And you could disagree with that. I also think, Hey, I'm in great company because Blake and Ders have great music.

meaty, nice looking asses. See, now the perspective is what you should be looking at. Exactly. Because there's four of us on the call. I'm saying I'm in great company here. Kyle, I don't think your ass is in our sort of realm of amazing. I know this. And I put myself last. I said, I'm happy to bring up the rear.

Okay. That's funny. That is funny. Thank you. I'm happy. I'm not even in it. I think the people at home are going to be glad that we brought up the rear on this episode of This is Important. All right. See you soon. Hear that? Pumpkin.

That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather, it's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

That's F.

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