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Ep 251: Gavin. Rossdale.

2025/6/3
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This Is Important

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Anders Holm: 今天是我的生日,我44岁了。我希望我们都能活到69岁。我在洗澡时想到了活到69岁的事情。我们在《工作狂》里有一个角色叫“69 Man”。我们的节目太棒了,也许我们可以做一个伴随播客,我们可以扮演从未看过我们节目,而且不是我们的角色,来谈论这个节目有多好笑。我们可以打扮成Gen Alpha世代的人,然后说我们听说这个节目很好笑。我觉得这个家伙很有魅力。有些青少年播客比我们做得好多了,这让我有点失望。我只是在说一些随便的孩子,他们有麦克风,坐在地下室的沙发上。这些孩子们只是坐在那里谈论食物,他们的谈话很纯粹,但作为成年人,你可能会觉得无聊。我们谈论的事情非常有趣和重要,我们基本上是一个新闻频道。我们的内容非常深奥,需要听很多遍才能理解。我们的播客内容非常密集,与其他播客不同。这些孩子们的播客有数百万的听众,他们和Rogan争夺霸主地位。我觉得这些孩子中会有人在20岁之前去世。我们不应该这样说这些孩子,我们应该给他们送花。这些孩子们的父母最好能管好他们。你是否也收到这些算法推送的视频?有些视频会展示一些明星赚了多少钱,然后展示一些开箱视频的孩子赚了更多。有些孩子通过制作YouTube视频赚了很多钱。也许是时候拥抱未来,尝试新的赚钱方式了。我们进入电影和电视行业的时候,它们正在衰落。我们投资了电视和电影,但互联网却起飞了,我们完蛋了。 Adam: (讨论AI,红光疗法,疼痛,以及其他话题) Blake: (讨论AI,网络红人,以及其他话题)

Deep Dive

Chapters
The podcast starts with a birthday celebration for Anders Holm, turning 44. They discuss the possibility of creating a companion podcast where they rewatch their show Workaholics, and compare it to the success of other podcasts, particularly one by articulate young food critics.
  • Anders Holm's 44th birthday
  • Idea for a Workaholics rewatch podcast
  • Comparison to successful food-based podcasts

Shownotes Transcript

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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom-line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This is Important... I deep-throated some hot dogs, and I was so good at it. Who was that nobody that just made me come standing here? The goddamn huge fucking flawless dude. He's the perfect meat mountain. ♪

Buckle up. Woo! Yeah, baby! Happy birthday to you. Anders Holm, everybody. This is your birthday. Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Blake. Yes. Wow, dude. How does it feel to celebrate, what is it, 69, dude? 44. Happy birthday.

Yeah. 44, dude? Damn, you're old as dirt. Do you think all of us are going to make it to 69? Dude, I hope so. I was thinking about it in the shower the other day. I hope. I hope. I make it to 69. I hope we all do. You were thinking of living to 69 in the shower? Yes. Why? Why?

You know, I was more thinking about how we had a character on Workaholics called 69 Man. Wait, did we? Who was that? It was, I don't know what episode it was, but we like asked the dude how old he is and he says he's 69 and we like flip out and we're like, oh, you're 69, man. Yeah.

69, man. And I was just like, God, that is good television right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, our show is so good. Our show is so good. I might have to do a rewatch. Yeah. God damn. Yeah, we should go back and rewatch. Man. You know what would be fun? Maybe we do a companion podcast. That would be fun. And we just do a rewatch. That would be fun. That would be fun.

That'd be really fun. That could be really fun. Oops. Winning. Look what we just did, dude. Yeah. We just gave ourselves another job. Holy shit. And do we do it as characters who've never seen the show before and that aren't us? And essentially talk about how good and funny it is? Yeah, we do like super in-depth character dives and then we watch it. But we dress as like

Gen alphas. And we're like, we're going to watch this show. We heard it's funny. Our dads used to watch it. We're like, I hear it's Ohio, but it could be skibbity-toilet. Skibbity? Yeah. I'm not sure. Yeah! What the hell-y? Okay, two minutes in. Feeling pretty rizzful. Tons of rizz on this guy. It's all rizz up. I feel like the Rizzler when I got to the end of the episode.

This one's five boons. You guys have seen these podcasts with tweens, right? Oh, dude. The food guy. Food boys, baby. They are so much better than us at podcasting. It's embarrassing. It actually really kind of disappoints me because they're so talented. Wait, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm just talking about random kids that have microphones and sit around on the couch in the basement and they're like, what'd you think of the new fucking Star Wars microphone?

movie you're probably talking about these guys yes it's like these three kids okay no I think there's five of them oh they're you're right but they're like fully articulate youngsters yes and they they these these kids sit around and they just talk about food it's very food based and

And they're like, so what is your favorite burger? Yeah. I would say McDonald's. McDonald's is my favorite burger. Right. Have you had Five Guys? Yeah, yeah. I think this is them. Yeah. Have you had Five Guys? Oh, yeah. Five Guys is pretty good. Yeah. And that's all it is. And it's infinitely better than anything that we've ever done. It's incredible. It's so pure. What's crazy is as an adult, you're like...

very bored by their conversations but like for them and kids their age they're like these are the conversations they're having adam's just like fucking chomping at the bit what like what they're gonna say next the things we talk about are really entertaining and important right i mean we're obviously very this is all very important but yes yeah yeah we're like a news we're basically a news fucking channel dude but you know sometimes i feel like when you listen to us

it's, we get so heady and we so get in the weeds with these topics. Oh yeah. You need to reprieve from that. And so you go over to the food boys and you just hear them talk about like their favorite types of cheese and what, and what they like cheese on. Yeah. I think it's, it's well established that like you don't even really get our episodes until three, four, five listens in. Oh,

of the same episode. Oh, yeah. It's very dense. It's very, very dense. Super heady, super dense. It's dense in a way that other podcasts aren't dense. Yes, we're very specifically dense. Oh, good for you. Yeah, but those guys, those guys are surface level and I feel like they appeal to

Just so... Oh, they're incredible. They're so good. And what is crazy is their podcast gets, I want to say, hundreds of millions. It's them and Rogan right now battling for supremacy. Yeah. I believe. In my world, according to my algorithm, that's what's happening. No, you're right. You are right. You are right.

You are right. Smartless has dropped. They are making private jet money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their own cruise ship type money. And what are they going to do with it? Imagine the food they're going to have on. Cocaine. No, no, no. These guys, they're done. Oh, they're already on that? One of them will die. What? Before 20. I hate to be this guy, but one of them is going to die before 20. On 420? On 420.

One of the food boys? You know what sucks? We're not giving them flowers. No. These are children. We're not trying to put this on them. Yeah, what the hell? I'm warning them. I'm warning them. Oh, okay. Smoke weed every day. Hey, Durz is really wise. He's giving some wisdom on his birthday. You're saying they're making PJ money? Who's in charge of this money, man? Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. What do you think? Their dad who's doing a bunch of cocaine. This is a tale as old as time. These parents better be reeling them in. That's all I'm going to say. Their parents are pocketing all the money. They're not getting any of the money. That doesn't help. Do you guys get these sort of videos? These algorithmic sort of... Is this what your algorithm is pushing you? Doesn't it just mean white power? No, that's loose butthole. No, I'm just going like... He's Italian. I'm not doing a white power or a...

I'm just saying with talking with my hands. Come on. Where they say it's like, you know, some big star, Timothee Chalamet, made $18 million this year, and then it shows an unboxing video kid, and he made like $48 million this year, and then it shows...

you know, whatever, Sidney Sweeney. And she made $12 million this year, whatever it is. I think our algorithms are different. Mine is just Sidney Sweeney. Wow, dude. And then it shows like another little kid that you've never heard of. And you're like, they made $87 million. Aren't you a fucking idiot for being an actor? And then essentially it's,

make automated YouTube posts and you too can, can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. Do you guys get that at all? What is my algorithm telling you? I think telling you to cash out, brother. I think that you have, I think you have different aspirations that seem to be monetary. And I guess so. You give a fuck. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, dude, that's, and maybe it's time to start switching over, embracing the future. There's,

There's new ways. But also these kids, their audience is their age. So it's a different way to monetize themselves. Whereas our demo... We didn't have that. We didn't have that when we were seven. We couldn't just unbox videos. Well, we're like, but we're between it. We're between demos. Ah, damn. Like we came in to make movies and TV as...

as they were dying and then yeah that was stupid of us when the internet took off we had already like made the leap and invested in tv and movies yeah and we're and guys we're fucked we're screwed that's why we're miserable that's why we're we're dead broke everybody's fuck ai ai this is i'm glad we're talking about this this is important it really is this is a news podcast

That shit's important. Thank you. Dense. Very thick. Very heady. Very dense. I will say the new Google. It's unreal. Go Google. Wait, wait, whoa. The new Google video AI thing. I don't know this. Yeah, there's a video of these two people. They look like just people. They look exactly like people. Like humans. Like humans. Yeah.

Human people. Human people, Blake. Are you following? I'm just making sure we're on the same page. He's had too many Sierra Nevadas. And they are good. They're going down smooth. I love that green can. Yeah, so they look just like... And then you're able to put in the prompt...

Like they're on a train in the 1930s and they're talking with each other and then they're, you know, in the future and then they're wherever. And it looks perfect. It looks perfect. It looks, it looks real. It looks real. Yeah. Like,

You write a script, they say the words, the words they are saying become expressed on their face also and like their body language. Yeah. So like you can say like have them talk about white supremacy and they'll just start doing this, Blake. So like that's something you would do, right? What? No, I'm going to make them fuck each other for sure, though. Come on. That's the ultimate white supremacy. Does it turn into a porno immediately?

Dude, well, and you know Google's not going to allow that, which sucks. No. But there's going to be, as soon as it becomes publicized,

possible that some fucking guy in the valley can just... We'll see, Adam. I know where you're going. We gotta get ahead of that. We gotta be the poster boys for that. We should talk to these guys. We gotta be the leaders of gay eye. The poster boys? I don't know. We gotta be gay eye where you can make all your... Gay eye? Did you just say gay eye? I'm just saying. Did you say gay eye? Yeah! I did! He did, and he deserves points for that. Yes! Points! Okay, thank you. Yes! Points! Woo!

Hey, Blake, why gay, though? Because it's like, it's like, OK, how many text threads are you on where it's just like you and your boys? And how sick would it be if you could load up videos of you just blazing your bros?

Like, that's cool, dude. Like, as a joke. Like, I load up you and Durs, and I'm like, oh, look at, I filmed this video of you guys fucking each other. This is fucking cool, dude. Yeah. That's cool. That's funny. You give us, like, micro penises. Yeah. You give yourself, like, a double, like, super thick double dick. Yeah. Well, I mean, for sure. For sure. And now it's fun. It's fun. You're having with your bros. Now that you stepped it out.

and because of how dense our podcast is now that I really see it. You'll get it on the fourth listen, brother. Trust me. I understand what you're saying, but I think there is maybe more of a market for just straight. It's science. It's a slippery slope. Or both. You could do whatever. I disagree.

i disagree i think i see where adam's coming from but just back to what blake's talking about i do think it's promising but it's also slippery slope because thank you how much time are you spending like developing these videos of you fucking your boys yeah and what effect does that have on you like the next time you see them in person and dap them up yeah like bro i'm already kind of there with like

And also, the way Blake said blazing, that really... Piping out your voice? Oh, God. We're doing a commercial. I think we're going to keep it right here. Let's keep it locked. No, dude, I'm already there, Durs, with what you're speaking of. When you watch so much videos of...

your friends, like, having sex with each other, it starts to infiltrate the way you see them. I'm already kind of there. I can imagine. I'm sure you are already there. With, like, face swap, because there's lots of face swapping, and I'm, like, I'm taking images into face swap. Yeah, dude, if you look up Adam Devine, like,

fucking a dude or something, which I'm always doing. Right. Allegedly. I'm always doing that, but it will pop up. Adam's like, I don't understand my algorithm. It's all like, who's the richest? And then all of a sudden, me getting wiped out by dudes. Yeah, getting, no, blazed. Dude, that's not your guy's algorithm? No, some people have sent me like weird gay porno and I've looked it up. It's like Adam Devine porno and yeah,

I have those images saved. I'm not joking. Yeah. See, and why do they have them or why did they, where, where did they get them? How'd they find them? Well, it was just a face swap. Yeah. It's just a little face swap. Is there a link? I mean, you could look that up. I have, I have them saved from a long time ago, but it's, yeah, it's a Google away for sure. They're very funny. I'm sure you guys are also, let's look up funny. Ders. Hey, well, I'm going to warn you right now, Adam, there is a, uh,

a gay porn star named Blake Anderson. So do be careful with that one.

Careful not to have too good of a time. Okay. I mean, there's nothing. I just wrote gay. Maybe that's not explicit enough because then it's I just wrote Andersholm gay and it's just a lot of photos of your face. It just it just said yes. Yeah. Uh-huh. Google goes. What do you write? Porno? Porno. Siri said, uh-huh. Okay. Wow. You are you're in some some murky waters. I wish. Uh,

There's not. It's you getting your asshole eaten out in that one movie. By the dog? Oh, top five. Yeah. But I'm not seeing any. Yeah, I'm not seeing. That was just ass play. That was straight ass play, though. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. But he turned out to be gay, though. That was the whole thing. It's like she caught me with a guy and then she explained it. Right.

Right. She's like, one time he did like me to eat his booty out or finger it. And then she put like hot sauce in my asshole. Son of a gun. Can't they just give us a win? That was a good movie. So funny. What was that movie called again? That was a good one. Top five. Top five. It was very funny. There's a very funny reveal in that movie.

Oh my God. Oh yeah, there was. Legendary. Yeah, I was like blown away. I did not see it coming at all. I don't want to spoil it, but there's a reveal that just your jaw drops. I feel like not enough people saw top five. Yeah.

Which really sucks I agree Cedric is very good Cedric the Entertainer Do you get stopped at all ever for that movie? You know the last time it was brought up Was when I just spoke at my high school graduation They were like he's in this he's in that They were like he's in top five Oh love that Sick

Evanston knows how to rap. That's cool. They get it. And I was like, yeah, I guess you could bring up the movie where I get my asshole filled with hot sauce. You could do that. Yeah, imagine. Did they mention Game Over Man or they skipped over that one? Skipped over Game Over Man. Weird. The one you wrote. Yeah.

That's awkward. Kind of weird. Awkward. How did that go? That was recently, right? It was a couple weeks ago. It went well. Thank you for asking. We talked about it on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we? I'm almost positive. I like to say we touched on it. We touched. I'm sorry. I've only listened to that episode twice. I got to get on my fourth one to really remember. Yeah, it's too dense. You got to listen at least four times. That's right. Okay, I'm starting to remember now. Did you guys listen to it?

Your speech? Yeah. No, no, no. I did not watch the whole speech. I'm just too busy looking up Anders Holm getting railed by his friends. Yes. Too busy getting blazed. Hey, there's some wisdom in there. Getting blazed by his homeboys. Only there's one site for it. Gay Eye. I'm telling you. GayEye.com. So here's the question. Ding!

If a video of me getting blazed by my friends went wildly viral and made me more known or more famous than anything I've ever done, and then I had to do a graduation speech, do you think they'd be like, you might know him from this movie, that TV show. You definitely know him from Blazed by His Homies. Give it up. And that's when the crowd... I don't know if they would mention it, but I think like...

It'd be like a lot of knowing glances and a lot of like the principal maybe dapping you up one too many times. You're like, oh, good. Like, and we don't need to bring this up, but when, at what point do you think Kim Kardashian cleared the bar? Okay. Friendship.

Of the sex tape not being the thing people think about first. How? You know, that's an interesting stat. I think it's all monetary. I think it's all monetary. And by clear the bar, I mean Ray J's super long. His long jump stick of a cock, dude. Or pole vault. I think it's all monetary. I think once she became like worth $2,000.

$250 million or whatever the number was. Like some hundreds of millions of dollars. Then people suddenly gave her the pass. What position on your list of people? Yeah, when in the algo does she start popping up? Yeah. Not for the porno stuff. Not for pornos. So you have to make a quarter billion dollars for everybody to think you got absolutely...

What just fell? Did something fall? I'm still going to send it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's losing it. What just... What just fell? I was like, toast. I'm 44. He didn't make it. He didn't make it to 69. Fuck. Yeah, I guess you got to make a quarter billion before people forget. Yeah. You can really dome out a...

True pipe. Well, yeah, those videos were pretty legendary. She was. You know what? I will say, I think it's to scale. I think her performance in her video was so good. It's hard for people to forget what they saw. I mean, she mastered it. But my point is,

We have, though. We're past it. We're past it. We have. We are, because she did make so much money. But if, like, I dropped a sex tape where, you know, I did my normal performance, I think it would be forgotten pretty quickly. I think you're being self-deprecating. Yeah. I got a feeling. You got to see me throw it down, brother. Woo!

Are we doing a sack cam on you? Yeah, I agree. I agree with Blake. I've been just through a very thin wall as Blake's fucking and it doesn't sound like anything. See ya. Doesn't sound like anything. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, come on. Come on, dude. It doesn't sound like much. A thin wall? What are you?

It's not about sound. Some people really throw it down very silently. Very silently. It's like kind of a kink. I feel like you do hear some noises. I don't know if it's exactly silent. Blake puts a hand over his own mouth and is like... It's so silent you kind of don't hear anything happening. Right. It sounds like sleeping. Right. Right.

That's weird. Yeah, when she moans, it sounds like snoring. It's really weird. Sleep attack. Couldn't know. No, it sounds like Blake whispering, okay, and when we leave the room, just say that we have sex. Do you promise me? Yeah, okay, I promise. No way, bro. Yo, when I fuck a chick, bro, it sounds like sleep apnea, dog.

I put her on the CPAP, bro. Don't worry about that. I don't even know what that means exactly. She walks out of the bedroom like her foot's asleep. Yeah, bro. Tingly. I leave it tingly. Like her whole body's asleep because she definitely just took a nap. I just want to party. It's like I fell asleep on her arm, dude. Just pretend that we had sex and then we go out and be like, oh, that was really good. I just had really good sex. Actually, tell Adam. Tell Adam.

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What does Hawk Tua have to do to not be Hawk Tua anymore? Like when she gives her graduation speech. Right. I think she's going to have to.

to make hundreds of it's like the step me outside girl how about that catch me outside oh yeah yeah they catch me outside girl how about that i think like i mean she still is that but that has worn off because she's now worth hundreds of millions of dollars and it's this is an only only fans thing right yeah i do believe she made her money that way she's also a hip-hop artist she's also got cancer

What? Wait a minute. Hold up. I think she's got some situation. Well, she's doing a lot, but you don't... She's doing a lot. Adam's like, I was going to make a joke. Don't... She's doing a lot. Don't bring up the... That's really sad. Go ahead, Adam. You were going to say about this young woman dealing with cancer. Go ahead. What is her name? Her name's like Vicky or something. What is it? It's...

It's Woe Vicky. No, not Woe Vicky. That's a different girl. Catch Me Outside is... What's her name? Bad Barbie? Bad Baby. Yeah. I always say Bad Barbie. I don't know. Yeah, me too. Bad Baby. Okay, yes. So now she's just Bad Baby. Yeah, well... And she's no longer Catch Me Outside. How about that? Is she? Yeah.

You lose. I think so. I think she's gone past it. I think you are right. You are right. At 44, I think I'm outside of the demo where people younger would definitely know when you say bad baby. But if you said bad baby, I'd go, who is that again? And you'd say cash me outside. Cash me outside. How about that? How about that? Yeah. What a legend. Has anybody ever caught her outside? She's earned more than $50 million, which was initially met with skepticism, but then she proved it.

that she earns like almost $1.5 million a month on OnlyFans. Right. I mean, and what is she doing on OnlyFans? I don't know. I've never looked at OnlyFans. I haven't either. I haven't either. I refuse. This makes me want to go like, what?

What is the big whoop-dee-doo? But you know what it's going to be? It's going to be like you do it, and then it's hard to cancel because you probably have to read an email. Oh, it's like a gym membership. Or something. And then suddenly you've looked at a few different pages, and suddenly you're paying like $1,500 a month. That is a good point, Adam. You're roped into like a Peloton-type thing for some girl who can shoot.

out of her coochie. Ping pong balls, grapefruit. That seems worth it. That seems worth it. What is this $28,000 a month you're spending on some website? And Adam, this is what you say. You go, honey, honey, she has cancer. This is a foundation. You go, I know how this looks. I know how this looks. She's a cancer.

she's got cancer. Okay. And maybe you, maybe you want to stand by the side and watch this happen to a young woman with a near perfect rack. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stand by. No, we can't. We can't stand. I'm not gonna let it win college. The kids don't need to go to college anymore. AI. It's different. We're not saving this money. There should be a different only fans that is specifically with only cancer. Yes.

That they all have cancer. Only cancer. So then you could go... As long as there's a link for gay eye. Of course there is. This is better than the dark web. This is the light web. This is the future here. Because then you're just supporting people with cancer. You know? Yeah. Hey, Luigi Mangione. Yeah. Maybe this is what you should have done instead of fucking shooting somebody in the back. And now you're in jail. Now you're in jail. Yeah, bozo. Getting blazed by your friends. Yeah.

Oh, he's... Damn, he's probably... That's some points. Give those points. He's a hot commodity. I mean... Oh, in prison? Yes, points! In prison. What's the likelihood of him currently being blazed?

It's pretty hot. You think he's getting tunneled? And by the way, he's jacked. He's jacked, right? So he probably thinks he's going to survive. No, you're not. You're not going to survive. You're not. Those are. And we've all had the fantasy of like, well, I would just I would if they put their dick in my face, I'll just bite their dick off. No, no, you wouldn't. It's science. You wouldn't do it. You wouldn't. Because as soon as you do that.

You just have two shivs through your eyes. And there's that too. They're going to make you swallow it whole and hold it in there for a while. Wow. Yeah. Dude, I bet I'd be so good at it. It's a shame. It's a bagel. It's a shame. It's a shame that you will never know. Blake, cut to commercial. Cut to commercial. I think we're going to keep it right here. I think...

There you go, brother. We're out of here. Thank God. And we're back. And we're back. There it is. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Yeah, that's wild, dude. Huh. What else? What else? What else?

You were just talking about how good you'd be at sucking dick, though. I would be. I would be. Yeah. I think we covered that real early on in the pod. We could revisit it. I feel like on Workaholics, you blew something quite zealously. I deep-throated some hot dogs, and I was so good at it. The hot dog just slid. The glizzy slid right down the throat. That's perfect. And that's why if you write Adam Devine getting blasted

Blaze by his homies. A lot of things pop up. Yeah, it's not you getting Blaze pizza with your friends. No. Is Blaze pizza a thing? Absolutely. Was that LeBron's pizza company? Yes. It's real, Bam. Burn! Is that still going well? I do not think it is. I remember it being like the thing and then... It's a choose-your-own-topping, like...

You know, like counter style. But then the thing is, it's wildly fast. It's like, I want this, this, this, this, this. And then it's like, boom. The oven is very hot. Hence the Blaze. I had it like two years ago. And this is not me shitting on every Blaze experience. Sure. Especially the ones Blaze, Blake talks about. Blaze all day. Goodbye. And it was so bad, my kids said, we should never come back here. What? You know what I mean?

Oh, see, my dad loves it because it has a good gluten-free crust. So there is that. Almost like everywhere. I love Tim. I didn't know he's a bitch. What's going on? What the hell, bro? You better watch out. Come on, man. He'll come for you. He'll suplex you. I love Tim. I love Tim. Does he have a gluten allergy or what's going on over there? Yeah, he does. Oh, man, that sucks. What's it...

And then my aunt has like celiac disease or whatever. It's like really fucked up. Can't have no gluten at all. It doesn't seem fun. And what is gluten? Because my assistant, she's she's gluten free.

I never know what she can eat or what she can't eat. Everything that I'm going to order, she's like, well, that's, I can't eat that. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Here's my thing. Isn't it a thing where like we're all gluten intolerant? Yeah, like we shouldn't be eating it. And some people are just worse off than others. Todd is chiming in. So gluten is a protein found in certain grains, including wheat, barley, and rye.

So that means he can't enjoy a

sierra nevada pale ale well see that's the thing and that's why my dad is a g he will every now and then crack a beer but he knows as soon as he starts drinking the beer he's going straight to diarrhea town back to the tito oh is it it's it's diarrhea time so then then does he pivot to just alcohol but i mean grains yeah like uh i believe tito's is like a gluten-free alcohol um there are options out there i

Okay. So he's fine. Yeah. He could drink. Yeah, he can. He can drink. He can still get blasted. Okay. Thank God. Thank God. Isn't that the whole fact, though, like that none of this shit's good for any of us, right? Like bread is like bad for you. Processed like grains are not good for you, right? So what is like a good carb?

Chocolate milk. Okay, cool. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You asked. Like vegetables? I did actually hear that raw vegetables are bad for you. Shut the fuck up. That's not true. I know. The person who told me, I told him to shut the fuck up, man. Shut the fuck up. Raw just means fresh, uncooked. Now, what did that person's neck look like who told you that?

It was kind of like... Was it real droopy? It was super droopy, dude. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they're like, actually, vegetables are bad for you. Fried food is actually better for you than vegetables. You know, I'm actually... This macaroni and cheese ball is actually way better than a raw eggplant. These are vitamins. Dude.

We went to a nice steakhouse. My family was in town, and we went to a nice steakhouse. Louie's by the Bay. Okay. Go off. It's a great steakhouse in Newport Beach, and we went there last night, and I had some mac and cheese. I will say, it was one of the best meals I've had in years. Okay. Oh, I love when that happens. It was awesome. Oh, the chef was back there just cooking. I've never been the type of guy. Wait a second. The chef's back there cooking? No, but like talking. Yeah.

Not cooking. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Because he's cooking, but he's in his bag. He's cooking. Yeah, yeah. It was everybody's mother meal. But we had mac and cheese with the crumbles on top and the bacon in it. It was ooey gooey. Ooh. Mm.

It was very good. So you guys all just had mac and cheese? I ordered it for the table. No one wanted it. My dad has stomach issues. My mom eats like a little squirrel. Chloe doesn't really fuck with mac and cheese. And then my assistant is gluten free. Bo sort of liked it, but he's 15 months and he was just like, I don't know. He's like, I'm kind of just...

He just looked like he was shitting the whole time. Like, he kept just going like... It might have been. And squeezing to where we're like, he's for sure shitting. And then we checked his diaper. The guy wasn't shitting. He just was holding his breath till he turned red and then laughing because he did that.

Again, again, for his age, very funny. It was very fun. It was a funny bit that he was doing. Also, I feel like you do that. I feel like that's something you do to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He takes after me. Yes. But then no one was taking was eating this mac and cheese. And I don't even know why I'm talking about it. I think you mentioned mac and cheese balls. And I just was like.

I've got to tell my story, dude. Sometimes we just gotta talk about stuff and in the meantime, we'll think of something funny to riff about. Hey, I love mac and cheese. Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan. I got the blue box blue. I'll never get you wrong, Blake. See, I told you we'd come up with something funny. Nice, Blake. Now we're turning into that little kid podcast. Yeah, I think

Probably my favorite mac and cheese is Velveeta. Oh, Velveeta is trash. What? There's Velveeta's bomb.com. No way, dude. It's so.

Dude, it's so red. It's not even real cheese. Dude, okay, I'm reading the ingredients right here. I'm reading the ingredients. Dude, there's like no words you can pronounce on here. Like that tells you right off the bat it's not healthy. Oh my God. Where is it even? What do you know about health, you fat fuck? What the hell? You're grounded. We're all nine years old and our body fat is six. What are you talking about? Dude, they go on some wild ass tangents where they'll be like,

Would you eat like a 7-Eleven sushi? And then the bro's like, absolutely, dude. I'm not scared of that. I wish we could do an entire podcast in the voices. I used to smash 7-Eleven sushi when we lived off Packard, Blake. Oh, man. You're a savage though, dude. Dude, you're such a savage. You're a legend, dude. But it was delicious. And I kind of was like a little butthurt.

and bums. The cause of diarrhea. That it gets such a bad rap because I remember I couldn't afford good sushi because I was poor. Sure. Who could? Can I just say something real quick? Real quick. It doesn't have a bad rap. I think it does. It's that it's bad. Go ahead. For sure. For sure. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. I mean, I know it's not delicious. Sure. In the same way that a hot dog from 7-Eleven is not delicious.

isn't as good as the great Chicago hot dog that you could get. You know what I mean? Well, I would say the grade of a hot dog to the grade of a sushi is way different. Way different. He's from Omaha. He's from Omaha. All I'm saying is I never got sick.

I don't know people that have gotten sick. Well, if that's your baseline. Yeah. But everyone says like, oh, 7-Eleven sushi. Like, it's like a punchline. It's a joke. I'm just standing up for 7-Eleven. I'm standing up for their sushi. Now you're a punchline. You're a joke. Because imagine you're the guy who's your, it's your whole gig is to supply the 7-Eleven sushi. Oh, you're sticking up for him. Yeah, the world is just kind of coming against you. And you're like, this is how I make my living. Wait, what is this? Coming against you? What?

I gotta see this video. What is the world doing? He's using gay AI. It's just gay AI. Sorry.

Sorry, gay. That ain't right. Okay. Well, did I inspire you to put on sunglasses? No, he is in. You did, but I'm also. He is doing VR for gay eye right now. You guys are goblin cocks right now. He's live AI-ing us. Because I'm 44, my wife gave me this red light thing. Do you know about this? Where you can. Oh, sure. What? It's your birthday. What is that?

It's supposed to promote healing on a cellular level. I sort of think it's not real, Bam. Okay. But Tony Cavallaro will cover himself in these lights and ride a bicycle. Is it real?

He's a bit of a guru too. He studies up. He studies up. Yeah, he knows all this stuff. And I'm like, do you think it's working? He's like, maybe, but it seems like a crazy thing. I'm going to put it on my foot. Because I've seen the masks where you wear the white mask with the red and it's supposed to, I don't know, help with like... Oh, congratulations, boy. But what is that? You're holding a handheld wand.

But I thought this was for like to like cure like wrinkles or like pores. I got wrinkly feet. So this is me at 44. Because I sprained my toe like a fucking year ago, like bent it out of aloe wax, I now have arthritis in my big toe. You are so old. What does that do? Hurts so much.

So bad. It just hurts. Go to hell, you old bastard. Wow. So now my fucking toes is on fire all day. Really? And when I run, it's a nightmare. Can I ask you this? It's a daymare. That really sucks. Have you thought about quitting running? Never, dude. It's a lifestyle, brother. Never stop running. Can't, bro. All right. I quit everything. What about this, Ders?

And this is serious. Can you amputate your toe and replace it with like a replacement toe? Yeah. Great, great question. I'm glad you're serious. Okay. I suppose. I mean, dude, I would probably give the red light therapy a shot before amputation. Yeah. What are we fucking Deion Sanders? Oh, no, it's Ronnie Lott.

come on it's dion too isn't it no what did they do ronnie lott like broke his finger during a game like pretty bad and ronnie lott remind me who he is he was a football player yeah 40 49ers he's on the 49ers he's like one of the best defenders ever but he fucked his finger up really bad his pinky it was like so bad they were like you can't play and he's like fuck it and supposedly he just like

Ripped his pinky off and kept playing. Well, that's different. This is my big toe. If I don't have my big toe, I'm fucked. Oh, yeah. You got to keep that.

I assume there's like a replacement toe. A replacement toe. Yeah, it wouldn't be the same, dude. They really haven't dialed that in quite yet. I wish AI would really work on healing my body, Durza's body. I can't wait. That'll be the next big thing. That's priority. I can't wait till you can like have your fucked up toe cut off and then they like put a little like

A little juice on the nub, and then you start to grow a new one. That shit's going to be fire. Yeah, I don't know if I know what that means, but I can't wait. That'll be cool. You know what I want? I want when people are in chronic pain, as I am. That's me. I'm with you. And Ders is now part of this club. Ders in his toe. Yep. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. I would like a shot or a pill that you could just be out of pain. That's heroin.

I know, but not, I know, but not fuck you up in that way. Like I don't want to feel like I'm on heroin or feel, I don't even like the, the effects of like a pain pill. It sucks. You can't do shit. Yes. It's not. How about this? Can they just remove the nerve endings? Can they just get in there and then just pull it out like a fucking weird weed?

Yeah. I don't need it. I don't need to feel my toe. I mean, you see the movie, the movie Novocaine with Jack Quay. Oh, I haven't seen it yet. I really want to. That movie where he like has some sort of disease or something where he can't feel. And it's like, it's like Darkman. Dangerous. It's dangerous because he could like bite his tongue off and not feel it. And,

Sure. So he's like very, very careful of everything. And then this girl that he falls in love with, he like it gets kidnapped and he goes, he goes to try to save her. And, you know, he fucks her too hard. Yeah. Blake. Yeah. I was giving him the version. Maybe if we were in a writer's room, that would be the first thing I spitball. But I would love that. I would love that. That sounds really great. Yeah.

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Oh, you know what I did? You know what I did last weekend? I went to Bottle Rock up in the Bay Area. I hung out with Kyle. Yeah, dude. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the freaking heck? How is he? Yeah, headline alert. Bury the headline. See ya. Water trash. Yes. How was it? I've always wanted to go to that festival. It's a festival in Napa Valley. It was so damn fun. It was awesome. I'm friends with Trey Cool from Green Day, and he was like, you

you should come up to bottle rock, but you need to get like the super VIP passes so you can hang out with us. And I'm like, can you hook me up? And he's like, I absolutely cannot, but he could hook me up with, uh,

Me and him hosted the culinary stage. Yeah, that's like a culinary stage. That's kind of the thing. It's like a festival with food going on. It's very cool. Yes, and it was awesome. Williams-Sonoma culinary stage, and they had all these famous chefs. Tight. I think my guys were called Michael and Brian Volteggio Brothers. Sure, of course. Sounds real. They were cool. They were very cool dudes. Yeah. And we made these giant lobster rolls.

And we made... They're huge. They were like the size of a loaf of bread. I'm glad we're talking about this. I'm glad we're talking about this. Because I saw the video. Dude, I felt so bad. I go to give it to someone in the crowd, but I couldn't climb... I couldn't climb down. There was no way to climb down to hand it to someone. So I was like, I'm gonna toss it. I thought I could toss it out. And they also... The crowd was going like, yeah, throw it. And it wasn't a small crowd. There was like 5,000 people watching this. Yeah. And...

And they're like, throw it, throw it. And so I'm like, fuck, I'll throw it. And I go, I was aiming for this guy in a purple hat. And I threw it towards that man. It flips upside down. The entire loaf of the lobster roll dumps out with, I would say, three pounds of lobster. There was so much lobster. And mayonnaise or whatever they make lobster with. Oh, yeah. All the worst things. Dude, it dumped so hard.

on a pack of girls. Like tweens. They were like, I mean, they were probably like between 15, 16. They were somewhere in there. Why did this dad just throw a lobster roll at me? I know. Dude, it's so gnarly. And the video, I ended up taking it down. I felt bad. People were like, why would you do that? I'm like, I did not think it was going to go that way. Yeah. Dude, it's truly sad. It was. It's truly sad because you know these little girls have a whole festival left

Where they gotta be sitting smelling like lobster and mayonnaise. I feel horrible. The Fabrizio brothers didn't hook them up with an apron or something after that? Yeah, like, what could you have done to help them? And then I go backstage and I'm like, we have to get those girls, like, free merch or some shit. And they're like, okay. And then...

We didn't find them. We couldn't find them. You gotta hose them down. And then... I'm like... Well, maybe it wasn't that bad. A mom reached out... Via Instagram. She DM'd me. And...

She was like, it wasn't just one girl. You doused a whole pack of girls, one of which was my daughter. And then I write back, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I want to apologize. I didn't think it was going to happen. I want to apologize. I won't. You're a monster. I want to. I want to. I'm not going to. No, I apologize. I very much want to, but my lawyer is telling me I can't. I can't. I can't even. I can't. I can't talk no more. I can't.

I said I was very sorry. Yada, yada. And then she writes back. It actually ruined her day. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah. And then she was like, she was sad and she was embarrassed. Yada, yada. Oh, man. So I'm trying now. I'm trying to get a bunch of Bottle Rock merch to send to them. Oh, dude. She don't want to remember that day. It was the worst day of her life. I know.

Her crush was there. She went to go. He saw her. He's like, what's up? She just had fucking lobster rotting. And, you know, Benson Boone was on stage with us who like all the girls are crushing on. And this is the flipper. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Man. Oh,

Oh, that's him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I've heard that. Yeah. Oh, how could you not? Talented guy. Beautiful voice. Where would I have heard that song, though? Probably just Instagram? Everywhere. Just everywhere. Where people are, like, working out, and it's his song, right? He has a stunningly beautiful voice. I think when I see, like, chicks, you know how, like, the girls do, like, the pull-ups with no shirt on? Like, you just see their back. Here's your algorithm. This is my algorithm. Yeah.

And it's just said to that song of them doing pull-ups. It definitely feels like a girl's fitstagram.

If that's a thing. Yes. Sounds like an anthem. It's half of Instagram. I walked backstage after watching Benson Boone and I was doing that. I was just singing. I was pretty half-cocked by this point. And I'm just going, Were you half-cocked when you threw the giant lobster roll? I wasn't. That was early in the day. I wasn't. I like had one drink. His lawyer is telling him to say he was sober. Yeah. No, I wasn't. When you spiked the football into the...

little girl's hair i didn't mean to dude here's my question and this is half kind of a joke and half very serious what does this woman expect from you i know that that's what people said you know closure like you you're a good person you're gonna try and make it right yeah i'm trying over here but but in in her where she's coming from what is making it right ah

I know. I'm like, I don't know. I don't really know what to do. I'm going to see if I can get a hooded sweatshirt or something to her. This sounds like the beginning of a stalker comedy movie from the 90s where it's like, oh, I didn't mean to do that. That's okay. Maybe we just go to dinner one time. And you go, okay, yeah, let's go to dinner one time. And then from there, it turns into this. I won't be eating lobster. Ha, ha, ha. But you will. And it's just her. They kidnap me and they force feed me lobster. What the hell? Until I pop.

Allegedly. I hope that's not the case, but. Right. Yeah, I hope not. So I was bummed by that. So other than that,

After that, you just started raging again, right? And then I drank a lot. Yeah, I was like, I feel like such a dick. Adam's going to go to prom with this girl. By the way, no one else backstage thought they were just like, that was hilarious. No one was like, that was insane. We got to get these girls hoodies or this. Everyone was like, that was awesome. And I'm getting high fives. And I'm like, I feel bad. And then I don't. It's fine. They love it. And I'm like, oh, they love it.

And then I come home, I read my DMs. I'm like, oh, man. Yeah, I think what really sold it was the video footage that you posted as well. It's like, it's tragic because it pans over and it's just this little girl just like...

It was like coleslaw just dripping from... I'm like, oh, damn. Whatever. It's a fun story. She'd go back next year. Maybe you could get her free tickets for next Bottle Rock. I would love that. I am not in control of anything, and I've reached out, and I haven't heard much back. But I'm still working on it. This is what people pay for when they go see that birthday cake DJ, right? Yeah, I was the Steve Aoki of...

- Seafood. - Yeah. - But you know what, birthday cakes, you know, it does well in the sun. I don't know that seafood- - No it doesn't. - What are you talking about? - No it doesn't. - No it doesn't. - Well it definitely doesn't do as well as fucking lobster immediately and mayonnaise. That is not, that is not what you want on you. - You're right. You were right. - It hits different. It hits different. - It hits different.

That birthday cake hits different in the sun, okay? True, double true. Double true, skinny. Yeah, that's what's up. That's what's up, no doubt. Yeah, that's definitely what's up. I like your perspective, man. You always bring like a different vibe. I'm like, thanks, brother. Cheers. And then linked up with Kyle for a little bit. Oh, yeah, how is it? His braces are looking...

absurd yeah the guy needs to get these oh yeah the bitch for those that don't know he got braces as soon as he wasn't on the pod anymore and we and and of course he's inspiring we would have every pod would have been about kyle and did him and did him yeah yeah i see him you know out and about we go uh play pickleball and that's nice he never hits me up it still catches me off guard when i see those braces yeah it does

So gotta see a lot of that I met a lot of I met Steph Curry He's nice as hell dude The freaking goat I like how you're shocked The list of people I met Steph Curry, Ken Griffey Jr Who's like dabbled me up like we're old homies What the hell Gavin Rosdale came over to me He probably thought you were Sean Astin Because they were from the same era Yeah that might be It's possible we'll take it

He's like, Goonies. Goonies never say die. You're like, no doubt. They really don't. So sick. Hey, you guys. Met Gavin Rosdale and he came over to me. He's a big Righteous Gemstones fans. Okay, that's sick. How was he not on it? He apparently auditioned for the Righteous Gemstones. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. And he auditioned for Judy's, Judy like cheats on her husband last season. And he,

That's a great casting. But the guy who got it was fantastic in the role. But he was like, I just couldn't get the southern accent down, mate. I kept saying...

Guitar. He's like, I'm tuning my guitar. And I'm like, thank God they didn't cast you. Because this is, I'm offended. If I'm Southern, I'm offended by this. Yeah, that's not good. But it was cool. And that just goes to show you that, like, it must have been awful. Yeah, yeah. Because if Gavin Rossdale is auditioning for you, it's kind of like a formality. You're like, he's getting it. Yeah, he's gonna get it. He's got the role. It's your role to lose. If he could have just played Gavin Rossdale, then, I mean, I would have loved if Kel

Kelvin's crush was just Gavin Rosdale. I pay for him to come perform at a birthday party or something. After you met him, did you go, hey man, don't let the days pass you by? Oh, I didn't. Fuck, I should have. And then he looks back at you and he goes, glycerin. Yes, points! Because, by the way,

He's stunning. Of course he's stunning. Always has been. His hair, the way his clothes lay on his body. I was shook. You were bottle shocked. Yeah, you were fully bottle shocked. Khloe could not have cared less. I mean, it was just like a guy I was talking to. And I'm like, that's Gavin Rostow. And she's like, oh, is that who that is? I would AI you and Gavin blazing each other so quickly. Hey, Adam, I don't want to do this to you. What? What's that? Okay.

Chloe was pretending that she didn't know. Ew, yucky. She was like, oh my god. Not for me. Who was that nobody that just made me come stand in here? Ew. Yucky, yucky, yucky. I must have got some lobster roll in my pants. It smells like lobster.

Gavin Rosdale? Like, I feel like when he just walks through, like, a mall, women are fainting. Oh, he's stunning. They get the stanky leg. You know who I also met that also gave an air of, like, who I've never really liked, admittedly, that much? Okay. Was Gavin Newsom. Oh, shit. I met multiple Gavins. Okay. How was Newsom? Boo!

I've been on an airplane with him. I met him. I've never been a big newsome guy. Yeah. I talked with him for like five minutes. Oh, well, he's a politician. He's probably fucking slick as shit. Dude, he's so good at talking and just making you feel great.

And he's also like a stud. His hands, his hand gestures. Dude, he was just a stud holding court. I'm like, well, he's like a college baseball player. Yeah. Yeah. He's cool. I mean, whatever. But he talks to him. He's like, I mean, I was no good. I just played in college. You know, I guess I could hit. And you're like, shut the fuck up. It was very much like that. It was very much like, I don't know. Maybe we'll see. Anytime you're in the room with like any politicians, you just get it. They're just slick as fuck.

Fuck. Yeah, you get it. This is what you said about Joe Biden, right? Yeah, exactly. The same thing. Biden was a fucking killer in the room. You're like, oh, man. And then, of course, his, you know,

Brain left him. RIP his brain. Stop. Do not say this. Don't. You're turning your back on the DNC. Fake news. Finish him. Love him. He was truly very nice when I met him. But years ago. Lost his mind. And that makes me go like, you know Trump's the coolest.

You know Trump's the coolest. Dude, are you kidding me? He's a fucking blast, man. I bet Kamala, when you meet her, is fucking down to clown. You're like, this girl rules. She's hella cool. Yeah. She rocks. I wonder if Hillary- Adam.

is great. Hillary's so fun, bro. She beer bombs. Yeah, I wonder if Hillary, when you meet her, you're like, fuck, she's the best, dude. She looks like a grandma, but she fucking parties, dude. She's cool, dude. I just get it. I thought you were going to say she fucks, bro. Hillary definitely is like, she'll meet you, you establish a handshake or whatever, and then when you see her five years later, she still remembers. Yeah. You remember that? Yeah.

So gotcha. And then she pulls out a little hot sauce. She's like, I bring this everywhere. Yeah. I'm cool, right? And you're like, yeah, you are. That is fucking cool. In real life, that's endearing and cool, and I love it. And then she's like, oh, my God, wait, there's a sniper. And then she farts, and she's like, just kidding. I farted. I got you, bitch. You were so scared. You know, you're in a hacky sack circle, and all of a sudden, Bernie Sanders just comes in and does a cool side stall.

Dude, stalling all day. Bro, are you kidding me? He does a cool side stall. He kicks it up. Have you ever arm wrestled RFK? He's like, get over here, bro. You're in a push-up contest with RFK. You're just having a blast.

get over here. Yeah, he's called you brother a lot. You're like, man, it's cool. He's like a WWF wrestler, man. So good. I love politicians. They're the best. In real life, they're all the fucking men or women. Yeah, they're great. They all just rule. Yeah. Shout out to politicians, man. Yeah. They get a lot of bad press, but here, they're family. Well, what other politicians have you met? Because I've only, I met, I met a

a handful of mayors. I met Newsome. I met the governor of Nebraska. I was at a Kamala thing years ago. Okay. Did you meet her? As a VP, I mean, it was like a very small, like, you know, 40 people in the room type donor. Ooh, instruments gatherings. Do not come.

And she seemed super cool. Yeah. Was it a diddy freak off? Dude. And she was like, workaholics? And I go, that's right. And she goes. I wouldn't mind working that small dick. She goes, Ders is my favorite character. 69 man, number two. Ders won 69 man, number two. Politicians I've met. I don't know. Paula Poundstone. Paula Poundstone ran for office? Didn't know that. Jesse Ventura did, and he's a fucking sick ass fool. Well, well. Yeah.

I met, dude, met Arnold one time. You know he fucking rocked. I mean. Unreal. Yeah. Dude, I played Commando for my kids the other day. What the hell? Is that a little adult? What? Wow. Love that. What? What are you training these soldiers, bro? Yeah. Love that, dude. Fuck it. Dude, let me just say this. They like the movie. They're into it. They're into it. Yes.

When he gets to like, it's like he goes to like Catalina or some Island out there where there's like a secret headquarters and he starts gearing up and he's like zipping the vest. Is that when he like is carrying trees around as like a training? That's the very beginning. When you meet him, you go, okay, this guy's formidable. When he gears up to take on the hundred, the hundred guys or whatever. And he's like tying grenades on shoving like knives in places, guns here, there, everywhere, tying boots. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's the best. My kids stand up off.

up off the couch and are just like, they're like, war! With everything that gets added. We're going to war! And when he's like painting the fucking like camel on and then puts the gun on his shoulder. I'm getting fucking jacked and juicy just listening to this. I was like, this never gets old. Watching jacked dudes gear up for combat. Oh God, I could watch it all day. But also, hey, hear me out. Would it be still, would it still be cool if

Maybe not cool, but would it be funny if just I was shirtless doing the exact same thing? Would it be funny? I think with music and if you can give me something behind the eyes, Adam. Yes. That tells me you're serious about this. Okay. I mean, I'm saying for any of us, but I think my body's probably the most porridge base right now.

Okay, stop. I think as long as you have it in the eyes and we know you're going to kill, you get a pass. Yeah, I like that. I like any sort of... The music helps. The music helps. Yeah, gear up scenes rock. Because, I mean, obviously Arnold's the best version of it, but I think...

Like, seeing anyone... If, like, if Leslie Nielsen were to do that in a naked gun, I would say it's the best sequence ever. Right. Or Leslie Jones. Any Leslie. Yeah. They did it in... I want to say they did it in hot shots. It might have been hot shots part do. Right. But I think he, like...

or maybe something he suits up and then it's in Rambo First Blood Part 2 he does the exact same thing yeah and then something happens he like puts on all the gear and then like he's standing there and then he like falls over because it's so heavy and that's like the end of the bit I mean they did it in I'm Gonna Get You Sucker like this is this is classic yeah so it's fresh comedy yeah

It's time to rehash. They were asking me if he was CGI. Can you imagine being so jacked that children ask if you're CGI? That's so cool. Hot, hot, hot, hot. That's so cool. And then I had to explain. I go, he was like the first. Before CGI. He was the first famous bodybuilder. People used to just like work out and do bodybuilding. He was Mr. Universe six times in a row. And they're like, but now everyone looks like that.

And you're like, I know. It's so annoying. Kind of. Yeah. Nobody looks like Arnold, though. Goddamn. He's fucking flawless, dude. He's the perfect meat mountain. Gay eye. Sponsored by gay eye. Sponsored by gay eye. I did feel lucky. I was like, I'm so lucky that we grew up in that era. Yeah. No, yeah. We were. We're so lucky. We've seen it all. We've got to see that. And we've got to see fucking.

the food boys pod. Like, we're so fucked. Like, you know how, like, girls growing up, they were like, in magazines, all these girls are skinny. We were watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies just being like, that. That's what I need to be. I want to be that, and I can't be that. What the hell is that? That. What is that? That.

Yeah.

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NMLS number 1353190. Klarna balance account required. Klarna may get a commission. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply. I listened to an audio book. Yeah, you did. I think it's called The Last Action Heroes. Yeah! And it's fucking awesome. You're so smart, dude. Such an audio book, dude. Yeah. I love it, brother. I love it for you. Oh, dude. I love it.

I love listening to, well, because I drive back and forth from LA quite a bit. And then whenever I'm driving, I fire it up, dude. Yeah. Listen to a book. I really appreciate that you don't support podcasts. You do audio books. They're way better. No, no, no, no, no. Dude, I couldn't imagine listening to a podcast.

I couldn't imagine. And Adam, what is the highlight? It's just really cool stories about every action hero. It's like, so like, what's one like that you, give me one. You don't think I know. You don't remember anything. I don't remember. Dude, I have a Snapchat memory. I just remember having a great time while listening to it. I did listen to a book. I promise. Yeah. It's called the last action heroes. Yeah. And it tells stories by, uh, it's gotta be John Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, uh,

I think... Golf Lungren. It's all the expendables, right? Are we doing... Is Bruce Lee up in the mix? No. I understand that he's a different category, but he's got to be mentioned. No, he's different. It's all from the 80s and 90s. Yeah, I would like for you guys to guess. There's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...

There's eight guys here. And we got Arnold. Arnold, Sly. Yep. Those are the two main. Dolph. JCVD. Dolph, JCVD. Uh-huh. Steven Seagal. Yep. Really? Bruce Willis. Bruce. Bruce.

Okay. You're only missing two more. Two more. Two more. Two more. Mel Gibson? It's not Mel. It's not Mel. Are there any women? No. Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Come on, Ders. What are you talking about, bro? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? These are going to be hard to guess. No, they're not. No, they're not. Can't be Hulk Hogan.

It is not Hulk, no. It's Wesley Snipes. It is not. Oh, disqualified. Sorry, book. You don't count. The fuck are we talking about? Who are the last two? The last two are... We can do this. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. We can do this. Is this good? Is this good podcast? It's great. Because people are punching their fucking... Yeah, exactly. Yeah, their screens. They're like, you stupid fuck. It's right there, you stupid idiot. And Adam, are you saying these are easy or not so easy? I would say they are...

I mean, they're both very famous, but they're not top of mind, and that's why you guys are stumped right now. No, we're not stumped. We're just having fun talking. Are you not having fun? Can I ask, are they super buff? They're less buff. I mean, they're both badasses. One is known as...

He's a stunt king. The other is... Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan, you nailed it. Okay. And the other is known as a certified badass, but kind of looks like a dad. Mickey Rourke. Ooh. And I already said Mel Gibson. And I didn't sign off on my life being part of this book. Yeah, that's interesting. He's like maybe one of the most...

Like, these other guys went to train with him. He's a little bit older. Oh, Chuck Norris. It's Chuck Norris. Oh, Chuck Norris, dude. So, like, weirdly... We got a star with Bruce Lee! No, weirdly... Weirdly...

Weirdly, Chuck Norris is like... Remember, there was like the peak moment where there were all these Chuck Norris jokes and shit. But I don't think people have actually dove into the Chuck Norris movie catalog. Or life. His movies... There's a lot. His movies are fucking awesome, dude. They are so cool. So, I don't even know if you guys know this, but when we did Crossbows and Mustaches, our world-famous sketch...

There's a part where I get... Look it up. Crossbows and mustaches. I get kidnapped. They put me in a chair. They cut the bottom of the chair out. My nuts hang. Yeah, they do. Perfect. Now, that's stolen from a 007 movie, right? Yes. Yes, with Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig. Beautiful man. Then they take a bag with an angry rat and they wrap the bag around my nuts. Yep. That is taken from, I believe... And somebody get me out...

Missing in action two? Maybe three? I'm not sure. Maybe one. It's from a missing in action. They tie a bag over Chuck Norris' head with a rat. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yes, yes, yes. Isn't he hung by his legs? Hung upside down. I think I played it for you guys so you'd understand what I was pitching. Dude. And then they take the bag off and he's got the rat in his teeth and you're just like, fuck. And in our sketch, his dick...

Your nuts tied the rats up and killed the rats. Choked it out. So good. It's incredible. Your nuts are so talented. Before I could grow a mustache. Mission in action 2. I know it was 2. I was right.

But yeah, one crazy story was Jean-Claude Van Damme used to go to he was like 20. He was like 24 or something or 22. He was like a young guy. And Chuck Norris is almost 40 and he's training. And Jean-Claude went to train with him. And they're like, OK, kid, if you could keep up, you could train with us.

I think I might be able to. And then Jean-Claude couldn't, was gassed and had to stop working out. I got nothing. And then he kept hanging out and he's like, I have to let me spar with you. Let me spar with you, man. It's pretty good. It's really good. Chuck was like, I can't allow you to spar with me. I would murder you. That's fucked up. And he's like, you have to. And then he just proceeded to kick his ass so badly that Jean-Claude couldn't walk out.

Well, yeah.

And then he was his assistant. Oh, my God. Shout out Jean-Claude. I love it. For however long until he got his first big movie and then he left being Chuck's assistant. Well, notoriously Chuck Norris and also Steven Seagal, but I would take Chuck over Steven. They are real fighters. They are actually trained. Ryan Murphy needs to make that show. Yes, yeah. But Steven Seagal was like...

He was great, but also everything for Chuck, for Steven Seagal is unverified. They're like, he said he trained with this guy, but that really wasn't. It's not for sure. Like Chuck Norris won competitions like he is the guy. He was a world champion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a real actual badass. Jean-Claude Van Damme was a ballerina.

Let's be honest. But he had the... Like, literally, he was a ballerina? Yes. But who also did martial arts. Yeah, but he did ballet. But here's the difference. No shade. That's a hard to do. I couldn't stand on my toes. Does Chuck Norris have a trademark? Because Jean-Claude was like,

I have a trademark. I do this. What's his, the splits? Yeah. Yeah. He does the splits. I thought you meant like he owned a trademark. No, no, but if he had a trademark, but if any of us did the splits, not cool. If anyone does the splits, not cool. I don't know. When Jean-Claude Van Damme does the splits.

It's cool. Yeah, dude. I don't know if you saw my Jennifer Hudson tunnel walk, spirit tunnel walk. 69, dudes! I did do the splits and it was very well received. It was very well received. I told my algorithm, I told my algorithm, stop sending me the fucking Jennifer Hudson tunnel walk. I'm like, oh no. It's done. The spirit walk, because I did it the once. Now I told my publicist, I'm like,

I did it. Like now, now when I go back to do press and I'm doing Jennifer Hudson, which I'm sure I will. And, and I had a great time on the show. Yeah. Do I have to do the spirit walk again? Yeah. You gave it your all. I gave it my all. I did. Has anybody done it twice? I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. What a mess. You have to, you have to bring that much energy again. It's tough. No, sir. I don't like, I can't wait. I have dirt. We got to get you in that fucking spirit walk. I can't wait to watch it. I, I,

I don't get anxiety. My skin is crawling having to tell those people... I'm living a nightmare. Nothing would make me happier than to watch Ders not do... Just walk down it and be like...

And Adam, tell me if I'm wrong here. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. To me, there's nothing worse than manufactured good times. Sure, sure, sure. But does it feel like an actual good time? I had a pretty damn good time doing it because they're just chanting your name and they're doing fun songs. And I ended up having a great time. At first, I was like,

Because I wasn't real. You had to do it twice. That's right. No, I just kept running back and forth through it. I didn't have to do it twice. I thought you told us before that they were like, do it again. No. Well, that's not true. Check the tapes. Yeah, check the tapes. I've never said that. I didn't have to do it again. Blake. I do recall that. I do recall you saying that. Yeah, thank you. No, no, no. The thing was is I walked out and they were there chanting and I wasn't ready. I don't want to know the thing. I want to know the truth.

You can't handle the truth. So then I had to go back in. I wasn't ready. They're like, and then I like stepped out real quick of the little room and they start changing. I'm like, no, I'm not. This isn't like the shirt I'm wearing or whatever. So I had to go back in, change the shirt. Uh, see ya. Any tape backs, apologies, any epic slams? Oh,

Do you want to take back hitting that girl with the fucking lobster roll? I would like to take that back, yeah. I felt bad initially. I felt very bad when the mom reached out and shamed me. As she should have. I would be pissed too. If it was my daughter...

And some middle-aged comedic actor got on stage and spiked a five-pound lobster roll. Gotcha, bitch! Covered in an entire tin of caviar on my daughter's head. It's getting worse. I would be bummed.

Wait, how could you, did you get to eat the lobster roll at all? Or it just wasn't to your liking? Or you just like. No, I would just was like the audience should have this. Blake, great question, Blake. I thought people were given the food. I guess I didn't even understand the story because I didn't know if you ate it or tasted it or not.

No, it's just like wild. And then Trey threw out this giant thing of ice cream and it hit this guy in the head. And he liked it. You just aimed at minors. He liked it. He was like a guy. He was just like a dude. He was like, if I would have hit a dude.

I feel great about this whole thing. It's the fact that it missed the dude I was aiming for and hit a pack of little blonde girls who were there just to see Benson Boone and be excited about living life. Benson Boone! And instead they got bumpered. They got bumpered. They got bumpered.

Sorry. Our girl's got bumpers. And that's my move. And I'm very sorry. I would like to give a big shout out to my boy, Anders Holm. Yes. A big 48 years old. I'm 44. 44. 44. You seem older than that. Can you imagine if I was 48?

Oh my God. I can't wait. And I'll give him an epic slam. I'll say, you're old as dirt, baby. You're old as dirt. Classic. Classic. It was fun. I just posted, you know, because you have to post about your friends and it's their birthday. You have to. Oh my God. I posted about you today and I went back and was like, it's nice that now you can just like, you're in my little, I have so many photos with you throughout the years. It's just like,

in your phone, it just says Anders. And then I can click on that button and it shows every photo we've ever taken together, which is like 1200. And I went back through the crates and found like some super old ones. It was fun to go back and relive, rehash those memes. Dude, I'm going to look at them all in bed tonight.

Those, uh, the, the button where you can just, you can really just fall into photos of your phone. Like when you start to go back, it's, it's better than any TV show. It's the TV show of your life. It's really beautiful that I know this was heady. I know this is heavy as much as I want to end on that. That's a little dunce. That's a little dance, but I do that a lot on planes when I'm,

you know, just not wanting to buy the wifi. Of course I go, let me look at every photo I've ever taken. Go, go. Uh, yeah, here I want to say thank you to all my well-wishers and the DMS. I appreciate it. Thank you. Definitely say thank. Here's my thing though. And you guys know I got to have a thing. It's like, yes, you do. For you guys. I love like,

Being mentioned in your stories, I appreciate it. Oh, good. But we're in this era where now the expectation is that you get reposted. Yeah, don't worry. You don't get a repost. I'd prefer if you did. It would be nice.

I understand. It would be nice. But I feel like I got a few that I was like, I feel like you're just doing this to be reposted. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's definitely a move. Oh, fuck. That's a good one. I mean, look at that. That's a fake mustache. But there's the real one. It's basically exactly what it is.

Little redder. Yeah, no, you are right, though, Durz. There are people who tag you to get a little bit of your birthday juice. I'm glad you're putting them in their place. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I don't like it. And call them out by name right now. I probably will. I probably will. On another episode. Wait, wait, wait. Blake didn't do anything next. I did. I gave him an epic slam, dude. Adam's never listening. And that's another episode of.

This is important. That was a dance episode, dudes. Thick. That's a thick bitch. That's a thick bitch. Why are we playing this song? I don't know. It was just fun to go out on. It's Caddyshack and Caddyshack Gopher. And we were.

I don't know why it came into my head. Yeah, I'll come into your head. Wow, I love it. Coming in hard. Well, happy birthday, Dursie. Happy birthday, Durs. Thank you, guys. And I'll repost you guys. Raise a glass of Sierra Nevada and you'll taste more than just a beer. You'll taste a trailblazing spirit. You'll taste pure ingredients, sustainable

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