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Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio. This is a show where we only talk about what is very important to us. Today we talk about... You know, he was sticking his dick into a Twinkie and was like... Rosebud and then the floater. Bananas are always garbage. I want to fuck a giraffe, dude. Let me get stilts. Bananas.
Here we go. Bam! We rolling. Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bakey. What up, party people? Is that how your parents would wake you up, like on a weekend? Like maybe you were having a little bit of a slumber party, would they say, wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey? Because that's how my family would wake me up. Yeah, my dad would always come in and say that. He would? Eggs and bakey?
My mom would sing a little song. She'd say, good morning, good morning, good morning. It's time to rise and shine. Yep, I got that too. Good morning, good morning, good morning. I hope you're feeling fine. Get out of bed, you sleepy head. That's right. You're just copying. Do you know it, Kyle? Yeah.
No, we're going at the exact same time. Your parents didn't sing. What is it from? That's a question. What is that from? I don't know. It's probably rooted in Christianity, if I had to guess. Is that for real? You guys woke up like that? I mean, yeah. Sometimes, if my mom was in a good mood. Wow.
Mine was, get up, get up, you sleepyhead, get up, get up, get out of bed. Yeah, we had that one too. Not much of a song, kind of just a few words thrown together in a sing-song fashion, but I know I had a good time. What was yours, man? I got to hear. My mom would come in my room.
She would just go to my stereo, turn on the classical station, crank it, and leave the room. That's tight. That's a great snooze. And I would go ballistic. Ballistic? Yeah. Because I'm like chilling and all of a sudden it's like, ka-ka-ka-ka, ka-ka-ka-ka, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
And I'm like hungover or whatever. You know, I'm 13. I'm just fucking chill. You got to kick the most recent girl out of bed. I'm trying to grow. I'm trying to sleep and grow, man. She's stunted my growth with that shit. Hey, man, you're big as hell though, man. Thank God. Yeah, thank God she's stunted your growth, dude.
You a freak, boy. Yeah. I could have been 6'7". It sounds kind of nice, like classical in the morning. That sounds kind of dope. No, no. It was brutal. Cranked. Not like pleasant. Like super loud to be like, get the fuck up out of your bed and turn it off. Who are we talking about here, though? Was it like Beethoven? Was it Mozart? Was it...
I could go on and on. But after you got out of bed, was there eggs and bakey waiting? Yeah. No. I never had eggs and bakey waiting for me either. No. I'm not saying never, but usually it was like, hey, there's instant oatmeal and your brothers are already out of the house. We need you to leave. Just go somewhere. We need you to leave. Yeah.
It's time to go. You got to go. Dude, I used to mash on instant oatmeal a lot as well. I know we had the cereal discussion, but do you remember those little like four packs where it would be like one flavor? Quaker oat, baby. Yeah, it was like raisin, apple. The apple cinnamon. Get at me. Cinnamon and spice. And then the brown sugar one was flamethrower. Yeah, brown sugar. Yes. What you do is you mix a brown sugar with that apple cinnamon. Oh, fuck. Call it a life.
I actually had never done that. But tell me y'all got the box with the cream flavors. Bro, with the banana and the peach. So banana was garbage. Bananas are always garbage. But peach, blueberry, and... Okay, that's right.
Oh, don't talk about it. Oh, don't even mention bananas. Peach off the chain. Blueberry off the chain. Blueberry was good. I couldn't, honestly, though, I didn't do the fucking oatmeal because I didn't like the consistency of it either. I was like all Eggo all the time or cereal. Dude, Eggos. How many? Three or four? Four, player. We had the four banger. The toaster that was the four banger. Dude, it would go so fast.
Homestyle, buttermilk, reg, OG. Homestyle. Oh, what about Eggo minis, bro? Do not get me started on those. Not worth it. Rather have an Eggo. What are you, fucking a bird? So what Eggo-specific song did your parents wake you up to?
Yeah, what was the Eggos song? Fucking Eggos, Eggos. Fucking Eggos. What was it? It was Eggos and the Paper Route. Did you guys have Paper Routes? I certainly did. Yeah, I had a Paper Route. You did? Yeah. I got in a lot of trouble because what I did was...
I did it for a long time. I did it for a couple of years. You got into trouble? I got in a lot of trouble. I did it for a few years. And so I knew everyone on my route. And I told them I could give them like a huge discount. I forget the exact number, but they had to pay me cash. Oh, no. Like the people buying the newspaper? The people buying the newspaper because I was the one that would give them the slip saying it's time for them to re-up for the next year's worth of papers or however long. And I'd go, hey, if you pay me cash –
it's half off or whatever. And they're like, okay. And then they'd pay me cash. And then I would just go to the grocery store, put a quarter in and then take all of the newspapers for the day. Oh, there it is. There it is. And then go and just give them their paper. Genius. Yeah. It was pretty awesome. How old are you at this point? 13. Oh, okay. Wow. So you were posing as a paper boy, basically, like you had nothing to do with them. I saw it. Some people, I only did it to the people that I felt comfortable enough to
proposing this and saying to lie to anyone that I feel like I could truly, uh, trick. It was a lot of grandmas, grandpa. Yes. Anyone old feeble minded. Yeah. I guess my question is, did you have, did you have any affiliation with the actual paper or were you just running like in your own lane? No, I, I was, I started with the paper and then I, I segued into a kind of a gray area where technically I am, I am giving them papers. Yeah.
They are getting the same newspaper. Hey, man, I don't know if you know about newspaper, but it's a black and white industry, man. We don't play in the gray area. You killed the industry, brother. Hey, sorry, Blake. Oops.
I thought you were like, was he affiliated? Like, did you write for the newspaper? Did you, uh, it was the daily divine. You would just, I just want to get my wrap my heads around this, but you, you would give heads. Yeah. I got a few of them. Okay. Dang. Okay. It's getting pornographic. They would order the paper and then you would just let their subscription phase out and then write up your own draft slips. Well, I was the, they like, this is intricate. I was in charge. Yes. Of giving the slip around saying, okay,
hey, you can sign up for another year's worth of paper for however much money. Yeah, and you made the price. Yeah, and then I was like, but for half off, if you give me cash, you'll get your paper every day. And they're like, yeah, okay. Adam, you're a fucking cool dude, bro. That is your hottest scheme to date. That is sick. You're a business, man. I'm a business, man.
Yo, so what is this? You're on like a bicycle, you guys? Or all like riding bikes and throwing the newspaper out at five in the morning? Rollerblades. Yes, 90s as fuck. Rollerblading my ass off. So then you have like a messenger bag with how many? I mean, how do you break this down? Because where I grew up, men driving cars through the newspaper out at the houses. That started to happen. It was a lot of bicycling for me with front and back.
And then I would have to go back halfway through and reload. How many people? How many houses? I want to say like 80, something like that. Wow. I think I had about between 60 and 120. Like 150 was the most. It was like when we got the whole neighborhood. But I would roller blade with it like unfolded and fucking fold them while I was blading and then throw them with like rubber bands. Blader boy. Yeah.
I actually did mine as a team with my mom. We rolled around in the Mazda minivan, and I would pop out the side door on my rollerblades because we were doing like seven routes at once. We were running the block. Yeah. Right. You had a lot of papers. I think you were like 300 or 400 papers or something like that, right? Yeah, it was crazy. My mom was stacking cash and passing it down to me. Actually, I remember it truly sucking. By the time you got –
um because i did it till i was like 14 until i think i was like 15 ish that's too old right yeah it was a little old and you were like the weirdo old guy and the nine-year-olds were what's your deal man i mean i'm trying to have like a weekend now like your weekend shot yeah that was really tough yeah so this was during the weekend not the week every day it was seven days a week because everybody gets their papers every day so like you'd have to deliver it by 6 30 monday through friday and then by like
7.30 on Saturdays and 8 on Sundays. That was like when you'd have to have all the papers in by, by, in my hood. It gave me like a true, like triggering feeling of the sound of an alarm clock like that. Yeah.
If I would hear that on shows, I would start to shake and convulse. It fucked with me. It was a big job, man. Every fucking day you had to deliver the paper. But now that I think about it, when we were doing it on Rollerblades, this was like exactly at the time when we were, maybe this is a California thing. Were you guys ever into roller hockey? That shit was. Yeah. Yeah. I played a bunch of that.
Yeah, the movie Brink was very popular. Brink? Which one was Brink? The rollerblading movie. I just remember Airborne. Yeah, Airborne is the movie that I remember too, but I think I've seen Brink, but I don't recall it. And I might be out of pocket. I don't know if I kind of pulled that from the old back brain. Might have made a movie up there. I think that's real.
You guys remember Rollerhawk, right? Hey, I'd watch some Rollerhawk. It was Christian Slater and who else was in it? Matt Dillon. Dude, if there was a movie where there was a hawk playing roller hockey and it was called Rollerhawk, I'd be down with that. That would be so tight.
I'm just saying. Hey, it takes a champ to stay in line. Brink, 1998. Yeah, inline skates. Inline skates, yes. Clever play on words. Love it. I don't know if that is a good play on words. What does that even mean? It takes a champ to stay in line? I think it thinks it's a play on words, but what's the play on words? Right. Yeah. Who wrote the movie? Yeah, you know what? Fuck Brink.
Airborne for life. I would never not rep for Airborne, but Brink, you can suck it. Airborne was one of the best movies. Is Gleaming the Cube rollerblading? Or is Gleaming the Cube BMX? That's a skateboarding one. Hmm.
Gleaming the Cube is Christian Slater skateboarding. The only thing that rivals baseball movies are extreme sports movies. They're so good. They're so good. No. What, war movies? The only thing that rivals them? Yeah, you brought up baseball movies like they're at the top of the heap right now. Like, that's...
That's super weird, bro. I don't know. I feel like ice cream. Are you saying specifically movies? Yeah, specifically movies, man. Baseball is one. Let's zero in here for a second. So let's zero in on baseball movies, period. What are the top off-the-hook baseball movies? Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams. Rookie of the Year. Rookie of the Year.
Bull Durham. Bull Durham. The Natural. Angels in the outfield. The Natural. Major League Two. Major League, yes. Major League One's kind of whack.
Are these in separate categories even within baseball movies? Like, are we really going to compare Field of Dreams with Angels in the Outfield? Both supernatural... Fucking Sandlot? Yes. Yes, right. So what I'm saying is the Sandlot more of like a Rookie of the Year Angels in the Outfield thing. I think it's a big blanket. It's a big blanket. And everyone can snuggle up underneath this thing. It's baseball movies. Sure. What's the number one? What's the best baseball movie? Major League? Rookie of the Year. Rookie? Hey, look.
Bull Durham is probably the best movie, right? Little Big League? I never got into Bull Durham, and then I watched it again, and I didn't get into it again.
Oh, you didn't grow up watching it. I saw it when I was young, but I did not constantly watch it. Okay. I think my favorite baseball movie of all time is the Sandlot. Yeah. Sandlot is my favorite. Yeah. Sandlot's amazing. I just have to like keep it real like that. I feel like I pull from that film a lot even now. Like it affected me and just like it had a spirit that was so much fucking fun. For me, it's basketball. Yeah.
Basketball is so good, though. I know. Well, that could be both. That could be a baseball and basketball movie. Basketball is actually wildly underrated, I would say. Oh, you know what movie we should talk about a little bit on the pod? Uh-oh. Is?
Paramount Plus's very own Workaholics movie. Hell yeah. Are you kidding me? But do you guys think it's going to be better than a baseball movie? I think we have to have baseball elements. Sure. Yeah, I want to talk about that. I would like it to be like a softball. And here's my pitch. It's an employee versus staff game. So it's Jillian and Mary Beth. Employee versus staff? Staff.
What is that? Employers? That's the first big plot twist. That's the first big like aha moment. Hey, we're pitching on it, guys. Okay? Right, right, right, right. This is a safe space. First big aha moment. Wait a minute. Employees are staff. The big turn. 20 minutes in. We're like, what? So everybody listening out there, this is just a little window into when we break some stories down. This is what Adam's bringing to the table.
Back in the workaholics days, it'd be like, yo, so what if we get to the office, right? So then we're at the office, which is basically home. Yeah.
And we're like, uh-huh. Okay. Wow. It's the office versus the workplace. Yeah. Really good. Are you employee or are you staff? I'm saying we could have a Sandlot style. If we want to do, we love the Sandlot. We're saying that's the best. Blake says that baseball movies are number one. So if we're saying Sandlot is number one of baseball movies, that means to Blake. My favorite. Yep. My favorite. It's the best and greatest movie of all time. Sandlot is how we've kind of broke it down. Right.
It's good. So maybe the Workaholics movie is we're just doing, it's basically Sandlot, but it's employees versus Salas. Versus staff. Yeah. Right. We know who staff is now. Hey, man, I like it. I feel like I do know who everybody is. Like, Adam, you're definitely the catcher, right? Yeah.
Fast talking catcher. For sure. Home run hitter. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That guy was awesome. Are you the new kid with the long hat, Blake? Who like... With the long bill? Yeah. Sorry. What did I say? Long bill. Yeah. Ah. Oh, the guy who moved into the new town? Mm-hmm. I'm James Earl Jones. Yeah.
Yeah. You're the old blind man next door. Babe Ruth played baseball with me. The best. Oh, the best. He was a nice guy. It was the best. Where's my dog? Oh, man. I think I know who Kyle is. Benny the Jet Rodriguez. Kyle, you're welcome, dog. I know you like that. Kyle's the dog.
I'm the jet? Kyle's the dog. You're going to put on a costume? I think you're the jet. You're the jet. I mean, man, fucking dude, 10-year-old me is flipping out right now. Like, yes, I'm the jet. I'm the fucking jet. Hey, 37-year-old you can also flip out a little bit. Yeah, because you know what? The jet, you know where he lands? He lands in pro ball, man.
Stealing fucking home, baby. Stealing home. MLB, baby. Dodger baseball. Guys, hang on. I hate to break it to you, but Jillian's going to be the jet, okay? We're flipping it. It's 2020. Wait, hold on a minute. She creates women's professional baseball. I like that. And that's where the movie ends. Okay, good. Wait, what the hell? Kyle, you just lost your part to Jillian. This is Paramount Plus, not Paramount Minus. That's what I bring to the table. Wait, what the hell? I was just celebrating the...
Casting of the chat. Hey, I'm sorry. I cast. I threw that out there and he immediately had a better pitch and we have to go with that now. So wait, where did I land then? Kyle, you can be Emilio Estevez. Yeah, I think you are Squints. Oh, you're yeah, yeah. Or no, Bill's probably yeah, yeah. Squints is the guy who goes forever. Yeah, Squints is pretty dope. Dude, Squints is tight, man.
Is Emilio Estevez not in that? No, that's Mighty Ducks. What are you talking about? The dad is... The dad's fucking... What's his name? Asshole! What's that guy's name? Standard comedian. 90s MTV commercials. Pauly Shore. Dennis Leary. Dennis Leary. The one and only. Oh, yeah. But they go have a catch and it's a good scene. He's got a good scene in that flick. I was always scared of Dennis Leary as a kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You were afraid of Dennis Leary. I get that. Dennis Leary's face. Yeah, he's like a scary looking guy. It was weird to me that he was the stepdad. I'm like, when I first watched that movie, I remember thinking, oh, he's going to beat his stepson.
Like he looks like a mean stepdad. You were just waiting for the turn where he... I was ready. I think I'd seen like... Radio Flyer. Yeah, Radio Flyer around the same time and was like, well, I know what this movie is. Damn, that movie was fucked up. I thought it was a lighthearted baseball movie, but it turns out...
mean looking face is going to beat the shit out of this kid and then it's going to be sad and he finds solace with his team of ragtag group of baseball friends. Yeah, buddy. Are you reading the VHS box? Yeah.
That's the workaholics movie, dude. We just wrote it. It's Sandlot Mises' Radio Flyer. Dang, okay. I think that's why they cast him, though, because they were like, oh, this guy looks scary. There's no way these kids will connect to him. He'll scare the kids. We're Disney. We have to scare them up top. I do wish it was like Gilbert Gottfried originally, who was like, don't touch my baseball. Yeah.
He was the James Earl Jones. Wait, you're going down to the pot? We got to recast this, too. It is weird that the new kid, he gets there. His stepdad, who they've obviously been together, his mom and stepdad, a little while. And he collects baseballs and baseball paraphernalia. He's never played catch with this kid. This kid has never played catch.
Why do you think they've been together for a long time? Yeah, I thought it was a relatively new relationship. Well, they've been dating long enough that they now are married and moved in with each other. Like, you'd think in the courting process he would have thrown a baseball with this fucking kid. Goddamn, he just ignored him for a solid year straight. Right. Dude, you don't know. I think he worked a lot. This is the 50s. I think he was always at work. For sure. Okay. I blame the mom. Okay.
Yeah. Huh? I feel like he should have gotten out there and thrown, because then he showed up at this new town, looked like an asshole, didn't know how to throw a baseball. Come on now. Yeah.
That was the whole thing, though. His stepdad went out and taught him how to throw a ball. It's like, you know. He also had no interest in it. I don't remember this part. But he had a solid year to throw a fucking baseball with this kid. We don't know that. We don't know how long it was. I don't believe that's ever disclosed. The kid didn't have interest in it either because at the end, isn't he like, you like baseball, right? No, he loves baseball. What? At the very end of the movie, he is a sportscaster.
He does the play-by-play for the Dodgers, and Benny the Jet is playing for the Dodgers. Right. Does he like baseball at the beginning of the movie, or does he just go to the backyard and see these kids playing baseball, and is like, all right, I got to jump in? Yeah, I think that's what it is, an attempt to play to have friends. Because he's wearing the dumbass hat, right? He doesn't know what he's doing. Yes, yes. He's a fish out of water when it comes to the baseball diamond. I believe that's right. But his mom...
had a little something with baseball. She like, that's rookie of the year. The mom is the pitcher. Oh, oh, right, right, right, right, right. That's the floater. The floater. It's the most epic moment in cinema history. That reveal blew my mind, dude. Okay. All right.
I didn't even get why it was a big deal. She was like, I was the one who played baseball. I'm like, what? Why didn't you just tell him? Because she was like glorifying his father who he didn't know. But like then she, yeah, it was so beautiful. It was so beautiful. I guess it's a hella deep commentary on what women had to do back in the day. The biggest reveal of all time.
Come on, man. It was like that and usual suspects, dude. I was like, what? Rosebud and then the floater. The floater. It comes out of nowhere and I swear it still gives me chills. Kaiser say so? In usual suspects? Kaiser say so? Kaiser say so.
Hey, because Kaiser says so. You're fucking grounded. Kaiser says so. What is his name? It's something like that. Kaiser Sosa. Kaiser Sosa. Sosa? It's Kaiser Sazo. Sosa. Sosa. No. Sosa, that's Keith Chief. It's Kaiser Sazo. It is Kaiser Sazo. No, it's Kaiser Sosa. I think I said it right. It's Kaiser Sosa. It's Kaiser Sosa. Kaiser Sosa. Yes, we're playing. Sosa, what it is then? Yeah, Sosa it. Sosa it. Sosa it. Sosa it. Sosa it. Sosa it.
Kaiser, so say it. You guys are so say whatever you want to say. What was that one? You guys are so say so. Damn. You guys are so say whatever you want to say. Hey, and by the way, guys.
The workaholics movie just wrote itself. Yeah, we got it. The end. Let's just show up to set, be dressed for six weeks of playing baseball because that's, that's all we have right now. Have on some comfortable shoes. We're ready to go. Cleats. Can we get a cleat sponsor up in the mix? I'm showing up in rollerblades cause we're making a rollerblade movie. Okay. I'm going to be wearing pony rubber cleats. I,
I like if we show up dressed for the movie we want to make. Nobody reads the script. Well, there is no script. We have to write the script. There will be no script. We just have to show up day one, dress as the movie we want to make, and work backwards from there. Yeah, we'll just pad the schedule, improv the flick. Okay.
Ders is in a Speedo. You know this. Yeah, we're shooting for 120 days. We will find something. There will be a movie here. So I'm still stuck on the fact that we just said Sandlot is the greatest film of all time? No, that was only because of the caveat of Blake saying that baseball movies are unarguably at the top of the heap. But we didn't agree with that. They are tied with extreme sports. Right, yeah. We didn't agree on that shit. Okay.
I don't know. I feel like there's other genres of movies. Tied with extreme sports. Okay, that's a good – what is your favorite genre of movie? If it's not baseball movies. It's got to be porno, right? No? It's porno movies. Yeah. Porno movies. Come on. Outside of porno? Outside of baseball movies. Or within porno. Yeah.
Favorite genre within porno? Porno. Are we saying baseball porno movies? Gonzo. I guess I like Gonzo. I like POV, baseball porno movies. I like PMV, the professional music videos where it's set to actual music. Yo. Too much. Those are so game-changing. Dude, I love those 4K. I love the 4K pornos, to be honest. Too many Ks. What, with Oculus? I see Kyle's Oculus in the back. I know you've been watching some 3D porno.
Yeah, you got it. Please tell us. I haven't flipped it on yet, but you know. You got to have three deep holes now. Yeah, how many viruses are already on that Oculus after a week? It's clean as of right now, but- It's growing something. Oh, boy. Time ticks on. Time continues ticking, so we'll see. Oh, my God.
Oh, man. You're going to have your dick in an iPad in no time. Hey, remember when we thought we... I think it was season one, Workaholics. We thought we were going to create something, or we did create something for the show where it was like a fleshlight that goes into your iPad and then you watch movies that kind of like...
the picture of the iPad shows what you should be fucking, right? You watch the POV porno. But then we went online. We went online. It existed already. Oh, for sure. That was when we shared an office and we drew it on the board and we were like, we're going to be fucking millionaires.
Perverts are the most ingenious people alive. If whatever you can think of, there's a pervert out there who's already done it. Right. Did you guys know stilts were invented by a pervert who was trying to see over something? I actually did. Over the fence. It was invented by a peeping Tom. The automobile, the automobile was invented. Yeah.
By a dude who was so horny he was writing letters with somebody and had to get to that town. He had to get there quicker. No, dude was like, I want to fuck a giraffe, dude. Let me get stilts.
Get up in this giraffe. Yes, I'm sorry. That is the story. So not just a regular pervert. It was a... Bestiality guy. Bestiality. Okay. Bestiality guy. All right. Work, girl. You nasty. All right. Boy, you nasty. Yeah. Like we said, every genius was a pervert.
Right.
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Blake, what's going on with the board today? Do you not have it today? Yeah, I was just thinking about that. What do you got drop-wise, man? What do you got? We're like 20 minutes in. I haven't heard a single tickle of the... What do you mean? I've been dropping. Do you guys not hear them? No. You haven't dropped anything. We haven't heard one. We've had nothing, dude. Oh, shit. I've been dropping them. Is it not going through? Todd is saying you got to connect it. Uh-oh. Let's see the chat. What? You got to connect it, says the producers. That is so sad. I've had some gold. No, you haven't.
So that's why you've been cracking up over there? Like, you've been laughing extra hard, so you're the only one that can hear it. Oh. So you guys didn't hear me play Who Let the Dogs Out for Durz's alarm clock? Oh my god, no. I don't even know what you're talking about alarm clocks, really. Oh my god. Might be the first time we go back in post and add fun sounds. Oh my god. That makes me so sad. I've been absolutely fucking killing it. Did you think we were blowing you off?
Yeah, because normally we laugh at the drops. So you thought we just weren't into it at all today. Oh, I thought you guys were like I was whiffing over here. You were. Yeah, you did. It's in an extreme way. Yeah, you whiffed the whole damn thing. You didn't even bring it to the party. Damn, I'm sorry. Fuck. Well, connect it now. What are you doing? I did. Well, then hit us with something, goddammit. I have been. Is it not working? What the fuck?
fuck is happening? Oh, we hate to do this to you live and on air. We're sorry, people. Oh my gosh, I am embarrassed. What is that? What is that on your face, Blake? Oh, I know exactly what happened. What is that on your face? Yolk. Is that? What is that? Yolk. Fuck, dude. Is that egg on your face, Blake?
That sucks. Looks like you got some yolk on your face, bud. That looks like some yolk. I'm so sad. You know what, though? This kind of thing only makes us stronger or makes us look bad. Nice Bieber. There we go. We got the goody. We got Mr. Nielsen. Dude, that makes me so sad. I was killing it on the board, I swear to God. That's my kind of Nielsen rating right there. I was wondering, but also didn't care. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't really like it.
Yeah, God. Obrey. Yeah, turn it off. Turn it off. When you were talking about waking up to music, I played Disturbed. I played Who Let the Dogs Out. It was really cracking over here. Should we redo it? Oh, yeah. Like my mom would come in and just turn on my stereo and turn it way up. No, it was actually kind of different. It was super loud classical music like fucking Beethoven. Who let the dogs out? Oh.
You're right. You were killing it. Oh, man. Yes, because I liked all that stuff. Thank you for that. Thanks, man. I wish I woke up like that. I'm going to have to re-edit my soundboard in. Damn, that sucks. It's okay. It's all right. It's all right. It happens. Sorry again. Again, apologies to the listeners out there. We had to do that live and on the spot, and we apologize for that. But you can see what you did miss, and it was awesome. Perfect. Perfect.
There you go. It was perfect. My bad, guys. Damn. I'm really sorry. Yeah, it's okay. That's all right. I'm glad you finally got there. I got a question for you guys because I'm out here. It's fucking cold as shit. And where are you again for our listeners at home? I'm in Canada, Toronto, the Atlantic Ocean.
Northeast. A lot of people call it the six. Oh, yeah. The six. Why do they call it the six? With your woes. Yeah, they say it's the six. Have you been running through the six without your woes? Without. So you have no woes.
I don't know what you're talking about. Really? We are your woes, and you've been running through the six without them. Without them. Wow. I've been running through the six without my woes. Damn. You don't get this reference at all, Kyle. No, not at all. Sorry. Have you heard of Drake? Have you listened to popular music in the last eight years?
That's a rough one. Probably not. Probably not. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And fair enough. Apologies. There's this guy, his name is Drake, and he's kind of- Yes, of course. One of the biggest musical artists right now. That's right. Yes, and he's from Toronto. Yes. And he is always- Why do they call it The Six? I don't really know why. Is it an area code or- Dude, I'll look into it. I'll ask. I'll ask the people on set, and I'll report back unless you know. We'll ask-
Ask Drake. He's up there. Yeah, I'll talk to Drake. You know how you can find him? Just look for the city. There'll be somebody running with a lot of woes through the six. Running woes. Just follow the pack of woes. Okay, woes. I'm looking for woes. And woes, let's break it down here. Woes means like homies or like chicks? Guys, okay, if you don't know, I know. But if you don't know, I can't help you.
What is it? What are you guys even talking about? I wish you could help me because I don't know. Oh, I can, but I'm not going to. Okay. Because I know what woes are. Okay. Well, then if you're not by you not helping us, does that make you a woe or a non-woe? Oh, shit. And there's no way to tell. What about a woe-dee? I'm not woeing into that trip. Okay. Oh, damn. What do you mean?
You're not woe-ing. So anyways, guys, it's cold as fuck up here. How's the weather on the fucking West Coast? How is it? Okay, let's talk weather, baby. I want to hear about it. It's fucking gorge, man. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Yeah, it is so warm. It's perfect. Is it? Perfect. It truly is. Perfect. Perfect. Great. Are you outside in a t-shirt? Yeah.
It's been a solid 70s. You're outside in t-shirts. Fuck me, man. So tight. In the pool this morning. Straight up. I took a nap in the grass today. Oh my God. In the warm sun. It was beautiful. Nice. I want it bad. The weather, the cold, it just, it freezes you. You know, I don't know how you guys grew up in this. It's like, holy shit. No, never going back. Neither of us grew up in...
They're not from Toronto. So it's a little different. Yeah, but it was snowing in Nebraska. It snowed in Nebraska. It snowed in Chicago, right? Chicago was this cold. Correct. Yeah, you're fucking dealing with it. That shit is too much. And what's the temperature there? Because it gets cold as fuck in Chicago. It's got the lake effect. I was outside at night in like minus 8, but that's like minus 8 Celsius. So that's like what? 18 or something? No, it's not minus 8. Minus 18? Yeah.
Minus 8. What is that? But then Celsius would be like, that's like negative 30. Yeah. No, it's like negative 18. Or it's like, sorry, it's just 18 degrees Fahrenheit. Negative 8. I think that you did some bad math. Zero Celsius is 32. You're right. That would be 17.6. Yes. That is correct. Which actually...
Pretty warm day. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah. As far as like the butthole of winter goes. No, that's cold. That's cold. I'm with you. Yeah, it's tough. That is cold. I do miss like Runza's, which are a restaurant specifically in Nebraska. I know them. Oh, yeah. Shout out Runza. They would sell a cup of chili.
for however cold it was outside, like every Thursday in February. And so sometimes it would be like three pennies.
I'm sorry. Three degrees. And you got a free cup of chili. The price of the chili would be the temperature. Would be the temperature. Yes. Okay. That's cool. So you're kind of getting something for under a quarter. Like no matter what, you're getting a bowl of chili. Yeah, it was great. So if it's negative or people like clamoring, they're like, yo, you owe me a quarter. Negative 25 degrees. I'm sure that was Penny Devine, my mom. She was like, actually. She was a problem. Look at
Look at this. You owe me three cents. I mean, don't bury the headline, though. What was tell us about Runza's? What the fuck they are? Because they blew my mind when I had them. Oh, yeah. Blake had a good time with them. Oh, yeah, dude. I had those things when I went back there. Yeah, that's right. What is it? Meat pies? Yeah, it's basically a meat pie. It's pasties. A meat Twinkie. Yeah, it's a kind of a hot pocket, but it's ground beef.
shredded cabbage and onions and cheese. And it sounds gross. Is that not a pierogi or a pasty or whatever? I think it's pretty similar, but it's fast food. It's a fast food joint. That's so tight. What is it wrapped in? Is it like a pie? What is it wrapped in? I don't remember. Is it more spongy? It's breaded. It's like a hot pocket. Flaky. Yeah, it's like a flaky. Flaky.
I had meat filled Twinkie in my head and I was imagining it. Well, that's a good way to explain it when people don't know. I think Hot Pockets is probably the best way to explain it. Oddly, a pervert also discovered these things. You know what he was trying to make? For sure. He was trying to fuck something. He was like, it actually tastes pretty good. You know, he was sticking his dick into a Twinkie and was like, meat filled Twinkie? I've got an idea. Yeah, his mom called him, you got your meat in a Twinkie? And he's like, mom, that doesn't...
Wait a second. You got your meat in a Twinkie again? Runza. What did you say? Can I borrow $20,000 to open a restaurant? What are you talking about? What are you going to call it? I'll call it Runza's. Because when you open the door, I had to runza to the bathroom and take my dick out of a Twinkie. Dad.
Sure. That being said, Runza rocks. I don't want Runza to listen to this and think that I don't respect the Runza. Love Runza. No, respect the Runza. Oh, yeah. No, all praise be to the Runza. Gotta respect the Runza. You gotta respect the Runza.
If you open a Runza's in West Hollywood, how long would it last? No, in afternoon. You couldn't even open it before it would close. One minute, right? Yeah, totally. Absolutely. It would not work in Southern California. It's got to be a very cold climate in order for you to be like... Isn't that a damn shame? Yeah, they're like, hey, how much is the bowl of chili today? It's $112. It's $112. $112.
huh, better be a good-ass bowl of chili, man. Oh, my God. Yo, so remember that place in Hollywood or West Hollywood across from the DGA, Kyle? What's that, Breck? The Griddle. The Griddle. Yeah, the Griddle. That had good-ass pancakes. Oh, yeah. They're known for, obviously, like pancakes and waffles, but they had, like, this fucking crazy chili menu. And I hadn't been there in years, and I was meeting somebody. The cost.
cost of diarrhea. I was like, yo, I'm going to go there and I'm going to like just crush some chili because a good chili is legit, right? Like when you get a good chili. No, fuck yeah. I love some good chili. So I get in there. I look at they have up on the wall. They have these like these plates that have like the names of the chilies up on them and with like descriptions and I'm like savoring it. The waitress comes over. She's like, hey, what's up? You've been here before. I'm like, it's been years. I'm ready to get some XYZ chili or whatever it was. And she goes, we don't have chili. And
I was like, what? She goes, we don't have chili. We haven't had it for a few years. And I was like, you have all the plates up. And she goes, we kept the plates up. And I'm like, but so why? Why keep the plates up? Because the guy who made all the chili died. Oh, fuck. And I was giving her a little bit of like, I think you should take the plates down. She's like, I think we should keep them up because he died. And I was like, yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, you've got to keep them up. They have to stay up. They're staying up. Yeah.
I mean, they couldn't get another chili guy? I don't know. I think it was like a thing. Get another chili guy. I agree. Dude, I'm with you. I couldn't say it. Honestly, though, the chili business over there lived and died with that man. Yeah, it really did. I love a good bowl of chili. I'll say, you know, Wienerschnitzel has a pretty good chili in my humble opinion. Yeah.
Weiner schnitzels got good. Chili dogs. Yeah, the chili dogs are kind of bomb. I remember you guys loved weiner schnitzel. Fuck yes. Oh, yeah. Are you guys saying weiner schnitzel? Schnitzel, yeah. Schnitzel. Yeah, the schnitz. Weiner schnitz. You got to eat at the schnitz. I remember I was going to one of my first ever auditions was for 30 Rock.
Diarrhea. I was going to NBC to audition for it, and I stopped at that Wienerschnitzel that was right across the street. Yep. Still there, right? Yeah. And just got there early. I was like, I'm just going to run my lines before I go into the audition. And just...
pounded some wienerschnitz yeah good for you went into this audition I farted so bad on the way into I was like trying to time it I was seeping and so I was like they called me in and I was like well I'll let it go here so I don't bring it in so I was like I don't want this to come out in the room
It followed me in. People were actively going, Jesus Christ. Oh, what is that smell?
And obviously with me, I'm the only person that just walked into the room. You're fanning with your sides, pretending like you're just gesticulating and talking like, yeah, it's hot out there, I tell you. Traffic's going this way and that way. That's the worst. Bad fart choices. Didn't fuck it. Yeah. I'd be tired if it was like that's exactly what they were looking for. They're like trying to cast like the Tracy Morgan type character. And they're just like, well, I don't know. Tracy was great. But that kid that farted.
That's kind of the exact character that we need on the show. A guy who's not afraid just to have full seepage on the way into the audition. Hey, hold on. Stop right there. Did you just fart? Did you fart on your way in here? Oh, my God. No. Tell us the truth. Yes, I did. You got the fart. You've got the fart. Let me see your head shot. Yeah.
Hold on. We think you might have to part. Let us see your headshot real quick. Do you want me to say the lines? No, sir. You've said enough. No. You got it. Your ass did the talking for you today. Congratulations. You got the part.
Oh, classic. I do like the idea that they completely were ignoring it. They're like, I'm sorry you didn't get the fart. Ah, part. Anyways, smell you later. See you. Bye. Smell you later. Like the Christmas Vacation movie where it's like, ah, it's a titty bit nipply out there. Everyone just keeps talking. Love jokes like that. Yeah, those are the best form of jokes. Okay.
All right. Wait, second to what, though? He's going to say second to something else, and then that's what's going to be on top, and we'll talk about it. So what is it second to? What's the next best form of joke for you, Blake? Nice beaver.
Yes, wordplay, baby. Yeah, puns, baby. Yes, the pun. Oh, my. I'm a punsman. Punsman. Rapunzel. Oh, yeah, but yes, Wayne or Mitchell, Chile is what's up. Also, they are the only people who...
Remember my birthday every year with an email. So shout out to Wienersnitchel. Hey, I remember your birthday. I think it's coming around the corner, isn't it? It is. It is. Just around the river bend. Wait, so that's a meat-based chili, correct? Yes, no beans. A no-bean chili. I can't get down with that.
No, I need some beans as well. Especially when it's like soupy. I'm not – I can't fuck with that, dude. And that they're like – Yeah, I hear you. Like when it pours, when a chili like evenly pours, not for me. Nope. It's got to climb. I hear you. You got to have the beans. You got to have the beans up in it. I need beans. I actually prefer a bean chili to a meat chili. I hear you. Yeah.
But obviously a meat and bean is the... My mom calls herself, and she's the only person in our family that calls her this, but she's been calling herself this for years and it kind of has stuck. She calls herself the bean queen. Oh.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, because every family event, she would bring baked beans and would be like, uh-oh, uh-oh, the bean queen's here. Right. And then it's just like Bush's baked beans that she warmed up, that she's like, I'm the bean queen, that she added extra bacon to or something. That's funny, though. So she just really wanted that. She just wanted the rhyming name. She wanted a rhyming nickname. She wanted that, yeah, fun title. You come from funny stock. Yeah.
You really do. Mama got jokes. It's the bean queen and hot dog dad. Hot dog dad. Hot dog dad. Hot dog dad. I love it. They're wearing matching shirts. I love all that. I think that's great. I'm down for that. I'll have another. Did your parents have anything that they really hung their hat on, such as beans? No.
My parents. Yeah. Were they like, did you, was your dad like a, uh, I'm the grill Meister. Oh yeah. My dad had an outdoor grill. He still has it. He crushed it. As opposed to, uh, the indoor. Get them. Exactly. Dude, you don't let anything slide.
Why not just have it indoors? KFC? Does KFC count? I think you guys are well aware that my stepdad makes a mean batch of beef jerky. Hello. Oh, yeah, that's correct. That is actually correct. If he called himself, hey, I'm the jerk man, I'd be like, yeah, you're the jerk man. I love it.
Because it's actually great. Meat maestro. My mom calls him that. I don't know why. She calls him the beef blaster, which I never really thought about until right now. Meat maestro beef blaster. She calls him the beef slanger. Or is it banger? Beef banger. Sleef banger.
She calls him Dr. Ouchy Meats. I don't get it. I eat it and it doesn't hurt me at all. That's funny. Dr. Ouchy Meats. I'm crying. Mommy, why do you call Daddy Dr. Ouchy Meats? He makes beef jerky and ever since then he's made beef jerky.
You never remember it until you overheard her say it on the phone. And he's like, yeah, I'm drying meat all weekend. You going to help me, Blake? Well, you'd be my little helper. And you realize he has no idea what he's doing.
Why don't you do this while I go inside and help your mom with something? The doctor's been called. Dr. Ouchy Meats is on the case. Dr. Ouchy Meats. I don't know if I'm crying because I'm laughing or because it's so true. Seriously, let's unpack that. Let's unpack that. Honey, why'd you say I make beef jerky? I don't know. What do you want me to tell them? What you're packing, hon? Well, now you have to start. You want me to tell them about the fun long?
It can't be that hard. Mom, did you say we're having a full long-term dinner? Now we've got to go buy hot dogs. I've got to go to Wienerschnitzel. Get some chili. Swedish meatballs again. Get some runny chili. I need some little sweet balls. What? Swedish meatballs.
Wait, I think that's the number one joke form of when someone says something and then they have to make it up like, oh, Swedish meatball. They have to like double and triple down on it. I think that's right. I think that is my favorite joke form as well. Yeah. Shove your meatloaf down my throat. An old miscommunication. What was that? No, no. It's where you get caught saying something. It's not a miscommunication. They heard you, but then you need to cover. Sure. You bitch. What'd you just say?
It's a bit nipply. I wish. It's which sandwich is this? That's definitely tied with he's standing right behind me, isn't he? Which is the number one. Tied? It's a three-way tie.
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Are we going to talk about the whiteboard? Are we talking whiteboard here? Oh, damn. We got to get a picture of the whiteboard. We used to have a whiteboard. I have a photo of it somewhere. I posted it a while ago. Yeah. I think it got published on the NY Times, didn't it? Didn't it get published? Yeah.
It was in the Workaholics writers room. There were things that we tried to avoid, like joke forms we tried to avoid because they had been overdone. That were good in their time. Jokes that everyone fucking loved for 10 years, but now you're like, can we move on? Right? Yes. It was just like a board to look at to push yourself into new areas. Right. Yes. Just so we're not doing jokes that every other TV show was...
currently doing. But then it was so tempting because you'd look up and you'd be like, dang, standing behind me. He's standing right behind me. He's like, we got to get that in the scene. I'm not, not drunk. And by drunk, I mean, wildly sober. Right. When we turn that on its head with, uh, he's right behind me, isn't he? And then the person was like, no, he's right in front of you. Oh yeah. Yeah.
He's right behind me, isn't he? Adam, no, you're talking to him. He's in front of you. I still send some whiteboard candidates to our old showrunner, Kevin Etton. Oh, the man. Just when you're like, you keep hearing shit and you're like, oh, okay. So everyone says, cool, cool, cool. Now you're like, done. Whiteboard. If you write that in a script, it's like you just couldn't come up with anything on your own. Yeah.
Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. You're just regurgitating what you see and what you – Cool, cool, cool. And by the way, that's – it's fine. But if you're a writer and you're getting paid to like create shit, I feel like you should at least expect a little bit more of yourself. I agree with you. People are kind of flagrant about that on like Twitter and stuff too. Like you'll see like whatever, whatever, whatever, and then it will be like that's it. That's the tweet.
That's how they end the tweet. Right. That's it. That's the tweet. That's like meme culture, you know? But that's fine because those aren't professional comedians. I look at it – I see it that way. Sure. And when you're writing for something or putting it out there for everyone, you should be looking for new shit. Right. There you go. You should be looking for new shit. If fucking Chappelle came out and had a stand-up hour where he was like, and man, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Yeah.
Oh, my. Yeah. Chappelle. What are you doing, pal? It's science. Admittedly, though, if Chappelle did it, it would be funny. He would make it funny. Sure. Yeah, baby. Well, he would bend it. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He would bend it in an abstract way. Well, that's right. Yeah. And Dave, and I call him Dave. Dave just does that. Right. Yeah.
Dave Thomas. Yeah, Dave Thomas. What was it? I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Oh, you guys were talking Dave Thomas? I was talking Chappelle. No, no, no. Why? We're talking about funny people. Yeah, that's true. Dave Thomas. Dave Thomas took it. Is that Wendy's? That's Wendy's, right? Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, to answer your question, it's from Dodgeball. Originally. Yeah, that was it. That was what my question was. It is. What, barf in my mouth? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Yeah. I thought that was from Anchorman. No. It's probably from both. Everything else is from Anchorman. Yeah. Yeah.
You said it's science. I love lamp is from the, it's science. Yo, it's science had a run. Yo, let's have an anchorman quote off. Let's see who could go the longest. I can't. Milk was a bad choice. I feel like you're going to win. I feel like, Hey, you already won. You had a Trident. I miss your smell. Lamp. I miss your smell. We had a nice life.
What else? I want to be on you. The party in my pants. Mahogany. Very rich mahogany. Dude. Oh, dude. 100%. It works 100% of the time. 60% of the time. Whatever the fuck that one was. There we go. Dude, that Anchorman owned like... Fuck.
A whale's vagina. Santiago. It owned people's joke brains in like popular, like just humans out there in the world. It owned part of their joke brains for 10 years. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, dude. It was inescapable. They killed a dog. Oh, they didn't kill a dog. I was going to say they killed a dog in that movie and we killed a dog in our movie and got all kinds of shit for it. But they did. They did kill it. They punted it over the bridge. No, they actually. Oh, yeah, Jack Black. At the very end of the movie.
the dog comes back alive. Yes. They like did reshoots because that was the note that everyone, they're like, I really liked the movie, but then they killed the dog. And so they had reshoots where they. That's when Jack Black said, that's how I roll.
Yes. That's how I roll. Which also had a fucking life of its own after that. Yeah. So good. That's how I roll. What a great moment. Oh, man. That was a great flick. Super funny. Yep. I do think it is funny to see an animal flying through the sky. Like, what is that? When you just see it fully splayed out spinning, it is funny. Yeah.
I totally forgot they brought the dog back at the end of the movie. Like, that makes sense. I brought my dog back. We couldn't do that. We would have to bring back a ghost. Well, I always had that pitch for Game Over Board that the dog is reassembled with a Skintendo suit, so it's a little bionic dog. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, shit. Franken-Waney style? Yeah. That's a great call. Daniel Stern? We'll save that. We'll just do that for the Workaholics movie. It won't make any sense, but...
Right, right. The guy's favorite movie is obviously Game Over Man. Oh, that's tight. They're all playing their favorite characters. And then, Blake, what song plays when the dog arrives? Oh. I like how he drops an O.
Oh. My smoothest friend. Oh. Oh, this? I wish Blake did stand-up and he'd do the setup and then before every punchline he'd go, Oh. Oh.
They were twins. Oh, they were twins. That is actually pretty funny. Oh, that's why they call it duct tape. The stand-up who spends half the show trying to remember his jokes. You're so high, you forget your first line. That's really good. Been there. Oh, I remember the second one. Oh, I was on cloud nine.
Hey, and if you're listening, write the setup to all the punchlines I just said. I'd love to really get a kick out of hearing what you come up with. I think that'd be the tightest of buttholes. Milk was a bad idea. It's science. Afternoon delight. I'm so excited! It was the pleats.
What is that one? It's the pleats. What the hell is that one? I don't know that. Is it that from it? Dude, the Anchorman quote off is still going. I feel like that's something, the pleats. What was it though? It's like, he's talking about his dick. He's got a boner. It's like, it's the pleats. I think that might've been, you were watching it and fell asleep during it. And then you had an Anchorman dream. That's my Mandela. That's my Anchorman Mandela. Anchorman Mandela. Oh,
Dude, oh my God. What's crazy is it actually works. Like it actually works. Oh my God. I'm melting right now.
Anchor Mandela effect. Somebody get on it. You got to make that YouTube video. 50% of the time, it works every time. That's the joke. I remember it like that. I remember the joke like that. Anchor Man Mandela effect. 50% of the time, Mandela's dead 100% of the time.
It's chemistry. Jazz flute. It's geometry. Oh, misquoting it? Yeah. It's chemistry. It's from Anchorman. Boy, that escalated pretty moderately. Brick had a pitchfork. Yeah.
This cologne is sex leopard. Yeah, yogurt was a bad choice. Yogurt was a bad choice. Chili was a bad choice. Anchor gems. Sex cougar. That's how I kick a dog off a bridge. San Francisco, a whale's pussy.
Anchor Mandela. That's how I cruise. Are you trying to say there's a fiesta in your trousers? Oh, man. Oh, my God. To the pleats party? To the pleats party? I love curtains. I love curtains.
Dude, arguably funnier. Arguably funnier. Yeah, somebody could argue that. Yeah, dude, hit it up, man. That's great. I do love – who came up with that when someone would say, hey, arguably – and you're like, yes, arguably. Anyone can argue anything. Duh. Like what the –
fuck? It was a person who loved to debate. Hey, he's arguably this. I'm not going to argue it. Let's go. You could. It's definitely taking a jab like right away. You could argue. Arguably, you're cool. I'm not going to argue. Let's get dinner, but you could say it. Anyway. It's all good. I agree. We could argue. I agree. Woo!
Is this the comedown? This is the comedown. Yeah, I legit hurt my stomach. You guys made me laugh so much. Can we see? Can we see those fucking ripped abs? Friendship. Wow. Friendship. Yes, friendship is running. It's bubbling tonight. Friendship is back. Yeah, our friendship is real percolating. It's boiling over. I was concerned, too, because I haven't been thinking about you guys at all lately.
Me too. I didn't even want to get on tonight. Still friends. Yeah. I was napping three minutes before the podcast. Yeah. Kyle's going to be beating his fucking meat with the Oculus Rift all night, and we had to throw a whole stick in the spokes. Yep. Oopsies. And yes, sir. Put you right off your beat-off bike. Yes, sir. Virtual masturbation. It's the best. Oopsies.
Whoopsies. Well, I was really looking forward to this. Well, love. Oh, good. Good job, Blake. Well, love. That's cool. Oh, my God. What do you got? What's on your schedule today, Blake, after the highlight, which
Which is this. I'm going to watch basketball. It's my favorite sport. Who you got? Who's playing tonight? Warriors-Lakers, baby. Let's go. Only one. Only one today. Yeah. Only one. Let's go.
Classic it is, Blake. Count it. But there was a, we should let it be known that there was a pre-pod Let's Go before we started recording. Yes, there was a, Blake gave us a Let's Go before we started to get us kind of pumped, ready to start recording. Yeah. He gave us a Let's Go.
You guys don't get to hear this, but before every podcast, Blake, he's got a clipboard. He gives us a little pep talk. A little pep. Yeah, it's good stuff. Thank you for that. And sometimes I need it. Today I needed it. So thank you. Well, I think you guys came on fire today and I'm just proud to know you. Coming on fire. You gotta come on fire. Dude, I always come on fire. I don't know how to take that compliment, but I think I know what you mean. Well said, man.
And I love it when all of those are just coming on fire. It's so sick. And you know what's crazy? No one's ever even said that about me, but it feels good to know that I come on fire.
It's really good. Y'all came on fire. I love just when all of us are together, we get on the pod, we come on fire. It's like a zip, zap, zop. This guy's coming on fire. His fire's coming. He's coming on fire! Awesome. It's just a good feeling. Coming on fire. Makes the pass. Damn, you guys fucking kind of roasted me. Hey!
He's coming on fire! You're in the hot seats. Can't buy a bucket. Burning others feels good. You took it today, Blake. You really took it. We're fucking roasting your ass. Well, I would like to apologize. What's up? Why? Are we there? Is it time for take backs and apologies? I think we're about there. We're going to milk it, so yeah. And you have one? I do. I have one. I would like to apologize to my boy Blake.
Oof. Not for the roast that we just did. You deserved that. Burn! But it was nice saying that we came on fire. That was very nice of you. It felt good. That was nice of you to say, but you deserved a little roasting for that. The highest praise. It's just a funny phrase. It was a funny catchphrase. I'd like to apologize for really calling you out on not having the soundboard because it was silent. You were over there. You were...
You were shaking, laughing at like every, in kind of weird moments when the rest of us were just kind of carrying on a conversation. And I look over at your little window and you're just shaking, laughing. And I'm like, something's happening over there. He's either fully checked out. He,
He either ate like a 50 milligrams of an edible and is just losing his mind. Right. Yeah. I'm just I'm listening to Dane Cook's comedy album in my head. Nice. Harmful of Thrallode.
Are you apologizing for ripping him up? Yeah, I'd like to apologize for calling him out for that. But we needed you to, or else we wouldn't have known. I think he needs to apologize. Yeah, what I do want is a fucking apology. Exactly. You do owe us. When we're coming on fire, everybody knows that we're coming on fire. And we came on fire, and Blake owes us an apology about something? Yeah.
Or maybe not an apology, maybe a take back. I take back the fact that I didn't check my gear beforehand, make sure everything was working. But that's not a take back. A take back is you want to undo something that you did as opposed to didn't. No? Or I don't know.
I'm your friend! Also, it's not like we want to write it for you. We just want you to come at us with some fire. Come on fire for us. Please come on fire for us. With the apology. Let's make this apology come on fire. Or was it an epic slam? Were you trying to make us feel stupid? Yeah, was it kind of a long con epic slam to have egg on our face? Yeah. Because if it is, I apologize. As jurors would say, yolk. Yeah. Have yolk on our face. Did you yolk us? Um...
You know, no, I think it's just a brain fart. I forgot to go into... Who let the dogs out? I'm still going to send it. I forgot to change my preferences. Let me tell you something. If you don't play the soundboard in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.
Well, next time it will be fully loaded, all Anchorman, and I apologize for what I did. Fully loaded. Not mad at it. I was going to say, can you not? Which is a whiteboard classic. I mean, admittedly, that would be a fun episode. Just one episode, all Anchorman. Man. I'm in. By the way, it'll be our highest rated episode, 100%. Totally. Like Stan Halen, the character in Workaholics.
Yeah. We had a character played by the very funny Will Greenberg. Yeah. Super funny guy. And we wrote him as a character of Stan Halen, a guy that just sort of just does Anchorman quotes and a guy that isn't funny in his own right, but just rehashes other people's funny bits. And we were like, oh, this guy's hilarious. It's like, obviously it's satire and humor.
And it was hands down the favorite character of like at least every fan. By the way, if you guys are out there and you love Stan Halen, we love Stan Halen. We do. And maybe we like him for different reasons. And that's fine. We are Stan Halen. Well, he's going to be in the movie. He hit me up. He hit me up and he was like, yo, so you're doing a movie. Stan Halen's a veil. Oh,
There we go. All right, all right, all right. Well, does he play baseball? Because everyone has to. It's baseball contingent. Yeah, he's a DH. I think he does. I think he does. I bet he does. All right. Well, then, yes, he's in. Done. It's that easy. Any other tapebacks, apologies, or epic slams, Kyle? Yes, I have a compliment for us.
I'd like to compliment all... I was actually thinking about this over the week. Are you reading? Yeah, you're reading. What are you doing? Well, I'm just looking at a notepad. Are you typing on your dick? Chill out. Hey. I can't. You know what? You know I can't chill out. I know. I know. And it's okay. Take that back. And that's what I love about you. And that's what I love about you. And I want to compliment us for complimenting ourselves.
It takes a lot to do that and just like, you know, boost ourselves up. Wait a second. What were you looking down at when you were like, I want to make a compliment? The word compliment. I'm looking at the word compliment. You wrote down compliment? Yes, I wrote down compliment. Were you going to do a joke about the word? What do you mean? I'm doing it right now.
Okay. All right. It's not a hell of weird. All right. Well, all right. Continue with the joke then. Yeah. Punchlines are like this, by the way. Oh, right. Oh, you know what I mean? Uh, it's written down here somewhere. Whatever. It's all good. It's all good. I just think we're doing a good job. I'm proud of us. And I just wanted to say that.
It's not a joke. Do you love him? Hey, Kyle, I'm with you, dude. I also think we're doing a great job. It's not a joke. It's a genuine compliment to us. We have like, what, 10, 11, 12, something like that, more episodes. And we're like, but who's counting? I am because this is like, what do we have? Seven more that I have to do.
I mean, get to do. I like it, and it's a lot of fun with you guys, and I just am stoked. Compliments to the chef. Nice, Bieber. Let me take back my judgment on you, but I also want to just... You don't have to. It's fine. Fine. Fuck it. You can judge me until the end of time, Anders, and I expect that from you. Fuck it.
We're doing it live! Fucking thing sucks! So, I was going to say, just to piggyback on what Kyle's saying, except to say that it goes without saying, I enjoy my time here. If I ever say it out loud, you guys know that I'm probably over it. I mean, arguably. And I feel like I'm being transparent about how I'm over it, so I have to go, hey, and by the way, guys, I love doing this. I like it. It's not a drag for me, and it's the highlight of my week, I guess.
A lot of convincing, you know, going on over here. Yep, that's true. Never need to say it. I do have a lot of fun. I'm being genuine. I know that there's not a lot of genuine behavior in your life, Anders. It's like, you know. Friendship. There's a lot of what in my life? There's not a lot of genuine behavior. So I'm just bringing real vibes. What?
That is true. I'm living in a fucking funhouse mirror. You're the one with the Oculus Rift VR, man. What kind of VR simulation? I don't know. Kyle, I thought that was very sweet. I don't know how they turned this compliment into an epic slam. I don't know either. But I'm with you. No, it's, you know, it's great. He's right though. Cause my mom called me today. She goes, I love you. Psych. And then hung up. That's what I'm talking about. And I started cutting. I don't know what's up and what's down.
I'm lost. Well, why don't you cry about it? Leaving you voice messages of just classical music really, really loudly. She keeps going like this. She goes, all right, I'm just checking in. Give me a call. I'm not your real mom. Epic slam. All right, fine. I'm going to apologize for complimenting us. I'm going to apologize for complimenting us. All right. Thank you. And that's more on brand. And that's also genuine. It's a genuine apology for complimenting us.
For being good friends. World famous best friends. I'm your friend. What are you looking at? But what are you looking at every time? I'm looking at fucking nuts, dude. I'm just eating fucking almonds. I'm trying to get the goji berries out of this mix. I wish on your notepad now it said apologize for and then an arrow to the compliment. Right. Yeah. I wrote down apology next to compliment. Okay.
I do wish Kyle had a ghostwriter. He's like, I'm just busy directing. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to talk about tonight. Can you just jot down seven talking points? He just has a guy sitting right off camera just whispering. What's that noise? He writes it and then points to it and it's like, baseball. Say Sandlot. Sandlot. Sandlot. That's a great movie. Sandlot's a great movie. I've seen it and I think it's fun. The
The way they're in that a lot of sand. Well, I'm excited for fans who are excited for the movie. They got a sneak peek with this podcast as to what exactly, without a doubt, 100% the movie is going to be. It's Workaholics, Sandlot the movie.
employees versus staff employees versus staff Sandlot 2 Sandlot 2 employees versus staff with abusive stepdads and Dennis Leary as Ders Dennis Leary as Ders oh my god recast I'm Norwegian you know what I'm Norwegian I'm an asshole yo yo okay alright
We did it. Another one in the books, guys. All right. And that's another episode of This is Important. Hear that? Pumpkin. That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather. It's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.
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