Ep 3: Hottest Hemsworth to Pizza Deliveryman Etiquette
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Pick up people's trash and take it to the dump for them, and you can just do whatever the hell you want over there. Listen to him. You're backing up now. When I'm jogging around the lake, I'm not trying to get a fucking hard-on. Buckle up. We're back. Oh my gosh, what episode number is this? 27? We're back.

Episode number three, ladies and gentlemen. This is our third one. Well, let's not say that because we can mix it up in post. We don't know the order. That's true. I was just answering Anders. And I appreciate that. Yeah, I hear you, brother. Guys, we promise not to fight today on our maybe third episode.

But it could also be the fifth. Or 30th. We're not sure. We're not sure of the order. We don't know yet. We don't even know what the workflow of a podcast is. I just want to say I would like to take this time early on to give a take back and an apology to Nick...

and say, hey, buddy, I'm sorry about last time. I felt like I was a little curt. We were having troubles with some of the audio. And I just wanted to give my take back and apology on air. Put it on wax. There we go. Let's see how today goes, though, obviously.

At first, I have a hard time with technology, and it frustrates me. I do get frustrated. Why don't we just kick it off with that, Adam? What's going on with you and technology? As long as I've known you, you have had what I refer to as... The tech ghost. The technology ghost that haunts you. Yeah, I honestly truly believe I have a tech ghost that lives within me, that haunts me, and...

And makes it so certain technologies have a hard time working around me. My Wi-Fi goes out constantly no matter where I'm at. Printers don't work. It's amazing that we have this set up here that I'm able to talk into a microphone from my home. Welcome to the future. Sorry, tech ghost. I mean, this goes back to like your BlackBerry Touch.

Yeah, I remember that, dude. I was flossing on them. I remember I got that Blackberry Touch. I booked a Honda commercial. Get them. Yeah, where I like Mr. Opportunity. I was camping and Mr. Opportunity comes by and I'm like, hey, Mr. Opportunity, you want some coffee? Mr. Opportunity was like the helpful Honda guy, like the cartoon. Oh, yeah. And I go, hey, Mr. Opportunity, you want some coffee? And he goes, I can. It'll go right through me. Because he was a cartoon. Yeah.

Because he's a cartoon. And then I go... Yeah! Yeah!

And they cut that part, but I still got paid for that commercial. And then guess what I bought? A motherfucking BlackBerry. Yeah, baby. Hit them. I also had some sick jokes I would tell at the comedy store open mic about my black friend named Barry. That's right. I remember that. That was a slam dunk. You've been haunted by this ghost for quite some time. The ghost of that joke? And it often results in rage from you. Yeah.

which I can totally attest to because we did live together for quite some time. And there was more than one occasion that I drove home from work and I would find an object from the house, be it a dresser or a mirror, or perhaps an old mini fridge thrown in the driveway. And I think something horrible has happened, but I come in and you're just having trouble printing out some script or something.

Yeah, some hot sides. I'm trying to get that new Nabisco ad. And so you would toss furniture outside in anger? Yes. Yes, hunters. Well, that's the original Demamp King. That was the original home workout where you just take furniture you don't want or need or some that you actually wish you still had.

And you pick it up and you take it out to your driveway and you flip it until it smashes in a bunch of little pieces. I really can't think of a cooler way to get buff than through destruction. Yeah. Oh, I follow this dude. I'm going to look him up. He's like tactical aggression or something. And he's just this guy who's just built like a fucking house.

And all he does for workouts is he jumps over cars and flips tires, and then people will throw him hammers, and then he'll just beat the shit out of this tire. Yes. And I'm like, that is the best way to work out, man. I'm sick of just doing burpees and shit. Yeah. I'm trying to break some shit. That's way more fun. If they just had a gym that was all just...

breakable shit that you could just go in there and aggressively smash it. I feel like that'd be it. They do. It's called a dump run. Just like go pick up people's trash and take it to the dump for them. And you can just do whatever the hell you want over there. Wow. And you save the planet. Oh, but you got to have a truck for that. This is, I'm talking about like an actual place that you can go. You could destroy things. Then you also get to throw these items into the truck. That's destruction. Number one into a metal truck.

True. Why don't we all have trucks? Trucks freaking rock, dude. Totally. Station wagons. Let's get some flatbeds. I want to be flatbed boys. Kyle's got a flatbed. Yeah, he does. I've been on it a few times. Oh, my gosh. I have a pickup. Yep, I do have a pickup. You don't have a pickup, do you? I thought you had the El Camino. That's a pickup truck, player. That's a pickup. Damn. That is a car with a flatbed. That is not a pickup truck. You can't call that a truck. That's a pickup. You don't say pickup truck.

but it's a pickup and i just said he has a flatbed and that's what he's talking about yeah okay all right okay hey yeah hey uh i'm circling that to uh to take that back a little later yeah circle that i got a flatbed in my wagon i look forward to that apology

Yeah, thank you. I think you guys need some flatbeds. Can we talk about Blake just looking absolutely fucking insane for this podcast? Okay, let's get a description. With the mask, with the one glove. But like a dentist's glove. Currently touching his nostrils. Mm-hmm.

wrap around glasses, a mask, and then a bucket hat with a band that I'm pretty positive he's never listened to. What? You're trying to challenge my Grateful Dead love? Come on, brother. Oh, yeah. What's your favorite Grateful Dead song, Blake? Oh, don't question him. He knows this shit.

Oh, please tell me your favorite. Keep trucking. Trucking, baby. Come on. Let's go. Thank you. What is it? Trucking. Okay. All right. Yeah, bro. Speaking of trucks, I live a truck lifestyle, y'all. All right. So their most famous one. Well, it's up there.

You don't know a deep cut at all, do you? What's the one with the video where it's just skeletons playing? I Will Get By? Yeah, that's all. That's the fucking jam. Dude, they've got jams. They've got jams. That song kicks butt. I saw Grateful Dead with John Mayer. Do you know Grateful Dead, bro?

No, I don't. No. Yeah, so you just like projected on him. And Blake knows Grateful Dead. He was like, he knows him. I don't believe that Blake is a big Grateful Dead fan. I'm a deadhead. I'm a deadhead, brother. I do not believe that he's a deadhead. I think that you need to know something because the other day, like we were just talking and I was working in the backyard and he's like, hey man, flipped me Grateful Dead playlist just to get in the mood.

Yeah, he was setting himself up for this because he knew we were going to call him out about the hat. He's doing the leg work. I'm the chess master.

You wearing that hat is like Chloe, my fiance, rocked a Slayer t-shirt for a while until I had to be like, you can't wear the shirt. Oh, man. You don't listen to Slayer. You don't know Slayer. Has she dabbled? I feel like Chloe would like Slayer. Yeah. I mean, she might like it, but I know she didn't listen to them when she was wearing the shirt. Right. You know what? I don't mind people wearing band shirts of bands they don't listen to because maybe that's their gateway.

Right. And if that leads to Chloe being a fucking Slayer addict, I'm pumped. Mm-hmm. Rain and blood. Let's go. Sure. That's like last night I was under a seal like this. I was in my pool. I've been in my pool a lot lately doing some laps. I already love it. Oh.

Nice, dude. Fucking rich guy alert. Working on my flip turns, but I just had Slipknot blasting while I was doing sprints. The most relaxing music of all time, Slipknot. I was just sprinting, trying to work on my flip turns, bro. Wait, I'm sorry. Where are the speakers? Are the speakers underwater or above water in your ears or what? No, they're above water. Like I said, I just have it blasting, so every time I come up for a breath, I'm like...

Right. That's tight. So the only way you can escape that garbage music is to be underwater? It helps you with your workout. Working on breath control? Yeah, I thought it was... It's not garbage, right? Right?

I mean, to be fair, I think they literally hit garbage cans as their drums, right? Yeah, I think that's part of their whole shtick is that they take a bunch of garbage on stage. That's hilarious. It actually is garbage music because they're playing trash cans. Yeah, they're beating trash cans. Are these the guys with like the, they wear masks? They are, yes. They're the band that's from Iowa, right? Is that right? Yeah, and Korn isn't from Iowa. Korn is from like Bakersfield. No shit.

Korn, that dude's got the best mic stand in the game. What's up with his mic stand? He has like an H.R. Giger sculpture for his mic stand. It's fucking sick. Whoa, that's dope. H.R. Giger, for those at home, artist from, I don't know, 40, 50 years ago, designed what we know today as the Alien from Aliens and Alien, the movies. What else did he design?

A bunch of shit. Geiger. Geiger. Y'all seen Species? Y'all seen Species? Have y'all seen Species? He designed Species. He designed Species. He did. My guy designed Species. His art is super fucked up. Go ahead and Google that. I feel like he did some of that in Jodorowsky's Dune that never got made. Correct. So he was, quote, discovered by Jodorowsky, however we're saying this. Yeah, I think that's how you say it.

And then when Dune did not get made, all the studios jacked that lookbook for all these various artists and stole him for Alien. That is a fantastic documentary. On who? On Jodorowsky? Yeah. I call him Jodorowsky. I called him Jordan Dosky. Oh, God.

That movie, dude, looked epic. And yeah, he found a lot of great artists for that film. But you know exactly why that movie never ended up getting made. Why? Because they were like, we can't do this. You're crazy. And he goes, well, fair enough. Well, to be fair, he like puts dicks on everything. Yeah. Yeah. If you've seen Holy Mountain. That's our kind of movie right there. We kind of put dicks on everything too. Yeah, very phallic. He raised his son to be the star of that film. Really? Yeah. It's amazing. It's amazing.

It's amazing. And they're doing Dune now, right? They are with Tim and Lee, the Charlemagne. Dune, the Dune, Dune, Dune. Charlemagne. That's going to be like the only movie that comes out this year. Yeah. Why are they coming out? Just send it to my phone. Just hold them. No, just send it to my phone. Yeah, there's no more movie theaters. Yeah. I mean, New Mutants X-Men is claiming it's coming out in theaters. It's like August 28th. 2021. You go see that in the movie theaters, you're going to be like,

Come home. You're going to come home a new mutant. You're going to catch something. I'm going to come home a new mutant, boy. Come on. Oh, boy. Worth it. I'll catch the covalito for a little X-Men New Mutants. I love Marvel movies. Can't get enough. Can't get enough. Make more.

Is X-Men Marvel? That's correct. Yes. Damn. They have everything, don't they? They got it all. They have quite the library. And you know what? When they're done with some dude playing one guy, they're like, bring on the next dude. Yeah. Uh,

Can we talk about, I recently saw an interview with Kamel. Sure. And he worked out so much that it changed his bone structure and his face. Okay. Have you seen that? It's incredible. Look up Kamel right now. Yeah, I'm not looking at his face anymore. I'll tell you that much. I'll be like.

I'm the nipples down as far as we're concerned. Oh, you guys are nipples boys? Well, nipples down. I'm trying to work out that much where it changes the structure of my face. It actually changed the bone structure. It didn't just like reveal his bone structure. Yeah, for sure. It was underneath some baby fat and then he worked out enough that the skin just suctioned to his cheekbones. And he quit drinking and all sorts of stuff that sounds like a fucking nightmare. Quit drinking? What a joke.

Yeah, I don't know. That would suck. Yeah, I would... Well, the only way to do... To get in that great of shape would have to be like, hey, hi, we're Marvel. Hi, we're Marvel. You're going to have to lose a bunch of weight and get in great shape and we'll pay you millions of dollars. That's the only way because any other reason is a bullshit reason. Just to look good? Yeah. Just to be... You know what, though? Just to be ready. Just to be ready. No. Come on.

No, no, no, no, no. Someone has to tap me on the shoulder and say, you're next. I'm not talking about for a movie. I'm talking about for what's happening. That's what I thought, Anders. And I'm like, yeah, that's the most legit reason is you need to be. You got to be prepared for what's going to happen. Yes. Are you guys talking a civil war that's going to break out? Silver war. Hey, no, that's what people are talking about. No, I said civil. I said civil. But we're talking about silver. I'm talking about silver. Have you noticed how. Hey, hey, rewind the podcast. Rewind.

Rewind the podcast and listen to see if I said silver or civil.

This is about to be a goddamn civil war in this podcast booth right now, motherfucker. I want to say you said silver war in Workaholics. I think Adam DeMamp said that once. Yeah, I know. What's great about playing this dumbass character of Adam DeMamp is I got to mess up and say a lot of stupid shit that just ended up in the show. We're keeping it. I think if you are in a Marvel movie, part of your contract should be you have to sign up for our military as well.

That's a cool idea. Yeah, sure. That, that, what? Yeah, you're front line. I'm down to talk about it. I'm down to take the walk with you. You know what I mean? Yeah, Chris Hemsworth is like, man,

Mate, I'm not even American. I shouldn't be in your military. Was that a good head start? Hey, you want to be Thor? You're frontline. We're putting you frontline. Wait, but who would be the best soldier out of all the Marvel actors in real life? Mark Ruffalo. Thank you. Because he's a sensitive soldier. He's going to ask why before pulling the trigger. What about the dude who shoots the arrows? Oh.

Jeremy Renner for days. Renner. Yes. Renner is the ultimate soldier. Renner seems like he might be a little ready for action. He's a whack job. A little too ready. Yeah. Renner would be like selling arms on the side or some shit. I don't know. He's got those eyes that aren't trustworthy. I'll say that. Okay. You think he's sophisticated? I think Brolin would be good, but does he count because he didn't really have to get jacked? He's

Fucking jacked as shit. What are you talking about? What do you mean he got jacked? Are you kidding me? Did you not see Deadpool? Oh, well, right. He's huge as Cable. He's two characters in Marvel. So he has to enlist twice. Oh. Army and Navy. Yeah. Land, sea, and air.

I feel like we're not right. I feel like there's somebody in the Marvel Universe who's way, way better for Chris Evans. Well, it would be like Dave Bautista. Oh, yeah. Bautista, bro. Yeah. Get at me. Yeah. He's a super soldier. Yeah. Yeah. Just like a brick house. You think Bautista, is he the strongest in the Marvel Universe? He's got to be.

He's gotta be. What do you mean he's gotta be? I mean, he's like... Chris Hemsworth is fucking... When Chris Hemsworth was like rotund, when that dude was like full, he's kind of thinned out. But when he was like really jacked, he was huge. And he's like 6'5". How tall is... Batista's like 7'.

What? There's literally no way to tell. I don't think Batista's that tall. Yeah, there's no pictures. There's no any comparisons. He's definitely huge. He was a WWE wrestler. Terry Bollea. Dave Batista is 290 pounds. That's like me. That's almost Kyle's size. And he's 6'6". 6'6", 290. That is a goddamn truck. He's a big boy.

- Bautista. - Bautista. - Bautista. - And yeah, I guess Hemsworth is probably like 245, 250.

That's my guess. When he's rotund. When he's fully rotund. Right. Other than that, Halle Berry, also up there. OG X-Men. This we know is a lie. The internet is a lie. It's saying that he is 6'3". No. He's taller. Not the case, right? That's how tall you are, right, Durzy? Yeah, and I saw him at an MTV Awards or something when we were all in the green room. And this dude was just a head taller than everybody, scouting.

It was Comic-Con. Remember, we saw him and we didn't know who he was and we were all drunk and we're like, look at this big motherfucker. So wasted screaming at him. And then someone's like, he's going to be Thor. And we're like, that makes sense. Yeah, he is eight feet tall. You guys, the story. I was at a house party like a year or like nine months before he was announced as Thor at a house party, kicking it with some dude I was working with. And he came in the room and the room changed.

And everyone's like, da, da, da, da, da. I'm like, hey, who? And I ask my buddy, I'm like, who the fuck is that? And they're like, oh, he just moved here from Australia. He's like a soap actor. He's going to try and do acting. Nice dude. And I'm like, he's a god. Right.

And then seven to nine months later, I was reading the trades and they were like, Marvel has found its Thor. And I was like, of course, this dude is Thor. He's a god. Yeah, he is. He's a god. He was a god at that party of 25 people. And the weird thing is, he's not the coolest brother. No.

Liam is. That's right. Team Liam. Luke. Team Luke. Oh, we got a Luke fan. Over Liam? Liam's way cool, dude. I'm a Liam guy. Sorry, Liam. I'm going with the brother I haven't met yet. Yeah, you've like worked with Liam several times. What the fuck? Yeah, I thought you were boys with Liam. That's weird that you checked that. No.

No, I am. I am. But for sure, for sure the one I don't know is the coolest. Yeah, I like Liam. I like Liam. Makes sense. I thought maybe some dirty shit happened on set with you and Liam. Did you have beef? Was it like you can't be on set together? It was definitely a battle of who's the hottest on set every time we walked on set. Every time we walked on set, it was like a real... Oh, for sure. Right. Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. Right. Give and take, push and pull of who is the sexiest person on set. Oh, yeah. Should we take a moment just to talk about how when he was on Workaholics, he was like, hey, can I do a ridiculous hairstyle and funny goatee? And we're like, yeah, for sure. Do whatever you want. We're just glad you're here. And he comes out and he's like, don't I look ridiculous? And he looked so good. It was.

was insane yeah his hair is all slicked back and he was like oh don't I look insane and we're like yeah like a insane fucking hot ass super yeah you just look like the cover of People magazine 1987 hottest man of the year the bro needs to be an interview with a vampire gosh what is that what do you think that's like if you just can't escape being hot as fuck it is a it is a nightmare I

I don't know. For some, like, what I keep getting cast in recently is, like, I'm the regular slash ugly-looking friend, and then these super hot guys are right next to me with Liam and Efron. And it has to be so fucking hard to be those guys because people will not stop staring at them.

Men, women, everybody just looks at them nonstop. I know it was driving them crazy. It has to. Dude, do you remember we were like, we went to some NASCAR event and Channing Tatum was there. And the way that women were treating him was flagrant. They would follow him and grab his ass and he'd be like. Like pieces of meat. That is my butt. It's so cool though. Gosh, I wish I was him.

it is crazy. I mean, your guys's ass is probably get grabbed quite a bit.

Blake, you've got a really, really nice ass. Yeah, you've got a nice tuchus. Oh, tuchus. Publicly, no. Does it get grabbed? My ass gets grabbed when I'm on the road doing stand-up and I do those meet and greets afterwards, which I guess I'm probably never going to do again because COVID. But when I would do those and you're meeting people after the show, probably within a line of I would cap it at 100 people, my ass would get grabbed 25 times. Wow.

But you do have a fucking dookie. Rotund. Yeah, it's totally meaty. You got a dookie, bro. I got some meat back there. You got a booty. Your booty gets to the party ten minutes after you. It's still coming. What's up, dude? You're here? Your booty's here. To be fair, didn't you get cut out of a Domino's commercial because your ass was eating? Oh, yeah. Oh, that was an insane...

Oh, that was insane. I forgot all about that. I booked this Domino's commercial way back in the day. I know I said commercial. We were going to let it go. We were going to let it go. Yeah, I know. I know you were. It's an over war. But I had to come back and claim it, this commercial.

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Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

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It was like a big deal, you know? Domino's, this could air as a nationwide commercial. This could like pay for my whole year. This is before Workaholics, before anything when I was just doing commercials. And booked it, so excited about it. And the whole commercial was I get out of a car, they have this crane shot that follows me, my ass, follows my ass all the way up to the door. I ring the doorbell and then this talking dog answers the door.

And I do it and the first shot and they're like, oh, cut. Okay. And through with my peripherals, I see like the dominoes people like losing their minds. Peripherals. How the

that work peripheral peripheral for the people at home say the whole yeah you can say perifs i'm acceptable yeah my perifs using the perifs i look over i see the dominoes uh people freaking out and then they're like the director comes over to me he's like hey uh can we just untuck the back of your shirt and i'm like okay weird ass can i untuck the back of my shirt to cover my ass i kind of see what they're doing now and then they're like uh cut

The whole shirt. We just take the whole shirt. And then now they're mad at me. As if it's my... It's like... I guess it kind of is my fault. Well, I mean, come on. I think it's Dennis' fault. Your dad's got the donkey. Okay.

That's where the cheeseburgers go. And then they were like, okay, we're going to get him in bigger pants. So then they take half of an afternoon to get me in bigger pants. And then they're like, it was supposed to be a two-day shoot. The next day they go, hey, don't even bother coming back. What? Don't even bother coming back. And they had the guy, they're going to do two versions, like an English-speaking version and a Spanish-speaking version. And then they just had the Spanish guy who could also speak English just do both. Did you see his butt? Yeah.

He obviously had a nice taut, taut buttock. Did you see it? That's insane to me. Like, that's just... That's a testament to why Hollywood is just the roughest biz. Yeah, it's the hardest. Well, if anything, that ass is relatable. My donker... I know. Well, that's what's messed up about it. Is it like, I would see a guy with a donk on TV and I'd be like...

I want Domino's, baby. I feel like that feels real. That feels good. I don't want this chiseled-ass Chris Hemsworth ordering pizza. I want Adam Devine with a donk ordering pizza. No, he's delivering it. He's delivering it. Oh, you were delivering it? Well, I wasn't ordering. I was the pizza delivery guy. Well, that's okay, because I was once a delivery guy, and I know how you sneak slices in the car, bro. I mean, it's all good. You would eat the pizza? What? From the... A couple toppings? Yeah, here and there. You know what I mean? Bro, you...

Are you serious? I was also a pizza delivery guy, and you have broken code, my friend. Yeah, you are going to hell. That is breaking code. Well, I mean, I didn't... Come on, guys. Everybody takes a little topic here and there. Come on. How dare you? Listen to him. Beep.

Back it up now. Come on. That is breaking code. They trust you with the pizza. Well, I don't do it anymore. I don't deliver anymore. So this is like 20 years ago. You're just getting it off your chest. You're getting it off your chest. I got you. Do you remember how excited we were for Blake to get his first big national commercial? Starbucks? That Starbucks commercial. And then we're all like around the TV when it first came on. And Blake's like, oh, shit, this is my commercial. This is my commercial. And I'd get my phone out to record it. And then it doesn't show him the end.

entire commercial except for his hands reaching in to grab like a cup of coffee. Dude, I have had really bad commercial luck. Remember, then after that, I got a McDonald's commercial. I got cut out of that. I remember that. We made a song that was gorgeous, cut out of a McDonald's commercial. You were moving back to

Conquered. Oh yeah, Go Max of Conquered came from that. So like, that's the gift. Yeah. Look what you did there. Hey Kyle, do you have that song? Somewhere on one of the hard drives sitting around here. Yeah. Let's tag the episode with that. If we can find it, here it is. Sounds good. Heard the news today. Got cut out of the commercial. My first McDonald's commercial. It's in the dirt. Worked so hard.

Got my hopes so high But it wasn't worth it Dreams got to die Moving back to Concord Leaving L.A. in the dust Can't do it anymore You know that I must Move back to Concord I gotta move back to Concord I can't stay in Hollywood It's eating me alive

I give up. I tell you that I'm winning. I'm giving up my dreams. I'm sick of this way of living. I want to start a family. I want to get a real job. I got to move back to Concord. I've been here too long.

I'm thrown in the tower I gotta call it quits I'm moving back to Concord Maybe I'll do some music or theater I thought it was Broadway or must But I guess it's just bust I can't do this

I got kicked out of McDonald's commercials and that was the end. So long. Guess I'll see you in Concord. I guess you'll see it sometime soon. I'm leaving Hollywood. I can't do it anymore. I thought it was Broadway. Or bus. Thought it was meant to be.

And we're back. And we're back. I hope you had a good listen. We all did. Oh, it's so good. That right there is a testament to just keep going. No matter how much you're hurt by this business, if you have a dream, keep going. Just keep going, guys. Or take a hint. I don't know. If you get cut out of two commercials, it might be time to fold it up. The universe is telling you something. Yeah, that's true. It would have been interesting if you would have just left.

Yeah, if you're just like, you know what? I'm cut out of two commercials. This isn't for me. I'm out of here, guys. Dude, I remember – actually, like McDonald's, that was like my first major film set I was on. And call times are so early that I decided that that would be the first day I ever drank coffee. Yeah.

And I remember. That's probably why you're just like sweating. You're all stinky. You're jittery. That was the thing is like, it takes so long to get called to set. I had no set experience. So like, I'm just waiting, just drinking coffee for the first time. And hours and hours later, they finally call me to set. And that's when the bottom just drops out of my stomach. So as soon as I get in place, I'm like, I got to ship. Uh,

As soon as I hit set, I'm like, can I use the bathroom? And they're like, no. I was like, oh, man, this sucks. I quit. I'm moving back to Concord where I can shit freely. And then we did that one take song, and it was just gorgeous. You just let it out? It was rough. Yeah, we just heard it. Yeah. We did. We did.

We just heard it. That's the worst when you have to shit and you absolutely can't. I, uh, I, one time, yeah, you know, uh, when authorities, that is the worst. I actually have a story. Uh,

Do you remember that? It was called Dirty Nellies. I think Durs came and saw me there once way back in the day in Costa Mesa with you and your boy John. And it's like this shitty little dive bar. It's a cool dive bar, but I was being called on stage and it was the first time I was going to headline. And headline at this bar was like 30 minutes to do stand-up. And...

I'm pretty nervous, and I don't know why I had to shit, but I caught— Well, it's a human behavior. Yeah. Yeah, you had digested. Biology. Yeah, I think I was nerves and got the nervous poops, and I sneezed, and a perfect log shot out of my ass. A perfect log pinched completely—

into my pants and I grabbed a bar. They're literally bringing me up like this guy. He's lives in Hollywood. He's comes down here to do standup. We like him, give it up for, and I'm fishing this turd out of my pants. I take it out with a bar napkin and stick it in a potted plant, which I'm right next to. I go on stage. I do the 30 minutes. The show went great.

It was like the best show I've had up to this point. And then I go, guys, to be perfectly honest, I didn't think the show was going to go great because right before the show, I shit in that potted plant and people were like, what? And I go, hey, go look at that potted plant. Tell me there's not a shit wrapped up in a bar napkin. And they're like,

"THERE'S A SHIT IN HERE!" And then I dropped the microphone as if that's my ending joke and the place exploded. It was like the best ending bit. People were like, "HE'S SHIT IN THE BAR! HE'S SHIT IN THE-" Dude, you gotta bring that back. That story started very loose butthole. And then tight- Ended tight butthole. Oh good, good, good, good. Did you do your joke where you like lift your leg like you're waving like a person with no arms and like just fan your dookie hole?

And it just shoots out. No, I've luckily never shat on stage. That would be a true nightmare. You would have to... You could do it, though. You could spin it into something, man. I believe in you. Thank you. You would have to keep going. Once you're up there, you're not going to get off that stage for an hour. Oh, you have to. The show must go on.

It does do. What's up with the integration into the show? Like, that takes, that's some serious stuff that I don't know. Yeah. I mean, first of all, hiding this shit before going on, I think, is something that birthed out of necessity. Like, you can't just leave the shit in your pants before you go up. Absolutely you can't. Of course. But the callback to it and letting the whole room know that there's your poop in that potted plant is something of...

I don't... What is that? Well, it was the confidence that was built through that half hour to where I got a rapport with this audience and it was going great. It was a great show. And they were fully on board with everything I was doing. So you just were like, I'm unstoppable. Guys, I gotta be honest. It was a great night. I should...

And, you know, just the honesty that I was trying to have with this crowd and just admitting like, hey, I didn't think it was going to go well because I shit in that potted plant right before getting on stage. And people were like, what? Why throw a weird lie after he's built this rapport with us right now? And then I was like, yo, go check that potted plant. Someone did. And he's like, there's a shit in here. But like, were you just like...

oh, I shouldn't have said that. And then you doubled down. Like, were you just so excited about how the thing was going? And you're like, I shit in the plant before this. And you're like, seriously, like. You know, it happened so quick. There was no, I think I was still riding the high of the show. It just kind of popped out like the poop at the beginning. Yeah, it just sort of shot out. I'm still wrapped up on a perfect log. Like, even when you pull it out of your underwear, it was still intact. Yeah.

Yeah. Fully formed. Well, at that, you know, this was like 2004, maybe? Oh, right. That's when logs were, like, really happening. Oh, so this is Chipotle. Yeah. This is Chipotle. This is Pinto Black Bean Mix. This is when I was shitting perfect logs, not the spray that I have now, not the mid-30s-year-old blasters. Yeah, well, you know, you get old. Things start to happen when you get old. No, no, no, no. I...

I think I also wore looser fitting jeans at that. So there was, there was room to pull it out in its entirety. So to speak. Yeah.

Now I feel like there might be some streakies coming up my back and butt cheeks. Streakies? Right now? Like my two-year-old. It just goes out the back. Oh, dude. Blowouts. Blowouts. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's incredible, dude. Yeah, that is a fucking story of conquest. I love it. What's fun about this podcast is we're going to tell each other stories that we might not have told each other or might have told each other so long ago that we forgot.

It's fun to revisit. That's one I love revisiting. I love revisiting with these guys. You love what? These stories, you guys. Hey, leave them alone. This dude is drunk. I love revisiting these stories with you guys. I said it, and I said it perfectly, and I said it clearly the first time.

Reziveting. That's a spoonerism. Spoonerisms are... Did I say reziveting? You were about to say reziveting, which is the classic spoonerism, and it's the funniest thing. Classic spoonerism. What's a spoonerism? Spoonerism is like when you say, I'm going to go cut the lawn. Instead, you say, I'm going to go let the con. You just switch the... K-A-H. The starting consonants or the starting...

That doesn't seem real or what I did. So like visiting would be ziveting, you know, like visiting, ziveting. I don't think I did that. I think I spoke clearly and precisely because I am a professional. Well, you asked a question, so I answered it. I mean, it's all good. It's okay. I can see like, you know, how we all acted in school and why we got to where we are. What was it called again?

Spoonerism. Spoonerism. I know about that shit. What's his name? Questlove was talking about that on this De La Soul DJ session he was doing the other day. Because Biz Marquis did a Spoonerism on a De La track. Tight. And he was like, what is that called? And I was like, Spoonerism. And he was like, what is it? I think

it's called like a I'm not talking to him like live but I'm just like oh it's spoonerism and then he finally figured it out guys at home I'm glad I shared that with you I like that yeah hell yeah dude sounds British but I like hell yeah spoonerism is rock they're very funny fucking nuts knucking futz there's a bumper sticker that's a spoonerism thunking go nuts tuck my sits yeah that that too wait what did you say tuck my sits

You said what? Tuck my sits. Yeah. You get it? That's something. Suck my fits? No, tuck my sits. Tuck.

Suck my tits. He's writing it down. Suck my tits. Suck my tits. Is that not spoonerism? Yes, it is. Tuck my tits. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I guess that's right. Tuck my tits. Adam, you writing it down is the fucking best. I mean, I wasn't thinking about it. I just pulled it out. I mean, that's just what came to mind, bro. Oh, fuck.

Well, I mean, I guess that's never a thing that I've ever said in my life is suck my tits. This is important. Really? It rolled off your tongue so easily. That's another song that Blake and I made, like, probably the same night we did the other one. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like it when a girl sucks all my tits. Because you were like, if I can't make it in a commercial, maybe I'm not cut out for being a commercial-type guy. Maybe I'll go the other way. Maybe I'll just go straight into porno songs. Yeah. You're like, I'm off the fucking map. And we're going to play that track for you right now.

I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like it when a girl sucks on my tits. My tits. My tits.

Look, I'm kind of a nasty dude. My girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like when a girl sucks on my tits. My tits.

Here's the deal, I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like it when a girl sucks all my tits. And we're back. And we're back. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? Should there be a sequel? Oh my gosh.

Have fun.

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Hey, you know what I asked today, guys? I was on Twitter and I said, what is a movie soundtrack that's better than the movie that it was the soundtrack of? I've got one. I got one, too. I've got one, and this is hard for me to say. Okay. Pure luck. Oh. Don't know what that is. Great movie. Please explain. I don't know that soundtrack, period. It's Danny Elfman, actually. That's the score. That's the score. Oh, shit. My bad. I'm talking about soundtrack. Like, Judgment Night. Oh.

Had a better soundtrack than the movie. Oh, there's tons. Bones, Snoop Dogg, come on. The movie Bones. Bones, yeah. Okay. Where he's like the vampire dog.

Y'all got to see Bones, man. That movie kicks ass. Yeah. Bones gets my butt. Actually, the movie might be better because that movie rocks. Yeah. I went straight to score. I was like, what's that one Swiss Army Man? That music is fantastic, but the movie is just – I can't get behind it. I'm talking about motion picture soundtrack. I mean –

The Crow. No, no, no, but The Crow's a good movie. Yeah, The Crow's good. Those are neck and neck to me. I'm going to say Pitch Perfect 2. Oh! Okay. All right. That soundtrack is a banger, baby. It's weird that we're talking about this because me and Chloe went and got breakfast before this at this little breakfast spot down the street from our house. Fuck yeah. They had to have put it on because they saw me in there. They played the song where...

when rebel is like rowing across the lake and she's singing to me. And then I sing back to her, uh, the pitch perfect song, like as we're in there. And then there, the waitresses are like, Oh my God. Oh my,

Oh my god, should he sing it? Wait, is there a Pitch Perfect song? What is the Pitch Perfect song? Yeah, sing it to us. I mean, fuck if I know. It's like... Wait, is this a song that previously existed or this is the Pitch Perfect song? No, it's a cover. No, no, no, it's from the soundtrack. Oh, okay.

And I, you know. Well, that movie's a musical, so any of the, like a lot of it is part of the soundtrack. I don't know. Yeah. Life Aquatic, dope soundtrack. That's a good movie too. It's not as good as the soundtrack though. The soundtrack's a little bit more memorable than the movie. That movie's sick. That's a movie that I think is. That movie needed a.

It was kind of weirdly ahead of its time. Yeah. I need to rewatch that shit. Yeah. I think I need to as well. I remember it took me a while to get through it because I couldn't just, I wasn't grasping onto the characters or the plot really. It was cool though. It was cool. Just the fact they have claymation. I'm in brother. Willem Dafoe in Life Aquatic, game changer. Got it. Yeah. So Anders, what were some of the better examples?

I haven't looked at anybody's answers, but I was just like Judgment Night was one. I'm thinking of other big soundtracks like Bullworth.

had a decent soundtrack? Yeah, that's actually a great answer. Bodyguard. I would argue that Brown Sugar had a better soundtrack than the movie. I like the movie. I love the soundtrack. This one's controversial. It's a double... There were two discs because the soundtrack was so good. Is the soundtrack to Dazed and Confused better than the movie? Oh, wow. That's interesting. That's a great question. Well, it's kind of...

impossible to separate because especially on that movie because that movie the soundtrack pushes the movie along so well and also gets you in the mood for those hot 70s James so is the accompaniment of the visual better or not

That's what I'm saying. That's the whole idea. I think that the soundtrack is better than the movie. You think so? But that movie is so relatable, like what's going on in the flick and what was happening, especially if you watched it when you were in high school. It's like, yeah. God, that movie ruled so hard in high school. It's too real. Yeah. Just to smoke weed with your friends and be like, if only this were the 70s. Yeah.

Right. We're in the wrong time, dude. I remember because of the soundtrack, I thought it was older than it was. I was like, whoa, when was this made? Oh, my God. Is this from the 30s? Right. Right. Yeah, 30s. It is funny to be like, no matter what age you're growing up, you think that time sucks. Right. Right. You know, like no matter what age, like we grew up in the mid, late 90s is when we were coming of age as kids to men. Yeah.

That's a sick man. At the time, I was like, this is the worst era in human history, the 90s. But then now I look back at it and I'm like, God damn. If only I could get myself a snap bracelet and a healthy bicycle, everything would be okay again. Yeah, I just want to crank Limp Bizkit and do freaking laps in the pool. Oh, shit.

Woof, man. See, I would have been on board with a little limp. Yeah. Slipknot is, I don't know. That being said, Slipknot, I think, good workout music. You're getting a lot of aggression out. I just don't have a lot of Slipknot knowledge. I was like, let me flip on the best of Slipknot and let me see what this is about. The best of? Wow. Well, like, you know, the top tracks on Spotify or whatever. Yeah.

whatever. Are you wearing a swim cap? No, no swim cap. I'm not even tying my hair back, bro. I'm just putting the goggles on and going for it. Hoofing it like Lisa. It just looks like a little wet rat tail on your back. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird having hair this long because I often think there's something in the middle of my back. I'm like,

what is on me? Oh, it's my hair. Oh my God. I've never had it this long before. Will you shave your head or what? Shave my head. I was looking at, what was I looking at? I was watching a YouTube video and somebody had buzzed like the side of their head, but left the hair long. And I'm like, well, that's the next step.

You're going to go Skrillex? Circa 2010? Yeah, but you know how back in the day they used to do it where you could pull it in a top knot and then it was buzzed all the way around? Uh-huh. And then it just kind of laid down? That's the shit. The bowl cut. Yeah, it's like a very long bowl cut. But a ponytail. But a ponytail up top. So when you let it down, it hides the fact that it's shaved. I've always wanted to do that. Yes, yes. That, I think, would be the next step. That is Skrillex, right? That is Skrillex. But Skrillex only does one side.

Oh, that's his thing. Blake, is Skrillex still a DJ and is he still a popular DJ? Please explain. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Skrillex is still out there doing his thing. Does he have a residency somewhere?

Isn't that the end game? If you can get that Vegas money for sure. I don't see him on any billboards really. No. Like what happened? He was like the hottest shit I feel for a handful. He was. But that's just DJ life, right? Yeah. Where it's like you're the hottest thing in the world and then all of a sudden some guy comes around with a – A cooler helmet. A hot dog head. Yeah.

And you're like, a hot dog man is playing the palladium. So sorry. This person has a regular human face. Wienerschnitzel got the vibe. We no longer can support him. I was saying that eventually I believe that DJing at that caliber and that level will evolve into you also are doing magic and illusion.

conclusions just magician djs you're making people's money disappear i'll tell you that that's gonna be my new uh my next disney plus uh movie that makes sense magician dj magic dj yeah magic dj camp that makes so much sense the drop of a dj is just like the reveal of a magician yeah doves fly out come on yeah that's awesome yeah are you gonna do that blake please please do this hot dog head

Yeah. Hot dog head. Right. It's raining meat. Oh, my God. Welcome to the barbecue pit.

It must be so fun to be a DJ. Actually, it also is a prison for sure. Not if you're the marshmallow head guy though, right? Because you can just beat anybody. You just collect your check. Yeah, or like Deadmau5 where you're just like, I just go to the fucking Whole Foods on Tuesday and I'm chilling. I presented with Marshmello. Nice guy. I was getting changed into what I was supposed to wear and then he took his marshmallow head off and he was like, oh shit, sorry, I didn't see you there.

Don't tell anybody. It's just hard to breathe sometimes. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. It's me, Jaleel White. I'm like, fuck, that must suck. It's like all hot in there. And he's like, yeah, sorry. I just had to take it off every once in a while. Don't tell anyone. And I'm like, oh, it's okay. Don't tell anyone what? That you're not an actual marshmallow? I think...

Right. I think we could all be on board. You know how back in the day, like Gallagher, like there was that whole, like he had somebody steal his identity and all that. His brother, his brother, he sold the act to his brother, his twin brother. Yeah. Is there anybody checking the fact that Marshmello is actually Marshmello when he shows up to a gig or can he like say I'm working in New York and I also got a gig in California and I also got a gig over in Spain and I'm just like creating this franchise, this DJ franchise.

I feel like at some point you can Blue Man Group it and just send them everywhere. Yeah. But, I mean, the internet is a small place. True. They'll be able to figure that out pretty quickly where they're like, you can't be in Atlantic City and Reno. Yeah, it's like Kaufman and Tony Clifton kind of. But you could flip the dates and just have three guys and have to only go to a third of the places you're supposed to go. Totally. I mean, that would be the best thing.

Until you have to talk to one of your marshmallows and be like, hey, man, you're putting on the weight. Right. Like, hey, marshmallow is 175 pounds. You know this. He's not 200 pounds. So you got to hit the treadmill, marshmallow. I feel like these are the kind of conspiracies I'd like to be spending my time on. Like, is there multiple marshmallows? You got to get off the conspiracies you're currently on and get on this where is marshmallow conspiracy. All right. I was just making a joke. I don't need to be...

be put on a freaking crucifix right now, okay? I'm not. Hey, you're the one who got sensitive, but I just said this would be a good... Well, you pointed the finger at me, and I, you know... Well, sometimes when someone reacts like this, it's because some sort of truth is coming out. What's going on? Oh, yes. Oh, it's also comedy. Come on now. Ha ha ha.

The world's a stage, right, Kyle? Kyle, all you gotta say is, can we please change the subject? Yeah, thank you. Can we change the subject? I want to say that so much on this podcast. That's a great call. I forgot about that. That's awesome. That's going to be the other name of the podcast instead of This Is Important, which it is, which everything we talk about is. It's all important. It's going to be, can we change the subject? Can we change the subject? Can we please change the subject? It's

It's a real conversation killer for a podcast. Can we please change the subject? Yeah, because it's like, okay. Next subject. We're kind of going on a good run there. Do you guys ever feel like you're a little salty about how we sort of just kind of

Had these dreams as kids and then fulfilled our dreams and all of our dreams basically came true to a point. Yeah, I'm pissed. And then you see like a 16-year-old kid making $35 million a year making like reaction videos on YouTube and you're like, what?

I didn't even know that was possible. Are we playing video games or whatever? It's out of my control. Do you want to be doing reaction videos for $35 million? I would like to be doing both, honestly, but I don't think people would give a shit about my reactions. You can do reaction videos today. You can go and like, you know.

No, that's the thing is YouTube really, there's no like famous stars that go to YouTube that are then famous YouTubers. It's all like homegrown YouTubers are then the YouTube stars. Interesting. I feel, I don't feel salty. I feel sad that they're missing out on a craft, you know? Yeah. No. What are you talking about?

They don't give a fuck, bro. Dude, they're not missing on a craft. They're about to buy an aircraft fucking carrier. They're fucking killing it, dude. They don't care. They really don't care. It's the whole goal is money and all that. They don't want to be like, uh, maybe sure. Maybe the goal is money, but maybe they have their craft. It's just not their job. Maybe after they get off from fucking going, did you hear that song?

They go and they fucking play video games because they love that. Or go fishing. Yeah, they just go fishing, which is the craft. They buy a big-ass boat. If I had to guess, all these kids are just going fishing. Right. Okay, now I understand completely. All right, good for them. Go chill out. Good day job. Catch a fish.

For sure good for them. I know I would not feel good about myself if I'm like in my 40s and I've done the reaction videos for 20 years or whatever. And then people will stop caring about your YouTube videos at a certain age once you're not there these kids age. Because you do age out of YouTube, right? Everyone ages out of everything always. Like –

people used to be in love with motley crew not so much anymore like every dog has his day that is true but i i feel like as an actor or a director or a writer there's much more longevity where like john goodman for instance he's been in the uh public eye for 40 years totally but that's john goodman but i mean like yeah eastwood too like clint eastwood's still making movies and he's going to be able to make movies until he's

he's gone you know like wish he would go that's cool wish that motherfucker would go I would just say like if you're looking for longevity like be a teacher and

Hello. Teach for 30 years. Message. Yeah, but we actually had this conversation when we were like early YouTube where it's like, do we ride the holidays? Do we get the clicks by riding the holidays? Do we ride the buzz? Do we ride the news? And it was always like kind of like, no, we don't want to do that. We want to, of course, we want the clicks and we want like, you know, to get noticed, but we also need to express ourselves. And that's what I think we had in common.

Here's what I would argue. Here's what I would argue is that you marry the both. You do the best thing about what's current, right? Sure. Yeah.

Oh, man. YouTube is a different animal, though. Like, the type of content. The other day I was, like, diving in on some YouTube videos, and I was just going berserk. It was, like, this super fake-ass couple. I think it was, like, the Scott family. I think that's the account. Drag them. Go on it. Drag them. And they're, like, every video's, like... Fuck you, Scott family. Oh, God. I wanted to jump through the damn laptop. Because it was, like...

I pranked my husband. I pretended to pass out and hurt myself. Prank. But it's obviously both of them are very aware. I know. It's all scripted. Terrible acting. Oh, man. I don't get it. What is with those ones where it's like the guy degrading his hot wife who's half-dressed around the house? He's like, I'm going to go pants my wife. That's what it is. It's so weird. She's just like, Bobby!

Bobby. It's so weird. Like, I really don't know. Sticks out his tongue at the camera like, tune in next week. And you're like, what is this relationship? Dude, I don't know. That's where I'm like, something is amiss in society. That's just like shared narcissism. Yeah. Not to get like, like without unchecked narcissism too, because they can do it all themselves. Like when you come up through Hollywood, you have this whole group of people that are constantly saying you're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not good enough.

checking and balancing the narcissist. Hollywood's a good at like beating your ego down to a point that it's palpable for society. Right. Because everybody, in order to become a big comic or a big actor, you have to have some sort of ego or else you wouldn't go like,

Oh, I'm important enough that they should point the camera at me. Or I'm important enough that I should have the microphone and stand on a stage where people should listen to what I have to say. Right. So you need that ego in order to do it. But then Hollywood, coming up through Hollywood is like just a fucking bully that beats you down to a point that you have to, you get some sort of...

you realize that it, you know, you need to beat your ego back a little bit. Yeah. You kind of get grounded a little bit. And then, you know, these people that have the keys to the YouTube and keys to the millions of viewers and whatnot, they don't have that check and balance at all. They're just like, I'm the most popular person in my town, wherever. And nobody can really speak to me because I got millions of views. And here's the other thing. I know I'm just, I'm just like, say I sounded like an old man for sure, but, uh, uh,

The amount I follow, like I'm a huge basketball fan. I follow like all these like rookies and like second year NBA players that are all like 21 years old. The amount of grown men that are dancing and filming themselves doing dances, wearing their fashionable clothes, wearing their like nice outfits, but then like doing like little dances by themselves. Are we talking TikTok? TikTok.

Yeah, sure. It's they're not all tick tock. I mean, they're just they're dancing everywhere. They're not all tick tock dances. But yes, essentially. And they're like, I understand, like being a 14 year old kid and like, hey, girls like that. And they're into that. So I'm going to be into that.

But then growing up and that's just the societal shift that like now adult men are like, yeah, which I guess more power to them. I'm just saying that would have never have flown. Think about this though. Think about what you're talking about Hollywood and like how you get beat down or whatever.

That's because those were like the gatekeepers, right? Those were like the tastemakers. But these people are saying like, I don't even... We're the tastemakers now. Yeah. I'm going to let society be the tastemaker. They can choose what the taste is. And maybe the taste is sorry to us, but like the gatekeepers of Hollywood before also might have not been the like...

the right people for that job no i i follow anything hervey weinstein does he's my gatekeeper and you're constantly saying that and that's cool and i won't shut up about it i see that derz i totally get that it is cool in a way that like it's like media is becoming more like just for and by the people like that is awesome it is but a lot of people uh

fucking suck, dude. Well, they're not going through the channels to become really good at their craft. That's why I'm like, they're missing out on this craft. There's been shitty movies, though, back in the day, too. And like, those were movies. This is at least people being shitty on the internet on their own time.

True. True. Very true. It's like, what's the harm in it? Absolutely. What's the harm? It's rotting our children's minds. That's the harm. Well, that's where it becomes a question of parenting and how much unchecked YouTube time do you let your kid have? I mean, I've been watching a lot of MTV Classic recently and the throwback videos from when I was like eight or nine, and I cannot believe the shit I was watching. Oh.

man. Really? It's crazy. Like made you really horny. Like Rump Shaker? Yeah. I was watching Rump Shaker very young. Well, I mean, but Rump Shaker is fucking tame compared to WAP. Wet ass pussy. Totally. Is there a video for WAP? Oh yeah. I thought it couldn't get more vulgar like music after like my neck.

My back. Lick my pussy and my crack. But then WAP is just... What about last year? They had... So hot. You're such a fucking hoe. I love it. Like, that's pretty gnarly. Yeah, but that's just... Not really. Pretty gnarly. I've got a wet-ass pussy. That's more gnarly and vulgar than you're such a fucking hoe. I love it. It's just what happens to the human body. Yeah. That's true. It's a reaction. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess that was medical. Yeah, one of them's actually worse. If dudes have been rapping for however long about how their stroke is and fucking... Go see Butthole. Like, go ahead and rap about it. Like, it doesn't... I don't fucking care. If girls want to rap about how good they fuck, tight. Yeah. I'm down with that, sure. But it is making me horny. LAUGHTER

Yeah, sure, but I don't want to walk around with a boner in my regular everyday life. Yeah, when I'm jogging around the lake, I'm not trying to get a fucking hard on. But that's like back in the day, my mom would not let me listen to MTV or watch MTV because of that content. So then I had a battle with fucking censorship my entire life and was like...

You know what I mean? So what do you do? What do you... I don't know. I think you just let them... I mean, my parents didn't really... Shit. No, I could watch anything. I could watch any R-rated movie and listen to anything. The only real...

thing that they would stop me was like porno. Like I couldn't like, if there was like nudity, Hey, uh, we're putting up the roadblock here on hardcore porn. Adam, turn it off. No, but like, uh,

Like, if we're watching a movie and there's, like, a sex scene and there's nudity, they'd be like, cover your eyes when I was a kid. Could they say it like that? But then, meanwhile, in RoboCop, you know, they could just blast people's heads off. Right. And it could be the most violent thing of all time. And my parents are like, my dad's like, cool, right? Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome.

He shot his dick off. See, that's where the argument for wet ass pussy comes in because it's like we should be having a conversation about how pussies get wet and that's what goes down. We should not be saying like, isn't it cool that you can blow people away? So wait, you would rather, I mean, sure, I guess, but you'd rather have a conversation with your parents...

about how pussies get wet, wet-ass pussies, than watching Terminator with your father. I'm just saying, the cultural shift. That's what's fucked up. I mean, if you approach it the right way, that conversation isn't a hard one to have. Right. No. Wet-ass pussies? Yes. Yeah. It's the...

With your child. Isn't that crazy? It's like, that's how like caught up in puritanical we are about like sex. We can't just be like talking about it. But as far as like someone getting their head blown off and murdered, we're like, that shit's tight. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I know. Like it's wet because it's cleaning itself, right? Yeah.

If you're joining us now, this is important. I didn't realize this was a medical podcast. You would know the answer to that if you had this conversation, if you were growing up right now with your forward-thinking parents. I just assume it's about the vagina's self-cleansing. It's flushing. It's flushing. Mommy. Mommy, it's flushing itself.

Oh, boy. Mommy! I guess you're right. I'd rather just talk about murder. Murder, murder, murder. Kill, kill, kill. Yeah, see? You'd rather just watch a head getting exploded. Daddy, why did he kill that man? Hmm.

Time to eat. Fruit for thought, man. Fruit for thought. Fruit for thought, brother. That is fruit for thought right there. What a fruit for thought. Oh, that's fruit for thought. T-H-O-T, am I right? Blake, I would like to extend an apology and actually a take back for kind of shitting on your Grateful Dead hat a little earlier on.

I didn't realize you're such a deadhead now. Thank you. I didn't know you're walking that path. I thought you were just sporting the hat as a fashion choice instead of a musical journey that you're going on. And I would like to apologize. And I do appreciate that. I accept it. You know, I have been walking down the path. It's been my Corona deep dive. I've been a deadhead lately. So thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for acknowledging that. Any other take backs, compliments or apologies?

I think we kind of got on your head for saying commercial at one point. You know, we were really on Adam today about some of his vocal slip-ups, and it happens, you know? It happens. Hey, it happens. Maybe that should be the podcast name. It happens. It happens. You know, I'll pile right on that and say, Adam, I'd like to actually compliment you for something that you did 10 years ago, and that was that story that you said where you –

You called out in front of a room of people that you had pooped in the plant. Yeah. And I don't know another person that would have done that. And I think that that's what makes you special. And I'm proud to be your boy. Thank you, Kyle. Wow. Okay. That one was, that one was real. I liked that one. Adam starting that movement of hashtag get ahead of it. Call it out. That's what I'm saying. Hey, I'm living by that. You got to get ahead of it. Someone was going to find that poop.

I was standing right by that pot of plant. They could have brought that on me. I got ahead of it. I'd like to get ahead of something here and apologize to the listeners at home in your cars, wherever you might be for referencing the Bullworth soundtrack. It was just, it was a big deal when I was in high school, get a superstar. That is what you are with Maya. I don't think I've ever seen the movie.

And I just want to get ahead of anybody who says the movie's better than the soundtrack. I barely listened to either, and I've never seen the movie. Yeah, that's good on you, dude. Yeah, I was going to say something. That was smart. Very smart. Big of you for admitting that you've never seen that movie after you dissed it. Very big. And I just want to thank all the listeners for tuning in to...

This is important. This is important. I thought we were all doing that at the same time. All right. There we go. Goodbye. See you next week.

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