Ep 39: The Guys Don’t Know What Fruits Are
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Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese! It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it. What? I know, I'm crazy. Yeah, dude, it's hella good. You gotta try it. With so many unique recipes...

How could you go wrong? And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This is Important...

They all jizzed in a cookie and ate it. Get out of the hole before you can't climb it. Peace, we're going to Tom Hanks' house to do cocaine. I can't come unless somebody's brushing my cock with a pair of headphones on. Let's go. Yes. Oh, yeah. We're back.

Know what I mean? Yeah, another AM podcast feeling good. Guten Morgen. And we're back. Sorry about this, guys. I am shooting nights on the Righteous Gemstones, and Kelvin has to sleep in. Wake up! Adam's fine. Adam could have gotten up even earlier, but Kelvin...

The character needs his beauty rest. He's a handsome little fuck. Right. Oh, you're fully in. You're fully DDL'd over there, huh? Is that what's going on? And what is that acronym? You're fully Daniel Day-Lewis. You are in character all the time now. You're at that part. Oh, yeah. DDL? I didn't hear you. Yeah, DDL? Daniel Day-Lewis? Yeah, totally. Yeah, method actor. Yes, I am. I should do the whole episode like Kelvin. Oh, dear. Adam, can you actually go off for a second? Just hit mute and take your headphones off. Everyone at home, Adam...

goes deep into character. He doesn't even know the transition is happening when he turns into Cali. He's listening. He's listening. I can still hear it. He can hear you. Oh, hang on. I haven't clicked it. That's out of the bag. You're an actor. Okay, I'm off. Okay, he's off. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so now he's off. I hate him.

That was a cover. I knew that he was going to take the time and do the whole joke. Obviously, he knows he's an actor, but I hate him, and he's definitely not listening right now. I definitely know he's not listening, and I share the same with you, Anders. I hate him. And I'm back. Hey, Adam. Did we cover it? Hey. Bye.

So anyway, I hope you didn't hear about the whole actor thing. Yeah, I am an actor. Yeah, you are. Hey, how is it shooting nights? Does everyone want to talk about shooting nights? Oh, shooting nights. Shooting nights. If you've ever worked nights or had that kind of schedule, it is fucking crazy. You're going to sleep when the sun comes up. You're getting up when the sun goes down. It's weird. Well, I feel like when you, like if you, because my dad worked nights growing up.

Like, I would say 40% of the time. Right. Well-known local prostitute. Yep. He's a street walker. You should see some photos. Well-known. Just got them stans. You see them down the block, butt cheeks flapping. Hello!

You know what I mean? So he works for the railroad, hooking, and yeah, he had nights all the time. And once you get in that rhythm, I feel it's better. Like once you're like a week in and you get in the rhythm, it's fine. But here we're just doing like... The rhythm of the night. The last three days of the week, we fall into nights. And then you're going to work. Today I go in at like 3. We have a scene...

we'll shoot that scene. Then the sun will set and then we'll do nights for the rest of the night. Right. Yeah. That's the craziest part about the shooting nights, especially if you're slipping into it. Mondays, you start work at 7 a.m.,

And then Fridays you start work at 3 p.m. Right. That's the inside Hollywood that people want from the podcast, baby. The abuse. They want to know the inside, our sleep patterns. Yeah, it's strange. Everybody that's listening to us in Philly wants to know the sleep patterns. This is when I nigh-nigh. This is when I wake-wake.

One of the weirdest nights I ever did on a shoot was for this movie I did called Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. Oh, yeah. And basically, like, I got there around, I want to say, like, 9 o'clock. I shot, like, for a couple hours.

My pre-scene before, I turn into a zombie. I'm just part of the very first scene of the movie. So I shot for like three hours. Then I went into the makeup chair for like three hours. And by the time I got out, you know, it's like the sun's coming out. Right.

And I'm in all this zombie makeup and I was falling asleep on the floor because I was so tired in this zombie makeup. And like I had these huge contacts and it was just the most surreal experience. I felt kind of like Daniel Day-Lewis, like I was a zombie. You were in it. Now that's great. Great. Yeah. And have you taken the makeup off yet?

Or is that how you look? Well, I kind of look like a zombie now, don't I? Oh, and we've lost Adam. Adam's gone. We lost Adam. I guess he did have to go. He was talking about that. Yeah, he did mention that he was going to have to cut out early. We didn't realize it was, well, four minutes and 43 seconds into the part. Right.

Bye-bye. And by the way, this is why I hate him. Goodbye. Yeah, it's rough. It has nothing to do with him personally. It's just his internet connection. It causes extreme rage. All business. It's the chonk. It's the chonk. He be chonking. It's the chonka. Another thing about the shooting nights thing, a different version, is when you're on set for a very long time shooting night stuff.

and you're like in a house that's built on a set and like it's dark and they're like okay so climb in the bed and like their lighting and everything

You get sleepy. You start to zonk. You're talking about like when you're shooting days, but you're shooting nights. Right. And then you go outside and you're like, oh, it's 1.30 in the afternoon. I thought it was fucking one in the morning. Yep. It's like a Vegas casino scenario. You're in a house. It's like you're playing a house party. It happens to be 9 a.m. in the morning, but you're playing it like it's 9 p.m. at night. And it's like, what?

You finally come out to go get a granola bar at the snack table and you're like, where the fuck am I? Right. They would drop those black cloths on the windows at the dude's house, like on Workaholics, and you would just forget. Kyle, would that be Duvetyne or I don't know? Yes, good job. Hello. Okay. Yes, that is Duvetyne. That's right. Good job. This is my cousin, Duvetyne.

Duvetyn is what? How would you describe that? It's like this kind of like a metal sheet of paper, sort of? No, duvetyn is a very soft cloth that has a soft side and a hard side, and it absorbs light. Never touched it. So this is how you know when Blake would get on set.

Workers would have to move the duvety and for him to walk through. It's cool that I immediately followed up kind of something smart where I recalled something with a total stupid answer. Well, what am I thinking where it's like that metal paper you put around lights? Right. Yeah, that's like tinfoil painted black.

That has to be able to stand the heat. Ah, yes. And that's to shape the light. If you want to get into grip class, I mean, I'm ready to rock. Should we just go buy some black tinfoil? That shit's cool. Hell yeah. Cook with it. Goth tinfoil? I might wrap my wagon in that. Just murder it out. That could be kind of cool. Like the matte look. Yes.

Right. Reynolds Wrap. I'm down for that. Just drive and see if it stays on. That can't just... There has to be a name for that. I feel like with on set, even the smallest inventions are patent. Remember the whole thing about... So when you're getting miked for...

anything, you're getting your mic, you're getting your, you know, it taped to your chest or whatever. They have to put the, drop the wire down like your pants or your shirt or whatever. There's literally this little metal thing that they like. A weight. Yeah. They call that the bullet, the bullet. That's the trademark. Right. Right. It could be anything. And it's shaped like a bullet. So it slides down your pant leg easily because fashion in the last 10 years, pants have gotten a lot tighter and,

Uh, so somebody invented it to kind of snake down your pant leg easier and they patented it, but that's the whole side hustle of being on a set. And before that there was people, sound guys were reaching up in to grab the end. So it was a little intrusive. Can y'all imagine that? Yo, how about this? How about this? I'm not going to say what production this was on.

Okay, good. We had a sound guy and it wasn't that, but I confirmed it with somebody. We had a sound guy who twice a week, he would be feeding the thing down your leg or trying to get your mic all set and he would just brush your dick with the back of his hand. Did this dude just do this? Oh, hi!

Right. So it would happen probably twice a week in a way that you're like, there's no way this dude doesn't know that that just happened. Right. And I brought it up to another guy on set. I'm like, yo, have you ever? And he was like, it's crazy. And I was like, do we say something? And then he was like, well, I don't know. Like he'll get fired and shit.

And I was like, all right, yeah, like, this, I don't know. I guess we just let this slide. So you're saying he would touch your genitalia with the back of his hand? Brush. There would be contact. Brush. It'd be a gentle brush? There was more contact. First of all, let me just say this. These people are very careful about what they do, right? They're working with your body. They know it. But

But it is part of their job to get in there and put microphones on you. And there was just this contact that you're like, come on. How do you not know this is happening? I've got a big fucking boner right now. It was occurring too often for it to be a mistake. Yes. So is that... Now, let's walk this down the path. Is that something that this guy or girl... We don't know who this person was. I'm not going to say. But they're possibly...

doing this on purpose accident. Is that what you're thinking? I think it was, what do we say on Workaholics? Accidentally on perpters? Yeah. Accidentally on perpters. Yeah. Right. It was definitely, because I brought it up to the other homie, I'm like, is this happening to you? And he goes, dude, it's crazy. I've never, he's like, it's for sure.

And then we just for like weeks would talk about it. Like, yeah, it just happened. Wow. So then you had confirmation. And it was like, are we going to get him fired? But we just did. We were like, oh man, like this, this little pervert, we're going to get him fired over this. And like, maybe it is, maybe it is on purpose. Maybe it's not. I don't know. Adam, what do you think? Adam?

Adam? Silence. So this kind of turned into a little bit of like, you kind of dug it because it was a bonding experience between you and your castmate. Okay. I guess I should write him a thank you note. Yeah, I think if you're still friends with the castmate, you might want to let the sound guy know that this is their sound girl, that this was them. They did it. It was a guy. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Okay. I like that. All right, cool. It was hot. It was hot. I mean, it was just one of those moments where you're like...

Do I bring this up, get this guy fired, and save everyone else from a cock brush, a two-a-week cock brush? Well, what was weird, and I don't know what set this was, is that Adam knew it was happening, and Adam just stood by and let this happen to you. So that's on him. Right, Adam? Yeah.

Adam? Adam, not here. No comments still to this day. He's shooting knights. We know he's shooting knights. We know he's shooting knights. We know he's shooting knights and he's in character, so that's good. These kind of things happen. But this is what happens, guys. We're doing it live. Not live? No, recorded to tape.

It's not live. No, we'll have Adam ADR his parts in later. Fuck it! Anyway, I guess the end of that whole thing is that I can't come unless somebody's brushing my cock with a pair of headphones on. A little back of the hand action, and that's it. And I like it when they take the little bullet thing from the microphone and kind of just pull it into my little... Into the hole of the...

What? Adam? What's that? I'm sorry. I thought Adam said something. I saw Adam. I thought Adam might have came up on the Zoom real quick, but no. But that's the whole side hustle of the industry, really. It's like if you're working in this business and you kind of see a...

like just something that can be done better. You're like, oh my God, I've got the million dollar idea. Because that bullet dude, those bullets are not cheap and everyone uses them all the time. Every single set has a bullet. And we had a makeup dude who was always trying to invent like

the new makeup bag. Yep. Reinventing the wheel. You want to make everybody's life easier and if you can be the guy who comes up with the thing, like the fact that makeup artists on shows, all their bags are clear so they can see exactly where the shit that they need is. I'm like, that's genius because before that... Somebody did that.

Yeah. Oh, Kyle, remember? Kyle. Kyle. What's up, buddy? There was some... Wasn't there... I don't know whose invention it was, but they were trying to invent a new chair on set. Wasn't there like... Yeah, yeah. That was...

What was that? Wait. Well, specifically, yes. Do you remember it was a chair? Was it, did it have to do with the Apple box? Yes. Or was it just, it was, right? It was like something that goes on the Apple box and then you just sit on that. I mean, that's a thing, but whoever made that. Right. It was like a pad that goes on an, it was wheels that go on an Apple box? Yeah.

Yeah. It like mobilized an Apple box and made it comfortable to sit on. And Apple boxes are, uh, Apple boxes, right? Like a one by one by three box made out of wood that you can use for multiple purposes on a film set. And again, this is why people turn in to, this is important. This is important. Thank you, Adam. Are you back? So I just got back. Hey, Oh, Hey Adam, any thoughts on Apple boxes? Uh,

I'm stealing my neighbor's internet. They have a fucking internet at this house. It keeps going out and it's... It's an outer net. You're chunking. It's still not good. You're chunking over here, buddy. Still not great. Have you ever hard-lined it? And then we'll talk about your internet connection. The internet isn't working at all. The internet. You look great. Thanks, guys. Carry on. Yeah. Have you been shooting nights? You look great for it. Yeah, you do. Have you been wearing HIMSS lotion on your face? No.

You look great. Oh, a little hems, a little hems and haws. A little hem and a little haw in. Oh, my. Hey, for everyone at home, Adam looks not happy right now. Yeah. He's just staring down. I can't tell if he's frozen or if he's just about to cry. Oh, there he is. I saw him blink. He's not pumped. And I've seen him pumped twice. This is not that. This is not that time. Still sad. Like, if this is the guy who I'm going to see in the Ozarks...

No. Is he frozen or is he still sad? What is he reading? I don't know. I can't tell. He looks like frozen in Saddam Kravine. Yeah, he might. I think he just got fired. Adam? Oh, there we are. Oh, my God. Somebody screenshot this. This is going to be really good video footage. Yeah.

Adam, can you hear us? Oh, boy. He's got nothing. Oh, boy. All right. Well, Adam's MIA. We got a frozen back. We'll probably get pop-ins from him throughout this pod. Kyle, do you want to talk about NorCal, man? Oh, dude, I'm up in NorCal, man. What is popping off up there, dude? I know that there's all sorts of bad shit happening in the Bay, but what's the good shit? Well, the good shit is my kids and wife are at the...

what is it? The Lindsay Museum of Science, Alexander Lindsay Museum today, which is cool out in Berkeley. Hell yeah. I happen to love that town. I love Berkeley. I was pretty excited to go, but then the pod got rescheduled and now we are recording. So I'm missing that. It's science. So sorry. But yeah, it is. It's science. Uh,

I live right under Mount Diablo, which is the Devil's Mountain, which makes me feel safe somehow, some way. That's right, you worship the devil, we forgot. Correct, correct, yes. Adam, do you worship anybody? No. No?

Oh, Adam. Hey, okay. He's in here. He's here. He's listening. I'm hearing like every sixth word. Yeah, yeah. I actually just made the drive to the Bay Area last... When was that? Oh, dude. That was the other day, and that was what's popping. We actually said what was popping in the Bay. We had to do a tourist video for Concord, California, where we went on a taco trail and ate a heck of tacos and...

and they were so fucking good, I'm just going to say. You just said hecka and fucking in the same sentence. That's tight. Yeah, right. If we could take one thing away, the tacos in Concord are hecka fucking good. Dude. Those are going to be t-shirts.

Hopefully. What kind of tacos are we talking? Like carne asada? Chicken? They had carne? What was the one that you guys had? The buche? Did you have the buche? I had some buche-ass tacos. I didn't even know what that was about, but basically it's like a taco that you dip in like a spicy grease. I thought it was stomach. How's that shoot out the other end? Yeah.

Wasn't it stomach? It's like, that's the meat? Oh, yeah, wait, yeah, you're right. That's pork stomach. What was the little tacos we had that you dipped in grease? It's really weird. Like, for some reason, well, I know why, but Concord has, like, really good tacos because, like, in Monument Boulevard, there's been a pretty decent Hispanic population. So, like, there's just tons of, like, sick, in-the-cut, like, taco spots.

And we were like, oh, we're going to hit – there's like 39 spots on the list. We're like, we're going to try to hit them all. We got through five, and then Teddy ended up throwing up in a bush, and it was like, okay. Who's Eddie? Teddy. Teddy. Oh, Teddy. Hell yeah. Friend of the show. Thought you were talking about Eddie October. So say, guys, so I heard that conversation. Yes. Nice.

Was it like a festival that was put on or you guys just had a list and you decided to make t-shirts and march up and down? Because I saw a photo, I think, and it's like you guys were like, I heart Conker Tacos. I heart radio. And you guys had matching t-shirts, which is cute and I liked that. But was this...

put on through the city of Concord. Concord's like, yo, we got to get our taco name out there. Yeah. Well, yeah. So like the big news in Concord is like over Corona, a visitor center opened. Perfect timing. Oh, good. Now you can go to www.visitconcordca.com. Got it. It's on the back of a taco shirt. And it rolls off the tongue. Definitely. Adam's going there now. Yeah. Hey, visit, go to...

It's gotovisit. No, I think it's .gotovisitconquered, the city of Concord.

Tacos.net. Tom Hanks is from here.com. Dot Tom. Well, the thing is that Tom Hanks is from Concord, but he won't come out and do a taco video. He won't. He's too busy eating babies. He's too busy eating adrenal glands. There's no delicious babies up there. But Kyle and I, we're down. You're going to land on us. Yeah, we show up. The grease you were dipping those into was not baby grease, so T. Hanks ain't doing it.

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I've been to Concord a handful of times. Does Tom Hanks admit to being from Concord? Is he out? Is he waving the flag? Because you guys are waving the flag loud and proud, and I appreciate and love that about you guys. Thank you. But Tommy Hanks, I haven't heard much. Yeah. Well, yeah, he's maybe. Okay. All right. Yikes. Well, if you www.gotoconcordcavisit.com, please.

Go to. Yeah. And that's probably why Tom Hanks is steering clear. It's a lot of jizz jokes. I actually thought Tom Hanks was from Oakland. I didn't think he was from Concord. Didn't he go to your high school? Yeah, he went to your high school, Kyle. No, he went to Concord High. We went to Clayton Valley High School.

Oh, CV. Oh, he did go to Concord High? I thought he was in Piedmont. I thought he was a Piedmont boy. Maybe. Hey, so this is the issue, Kyle. You're from Concord. You wear t-shirts saying, I love Concord tacos. You're a big Concord guy. Right. You don't know that the most famous person maybe in the world is Kyle Gass.

Arguably. Okay. Arguably, but... Let's let Adam finish. He's back now. Yeah, arguably, it's the guitarist from Tenacious D, or maybe the largest movie star in the history of movies. Yeah, right. No, I mean... I think that's the issue, and that's why this visitor center is so goddamn important. I know. And they need to have a wing of Tom Hanks...

And you guys, your names will be printed on a flyer. You know what, though? Here's another issue while you're bringing up issues, okay? Okay. The thing is, is like, now you're bringing up the issue about Tom Hanks. No, the issue is, is that you're undercutting your boy, Blake, getting his wing at the conquered.gotocenter. Yes, points! He doesn't get a wing. For a Tom Hanks wing, when really- I'm sorry. No, man, champion for your boy. Champion for your boy. Hello.

Blake doesn't deserve a wing yet. Nope. He hasn't done enough for a wing. What? Nope. Are we being real or are you putting on fake eyebrows right now, Kyle? Because those look like fake ass eyebrows. Wow. What does it take to get a wing? Well, like several movies. Well, I would say you have to star in about 50 movies and right now you have 49 to go. You were in the opening of the zombie movie. Yeah. Hey. Tom Hanks is in whole movies. Yeah.

You got Game Over Man, and he's got like 50 movies. I feel like he deserves a wing. Dope. He's got dope. That's true. You guys deserve like a cardboard cutout or something, for sure. I think. I think that's probably, I mean, cool. Yeah, sure. Whatever, bro. Reality check. That's just a reality check. Okay, well, here. I'm on Tom Hanks. I'm on his Wikipedia. Yeah, what does the wiki say about Mr. Hanks?

Okay, he didn't go to school in Concord, but he was born in Concord, California on July 9th. And got the fuck out. He's a Piedmont boy. Okay. Well, you know where I got that he went to Concord High or whatever? From you guys. I only got that information from y'all.

Every time they introduce themselves or say where they're from, they're like, Tom Hanks is from there. It's like a half joke, but he's not even from there. And Nujic has obviously smoked that part of his brain away because he doesn't remember driving past that school, pointing at it, being like, Tom Hanks went to school there. That wasn't me. I'm like, Tom Hanks is an Oakland dude. I was like, what is this? I know who's the Concord people.

Well, Walnut Creek guy, Kyle Gass. Okay, I'm going to bring him up again. But he's not even Concord. Who's from Concord? Blake Anderson, Kyle Nwacek. I do want to say you guys had a fast swimmer come out of Concord.

Laura Davis. Is that who it was? Yeah. And guys, if that's the case, you deserve a wing. If that's the case, if it's just you guys and there's not Tom Hanks, the biggest movie star in the world. If he isn't actually from there, if he was just born there and then they stole the baby to another city, they're like, he has got too much talent in his veins. He cannot be raised here. And they snatched him and took him to Oakland. And they're like, here you shall blossom, you and MC Hammer. Yeah.

Yeah, right. And assuming other people. Right. Together as one. Yeah, there's lots of people from the Bay. And the wing that Adam is talking about is a lemon pepper wing from fucking Wingstop. Hello. That's what we're talking about. Hey, and here's your wing. The whole place ain't that big, so it's going to have to be something like that.

Concord Center is not a museum. It is an office. And what's that website again? That's www.visitconcordca.com. Hey, I think that's the real one. And that actually did. Yeah, that seemed real. That's great. Thanks. Hey, guys, I'm waking up. I'm waking up. You know, our fans are sitting here. They're listening. They're like,

oh man, Adam was gone for a while. They were floundering. Yes. Yeah. And then they were like, now they're giving us this fake website. It's not making a lot of sense. Natalie Coughlin, straight out of Concord. I knew it. She's a 100 flyer, world record holder back in the early 2000s. Oh, wow. Shout out to Natalie Coughlin. There we go. And it's Coughlin for sure, right? Great walls. Great walls. Coughlin. Coughlin. Coughlin. Coughlin.

How would you guys say that name? Coughlin or Coughlin? Guys out there who know swimming, it's Coughlin. I would say that as Coughlin. I would say Coughlin. I would say that as Coughlin. But hey. Because it's a cough. It's C-O-U-G-H-L-I-N. Hey, guys. Rowdy Gaines pronounces it Coughlin. So guys. Yeah, that's cool. Don't battle Rowdy. Know what I mean? Know what I mean? The end all be all. Rowdy Gaines. So she's got a wing for sure.

All right. And hit us with that website one more time, Blake, just for the fans, the listeners. They're out there. They want to visit. Because Adam was gone for a minute. He might have missed it a little bit. Guys, if you want to check out the taco route we went on, the official Concord Taco Trail, go on down to www.visitconcordca.com.

There you go. Thank you. Thank you for that. Adam, you missed me talk about a sound guy in a production who would just brush against my cock twice a week. Have you ever had anybody like that on a production? No.

Yeah, did this dude just did this? I used to have this, he wasn't a sound guy. Just a guy. No, he was a grip, but he would always come up and then- He got a grip, all right. He gripped something. Yeah, no, honestly. And he would always be like, hey, can I get underneath you? And then start sucking my cock. Right, right.

Yeah, and just pull it out and just start. And this is honest? You're being honest? What is my... Hey, I don't know. You're looking at my face. This is honest? He would call it testing the microphone. He'd be, uh, you kind of test the mic. Can I get under you? Yeah. He was like, I got to grip something real quick. And I'm like, I don't know. I guess, hey, you're part of the union. You have to do it. And then he would just... Right. All right. And after that, he was the best boy? Yeah.

But to answer your question, I don't think I've ever had anyone accidentally graze. No, no, no. This is on purpose. Oh, it was a real... Well, yeah. It would happen like twice a week where you're like, that was on purpose for sure. I never had anyone that I truly worked with, but doing those meet and greets after standup shows, people were...

People would grab your dick. People would grab your ass. Legitimately, there would be a solid 15, 20 times. And that was just Adam Ray. And that was just my opening act, Adam Ray. Yeah, so people are wild, man. I couldn't imagine just working with someone, one thing. That's even crazier because you're going to see them every day. Or another, just you're out and about and then someone just...

grabs your ass or you go and you see like a famous like a celebrity that you're a fan of and then you just like assault them right I mean I loved it every time I but that's just me and my personality other people probably wouldn't yeah perks of the job right oh yeah but those guys only got one chance

They figure to themselves they got one chance to give a little graze. You know what I mean? It's like they're going to snap a selfie, they're going to maybe shake your hand, and they're going to maybe graze your wee-wee. Genitals. Your hoo-hoos. Or grab your butt cheeks. My wing-bows. The tight hug you get for a selfie with somebody, and you're like, oh, hey, okay.

Hi. Hi. We're doing this. Hello. Hi. Is that him? Yeah. Okay, he's there. Take a sip. Okay. Yeah, it's that morning show. That acai bowl is kicking in. Yeah. Did you have one of those? I freaking wish. I love acai bowls. They're probably my favorite breakfast. And where are the...

Where the hell did those things come from? They weren't around when I was a kid. Now they're everywhere. I want to talk to the publicist of acai because they're doing great work.

I love that Amazon fruit, let me tell you. Or berry. It's a berry. Are berries not fruits? Yeah, they're fruits. Is a berry a fruit? Oh, we got our podcast title. Is a berry a fruit? Be sure and tune into that. 100%. A strawberry is a fruit. A blueberry is a fruit. Is a berry a fruit? Did you know that a kiwi is a berry? Yeah.

We're learning a lot about each other. We don't know what fruits are. Don't know how to tell time. I can't speak. Remember when you had your first kiwi and it was all furry on the outside? So you're like, all right, what is this? But then you get on that inside and it's pretty damn good, isn't it? Wait, dude, do you know that I eat the skin on the kiwi? What? Did you know that? Have any of you guys ever done that? Well, laugh.

Gross. Yummy. Why? What? Yeah, why do you eat the fur? Why do you eat the fur of the skin? Because I got sick of cutting it, and then I saw this PA or an assistant up in Canada, up in Toronto. She was like, I just eat the whole thing. And I was like, what? Do it. And she did it. And I was like, and you're cool? Yeah. She was like, watch, I'm going to get Kyle to eat the whole thing. I just have to eat it once. I eat the whole thing. Yeah, and I looked it up, and it's fine. He actually got a lot of the fiber. I'm sure it's fine, but the outside doesn't taste good. Yeah. No, it's...

Awesome. You can eat the rind of a watermelon. It's so dope because you snap right into it. You could keep the hair on ribs. Hey, I want my ribs, the hair on. Thank you. No barbecue sauce. I eat the rind of a watermelon. I eat all that shit. Why? It's delicious. It's great. It's not delicious. Adam, the rind of a... You're going to go on record saying the rind of a watermelon is delicious. I think it's rind-a.

I know, but he said rind. Weird, wild stuff. However you say rind or rind. Rhyme or reason. Yeah, I eat the rind. But it's not delicious. It's for sure not good. To me, I like it. I eat this sweet treat. So you would eat just, would you eat the bowl? Hang on, you want to know? Would you eat a bowl? No, I want to ask you this question. Would you eat, if someone had a bowl of just the rind, you'd be like, oh, I'll have that. That's delicious. Oh.

I don't know if it depends on if I was hungry or not. If he's hungry, he's going. Well, wait. Hold on. Let's say this. In this scenario, Adam, you're hungry.

Okay, then yeah. I'm pissed now! Then absolutely. So he's eating it. Yeah, that's fine. No, I mean, I guess delicious is the wrong word. I'm sorry that threw you for a fucking loop, Durs. I said delicious, and you got spun out of control. It's a very specific word. It's not delicious. Well, why don't you cry about it?

I like it. I like it. When I eat a watermelon and I get to the end, I'm like, guess what, baby? I'm not stopping. I like the crunchiness of it. I like that you got to chew it a little bit. You say that to the watermelon? I like it. Honestly, Adam, I love that about you. I love that you eat everything. He eats the whole apple too. I know. I love it.

I think it's so fucking cool, dude. I think you're so ahead of the curve on this, bro. And I'm like, just, I'm into you. I'm just a fucking garbage disposal of a human. And I don't mind it. You know, I think I started eating the core of the apple, like, as a child, like, as a bit. Like, as a kid.

Like as a, I'm a wild man. Yes. And then now I can't. And also like, what do you do with it? Then you have this piece of garbage with you and you're out and about and I don't want to just like throw it somewhere. So I was like, you know what? I'll eat it. You throw it anywhere. It is an apple. A squirrel will come eat it because that's what apple cores are for. Squirrels. I throw my apple cores and I hope that a tree pops up. Like every time I finish an apple, I throw the core and I pretend like I'm Johnny Appleseed. Yeah. Adam, every time you eat it, you're not planting a tree. Yeah.

No, because what I do is I always shit in my yard. Oh, so you're putting the seeds out there. Always, constantly. It's science. I...

I'm fine. I'm always sprinting outside and shitting in our yard. Hey, what are you doing over there? Oh, I'm planting a tree, asshole. I'm planting a tree, sir. Do you have a problem with that? It's called hue manure. I feel like Adam admitted that eating the apple core started as a bit. To me, it kind of feels like, Kyle, you eating the skin of the kiwi is also a similar thing where it's kind of become like this thing you're proud to say you do. It's a little off-center. You're like...

Guys, I actually eat the furry, disgusting part of a kiwi. That's how you introduce yourself. But it's not furry or disgusting. It's just the shell of it, and you just bite right into it. It's delicious. No one's saying it's disgusting. It's just not good, and you don't have to eat it. Not preferred. And I've used this word before on this podcast to deaf ears, but it's purely utilitarian. Well said. I grab a kiwi. I run it underwater. I don't need a knife.

I just eat it. I don't need a knife. You don't got to cut anything. Yeah, it's less work. It is utilitarian as fuck. It's a kiwi. It's a kiwi. You can use your finger. It's not a knife. You don't need a knife for a kiwi. Yeah, you do. You can tear a kiwi apart with your bare hands. Blake is strong. Yeah, but then there's just juices all down the front of you. That sounds hot. Yeah, that's not... Oh, my God. You're missing on some good stuff. The skin has good stuff. You do need to wash it, but the skin has good stuff.

The skin's got good stuff. The skin's got good stuff. You can't just... Hey, Kyle. What up? I got an idea for the salad bar. Yeah, what up, baby? If you're a company and you've been throwing away the rind and the skin, just send it to Kyle's salad bar where there's a whole trough of it because there's good stuff in it. Well, I never said I would eat a bowl of the skin.

Okay. Hey, there's good stuff in it. You know what, though? If you fucking dehydrated the skin of a kiwi. Come on to Carl's Good Stuff Salad Bar. If you dehydrated the skin of a kiwi, I bet it would be bomb as fuck. Bomb as fuck. I'm going to say I doubt it. Maybe if you salt it well. You know what I, you know what, salt it. Bomb as fuck. Salt it. You know what I dehydrated the other day that was off the charts? Some motherfucking mulberries, bro. You guys fuck around with a dehydrator? Anybody? I don't know.

You know, dehydrating takes a very long time, correct? It's like an eight-hour process? It's an overnight thing, yeah. So when you're shooting overnights, you can just watch it? Exactly. You can put it in your trailer. You could be dehydrating these kiwis, these apples, anything. It's just... Then it lasts forever, you know? Or a year. Where are you getting your mulberries? My neighbor's.

My neighbor has a mulberry tree, and they're just falling on the ground. Are you sure you're not eating some kind of poison berry? Very positive. You say poison or boysen? I said poison, but perhaps it's a poison. Who's coming up with boysenberry as if that's a good name? That's a terrible name to call something a boysenberry. Yeah, because it sounds very close to poison. Don't eat that. It's a boysenberry.

I know, I love boysenberries. I know, I love boysenberries. It's a boysenberry pie. That was originally like the homie trying to get his neighbors not to eat his berries. He's like, dude, they're boysenberries. He's like, yeah, I've been eating them, bro. Boysenberries rock. When I was a kid, my neighbor had this tree with all these little berries on it. Two of my favorite things, boysenberries. I'm into it. Can you hear us, Adam?

I'm trying to talk. You motherfuckers won't shut the fuck up. I just heard it. Yeah. I'm trying to get into this conversation for the last 10 minutes. When he was a kid.

I'm good. Damn, we were heating up. My man had a story about neighbors and berries that I'm trying to hear. Yeah. I had a really good neighbors and berries story. But I also think he's told this story on the podcast before. That's possible. Well, then you tell it, motherfucker. Because someone was poisoning him or he was poisoning people. Oh, he started to make jellies out of the... Okay.

Okay, and I might have told this story before, but my neighbor had a berry tree, and I plucked off all the berries, and I found out if you squished it, it made like a gack situation, and I sold it to all my neighborhood kids, and everyone got really, really sick. Right, right. No deaths, though. No, someone died, dude. No, I didn't kill it. Allegedly, allegedly. They all died. No, and everyone in my neighborhood died. It was a...

a mass death. Hulu's doing a documentary on it now. Adam, what would happen if they did die? Would you go to prison? As a kid, how old were you? 10, 8, 9? Yeah, I was probably 8 or 9. If you were 8 years old and poisoned 12 kids by just making a drink out of berries, is that involuntary manslaughter or what? I don't know.

I don't know, man. What the heck? I feel like you would definitely get, for sure, get spankings. I feel like I for sure like... Bare bottom? You'd get some bare bottom spankings from a judge. And they would... In Iowa, they would... You'd be convicted with 30 spankings for sure. Yeah. Similar in Concord. Yeah, it's a similar vibe. That's why I liked Concord so much because I'm like, oh, I like this. I feel like...

You're going to make some good friends here, some good lifelong friends here, and also you can easily buy meth anywhere. That's the vibe that I got from Concord that I also get from Waterloo, Iowa. Okay, all right. My man is back. That's the vibe I get from where I grew up in Waterloo, Iowa is the same vibe I got from Concord. I'm like, there's some good people here. We're going to make some great friends. When I was growing up, I found it hard to buy meth.

Is that true? Do you get a similar vibe? I do. I get a very similar vibe from where I grew up until I moved to Omaha, which Omaha is a little bit bigger of a city, so a different vibe. But where I grew up in Waterloo, very similar vibe to Concord. And I would say even the suburbs of where I grew up in Omaha was a similar vibe. You know, a lot of...

Oh, here we go. Like chain restaurants and cool dive bars and suburban kids. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. And readily available methamphetamines. Right. That's the part that I'm going to have to stop you on that one. Did you find a meth dealer while you were at our childhood hometown? What?

No, dude. I just remember being in that one shitty dive bar that we're all in, and I'm like, oh, I bet I could. When you came up here for Thanksgiving, you were just jonesing for meth, and you couldn't find it. You were up here for like three or four days, and we were drunk the whole time. I'll say right now, I've never done meth, but if you guys all want to do meth, I'll do meth with you guys. If we do it on the pod, I'll fucking do it. Yeah, but we have to do it together.

It's just the fastest podcast of all time. We're just dead sprinting through. We thought we did an hour. It was 15 minutes. We're all sweating. Yeah, I think we're done. I think we're done here. We should do meth and then do all of our advertisements. That would actually... That would be cool. That would probably push some product off the rails. Yeah, man. Push some prod. Does that assessment of your guys' hometown ring true besides the meth?

Well, yeah, I mean, it's suburban. It definitely is. It's about 45 minutes outside of a city. There's no real, you have to, yeah, it's, it's, it's out there. It's a lot of chain restaurants for sure. I mean, it felt when I went to Omaha to, to corroborate Adam's story, when I went to Omaha, I did feel like similar vibes. Like I was like, oh, this feels similar, except in Omaha, everything's way more spread out in Concord. It's, it's a little bit closer.

Yeah, I guess a lot of like the difference when you get into places in different suburbs is like it boils down to like your your weather patterns and stuff like Omaha feels like their places are built for snow and stuff and like being indoors, whereas like Concord still has that California vibe of like outdoor seating and all that and.

good Mexican food. Yeah, hell yeah. And a lot of great places to catch some shade, do some math, just chill. Yeah, catching shade, doing math, for sure. Catching shade, yeah, yeah. Do they have like good meth labs kind of thing? Yeah, it felt like there is. Like internet cafes, but there's just meth there too. Yeah, and it's really cool. And I'm feeling like the city of Concord will definitely be asking me back to promote and

The visitor center, as soon as they find out that I've been pushing that it's a hub for math. Hey, you're not pushing it. I'm the one that's pushing it. Here's what I'll say. Those tacos are really addictive and very delicious. Adam's no longer welcome at .go2concrete. Hey, guys, guess what? I was given a day in Omaha, Nebraska. There was an Adam Devine day. That's crazy. It was crazy, actually. And I'll say that Omaha had a real...

Meth problem. Sure. I mean, they really do. Yeah. I think out here in Concord, it might be more opioids out here in Concord. Oh, for sure. Later on. But when we were in high school, Concord was riddled with meth. You could just tell. You could just tell. Like how? What do you mean you could tell? Like places were blowing up or like people were on the streets with no teeth or what? Yeah, some bad teeth, some jittery folks.

So, tweakers. Yeah, in Omaha, it was bad, man. Yeah, well, I will say that I would love to explore what exactly it means to have an Adam Divine day. Do you get to pick what happens, what the celebration is? No. What does it mean? What does it mean? It was when I did my special at the Orpheum, which is our big theater downtown, and shot my Netflix special there, the...

Mayor came and gave me a day, which was really, really cool. Yeah, that's tight. So it just means like on whatever official calendar you buy, it says this is Adam and Divine Day? Is it? I mean, I guess. I don't even know if they're printing my name. It's not on the calendar. No. Do you get a wing at the visitor center? I mean. I think it's just they give fake days to people. I don't think it matters at all. And they definitely don't celebrate it in any way. But, you know, it was really cool. It was cool for my parents. They thought that was really cool.

Do you still go back on your day and let everyone know as you walk past them, like, it's my day? It's just me drunk at a bar going, it's my day. No! And they're like, what?

Right? It's my day. It's my day. They're like, oh yeah, you were in Modern Family or something, right? Yeah, it's my day. I have a day. Yeah, prove it. Is it in a calendar? Prove it. And then it's me going, you got any meth? And then absolutely everybody's like, yeah, obviously. Right, a parade starts, like a Bjork music video. That's tight. That's tight. It's the one day a year where you can do your drugs out in the open. Durs, did Evanston or Chicago in general have a big meth problem? Uh,

I feel like meth has died off, but definitely in the early 2000s, it was a real gnarly situation with the methamphetamines. At least in my part of the Midwest, I know it was... I don't... I'm sure... Yeah, yeah, this is good. This is a good question. I bet there was a meth spike just because there was a popularity with meth in the 2000s, but I don't think there was a meth problem in Chicago. I think crack was already there in Evanston,

I don't know about meth in Evanston. It's just not their wave. They don't surf that. I'm still going to send it. Hey, but you know what? Anybody out there from Evanston who did meth, DM me. We'll talk about it on the next pod for Shizzle. We had a meth lab across the street from our house. Wow. You guys have been to my house. It's a totally normal suburban home and just the most regular ass suburban house. Right. And then right across the street...

Me and I think it was my buddy Zach, we were – it was our senior year and we got off for a period in the middle of the day. We had like a period off during lunchtime. So we went to my house to smoke the weed and chill. And we're sitting there and all of a sudden we see –

like DEA and like full riot gear, march up my sidewalk. And I'm like, oh shit, how much weed do we have? Wow, they're really bringing out all the guns for our $15 worth of weed. And they throw a battering ram through my neighbors who's like across the street, but I could see into their backyard through their back door. And they came in through the front door. And I guess there's a full on fucking meth lab that these people had in their basement.

Like a full-on lab. Breaking bad stuff. Wow, that is very breaking bad, yes. Yeah. You know what? Meth must be fucking good. So maybe that's why I think... Maybe that's where any place that reminds me of where I grew up reminds me of meth. Durs, I was wondering, what is meth? I've never done meth, but, like, what is it? Okay. Well, why are we asking Durs? Durs hasn't done any meth. Well...

Well, laugh. It's a disgusting habit. I just feel like talking to my buddy, Durgs. What do you want? What's up, dude? Yo, it's for sure a bunch of stuff with other things. But I don't know what it is. It's chemicals. I mean, people were... You're asking the wrong guy. They were mixing baking soda with like...

uh like over-the-counter fucking nyquil and shit no i know they make this shit in the bathtubs like because you and sometimes they put carpet in meth and like clorox yeah it's like a lot of chems and then they put like uh even carpet in it because i remember somebody saying is it that good carpet meth and why do you think they put carpet in it and be sure and slide in our dms about the carpet i'm sure it has to have something to do with like what's sealing the bottom of the carpet and you put that in the bathtub and then it like dissolves

You're sure? Yeah. Yeah, he's sure. He's sure about that. Yes, sir. I'm sure it has to do with the bottom of the carpet. Well, I'm sure that that's like the best, that's the best I could come up with. Okay. Yeah, that counts. Like, it must be good though, man. If people are buying it like this and getting hooked, like, fuck. Oh, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Well, the thing is, is like meth,

You don't want to do any drugs that immediately you go from being a handsome-looking person or a beautiful-looking person to the ugliest, most foul-looking thing. Right. It really does destroy your whole being. And it goes so quick. That's why it seems like cocaine's the best drug because in those mug shots where they take the person gets arrested every fucking year for 10 years straight, and then they're like, it's always like four years in, that person looks hot as fuck.

Right. They're like their hottest that they've ever been three or four years into their super addiction. And then it fully goes off the rails.

Yeah, there's been a few of those, what would you call it, chronological mugshot type things. And then I don't want to shout any of them out because most of those people have died already. Sure, sure. Oh my God! We were trying to date you at stage four. That's when the meth is really hitting. Then it starts to really drop off. I feel like meth, I think you're pretty ugly right away. First stop.

Right? It feels like you fall right off the edge of the cliff. But if you were fat, you lose that fat. You get trim. You have a moment. You for sure have that meth moment. True. But then you start to get the sores and the face tats. Yeah, you get the sores. Next thing you know, it says Mr. Ice on your forehead. And it's like, what is this even? Mr. Ice. That's the automatic tattoo. It says property of Mr. Ice. What does her tattoo say? It says Mr. Ice.

It says property of Mr. Ice. Fuck. Yeah, I just do always remember any time you would drive through like on the way to Vegas or maybe it was even in Concord. There'd be those posters that said I lost me to meth and I was like, I'm

Like, mmm. People are losing themselves to meth. One of our greatest sentences ever. Yeah. The ad wizard for that was just a genius. I lost me. As opposed to, like, I lost myself. Whatever. This kid that I knew in high school that he... Wait, is that grammatically incorrect? He was, like, a star basketball player, and he was, like, a stud. But he was, like, I'm a senior, and this kid's a freshman. And he was, like...

yo, Adam, can I get a ride home from school? And I'm like, no, I don't want to. I'm not going to take you home from school. Well, you were a freshman. He's a freshman. Oh, he was a freshman. Yeah, and I'm like, no, no, dude. And he's like, I'll smoke weed with you. And I'm like, get in, buddy. And then he hops in. We're smoking weed together. I'm going to drop him off at his house. And he goes, as we're smoking weed, he goes, hey, dude, have you ever smoked weed with a balming fluid in it?

And I'm like, what? Like what they pump dead bodies with. What is that? Formaldehyde? I'm pissed now. It's a embalming fluid. It's what they fill a dead body. Embalming. Embalming? Embalming. Embalming. Embalming fluid. And that's different than formaldehyde.

I don't know. Question mark. That's a great question. Great question. No way to tell. Slide in the DMs. And so I was like, oh, fuck no, dude. That sounds insane. He's like, actually, it's pretty good, but yeah, okay. And I'm like, that's weird. It's actually really tasty. It's delicious. And then as we're driving, he goes, would you mind getting me some cigarettes? I'm like, fuck. All right. So I pull over to the gas station. Going to go buy this kid cigarettes. I go inside. All of a sudden, it's like, boom.

And I'm fully fucked up on embalming fluid. Ebalming fluid. However you say it. Right. You're balming. Poor eye. You're balming. I'm fucking balming, dude. Balming! Yeah. And it was like the worst, weirdest trip that I've ever had. And I dropped this kid. And then I had to go to work and try to sell steaks. I think you skipped a beat in there. Like you realized that you had just smoked it. Yeah. Right.

Right. And then, and it wasn't until I didn't realize in that moment, I was just like, oh, am I the highest I've ever been? Like I took four hits of weed, but you know, I'm in high school. Like, I'm not sure how things affect me in the same way that now I would probably know right away. But back then I was just like, oh, this weed must be mad good. And then I am at work and I'm like, no, something's not right. I'm fully fucked up. Like,

And what was work? What's work for you at this point? I was selling steaks, Omaha steaks. Okay, good. Not like working with scissors or something? No, no scissor work. But then that kid ended up, obviously he was a little drug kid. He lost him to meth.

And he was like a star basketball player as a freshman. He had a, you know, seemed like a good, at least a good high school life ahead of him. Blew it, man. That's a bummer, man. It's a bummer, dude. Addiction can take them. Addiction can take you. It can take you all the way down to the grave. And guys, the moral of the story is just don't do drugs unless you can fucking handle your shit. Unless you can handle your shit. That's right. And if you can handle your shit, and there's only one way to find out if you can handle your shit.

You got to try it. Game on. Just try it. Yeah, you just got to get out of the hole before you can't. All right? That's what it is. Right. So try every drug, but then just if you can't handle your shit, you got to get out. You can't handle your shit. Get out of the hole before you can't climb it. I think that's why I've never done hard fucking drugs because I'm like, I can't handle that shit. Can't. Yeah. Won't. It's good to know that. That's absolutely why I never did heroin or fucking...

Yeah. Acid because I'm like, I think I would break. I would go deep into the heroin world. Yeah. You got heroin written all over. I love the opioids. Yeah. You're my heroin girl. I loved opioids. I love that feeling. So I'm like, right. That's what, that's all it is, man. But you're throwing a needle in your arm and I'm like, also, I don't really dig needles.

No. Right. You could smoke black tar heroin though, right? Yeah, but... Should we do that? It's not the same. It's not the same. Guys, I would never ever do that unless we do it on the podcast together. Right. I like that. No, I would never. We should get a wheel, like a wheel of fortune that has all the drugs listed and just spin it and do it together. Eh, we're not. We're not.

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I was at the PGA tournament this past weekend, and I saw Phil Mickelson be the oldest player to win a major. That's tight. And I don't know anything about golf, but I was invited. It was super cool. We went. Ended up getting pretty drunk. It was a fun time. Yeah. But this dude comes up to me, and he's like,

I'm like, I guess just because we're so open and honest about drugs and, you know, we had workaholics that people feel comfortable being this way to you. But I meet his mom. Nice. And his mom is like, we're in this like hospitality tent. It's super fancy. It's

Mercedes Benz, you know, and so it's all fancy. And she's just like talking to me. He comes up and she's like, oh, this is my son. And you could tell that these people are very well off. Right. Good hair. Good hair. And this kid who's like probably about our age was like, yo, bro, I know it doesn't snow often in Charleston.

but I can make it snow whenever you want. His mom is right next to me. And then he touches his nose like this. I'm sorry, mom. And says, you know what I mean? And I'm like, yeah, man, I think I know what you mean. I'm good. He goes, no, seriously, bro. His mom's meanwhile standing right next to me, like patting my back, being like, oh, nice to meet you.

Like too much. Want to do it? Yeah. And then he goes, well, I could get you anything, dude. Anything. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, well, I'd actually have a hard time getting you heroin right now, but anything besides that. And I'm like, Jesus. Nicholson took it all. Yeah. I'm like, this guy was speaking in code until he just drops the H-bomb in front of his fucking mother. I'm like, my God. He couldn't think of a cool word for heroin. Yeah.

snack baby do you think that this guy this guy's mom does coke with him yeah maybe I mean they're for sure were very very rich people and it seems like there was no cocaine in my high school

because no one could afford cocaine you know what i mean yeah they're like no one in my high school did cocaine yeah yeah neither here but then i talked to other people that grew up in like newport beach yeah or laguna beach that had like rich families and they were like oh yeah cocaine was all over my high school i'm like yeah it makes sense yeah it's like an elite it's an elite drug it's like you know you have a bunch of money rules some rules don't really apply to you because you can

buy your way out. So that ideology can translate into like, well, cocaine is only illegal because somebody else says it, but you know, it's a party drug in my family. It's a party gift. Nobody at our high school, I mean, I'm sure some people did it, but up the road, there was like the Catholic high school that was like in a richer suburb. And if you kicked it with those dudes, there was cocaine out for sure. And you were like, oh, okay. It's a

It's a different speed up here, bro. Scary. Thank you, God. Everyone's talking fast. Yeah. Everyone's starting businesses. It was really not a thing in our high school. I feel like there was maybe a rumor of a guy who did it and it was like, stay away from him. Yeah, it was like the football team. The football team? The entire football team. The football team rumors are usually like, they all dogged out Sarah whatever in the shower together. Yeah, they all jizzed in a cookie and ate it. Right.

Oh, biscuit. Dude, we've got to play soggy biscuit. You guys had a cocaine football team? Yeah, well, that's what I remember. How fast were they? Were they the fastest? Dude, we beat De La Salle that year. No, you didn't. True.

like in like junior or senior year when I started going to parties with footballers where I was like, and it was kind of out of my league. Like I'm not a sports guy. I'm not a jock or anything like that. You said that to them? All right, guys, I'm not a sports guy. I'm not really a sports guy. I like what you do. I think you're an athlete, Kyle. That's the word. I've heard those baseball rumors. You were an ex-gamer is what you were, brother.

Yeah, yeah, I was extreme sports. That's right. Dude, you're so extreme. That's right. The Tony Hawk soundtrack just plays anytime you walk into the room. Yeah, bro. Great soundtrack. And so what was the conversation with these football dudes when you said you weren't a sports guy? Where'd it go from there? Well, they were like, okay, peace. Peace. Peace.

You don't like football? I guess we don't like you then. Peace. We're going to Tom Hanks' house to do cocaine. To eat adrenal glands. We're going to go eat some glands and do some rails. Oh, my God. Hike, hike, hike. Go long. I love it. Hey, you were like, I'm not a sports dude. And they go, all right, cool. Why don't you go long?

Yeah. Like real long. Like go, like run all the way home. Like forever. Guys update. I, uh, I don't think I'm shooting the Cardinal. I got so much blowback and, uh, it's illegal. We found out. Yeah. We found out it's illegal. It's like fully illegal. They're like a protected bird, by the way, that's fucked up. They shouldn't be there everywhere. And they're nuisances. No, but, uh, stop. But, uh,

No, I'm talking now, Kyle. No, I have something to say to you, though. No, I'm talking. Fuck you, asshole. Well, wait, when I'm done. When you're done, I have something really good to say to you about the Cardinal. Please, please. Okay. Go ahead. Can't finish! And then I was getting all kinds of people that are like, oh, dude, those are angels? And I don't really believe in angels, necessarily, but everyone, like, a ton of people are like, oh, Cardinals are, like, when angels... That is what I was going to say to you, dude. Well, that's why you got to just let me finish so I can complete my thought. Can't finish!

And my dad is going through all his shit right now, so I'm like, well...

On the off chance that this is real, I don't want to just be murdering possible my family who's like coming around. And also my family, they're wild. You know, they drank a lot of gin and vodka. They might be fucking drunk birds and hitting themselves in the mirror. Yes, this is the setup to this is that when a cardinal visits you, there is some lore from... I didn't research which culture or where it comes from, but the lore is that that is...

a deceased family member or friend coming to visit you. Is it real? And guess what? They're coming and they're shitting all over my stuff. I mean, they're a shitty house guest. They need to use the bathroom. They still need to use the bathroom. Unless that comes from a Native American Indian, I'm not buying that shit. I don't give a fuck! I think that's where it's rooted. I would think that normally a lot of the animal spirits and what they mean come from Native American lore. Oh, my God.

Or a meth head. Or it was just something a meth head came up with. Right. Bro, I heard a cardinal is your fucking, like, dead grandma coming to say what's up, dude. Well, also my grandmother's favorite bird was cardinals. Holy fuck, dude. Jesus Christ. And even my dad was like, that could be grandma. And I'm like, ah, fuck. Who said that could be grandma? My dad. He was just joking, but I'm like. Or was he? I don't know. No, man. So I'm not going to murder these cardinals.

This is reality shrouded in jokes is what's going on right now. I'm very bummed. I wanted to murder them. So what's the solution? I was saying maybe you could put lunch bags over your mirrors. Yeah, no, I guess I got to go buy lunch bags now. Well, you can Amazon Prime that shit. No, not an ad. Hey, you know, somebody else also said, return the red truck, get a different color.

I don't have a red truck anymore. I already got a new truck. It's not the truck. It's the mirror. It's the birds. Well, it's actually not even the mirror. It's just somebody's... Adam's grandma is coming to visit him, and he wanted to shoot her. And she's being fucking horrible. Arvella, get your shit together. She's testing you, dude. She's testing you, bro. She always was. No, Arvella was pretty dope, but... No, was she, though? Well, in the afterlife, she's proven that she wasn't. She was on the party bus. She's just testing you, man. Like, come on.

Come on. I think you were also just too young to remember that she was just a pile of shit. And she would always shit on things, and she would peck at mirrors. She was constantly pecking. You just don't remember it because you were young. Well, I'm glad you decided not to murder the Cardinal. I think that's the right decision. I will say, if it is my grandma Arvella...

There was a cardinal that flew. She loved cardinals, and there was a cardinal-like little ceramic bird feeder that she had hung above her sink. And this cardinal flew directly into the mirror, thinking that it was an actual bird feeder. Into the window, sorry. And it smashed the window, fell to the ground. We put it in a box, brought it inside, and we're like, oh my God, this bird's dead. We're going to have to bury it. And I'm a little kid. All of a sudden, this bird comes alive and is flying all over her house. And...

Immediately my grandma went from like, we have to protect this bird. We have to bury it. This is horrible that it died. To kill the bird. Kill that damn bird. Get a pan. Get anything. And then she took a broom and just fucking Barry Bond style slammed that thing. Just baseball bat style and murdered this bird. Okay. So it could be Arvella taking that bird's soul. Yeah, man. Yeah. That sounds more likely. Yeah.

I see where you get it from now. Any take backs, apologies, or? Yeah, hey, I'm sorry I judged you, but that last part sounded real. So I apologize. Hey, no problem. I'd like to apologize to Mr. Tom Hanks. Sorry for all the misinformation I'm spreading. It appears you were born in Concord, and anybody else who would like to visit Concord, go ahead to www.visitconcordca.com. Concord, beautiful city.

Thank you, Adam. Hey, you know what? Somebody told me, and I still don't know how we're pronouncing. The man of Tesla, how are you pronouncing his first name? Elon. Elon. Okay, so two different versions after you guys fucking jumped down my throat last. Well, you said, Blake said what you said, and I said what I say. So it's Elon. Elon Musk. I say Elon. Elon Musk. I like the way Durst said it. I never had heard that way before, but now I say Elon. I like it much better.

Well, I think I said, I was like, well, he's from South Africa. I think it's Hebrew. It's a Hebrew name. So I'm sorry I jumped the gun on that one. Very good. Hebrew, Hebrew. Very good. Very good. Good, good, good, good. I'd like to compliment Adam. I'd like to compliment you,

Uh, because as much as it's a hot button thing with me killing these birds, I would really like to compliment you in not doing it. I think that's fantastic. I don't think you should be murdering animals just because they're a nuisance unless they're rats.

It's not good for the podcast, but it's good for the planet. Absolutely. And thanks for battling through all your technical issues. We're glad to have you. He's gone, by the way. We lost him. I'm here. I'm really soaking this in. I don't get a lot of compliments on the variant of the podcast, so I was really soaking that one in. That really made me feel good. I disagree with you. I do want to murder this bird. Absolutely, but I don't want to...

Well, no, but I said this, I clarified this last year. It's okay. You know, and on the off chance that some of that, uh, hocus pocus soul type stuff is, is real. Hey, you know, what am I, what am I, what am I doing? You know, if you have other animals that you would like to murder, like it's okay to talk about it. That's okay. Hmm.

As long as you don't take action, I'm happy for you to air it out. Yeah, I really only want to murder the animals that are shitting and pissing and pecking my mirrors off. Complain. Yeah, complain. Just don't pull the trigger. All right? What are you going to do with the baby gun or the pellet gun you got? Just fuck around in the backyard and stuff and maybe accidentally shoot something? Yeah, I think I'll shoot some cans for a while and then give it to a child. Good call.

and say, hey, this is a telescope to see you pull this button. Well, when I was a kid, I mean, South Carolina feels like the type of place that little kids have BB guns. And when I was a kid, I had tons of BB guns, dude. So I was a BB gun boy. We could play Airsoft when you get back. We could play Airsoft in California. That'd be dope.

I'm done. Up in Concord? And what, not do the meth up there? Come on. No, that's half the fun. Well, that's half the fun. You've got to do the meth, and then you're real good at Airsoft. For sure. Yeah, baby. Your teeth are just falling out as you're diving behind obstacles. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I would like to take back and apologize to Blake and Kyle about saying that Concord has meth. They for sure do. For sure it was a problem. Without a doubt. You didn't just say that Concord has meth. Wait, you're taking it back? No, I'm apologizing to them because I didn't hear anything. When I was gone, I think you explained that you were part of some sort of... You're part of the Concord.com...

Welcome Center thing? You'll never know. That you somehow went, you did a thing? Yeah. Yes, yes. Is that right? Promoting, yes. Is that right? Okay, so I just thought you found out that there is a Welcome Center.

And you're like, hey, let's shout them out. In which case, yeah, you know, let's shout them out. But also let's talk about the horrific meth problem. I didn't know that you were. There's not that. Are you taking that back or are you just spreading it? It sounds like you're gaslighting. I think you're gaslighting Concord. No, hang on. I wouldn't have done that if I would have known that you were part of it. So I apologize to you for doing that. And I wouldn't have done that if I would have known. And I finally put that together. You would have swept it under the rug. Okay.

So I don't mean to just drag this one out, but like you do know, you do know that now and you just said it again. Cause I do believe that in my heart. Uh, but I would like to apologize for going as, uh, as deep in as I did. Is this an Epic slam? This is, this is wild. It does feel like an Epic slam shrouded, uh, in an apology. Hey guys, are you shrouding? Hey guys, there's no shrouding. Dude, dude,

I like Concord a lot. It reminds me of where I grew up, and I really like it a lot. I'm just saying. Yeah, Concord rocks. As in any other town in America, they have a meth problem, without a doubt. Not Evanston. Evanston for sure does.

Yeah. Yeah, I do believe it is a large city for recovery. Evanston has more of a coke problem, you can tell. No coke? Oh, really? There's nothing up there? Guys, there's addiction problems everywhere on the planet, all right? This speaks to a bigger humanitarian issue. Thank you, Kyle. That's exactly what I was trying to say. This speaks to a bigger human issue that we all think that we need to go to our little friends, the drugs, rather than hanging out with our real friends, the homies and friends. Okay.

Oh, my God. Little friends and real friends. Friendship. Friendship. There we go. Friendship. Friendship. Friendship. All right, guys. And is that for Mortal Kombat?

It is, sir. Yeah. So again, I'd also like to compliment us from minute 26 to 36. I feel like those were the hottest parts of this particular podcast. Are you taking tabs? What do we, how do you? Well, why? Just because that's where my internet was working and we were talking about fruit. That was where we were really, we weren't floundering. The rest of the podcast, I felt like we were floundering and I apologize, but 26 to 36, hot 10 minutes, just, uh,

Maybe we put that on loop for this one? Yeah, who knows? Maybe it's just a 10-minute podcast, this episode. We're not sure. That could be cute. I mean, because we usually talk for about five hours and then we trim it down to an hour. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. We usually won't shut up. We'll sift through it. We should. Be quiet! All right, guys. All right. That was another episode of... This is important. This is important.

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