Ep 48: Sorry Cancer, You’re Off the Project (Adam’s Dad Is The Project)
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Did gremlins use real animals? I don't need to be called a king to make myself feel like I'm worth it. Sasquatch exists in them thar hills. Bro, it's been bubbling since the mammoths were on Earth and you're not stoked? Here we go. Good morning. Welcome back. Good morning. Ah!

Good morning. Wake up! Saturday. I love doing this on a Saturday morning. This is when we were all working. We had to find time to squeeze it in because, I mean, the podcast community would implode if we didn't have a hot, hot, fresh out the oven new app. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Would it? It would? The community? Yeah.

Yeah, they would. Kyle, are you talking the community? Yeah, I just was wondering if that was the truth, if you heard that anywhere. Yeah. A lot of people stop me in the streets. When I'm in the streets, they're like, a new episode better drop on my skull. Or else I'm imploding. Personally, I'm imploding. No, they don't say personally. They say the community. The community. Oh, that's where I had it wrong. I got it. And Adam, I don't know if you're being serious. I can never tell ever if you're being serious or not.

That's true. Is that because I'm your favorite actor? You are an excellent actor, and you have a great... Okay. And you're a human mystery. You are a mysterious friend. Killer liar, dude. You're the best. But upon being out and about in Atlanta, I have actually had quite a few people come up and tell me they're listening to the pod. So shout out to the community for listening. Yes. Yes.

Yes. No, I get it a lot. People are listening. It's pretty, it is pretty cool. It's true. It is cool. I got my first one in Oregon. I was at some lake in the middle of nowhere and the dude at the harbor. Your first one? Yeah. It's like for the podcast. Somebody, my first, hey man, the podcast is great. Yes. As opposed to like, yo, workaholics. Oh, and.

Oh, I've been getting that since for months and months and months. Well, you're lucky. I feel like I go out more than you do. Yeah. You're out. I'm at home writing like a weirdo. Yeah. You're kissing your children and loving your family. I got my first one as well. I was hiking in...

Where was I? Lake Hollywood? And the guy was coming up behind me and I was like, hey, let's move over. He's like, hey, I'm listening to you right now. Right now. Oh, that's next level. He goes...

Oh, dang. I can scent that fart anywhere. That wet salad? That fart, the sound of that fart, I can hear it. Yeah, that dude smells exactly like he sounds. Yeah. You're like, wait a second, that's some hot water trash. I found him in the wild. But he was listening to it at the moment? Yeah, and I quizzed him. I was like, oh, yeah, what are we talking about? You didn't believe him? He said, come. And you're like, you got it. And he was like, yeah, yeah.

He was like, I think Ders and Adam are talking about Peru. And I was like, I don't think we ever. Are you lying? What's up? Yeah, I think we did that. I think we did. I think that was like, yeah, way, way back. One of the first. Oh, is that where you guys did bad ideas? Is that what that is? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he was telling the truth. We're talking our Peruvian days. Beautiful.

Good. Yeah, he was new. Well, you know what? That was the first episode. So he saw you. Dude, this is what I thought. Probably stretching in at the base of the mountain. Right. As I know you do. You like to get nice and limber before your early, early, early morning. Yeah, you got to get all the farts out. Yeah, you got to squeeze all the farts out before you attack the mountain. And then he was like, I know what I'm queuing up. Woof, woof, woof.

Blake, can you hit me with my dad saying this shit's important? Sure, yeah. Let me pull that up right here. That shit's important. There you go. Because I got some pretty big news. I think you guys have all hit me up. Here we go. Oh, yes. For the community. This is for the community. Yes. We have big news over in the Divine Household.

So my dad, obviously he's been cancer dad for the last few months and very excited that he no longer necessarily needs to rock that moniker because he got some fucking awesome news that he has no detectable cancer in his body. Woo! Woo!

yeah oh my god i feel like i feel like this is the that's amazing congratulations huge news so fucking cool yeah it's very cool that shit's important the community must be freaking right now the community's freaking everybody that's the quickest that was so fast he he whooped its ass in the first round do you think he was faking it

Is this even real? Oh, here we go. Yeah, I personally never went with him to the hospital and I did FaceTime him when he was in the hospital and it could be a set. Deep fake. It could be a set, but I don't feel like my dad has the technical wherewithal because I am his son and I know I couldn't do that. So I don't think he

he is faking i do think it's real so okay well you are my most mysterious friend yeah he might be the most mysterious dad so there's really the best liar fantastic liar uh the craziest shit happened he like had crazy pain last week and had to go to the emergency room oh no and he thought he was having a heart attack yeah and he goes and he was like fuck i'm having a heart attack uh

this is how I'm going to die. Cancer. What is it like an SNL sketch from the 80s? Oh, fuck. I'm having a heart attack. Oh, dude. Yeah. And he goes and he is there and they do all the scams on him and they can't figure it out. He's got a blood clot in his lungs, which can kill you. Hmm.

Here we go. That's not good. That's not good. And then they put him on blood thinners. And but they while they did those scans, he was supposed to go to Houston to do all the proper tests this past week. And this was last weekend. And he's in Lake of the Ozarks. And they at Lake of the Ozarks are.

are telling him, oh, there's your cancer. We can still see it. They didn't get it all. Dr. Ozarks is back at it. Dude, Dr. Ozarks, man. No offense to them, but they suck, and they should all quit their jobs because they fucking suck at their jobs, dude. Yeah, that's the cancer again, man. That's got to be the cancer. Dude, that's it. I listen to the podcast. That's the cancer. Yeah, dude. Bro, I'm part of the community, dude. Dude, that shit's important.

And they're like, there's the cancer. And so my dad was like, you know, not only is he bummed that he like now he has blood clots and he has to be on blood thinners for maybe his whole life. Yeah. And those are really dangerous. Those could just like up and kill you like that. Blood thinners can or blood clots? Blood clots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he's, you know, he's scared about that. And then also he's like, fuck, and I still have cancer. Like the goal was to get rid of it this first pass because they can't continue to

give you radiation on the exact same spot. Right. Because your body just can't handle it. It starts to take a toll. Yeah. Hit the Popo Zao button. Yeah. Getting over there. Sorry, guys. Thank you. It takes me a while to locate a lot of these. Popo Zao! Thank you, Blake. Obviously, when we're talking about radiating a certain spot and you can't do it, that's a Popo Zao moment. Thank you. Popo Zao!

When we're talking about cancer and radiation, we have to be quick trigger fingers on the drop buttons. Yeah. And you also need to know exactly what these two are thinking about, which button you're supposed to hit. They're the ones that are dictating the buttons. I'm telling you. Hey, I asked for it. I straight up asked for it. This shit's important. Hey, well, that's a good one. That shit's important. Yeah, no, that was... And you were leading into a story, though.

Popozal. Adam is commanding. I'm dumb ending. Dumb ending. Demanding and commanding either way. Dumb ending. I'm happy to be here with the board and everything you need from me. Just let me know. Cool. And so when he gets to, uh, Houston, uh,

where the MD Anderson, which is a fantastic hospital, and he gets to his doctor. He's, you know, obviously he thinks this doctor's going to tell him the exact same shit he just learned a few days earlier. Right. That his cancer's still there. It has shrunk pretty dramatically. From the Ozark doctor. From the Ozark doctor. My dad's like, yeah, it sucks that cancer's still there. What's plan B? How are we going to continue the fight? Mm-hmm.

And I'm FaceTiming him. More weed? More smoke? Is it more weed? Do I have to move on to gravity bongs? Yeah, do I need the volcano bag? Should I dust my volcano bag off? Yeah. Should I start doing hot knives? Would that help a little more?

I'll try anything. I'm looking like such an asshole because I'm FaceTiming with them. Right. But I'm dressed in full Kelvin character from the Righteous Gemstones. Oh, cool. They're like, this your son? Jesus. So I'm wearing like a pink blazer with my hair all spiky with like tons of rings and necklaces on and shit. And...

and i'm like trying to be all serious and be like yeah thank you doctor thanks for seeing us you know on this facetime like a looking like i'm total maniac what is the most serious conversation ever to be had with somebody with a faux hawk that is that's up there that's it right there i look insane we're also uh doing this uh baptism scene for one of the characters so the set is absolutely insane and i'm in the middle of the set it's the i'm i'm getting i'm waiting to be called

to places. So I only have a few minutes and the doctor looks at my dad and he goes,

I don't know what your doctor is talking about in the Brozarks. No, actually, the doctor's like, yo, shit, son. So looks like you don't got no cancer, bro. No, he was like, he says that that was the spot that the doctor was confused about in the Ozarks and thought it was cancer is actually scar tissue from it being radiated away.

And there's, he cannot see any cancer cells. That's not saying that there's no cancer there. Right. And there could be, you know, some ancillary cells floating around that haven't formed a tumor yet.

But he's going to, you know, they're going to keep doing shit over the next six months to a year to try to make sure that they don't form a tumor. Ancillary, right. Ancillary. Hit him with the ancillary one time. There's ancillary tumor cells. Ancillary. Named after good old Ancillary. Is it real? Ancel Adams' brother, Ancel Larry. Ancel...

Larry Adam. Ansel Larry. Remember Ansel Larry? What a guy. Yeah. So best case, it was honestly the best news we could have gotten. I've never really happy cried in my life. Okay. Have you guys ever happy cried before? Oh.

I don't think I ever have. Yes, I have. I have. Tears of joy? Tears of joy. You guys have children, so maybe that. Yeah. That's what it was for me. My wife and I were trying to get pregnant for a long time, and then finally, after like two and a half years, it was like, hey, I'm pregnant. And I just like buckled and started crying. It was pretty embarrassing. Synth, synth.

You're like, I can't keep fucking like this. Thank you. Or I was going to say it was the opposite. It was like, now she's like, and now we can stop having sex. We did it. Thank you, God. And then I started crying. Yeah, and you're like, no. No, that was the moment for me, though. I was like, oh my God.

I got a little misty-eyed when he, but I was at work, so I wasn't trying to be a fucking sobbing mess. A blubbering. So you didn't want to be made fun of. Yeah. Your co-stars are going to bust you. Yeah, I tried to be cool in front of all my co-stars. It's important for men not to cry. Even now. Dude. And let's, yes, let's talk about that here. Men, stay strong. All the men listening, stop crying. Stop crying, you bitch. Be strong, dude.

It's embarrassing. Yeah, let's go back. Back to when we weren't supposed to cry. Let's go back. Dude, enough of your feelings, emotions. It's honestly better. Yeah, hold it in. Chloe was with me, and then she went to go run an errand, and all of a sudden, I'm just alone for the first time since hearing the news, and I just fucking cried for like 20 minutes. Like happy, like snot crying. Like roaring, going, whoo!

Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I still love you. Like snot coming out of my face. Just like pacing around my house going, yes, yes, yes. Like a damn Clippers game. Dude, honestly. Right. Let's go.

You said let's go to the doctor. It's just me saying let's go. You had a faux hawk. You're screaming let's go. You're crying tears of joy. Do you think honestly there's a 100% possibility that a doctor has given a family news like this, a positive news like this, and the young go-hard bro in the family screams. A little hockey kid. Yeah, screams let's go. You know 100%.

And you know that mom is kind of bro-y too, so she's like, let's go! The sister is like, let's rock!

Come on. Let's go, Grayson. Let's go. Let's go. Who's this freaking bro mom, dude? Yeah. Bro moms. Real bro moms of Atlanta, dude. Is that a thing? Are bro moms a thing? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Hell yeah. Down in Manhattan Beach? Who do you think is raising these children to be the all-star bros that they are? Yeah. It ain't the dads. If you have a son named Bryson, you might have a bro mom. You might be a bro mom. Yeah.

I love some kid like getting his braces off and the dentist is like, son, we're going to be able to take those braces off today. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Go. I'm going to be kissing in no time. I'm finally going to kiss Sheree.

Who? I don't know, man. Cherie? Yeah. Who's Cherie? Is this like in Paris, France? Cherie, the French exchange student? Is that a young girl name? What is that? Yeah, Cherie. Yeah, that's a hot one right now. Yeah, I feel it. Cherie. Hey, shout out to Cherie Slater, Haven. Cherie. All the Cheries out there, may you find your Bryson and make magical bro babies. Little bro children. Yeah, say hi to your bro mom. Cherie. Let's go!

What's cool about Workaholics is it's really going to be a time capsule for these children. These like bro children that did not know about it. And then they're going to be like, they're going to be like, because for a certain generation of people,

It's going to be like their cheers, you know, like their comfort show. Yeah, I would say so. That the parents watched and then now they're raising these kids and they're like, yeah, I got to put my comfort show on my workaholics. And then they cue that on. And then the kids start watching it and that becomes like, oh, this is what TV used to be like. Right.

And then the cycle continues. You know what breaks my heart? What's up? We're never going to be on Nick at Night. God damn. Are you sure? We are Viacom. Yeah, Viacom could make it happen. We're a little too racy. I don't know. What was the show that just got on Nick at Night and I was like, oh, damn. Oh.

I'm getting old now. I feel like they just started running like... Dude, all of them. Like Saved by the Bell and Modern Family. Oh, is Modern Family on it? It's new, new. I don't know, but I'm just saying the time gap used to be like 20 years and then slowly after they just ran through shit, they were like, alright, it's been six years. Let's throw it on.

Yeah, I think like Friends is on Nick at Night now. There's newer stuff than that. Friends is everywhere all of a sudden. It's fucking crazy. High-waisted jeans. Yeah, they need to chill with that. Because back in the day, Nick at Night was like, I love Lucy nonstop.

What else? I mean, it was, yeah, it was like a Dobie Gillis. It was, here we go. Durs pulling these raps. Dobie Gillis. Hold on a second. What's Dobie Gillis? Durs knows all the shit. Never even heard of Dobie Gillis. I love it. Dobie Gillis is like an old show from like the late fifties, early sixties. Maybe. Dobie Gillis? You just made that up. I have literally never had heard that ever in my life. What the fuck is Dobie Gillis? You never heard Dobie Gillis? Dude, I like that we went from, I love Lucy to,

the most famous show of all time, like that started the modern day sitcom to Dobie Gillis, a show three out of the four of us have never even heard of. I mean, but I'm again, three years older than you guys. I know a little bit more than you, but still. And a life. Yeah. Yeah.

And then what's the one with Mr. Ed? Mr. Ed was on. You guys know Mr. Ed. Yes, Mr. Ed. Oh, yeah. That show kind of sucked, right? Mr. Ed did suck. Yeah, you're right. Mr. Ed sucks, right? Like, what the fuck was that dumbass show? No, no, no, no, no, no.

That doesn't suck. I watched it every time, though, waiting for it to be amazing. I never watched it. It was cool. They were just making a horse talk. That's hella funny. With strings tied to his lips and we just pull them or something, right? Yeah. It was animal abuse like a motherfucker. Yes, it was. It's a time capsule. You cannot do that anymore if they would fucking make the dude talk. I know. And Kyle, as a film director, are you angry that you can't just tie some strings to a horse's mouth and make him talk?

Admittedly, it would lower the budget. You wouldn't have to do all this CGI. Yeah. And make a thousand seasons. Let me dance around this. The horse actually gets to be a star. Yeah. You know? I think, like, I'm not necessarily angry about it, but I do wish I was born back then so I could do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yo, to that point, I was just out in the wilderness of Oregon, and we threw on The Great Outdoors. Woo!

Oh, okay. Classic movie. Wait, when you were in the wilderness? Yeah, I was in Central Oregon and we were in a cabin and we watched The Great Outdoors. And they were like, is that bear CGI? And I was like, no, that's a real bear. And they were like, how would they make a real bear do that? What is the production cost? This is what we used to have to do. Like some crazy guy would train real bears named Bart that was in like every bear movie. And...

like wrestle this bear and like put on John Candy's costume and like fight a real bear. And they're like, what? See, and that's what sucks about like the animal cruelty people is now there's no... Thank you. Go off, King. Let's go off, bro. Thank you. Now there's no...

There's no Bart. There's no star of a bear. There's no bear that's getting his shine, you know? Because now we have to CGI it because we're worried that we can't shave his head. He'll be embarrassed if he goes... Right, or put a fake hairless butt cheek thing on him.

On the bear? You've never seen it? Yeah, we can't shame this bear, even though maybe this bear is hilarious. Maybe he thinks that's a funny bit. Right. You don't know. You don't know what's in this bear's head. They don't know. Well, that is interesting because who's speaking up? Yeah, exactly. Somebody needs to speak up for the animals who want to perform.

Yes. Who want to be comedians. They're all speaking up for the animals and saying they don't want to perform, yet they bring them to set. Okay. I think they want to perform. Maybe they love it. Maybe they want to have sex with me. Wait, what? Huh? What's that? What were other Nick and Night shows? My Three Sons, Father Who's Best. Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley.

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what is your favorite animal starring film because i got mine right off top fucking dustin checks in dude that one was so money do you remember that show oh sorry you're saying a movie starring an animal or like yes who's your favorite animal star of all time uh because bart the bear is up there he's in a ton of movies which one was bart the bear

Dude, the one from Great Outdoors. The one from Great Outdoors is also in The Edge and every bear movie you've seen, it's the same bear. Do you remember the movie that was actually called just Bear? It was just a movie about a bear called Bear?

No, I don't I think I remember the cover being like a shitty cover. Yeah, it was super cracking though That movie is legit. All right now did gremlins use real animals because I might say gremlins cuz that's yeah That's where I was. I was like Harry and the Hendersons Was real but the rest were all animatronic. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah gizmo Yeah, and Harry and the Hendersons same thing. Was that a real Sasquatch? Was that a real Sasquatch?

In the end shot where they all come out from the trees where they were hiding, those were real, but the one in the kitchen was a costume. That's cool. That's cool that we're just considering, yeah, like Mac and Me, that was a great animal movie. Right. Right, Mac and Me. By the way, Harry Anderson's does not hold up at all. I watched it the other day, and it's like 40-minute long set pieces of just like, he's in the kitchen still just rattling pop.

No! I've been thinking about that a lot because I'm out here in the Sierras making this indie film and there's like all these Sasquatch cutouts. Yeah, like keep an eye out. Yeah, like Sasquatch exists in them thar hills. Yeah.

And I'm like, holy fuck, if I saw a Sasquatch, that would be so scary, dude. So scary. What would you do, dude? What would happen? Bro, you should just take your clothes off and go for a walk and have somebody take pictures of you. You are the Sasquatch. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm smiling through the pain. Well, I remember thinking back in the day, like doing like an

R-rated version of Harry and the Hendersons would be so funny. Like you just can't. X-rated? Blake! It's a hardcore. Let's go. And Blake always takes. This ain't Harry and the Hendersons. Do I make you horny, baby? This ain't Harry and the Hendersons, a porno parody. Bro, you.

You know it would go off. You know it would go off. Don't act like you guys didn't watch the Pokemon parody. Hey, somebody's going to get off. Just a giant Bigfoot dick. I'd watch it. I'd watch it for sure. Harry and his Hendersons. That'd make my pecker hard. Yeah, get off, King. Get off, King.

king i love i love like everyone's calling each other kings and queens now it's it's tight i i like this i love i like this little thing that's happening go off king i don't need it i don't need anyone to call me a king yeah i don't want that yeah it's fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm a jester what do you want emperor emperor i don't need i don't need any of it i know i'm not a king it's peasant say go off peasant yes i don't need to be told i'm a king

How many people are calling you king, Ders? And you know what I get? No, I'm not saying they are. The community is out calling you king. I'm just saying I don't need it. And maybe that's a privilege. I guess the podcast community calls me king. I don't know. Are they not saying that about you? You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. You're not that guy.

I still got to watch that clip. I don't know what it is. Oh, you totally do. I love it. Nobody is calling me king ever. That's just not happening on this stream. No, I'm not saying to me. I'm saying on the internet, you see people that's like...

Like someone will post something and then they'll be like, bless up, King. Oh, yeah, King. Or like... Wait, Blake, you've said it like four times on this podcast today and you don't know what we're talking about? I know what you're talking about. I'm just saying I don't know about it enough to have an opinion to say like, I don't need people calling me King. True. No. What? What?

The reason it got in my head is because you're the one who keeps saying it. Yeah. Yeah, but then Durr's took a hard stance, like, against it, which is strange. Yeah, Durr's, like, put his foot down, like, don't call me king. I'm like, nobody calling your ass king. This is what I do here, guys. Go off, king. I didn't say don't call me. I didn't say don't call me. He said he doesn't need it. You can call me. I said I don't need it.

He says he doesn't need it. Adam was saying he loves people being called king and queen. And I'm like, you know what? I don't need that. I don't need somebody calling me king and queen. Because it clearly is some sort of support system thing where it's like, I'm going to put you on. And I'm saying, I don't need to be called a king to make myself feel like I'm worth it. There we are. Hey, I like that. Okie dokie.

I'll tell you what I want. I want somebody to call me King of Queens. Okay? King of Queens. Okay. Kevin James. Yeah, if you want to cast me as the new King of Queens. Yeah. Nick at night. Get at this, dude. For real. Yeah, we don't... Here on Pod Important, this is important. We don't stand for...

supporting each other or positivity or like a support system fuck it all you got to support yourself okay well no we are so this toxic teardown culture we are this is toxic masculinity right here i didn't say i don't want people calling each other king and queen i said i don't want i don't need to be called it fuck it i don't need to be walking around crying tears of joy around my house like maybe i am a king maybe i do matter

Wait. Yeah, it is weird how supportive people... I mean, it's just a rebuke of online culture. Rebut? Rebuttal? Rebuke. Rebut. Is that the same thing? Rebuke? A rebuke? I don't know. There you go. Rebuttal? Root beer. Root beer. Yeah, root beer. It's just a root beer. It's a root beer of just like of internet culture where people were so mean. Now people are being so nice that it does feel like...

It's too much. It's like, can't we just be human beings? We don't always need. I'm with Durs now. I'm with Durs. I'm pissed now. I was like, yeah, sure. King, King Quinn. Well, yeah, like we do support each other. We do support each other, but it's a very complex. It's a very complex support.

that has to do with exactly what you're saying. Like, you know what I mean? You know what I keep seeing? It's been a, it's Olympic week and people are in the pool. They're breaking records. They're winning. They're losing. People's dreams are coming true. Their hearts are breaking. There's been a lot of, I'm going to grab the person. I just beats hand next to me and I'm going to hold it up. Like they're a champion too. Oh no. Don't like that. I'm cool with it. Someone did it like really early on and now it's just kept happening. And I'm like,

What? Why does everyone keep holding everyone's hand up? No, I would be so salty if the winner that just smoked my ass in the next lane over to me grabs my arm and then puts all the shine on me like I just got seventh place and he just fucking beat a world record. Goodbye. And he's holding my arm up and I'm like...

Yeah, that feels fucking sarcastic. If you lose, you can hold up the winner's arm and be like, this dude fucking just killed it or she just killed it. You know, it's special circumstances. Those motherfuckers aren't getting any human contact at all. They are locked in hotel rooms. As soon as they have the green light, they are touching each other's hands and wanting to feel human connection. Sure. Hey,

Hey, did you just win silver? No, I agree. That feels condescending. Hey, I just beat you. Let me hold your hand up. Yeah, that feels condescending as shit. Maybe that's what it is. It's like, this guy's actually the winner. And it's like, no, no, I'm on the higher block. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. It should be the loser's place to grab the winner and say, you really did. Yeah. Even if the loser...

I kind of think if the loser does that and I just won, I'm just like, look at this motherfucker trying to get some shine. True. Right. Because the picture is taken. You don't know who's holding up whose arm. Great point. It's like you jumping into someone's photo. Just be like, and also me too. And you're like, dude, we're not even, we're

We're not even friends with you. We have no idea who you are. Why are you jumping into our photo? Oops. Winning. You're from the Ukraine. I've never met you before. I've never met you. Suddenly you're my biggest fan. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. You're not a king in my book, kid.

hey you're not that guy you're not that guy pal trust me it's good i will say that since you brought up crying the the the most recent time i cried a lot of people cry about it was during the opening ceremonies which i was like i don't know i got hell of emotional watching and i think it's just like all right the olympics are waterwork makers derz you cried

For sure. What? What? I've told you guys that this is the only thing that makes me well up is real time with Ryan Gumbel sports stuff. And this is what the Olympics is. Oh, yeah. Sports stuff. That's right. Yes. But I will say...

I think there is something to be said for men. Never cry. Please never cry. Don't start crying. But... Do not cry. Not in this house. Yeah. What if we give the world, the men of the world, one day, which is every four years, the opening ceremony is to cry. Is this the

The Purge? Yeah, this is like the binge, but it's just like the, what is it? I don't know. No, the Purge. Well, that's what I was thinking. Not the binge. Well, no, but the binge is the Purge, right? The binge is. I'm talking about the movie The Purge. I'm talking about the movie The Binge that was based on The Purge.

There was a movie called The Binge? What's the movie The Binge? Yeah, The Binge is the purge, but with drugs and alcohol. Yeah. Oh, is it like a National Lampoon movie? Kind of. Sort of. I don't know who made it. I do. How come we weren't in it? I do. I know who made it. Okay. It was American High, right? Whatever that company is. American High. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they make like... Eduardo's in it. Yeah, they make high school specific type movies. Okay.

And yeah. - Eduardo from "The Package" on Netflix, check it out. Funny film, funny film. - I just rewatched the trailer of that. I was like going through my photo roll and just saw the trailer in it and played it. I'm like, God damn, that was such a funny movie that I feel didn't get enough love. I felt like it just got the algorithm kind of just buried it for me on Netflix.

go check out the package it's a movie that we produced our good friend jake samansky directed it really really funny cast and uh wild premise wild premise just a fucking wild premise wild premise i mean we gotta say the premise or else people gonna be like the package uh whatever maybe maybe just tune in okay okay go ahead anders

Go ahead, scribe. Okay, no. Go off, scribe. Let's see who tunes in. And then next week, the one-liner. Oh, stay tuned for the one-liner next week. We'll see what the community has to say after they watch the movie. Well, the package essentially is a group of friends go out camping. Okay, Adam's going to do it. We're going to wait a week? You might as well. Yeah, who cares? No.

movie's about. That's what I said and everyone's like, go off, Scribe. No, we were like, go ahead. We were like, go ahead and do it. I did say go off, Scribe. No! It felt like you forgot what the movie was about so I'm like, oh shit, well I'm going to bail out my homie. Let's just say I don't know exactly what it's about. Honestly,

I did forget what the movie's about. Yeah. What is it about Adam? Oh Jesus. And we produced this movie. It's pretty simple. It's really easy. Friends go camping. A group of friends, teenagers decide to go camping. They all go camping. I don't remember any of this. One friend has a knife and he's playing with it and he goes to take a piss and he accidentally chops his cock off and they can't, they find it. They put it on some ice. Uh,

Another friend goes to get a signal on their phones and loses all their phones. So now they're kind of fucked. He was able to call for a helicopter, and the helicopter comes. They put the dick in a cooler. When they give him the cooler, the coolers were switched, and they gave him the wrong cooler full of all their beer and alcohol. But they've already airlifted the kid away. And the kid was taken away with them.

with his not cock and they have his cock and they have to try to get it back to him through the woods in the middle of the night in order to save his cock. And this is exactly how Adam pitched the movie in the room and it sold and perfect with us yelling at him. Yeah. And that's what Netflix screamed. I feel like another good name for the movie would have been the wrong Cooper. Okay. That would have been cool. That's pretty good. Like if we're just going back and like, you know, Oh my God.

There is a story behind the name of the movie. Yes, there is. Very funny. The name of the movie was literally just the eggplant emoji, but we couldn't clear that. The eggplant what? Emoji? Emoji. Okay, I know what you're saying. How do you say it? You said emo. Is that your new rap name? Emoji? Emoji. I am the emoji, dog. So we were talking like country and rap crossover. I'm going emo rap.

I'm going the Lil Peep route, so don't worry about me. I'll be over here with some face tats soon. I believe that. Lil Peep. I listened to him right after he passed. I'd never really listened to him, but that one album he had before he died was fucking sick. He's actually really sick. The lane he was in was very dope, and he was doing it correctly. It does suck. It sucks, guys. R.I.P. Lil Peep. Be careful with substances. And how did Lil Peep die?

I think he took a bad batch of pills or it was some drug-related thing. See, that's the trouble with drugs. They'll get you sometimes, you know? They will. You have to be responsible. You have to... It's just...

it's a dice roll every time you do them but you just said you got to be responsible that's not really part of the whole program responsibly irresponsible it's like right it's it's like the same as like you don't want to take a fucking crazy trippy drug if you're in a bad headspace you're gonna have a bad trip like some people i feel like are out here like mad and they're trying to take drugs to like escape that feeling but it's just going to ignite that harder in you and in a very negative

Sure. And also people are doing crazy drugs. Let's just stick to the prescription to weed and alcohol and mushrooms and acid and ecstasy. Good old fashioned cocaine and lean and lean and lean and lean.

Some pills. Whatever you find on the floor of a bathroom in a club. Lick a toad. I would love to give that a ride. I'd love to lick a toad. Any kind of tea leaves or something. Quick story. In college, a buddy of mine was visiting from his school with his wild ass friends that were crazy. Yes. And we all went out. We had a good time. They were being insane. And we got home and he put his boot up.

And we could see like in the groove of his Timberland, he had this like, um, like B yellow jacket stripe pill that was like stuck in his boot score. We were like, yo, what is that? And he pulled it out. He goes, holy shit. This is probably like some fucking drug I stepped on somewhere. And we're like, oh fuck. It was like, it was like clearly like, uh, maybe no, but it was like,

striped like a bumblebee. It was clearly like some shit. And he goes, awesome. And he just popped it and like, no, the beer. And we were like, no, this dude's crazy. Out of the timbo, out of the grooves of the timbo straight into the system. Yeah, that's irresponsible. I'm still going to send it. The same dude got into a bar fight later, back at a different time.

and this is a bar we all went to as kids. And this is a really close home of yours? No, no. This is my friend's homie. Oh, okay. And he went to college with him, and he rolled out with us to a bar back home, different time. Huge fight. The people working at the bar that we know, he bit the dude's face. What? It's just one of those days. And we were like...

What is happening? He bit the face. Yeah. And like people were like banned for life. It was not a good thing. And we're like, yo. You're like not allowed to bite in fights, but biting a face, if you're going to bite, I guess that's the way to do it. Like biting someone's arm is kind of. Can't vouch for this guy. He was a maniac. He was on bath salts. Before bath salts. This is a whole different time. This is just like two stories of one guy. He's on boot pills. Yeah.

Yeah. He's on those wasps, those hornets. This is a maniac. Yeah. That's some real maniac shit. Watch out for those friends of friends. Yeah. Well, just the people who take a pill straight out of their boot and into their mouth. No, no, no. But sometimes somebody brings somebody to a party and it's...

No new friends. Yeah. I feel like the ancillary friends are where you get in trouble. Ancillary. Ancillary. Yeah. Yeah. It's always, it's never like you're, I mean, sometimes you might have like one homie that you've just been friends with since like the third grade. And then he became, his parents got divorced. His dad was a maniac. Right. He's acting out. Isn't it crazy how everyone whose parents got divorced went crazy? Excuse me. Hello. I'm the poster child right here. Yeah.

Blake's hair used to be straight and then it just went. Thank you, daddy. Why don't you cry about it? Yeah, I guess I've been lucky to not have too many friends in my life that like went totally off the deep end and went bizarro crazy. Thankfully. Yeah. Other than Kyle. Yeah, Kyle's our friend.

He might be the guy. I mean, Kyle, by the way, he fell off the pod. I don't know what's going on. No, this is what I see what Kyle's doing. What he's doing is he gave us 30 minutes and we're all on Zoom and Kyle just disappeared about five minutes ago. And he wasn't chunking. All of a sudden, he's just gone. And he's going to be like, oh, shit, my internet went out. That sucks. You think he's big-timing us? I think he's big-timing us a little bit.

Yeah. He gave us a hot 30. He dropped some dimes, some gems, and then dipped. Some uncut gems. Leave them wanting more.

Right.

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I had to explain big-timing to my seven-year-old the other day. Like big-timing like Baby and Manny Fresh? No, like when you get big-timed by somebody. Okay, okay. Did I ever tell the story on here? What's the name of the dude? Fuck, this is already ruining the story. The actor from... He was like the Freddie Mercury guy, the queen actor. Yeah, Mr. Robot...

Rami Malek? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Rami. Did I ever tell my Rami story on here? No, you have not. I don't think so. Go off, King. So this is me thinking I was getting big-timed so hard in a way that I just couldn't imagine. And let me tell you, Ders is not the one to big-time because he'll come at you. He'll call you out. I'll say, you're big-timing me? He's back. Oh, welcome back. Hey, Kyle. Hey, all right. Sorry about that. Hey, we thought you were big-timing. Sorry. Yeah.

Kyle, we thought you were big-timing us, and Ders has a story about... Just to catch you up, Ders has a story about big-timing starring maybe Rami Malek. It's science. Oh, okay, great. Go off. So, at Comic-Con several years ago...

Rami Malek came over to our table at a restaurant with Christian Slater to be like, yo, like I watch your guys show workaholics, like love it. And he's like a younger dude. So we were like, for sure. You're writing our demo, man. Like, what are you doing here? He was talking about the robot show, um,

Mr. Robot. Mr. Robot. And we were like, oh, sick. Sounds dope. Big time, too. Good luck with that. It hadn't come out yet. Right. And we were like, yo, Christian Slater. Fucking sick. Yeah. Cuffs. He's your age, Jerz. He's 40. He's not like a super young guy. Is he really? Uh-huh.

Well, he looks great. And I think we can all admit that. Yeah, he's actor skinny. He's got that actor lean, you know? Dainty. A dainty man. So then cut to like two years later, Mr. Robot came out. Huge hit, right? Like everyone's watching it. He's like in big movies. He's on the rise. And I met some like...

agency party or one of those, I don't know, something at some big restaurant and I see him and I go... This is Comic-Con, so it's all blurry. No, this is years later at like a different thing. My bad, I wasn't following. Spago. It was at Spago. Yeah, I think it was at Spago. It was 1987. 1987.

Yes, points! So I see him and I go, hey, what's up, man? And he's like, hey. And I go, all right, let me just refresh this to his memory. We met at Comic-Con, Anders. He's like, we never met. And I go, okay. And he goes...

And I go, no, like I'm from Workaholics. Like we talked at Comic-Con a couple of years ago. Like I'm super stoked for your show. Like you're doing great. He goes, I don't know you. I've never met you. Whoa. I don't want to know you. That's cold. And I go, what? And he goes, I think maybe you met my twin. And I go-

Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, I met your twin. That's what happened. I met your twin. I met your fucking twin somewhere. Wait, what? And he goes, yeah. And then he points across the room and I see Rami Malek across the room. Then I look at this dude and I go,

this is rami malek's twin yeah and i go yo i did not know and he goes that's okay you don't have to talk to me and i go no yeah what's your name like blah blah blah like does this happen constantly and he's like yeah yeah for sure he has a resentment ders i have that 100 exact same story with rami malek i have that same story

And we might have been at that same party. I think it was a WME party at Catch in LA, which is like a fancy restaurant. Yes. It's the Spago of now. And I think we had just missed each other by like 15 minutes. I remember us being at the same party, but we missed each other by a few minutes. Ships in the night. Ships in the night. And I had gone on a trip to like a Vegas trip.

with Rami Malek and it was like a hilarious crew. It was like the guy that played Hercules. It was Emile Hirsch. It was me. It was Rami Malek. It was... Who played Hercules? Yeah, Sorbo? Did Horp? Yeah, it was Kevin Sorbo. Kevin Sorbo. It was me, Kevin Sorbo. Yeah, well, that's hilarious. A real who's who. That's the funniest. Disappointing!

Right. Disappointed. It was kind of a bizarre crew. And so we go to Vegas, and I have a great time with these guys. A bunch of hot guys. Yeah, a bunch of hot. That's why I was there. Hot boys. You're rolling with some hot, hot, hot.

So I had like a weekend with these guys. So I like know them now, you know? And I see Rami at this party and I go up to him and I like cup his titties from behind. Like I come up behind him and like grab his titties. 69, dudes! And I'm like, oh, there's this hot piece of ass or something.

I had something way inappropriate. And he's like, excuse me? And I'm like, what's up, man? He just starts swinging. What, man? And he goes, I think you're looking for my brother. I have a twin. He let the cat out of the bag right away because I bet you were there. You did it already. And I follow up and he's like, I'm done with this shit. Yeah, I think so. You gave him the lowdown. I'm from Workaholics. The exact same thing that Jurors told him. Right. He's like, what? These are the dumbest guys ever. I know.

I hate you. I hate your show. Never seen it. Not a fan. I'm an always sunny guy. Broad City's better. Fuck off. Fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. But he's just always rolling with his twin to events. That's tough. That's hard to like... I bet his brother... If I had to guess, his brother's somehow involved in the business as well. So it's like, yeah, when he goes to big Hollywood parties, his brother's like, yeah, I want to roll to that. I would also say...

as that twin, you want to be able to point over to your brother and be like, I'm not lying right now because otherwise you have a situation where it's like, are you a twin? Right. That has to be so annoying because Rami is such a specific, super nice guy, by the way. Rami's like a really great guy. His brother sounds like an asshole, but...

No, he was cool. I talked to him for long enough to make it not the worst. Do you love him? I'm sure it would be so hard to be the twin brother of a...

of a more famous brother. Right. Like your brother is super famous because Rami is so specific looking. Very unique looking. Yeah. That you're like, there's no way in hell that this man, there's two of this man walking around. Right. That is actually funny. He's so unique looking and yet there's someone who looks exactly like him. Exactly like him. You're uniquely the same as another person. By the way, I say he's unique looking.

I don't know if he is. To me, he is. Okay, here we go. Okay, go off. Maybe there's somewhere... Maybe there's an island of Rami. What I'm saying is that if you met... If you were in fucking England 2,000 years ago and you met your first Asian person, you'd be like...

there's no one in the world that looks like this guy okay he looks totally different then you go to asia and you're like oh there's a ton of them but there's that's in a scenario where there's no internet no like no but like i'm telling you he's a unique looking person he's egypt he's egyptian he's egyptian right i haven't gone to egypt there's not that many egyptian people in our media around you oh you're surrounded by egyptians now

That's how I roll, dog. I didn't know that. Okay. Wow. Is he Egyptian or are you just making this shit up? I think he's Egyptian. Yeah. Are you flying around? You think. Okay. Well. Oh, he is the son of Egyptian immigrant parents. Okay. So maybe in Egypt. Okay, great. So maybe in Egypt, there's a ton of people, but I'm just basically, I'm covering our ass as we're like, he's so unique looking and people are like, he's not that unique looking. Anyway. Well.

Well, I'll say we should go on a group trip to Egypt because I've always wanted to roll there. That looks so sick. Oh, man. I'm down. Yeah. So down. Pyramids? Let's fucking go. Let's go. Let's go, dude. Everyone just looks like sexy ass Rami Malek. Literally, let's go. Let's go. Dude, I want to see some motherfucking sarcophaguses, bro. I want to see some mummified shit, dog. You know, I think I'd be a little bummed at the pyramids because I

Every photo I've seen of him. What? Why? Okay. Always imagined. Well, I'm going to tell you. I'm about to tell you. I know, but I want to express my confusion. Okay. Well, I'm going to tell you. Okay.

It's because they it looks like it's in the middle of the desert and everyone's riding horses and wearing the outfits and doing the thing but camels Well, you can run it I'm sure there's horses camels specifically Yeah, Arabian horses big one So you're riding the camels and it looks like you're in the middle of fucking nowhere like you're in the middle of the desert Yes, you are. It's fully in a city. Oh, you're not

It's just like 100 yards away from, there's just a neighborhood. By the pyramids? Yeah. By the pyramids. So here's my question. But you know that. But you know that. Yeah. So where's the disappointment going to be coming from? Thank you. I think just actually seeing it would be, I'd be like, oh, fuck. I wish we had to travel out.

to these pyramids and feel like you're away from everything and feel like you're in a whole new world. Like you're literally, you can go to a Starbucks. A whole new world. Don't you dare close your eyes. A whole new. Exactly. You think it's going to be like Aladdin? I do. God damn, Adam, your whole knowledge of Egyptian culture is through Disney's Aladdin. That's not the same. See, I don't want to go to Starbucks. How?

Have the ice not melt and I'm still drinking my Starbucks that I got. I feel you. That seems like your dream. Yeah, exactly. It seems like your dream to have a cold Starbucks and then to hit up some pyramids. I want to be like, I got to have snacks. We're going to be out in the middle of the desert. I have to have a camelback. You want a journey. I want to pack my snacks.

I want it to be an adventure. Yes. It won't be much of an adventure. It'll be, it's just a sightseeing thing. But can't you like, can't you do that? Isn't there some, you can go on an adventure when you're visiting Egypt. Maybe it's not the pyramids, but you could go out there in the Sahara. Yeah, for sure. I bet you could go like deep. Oh, sure. I can see sand. That sounds tight. I have no idea. I'm,

very no I had a similar thing Adam you just said wait hang on you can't have it both ways you can't go I want an adventure and now when Kyle's like I'm sure there's other and you're like oh so I could just go see sand but that's what you're talking about you want no no no no what I'm talking about is I go out and there's a tomb in the middle of the desert that you have to travel to through sand this motherfucker thinks it's Indiana Jones yeah he wants to

be Harrison Ford. Yeah, I do. I do want that. Okay. I do want that. I'm just saying that's the knock. Adam, just go to Vegas. I've been. I've been and I like it. Alexandra. Alexandra. Just shut your big yapper.

Well, don't you, I mean, isn't it weird that that is like they built, I mean, it's not weird because I guess that's where the aliens built, but go off. People were there. So then they just built the civilization right there. Yes, exactly. But like building shit near a river. Yeah.

You need to watch Stargate right quick because aliens did build that shit. But anyways, I had a similar thing, Adam, because I really like the show Rami on Hulu. Shout out to my squad. But he goes to Egypt in the season and he's like on the freeway. And then there's just a fucking pyramid there. I was like, I totally thought it was something like a destination way off. Yeah.

I had a similar thing where it was like, oh shit, they're just out there. But that kind of made me like it more. It doesn't make me like it more, but I mean, I still would like to see it. I want to see all the wonders of the world. But like, imagine being in LA and instead of looking up and seeing like the observatory, it's like a straight up pyramid that was made way back in the day. That just blows your fucking mind. To me, that's just crazy that it's built around that. Yeah, dog. Blows your fucking mind. Yeah.

Yeah, we have the La Brea tar pits. Yeah, we have the Hollywood sign. We have the Hollywood sign. Yeah, we do have the tar pits. That's right. Let's go. Let's go.

Right.

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Have you seen the NBC show called La Brea that looks absolutely insane? It looks fucking nuts. So what it seems, what I could gather from the commercial that they played during the Olympics is the La Brea Tar Pits open up and now there's a portal to

to a prehistoric world that this family falls through and they are now like in Land of the Lost. Dinosaur times. That was the show. It blew my fucking mind. Land of the Lost. Land of the Lost. I like it. Remember that shit, Saturday mornings? That was the show. I don't. Yes, absolutely. Nick at night. And the sister was so hot with the glasses. Oh my gosh. I had a thing. And we're going to post the theme song intro to that right now because it was fucking sick. We opened the

*Sings*

Also, the little monkey, bro, was so cool. It was for sure not a monkey with strings tied to his lips. It was like a dude in a costume, but it was so scary. Yeah. Legitimately. Don't know. Don't know that. You never saw Land of the Lost? Oh, dude. Land of the Lost? Did you see the movie? What about the movie? I saw the movie. Oh, no. Yeah, but the show was where it was at. There was like this little baby dinosaur and a little baby monkey dude, and then there was this hot sister that I was talking about. Yeah, I think like Yorma Tacone. Yorma did the...

was the guy in the movie. Dorma played the monkey in the movie, right? Yeah. I never saw the movie. It was cool. Isn't that Will Ferrell? It was god-awful. It wasn't god-awful. It wasn't. I won't do that. It's science. I think about it a lot. What do you mean you won't do that? It was bad science. I won't say it's god-awful. That's a really...

What does that even mean? God awful. What is God awful? It means even God hates it. It means God was, you know how God made everything, right? So he made that awful. So it's God awful. That is a crazy ass phrase. It was a mess. It was a mess. There's nothing wrong with the mess. All those people have had plenty of successes. They're not total losers. Hated it.

There's a scene in that movie that's kind of cool where they were using like auto-tune when they were touching some orb and shit. And I thought that was cool. What's up with that? I bet it's dope. I bet it's good. Yeah, I think it was sick. Adam won't see any Land of the Lost products.

I'm not going to know, sir. I don't like it. When you guys were kids, just to go back to Tar Pits. Yes, we have to. When I was a kid, I had a vision of the La Brea Tar Pits being like this super epic place. Did you guys uphold it in your memory as something that was supposed to be awesome? We did not know about it. Yeah, we didn't even know that it was a thing. No, I knew about it, Blake. Well, I love it.

dinosaurs as a kid. Like, La Brea Tar Pits was some shit you heard about in the streets. Well, yeah, you guys are California kids. You guys are California kids. In the Midwest, we're... What, Midwesterners? You don't care about dinosaurs? No, we don't know about the La Brea... I didn't know about the La Brea Tar Pits almost...

I'd lived here for like four years before I knew that the tar pits were even here. Wait, were the dinosaurs even in your neck of the woods? Mammoths. Also, guys, let's talk to the community real quick. Thank you. Because the community doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about, Blake. Because if you're anywhere besides California, you don't know about the La Brea Tar Pits. I'm pissed now. Did you not have dinosaurs where you grew up? Did dinosaur bones come from where you guys grew up? Did they roam our earth? Yeah. I don't know. Probably. I don't know.

don't know. Like were they in Chicago? Were they in? For sure. They're everywhere. I think they named a dinosaur like Chicago-saurus or some shit. Okay. That's cool. Don't quote me on that. All I know is that we have the big T-Rex named Sue. I think that's our claim to fame. Beautiful. Okay. So anybody who doesn't know what the fuck

The La Brea Tar Pits are... Hey, don't be rude to the community. Just explain it. Yeah, don't be rude. Well, it's just weird. I assumed we were all on the same dinosaur plane, but I guess not. We're not. Dinosaur plane? We're not. That's tight. And Blake, I know exactly what the Tar Pits are, but if you could explain it to me just to refresh me, I... Yeah, and we all know exactly what it is.

And I've seen it because what I've seen is there's like, it looks like a puddle. It's a tar. It is. It looks like a shitty puddle, like a tiny, very tiny pond. Yes. No, that's what's weird is because in my mind, I thought it was this like giant, like desert of...

bubbling oil and tar and shit but really what it is right now is just this like lake of tar in the middle of la right dude it's like half a football field that's being generous to be call it a lake that's that's generous it's a a small pond that like a rich person would have in their yard right like a rich kansas person would say you drive past our pond yes to the house yeah

Mm-hmm. It's like a lot of mammoths and shit that used to roam the Earth would step into this thing and then just straight up drown. So a lot of really well-preserved fossils were found in the tar pits, and that's what made it really special. Damn.

Dino DNA. To show up there now, it's not super sick. Yeah, it's just like in the center of Miracle Mile. It's just like chilling right by the Ralphs. Right. Yeah. It's right next to Ralphs. But what is cool is, have you guys rolled up? It's still bubbling. Like, it's still...

a tar pit oh my god is it i gotta go yeah bubbling i don't give a fuck bro the best thing bro it's been bubbling since the mammoths were on earth and you're not stoked yo are you for real it's been bubbling that whole time those could be the same bubble yo i went to the beach the waves are still waving they're still crashing oh yeah that's cool did y'all feel that wind the other day

The wind was winding. Yes. Dude, I went out in the sun. Dude. Look at it. Whatever. It's still sunning. Did you guys read Farside when you were kids? Because I remember one of my favorite Farside cartoons was just like a dinosaur selling rugs instead of a bray of carpets.

He's the bae. That's great. But there's also an actual store called- Yes, points! Thank you. Lawrence of La Brea, and he sells carpets, right? Yep, yep.

Yeah, carpet stores have the best names. Words are fun. I love puns. I bought a dumb, expensive rug from Laurence La Brea. Yeah? Did you? Worth it? Worth doing it? Not for me. That was a Chloe. She wanted a nice rug. And admittedly, now that it's in my house, I really like it. But goddamn, are rugs fucking expensive? Bro, I feel that. I'm just like, holy shit. I didn't even know that they could cost that much money. I was like...

I was wondering why they were being so nice too because we didn't like, like they brought over one and it didn't quite fit in the house. Like they delivered it and they go, I'm going to go back to the store. I'm going to bring 10 rugs and we're going to find you the perfect rug. And I'm like, okay. And then he comes back and then these men bring all these rugs into my house. I'm like, these men are being so nice. And then it wasn't until like I gave him the credit card to pay for the goddamn thing that I was like, oh, now I know because I just bought a fucking car.

to put on my floor to walk on. Jesus. I'm like, oh, that's why they were being so fucking nice. Kazam! Those are definitely one of those items that if you see them places, like you never appreciate that stuff until you actually go into a store and realize...

how much of a flex a dope rug in your house is. I'm flexing. Right. So things for you are based on monetary value. Yeah. Yeah, not me. No, it's just sometimes you overlook things in life because you don't realize what the price tag is. I'm flexing, dog. Someone just put in our chat, Persian rugs can be up to $30,000. They can be up to $150,000. I guarantee you. Some of the size of these rugs where you're like, whose living room is 60 by 40?

yeah e40 yeah e40 for sure that's probably true e40 yeah i like how you think of like the richest person and blake immediately goes to e40 yeah well i will say the 60 by 40 informed that decision and i just kind of built off of it yeah that is true he just did the number thing yeah but i'm sure the most expensive persian rug is 33.8 million dollars coming from anna this is a

fact yeah the most expensive persian rug and mine was less than that i will say yeah it was less than 33 mil less than 33.8 million yeah so i guess i wasn't as blake like to say flexing on everyone dude your girl has such shitty taste yeah yeah i guess you're not the e40 of our friend group so i'm not i'm not no sorry about it but admittedly it makes it makes me go like uh

Because then I had some other rugs that I got just when I first moved in the house. Damn, son. Yes, rugs. It makes me go like, oh, this rug fucking sucks. Now that you have a really nice one, you're like, oh, you appreciate...

It's weird when you start to make money and you just have nicer things and you're just like, oh, I do like this more. Yeah. I kind of hate that about myself. Son, where'd you find this? I hate that. I like this. You know what, though? I bought a fancy rug and it shed for like six months. And we were like, how long? Because it had like long fibers. It looked really fucking cool. It was a dog. Oh, look at this.

And it ran away. It was a dog. It was a dog. You accidentally bought a dog. This is important. We hit them up and we go, how much longer does this happen? And they were like, it could be two years. And we were like, come get this shit. Because their whole thing is that you bought it for...

20 years right so two years out of 20 is nothing and i'm like you get this shit out of here now well was it not because the one that i bought was like super old it was like you know it's like an antique oh it was worn this was like a new new rug by the way that's how they really got you they're like we just vacuumed this shit you got a used rug dude i know yeah it's like used there was like oh holes in it that you could tell that they fixed footsteps on it let me sell a used rug

I know. That's why I was like, how much is this fucking used rug? Did it have some kind of history? I feel like they must have sold you on some shit like, this used to be in the house of... Greta Garbo's rug. Colonel Mustard. On the floor of Spago. Just the fact that it was super fucking old, and I guess that's cool. I have no fucking idea. It is cool. It is cool. Like, these things had a life before you, but like...

Get me in that rug business, dude. Where like when people die, you just roll through to the estate sale and scoop up some rugs and resell them. Yeah, I'm down with that, Durz. Okay, so old rugs are cool, but a bubbling ass fucking tar pit is not impressive to you. But okay, go off, King. Go.

Go on. I didn't say a tarp. It wasn't cool. I just said it wasn't. You were not impressed. I did. You kind of were shit. Hold on. Hold. No, I said that it wasn't a big deal that it was still bubbling. That's what they do. But like, homie, they stay bubbling. You were like, you know, it's still bubbling as if like the bubbles are the thing. It's hot.

No, that's not what they do. That's what it does. It is a special tar pit, if I had to guess. I don't think there's many tar pits in the world. Yeah, but you don't know. Carpets over tar pits. That's where I'm going to be at, okay? Thank you, Gary Larson. Thank you, Gary Larson. You ripped that from my mouth, dude. I was...

Damn. Dang. I can't argue that. I can't argue that. That just goes a little too hard. Carpets over tarpets. God, you're going to be such a... I'll be right over here chilling for a couple minutes. Bubbling. Oh, man. Okay.

Okay, well. Okay, so do we have any take backs, apologies, giveaways? Slams. Complements. Epic slams. Compliments. I'd like to compliment Dennis Devine's battle. Yeah, dude. His fight. Hell yeah, brother. Fantastic. A true ass kicker. That shit's important. Yeah, it is. Good job, man. Hell yeah. Can't wait to see you. And I want to apologize to the cancer. Sorry, you're off the project.

Sorry, bitch. You're off the project. Sorry, cancer. You got your ass beat. You've been cancered. You've been cancered. Cancer culture. You lose! That's for the cancer right there. I'll give a shout out to part of our community. Since we were speaking of twins, it made me think of my favorite set of twins. Yep. Pfft.

Twins. Twins. Release the twins. Atiba and Akko Jefferson, I love you guys. My favorite twins. I hope you're listening. Dude. Thanks for being part of the community. Dude, and our community is just growing. Atiba's at the Olympics, man. He is. Atiba's at the Olympics. Let's talk about it on part two. Okay. We'll talk about it next week on part two.

I guess, you know what? I'm sorry I went so hard at the people raising each other's hands. Like, do your thing. I know that we're in the do your thing era. So I guess...

I guess do your thing. You lose! But if you lose, you got to raise the... Don't win and raise somebody else's hand. Yeah, not nice. It's demeaning. Well, ask them first. Ask them before. Get consent. Can we do this? Can I raise your hand? Hang on, wait. I just thought you did really good. Not as good as me, but you did pretty good. Sorry, my cap is over my ears. What'd you say? Can you raise my hand? They're filming us. Can you raise my hand?

Yeah, I'm really tired. Hey, next time we're all on a red carpet together or separate, you know how they take group photos and then they take separate photos? We have to keep jumping in each other's separate photos and then raising each other's hands. Oh, you guys.

Yeah. This guy right here. I'm down. He did it. He did it. Blake is in this project. The era of guys doing fists at each other from action movies doesn't exist anymore. The boxing stance. It's so good. Dolph Lundgren, if you follow him on Instagram, he was doing that to his...

fiance or girlfriend or wife the other day he like had a fist on her chin and I was like yes sir I'm like I don't know what the message is here yeah but he can do it it's automatic for those dudes they automatically go right into the fists like boxer photo well remember that wild ass story Dolph like fended off uh like intruder in his home so oh yeah what yeah remember imagine if someone busts into your house and Dolph Lundgren comes around the corner just like six five get out of my house you're like absolutely sir so sorry

I am so sorry I was about to rob you. But wait, when was this? And did he tell us this story? It was a few years ago. It might have been after he was on our show, but for sure, like someone came into his house like an intruder. And I can't remember if they were fans and they're kind of like, oh, yeah, wrong house. Sorry, bro. Or if he beat the shit out of them. But he diffused the situation. Because I know LL did that. Great, great way to wrap this up.

Alright. And this was an episode of This is Important. Thanks, Kyle. Let's wrap this shit up. Alright. See you next week. Hear that? Pumpkin. That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather. It's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

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