Ep 57: Bro, the Dudes Invent a New Bro, Dude
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These fucking puppet bros, they stick their hand in there and they don't even ask permission. I want to get a cheese guy. They send you a horse head in your bed, oh my god. Motherfucking wizards never die. Let's go! Yeah. Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's-a go! Ooh! That's a different one. Yeah. What was that one? Is that Luigi? Let's-a go! That's Mario. He's getting in on the action. Are we jumping into the Mario movie already? Oh! Can't we just... The hot news? We can!

We can. What was the hot news? That came in one ear and out the other. I don't know if it was news. No, I think people were just a little bit upset about the casting, right? What was the casting? But I don't think the internet is cool with any casting, really, right? That's true. Well, here's the thing. The voice of Mario is going to be Chris Pratt.

And I think they're kind of mad. The most Italian man of all time. Hey, we don't know if that's his Ellis Island name. Maybe it was Pratini. We don't know this. Yeah, it could have been Pratini. Let's do our research. Gobble ghoul! I've been watching some Sopranos. It's leaking out of you. Did you watch the Many Saints of Newark? That's the shit I watched last night. Spoilers. I'm going to watch. I have never seen Sopranos in my life. Oh, really? I'm in season three right now.

now, and I'm going to watch the movie after. Okay. Nice. Yeah. As you should. It's the best. It wouldn't make any sense if you didn't. You got to really know the characters, because I've seen all of Sopranos a couple times. A couple of times. And it took me halfway through the movie to piece together who everyone is. Also, I'm bad at stuff. Right. So I'm sure if anyone just kind of could pick it up, but me, I was having a hard time with it. Yeah. Okie dokie.

I was like, oh, yeah, I think that's his mom. That's Uncle Junior. What is it? Is it a movie? Yeah, it's a prequel to The Sopranos that shows Anthony growing up. Tony Soprano growing up. Got it. T. Got it. That's cool. And it's cool. So if you watch the series, you know all of the older... They were like, that generation was dying off when Tony was coming up. And so you kind of clock all of them together.

uh and then now you see them as as in their prime being badass gang stars young bucks when they were cracking skulls watching it now i'm watching homeboy who played t1000 in the terminator movies is like this degenerate gambler guy oh yeah and he's so good that i was like fuck they should have done a spinoff because he's like i'm going to nevada so far i don't know if he comes back or shows up dead or whatever

um but i was like god they should do a spin-off of his life just going to either absolute shit in out in vegas or like almost going to shit and then somehow getting it together and being and then of course like i don't know i was just like he's so good at this loser yeah it could be interesting to see him fail or succeed out there in the desert oh maybe like when he goes out to the

Oh, shit. You know what I mean? Do you think that those are law enforcement? I don't know. I don't know. I'm just trying to bridge a couple worlds. You know what I mean? When he says cinematic universe, he means the entire universe. Do you know John Connor? It's like Space Jam. It kind of tied every universe together. The new one. I'm sorry. Exactly, dude. Yeah, they bring everything in. It's like the Spielberg flick that had all the like...

all this stuff from everything you know what it's such trash it's ready player one yeah ready player one it's such trash what there's you don't like to watch movies and just look at the background and be like i know that character right it sucks it's such a good it's such a pander it just is like garbage it's like you don't have one original thought

except for the thought of let's have everyone that who's ever been invented already together. And that's the original thought. I hate it. No, it's totally whack. I agree with you, Ders, but also I fucking love it. You know what I mean? I'm split right down the center on it. It panders directly to us, right? It's like having a cheeseburger pizza. You're like, Oh, wait, did you just wait? Hold on. Yeah.

Did you just come up with that right now? Did you just come up with that right now? Or the fucking, the Dorito tacos, right? Oh. It's amazing. Great idea. It wasn't the best. Hey, I understand your point, but you are not making us dislike it. You just named two things that we love. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's stupid. It's dumb. I fucking hate it. It's like Dorito tacos. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. And we're like, ah.

That's not my point. My point is Doritos Tacos is amazing. Right? Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Listen to him backpedal. I've never heard Durr's backpedal in his life. Wait a second. No, no, no. But keep going because there's another step to this. Right, Anders? What are you saying? It is amazing. Yes, but the next step is it's amazing, but you're not. Hey, well, Durr's, quit starting and stopping. Just complete a sentence. Jesus, dude. You know that I can't finish a sentence.

Go. It's amazing, but... My point is, it's cool, it's fun, it's delicious, but it ain't winning no Michelin star. Okay. Okay. That's what we're going for with our snacks. Yes. My man is a metaphor king. We want Michelin stars. So you're saying Taco Bell is just a snack to you? No.

Oh, shit. What do you mean? Taco Bell is a... That's not a meal when you run for the border? No, it's a meal. Okay. You got to get a couple of them, but it's a meal for sure. You're talking to the voice of Volcano Nachos, so don't think he's ever going to throw a dirty word. Volcano Nachos changes a man. I feel like that's just your dad. You're like, is it cool if I just do my dad? In that commercial, you just played a sunburnt version of your father.

His dad is sunburned. He's a fisherman. Yeah, that's true. That shit's important. Yeah, for that commercial I just played, my dad is if my dad were in a Vietnam War veteran. Perfect. If he was inside of a Vietnam War veteran. Yeah.

Can't finish. Perfect. I know we talked about that commercial on this pod, but we never posted a link to it on our Instagram. We should definitely. Oh, yeah, we got to. Oh, we're going to cut to it right now. You ever been face down in lava sauce, son? Getting ambushed by jalapenos? Your tongue's burning. But you get so crazy. Heck, you start lacking the pain. What's with the voice? Volcano nachos.

And we're back. All right. Changes a man. Oh, we're back in it. He's still got it. Yeah, that makeup is a Taco Bell commercial that was basically my face for like a minute. So it was pretty cool when I was like, I think I was like 22 or something when that commercial came out.

I remember that. Yeah, it was like early, mid-20s kind of thing. Yeah. And I remember, yeah, maybe it was before we got the show. So I must have been like 23 or 24, somewhere in there. It was a big deal because it was on the screens and like all the bars and people were seeing it. Yeah, every bar that we went to, it was like you look around the screens and all of a sudden it'd be like my face on 100 TV screens. And we were like, oh my God.

Drinks on me. And I'm like, I got paid $500 for the commercial. So not drinks on me. Also, it was at the time when we thought that if you were in a commercial, you got free product from said place as well. And we thought we were going to be just neck deep in Volcano Nachos. And that's not the case. Taco neck deep. You'd like walk into a Taco Bell with Adam and be like pointing to him like, and I'm like, I'm the guy.

I know. I know. Okay, cool. You want a double-decker taco at $1.27? I think I told you guys when I worked at Lacoste, Usher came in and was like, can I get some free stuff? And they were like, no. He's like, I just wore Lacoste in my new video. I'll pull it up on my phone. They're like, we're so sorry. Didn't buy anything. What?

You got to go to corporate. You got to go to the corporate headquarters. And now we know. You got to get the card. You got to get the card that says your lifetime Chipotle member, whatever it is. I kind of just went through that when I, because I got my specialized bike. I got

my electric bike. It's sick. Oh, hell yeah. I'm not able to take it out. And don't. And I won't. It's just going to collect rust. Rust and dust and all them things. But it was so damn nice. But I walked in and they're like, hey, can I help you? And I'm wearing a mask and shit. And I go, I think I'm here to get a free bike. And the guy's like, yeah.

Yeah, me too. And I'm like, I think I am. And he's like, no, there's no free bikes. And so I'm like, and I didn't have the contact. Yeah. Isaac, our manager, is like, yeah, you just go in there, say I need a free bike, and they'll hook you up. Right. And then so it was like five minutes of me trying to explain that I get a free bike. Why? Why do you get a free bike? I'm sorry. Why do you get it? No! No!

I know exactly. And then I feel weird about it. I talked about it. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's such an absurd thing. Yeah. And then, and then I'm like, maybe I, maybe I just buy a bike. I'm like so embarrassed right now. Maybe I'm like, Oh fuck. Here's my credit card. Just I'll buy one. Right. Um,

But then the manager came out and knew what was up and hooked it up. They were very nice and specialized, man. That thing was so fucking radical. Dude, that sounds cool. I like those electric bikes. I think they're cool. You don't have to pedal. You

You do. You do have to pedal. It's pedal assist, but you don't have to pedal hard, baby. Sorry, Kyle. You're going to have to put in some effort. Ah, shucks. I got to get one of those lazy boys with wheels where you just kind of zoom around in the gas-powered motor. But it does. It's actually like it goes so fucking fast. I'm like, this is a motorcycle. This thing soars. Yeah, they put a governor on it, too, because I guess in other countries where they sell them, they go faster. Really? Woo!

In the United States of America. You know how the government restricts us? Dude, talk about it, Durz. Let's go. Pauly Char segment. I think it tops off at 28 miles an hour, I think. 28? That's fast on a freaking bike. But you will end up going faster if you're going downhill. Like on my regular road bike, I can get it up to 40 miles an hour just bombing a hill. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. If you're in a low gear and you're pedaling down the hill too, you can get fucking going crazy. Yeah, exactly. So you get up to... I'm sure you can go sore down a mountain. That's super dangerous too. That's one of the scariest things. I always remember hearing about people in San Francisco, bike messengers and all that. When you're bombing those hills, if you hit someone, you straight up...

You die, you kill them, you're like a missile. Yeah, you're a human missile. What's that movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt where he's like a bike messenger? Oh, damn. So good. What was that movie? It's so good. It's called like The Delivery Boy or something like that? No. The Messenger? Yeah, The Messenger. Yeah, it's good. The Delivery Boy, I like that. He's just out there aggressively delivering sandwiches. Yeah.

It's about Jimmy John. I just remember the shots from the trailer were like, whoa, what the fuck? This is the most epic shit. Freaky fast. He skid slides underneath that truck. Oh, you have to drop down and slide under a truck. Wait, has anyone here actually seen it? No. No way. Oh, I've seen it. It's good. Okay, all right. Oh my God.

So what's the premise? He delivers packages and his thing is he's just a fucking wild man in those streets. He gets a package he's not supposed to have or something like that. And then Michael Shannon is like after him and he doesn't have a bike. So he's stuck running. Hey,

Isn't that the same exact premise of The Transporter? Yeah, and it's probably the same premise as Homer and The Odyssey. Thank you, Anders. Let's take it back to Oedipus. Look, all these stories are recycled. There's four stories, guys. There's four stories. This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and believe me when I tell you. These are all Aesop's fables. Yes. Thank you, guys.

These are all Hans Christian Andersen's tinderbox, okay? Charles Dickens wrote four stories. Yas, queen. Absolutely. There's four stories in this world. The Transporter. The Messenger. The Messenger. The Transporter. Space Jam. New Legacy. Cast Away. And Ready Player One. And Sopranos.

Hey, forget about it. And the many saints of Newark. Forget about it. Hey. Gobble goole. Since none of us are East Coasters, we're West Coast and Midwesters. Midwesters. When you heard Newark for the first time, you thought somebody was being weird and mispronouncing New York, right? Oh, 100%. Totally, dude. Newark. When they say what? Newark. Oh, Newark. Yeah. Yeah. When people are like, I flew into Newark, I was like, okay. It's real. It's real.

Okay, buddy, just slow it down. You could say New York. You don't need to smash the words together. That was like when Ninja Turtles came out and it was set in New York. But then when Throw Mama from the Train came out and it was Newark. Okay, Kyle, preach. I was like, what is going on here? I know New York because it has turtles. Throw Mama from the Train? Is that a good movie? And that is based on the Odyssey. Throw Mama from the Train. Yeah, that's an iteration of...

The messenger. Throw Mama from the Train. Weirdly, I remember watching with Kyle at your party or something. Why did we do that? Kyle famously punched his mom, so I think this might have been his favorite movie. He's like, I gotta see this. Famously punched his mom. Throwing her from a train, is he? During that time of Kyle's life, he was just watching that movie over and over and over. Ugh.

I wish this were real, Mom. What the hell? I wish the title of this movie was real. I wish it was Don't Tell the Babysitter, Mom's Dead. Can I stop? I love my mother. I love her. Come on. It was tough. You know, whatever. She had three boys in the house. We were crazy. I'm sorry, Mom. It was a tough 18 years. Well, fuck you, Cal. Yeah, we were crazy. Is it a good movie? I don't remember the premise. All I remember is the last, like, I remember at some point Danny DeVito gets called a booey with hair.

That I remember. I thought that was a good heat. Hey, is he in the water? No. Who's the second male lead besides Danny DeVito? It's Billy Crystal. Isn't it Stallone? No, you're thinking of Stop or My Mom Will Shoot with Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty. Which is an amazing movie. Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. Great cover. She kills it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's amazing. I think that's one where like

he's a cop and she the apple doesn't fall far from the tree she's also a super dope old granny cop he's a cop and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Throw Mama from the Train is like Danny DeVito hires Billy Crystal or Billy Crystal hires Danny DeVito to kill his mother. That sounds right. And their plot is to kill her on the train. And it's the lady from Goonies, right? Right. I don't know if I've ever seen it. It's the grandma from Goonies. Yes, it is. Never seen Goonies? Never seen it. Not a fan. Is that real? Blake, I thought you hated Goonies. I don't give a fuck! Oh, yeah. Remember Blake's hard stance of hating Goonies? Like a movie that everyone loves?

It's all because of the resolution he watched it at. No, it's hella old. Yeah, it's because he watched like a VHS copy. Someone copied it from their TV in like 92. Yeah, it's better on Blu-ray. Laser disc. I'll check it out. Sloth Love Chunk, Baby Ruth. I know the quotes. I know the gist, okay? So you never see it? Quotes aren't the movie. No, no, no, no, no. You don't know the context. You don't know that Baby Ruth was a candy bar? Duh. What about duh? Huh?

Doesn't Sloth say, Duh-huh? No. That's Mandela right there. He says, Rocky Road? Yeah, you need to watch a movie. Rocky Road? And then his ear bends forward and winks. Oh, yeah. It's Captain Chunk!

You gotta see that movie, dude. It's science. I'm good. Thank you, God. I'm good. But yeah, it was that grandma. Yeah. This shit's important. It was probably her. It was probably her. It was. There's only so many good grandmas in film. What are legendary grandmas of motion pictures?

Yeah. Good, good, good, good. Well, that woman, I was trying to think of Stop. What's the one that you just mentioned, the Sylvester Stallone one? Don't shoot her, my mom. Stop or my mama will shoot. Stop or my mom will shoot. Yeah, Stop or my mom will shoot. She was very funny in that movie. She was like a wise crap. Yeah, I still get it. We had one of the great actresses, great grandmothers,

cinematic history, Cloris Leachman in Game Over Man. Yeah. Cut her ass out. Yeah. And then cut her out. Oh, dude. I was just looking at a picture that popped up of me sitting next to her on that day when she was on set. And I was like, God, we need to release that. We need to release that opening.

Rest in peace. Yeah. Yeah. R.I.P. It's just sitting on a hard drive somewhere. And that was fucking cool. That was a cool opening. I just saw her recently in some older movie and I was like, oh shit, she was in so much stuff. Maybe she was even like hosted like the Muppet show one time. Probably. It was like, oh damn.

Yeah. Which would be an honor. It would be such an honor. Oh, yeah. I would host the Muppet Show with you. How come none of us have been on Sesame Street or the Muppet Show? I think we might be a little dirtay for their style. Yeah. They got Oscar the Grouch. They don't need another dirty dumpster diver like us. That's where I'd want to go. I'd want to do a cameo. Man, come on. A dirty dumpster.

Let me get in this scene with Grover. Let's hang with the grouch. Yeah. I'm trying to kick it with my homies, Bert and Ernie. Are they gay together? I'll never tell. I thought that they said they were. Didn't they just announce that somebody's gay? I think so. I think they did. Yeah, but when I'm there with them, like, am I fucking all of them?

Oh. Are you? They go back into the closet because of Adam. Right. Hey, I don't know. I'll never tell. I'll never tell. He's the friend that they can't be themselves around. Right. Fuck. I love that. They're like, oh, hey, Adam. Yeah, no, man. We love watching football with you, dude. It's freaking cool. Not that gay people can't watch football. Yeah.

Go Huskers? Just like, just don't judge us. We could do like a cool curse word section with Oscar the Grouch. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's our thing. Yeah. That would be where we'd get on there. Of like, what's the naughty words? Fuck you! Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

That's the count. Don't say fuck. Go fuck yourself. Ha, ha, ha. Waka, waka, waka. Snuffleupagus. Does Snuffleupagus talk? Yeah, he had a real weird voice. I feel like he was kind of like really. Oh, he was hella sad. I don't think I liked him. I was like, this guy's a loser. Oh, dude. His eyelashes were weird, dude. He was like depressing. Oh, dude.

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I did do a thing with Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy. Weird, wild stuff. They're cool. What do you mean? That's on the Muppets, right? Yeah, Muppets. Okay, but not Sesame Street. Oh, we're talking Sesame Street. There is a line there, right? Yeah. There isn't a line totally because you know who crosses the line? Who? Kermit.

Kermit the Frog's on both. Yeah, that's true. Good point, Blake. But Kermit was like a guest. Blake fucking shuts it down. I feel like Kermit was a guest on Sesame Street. Like, he's not a part of the fucking cast. He was like a guest. Right. I'm just being real. Kermit.

Kermit was very in there. He was like the news reporter. He'd be like, Kermit the Frog here, reporting live. I don't think that's Sesame Street. Is that Sesame Street? Relax, Kyle. He just wanted to do his impression. He just needed a moment. You can do it more. Do it again. What does it sound like? Go ahead. Hello, this is Kermit the Frog here, reporting live from the pond.

From the pond. Exactly. That was pretty good. That was honestly pretty good. Do you know Brian Henson personally? Blakes is better. Admittedly doing when I did that thing with Fozzie and I think it was Miss Piggy. Like the people that the puppeteers were so fucking cool. Miss Piggy! Yeah.

Of course they're cool. They were all like 70 years old. Just like hilarious older guys that high as fuck. Yeah. Oh, bro. Yeah. Smoke.

Yeah, you can tell that they were just acid heads back in the day. These guys, I'm like, oh, they were just funny as hell and cool. I'm like, man, what a cool gig that they've had for 50 years. Oh, man. One of the coolest things I did while I was in Atlanta shooting Woke Season 2 coming soon next year is...

was go to the puppetry center, like the museum, and they have a whole wing dedicated to Jim Henson, and they have all these photos from like the 70s where it's them like coming up with the show, and it's just like behind the scenes, so it's just like all these hippie bros with their hands up puppets' asses just standing there, but it's like, man, what a cool time. The dream. Did you say puppet bros? Puppet bros. What? What are you? Well, it's like...

You know who I can't stand? Fucking puppet bros. Let's go! Just these fucking puppet bros. Puppet bros are ruining puppetry. Everyone's got to be a fucking puppet bro now. It used to be puppet artists, and now it's puppet bros. They get into the whole thing for the wrong reason. Cranky Anchors changed everything. Yeah, they scream let's go before every time. They're adding weights to their puppets.

Get a little shoulder workout. Just work in their lats. It drives me crazy. Okay, places please people. Let's go! Could you imagine Jim Henson just with two weighted puppets? No, these fucking puppet bros. They stick their hand in there and they don't even ask permission. Why is there a museum of puppetry in Atlanta? Is Jim Henson from Atlanta?

I don't think he is actually. That was like the weird part of it. No, there's one up in Seattle too though. I remember seeing it up in Seattle. My follow-up question is why is there a puppetry museum in Seattle? Well, I think it was just coming through when I saw it up there.

Okay. An exhibit. Because I saw it in LA when it was at the Getty. Well, that's right. Yeah, I think it moves. I saw Beaker and I saw the puppets as well. It was very cool. Well, this museum is a permanent installment in Atlanta. It's very cool. It's just one wing of it is dedicated to Jim Henson and they have a ton of sick relics. But then the other wing is puppets throughout history and of the world. And those are mad interesting too. Yeah.

There must be a huge puppet market down there in Atlanta or something. That's probably in its roots. A lot of puppet bros in Hotlanta. I don't doubt it. That's fucking cool. Puppet bros. The puppet bro scene is totally, as Kyle would say, vibro in Atlanta. It's just like lifted trucks and freaking just lots of felt. Just tons of felt and googly eyes. And puppet nuts. Uh-huh. Yeah. Lifted trucks and puppet nuts. Right.

Bro, I love your Gonzo. Gonzo's sick. Gonzo was sick too. I'd love to do a scene with Gonzo. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Oh my God, I'd love to do a scene. Muppet Babies was like head and shoulders above almost every cartoon to me. It just seemed like a whole nother level. I watched a lot of that. Muppet Babies rocked. Why don't you say head and shoulders above? Because remember the mom you couldn't see above the shoulders? You couldn't see her head or shoulders. Yep.

You just saw her socks and stuff? It was just something cool. Like, I mean, that's why Rugrats ruled, too. It's just, like, giving a voice to these babies that can't talk. And then they, like, that's why Rugrats ruled. It's like when they're around the parents, like, goo-goo-ga-ga. And then as soon as the parents leave, they're like, yo, this is what's up. Right, right. Angelica's a bitch. But you had parents in Rugrats. You had parents in Rugrats. You had Stu and Chucky's dad. That's right. Kyle fucking got you, Adam. Yeah.

So it's a little different, bro. It's just a little different. It's a different show. It is a different show. I'm saying that. Yeah, correct. I'm not saying that. Yeah, they're not. They aren't exactly the same show. But if you had to go Muppet Babies versus fucking Rugrats, where are you? Where are you landing? Where are you landing? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, where are you there? We're doing this right now.

Let's do it. Muppet Babies v. Rugrats. We're going to do this right now. Dude, that is a line in the sand. I think I got to go Muppet Babies. Nice. Nice. Okay, you can have that. You can have that. You can have that. Oh, God, Durz, you're throwing me back. Deek.

I'm a rugrat boy all the way. And I think that's... You mean you're a rugrat. I'm a rugrat. Yeah. I think what it was for me is when rugrats were the hot shit. We all know, Reptar. Fuck yeah. I think rugrats might be a little too young for you, Durs. I think that's why you were a Muppet. You saying no? No, no. I'm exactly... I'm split right down the middle. No, that is true.

Muppet Babies was out before the Rugrats. That is correct. You might have aged out of the rats by the time it was hot. I didn't because I remember when it premiered, it was Doug followed by Rugrats followed by Ren and Stimpy every Sunday morning. Ren and Stimpy. They put Ren and Stimpy in the morning?

That seems a little... Dude, that was when they were sneaking that shit on kids. It was called... Fuck, Nicktoons? I think it was called Nicktoons. No, no, specifically a thing called Nicktoons on Sundays. Right. Rocco's Modern Life came later. You guys should watch... There's a documentary called The Orange Years, I want to say. The Orange Years. It's on Netflix. That I watched on a plane. Yeah, and it was fucking awesome. It's all about Nickelodeon at that time when they started to make original programming and started...

with You Can't Say That on television, which was like a Canadian show. You can't do that on television. Do that on television. It's the best. And then they segued to their own stuff with Double Dare and all that and then into cartoons. And you were just like, holy shit, they were on a fucking run. Yeah. Bro, that's all I watched. Like, that's all I watched. It was Nickelodeon. That was it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Nothing else. Not to mention, like, Muppet Babies was Nickelodeon as well, right? Or... No. No, maybe it wasn't. No. But I think it was syndicated into Nickelodeon. I think they grabbed it. It was not. It was a CBS TV show, I believe, produced by Deke. Yeah, Deke, dude. Oh, yeah. D-I-K. D-I-C. Deke.

Deek. Deek. At the end of it. D-I-C. Okay. I spelled it wrong. All right. What'd you say? D-I-K. Yeah, yeah, I did. Yes, I did. Perfect. Whoopsies. You gotta say your accent like one. Perfect. Also, hey, wait. Help my stoned-ass memory because... Okay.

All right. Hey, bad boy. Okay. Bad boy. Is the Fraggle Rock in Muppet Babies? Is that, where did Fraggle Rock come from? Is that Muppet Babies? Fraggle Rock was an HBO show separate. It's Jim Henson, but it's a completely different show. Were they in the show as cartoons? Uh,

Skeeter was kind of, he looked like one of those Fraggles, but no. And his sister. Fraggle Rock was my shit. I loved Fraggle Rock. You look like a doozer. Yeah, I look like a bulldozer. Bulldozer. Bulldozer. I mean, that's where it came from. You named your wizard rap character. I mean, you met a wizard rapper named Bulldozer and you guys hit it off. So I'm writing my vows right now for the wedding. Oh, yes. Like,

Right now. So, uh, if I look distracted, I want you to be the fraggle to my doozers. It did. The first draft of it was like, I, a lot of references to the wizards. Uh,

What do you mean? What? Shut up, bitch. I've since toned it back and pulled those references out. Wow. This is why you should do a few drafts of your vows so you don't just come in real hot. I gotta ask. Wait. What were the references? What and why were these references? Was it wizards never die much like love? Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

I mean, that was the end. I swear to you, that was how I was going to end it. And then I was going to start it with, to quote Chloe's favorite 2006 seminal hip-hop rap syndicate from another world, The Wizards, Poof Pow Surprise, What's With Your Eyes, I'm So Hypnotized, and I Still Am. Oh, my God.

And then go into the vows and then end with, as they say, motherfucking wizards never die. Much like our love. I love you, Chloe. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

You can't. Yeah, all right. I'm glad we're talking about this. I'm glad we're talking this through. Yeah, this is good. So I wrote that draft and then gave it a day, slept on it, and then came back and looked at it in the morning light and was like, ah, no, buddy. When you say morning light, it's like after you sobered up. Did you write it very drunk?

No, not drunk. I haven't drank for like over a month. Okay. Okay. I know. Oh, sir, I don't like it. Hey, there you go. Yeah, it sucks, actually. I hate it. It sucks. What happened? Fuck it. Why are you doing it then? Are you trapped? Are you trapped somewhere? Yeah. I mean, good for you. A month is a long time ago without a little drink of drink. Yeah, so I... It was...

I had a, it was like the bachelor party and everything. And then like a few other things where I was just like kind of drinking and eating a lot like a pig. And I was like pushing 200 pounds. And I look at him and I'm like, Jesus, I'm five foot eight. I can't be 200 pounds. That's a big fucking boy. And I'm like, oh man, I got a wedding. I have this movie, the outlaws that I'm going to be shooting right after the wedding. So I'm like, I got to roll right into that. I got to tighten up the game. Well, then you got to be 200. You're going to roll into it. I know. Yeah.

Let's go. So I did that. And then this week, I was like, two weeks ago, I was like, I might have a drink or two, but really tighten it up. Two weeks ago, not a month. Two weeks ago. No, but a month ago, I stopped. Just checking. And then two weeks ago, I got COVID.

Whoa, wait, whoa. I got COVID. Wait, hold on, hold on. Yeah. So you knew that. We talked about that the other day. But yeah, so then I got fucking COVID and actually like, and I'm vaccinated, which is fucked up. Breakthrough. Breakthrough. And everyone that I've heard that has had a breakthrough, uh,

They loved it, right? They were like, oh, it was nothing, dude. It was like, it was in and out of my system in a day. It fucking knocked my ass to the ground. For like three days, I had a fever. I was like all fucked up. Finish him. Today's my 10th day. I'm ending my quarantine today. Right. And I'm fine, finally. Like, I'm finally fine. Oh, my gosh. I did hear on the same day I heard about you, I heard about another friend of mine in New York who's a writer, and he said him and his wife had a breakthrough case, and it knocked them down for three weeks. Oh!

After post-vaccination, yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad that ours wasn't that bad. And we're both testing negative and everything already, so that's a good thing. But for a minute, I was like,

Am I going to have to cancel the fucking wedding? Oh, that would be terrible. Like after everything, this would be a goddamn nightmare. Dude, that would have been crazy. I would have kept those tickets and still gone just to kind of celebrate for you, you know? I know, I know. Everybody would have. Yeah, yeah. Everyone would have. And we've already paid for everything. And I was like talking to Chloe. I'm like, how do we get our money back? Yeah. Especially for like the booze.

I'm like, because the fucking, you know, it's like a lot of money for the bar tab. And I'm like, well, they're not just going to throw away the alcohol. Right. Yeah. Alcohol stays good. Oh, for sure. It stays. So you're saving up. You're gearing up for the wedding. That's when you're going to kind of break the seal. Yeah, basically. And also just like. Wah! Wah! Wah!

I wanted to get better. So I'm not going to, even though I felt fine the last four or five days, I didn't want to then like slide back into sickness because I just wanted some delicious Ashland. So now you're like, you're like vaccinated and you have the antibodies. So you can pretty much go anywhere. You know what I mean?

Right? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm hella strong now. But you were, like, fairly good about wearing your mask and shit and, like, being safe. I think it was. Are we on the air? I got it. I think I got it on. Are we recording? Yeah.

Is this live? I think I got it on work. The last week of work I had on the Righteous Gemstones, it was all night shoots. Yeah, you get run down. So I think I was just run down. Right. And I was around people with COVID before. Just casually? Yeah.

Well, because I know... Because we get tested three times a week. So you knew there was some shit. Weird, wild stuff. There would be people in scenes where, like, you come back from the scene and they're gone. And you're like, well, where did they go? And they're like, they tested positive. They had to go home. And you're like, oh, shit. So I was with them earlier in the day, but I test negative, so it's fine. Right. But...

So I've been around people with COVID before, but then now I think it's just because I was so run down from like the stress of like planning the wedding, my dad having, you know, brain radiation, all the shit, all the other things. You're blaming your dad. You're blaming your father. Yeah, cool.

It's most of your dad's fault. Yes, point! It's my cancer-riddled father. Right, all that stuff gave you COVID. And it's his fault. That shit's important. I'm living a nightmare. So I think it was that, and then it just fucking hit me. That's wild. So fever or cough, like phlegmy lung, wet lung? Oh, dude, I had everything. I had 100% all the symptoms. I don't know what they are. I had a...

Bad temp. It was like 102 or something. Dude. Toasty. Big temperature. Big hot. So hot. I had chills. That's a big hot. That's a big hot. Did you have a big hot? I had a big hot. I had a headache for like days and days and days. Diarrhea. I'm still like pretty tired. Yeah. I'm just like tired all the time. Did you have the diarrhea? It was a squirt? Dude, the diarrhea was unrelenting. The trot. Diarrhea.

And it only lasted for one day. But it was like... Because of diarrhea. I was like, I'm going to shit my pants. I'm going to shit my pants. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like, I watched five seasons of Friday Night Lights. Nice. That's all I did. I just turned my brain off and just watched Friday Night Lights for like a week straight. Wild. Yeah. But I'm back now, baby. Solid poops. Good job, buddy.

It's almost too solid now. Tell me about it. That was my problem. Gosh, after hearing you say... I wish they made masks that had it where they would tell you when you have encountered...

I just want to know my stats, like how many times I've been around COVID with a mask or whatever, and I've avoided it, and I've dodged the bullet. It's just like always. Dozens of times. Yeah. Yeah, just like in Starbucks. Because you've gone out to bars and restaurants and stuff. If you're around a certain amount of people, you're around COVID.

COVID is my friend. And especially I was in the South. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. Right. And there's a lot of unvaccinated people in South Carolina. And, uh,

uh you know i know for a fact i was and i was like am i super human because i hadn't gotten it yet that's a cool way to think oh well what's your blood type adam because that was a rumor i heard oh negative yeah i heard a rumor swirling that like oh negative is like immune like you're you can't get oh really i'm oh yeah that's really yeah yeah i'm all positive what about oh positive am i good oh baby no you could get it easier actually yeah no you get it extra you might be dead you're probably a ghost it's easier for me to get it it's easier

I ain't scared of you, motherfucker. I don't know. From what I heard, it was O negative. I don't know about O positive, but O neg. You shouldn't be alive. So you have dispelled that rumor because you got it. Well, I got it. I think I was just like, I was exhausted, dude. That last week, I was like having a hard time switching into nights. One night, I got one hour of sleep. And then it was like three or four days that week where I only got like three or four hours of sleep.

So I think I was just like, if I wouldn't have gotten COVID, I would have just been regularly sick. So I just got that. Dude, I did hear something the other day where if you smoke a certain strain of sativa...

It coats the lungs and it blocks it. There's going to be a cool CDC warning before this. Yeah, and we're going to put a link to that. What I'm guessing is a university research. I am going to say allegedly Buddy on set told me about it, but allegedly he said he read one. It's Humboldt College. Yeah, exactly. NorCal is like, yeah, put it out.

Yeah. Hey, Bulldog from props. Yeah, it's E40 Community College. It's cookies or better. Right. Ooh. Ooh.

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I'm in Alabama right now, and apparently, I don't know if that was last month or last year or something, but more people died than were born in this state, mostly because of COVID. And I was like, oh my God.

God. Sick. Sick. That's terrifying. That's terrible. Sick. That's really scary. It is. Nobody's fucking out there or what? Nobody's having babies? Like, yeah, come on. Yeah, what's going on? I think people are like, they gave up fucking. Oh my gosh. Well, that's the first thing we need to do is start fucking again. Right. Yeah. How's the movie going, Jersey? It's going. Does Bobby D remember you? Guys, I'm happy to report. Yeah, I'm doing a movie. I'm down here in Mobile, Alabama. Yeah.

It's a Sebastian Maniscalco movie. It's kind of his like, not his life story, but a story from his life. That's why you're watching Sopranos? Getting in the Italian. That's what everyone says. And I was like, oh, fuck. I feel like such a weirdo. But no, I'm watching the Sopranos. Gobble gobble. Yeah, and I don't know if that's a bad thing to say or not, so I'm not going to

repeated hey i don't know i don't know what it even is chris pratt motherfucker fuck you hey but we had like a table read before we started shooting and bob rolls in and we're all kind of like sitting around we um robert de niro he's talking about robert de niro robert de niro i know bobby de niro plays uh sebastian's pops and uh they're like full-on like italian it's it's great

Anyway, so he comes in. We're doing a table read. Let's-a go! Everyone's kind of introducing themselves around the table. I'm like, hey, I'm Anders. I'm playing Lucky. And he kind of leans over, looks at me, and gives me the finger point like, hey. No way. Yeah. So guys. No fucking way. Let's just say he remembered me. Forget about it. Not an option. I love that. You made an impact on him. You're kidding. Okie dokie.

You're kidding me. Bobby D. He didn't forget about it. Bobby D didn't forget about you. Hey, I got some nice flowers from him right here. I got some orchids. You're kidding me. He's a professional. What a freaking class act. Actually, you know what? And Adam knows this from doing the intern. When you're in the main cast, Bob sends you a little letter that says, break a leg from his stationery and stuff. And you're just like,

Oh. It's so cool. I have mine framed. Yeah, you're framing it. I thought you were going to say he sends you a horse head in your bed. Oh, my God. So these are stereotypes that I'm sure he's been battling his whole life, and you're just kind of joking about him. Forget about me. But no, he is a class act. Yeah. Because he knows. He knows, like, pretty exciting to work with me. Yeah, here. He's like...

You're gonna want this. Oh, are you freaking kidding? Do you remember when he would like bring his cheese guy on the set of The Intern? I just talked about it the other day. Yeah. He's got a cheese guy? Yeah. He had a cheese guy that would come on set. From the Bronx. He'd come up and be like, hey, I don't know if you saw, but I got my cheese guy for you.

spinning some mozzarella. And he was like homemade, like spinning mozzarella, like in the parking lot. And you come out and he'd give you like little mozzarella balls on a stick. Oh, that sounds so nice. On a stick or like a skewer. Yeah. Or like a branch. Yeah.

Like a skewer, like a little skewer of mozzarella. A branch. This is Bob we're talking about. Here's another weird thing. On his birthday, on the intern, his cheese guy came and he just had these giant plates of spoons full of ricotta, period. Pizza, pizza. And he's coming around and then I'm like, bro, am I for real about to just eat a spoon of ricotta? And people are like, it's pretty good. And I was like, all right, I'll grab one so I'm not like a jerk. Yeah.

Yeah. I eat it and instantly grab three more spoons. Yeah. It was so damn good. Don't go away from here. I'm like, it was so fucking good with like a little dollop of, you know, olive oil on it. It was so damn good. I can't stop eating. Dude, that sounds so good. I want to get a cheese guy. Oh. I remember De Niro was, he like,

He'd come to set and he wasn't in wardrobe yet. And he was wearing his actual watch. And we were rehearsing the scene before we all went into hair and makeup. And he had his actual watch. And it was like, I forget what it was, but I like watches. And I mentioned that I liked his watch. And I had my watch on. And he was like, oh, you like watches? I'm like, uh-huh. Oh, you like time? Yeah.

Anders can't even tell time. Anders can't. My best friend Anders can't tell time, but that's cool you do. This is important. Yeah. I'm going to remember him. He can't tell time. That's memorable. I'm going to remember him. I won't remember you. Forget about me. All right.

I'm going to forget about you. He goes, here, I'll give you my watch guy. And I like threw away the card immediately because I was like, there's no way in hell that I can afford De Niro's watch guy. There's no way I would be able to afford a watch. Maybe. Maybe. Now I wish I had it. That was like eight years ago or

Well, Ders, can you ask Adam if he can get in touch with his watch guy one more time? Please hook me up with De Niro's watch guy. He's like, I don't know who you're talking about. I'll be like, hey, your watch guy? He's like, I don't know who you're talking about. Never heard of him. Not a fan. Didn't anyone tell you there's a huge black hole of my memory from that movie? Forgot about it. The whole first half of the movie, I don't remember. Anders, your size 12 shoe, right? I remember that. Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm going to my buddy Adam's wedding.

You said you're going to your buddy's wedding. I missed it. There was a part of me I couldn't even hear. It's like a bad drive-through speaker. You're going to your buddy's wedding. Yeah, well, just to reiterate, and I've told this on the podcast before, but I saw Robert De Niro backstage at some award show.

And he comes through and I go, hey, Bob. And he stops and just looks at right at me. And I was like waiting for him to be like, oh, hey. But he didn't say anything. And then I weirdly like stood my ground and didn't introduce myself, which is admittedly a weird thing to do. But I was just like kind of like.

Well, you want it. Like deer in headlights style. Yeah, you want it. And I wanted him to go like, oh, hey, how's it going? And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, Adam, the intern, remember? Right. But he didn't do that. He just stared and looked at me for, I swear to you, like 20 seconds of just like looking at me. And then he goes, and then walked away. I'm sure it was like five seconds, but it felt like two and a half minutes. You get what you give. I'm going to forget about this. And then Chloe was like, was right next to me. And she goes, what?

what the fuck was that? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what just happened. You better be getting out all your forget about it jokes here. Because if you bring those to Zen, De Niro's going to crack up too hard and he might hurt his tummy. Do not say gobble ghoul around De Niro. We don't know what it means. We don't know what it means. I'm not going to say gobble ghouls.

Well, now I'm trying to think if I had like unlimited fame and money, not that unlimited money, but like what kind of guy would I have with me? Like a cheese guy is such a specific, cool fucking flex. Oh, dude. What a great poll. Well, I think if you have starred in like 10 shows,

of the biggest like mafia type movies of all time you're just gonna have a cheese guy the cheese guy is gonna find you and be like hey i'm your cheese guy now well right anytime you you need cheese i'm your guy yeah because it's like he just brings you the spoon of ricotta and he's like hey man i'll bring the spoon of ricotta anywhere you go anywhere you're gonna love this

ricotta. You're beating cheese guys away. There's so many cheese guys. It's like, well, I got another guy. You gotta weed through them. Look, if your ricotta is better than that guy's ricotta, you could come with me. If this guy offends you, if this guy's a gabagool of any, at all,

At all. Are you reading the notes from the producer? Gobagool is a nickname for pork shoulder. Yeah, I've had capicola. So you're just calling somebody a pork shoulder? Yeah. So you're just saying a food. That's a cool nickname. What's that little pork shoulder? Little pistol starter? I just watched the Saints of Newark last night, and I swear they were saying Gobagool. It's like, you fucking idiot. Yeah, it's like calling somebody a piece of bologna. Yeah. In Gangs of New York, isn't he a butcher, though?

I didn't say Gangs of New York. I said the Many Saints of Newark, which is the Sopranos prequel. And we're back to it. We're back to it. It's the New York, Newark thing, bro. I just fucking still haven't clicked. Yeah.

When they're naming towns and cities, who thought it was a good idea to be like, no, I said Newark, actually. It's different. And they're like, we already have a New York up here. Yeah, it's like right there. Yeah, right there. And you said Newark. It's just right across the bridge. So it's really, really close. Oh, you're New York. We're Newark. I feel like you just said you were going to start a New York, but there already is one. I said Newark. No, no, no, no. I'm going to New York.

There's a G at the end. It's New York. It's right down the block. New York. Now the bit is different because that's not even a play. How do you know? Why do you stick in the confines of the bit? I refuse. I refuse. Wait, what are the confines of the bit? Blake doesn't color in the lines, man. He goes outside of it. I can tell. I see it. His shirts are all tie-dye, crazy colors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Popo South.

He's a crazy boy. Well, Ders, how many other ways could we take a city, buy a city that sounds like a city? But it's already there. I know, but I was trying to expand on the joke and go New York. But then you might as well just go puke dork. Hey, that's funny. But puke dork doesn't exist. Or do York. Do York. Yeah.

Do York when Mountain Dew takes over New York. Oh, Snake Plissken. Okay, guys, how improv works is we yes and each other. I admit that New York was a stretch. Yeah. And we probably wouldn't have walked down that road if Blake didn't lead us down it. But now that Blake led us down New York, I feel like we've got to walk down this road with it, man. But Adam, let's all be honest. There is something very...

Very satisfying and funny about every once in a while, just drop it a huge deny. All right. Hey, man. The crowd loves it. You love it. The crowd loves it. The crowd loves it. But you can take a deny and throw it right into fucking New York and now come up with a Mountain Dew premise. New premise. What happens in the future? Hey, Kyle. Kyle. What up? No, you can't. No. No.

Someone just crashed their car listening to that shit. So good, Anders. I'll walk it down New York if you guys want, but all day. Hey, capecolo, give me a pork shoulder. You gobbly gook. I think it's

Bafangul. Not Gabagul. Bafangul? Oh yeah, that's Bafangul. Yeah, Bafangul. Bafangul? What is Bafangul? Maybe that's it. What are we saying? By the way, let me just preface. I don't know what I just said, so please don't cancel me. Right. You're going to get kicked off of the movie you're on tomorrow. What?

We're not airing this. Yeah, this is in the shitter. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what it means. He's just saying it. He doesn't know. That's what he's trying to say. It's okay. Why are we doing do buff? No, we want buff. I'm not finishing it. Oh, Italian wannabes. Okay. Oh, perfect. Used by Italians to define Italian wannabes. People that are posers, basically. Okay. Okay. So that's Blake. So that's what we're doing. That's what's happening right now.

Yeah, so we are being a bunch of gabagools. We are chewy gabagools. And it's close to Halloween, so maybe I'm a gabagool. Oh. Yeah. Durs, is that okay, or can you kill that? I thought it was funny. The typical gabagool does not know how to speak Italian and is deeply convinced that Italians are exactly like television stereotypes. Dude, that's what...

Stereo-tay-ize. Yikes.

sorry my brain has been mush for a month no don't be sorry don't be sorry that's because you aren't drinking you gotta get some alcohol in your system get a talk in ashland yeah might be it could be the covid it's definitely not the covid oh by the way last night i'm at a restaurant and this guy was like yeah just like you he's like i had uh the vaccine got covid so i'm i really didn't it didn't affect me but then we kept being like so what's there to do around here he goes there's a restaurant down the street um

I can't remember what it's called. They have like coffee and stuff. I'm like, okay. And he goes, and then down the street, there's another... And I'm like, this motherfucker has the COVID fog. Yeah. Finish him. Dude, the COVID brain fog for me is like a very real thing. Like I keep...

Like, I'm... We're starting work on The Outlaws in, like, a week. Yeah. And so, like, I'm doing last-minute revisions on the script, trying to punch it up, add as many jokes as I can. And I'm, like, losing my place in the script. I forgot what I've read. I, like...

will like try to come back to it and be like, not remember the scene. I'm like, I've been working on this movie for like two years. I'm like, I know it inside and out and I'm having a hard time just like wrapping my head around it. The COVID fog. It's bad news. Ironically, you need to have

A Corona. Yeah. I need to have a Corona. Yeah, you do. And I can't taste. That's another thing is I'm like, you pay so much for this goddamn wedding for the food and drink. I can't taste or smell anything. Oh, really? Oh, you have that. You don't. You can't. Oh, yeah. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Wow. Man, that's not even a gobble. Goal. It's not. I'm a little bit of a gobble. Pork shoulder. Okie doke.

I can taste a little bit of hot sauce. So like I'm just pouring hot sauce on everything. Cool. And just like damaging your tongue. Yeah, totally. Well, that's why you're getting the fucking diarrhea, bro. It's not cold. It's just from the mountain of hot sauce. I think it's just like the rest of my senses are like, oh, that's something. The cause of diarrhea.

That's a little, that is a flavor. Yeah, so when your tongue finally reawakens, it'll just be scorched. It's just destroyed. Yeah, and I've just ate like nothing but like scalding hot soup and stuff for a week. So wait, you can't feel a temperature either? It's like a numb mouth? This is like post dental work? No, I think like it's warm is like I can tell that it's something. Like I like it.

Right. Well, cold, too? What about cold? Like, what about cold? Yeah, what about, like, frozen? Nah, I've tried, like, a popsicle. It doesn't do much. It doesn't do much for me. I'm sorry. Wow, but the hot is the breakthrough. Can you hear us? I can. Yeah, that didn't, that wasn't effective. You're a stupid dumbass. Okay, good, because we've been talking for, like, fucking 50 minutes, so that's good. That's good that you can hear us. Gabagool! Bafangool. Hey!

Oh boy, wow. Wow. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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There's something that I stumble upon every five years or so. Look at what I found, dude. Oh, dude. That's from like an original chain wallet, man. Describe to the audience what you are holding up. Okay. So I've got my leather smiley face chain wallet. Yep.

that I purchased from Hot Topic in probably, I don't know, maybe. That must have been like 96, 95 or 96. Yeah, dude. Hey, it's pretty fly for a white guy. I re-find this thing like every five years, I feel. And then I took it away. I feel like every time you re-find it, I'm right there with you when you're like, when you're like, it excites me. Look what I just dug out. And I'm like, oh yeah, like a smiley face. Cool. Chain wallet. No, that thing is fucking sick. Cool. Are we getting Carl's Jr. or not? Dude.

Did you guys rock chain wallets or what dude? Yes? There's no way Ders did. He's a Muppet Babies fan. Fuck you Rugrats boys. No, I didn't I had a hemp necklace chain wallet which was even crunchier. Like the chain was hemp? Yeah, the chain was hemp. I made it. I was...

Kyle has hearing COVID. By the time I was a senior in high school, I think I just really wanted people to know that I smoked weed. So like I made, I had multiple hemp necklaces that I would wear. I had a hemp bracelet. I had a hemp belt and I had a hemp chain wallet. Right. All right. Just letting people know like this guy loves hemp. But like hemp just being a product of like marijuana, right? But you don't, nobody smokes hemp.

No, no, no. You can't smoke the hemp. Right. But you know, if you if you rock a lot of hemp, people are going to assume that you smoke weed. And I think that's what I was going for. Or you're just resourceful. That's true, Kyle. Yeah. Like hemp people have changed nowadays. Nowadays, it's like nowadays, if you're using it, you're like resourceful. It's a resource. And then fucking also smoking hella weed, bro. Yeah. Hemp has changed. I guarantee you.

uh the percentage of people who have a hemp product 98 of them smoke weed yes they believe in the plant it's true two percent of them didn't know the thing they got from their son for christmas was made of hemp but he's just like how do you like that open it up mom it's actually a hemp made candles do you like your sweatshirt it's made of weed

It's soap, but it's like, it's like hemp soap. Actually. Hey grandma, put on the scarf. It's made of wood.

The grandma's like, you could have just got me like CBD oil and that would have been fire. And the grandma's like, I don't give a fuck. I rip. Right. Pulls the fucking bowl out of her butthole. Smoke weed every day. Hypothetically. Cool grandma. Ripping Grammy. Yeah, bro. I have a bowl in my butthole. Huh? Don't even trip, bro. I'm ripping bongs. Raj.

No, man. I didn't know that anybody who had an actual hemp chain wallet, but... But big ups. I went straight to Hot Topic to get mine. Oh, dude. You should have came with me and my crew. How long was it? How long was it is the question. Pretty long. It went down to about the knee. Like zoot suit style? That's the whole... You don't want it to be long, right? The whole point is that... Well, that was a thing is like there was when it was in style, like after Blake got that, people would...

People would connect chains together and do long-ass chains. Do you remember that? Also fucking multiple chains. Two chains. Two chains. Then we ain't talking titty boys. Is that why he got that name? Because he had an extra long chain wallet? Yeah. He had a pocket watch. He had a pocket watch and a chain wallet. I love two chains. I like when rappers make their...

make their rap name before they make any money and they're like you know what I wear two chains that's my thing because I don't just have one chain I have multiple chains at least two although Lil Yachty is pretty good it's not a big boat it's a little yacht that's a good one remember when 50 Cent was rapping about making 300,000 and you're like 300,000

like i mean that's money that's good money but that's not great money that's not like you rappers don't rap about making three hundred thousand dollars but was that like per was that per like verse on like a feature yeah what is he talking if you're getting 300 grand a feature that's pretty good money i don't know what the going price for a feature is because what's her name was saying uh what's her name was like i get 50 000 to feature are you sure that's even 50 cent 300 000 give me the

them and it'll be off when they close. That's Luda. Am I connecting two? I think you're smashing two songs together. Collision course. Is this a Linkin Park Jay-Z thing? Am I smashing them or is that maybe the Thai nation can let me know what's going on here. I feel the community will let us know. Thai nation hook it up. What am I doing? What's the old stone brain doing?

- Oh man, my man's a stoner, man. - You might have COVID. - Yeah, you might just have COVID. You might have COVID. - You might have the COVID. - 300,000? - Yeah, you're right. 2 Chainz, I feel like 2 Chainz has upwards of seven chains at this point. - Oh yeah.

But can he rock more than two? Or does he feel like he's breaking all the rules? Yeah, dude. That's a great question. I wonder if he looks at himself in the mirror, sees the seven chains, and he's like, I'm not living up to my name. Right. Just have two extremely expensive chains. Right. Right? I mean, he rocks those Cuban links, no? I do like it when the...

when like hip hop stars get to the point that like, like how Drake and Jay Z don't really fuck with chains anymore. Okay. And, and they're like, they're, they've gone past like needing to prove that they have money. Right. And then now they're just like, obviously we're very rich.

I don't need to wear a million dollars around my neck. They're iconic. They're not trying to prove anything with gold anymore. And that's why I don't wear chains. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're an icon. No! That's exactly right. That's why I do it. That's why you refused Robert De Niro's watch guy. You're like, I don't need that. Nope. I got my own guy. I'm going to wear this little Casio watch. And, you know, G-Shock is pretty cool. Yeah.

I feel like Jay-Z's going through a thing. Maybe he's coming out of it right now, but where he started to dress kind of like a teenager again. He wore business suits when he was like, I'm not a business, I'm a business man. But then recently he was like, I'm going to grow my hair out. Wear bucket hats. His hair looks really cool. I like his hair. Yeah, kind of just do sweatsuits a lot. I kind of feel super sorry for Beyonce because she keeps it together so well and she's so...

She's such a goddess. And then Jay-Z has just started slipping. Slipping like what? He's cozy. He's just being cozy. He's just being comfortable. He's a 50-year-old billionaire. You know what I mean? He's just like, all right. Let him be cozy. Beyonce is equally as successful as this man. And she looks fucking great.

amazing yeah but that's also that is beyonce's thing is like yeah looking woke up like this woke up like this thing was never how good looking he was but durst just brought up a very good point where he was like super like suit and tie like like he looked like put together he looked like a business because he's trying to like run rockefeller for a while and then i think he realized

That sucks. He's a pajama guy. Yeah, he wants to be cozy and make some fucking music and just chill, dude. Let him chill. Yeah, fuck you, Blake. I love that for him. Honestly, dude, let him fucking chill. I'm down for that. I just feel bad. You're being a gobble ghoul. I'm just like, it's so wild that Beyonce is just so...

more like so much more put together at this point and still just like bringing the heat where like jay-z just kind of went into like i just play video games he's basically the they're the rap version of king of queens you know what he's he's kevin james and beyonce is the banging ass wife that i forget her name i'm just a cave where is there a couple where is there a couple where like the guy is the one who's way more put together

Do you know what I mean? Like, this is par for the course. It was K-Fed, K-Fed and Britney. It doesn't happen that often. No, there's no archetype for that. Fall apart. What about Pink and who was her dude? The Excitebike rider? Matt Hoffman. What, the athlete? Popo Sá!

I feel like Ping is way more put together than him. He's like a skater X Games dude. Yeah, right. Hey man, I'm just spitballing. I'm trying to think. I'm racking my brain. Like, there's gotta be a couple. That was like a bad example. Dude, you're being a gob of ghoul. Fucking Durz, get off my back, dude. God damn, I'm trying over here. God damn.

Dude, he's all riled up. Bitch, go watch Rugrats. Get your Rugrats ass out of here. Oh, man. Muppet babies. Well, why didn't you cry about it? He's kicking with Bobby D, man. He's aggro right now. I'm down here in Alabama having a good time. Yo, also, also, 300,000 is from the song Yeah, and it's a ludicrous...

lyric and he's saying my pinky is valued over 300,000 okay so what about the ring on it a huge flex and then he says let's drink you the one to please ludacris fill cups like double d's so i was wrong in the funny ludacris is the funniest rapper

I mean, Ludacris, we got to give him flowers. Yeah. And I think, have we given Ludacris his flowers on this podcast before? Because that motherfucker has so many hits. Yes, points! We have. We gave him a little bit of flowers one time, but yeah. Yeah.

Go ahead. Go ahead. I mean, just hit on hit on hit on hit. And I think he might be one of the funniest rappers, right? Definitely like one of the wittiest. Definitely. That poses a great question. Funniest rappers. Like rappers that crack me up. Some rappers are so funny. Eminem is very funny. I was going to say Eminem also has an extreme amount of whip. A wit. Ha ha ha.

I have to give flowers to my buddy Matt Broussard, a comic. On our last podcast, I said something about how Gen Z and millennials, how millennials... I forget the joke exactly. You stole his joke?

Yeah, essentially. You're giving flowers. Yeah, no. And then he hit me up and he was like, hey, you said my joke. Next time, could you like, you know, mention that as my joke? And I'm like, is it your joke? And I thought I had made the joke up like just in the moment. I thought I'd like just was was spitballing and came up with that. And then I looked at his clip.

And sure enough, it's like basically exactly his bid. So I think I inadvertently stole. Which one was this? Yeah. What's the bid? Let's tell the joke. I'd like to know it with the comedian. I'm pissed now. It was essentially like millennials. We fought for gay marriage.

And that was where we we stood. And then Gen Z are like, yeah, but now we're all polyamorous and we all fuck each other. And there's no thing such thing as gender. And then all the like old guard that didn't believe in gay marriage for millennials are finally like, OK, the gays can get married.

you guys win. Oh. Essentially. And I mean, I butchered the joke on our podcast. And again. And again. Yeah, that felt like an observation. I wouldn't claim this one. No, he... He's funny. He's funny. And for a second, I was like, I...

It must have been like, you know, that idea is just kind of floating around. You know how that happens a lot in comedy where it's like it's just in the ether and two comics sort of had the same idea at the same time. Right. But then I went back and looked at it and it was so close to his actual joke. Right. That is definitely more well written that I must have seen it.

the week before when I was shooting nights. Is this your apology? Is this your apology kickoff? Oh, so we're into it? We're kicking it off? Yeah. So I would like to apologize to Matt Broussard. He's a very, very funny guy. Very funny. It seems like I took his joke. I did not mean to. And I want to give him flowers. He's super funny. I had him on House Party years ago. And he's a great stand-up comedian who deserves...

his flowers, and he doesn't deserve a guy snaking his bits, man. I love you very much. Which I did not mean to do, but I give him them flowers. How many drafts... He DM'd you about this? Yeah, he DM'd me. And big shout-out to him, too, because... He MD'd you. You know, I'm...

more established than him or whatever and i could see that it could be like a nerve-wracking thing for a younger comic to reach out and say something that's like big shout out to him to actually just go hey man and he was very nice about it and very polite and didn't accuse me of stealing which is nice i would like to compliment you right now use my compliment up on you for this whole uh

what you're doing right now and how you're handling this situation, how Matt did and how you are. I think that this is fantastic. Instead of beefing, you know, you get it out there. You own up. It's fucking big. It's good. Well, I mean, it sucks because in the, especially in the standup community, it's like, that's, that's the, the,

the worst thing you can do is be a joke thief. And that is not what I am. And I, and I, it seems like I must've watched it the week before when I was doing night shoots and it went in one ear out the other. And I just didn't, didn't put it together that it was someone else's bit when I was just spit balling on the podcast. Well, hopefully you talking about him right now, it will give him some shine. Cause, uh, dude seems very funny. He is funny. And, and, and actually go and watch his joke. Uh,

Find him on the Instagram and watch. He has a clip up and watch the joke. It is very funny. And he's much funnier than I'm giving that joke credit. Then come back and listen to Adam's version of it again and compare. I'm just going to butcher it. This guy's more established. What the fuck? I like the idea that he DM'd you and he goes, hey, you kind of said my joke. I was wondering if you could do it again, but better. Yeah.

Because it fucked up my shit. And now you're doing it worse? I know, I know. It's cool that you took it. Can you do it some justice? This guy's really funny. Here's what he said. Oh, God. There's marriage and gay people. I'm telling you, man, COVID brain is a real thing. I'm going to have a hard time at the wedding giving my vows. It's just going to be all wizard rap lyrics. Cut it!

That's the only thing I can remember. Yeah. Bro, along with age comes wisdom. Along with knowledge comes power. I can't wait for the apology after the wedding. Oh, that's going to be great. As they say, motherfucking wizards never die. Poof, pow, surprise. What's with your eyes? I'm so hypnotized. I remember for my vows, I was like, no jokes. I think I did one joke at the very end, but wasn't even like a hard joke. I was like, this is my wedding vows. Who'd you steal it from?

You pulled out your cell phone, I remember. You were like, I got this written in notes. Oh, yeah, I was ahead of the time. You were one of the first. I read it off a cell phone. I got some flack for it. I'm like, yo, it's 2011 or whatever. Like, come on now. Let's all go. You love your iPhone. Rappers are rapping off of cell phones. That's true. That's true. But I remember the drafts just like kind of going through and being like, no, that's not going to. What am I doing here? Come on.

Come on. It is a tough thing to write. I'm going to give my shout out to just Italian people in general. Thanks for letting us have fun today. We understand we are being gabagools. Hey, grazie. I feel like Italian people have always been... Italian Americans. Italian Americans just like really always been super down for getting some jokes in and I just...

I love doing a terrible Italian-American. They've always been down for getting some jokes in, and that's gone unnoticed. Okay? Grazie. Let's go. And I want to give a shout-out to the Puppet Bros of Atlanta. Keep doing your thing. And I know Chris Pratt's going to do Mario justice. It's me, Mario. I know he's going to do...

The role of Mario. Yeah. We started off with, it's just Chris Pratt. Who else? Who else is in it? Well, Jack Black as Bowser. Oh, isn't it Charlie Day's Luigi? Yes. Is that right? Yeah, that is right. Is he Italian? Is Charlie Italian? That's no Bob Hoskins. Is Day short for Daytona? Daytoni. I know he represents New Orleans pretty hard. He's like up and in the- Does he? Yeah. He's always doing the like Mardi Gras hella hard. I'm like, this dude does it right. But he's-

From Rhode Island? Yeah, he's not from New Orleans at all. Everyone shot movies there. I feel like you know how it is. You go down there and it sweeps you up. I mean, I love New Orleans too. I was just going to say, Adam, you're not from there and you love it pretty good. Yeah, I love New Orleans. Yes, sir. Yeah, that's like John Fogarty. That's like Fogarty in fucking Credence. It's like he's from the Bay Area and you're like, wait, but everything's Bayou music. How'd you get that?

How'd you do that? And I want to apologize to everyone that he hoodwinked. We're sorry about that. Disappoint! We take full responsibility for Fogarty and his swamp claims and all that. And I want to thank you boys for

For Ludding, last week, I needed, you know, people were working and I had the COVID and it was nice to, we had a down week last week where we didn't do the pod. And, you know, thank God, because I would have been a total fucking mess. Thank you, God!

So thank you guys for pushing this and letting my COVID brain heal a little bit. You're welcome. You're welcome. Well, yeah. No, thank you. Thank you for giving us a week off. I enjoyed it. This is a chore for me. Well, I'll say I enjoyed coming back and talking to you guys. My gosh, I missed the hell out of you. I did too. I missed you guys. This is an absolute chore for me. Here's my apology, Kyle.

I'm sorry we're still friends. I don't want to be that black cloud over you. So sorry that we're pressuring you into this friendship. It's super rough. I loved the week off. It's rough to do this with you guys every week. Oh, sir, I don't like it. Perfect.

Just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I enjoy it with you guys. He's kidding. He's joking. And this is another episode of This is Important. To us. Starbucks Iced Apple Crisp Oat Milk Shaken Espresso.

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